Cheers to HOW

Cheers to HOW

Posted on June 21, 2024 at 9:54 pm by Scottywood

Girls and Guys, welcome to HOW’s LEGO Games!  Since Scotty feels he has said all we ever can in HOW, he has let me, The Frankster, Frankie the Cameraman cut his second promo for him!  I know Scotty may not have always treated me the best over the years, or let me know he was alive after he was killed by Stevens, but he bought me an awesome Star Wars LEGO set, so we’re all good.  Plus we’re family… and you can never really stay angry at family.  It is one of those reasons that Scotty always comes back to HOW… cause we are all family.  

Like Lee, who has been like a second father too me.  I mean, he may have stabbed me in the eye, but I totally expect him to also apologize some day and give me an awesome LEGO set too.  Go check out my wish list on Amazon Lee!  Or Uncle Mike, who I know just hides his love behind his tough outside armor.  But we all know how you really feel Mike… and I love you too!  Then we got Christopher Columbus America, who in 1497, sailed the ocean red.  With the Titanic, Britanica and I think the ship from Jaws.  I think all those ships sank though… but I know you’re gonna do great still Chris, just as long as you can swim.  I can let you borrow my orange swimmies if you need too!

Then there is Carey, who has been the closest thing to a mom I have ever had.  Scotty says her brain is more messed up than his right and thinks she is living in some kind of TV show.  Not like the Truman Show though, which I really like.  Wish there was a show about my life, I’m sure it would get all the ratings, we could call it The Frankie Show!  But I’m not allowed to watch the show Carey thinks she is in though cause apparently they’re all really slutty… whatever that means.  But I hope whatever you are doing on your TV show, you are happy, cause you were always the nicest person in HOW to me and I really miss hanging out with Livie.

Mister Stevens… you killed my dad… maybe.  I mean I guess you didn’t cause he is still alive.  So you failed.  But I see you won a World Title again… by pinning Zion and not Mike, but you did it!  For nineteen days until Mike won it back… but you did it!  Don’t let anyone take that away from you Stevens.

Then you got Kostoff Junior, that’s so cool, maybe we can start a new HOW that just has all the kids of the old people.  HOW Jr.!  Worked for Disney and Nickelodeon.  But you’re daddy was scary and angry, I hope you are… wait, is that your photo?  You look older than your daddy!  I guess being the son of a sinner ages you pretty quickly.

Yeah, that is why you look like you’re still twenty-one, cause you’re adopted.  And what are you doing with my phone, you’re not recording shit for War Games, are you?

I know, you actually chose me, so you love me even more than if I was your blood son.  And yes, you said you had nothing new to say about everyone in HOW, so I figure I talk for you and tell everyone how much I appreciate and care for them.

Oh… they are gonna just… love that.  Like really, really take that to heart.  Fuck, I can hear my own eyes rolling in my head.  But fuck it, it’s true, I have nothing left in the tank to say about the boys and gals of HOW.  I just want to step into that War Games cell and bloody the fuck out of anyone that stands in front of me until they drag my broken body out.

So I can continue on?  I had a whole bit on Jatt Starr and my thirteen new nicknames I came up for him.

I might not have much to really say, but fuck if I am going to go into my last War Games with you being my fucking mouthpiece.  With your G-rated bullshit love fest.  Like do you really think Mike Best loves you?  I want you right now to tell Mike to go fuck himself.  Can you do that for me just once? 

But Mike really isn’t that bad of a guy, he’s a big meanie sometimes, but that’s just his outside face.

Tell Mike to go fuck himself!

But that’s a bad word…

FRANKIE CALRISSIAN… TELL MIKE BEST TO GO FUCK HIMSELF!

Fine!  Go… fuck yourself Mike.

There ya go!  Now that’s my son.  If you wanna cut promos in HOW, you need to be a dick, you can’t give your opponets a fucking inch… or millimeter in your case.  Now you wanna go out to the bar with me and have a couple beers to prep for this War Games match?

I said your bad word, Scotty… but I’m not having a beer.

It was worth a try.  Can you go grab me one from the fridge?  I think I need to toast HOW before I end all of this.

Sure Scotty.

Sometimes you need to teach your children some lessons the hard way.  Frankie needs to toughen up.  I’m not always going to be around to defend him, to protect him.  The only person that ever cared about Frankie here in HOW is Carey, the rest would as quickly hang him up from the ceiling and use him as a punching bag.  Give Lee the chance and he’ll stab Frankie in the other eye without a second thought and not lose a wink of sleep over it.

Mike would murder Frankie and he would laugh about it and I think Stevens would inject black tar heroin into his veins and watch with joy as he slips into a narcotic coma… or is that last one me?  You’re the historian Stevens, you wanna refresh me on that one?  Also maybe remind me how all your attempts to end my career have gone?

Here’s your beer Scotty, I got myself an Athletic non-alcoholic one, so I can toast with you.

Who the fuck let that shit in my house… ugh, I guess it’s better than nothing.  You have given a lot to HOW… more than many wrestlers who have.  I mean you’re a one time HOW Tag Team champion and you are a Hall of Famer.

Awww, thanks Scotty, I forget those things sometimes, I was pretty awesome and epic…

NO!  We do not use that word anymore.  I’d rather carve my eardrums out with a rusty fork than hear you mention the fucking e-word.

Oh she is not going to like that at all Scoo… Scotty.

Good catch cause I would have taken your other fucking eye.  Now I am almost out of my mood to say something nice about HOW.  To toast the fed that has been my home for some sixteen years.  A place that will always be a home to me, whether HOW is still around or not.  WHich is another reason I can’t say no when offered a chance to compete here… cause I never know if I will ever get another.  Everyone is getting older here and you can only keep up the energy that makes HOW… HOW for so long.

It’s also crazy to see what HOW is today, how it has grown since I joined it in two thousand and eight.  What it’s like compared to the federation I started in two thousand.  Fuck… I never imagined I could be in a federation like HOW when I was running mine and I was in PTC.  Looking up at all the great federations that headlined them.  But I found HOW, I found a place that was willing to give me a chance and we did something pretty fucking awesome.  I won my World Title, set records with the LSD and made it into the Hall of Fame.

Then there was the community of wrestlers… that was something I really found for the first time in this business.  The friends I made, the evening of coming up with ideas… or just bullshiting, it’s what really kept me invested in HOW and kept motivating me to make HOW the best that I could.  That comradery was really awesome… and I miss for sure.  But life is also different than it was then.  As I said before, things change… but I will have friends from HOW for the rest of my life and that shit is pretty fucking cool.

So, let’s all raise our glasses to HOW, a toast for all that HOW has given to us over the years.  The memories, the friends, the so many things.  High Octane Wrestling will live forever cause of the hard work of so many over the years, the dedication, the sacrifice.  Cheers to HOW and let’s go out there at War Games and give it every last fucking thing we got.

CHEERS!  DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK!