Bullshit

Not going to bullshit

 

I have mainly been working by phone to communicate and execute my wrestling affairs because my desktop and laptop are on the fritz. Took them to Best Buy to let the Geek Squad take a look and while the laptop is an easy fix, the desktop is another story. I brought in the desktop at the right time because the hard drive was about to crash and needs replacing. No big deal they said, but a week later I still don’t have my electronic devices back. 

 

The nerds are probably looking at all my wife’s photos I have of her from her bikini shoots and I don’t blame them for looking. She is the Demi-Goddess after all.

 

On the bright side, I feel like shit and when you have a house full of kids ranging from various ages you’re bound to eventually catch something when they get sick, but as the Demi-God of HOW you have to push through because HE expects you to and that what I have been doing in between puking and shitting my brains out is radio interviews, study tape over the last couple of weeks of my opponents for Sunday and even my partner Joe Bergman because even though we are teammates this weekend, we are enemies come March to Glory.

 

The go home show before March to Glory is a major statement for everyone involved, especially the two tag team matches booked. The Main Event pits World champion, Christopher America, and bitter rival turned Final Alliance ally, Steve Solex, against their pay-per-view opponents, Conor Fuse and LSD champion, Jace Parker Davidson. Everyone is trying to establish momentum and trying to make a statement heading into the spring season. However, our tag match is a little more unique. You have the number one contenders to the HOTv Tag championships with Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr against the HOTv champion, Joe Bergman and myself. It’s unique because you have two members of the Final Alliance with Jatt and Ryan. You have Lee’s close confidant in myself and the Sith Lord himself, Joe Bergman, representing Ray McAvay’s Evil Empire to the fullest.

 

At first glance it looks like it’s a three on one handicap match, but I can promise you it’s not.

 

When that bell rings it will be a straight up tag team match this Sunday. I know what you’re thinking……

 

Aren’t you supposed to take out the EVIL EMPIRE?!?!?!?!?

 

You’re going to side with Joe Bergman against GOD?!?!?!?!?!?

 

You’re an EVIL EMPIRE spy aren’t you?!?!?!?

 

The reason it will be a straight up tag team is because HE hasn’t commanded me to take out Joe Bergman. I don’t associate myself with the petty squabbles that Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr have with our HOTv champion because HE knows the EVIL EMPIRE is good for business and he wants Joe Bergman to make it to March to Glory. At the pay-per-view, if Joe Bergman suffers a career threatening injury then so be it but that is in two weeks. Until then, if Joe Bergman reaches out for a tag I will extend my hand because that’s what partners do. Christopher America called it strange bedfellows and that’s what Joe and I are until the end of our match. Once that bell rings and our names are called out in victory, but HE gives me the signal then I will turn and clothesline my former partner out of his boots and proceed to do what beat the ever living shit out of him because apparently, “The Rembrandt of Wrestling” Jatt Starr and the self-proclaimed, “Headliner” Dan Ryan can’t do their fucking job and I have to clean up their mess, AGAIN! On that night, I’ll be the Shield to Joe Bergman just like I was the Shield to HOW when I had to protect the brand since Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr keep letting HIM down.

 

My advice to my opponents and Final Alliance associates……

 

DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

 

If you did your Job in the first place then I wouldn’t have had to save you a couple of weeks ago. 

 

Joe Bergman would’ve been the one tasered and beaten down with a chair instead of you two clowns…..oh wait! He was! And the person who did it was me.

 

Things aren’t looking good for you to.

 

I mean you let Sun-Cunt and the former Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath get the drop on you.

 

How disappointing and embarrassing.

 

The problem is you both underestimated how devious Joe Bergman truly is.

 

The man may claim to be the face of the people, but this sick bastard sat there and watched Steve Solex verbally, physically, and emotional abuse my son and did absolutely nothing because he was Scott Stevens’ son. If anyone has the most hate towards that man it’s not Lee Best, but ME. However, the difference between myself and the Clowns of Best is that I do my job when ask upon. I prevented him from winning the LSD and Tag championships at ICONIC. 

 

What have you done?

 

The great Dan Ryan, a renowned world champion and Hall of Famer throughout the wrestling profession, but in HOW he’s just another guy. Outside of an ICON and Tag title reign here and there you haven’t done a damn thing.

 

You’ve beat up Joe Bergman, and myself over and over.

 

Wow.

 

Good fucking job and I hate to bust your fucking ego, but Joe Bergman is still standing, and even though I’m still used as a punching bag to help you regain momentum your dumbass lost in the first place to put you over. However, you can’t even capitalize on that. The answer to your question is that I have never beaten you in the two matches that we have had since you have come to High Octane Wrestling, but even though you have beaten me on the weekly shows when have you won a match of significance? Sure, you are the number one contender to the tag titles, but unless you win those titles you effort was for nothing.

 

So instead of wondering what my relationship is with Lee Best or trying to ask me what you can do for me to get out of my debt you can do your fucking job. I mean, why was I inserted into this match at the pay-per-view? Because you and Jatt can’t do your job and I’m HIS insurance policy to make sure the HOTv championship is rescued and safely returned home from the clutches of the EVIL EMPIRE. Hell, whether I win it or not I am there to prevent Bergman from walking out of March to Glory with the HOTv championship. If you or Jatt put in fifty percent of the effort HIS will, will be satisfied.

 

Can you do it Dan?

 

Since you have come back the signs point to no.

 

That’s disappointing not just yourself but also, HIM.

 

You know what Daniel? 

 

The person who is at fault for the rise of Joe Bergman and the EVIL EMPIRE is your partner, Jatt Starr. You see, Jatt could’ve handled the Bergman Dilemma at ICONIC, but he couldn’t be bothered to participate in a one on one match up with the man. So instead of doing his fucking job and ending him once and for all at ICONIC I have to do his job for him. Hell, it was I who pinned him at ICONIC. 

 

Are you seeing a pattern?

 

I’m having to clean up the mess of the Final Alliance because the Final Alliance can’t get the fucking job done.

 

A great as Jatt Starr is he’d rather be partying and hanging out with his various gimmicks than do the one thing HE asks off.

 

Take out Joe Bergman.

 

That lasted a few weeks.

 

End him at ICONIC.

 

Can’t bossman, I’m too busy sipping martinis with Wabbid Wabbit to make it there.

 

You’re book and if you don’t show up you’re fired.

 

I’ll show up, but can’t promise anything.

 

Sigh.

 

Hey Jatt, have these politicians you have been stalking ratify these bills you want to make into laws?

 

No?

 

I wonder why? 

 

The reason why the EVIL EMPIRE has risen is because of you.

 

The things that happened to my son is because of you Jatt. You could’ve stopped this a long time ago, but your childish intellect wanted to string it along with Bergman like some fucking game. 

 

I don’t play games.

 

Playing games gets you smacked in the face with a steel chair where I smash people in the face with them.

 

The Jatt Starr that is talked about and feared is the same Jatt Starr that would’ve dusted off the War Jatt and turned Section 214 into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 

 

Tell me I’m wrong.

 

The Jatt Starr that was Undefeated Against Darkwing wouldn’t be doing the ridiculousness you are doing to avoid having a match with Joe Bergman. The Jatt Starr from the Golden Era would be wanting to step into the Golden Circle with Joe Bergman to prove that he being any kind of champion in HOW is a fluke and he must’ve caught the previous champion on a bad night.

 

But you aren’t about that now.

 

Hence why I have to do your job for you.

 

Take away the Hall of Fame status and the accomplishments we have earned and the difference between us is that when HE asks for something done I deliver. Chaos is the last bridge before it’s burned at March to Glory if you fail once again. Once that happens it won’t be Joe Bergman you’ll have to worry about.