Bruvback Mountains

Bruvback Mountains

Posted on June 17, 2020 at 7:33 pm by Jesse Kendrix

There it is, Mike Best’s knee to the skull, in slow mo, the sweat escaping Jesse Fredericks Kendrix’s beautiful temple. The eyes start to roll back but just before the lights go out, it hits him right there and then.

It’s that, “You’re probably wondering how I got myself into this situation?” type of situation. That moment of realisation, just before the shit hits the fan, that you see everything for what it is…you fucked up…you fucked up big time.

Listen, yeah?! JFK knows it’s a team game. No matter if you’re the new kids on the block or the goddamn Greatest Tag Team on the face of the planet…the basics stay the same. You win as a team and you lose as a team.

Mikey Unlikely: Bruv, what are you doing. That better not be what I think it is.

Jesse slams the base of the bottle in his hand upon the kitchen counter, his back remaining turned away from his Bestest Bruv in the whole world.

Mikey, that beautiful bastard. The man behind getting 24K together in the first place. The genius behind the greatest debut in the history of the business. The saviour of Jesse Fredericks Kendrix’s addiction.

Kendrix: What’s it look like, Bruv?

Mikey’s eyes widen as Jesse turns to face him proudly and defiantly presenting a gorgeous looking bottle of beer.

Yeah, how’d you like that, huh, Mikey? JFK back on the sweet, sweet Alkay! Just how he likes it.

Mikey Unlikely: Unbelievable. After all the late night Bruv talks, the AA meetings…

Jesse throws his hand down, dismissing Mikey as he turns his back to him once more and takes a swig of the good stuff. However, it only serves to infuriate his tag team partner further.

Mikey Unlikely: Right, that’s it. No more Mr Nice Bruv. Gimme that!

Jesse cradles the bottle to his shoulder, as if it was his first born getting ready for some burping time. Unfortunately for him, Mikey doesn’t care for his first born as much as he does. The Hollywood C lister grabs the bottle but Jesse holds on tight.

Tug of War ensues. The bottle, like so many women before it, being fought over between two Hollywood Bruvs. 

Kendrix: Let go! You’re spilling it on our newly fitted kitchen tiles.

Mikey Unlikely: Don’t pretend you finally care about the kitchen tiles now. You didn’t care when I asked if you wanted Marble or Calcutta Gold! You just care about that beer because you’ve fallen off the wagon.


Time stands still once more as Jesse’s cheek momentarily squishes closer together with his other one while his tongue almost falls out of his mouth. As the rash begins to appear Jesse’s eyes open, portraying that look of realisation once more. It was at that moment that Kendrix had finally had the sense knocked into him…actually, Fuck that!

Kendrix: OH HELL NO!

While Jesse was in slow mo land again, Mikey had made his way over to the kitchen sink and emptied the bottle of it’s wonderful contents in real life time. In fact he had so much real life time to spare while Jesse’ was in thoughtful narrative mode, he’d managed to empty two further bottles of the good stuff he found in the fridge.


All hell has broken loose in the Hollywood Bruvs’ manly man cave. It seems like an overly dramatic statement to make but it is indeed an official dramatic statement. We know this because the bruvs installed an “All hell has broken loose” alarm system into the cave that has been triggered by the hell that has broken loose.

Sexy Calming Female Voice Alarm System: All hell has broken loose in the manly man cave, All hell has broken loose in the manly man cave, All hell has broken loose in the manly man cave…


Jesse surveys his attire for the evening before raising his disgruntled yet beautiful face up at his Bruv and shoves him in the chest. Unlikely does what any other manly man would do after being shoved a second time by his bestest friend in the world. He shoves him right back! Jesse’s face is one of pure disdain.

Kendrix: Right, you know what? You threw my beer away. I’m taking your favourite song off the Hollywood Bruvs manly man cave playlist.

Mikey shakes his head in pure fear and holds his hands out at his Bruv.

Mikey Unlikely: Jesse…calm down…I know you’re upset about taking the fall to Mike Best but it’s not your fault. OK?Just please…put the iPod nano down. 

JFK stares at the tiny nano in his hand and then back out at his desperate, pleading bruv. That shit eating grin on show as he rotates his index finger around the controls to locate the threatened track.

Oh it’s a hundred percent my fault Mikey. Sure, the greatest tag team in the world lost to two of the greatest, if not the greatest performers in High Octane Wrestling history…but it was because I fucked up big time. Going sober in the long term is going to be the best thing for Jesse Fredericks Kendrix. But short term…it cost the Bruvs our winning streak.

Kendrix: Here it is…

Jesse looks up at Mikey, both his hands are out in flat in front of him, desperation in his eyes.

We win and lose as a team…but I fucked up because I stopped drinking. Because JFK had to go and fucking behave himself. Problem is, the sober Kendrix is even more of a fucking dickhead then the party one. The last month has just made me remember what a fucking cunt I really am when I’m off the booze. I mean, how could my ego be so big as to stop,  stare and laugh in the middle of the ring while two of the most dangerous opponents we’ve ever faced have a fake argument and dupe me?

Mikey Unlikely: Bruv, c’mon man, you’re scaring me now. I’m sorry about the beer.

The party Kendrix wouldn’t have dawdled, he wouldn’t have paused for a fucking second because he would have got the damn win as quickly as possible so he could get the hell out of the arena and into the strippees ASAP! Bless him, Mikey wanted the real Kendrix all along to make sure the Bruvs take the tag team titles at War Games? He never knew he already had him.

Kendrix: Bye Bye, Katy Perry’s “ROAR”! 




We’re outside the Windy City now, away from all the hustle and bustle. Away from the city lights, the mass amounts of humans walking, driving, and commuting to and from their workplace, shopping centers, and homes. 

Now I know what you’re thinking. No we’re not in the ‘Burbs either. This isn’t even suburban America, this is much much deeper than that…this is nature! 

The first thing we see is the forest. BAM! Trees everywhere! As well as other forest things like shrubbery, mud, and probably some leaves. We’re placed directly in the center of a cleared out path, known to experts as a “Trail”.

The sun is shining between the trees, letting in giant rays of light signalling it’s roughly midday. 

Finally we get some action.

“Yea I mean I basically grew up outside as a kid! Climbing trees, playing sports, riding my bike until the sun went down…I was BORN for this stuff! Call me “Mikey Dundee!” I could totally play that guy in a movie… “That’s not a frapp…. THIS IS A FRAPP!” 

Mikey does the famous knife scene in a terrible Australian accent. Almost like an Englishman moving to Australia would, he of course replaces the knife with his favorite frosty beverage. 

“I mean you’ve heard of Mother Nature, but have you heard of Bruv’r Nature? That’s what they called me! “ 

As the pair walk into the scene, they are…as always…side by side. Trying to fit all four of their feet onto the path before them. Mikey is wearing a pair of long khaki carpenter pants and a flannel shirt. His aviators shine off the sunlight when they meet. Meanwhile JFK is wearing wrap-around sunglasses that fit over his head, as well as a pair of cargo shorts, a tank top, and a camelbak water system. 

“I mean I climbed so many mountains, they used to call me the Mountain Goat! Cause I’m the greatest of all time! OBVS!”

Kendrix slaps his Bruv in the back. 


Jesse looks cautiously around him in what is, quite frankly, unfamiliar surroundings for the born and raised Londoner.

Kendrix: Bruv, I’m not sure about this. And when I say, I’m not sure…I’m a hundred percent sure that nature sucks major balls. I mean, it’s clearly missing the beauty of capitalist consumerism. Where on earth are the skyscrapers, the shopping malls and more importantly, the Starbuckses on every corner offering Oreo Frappe temptations?

His Bruv from another Muv reassures him, slipping his hands into one of his many pockets. 

Mikey Unlikely: I got these freeze dried frappes for the woods! 

Kendrix looks at the bag of freeze dried liquid, then back at Mikey unamused. He slaps it out of Mikey’s hand and onto the ground. 

Kendrix: That’s not a Frapp and I’m offended you’d even call it that! Here we are in the wilderness, basically starving to death and you’re going to offer me Space Frapps! Not today sir! 

Mikey Unlikely: Starving? Bruv, we just got here fifteen minutes ago! 

JFK rubs his belly. 

Kendrix: Aye, Skipped breakfast this morning, too nervous about the camping trip! I mean, I’ve never spent more than a couple hours outside at any given time. Also I’m pretty sure I watched a doc on the tellie, and they mentioned BEARS live in the woods! Actual BEARS! They must be the Chicago Bears! 

Unlikely nods and brushes right past the bears comment. 

Mikey Unlikely: This is going to be great, stop being a baby! The great outdoors! I think we’re almost to our camping spot. 

They pair continue deeper into the brush. Kendrix slaps at a bug that lands on his leg. He’s growing ever more frustrated by the lack of cleanliness and shops. 

Kendrix: So where are we sleeping? Do we just sleep on the floor? 

The Hollywood Actor points forward and urges Kendrix on. 

Mikey Unlikely: Bruv, it’s not much farther, trust me you’re going to love it! Also, out here it’s called “The Ground”. 

A concept the Brit can get behind. 

Kendrix: Ah like the London Underground? I don’t ever go down there! Dirty, dirty, dirty! 

Mikey Unlikely: The Trains? 

Kendrix: Nah Bruv, the PEOPLE! Dirty bastards touching everything, never using wipes or hand sani! 

Even thinking about it JFK shutters and pulls out a disposable pack of Hand Sani. He squeezes it in his hand and rubs them together vigorously. 

Mikey Unlikely: Speaking of people… let’s talk about War Games! I mean that’s why we’re here. Training like soldiers, living like soldiers, dying like soldiers if that’s what it takes. 

Kendrix: Listen Yeah!? I’m not trying to die! That doesn’t sound fun at all! 

Mikey Unlikely: You know what I mean! Preparing for war! We’re going to be so READY after this bruvtastic camping trip. We’re going to be ready for this match too! We’re going to be ready to face all these tag teams in one epic clash. Now I’m the first to admit, our record when it comes to these “out of sorts” matches is not great… mainly because I have a hard time getting up after being smashed in the skull with a weapon… but who doesn’t? 

JFK goes to raise his hand, but realizes it’s a rhetorical question and stops himself. 

Mikey Unlikely: I mean even if it’s HATE throwing the weapons around, it gets a little messy regardless! Speaking of HATE, at least we know which two we’re facing now! 

JFK Nods and snickers. 

Kendrix: Well yeah, All the other members are in the bin! Speaking of the bin, there’s a jailhouse event in HOW? I can’t go to jail Mikey! I’m too beautiful for prison! 

Mikey looks to his watch for both the time and the direction he’s headed. Clearly a seasoned outdoor veteran. He’s got his compass for good measure. After checking the direction, he lines it up with the path and keeps going. 

Mikey Unlikely: Scott Woodson, the COO of High Octane Wrestling, is going to be one of them. RRRIIICCCCKKK is the other one! 

Unlikely stops and waits for the scared birds to fly away and the echo of RICK to die out. 

Mikey Unlikely: It’s a group that has been a hot garbage fire since we got here. No cohesion, no shared vision, no plan in place! They just keep flying by the seat of their pants. Grabbing wrestlers as they go… and it’s not even like they’re getting good ones. It’s almost like a game of “Who will I pass in the hallway today!?” Amatuer hour. If there’s one thing you and I know about Bruv… it’s STABLE WARFARE! We’ve been flanked by other dudes our whole career! 

A good point draws a thoughtful nod from his fellow Bruv. 

Kendrix: First you were in WTFC. Then we shook hands and formed Dynasty! 

Mikey Unlikely: That’s right bruv! After WE killed Dynasty and moved on, we quickly started the Sports Entertainment Guild… 

A look of remembrance. 

Kendrix: Oh yea! The acting wannabe goons and the guy with the box on his head. What the hell was his name? 

Fortunately his tag team partner remembers everything. 

Mikey Unlikely: Pretty sure it was Schein… or Calvin… or something. 

JFK snaps his fingers. 

Kendrix: Calvin! That was it! What a goof! 

Mikey Unlikely: And after all that… here we are… having formed the single most dominant group HOW will have ever seen by the time we’re finished. 24K! ALL DAY! 

Kendrix lets out a loud howl of excitement. Now he’s getting into his inner wilderness animal. 

Mikey Unlikely: But we’ve got HATE in there and they are going to be looking for revenge Bruv! 


Kendrix: Oh yea! We beat HATE a few weeks ago… It was even one of these guys in the match! 

In Unison. 

Mikey and Kendrix: RRRIIICCCCKKKK

They crack up laughing. 

Mikey Unlikely: It’s too easy with these guys. There’s no team. There’s just Scottywood grasping at paper straws, trying to form his own supergroup before he gets lost in the shuffle that is High Octane. He saw 24K come in. He saw the eMpire, and the Industry and the effect they were having here. He wanted that! He wanted the opportunity we were getting… and see where it got him? 

Kendrix: Well Bruv… it got him into War Games! 

Not so sure look from his American counterpart. 

Mikey Unlikely: Did it though? The last thing I saw from Scottywood was he was BUYING his way into the match. Giving up some ownership, giving up some LEVERAGE. So here’s a guy who scrambled to form a group of guys to compete, found his magic men, one of them died… one was sent to prison… and the other one suddenly became a mute… WHAT THE FUCK!? So even after all that… they weren’t good enough to be in the match. So Scottywood does what he has to do and sells some shares to get in. It’s EGREGIOUS that he’s even in this match with us. Egregious that RRRIIICCCKKK gets his rematch with the Bruvs, and honestly just damn wrong that these fools who we’ve beat at every corner… including March To Glory when we didn’t even allow those fucks to get into the ring with us…now have another shot at GOLD!  We’ve beat ’em twice, and it’s about to be thrice… they just don’t know it yet! 

Kendrix fist pumps in excitement. He’s ready to beat HATE… ugh he hates HATE! He says it all the time! 

Kendrix: You’re not wrong… I mean even on ReFueled Scottywood talked about how the High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Championships are the first part of his plan to take over HOW. The first part? The World Tag Team Championships? Bruv, these are the TOP TITLES in High Octane and maybe in all of the wrestling! The Tag Team Champions are the best damn tag team the sport has, and it’s just a PART of his plan? Bruv my entire plan is to hold these championships, cement our legacy, and fuck bitches! 

Mikey Unlikely: You’re right! These championships… they mean EVERYTHING to me! EVERYTHING To you! I don’t know about you Bruv, but I didn’t come to High Octane to be a World Champion… I came here to be the best damn tag team that wrestling has ever seen, and bring a new meaning to being the Tag Team Champions! This should be the most prestigious opportunity HATE has ever had, instead it’s “just another match” to them on their way to “preschool domination”. 

Finally the duo reach the area they were looking for. Mikey Unlikely shoots his arms out wide after finding the large clearing. 

Mikey Unlikely: Here it is Bruv! The camping spot! 

As the camera comes through the brush we’re greeted to an enormous finished area. Instead of the ground, it’s covered with soft wood chips, there’s an enormous recreational vehicle in the lot. The first is already going and has a gas set up so they don’t actually have to burn any wood. JFK can’t seem to get his head around the idea anyway. 

Kendrix: I don’t know Bruv, pretty primitive if you ask me! Is that Television over there only 55 inches? 

A harumph comes from the American who begins to show Jay Eff Kay around the campground. 

MIkey Unlikely: Oh yea! Over here we got the 55” television with an Xbox and a Firestick for all our watching pleasures. In the RV we got two bedrooms with king size beds and a standing shower. We’ve got full electrical power, and quite a few toys to play with. 

He disappears inside the recreational vehicle only to come out with giant metal marshmallow sticks. Jesse’s face lights up.

Kendrix: Alright, now we’re talking! Finally something to love about camping! This definitely makes up for the lack of strippee pole and strippees in our camp site.

Unlikely assures his Bruv it’s nothing to worry about. 

Mikey Unlikely: Oh they’ll be here! Hiking strippees! 

JFK scratches the hairs on his chinny chin chin. 

Kendrix: What’s a hiking strippee? 

One finger pops up on Mikey’s hand. 

Mikey Unlikely: Means they’re extra fit mate! Not going to show up looking like Bobby Dean  with his floppy tits! 

The two laugh loudly. 

Mikey Unlikely: I’m proud of the guy for losing all that weight. honestly, we have a long history together, but flabby is NOT a good look! I know so many doctors who could help him out in Los Angeles. 

Jesse holds his hands out flat beside his head.

Kendrix: Credit where credit is due. It seems that, for the first time in his miserable existence, Bobby Dean has shown dedication, commitment to getting to a respectable level of fatness and, most importantly, the big man has finally shown some respect for himself. 

A shake of the head from his tag team partner. Who is now placing giant white marshmallows onto the sticks. 

Mikey Unlikely: Nah… that’s not true either Bruv! He was comatose. He didn’t work for shit! Like 99.9% of his career, Bobby Dean used someone else to get to where he had to go. It’s kinda his thing! Like you mentioned earlier we were in WTFC together… you know why? Because he saw me coming up! He saw me on the rise and hitched his wagon to my train! 

Jesse thinks about that one. 

Kendrix: I don’t think wagons hook up to trains, Mikey. 

Mikey Unlikely: Of course they do! Haven’t you ever heard of a Wagon Coupler? 

JFK has to admit he hasn’t. 

Kendrix: America is a crazy place! But whatever way he did it, Bobby is in the form of his life right now. Everybody loves that guy…except the Hollywood Bruvs, am I right?!

Air High Five…despite standing right next to each other.

Mikey Unlikely: You’re soooooooo right! So Bobby Dean is being carried by Doozer and Cancer Jiles now! Just like he was a long time ago. The guy likes familiarity. 

Jesse shakes his head in disbelief.

Kendrix: Bloody eGG Bandits… I mean, out of all the kind of bandits in the world to be…they actually chose to be bandits of eggs.

Mikey rolls his eyes at the very thought. EGGS! 

Kendrix: Stealing from chickens. What kind of world do we live in where people cheer for a bunch of morons who steal eggs from chickens when they could just buy them for a very reasonable price from the many supermarkets in non-nature land? Foghorn Leghorn wants a word with you lads!

Unlikely wonders what’s more cowardly than stealing from a chicken but has a hard time finding an answer. 

Mikey Unlikely: Not only do they kill baby chickens, but they could be helping their local economy and chicken farmers by buying them the old fashioned way. By sending their maid Helga to get them, so you don’t have to take off your Hollywood Bruv Pajamas. Everyone knows that! 

He moves over to the “fire pit” and cranks up the gas. The fire gets much larger. Mikey places the marshmallows close so that they brown but don’t catch. 

Mikey Unlikely: I mean let’s face it. Bobby Dean is a hanger on, he’s not a real teammate. The eGG Bandits chose him because let’s be honest… they don’t want to face the Hollywood Bruvs! Why would you? Short of last week, we’ve been virtually unstoppable! Somehow the eGG Bastards decided to pick the comatose formerly fat cryptkeeper and the newest member of the group Zeb Martin. 

He flips the mallows as laughs. 

Kendrix: It makes sense that Doozer and Cancer wouldn’t want to face us, aren’t they like 80 years old now? We would make quick work of them! 

His Bruv corrects him. 

Mikey Unlikely: 85 actually! It’s incredible, and yet the people still go crazy for them. I guess I would too if my favorite childhood clown made a comeback! Let’s be frank though… 

Jesse shakes his head. 

Kendrix: I’ll just be JFK. 

Mikey Unlikely: Zeb Martin is going to be a great wrestler in High Octane! He’s got the skill and the mental wherewithal to get it done… as far as intelligence goes however… He’s a couple Oreo’s short of a Frapp! When we get in there, we lean on our experience because honestly they don’t have any together. 

Mikey pulls the two Mallows out of the fire and grabs a nearby box of graham crackers. He opens the box and grabs one out. Carefully Unlikely breaks the cracker in half and places a marshmallow on it. 

Kendrix: Wait a minute, I’m confused. Does the “games” in War games mean that literally anyone can play! Because it seems to me that one team has bought their way in with one victory and somehow the eGG Fuckers made it into War Games with only ONE win AND SIX LOSSES! 

Mikey shoots Jesse a look. 

Kendrix: Maybe the Bandits also bought their way in. Maybe they promised Lee a lifetime supply of eggs that they stole?

A shake of the head. 

Mikey Unlikely: No one likes eggs that much! Not even me! AND I LOVE EGGS! I’ve always said that. 

Kendrix: Yeah, but I said it first. 

A punch to the shoulder. Then Mikey goes back to his tasty treat he’s concocting. He grabs a big chocolate bar and rips it open. 

Mikey Unlikely: Got me there! Thanks “Uncle Lee!” He’s setting us up for Victory Bruv! This match is ALMOST a gimme! The eGG Bitches don’t win anything, HATE is basically just HA now. Then we have our other Bruv! 

Jesse looks adoringly at the picture frame of 24K hanging up inside the Bruvs huge mansion RV.

Kendrix: Ahhhh, Murray. Just look at how great his hair is. I wish mine would look that good when I’m his age…which incidentally has remained consistent to his actual date of birth…unlike a certain Mr Ryan, first name Daniel.

Jesse over exaggeratingly winks toward his tag team partner who concurs. 

Mikey Unlikely: His age changes with the wind but I will say we are all very sexy manly men! That much is OBVS! You don’t get into 24K looking like Joe Bergman that’s for sure! 

Kendrix: Totally Obvs! 

Mikey now slides one of the Smores over to Jesse, and keeps one for himself. 

Mikey Unlikely: But yes, the time has finally come… we have to do it Jesse, we can no longer be the Bruvs we want to be. We have to make a small change, we have to take a small step, and we HAVE to beat one of our best bruvs! TWICE now we’ve been duped or surprised or forced into a situation where we had to face our own partner, with NO NOTICE! Not this time… 

A solemn nod of agreeability. 

Kendrix: We have to beat Murray…

Mikey Unlikely: The Hollywood Bruvs have three losses in High Octane. Two of them are Andy Murray, and the other one happened last week. Sentiment has to go out of the window now. Did Murr show us any sentiment in our matches? Did he let tagging with Bergman, a man desperate to be let into the 24K club, hold him back? Nah uh!

Kendrix: Ugh, that Bergman really is cramping Andy’s style. He can’t stop talking about Perfection and he’s walking around wearing Gold that should belong to The Hollywood Bruvs! But despite it all, this is the very reason why we brought Murrphisto in. That guy is ruthless, no matter what situation is put before him and we’ve learned that the hard way. He’s the consummate professional. He’s won every single match he’s been involved in…and The Bruvs are learning from the very best this business has to offer.  

They gluefist with their Smores in hand. Jesse goes to eat his but Mikey stops him. 

Mikey Unlikely: Murray is the best singles wrestler in High Octane. He’s right up there with the two we faced last week. There’s a TON of competition in this years War Games, both our match and the match with all of the OTHER championships! Which is exactly why we have the advantage. Because the World Tag Team Champion has TWO matches to worry about. We only have one! 

Kendrix: Murr…we love you man but you didn’t really come here for the Tag Team Titles did you? You didn’t really come here to be teamed up with a guy that quite simply doesn’t have your back. You know one hundred percent, without a shadow of a doubt that the Bruvs have your back. We all know what you’re here for…and you’re so so very close to getting it. 

He holds two fingers up at the camera. On his non-smores hand. Mikey disappears into the RV.

Kendrix: Despite the knee, despite the years…the whole world knows that if any man can go to war twice in one night and win both times…it can only be you who can do it. But it’s a huge risk to go all out in both matches in order to get what you really want at the end of the night.

Unlikely comes out of the RV with a large blender and a big tub of ice cream and coffee. He slaps it all up on a counter and plugs the blender in the the extension cord. JFK finally sees what’s happening and gets excited. 

Mikey Unlikely: Just think about it. He’s going to have to beat HATE, he’s going to have to beat the eGG Bandits, he’s going to have to beat the Hollywood Bruvs! THEN AFTER THAT he’s going to have to face the entirety of G.o.D. so he’s going to use every single bit of LIFE he has in both matches… here’s what people don’t get… 

They both dump their smores into the blender. Mikey dumps in the ice cream and coffee… 

Kendrix: You could risk it all Murr. And for what? So you get to tag team some more with a man who quite simply doesn’t respect you? With a man who should be down on his knees and kissing the ground you walk upon…a man who should wind his neck in, know his place and follow your lead. Instead he disrespects you and everything you stand for.

Mikey Unlikely: Murrrphisto you have two matches. We have one, and I hate to tell you but you’re going to have to KILL THE HOLLYWOOD FUCKING BRUVS, TO EVEN HAVE A SHOT AT RETAINING YOUR TAG TEAM TITLES! This is what we came for Joe, This is what we’re here for Andy. Those titles are the last checkmark on a career destined for the Hall of Fame. They are the last mountain for the Hollywood Bruvs to climb, The Tag Team Championships were made for the world’s greatest tag team. Is that Andy Murray and Joe Bergman? PLEASE! When it comes down to it… you’re going to have to give up EVERYTHING else if you want to beat the Bruvs…quite frankly Murray, I don’t think you care enough about Joe Bergman to do it. I don’t think you care enough about the Championships to do it. I think you have other priorities. In fact… I’m betting on it. 

The blender whirrs to life and Mikey motions for Kendrix to hold it. He runs back in the camper coming out with two large glasses. Once the blender finishes, they pour the Frapps in the glass and do what Bruvs do! 

Mikey’s eyes light up excitedly upon hearing Katy Perry’s “ROAR” fill the campsite via the Xbox.

Mikey Unlikely: You put my favourite song back on the Hollywood Bruvs Manly Man Cave Playlist?!

Jesse holds his arms out wide by his side, Xbox controller in hand.

Kendrix: Bring it in, Bruv.