Conscientious Canadian

Conscientious Canadian

Posted on January 27, 2023 at 11:53 pm by Steve Solex




Three shots of a shotgun are heard over Solex’s new Tennessee farm in Franklin. Solex and his dad, Dick, have been at it all day. From hunting turkey and now, shooting skeet. 

“Ahhhh, skeet skeet skeet!” Dick shouts out as he destroys three orange disks with three consecutive shots right out of mid air.

“You’re a straight up, fuckin’ idiot,” Solex mutters under his breath.

Dick abruptly turns to his son, wildly flagging him with the rifle.

“Is that right?” The elder Solex inquires as he recklessly  turns around with the 12 gauge shotgun over his shoulder causing Solex to play the five rules of dodgeball – duck, dive, dodge, dip, and…duck.

“Yeah, that’s right.  You draft dodging, conscientious objection having Canadian,” Solex says, waving a finger in his dad’s face.

“You must have me confus…” Dick begins, before immediately being cut off.

“Shut the fuck up already.  I know what you are, you spineless prick. And I know what you’re good at. You suck at war, quit trying to lie to yourself and to me, you yellow-backed bitch. And while you may not be good at being a real man, you are good at wrestling. So, I’ll give you that,” Solex says, attempting to reason with the old man.

“Yeah, well…explain to me, just how exactly you have managed to lose…not just once, but twice to a man like Brian Hollywood.  Explain that shit to me, please,” Dick says, pointing a finger right back in his son’s face.

“Look, pop…it’s not easy. Having two losses against Brian Hollywood looming over me all of these years, when I know that I can beat him. I fucking know it; with every single fiber of my being, I know it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that he was lucky. Not by any means. Hollywood is a hell of a competitor who is constantly overlooked and underestimated by his peers. The guy has hashes in the win column over some of the biggest names in the wrestling world and to put a fuckin’ cherry on top, he’s a former World Champion. The guy is as fierce a competitor as they come, and I’ve definitely got my work cut out for me this week…without a lot of time to recover,” Solex says.

“Bobinette Carey was way more of a threat than I thought or gave her credit for, so credit where credit is due: she’s a fuckin’ beast, and she took me to the limit. But as good as she was, I was better and I know that now is the time to capitalize on that momentum and push forward in this LSD Championship tournament. There’s only one goal in all of this and that’s to become the LSD Champion for the first time in my career, and as of this very moment…the only person that is standing in my way of me and that championship title is Brian Hollywood and I have to beat him like I’ve never beat anyone before. I’ve got to put his ass through the motherfuckin’ canvas and punish him into submission by any means necessary. There’s nothing, in my mind, that’s off limits at this point.”

Solex’s dad just stares at his son.  He knows something is missing, he knows…this isn’t his week. Whether it’s the new farm…or something else, he knows something just isn’t right.