Cool Caveman

Cool Caveman

Posted on April 21, 2021 at 10:07 pm by Steve Harrison


Let’s finish the funeral, I suppose.

This isn’t about friendships.  I do not care what anyone thinks of me when the day is over because everyone has their own interests at heart, I just openly admit it.  I am such a bad guy, but honestly, I should be the easiest person to understand, I fucking have to explain it every week to you morons.

Every opponent I have always tries to talk down to me thinking they are morally superior to me.  Therefore, you trying to high road me is absurd, Xander.  You are not some great man with ideas that uplift humanity.  You believe chaos will lead to truth in the world, so you are pretty much the trickle-down effect of Religion.

How great.

Can’t wait when buildings crumble and you talk about it being a grand day.  Can only start building now, don’t worry about the corpses.  Feed the people crack who protest our dishonesty.


The hypocrites sure are ganging up together these days.  I am sure LT will invite you into her little pretentious circle any second now.

I will be the goddamn caveman if I must.  Cavemen worked for everything they had.  They hunted beasts much larger than themselves with mere rocks and bones from other conquests.  I can relate to that because I am one of the hardest working wrestlers here.  I am not going to relax or hesitate because a caveman reacts on instinct and the only thing I feel when I hear you talk is fury.  You don’t seem to understand the disrespect I feel that you dare say I am ‘dumb’ for claiming victory early when you haven’t done an ounce of training for me.

I think you are a joke but at least I learned who you are and what you believe in.  I even only made one name joke towards you, that is how serious I am about pummeling that annoying face of yours.

But look, I know you… as the intelligent man you claim to be (laughs) must have something better in your arsenal then calling me ugly.

Have you seen my picture?  I make the women orgasm when they rub my head.

I don’t see the point in defending how I look to you anyway.  You haven’t left your cave since the sun was out in ages you anemic looking charlatan.  Not sure if you are the one anyone would go to for an opinion on how one looks.  I could look like the fucking swamp thing and still have better luck with speaking to actual women then your bumbling, fumbling wordplay.


They must be as stinky as my ranking, oh darn.  Oh harumph, genius, I am offended by this creativity.

My ranking, my ranking, my ranking you are obsessed with such trivial things, Xander.  If there were a Chain of Command in The Best Alliance, I still wouldn’t follow it.  I have a tad more freedom then the others because I haven’t failed in any of my missions.  If I want to attack Sean Stevens, I will.  If I want to threaten Cancer Jiles a week before he joined The BA, I will.

I am not a puppet and I am not kneeling at the chair of Lee Best.  He and I understand each other, and it isn’t always about money…you know…making money is also important.  Heh.

Maybe you just understand relationships where you wait like a mannequin for your orders.  The sad fact is that you do this for something that you cannot even see.  How do you get you orders from Eris, anyway?

I am being brutally honest here.  I have no idea.  Do you say her name three times in mirror like Candyman and she shows up to tell you to poison the towns water supply?

Failing and flailing there, big guy.

You don’t have to like me.  What you need to do is show me respect and learn who The Miracle Man is.  If this is what comes out of your mouth, I am starting to think you might trip on the way to the cage and knock yourself out.  No problem though we have security that can toss you in the ring and when it is all said and done you will feel real Enlightenment.

I am arrogant because I have proven to be the BEST.  You have done the bare minimum.

You are just a parasite.

Leech off someone else.

You are Anemic…get it?