Abby Choi here!
Kay now. Couple things real quick.
STRONK is fighting Conor Fuse on Oct. 30th, and it seems the people have decided to back the former HOW World Champion. Fair weather fans. You can cheer whoever the hell you wanna cheer, but I think you, the fans, deserve to know a bit more about the man behind the character.
So here’s a list of reasons why Conor Fuse is terrible and a true sonuvabitch.
No one should support him or cheer him. His merch should be left to be devoured by moths in some abandoned warehouse in Stockton. His name should be wiped from the HOW history books!
All of these are real and totally corroborated.
It’s about time we cancelled Conor Fuse.
LIST OF PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOURS EXHIBITED BY CONOR FUSE THROUGH THE PERIOD JANUARY 2022 to OCTOBER 2022 INCLUSIVE:
- Conor Fuse, in a position of power as HOW World Champion at the time, once sidled up next to another wrestler in the locker room showers. Mr. Fuse reportedly hummed a tune from A Goofy Movie (Stand Out?) and slipped a finger in the unsuspecting wrestler’s anus, asking the wrestler in a strangely seductive tone “where the lollipop go?” This happened. Chris Kostoff saw the whole thing. It may have been his anus. Disturbing.
- Conor Fuse molested every scrap of deli meat in catering. Multiple times. Hundreds, maybe. Mr. Fuse passes this behaviour off as a locker room leader arriving to the arena early and leaving late, but the pastrami tells a different story—a far more sinister tale of ego and wanton perversion. Ever wonder why there was ball hair on the charcuterie board? Or why there was a charcuterie board that one time, way back in like May(?), and then never again? Ask Mr. Fuse. He knows. The smoked turkey knows. Stomach-churching.
- Conor Fuse keeps a beat-up Moleskine in his duffel. Multiple people have seen it, touched it, smelled it. The things, the ideas, it contains… repeating them here would be inappropriate. HOWrestling.com ain’t 4Chan. Just know these ideas are very radical, very extreme. Does Mr. Fuse harbour radical and extreme ideas? The infamous Moleskine would indicate yes. But maybe it’s just some sick man’s idea of satire? You be the judge. Revolting.
- Conor Fuse actively watches natural disasters and their documented aftermath. An acquaintance of Mr. Fuse (who asked to remain anonymous) provided additional color—though, admittedly, there is nothing bright and effervescent about the problematic revelations this individual recounted: “He just, like, is obsessed with hurricanes, floods, tornados, whatever; if it can fuck up a town or maybe a small city he goes balls-deep in that hoe. I’d catch him watching gore vids from underground websites when he was supposed to be training. I swear he watched a family get swept into the sea by a tsunami, like, a thousand times. And he didn’t blink once. When I told him no, he kept calling my buddy over and making him watch it. Again and again and again. My buddy says he (Mr. Fuse) breathed funny and smelled like applesauce and old Vaseline.” Does Mr. Fuse have a suffering fetish? Does he require a statistically significant death count to reach sexual completion? Or is it just a disgusting hobby of his? Maybe both are true? Ask yourself this: Do you know for certain he doesn’t—like, that neither of those things apply to him? Because if you can’t be 100% sure, you should assume it’s true until proven otherwise. That’s just how laws work, bapa.
- Conor Fuse assisted in the murder of MONGO the bull. This you already know. What you don’t know is that after he did it, he went home and punched his grandmother in the teeth. Knocked that old girl’s falsies clean out her face and made her forget why her husband of sixty years ain’t been around in a minute. Yes, he punched a grandma—his grandma—and then forced her, in her concussed state, all bloody and toothless, dressed in a floral nightgown, to make him and his degenerate friends pizza rolls while they played Super Smash Bros.
All of these things are real. Again, you must believe them because this article has been posted to the Internet. Also, bulleted lists are basically empirical evidence.
I just don’t think monsters like Conor Fuse should be allowed to prosper and receive the adulation of the HOW fans when, as these very real and very true examples show, he’s a disgusting pig who should be fired and blacklisted from the wrestling biz, if not outright sent to prison. Strong, powerful, abusive men like Conor Fuse cannot go unchecked.
Well, bitch, I checked.
Abdullah “The Inspiration” Choi
(If anyone wants to come forward and share their experiences as they pertain to Conor Fuse, know that you don’t need to be afraid. Abdullah Choi is here. We have strength in numbers. Solidarity. #IAswell)