We open to a fairly large parking lot in Chicago as the sun is fading quickly behind the buildings. Many of the spots are occupied by older model Hondas, Fords, and the like. Sedans, sports utility vehicles, and minivans dot the yellow marked pavement.
On the far side of the lot another vehicle pulls in and drives towards the camera. It’s a very nice Mercedes Benz S Class Convertible. The license plate is from Texas and has an “Enterprise Rent A Car” placard around it.
Behind the wheel, we oddly find Mikey Unlikely. The man who is typically chauffeured everywhere whips the car into a parking spot as the wheels come to a stop. In the seat Unlikely’s head bobs. Clearly he’s in an upbeat mood.
“Together we made it…”
He recited the lines rhythmically to the Busta Rhymes, Linkin Park song from many years ago. He’s a man of timeless classics.
I have fought so hard to be here! NO! WE have fought so hard to be here! We had a plan, we put it in motion and here we are!
Mikey pushes the button that activates the convertible roof. The machine whurrs as the roof replaces itself over the vehicle. Unlikely adjusts the collar on his suit jacket before opening the door. He’s got on a button up shirt, a blazer, and a pair of nice blue designer jeans on.
Brothers…Bruvs…Whatever you wanna call it, we’ve been through war with each other, but not a war like this. Not a war like we’ve been facing in Chicago.
The Hollywood Actor slaps one final layer of cologne on, his fourth since leaving the 24K! Rental some 22 minutes prior. He looks at himself in the rear view mirror and adjusts his hair just a bit.
Looking good, and why not, I’ve got a big responsibility tonight! Representing my Bruv! Hell, lot’s of big responsibilities coming up for the #2 Ranked Tag Team in High Octane Wrestling. Tag matches, resume building, and WAR GAMES! The Hollywood Bruvs are in the War Games Tag Team Championship Match! Furthermore… there’s a good chance, one or both of the Bruvs could end up in the War Games Main Event as well. Representing the man who gave us this opportunity, Lee Best.
Mikey steps out of the car and shuts the door behind him. Clicking the button on the keyfob that locks it, he returns the keys to his incredibly tight pockets. He checks the handle one time to make sure it’s locked.
We’ve been clawing, week in and week out. Yes we had a couple slip ups, and you know what we admitted it when it happened. The last few weeks however? The last few weeks have been PERFECTION!. Multiple wins, no losses, how sweet it is to be whole again!
Unlikely looks up at the orange glow of the sun as it fades away. Night has mostly taken over at this point. That doesn’t stop the actor from pulling out the signature shades however. He slips the aviators onto his head and begins to walk towards the plain brick building.He looks down watching his nice dress shoes clack off the pavement below them. Just like the bruvs… moving forward.
Everything has come together. That little fiasco with Murray at the bar, bailing him out, bringing him in CLOSER! Beautiful. I’d say he’s almost one of us now. Not necessarily a Bruv… nah that might never happen, He’s not cut out for Frapps and Strippees, nor does he want to be. Murray’s one of the greatest wrestlers this sport has ever seen, and he did it all while toeing the line when it comes to being all that is honest and true. I’ve never seen anything like it. He ALWAYS took the high road… but now… somethings different. I think he’s finally seeing how good it feels to take the low road. We’re rubbing off on him, Jimmy’s rubbing off on him. He’s so good, and I for one can’t wait to see how LOW he can go…
He makes it around the corner of the building and onto the sidewalk. Walking down the street he notices the streetlights click on. The soft buzz can be heard underneath each as he passes. About 3 buildings ahead he can see a group of people standing around outside. Mikey’s eyes start darting between the faces looking for the familiar one.
Perfection didn’t come out on top of his ICON title match with Mike Best.. that’s ok. We knew Mike would be a tough challenge. Pissed and ready to go from our debut attack when we smashed his head against the canvas. The main thing is… GoD is FINALLY paying attention. Witherhold got under the skin of the Son of GOD himself. Enough to get the match in the ring. That’s what I like to see. After ignoring us, After pretending we didn’t set HOW on fire when we came in, we’re going to beat down everyone else in our path until they have no one else to look upon than 24K. We’ve already taken over the Tag Team Division in High Octane. The Top Two Teams in the High Octane are the Bruvs and the Champs. Witherholds getting ICON Title matches, and Murray’s in the main event this week. I’d say everything is coming together nicely….But that’s not why I’m here tonight.
He approaches the group and nods at a few and quickly turns away trying not to be recognized. The double doors on the building in front of them open up and a man allows the group to enter. Mikey stays outside waiting. He pulls his blazer a little tighter trying to stay warm in the Windy City.
I’m here for the Bruvs… I’m not here for 24K. I’m here for Jay Eff Fucking Kay, OKAY!?
Footsteps come from behind Mikey.
Unlikely smiles wide and turns around to greet Jesse. Kendrix walks out of the shadow and is a bit downtrodden. Mikey punches him in the shoulder, and then wraps an arm around his Bruv guiding him into the brick building.
Mikey Unlikely: This is going to be SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!
Kendrix doesn’t say a word as they enter the building and walk past the sign that points them towards the stairwell.
Alcoholics Anonymous: Room 305
We’re home! No, not the 24K rented place for the manly men in Chicago, but we’re home in Los Angeles, we’re home in Hollywood, we’re at the home of one Mr. Mikey Unlikely. In his living area to be exact. Mikey comes down the large staircase in athletic gear. He looks great, albeit slightly disheveled and sweaty. Noticing the camera on him he throws that cocky wink it’s way as he hits the bottom of the stairs.
I love a great workout! Get the juices flowing, the sweat pouring, and the strippees whoring… you know what I mean?
He looks back over his shoulder at the camera as he moves to the living area. He’s got some pep in his step.
Between my time in High Octane and my other commitments in and around the country, it’s finally nice to get some ME TIME!
Unlikely turns to the camera and points to himself with both arms before falling back on the couch. He stretches his limbs out, relaxing.
All this winning the Hollywood Bruvs have been doing in HOW, and in life, sure is tiring! On the coffee table in front of the couch is an ice cold Frapp sitting on a #MikeyMoney branded drink coaster. He picks it up but a thought comes to his head before drinking.
Ya know, before I joined HOW I heard the rumors, I heard the clammering, I heard the SHIT TALK. Rick Dickulous and Matt Klazzic take on all comers! The BEST Tag Team in professional wrestling today, ready and willing to take on any team in the country! They were new, they were hot, and they were taking over the sports!
Mikey takes a nice long draw from the straw, holding up one finger for the camera to wait until he’s done.
MMMMMmmmmm…. That is good! Something is missing though…
He takes the drink and gets up off the couch and shuffles quickly into the kitchen area. He talks as he walks.
Anyway… Rick & Matt…So they sit down for an interview and people start asking questions. What about this tag team? What about that tag team? And all was well and good, just a couple of largemouth bass hanging loose. THEN the Peanut Gallery put OUR NAME in your mouth. They asked “What about the Hollywood Bruvs?”… Do you remember what you said Rick? Do you? Because I do…do you?… You said “WHO?”
HEY YOU DON’T SAY THAT!
His mouth agape in horror, Mikey moves over to the island in the kitchen. Resting there is a basket of fruit. He rifles through it quickly before picking out a ripe banana.
When it comes to the Hollywood Bruvs we’ve heard it all Rick… We’ve heard that we’re soft. We’ve heard that we’re coffee drinking buffoons. We’ve heard that people think we’re dumb and we’re only worried about the glitz and the glam. People have said we’re distracted with other ventures and other issues. At the end of the day, the one thing we haven’t heard… is that people don’t know who we are!
He unpeels the banana and breaks it in half. He takes a bite from one end before dropping the rest of it in his Frapp. It sinks to the bottom. Mikey looks both ways quickly and slides the lid back on his drink.
Don’t tell Jesse I did that! If he knew I had anything other than… well it wouldn’t be good! Anyway, as I was saying…
He replaces the lid to the iced drink and takes a sip. The former unrecognized HOW Tag Team Champion continues spilling his thoughts while walking past his many golden awards on the wall.
You don’t know WHO I AM!? Jesse and I were tag team champions the first time your bitch ass picked up an ax. You remember back when you were getting up every morning at 4am? When you turned on the coffee machine to head to your pathetic, little, twelve hour, manual labor, going nowhere job at the lumber mill. I was starring in television commercials, making cameos in films, and topping the pop charts. When you got your “big break” in the ‘great white north’ my career had already been established! I was a star before you knew what this sport was all about.
Back in the living area, Mikey rests back on the couch once more. Taking a long sip from his now Banana Frapp he tries to relax.
Kendrix has been one of the fastest rising stars in this game, debuting in 2015 and winning World Titles by 2018. We’ve won tag team championships in places you couldn’t dream of getting a shot in. Why? Because you’re like your ax, you’re a fucking hack.
He flips his flippees off and over his head.
So much so that you couldn’t even keep your tag team together. When the Hollywood Bruvs and 24K joined High Octane Wrestling… our eyes were on the prize and we went for the biggest and baddest stars on the roster. I knew however in the back of my head that waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy down on the bottom of the show was Rick Dickulous. In the back of my head, I knew half of the shit talkers were here, and that at SOME POINT, I would get a shot at you too. A shot to show you who the Hollywood Bruvs are. Now we’re here in High Octane and where is Matt Klazzic, Rick? Where’s your boy?
Leaning forward Mikey shrugs at the camera. Say what you want about JFK but he wouldn’t abandon Mikey before a fight.
You came in as a singles star to High Octane, You entered the famed Lee Best Invitational, thinking you were going to make a name for yourself. Rise to the top quickly, and why not, It’s a great opportunity. Even for a big man like you however, it was too big a spotlight. After a couple quick wins, High Octane caught up, your opponents caught on. We saw you for what you are… big… clunky… unreliable.
Speaking of clunky, The all American Bruv starts to struggle against his frapp. Banana in the straw, classic smoothie issue, rarely seen in frappe related incidents however. He stirs the frapp with his straw.
You started getting beat left and right. The competition started swallowing you whole, so you panicked… you reached out to your old tag team partner. “Oh Matt, Please come to High Octane Wrestling… I suck as a singles star, but maybe we can make it on your shoulders! “
How did that turn out?
Matt Klazzic is nowhere to be found…
Kendrix on the other hand?
Mikey pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and speed dials the number one contact in his phone, and the number one contact in his heart. He holds the phone up in the air so everyone can hear. On the other side Kendrix answers the phone.
“BRUV IS THAT YOU!? Listen, Yeah!? I was….” CLICK!
Mikey’s point is proved, Kendrix is always one call away, regardless of where they are in the world. He’ll apologize for hanging up on him later.
You were already falling Rick, now… it’s just getting embarrassing. You lost your shot at the LBI, you lost your tag team partner, he couldn’t make it in High Octane, and now… now you’re grasping at straws. Trying anything to stay on the roster… Doing anything to save your career. You’re so desperate you’d even team up with HATE.
Mikey counts the very desperate acts by Rick, he quickly fills up his hand.
Why should we be surprised? At this point everything you’ve done has failed, here we have the “epic MILF Hunter gone dark.” So to recap, you talked shit on the bruvs, you performed miserably in High Octane, your partner left you, and now you’re turning against everything you’ve ever loved to regain some semblance of self worth? Or do you just need someone else to drag down with you?
Light bulb moment! Mikey has a surprised look on his face and pauses.
Oh but I have to give credit where credit is due Rick, I did see you win your big matchup this past week. We saw the entire thing, because we scout our opponents. That finishing move of yours looks quite nasty, and Jesse and I are scouting it, so that we can see it coming. Neither one of us wants to get dumped on our heads.
Mikey leans forward now. He opens his drink and pulls a large piece of banana from it and chomps it down, covered in frapp goodness. Talk about a “Chef Creation”
Enter Hughie Freeman, Irish carny by day, bare knuckle fighter by night. The new man on campus, Rick grabbed him up for a tag team partner before anyone else could get to him. I told another friend something recently and it holds true here. You never want to be friends with the first guy you meet when you get somewhere new, that guy’s always the most desperate… you gotta wait, you gotta scope out the place, and then get in where you fit in. Hell who knows Hughie Freeman could have possibly been a 24K member down the line… Unlikely, but you never know! Now he’d never be invited in, he’s stained himself with HATE, he’s covered himself with loser.
In an act of manly manliness Mikey chugs the rest of the Frapp, spilling coffee down both sides of his mouth.
Hughie, we’ll get to you… Saturday at REFUELED, you’re both going to HATE it, when the Bruvs put the final nail in the Rick Dickulous coffin.
He throws the cup to the ground violently.
Come get me Rick… I’m waiting. Let me show you who the fuck I am.