Posted on July 24, 2023 at 11:27 pm by Conor Fuse

Never said you didn’t earn this role, Mike. I’m here to strip you down, not build you up. It’s also not being a Mike Best Clone, that’s what HOFC is. Didn’t you read the link you sent to Darin Zion?

And I’m the idiot.

You wanna measure your dick against mine? Compare accomplishments? OK. It’s the nonstop narrative you always blabber on about. And why shouldn’t you? Fucking champ of life, I respect the hell out of your trophy case.

There’s one little problem, bud.

Matches work in the present. The here and now. The ONE match in front of my face.

Maybe that’s a little too Any Given Sunday, but it’s fucking true. Answer me this question HONESTLY.

Do your 10 world titles over my 2 mean you get some unprotected FREE shots before the bell?

Didn’t think so.

I don’t care what you accomplished when I wasn’t around. Ultimately, I don’t give a shit what you accomplished when I was around, either. Dick wave forever, life will move on. You will get slower, lazier and fade into obscurity just like the rest of us. It’s not an “everyone’s tried it in HOFC approach vs. Mike.” It’s a fact of life.

And you won’t be able to handle it when the world forgets about you.

That’s what you’re ultimately afraid of, isn’t it? Becoming irrelevant. When Mike isn’t on the FRONT page of or the TIP of everyone’s tongue, you panic and make your return. Then it’s straight to HOFC.

I’ve seen this happen so many times now that I’ve put together what I’d like to call the Mike Best HOC.

The High Octane Cycle of your recycled shit.

-Make big dick knee-to-head return on next target
-HOFC matches
-Flex about past accomplishments (we are here)
-Compete for a championship
-Fizzle out after it takes too much effort to maintain
-Step aside and endorse new blood
-Suddenly the endorsees vanish
-Back to the top

Like where’s GenoSyde? We had a lot in common, living in our mom’s basements and enjoying Canadian destroyers. GREAT SCOTT? SUPER FUN. I didn’t mind Ivy English. All guys you supported who had solid success.

But then…

That spotlight ain’t on you anymore. POOF, Mike needs it back.

Naaa man, no you don’t. Not this time.

This time, I’m taking it from you.

Everyone else might be scared to walk into the cage. Don’t lump me in with them.

I went to your dad with this idea. There’s a lesson I’ve wanted to teach you for a while. It’s a message basketball players learn. Might help you after the PPV loss.

Play without the ball.

It ain’t in your current capabilities. Case and point… last week you’re already cutting a fucking promo on Stronk Godson.

Mike Best: Stronk you’re good but I’m coming for that title. I NEED the world title. I HAVE TO have it! Yadda yadda yadda.

All this while you’re LSD Champion.


Oh, the disrespect. I will make you sorry.

Did you use a thesaurus and recycle that Stronk promo for when you faced me in 2021? Sounds verbatim. Sounds lazy. You say I’m on repeat like your past HOFC opponents?

Buddy, you’re on repeat every fucking day.

As stupid as it sounded back in 2020, there was a reason why I compared you to Electronic Arts. Yeah, your stuff is solid smack. It doesn’t cut out the bullshit, though. It’s all bullshit when it’s the same.

Heaven forbid someone wants to explain a backstory of match relevance. I ain’t talking three pages about a fucking 97red cedar. I explain my stories with a heart and sense of passion you can NEVER measure up to.

Doesn’t matter. In two weeks I’m taking the LSD Title and defeating you at your own game.

Then I’m going to walk away. You’ll have to show tremendous effort from the ground up. Think of it like the start of a new regular season. Tom Brady didn’t go straight to the next Super Bowl after his last one. LeBron doesn’t get the rock in his hands every, single, time. Play defense. Play the pick in pick in roll. Go through the regular season.

In other words, live without a title.

Accolades be damned. I don’t give a fuck what you did. That’s a stupid waste of breath.

I care what you’re gonna do.

And you’re gonna lose to me.

…By the way, I’m 29.