I’ll be the first to admit, none of this multiverse stuff makes a lick of sense.
There is no apparent logic to the things that have been happening the past few months.
But then again, it seems oddly fitting to be thrown into such chaos.
When my goddess threw this strange, curious mission into my hands, I had no idea what to expect at first.
I am, after all, a simple man.
I don’t pretend to hold the wisdom of a genius in my brain.
I am no scientist.
I am, to some extent, a philosopher…but that requires feeling as much as it does intelligence.
But, as I’m want to do, I must obey my goddess.
There’s a reason for this chaos in my life.
And I must protect it from itself.
It’s the only thing that makes sense in this world.
To protect what my goddess has bestowed upon me.
And to bring about the destruction of those who would threaten it.
To defile what she has made perfect.
She has given me unique abilities to cope with this new reality.
She has, if you will, given me a particular set of skills.
Skills that will be used to glorify her name.
Especially against those who stand in the way of the path I’m on.
People like John Sektor and Adam Ellis, who don’t even understand the full scope of what’s happening here.
These games you play, Mr. Sektor, bringing young Ellis under your wing…they will come back to haunt you.
And they will drag your new protégé down with you.
And that will be the opening that Darin and I exploit.
No one expected us to make it this far in the Maurako Cup.
They laughed us off. They called us the underdogs.
They said the two of us wouldn’t even get along well enough to survive the toils of the Cup.
You know how we responded to that?
We got past the man this tournament was named after and his pirate pal.
People made their excuses as to why this happened, but I knew.
I just knew in my heart of hearts.
It was meant to be.
Then we faced Scottywood’s pet project, Two-Man Advantage…and we benched them.
We took the power play, in the end.
While the rest of the tournament toiled to get the standings sorted, we sat pretty at the top of our group.
Truly the masters of our domain.
And now, we face the LSD Champion and his apparent new best friend, for a chance to take our rightful place as Tag Team Champions.
And then, we will truly be the Masters of the Multiverse.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Moments have passed since Xander Azula’s defeat at the hands of JJR, and the Head Disciple is none too pleased as he shoves the exit door away, making an escape from this arena and its constant noise.
“That’s it, I’ve had enough.”
He storms down the steps, eager to get back to his assigned transportation so he can go home when suddenly, a blue portal opens.
“Oh no, not this again. I’ve just about had it with–”
Xander doesn’t get a chance to finish that sentence, as Aeon Khronos steps out with a smile and a wave. He points a peculiar weapon at the portal, pulling the trigger…and suddenly, the portal disappears, much to the surprise of the Head Disciple.
“Hold on a second, is that…?”
Aeon’s smile widens with a grin as he nods in response.
“A portal gun. Zion’s been harrassing me for days to find some way to control these portals, and I finally managed to find this bad boy out at the edge of the universe. I’m keeping the other one, naturally.”
Khronos hands the gun over to Azula, who looks it over with amazement as he smiles for the first time tonight.
“Remarkable. Now I know how Randall feels about cell phones.”
This draws a chuckle from the Master of Time Itself.
“Funny you should mention him.”
“Why, what happened?”
“I sent him back. Figured now that we can control these portals he deserved to go home. Said something about finally finding his wrestler’s license.”
Xander gives a nod of his own, respecting that this loose end has finally been tightened up.
“And what of The Shark?”
“No idea, Xander. I’ve spent way too much time trying to chase these portal guns down.”
Another nod from the Head Disciple indicates his understanding as he continues to inspect the weapon he’s been given. He looks at the back of the gun as he points it toward the floor, intrigued by the mechanics of the device.
“So, how do you lock down a specific world to–”
Xander’s finger slips, pulling the trigger by mistake…which opens a blue portal underneath his feet, pulling the Head Disciple in! Aeon tries to reach out but the portal closes, putting the normally calm and collected man in a panic as he frantically pushes a button on his own portal gun. A golden portal opens, and Aeon sighs to himself before jumping in.
“Well, here goes nothing.”
Somewhere out in the cosmos, we find ourselves outside a strange-looking establishment…a cantina. How do we know this is a cantina?
The sign outside that reads “THE QUANTUM CANTINA” gives it away in an instant. Before we have much time to take in what’s happening, we see a blue portal open…and Xander Azula crashes to the floor. He rubs his head in pain as the portal closes back up, looking around in confusion at the scene before him.
“Where the hell am I?”
Xander looks over at the sign, nodding in acknowledgement of the information given to him as he makes his way into the locale. Inside, he is amazed by the fantastical sight of strange creatures taking drinks from a tall, bulbous bartender.
He can’t help but smile at this, walking toward the bar to get a beverage of his own when suddenly, the doors to the cantina swing wide open.
“Oh no, not you.”
Sure enough, The Shark enters the cantina with a bloody grin on his face…and this time, he’s not alone. The predator has brought a friend, and this behemoth looks just as hungry as his counterpart. The Shark motions to the nearest denizens of the cantina, who run like hell to get away from what’s to come.
And then, this predator points at the Head Disciple.
“Looks like meat’s back on the menu.”
The beast standing next to him takes his cue, charging toward Xander…who manages to evade the attack at the last second! The fiend crashes into the bar with a hard thud, breaking it in half as Xander jumps out the nearest window, landing on a patch of grass just outside.
His relief quickly dissipates, however, when he realizes he left his portal gun inside the cantina. Muttering obscenities to himself, Azula gets back to his feet to reassess the situation. Xander steps around the back of the building, looking for another entrance when he sees a golden portal opening from above.
“Oh, please tell me…”
The anxiety is rising for Xander, until Aeon comes dropping down with a superhero landing. He grins at the impeccable timing, but is interrupted by Xander silently motioning for him to approach.
“I’m glad you finally showed up. I need to get my gun back, and I need you to summon Zion over here. The Shark is here, and he brought a friend…a megalodon.”
“I said what I said. Go get Darin, we have a lot of work on our hands.”
With that, Aeon sets another portal to hop through as Xander runs back around to the front of the cantina.
“Hey, big boy! You still hungry? Come get some!”
The portal closing behind Khrono removes us from what’s to come, as we fade to black.