Buy GOD or Get Bottomlined! (LL1)

Buy GOD or Get Bottomlined! (LL1)

Posted on February 6, 2023 at 3:06 am by Scott Stevens

Location: Unknown

Date: February 7, 2023

As the scene opens up, we see a large and lavish forest. In fact, it is absolutely gorgeous. The sun is shining brightly in the clear, blue sky and the clichés continue with birds chirping at the top of their lungs.

Where are we?

That is the million dollar question isn’t it because we could be in any forest around the world.

As we continue deeper into the forest we see smoke from a far.

Forest fire?


As we get closer to the smoke we begin to see a clearing in the forest as we come upon a giant log cabin.

The hell?!?!?!?

The log cabin looks like something from a fairytale or out of a movie from the 1700s. As we circle to the front of the cabin we approach the front of it when the door suddenly flies open and a familiar face greets us.

“Hi there!”

Scott Stevens acknowledges the viewers as he appears from the cabin wearing nothing but blue jeans, steel toe boots and carrying an axe.

“It is I, your Demi-God of HOW, Scott Stevens taking a small break from the lights and sounds of the city as well as the media to clear my head as I prepare for the Lethal Lottery.”

Stevens informs the viewers as he walks down the steps and makes his way over to a tree stump and puts up a piece of wood before splitting it in two with his axe. The Texan reaches down and picks up another piece of wood and places it on the tree trunk and begins chopping once more and as he does he sees a shadow in the glistening steel of his axe.

“Some have wondered why I’ve come all the way out to the middle of nowhere in Montana and the answer is simple, I needed a break.”

Stevens informs as he chops another piece of wood.

“Sometimes you just have to get away and break away from your normal routine when things aren’t working and feeling complacent.”

Stevens chops the wood even harder and sweat begins to form on the ripped physique of the Demi-God. The sculptures of the Renaissance would all gush at the modern marvel as he reaches into his back pocket and produces a rag and begins to dab away the sweat pouring down his face and body.

“Don’t worry though, even though I have stepped away briefly I have been training diligently and I’ll be back stronger and more prepared for the Lethal Lottery as I potentially challenge for the HOTv, LSD, and World……”

Stevens lets his statement slowly linger as he hears a stick break behind him and as quick as lightning he turns and throws his axe behind him and it connects with a mysterious man wearing paramilitary gear.

“So it doesn’t matter if you’re fighting off paramilitary troops every thirty minutes.”

Stevens says as he makes his way over to the man and picks up a rocket launder the man had and points it to the sky at what appears to be a balloon of some kind. Scott presses the trigger and a rocket flies out and there is a huge Michael Bay-esque explosion that follows.

“Or shooting down Chinese spy balloons.”

Stevens tosses the rocket launcher down and places a boot on the dead man before pulling his axe out of his chest and placing it on his shoulder.

“You work up a manly sweat and you don’t want to walk into a potential championship match up at Lethal Lottery smelling like you just got out of a PRIME Wrestling event, do you?”

Stevens asks as he Spartan kicks another paramilitary soldier before bringing his axe down.

“Sure, smelling like the inside of a used condom may work for Jace Parker Davidson and the LSD championship, but unless you smell like bald eagles and taxes your world title match with Christopher America will be postponed or worse, cancelled.”

Stevens informs as he pries his axe out of the soldier’s face.

“This is why you need…..”

Stevens reaches into his back pocket and produces a 97 Red colored bar of soap and poses with it.


A wide grin forms over the Texan’s face.

“That’s right, when you want bourbon infused divinity at your fingertips just rub this baby between all your manly areas and you too can almost be as godly as HIMself for the low price of $9.97.”

Stevens shills before taking the bar of soap and throwing it as hard as he can and it drills another paramilitary soldier in the eye. Scott makes his way over to the solider and pulls the bar of soap out of the dead soldier’s eye and turns towards the camera.

“Buy GOD, or get Bottomlined.”

Stevens informs when another voice comes out of nowhere…..


Stevens quits posing and he helps the dead soldier to his feet as a man approaches him.

“That was fantastic.”

The man in question is the director of this little commercial that is taking place.

“Truly brilliant!”

The director tells Stevens who cautiously smiles.

“Thank you sir, glad to be here and help promote some new HOW products that will be appearing all over our HOTv and PWA programming. Everyone in MVW, sVo, SHOOT, and PRIME can either buy GOD or get Bottomlined when we roll through them at the next PWA event.”

Stevens says with a chuckle and the director nods in agreement.


The director replies as he looks over the footage before turning to Scott once more.

“Everything looks good. Get some lunch and we will finalize everything in a few hours.”

Stevens nods as he leaves the director and heads towards his trailer. Once inside his trailer he makes his way over to the fridge and pulls out a cold cut trio footlong from Subway and bottle of water before taking a seat in front of his makeshift desk. Scott presses a few buttons on his tablet and brings up the HOTv website and footage of Joe Bergman as he takes a bite out of his sandwich as the image fades to Stevens re-watching Ordinary Joe’s victory over GREAT SCOTT.


High Octane Television.

That is the network and brand that powers everything behind Phoenix Wrestling Alliance.

Not only is it the home of everything High Octane from the Golden Era to the Refueled Era, but also the Dark Era of ICON Wrestling and Golden Phoenix that even GOD himself couldn’t wish away as best as he tried. HOTv houses the largest collection of wrestling libraries from across the globe through various former rivals and allies that aren’t with us anymore. HOTv is a historical hub of the past and just like with history if you don’t learn from your past you are doomed to repeat it.That history states when you step up to HOW you’ll end up being bought and shown on HOTv as a last laugh.

That is why the HOTv championship has become one of the most carny and despised championships amongst the PWA and HOTv affiliates. Shame really, because what they consider carny and despiteful, I consider the workhorse championship in all of professional wrestling.

Think about it for a second.

Forget your bias towards Lee Best and HOW for a second and think what wrestling promotion has enough balls to allow one of their championships to float between companies and be defended regularly on rival programming if said rival promotion was willing to do it?

Not many.

When the championship first came to be, Lee decreed what the title was for and most people that were associated with HOTv or PWA said no. Hell, PRIME Wrestling basically blacklisted GREAT SCOTT from appearing on their programs with it even though he was the champion. I understand why they did it because the HOTv championship is basically the “HOW is fucking better than you” championship and no rival promotion wanted one of their top guys to lose to a HOW wrestler and have to admit that HOW might be better. Apparently, the HOTv Tag Team titles have been contested, but promotions involved aren’t throwing their promotion’s tag champions either.

In the words of GOD himself, “they are being cautious.”

Problem is, I don’t have time to be cautious.

Being cautious is like waiting for a HOFC match that isn’t going to show and last time I checked my name wasn’t Xander Azula.

My name is Scott Stevens and I’m always looking to prove myself. People may talk shit about me, but when I challenge them to a match they are quick to come up with excuses to avoid the match. I was one of the first to agree to travel promotions through a PWA contract and the only people who have offered me competition outside of HOW is Missouri Valley Wrestling.




And any others that may be interested aren’t lining up to face the current champion, Joe Bergman.

Would you want to face a multiple time world and tag team champion?

Joe Bergman went from being a man that was a comedy character for the majority of his career to the living embodiment of the American Dream as he relates to the common man. Why do you think everyone calls him, “Ordinary Joe?” Even though he is called ordinary he has been extraordinary since coming to High Octane Wrestling. He has been a mainstay in the upper echelon of HOW when he won the HOW World championship back in 2019 and he has continued that success through dominating the tag scene through various tag teams and stables.

Jace Parker Davidson would disagree, but Joe Bergman is the workhorse of HOW and it isn’t even close. It takes a special individual to hold onto the HOTv championship. Every single champion that has held it made it special and helped elevate it beyond a lower tier championship.

It got instant notification when a Hall of Famer put his stamp on it by becoming the very first champion.

The King of Everything used it as a platform of dominance after being out of action for so long.

A former world champion corrected the fluke win when Brian Hollywood would become the champion.

Then we have the Era of Beefness as big beefy boys would trade the title back and forth first starting with the shunned Jeffrey James Roberts, to GenoSyde, to STRONK Daddy, to Clay Byrd and ending with the greatest Scott not named Scott Stevens, in GREAT SCOTT.

GOD said that the first match drawn will be for the HOTv championship and HE wanted us to go nuts. I guess you have to be a little nuts to throw your hat into the Lethal Lottery, but you definitely have to be a lot nuts for wanting to take on Joe Bergman for the HOTv championship. Joe Bergman is the type of individual that will beat your ass inside of the ring and then buy you a beer when the match is over and point out what you did wrong in the match to prevent you from winning the HOTv championship from him. When it comes to the HOTv championship, Joe Bergman is the perfect guy you want to have hold it because he’s respected all over the world and he is very difficult to beat. That is why he is the guy you don’t want to hold because you will get no competition from the competition when the open challenge is there because they know they can’t beat him.

If I get chosen to face Joe Bergman, I have faith in my abilities that I will walk out as the new HOTv champion because Joe Bergman is from the “evil empire” of MVW and unless you’ve been living under a rock you already know what happens when a Stevens Dynasty meets anything related from Missouri Valley…..