It’s nighttime in the suburbs of Chicago. The glow from the city shines through here, some 15 miles from downtown. Cars rush past on the nearby road adjacent to the parking lot, street lights illuminating most of the area. Outpowering the white glow of the lamps however is the yellow, white, and red building with neon lights. The sign hanging above the building reads:
“Gene’s & Jude’s”
The parking lot is full of motorcycles, lowriders, sedans with Batman lights on the doors, and SUVs. However, sticking out like a sore thumb sits a long black stretch limousine. An older gentleman in a suit walks out of the Hot Dog stand with a couple of brown paper bags. You can see the grease soaking through each sack. The clicking of his dress shoes against the pavement stop suddenly when he reaches the back door of the stretch vehicle.
With a subtle knock on the window, it rolls down. That shit eating grin appears. Wearing sunglasses at this time of night (obvs), Mikey Unlikely looks like he took the time to put himself together this evening.
Without a word he thrusts his arms out, grabs both bags of deliciousness and pulls them into the vehicle. The window goes right back up as Mikey stares through the shades at the chauffeur. Just before it’s fully closed Unlikely slips out one line.
Mikey Unlikely: Let’s go get Jesse…
The chauffeur shuffles over and gets into the driver’s seat. He starts the car up and slowly pulls out of the parking lot onto the suburban roads. Inside the limo Mikey Unlikely stares through the window at the lights and sights that dot the River Grove area.
I hate it here…
I hate it in Chicago… I hate it in High Octane…
I hate it because nothing is going according to plan! We’ve got issues… real life issues. Jesse can’t stop, won’t stop partying. Murray can’t keep ahold of his aggression, going as far as getting into bar fights and Witherhold is, as always… playing Devil’s advocate.
Red lights flash as the Limousine is stopped at a set of railroad tracks. A freighter comes hauling through, blaring the horn loudly.
He thinks of telling the chauffeur to turn the music up. Drake of course…
Do we even deserve to listen to Drake?
Mikey looks to his wrist. “WWCPD?” stares back to him from the black rubber bracelet. What would Champagne Papi do? A great question for today’s circumstances. MIkey presses his forehead against the glass melancholy style to mull it over.
What would he do? The man who went from wheelchair to rap gawd. From Rihanna to Bernice Burgos.
Unlikely looks over to the mini fridge in the car. It has a clear door so you can see inside. Mikey had all of the liquor removed. All that sits in the fridge is Water Bottles and Oreo flavored ice cream.
You know what Drake wouldn’t do!? He wouldn’t sit here wallowing in his own self pity!
Mikey sits up a little straighter. Pulls his head off the window.
He wouldn’t ask himself what Drake would do…because Drake just DO!
Dammit snap out of it Mikey! So what? You lost a couple matches? So what? You lost the High Octane Tag Team Championships… twice? So what? The Hollywood Bruvs hit a couple stumbling blocks… Dammit we’re the best damn Sports Entertainment Entertainers in the world! Just like Drake is the best damn NON Sports Entertainment Entertainer in the world!
He smirks and sits up straight now in his seat. Head bobbing a little with the music that subtly fills the elongated vehicle.
We’ve created a legacy everywhere we’ve been and High Octane won’t be any different. We’re just going to have to do something we haven’t had to do in years…
He shudders at the thought.
I need to WORK on JFK, because if we can’t work together, the Bruvs are nothing.
I need to WORK on Murray, because my monster is unstable, and that’s dangerous.
I need to WORK on Witherhold, because if James Witherhold doesn’t trust you, he’ll burn you.
I need to WORK on Mikey, because…
*BZZT* The cell phone in his pocket lights up and vibrates. He slides it out and opens the text. It’s from his Hollywood agent.
“NEW COMMERCIAL DEAL DONE! YOU’RE THE NEW SPOKESPERSON FOR EQUATE SUNSCREEN!”
A confused look crosses the face of the unlikely one. We hear each click as Mikey types his response.
“I thought we were auditioning for Coppertone?”
The typing bubble pops up before a new message appears.
“COPPERTONE OUT, EQUATE IN. DO YOU WANT IT OR NO?”
He tosses the phone across the limo after hitting send.
Balancing all of this is impossible… Auditions, Signings, Wrestling, Public Appearances, Commercials. It’s getting to be a bit much.
The train passes and the car finally begins to move along once again. They pass a billboard that catches Mikey’s attention.
“BE DEPENDABLE – Fatherhood.gov”
He thinks on that for a few minutes…He ducks his head and moves to the front of the Limo and grabs the phone from the ground. He finds his original seat and opens up the text thread from before.
“I’m out on Equate… Not worth my time. I’ve got something bigger going on.”
The text bubble pops up from his agent again, but before he can respond Mikey slides the phone to OFF. Placing it back in his pocket not to disturb him again.
He smirks and sings along to the song.
“Started from the bottom now we’re here… Started from the bottom and the whole team fuckin here!”
I gotta be dependable…
He looks down at the two bags of food then back out the window, this time with a different attitude.
I love it here!
We cut to later in the same evening, the limo turns onto a long bridge, before it comes to a rest. The chauffeur gets out of the vehicle and moves to the back door. He opens and out steps, as expected, HOW’s biggest Hollywood star…(It’s not a high bar). Followed quickly behind him is a chewing Jesse Fredricks Kendrix.
Both men look well dressed and ready for an evening on the town. JFK takes the time to brush the crumbs off his clothing before taking a good look at his surroundings. He double takes when he realizes they are parked on a bridge.
Kendrix: Listen, yeah?! That hotdog was the best goddamn hotdog JFK has ever feasted upon. How’d you even find that place? It’s in the middle of nowhere!
With a nod his Bruv answers.
Mikey Unlikely: Perf turned me onto it, it’s a good little spot, thank god I didn’t have to actually go in…
Mikey needs to wipe the mustard off his own lip. Even the Hollywood Bruvs enjoy a good Chicago Dog.
Kendrix: Bruv, this is turning into the perfect evening. Hotdogs, Oreo Frappes, in a limo no less…and now you’ve taken me to a bridge which I can only assume will be full of strippees in about 5 minutes.
Jesse licks the remaining mustard and ketchup off of his fingers, followed by a wry smile across his face.
Kendrix: I should have given up drinking a long time ago…so many good things are happening to JFK right now!
Jesse takes an anxious check, tapping the hip flask he’s got hidden inside his jacket pocket. He quickly shifts his focus back to his tag team partner who’s staring right back at him.
He knows…dammit he knows. I wonder if he knows about the beer hidden inside the toilet?
Mikey Unlikely: Jesse, this is the party! This is it, It’s you and I and Charles…. Well Charles isn’t really invited to the party, he’s just here by default!
Kendrix: The driver’s name is Charles? I’ve been calling him Bartholemew for the last four years!
The American Bruv walks his English brethren to the side of the bridge. They stand overlooking the famous Chicago River.
Mikey Unlikely: Look at it Jesse, a rushing river, moving all the time, never stopping for anyone or anything. Nothing slows it down, nothing gets in it’s way. It just keeps moving.
JFK looks at Mikey side eyed and squinting.
Kendrix: Are you OK Bruv? Are you going to kill me? You’re talking really weird. I know we’ve lost two matches on the spin but this is a bit much.
Unlikely chuckles under his breath and shakes his head.
Mikey Unlikely: Nothing like that, we just need to rethink how we’ve been doing things, and focus on being better!
JFK throws his arms in the sky.
Kendrix: But there’s no one better than the Hollywood Bruvs, Obvs….
Jesse’s eyes widen excitedly, waiting for the now classic response from his Bruver who doesn’t look interested in the slightest.
Kendrix rolls his wrist, hand out flat, trying to help his tag partner with his response.
Kendrix: Totally obvs…
Mikey turns his attention back out towards the river. Jesse holds his hand to his head and slicks his hair back, holding his top knot tight in frustration.
Holy shit, what’s going on…he’s really going to try to kill me isn’t he?
The Chauffeur goes to the back of the Limo and opens the trunk. He grabs a large cardboard case and brings it over to Mikey. He sets it on the edge of the bridge resting on the metal framework. The familiar sound of clinking bottles makes its way to JFK’s ears.
Kendrix: Alright! Now we’re talking! Let’s get the party going!
With a smile Mikey Unlikely opens the case of beers. He pulls one out, and JFK reaches for it. Unlikely pulls the bottle back out of his reach.
Mikey Unlikely: That’s not why we’re here. Tonight Jesse the party isn’t a party at all. It’s a jumping off point…
Kendrix looks down at the water below.
I’m not jumping off shit!
Kendrix: Bruv, I know you know that my last ever meal before I die scenario is beer…but you don’t have to kill me…I promise…no more beer, okay?
Mikey Unlikely: It’s a jumping off point to a new era for the Hollywood Bruvs. We’re going to have a new focus, new priorities, and a new outlook.
He twists the cap off the very popular American light beer. He holds it out over the river, and turns the bottle over. The contents come pouring out first in liquid form, shortly thereafter in foam form. The beer falls to the river below to be washed away.
Kendrix stands with his mouth agape in disbelief.
Kendrix: What? Noooooooo!
Mikey puts the empty bottle back in the box and pulls out another one. He reaches it out towards Jesse.
Mikey Unlikely: Your turn! We’re doing this Jesse… we’re going to become the best damn tag team we’ve ever been! We’re going to focus on getting better, being sharper, and being more successful. Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done it well…until now! We can’t flail here in High Octane any longer. It’s time to put the doubt to rest. DO IT. Be like Drake and just DO!
Jesse shakes his head defiantly.
Kendrix: Nuh, uh! I can’t. I’m not as strong as Drake. He started from the bottom and now he’s here.
JFK puts his hand way above his head.
Kendrix: I joined Dynasty, the most dominant force in the business at the time like a whole week into my career. I’ve basically had a silver spoon in my mouth my whole career, bruv! It tastes good!
Mikey nods in understanding.
Mikey Unlikely: It’s time Bruv…. It’s time… we can do it together!
Unlikely spins the top on the bottle and off it comes. He slides the lid into the box, before holding out the bottle to Kendrix once again. JFK grabs it but before Mikey lets go, he feels Kendrix pull it towards his mouth. The two of them both start pulling on the bottle, fighting over it.
Mikey Unlikely: NOOOOO! YOU PUT THAT DOWN!
JFK throws a foot but misses Mikey
Kendrix: GIVE IT TO ME! JUST A SIP BRUV!
Finally Mikey pulls it free.
Mikey Unlikely: NO! DAMMIT JESSE!
Kendrix: It’s just such a waste. There’s people starving in the world, which I hate. I’ve always said that!
Even Hollywood’s favorite C Lister can’t argue that point.
Mikey Unlikely: Yea, you have always said that, but I said it first!
Now Mikey holds the beer out over the water again.
Mikey Unlikely: All you need to do is give it a little push. You can do it Bruv!
Jesse looks out at the river, then at the beer in Mikey’s hand. He holds his head in his hands. He knows it’s time. He grabs the beer from Mikey, who nods on encouragingly at his tag partner.
Kendrix: I can’t believe I’m gonna do this…it would be easier if it was lousy beer.
His hand outstretched over the bridge, Jesse closes his eyes, grits his teeth and puts his hand on Mikey’s. Together they turn the bottle over and the beer spills into the river.
Mikey Unlikely: Yes Bruv! You did it! I’m so proud of you. This is your first step on the road to recovery my friend.
Jesse wipes the tears from his eyes.
I can’t believe I just did that…fucking wow.
Mikey Unlikely: Okay, now you just need to do the same with the rest of the bottles…and don’t think I don’t know about that hip flask in your jacket pocket. That’s going into the river too.
Jesse buries his head in his hands once again. His bruv pats him on the back, he knows How hard this is for his troubled bruv. The hard work starts now.
We cut a bit later in the evening, The Bruvs are still standing on the Bridge, the box of beers is empty, it appears they’ve all reached the water, and only the empties remain. Even JFKs flask sits on its side wide open with nothing left inside.
Kendrix: I did it. Every last drop gone.
Mikey slaps his friend on the back with a hearty laugh.
Mikey Unlikely: Bruv I knew you had it in you! I knew WE could get through this. It’s a long road ahead but I guess by now you know…. I’m not here to kill you!
The two finally share a laugh about it JFK lets out a held breath and can finally relax.
Kendrix: Mikey, I have to know, This means the Bruvs are back, right!? This is like some kind of symbolic thing? Now that we’ve done this, our losing streak will finally come to an end!
His head bounces up and down.
Mikey Unlikely: We’s not just back Jesse, we’re better than ever. This is an opportunity and we can’t let it go to waste. We have the greatest tag team in the world… US! OBVS!
Kendrix: Totally Obvs!
Mikey Unlikely: … and now we have our toughest match yet in DEFIANCE. We have our biggest challenge. We have the BEST opportunity to bounce right back. Remember when we got here and we said we were going to take down the Industry and The Empire. Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy are right in the middle of that and now the G.O.D. We’ve got our first straight shot at the Group. The HOLLYWOOD Fucking BRUVS vs Dan Ryan and Troy! No stips, Plenty of bullshit I’m sure, however. We have to have our game face on!
JFK furrows his brow.
Kendrix: Don’t you mean our faces?
Mikey holds out a hand.
Mikey Unlikely: THE HOLLYWOOD BRUVS SHARE ONE BEAUTIFUL METAPHORICAL FACE DAMMIT!
Kendrix: Our face is so great!
The Bruv continues on…
Mikey Unlikely: Ryan and Troy are smart, they are cunning, and holy fuck are they good in the ring! Bruv everything I’ve learned about ring awareness is from watching Dan Ryan matches back in the day! That guy has a sixth sense about him in that he can FEEL his surroundings, KNOWS where the ropes are, and POSITIONS himself to keep himself safe.
Kendrix: Yeah but I don’t like how he supposedly busts egos. We have huge egos…why would he want to bust them? Just leave the egos out of this, jeez.
They shrug simultaneously.
Mikey Unlikely: My ego doesn’t need busting! I’ve already had a bubble burst recently!
He makes a motion as if he’s holding a round object, then lifts his arms up as it bursts.
Kendrix: Dan Ryan is one of the most experienced wrestlers in the world, very dangerous, even over in the UK you knew about him growing up. I remember staying up late as a bright eyed handsome young bruv watching on our stolen cable from our neighbors. And wherever he’s been, Troy hasn’t been far behind. Are they joined by the hip or something?
Mikey Unlikely: Yea man pretty much! They’ve constantly been around each other for over a decade. They are Brother and Sister in law. I mean it’s like Olive Garden, when they’re here, they’re family! It’s crazy!
Jesse tries to figure out what garden of olives Mikey speaks of but decides not to jump down that rabbit hole.
Kendrix: Well, Ryan and Troy may be family…but you and me, we’re Bruvs. Hollywood Bruvs! And those two fossils made the biggest mistake of their lives last week when they spilled our Frappes! Rule number one, never spill a bruvs Frappe. Everyone knows that. To be honest, Mikey, JFK is super grateful for everything you’ve done to get me off my unhealthy alcohol addiction…but to be honest, what Ryan and Troy did to us last week is all the motivation JFK needs to get his head back in the game and get the bruvs back on the Tag Team title trail where we belong.
Mikey Unlikely: You know what they say Bruv?… Frapps are thicker than Blood! ESPECIALLY when you add OREOS!
Kendrix: I mean, Ryan betrayed your takeover of DEFIANCE. That was kind of annoying, I guess. But in a way, I can kind of respect it. Troy is no angel herself. She showed her true colours to the Industry when 24K came along…Just like in DEFIANCE when she left high and dry after the Bruvs began our takeover! Unbelievable in ring performer, but super flakey. You know me, bruv. I hate Flakey People…but not as much as I hate people who force me to knock the flakes out of my Oreo Special Frappes all over their face!
His Bruvs agrees.
Mikey Unlikely: I know! I would never flake on anything! Really annoying for sure! Here I am, trying to capitalize on a down period in the business by buying low and selling high, and changing everything to fit what I love, and what’s Ryan do? Flies by his own agenda! UN.BE.LIE.VA.BLE!
Kendrix: Did you just assume my agenda?
They share another laugh. They sit against the bridge now. Not on the ground, that would be gross. Mikey makes Charles get on all fours so they can sit on his back.
Mikey Unlikely: It was great watching them Wrestle as we were coming up though, Really good matches, great stories, great television! These days though, it’s a snoozefest. There’s no money in them anymore. It’s the Hollywood Bruvs who make great television! Back when we were the rookies in the game, they were in their prime, and man we would have gotten SMOKED back then.
A sly smile from the English Bruv.
Kendrix: But now…
Mikey Unlikely: But now… now we’re in OUR Prime Jesse… We’re in OUR era! That’s why Ryan and Troy pissed us off last week. It’s their desperate attempt to appear relevant once again. We’re not legends yet…and don’t get me wrong, people LOVE Legends! Man when they come back after a long period off, people go nuts for that shit! It’s incredible. I love it too! Man when Doozer popped up back here in High Octane… well ok, no one cared about that, but BOBBY DEAN THOUGH! Awesome!
JFK crosses one leg over the other, putting extra strain on the Chauffeur’s back.
Kendrix: We’re not legends yet because I took my eye off the ball, bruv. I’ve let the Hollywood lifestyle go to my head. I’ve been partying too hard, kinda just got used to the lifestyle. Even though you took the falls recently, I should have had your back. Tonight was the first step. You’re right, these are our prime years and I’m not going to waste them any longer…
He stands up off of Charles as the chauffeur reaches for his lower back, letting out a sigh of relief.
Kendrix: And at Refuelled, the next step sees us get back to winning ways against two of the most experienced legends in the game in order to begin the Hollywood Bruvs’ very own road toward legendary status.
The pair stand up and look at each other. Charles struggles to his feet without aid.
Mikey Unlikely: Bruv, we got this… Today 24k! hits the reset button. We have half of the tag gold, we will right the wrong from Lethal Lottery. At Refuelled we prove to the world once again we are the best damn tag team in the game, and we’ve got nowhere to go but up!
They walk back to the Limo as the scene fades out.