Blonde Blow-Hard

Blonde Blow-Hard

Posted on July 6, 2021 at 4:34 am by John Sektor

Hello Mr Starr. I’d like to say it was an honor to meet you, but I’d be lying. 


My name is Adam Ellis. You can call that boring if you want, I haven’t earned my ring name yet. Unlike your pet rabbit who throws on a bunny costume like he’s out of Donnie Darko, or some shit, in a bid to gain instant attraction. I might be green Mr Starr. I might be a rookie. But one thing I’ve learned pretty quick in this industry is that it takes more than a cheap costume and stupid fucking name to get over. 


It seems you’re making this personal. I can’t blame you, Sektor gave me a quick briefing into yours and his personal history. I respect you both as competitors but this fight isn’t about John Sektor and it certainly isn’t about you. This is about me and your boy taking this once in a lifetime opportunity in the biggest wrestling company on the planet and giving all we got until only one is left standing. 


I couldn’t give a fuck if you’re still bitter that Sektor tossed you to the curb, nor do I blame him for doing it. I used to look up to you, but now I see you the same way he does. A fat, washed up, joke of a man who tries every cheap gimmick he can think of to get a quick giggle from the crowd. 


John Sektor still puts the real work in, which is why he’s the LSD champion and you’re having to lick the assholes of Steve Harrison and Clay Byrd in a bid to find a new friend to keep your fat ass afloat. You lost your crutch at War Games and earned yourself a wheelchair, now you’re desperately prostituting yourself to the next BA guy that feels sorry for you. 


You hate to see it. 


But I refuse to get lured in by your personal bullshit. You’re right, this could all be over for me before it even gets started. Sektor spelled it out. If I lose to a guy called ‘Wabbid Wabbit’ then I’m dead in the fucking water and there’s no way back. This is it. This is the Golden opportunity for a young guy like me from St Louis Missouri to earn his name.  


Wabbit? I feel sorry for you man. See, Sektor may be in my corner, and he may have gotten me this shot, and he may be coaching me. But he isn’t taking the spotlight from me. In true, Jatt Starr, fashion he’s making this opportunity all about him and you’re nothing more than a sideshow, a fucking prop for his terrible sketch and the sooner you wake up and realise what Sektor did? The sooner you can shed that mask, kick that blonde blow-hard to the curb and show the world who you really are.


All I know about you so far is that you dress like a rabbit and sound like Kripke from Big Bang Theory. Not a lot to go off, but it’s enough to give me the confidence that I can knock your ass out at HOFC 1. 


You wanna know who I am? I’m a hungry mother-fucker who has been given the rare chance of getting a jump start in this industry and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a joke like you ruin that for me. 


While you’re being paraded around as Jatt’s new pet I’ll be in the gym, grinding! I’ll be homing in on the MMA skills I’ve been learning since I was fourteen. I’ll be thinking about you twenty four seven, which believe me is not something I will enjoy. 


Rookies like us are only as good as the people in our corner. I got a guy who still has the tools to win championships. I got the Technical wrestling machine, the fucking cold hearted legend you doesn’t think twice about trampling on the people closest to him to get what he want’s. 


What do you have? A fat blonde with a creepy thousand yard stare who is trying to vicariously get revenge over his BFF because he doesn’t have the tools any more to get the job done himself. You’re just a puppet and I’m gonna cut the strings and set you free. 


My name’s Adam Ellis..


..and I’m gonna knock you the FUCK out!