I can only imagine (since I cannot view myself getting elbowed in the face) that my eyes went back in my head and I dropped to the mat like a sack of potatoes with a loud thud.
In that time, I laid unconscious I had what I can only describe as a concussion induced trip down memory lane.
“Steve have you finished your homework?”
I looked around and found myself on the couch at my childhood house as I watched wrestling on TV. I was in pajamas with a cup of hot chocolate.
“Are you watching that brain numbing wrestling again?”
It was my dad: Thurman.
I did not say anything because I knew this wasn’t real, but it is an unchangeable timeline, so he continued his weekly rant.
“This is not how you become part of the business, Steve. Do you enjoy not having to worry about money? You need to focus on your schoolwork because in life power comes with your brain not muscles.”
That is all you could do when my dad talked. He was always correct and there was only the future he expected, and your dreams were nothing but mere fantasies.
“I have read your journal about wanting to be a famous wrestler, Steve. Do you know how many former wrestlers are broke?”
I shook my head.
“Do you know how many are homeless? How many have drug problems? How many of them are in jail?”
I shook my head–again.
“How many died before the age of 50?”
I just stared, even as a kid I knew having an opinion here would result in me going to bed without dinner.
“You either go by the plan I have laid out for you or you are not a part of this family. This family only works when my road map is followed because if it isn’t only chaos will occur.”
“Was it worth it?”
Huh…I looked around and found myself on a new couch. I looked up to see the face of Sandy Reed-Lawson with a distorted smirk on her face. She was sitting behind her desk tapping her pencil as usual on her cup of coffee.
“Was it worth becoming a wrestler?”
I squinted to look at her, but her face would not stay still almost like it was made of smoke as it kept changing its shape.
“Compared to what? What do you want me to be?”
“I remember when you were training…you were just a bright-eyed youngster always believing in the best of people.”
“That was a long time ago. You learn quickly that wrestling isn’t where you make friends it is where you discover you have none.”
“So quick to give up on your ideals…but of course…it is because of your head injury, right?”
“A ready-made excuse so you could be a reprehensible man with no regard for anyone but yourself.”
I sighed and looked down at my hands. They began shaking but I had no idea why. I looked back up at the odd moving face.
“Success is all that matters. My hands are shaking because I feel excited about burning it all down. I want to see the look on my dad’s face when I rip his plans from his decaying hands. Then they will NEED me to come up with the plans and I will finally get the respect that I deserve.”
The face began laughing but it began to swirl in the air and change shape. It stopped laughing and became Sandy’s face again.
“Oh, Steve…you are as delusional as always. Do you honestly think you can fill your father’s shoes? Do you even comprehend what he does?”
“Like he always said—you are just a wrestler now. What power can you wield when you spend your weekends in front of the toothless masses with your shirt off.”
I BLINKED AGAIN
I blinked, I blinked, I blinked, I blinked, I blinked.
I FUCKING BLINKED
“Looks like our time isn’t over yet.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I don’t see anyone else…”
I honestly didn’t see anyone though I thought to myself. She is just a cloud of smoke to my eyes. I stood up and walked over to where she was. I looked at the smoke and it began to dissipate before my eyes.
“Oh god, even my dreams let me down.”
Behind the smoke was a mirror and I stared back at myself. I rolled my eyes, what a fucking let down. Of course, my psychosis would lead to me just talking to myself.
“You think I want to talk to you?”
“You are ME, so I would assume we both enjoy self fellatio.”
“No, I am not you at all. I am the Steve Harrison that enjoyed life and wanted nothing but to be a wrestler. I am not whatever type of asshole you are.”
I ROLLED MY EYES SO HARD.
“Ok so I obviously have gotten to the part of this dream that if it were a movie the audience would walk out.”
“Nobody would come see you. What have you done?”
“Miracle Enterprise is going to take over the world.”
“Again—you are still a wrestler. What have you done?”
“I went undefeated for over six months…”
“You lost in a title match, you missed several titles matches and then well…look at you right now. You are the failure not ME!”
I grimaced at myself, which is odd enough to say then to witness. I punched the mirror and watched it fly off the desk and hit the wall. I turned my head and started walking away from the desk but there was no where to go. It just kept stretching further and further away from me as if I was walking on a treadmill heading to an unreachable goal.
“Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve!”
I looked around my head starting to pound so hard my brain echoed in my ears.
My eyes opened and my head hurt a lot. A towel covered my face but all I heard was Jack Marley.
“I should be asking if you are ok boss-mon but you have a phone call and uh…it’s important.”
I turned over and moved the towel from my face and looked at Jack. “Who…is…ugh, fucking Dan Ryan…it?”
I grabbed the phone as fast as I could as stars danced in my eyes and blood dripped down my chin.
There will be no more failures.
It was real.
It is real.
You are all in trouble.
What is there to say?
I do not need to make some stupid defensive remarks about joining The Best Alliance. When a cartoon money sign bag is handed to you without a shred of sarcasm you take it and then ask what you have to do. It just so happened that what I was asked to do is something I would have done for free. Not literally… so Lee please keep the cash coming.
Beat up Bobby Dean?
I mean goddammit, my birthday was two months ago but this felt like receiving two gifts at once. I am not going to ever say that Bobby Dean is not a good competitor. When I started in this business, I looked up to him. He was one of the few guys in the back who talked to me and gave me advice. I would travel with him and we would make jokes about life.
I remember this…barely.
Bobby Dean doesn’t remember it at all because he has had at least two undiagnosed heart attacks since that time. Yes, that is a fat joke or more like your arteries have more plague then a British person’s teeth. Lose the weight keep the health risks, it is a BBD trademark. Always has to be something amusing about him, right? If not, what is left? A boring relationship with his daughter and a whole bunch of fucking L’s in undeserved title matches. Huffing and puffing his way to dad of the year.
I know he is probably upset that Cancer Jiles has left him behind like he was the bottom bitch during Armageddon. But the bottom is the only place Bobby Dean fits. There will be no revenge match against Jiles, Bobby. But your jealousy of Cancer and inability to be a referee has brought you something far worse. It has brought you Lee Bests contempt and has finally given me the opportunity to thank you for our short time together in HOSTILITY.
Don’t pout too long though because you still get a match at March for Glory. You can get your paycheck and finally afford to pay your electricity bills–It shouldn’t make you feel too Griddy though.
I would be lying if I didn’t say I was looking forward to this match when I first joined HOW. I went out of my way to give the eGG Bandits even more exposure then they warranted with my biting (not biting food) and truthful commentary. I defeated RICK and Doozer in a Tag Match, I burned their shitty stable in a drum fire, and then I devastated our new number one contender at Rumble at the Rock. The whole time Bobby Dean skipped around with cheeseburgers hanging out of his pockets like Wimpy from Popeye as he avoided me. Bobby Dean would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
He even disappeared…
I have come to understand this happens every time Cancer Jiles or Doozer stop talking to him.
Maybe his whole sense of self is based around those two? Maybe he sucks confidence from those two phony fucks to survive in this business. I am not sure and let’s be honest Bobby Dean is not that deep of a person. He is just a meandering sack of shit that cannot make it to the end of the day without someone having to coddle him.
Do you like me?
Am I funny?
Does Mike Best take two sugars or one in his coffee?
He drinks it black just like Bobby likes his dildos.
So finally, I get my chance to face Bobby Dean after he got quite an impressive workout running away from me. Maybe I should take credit for his weight loss but then again, his cardio is still wretched so maybe he just lost weight because he cannot afford to buy food. Cancer cut off the snack budget is my guess.
I am not in the mood to give you another feel-good moment. Congrats on beating a teenager, that is probably the first time you heard that when it was actually legal and not part of a lawsuit. This isn’t going to be some cute Bobby Dean match where he puts people’s heads in his shorts, so they have to smell his uncleaned balls.
No, this is ME pummeling you repeatedly and using that extra ugly skin of yours to choke you out. I already know you enjoy being choked but I am not sure you like to have your own eczema tainted skin being force fed down your throat. You are a garbage human being and your beautiful body is proof you have sinned in every shitty life you have had.
There will be no Miracles for you, just the usual loss followed by a depression fueled food binge.
…that I have trouble feigning compassion.
But really, I might enjoy this a tad too much and I plan on doing my work as quick as possible.
March 1st, 2021
“How does it look?”
Jack Marley stares intently at the bandaged-up face of Steve Harrison. He is standing outside The Miracle Enterprise bathroom while Steve stands inside with the light on. He nods a few times to himself as he does an inner monologue thinking about what he should say. It had been over two weeks since Steve had been hit with The Hammer of God and The Miracle Enterprise apartment was beginning to show the time. There is broken glass on the floor, empty cans of all variety of drinks on tables, and the garbage hadn’t been taken out in a long time. There is no way to tell when the last time someone cleaned but it looks like the only Miracle occurring inside is that there isn’t any rats or cockroaches crawling all over the space.
“Like a mixture of a mummy from Scooby Doo and The Mummy from The Mummy staring Brendan Fraser,” Jack says as serious as he possibly can while saying something very dumb.
Harrison tilts his head to the side, “Is that it, no laugh track?”
The Miracle Man steps out of the bathroom flicking the light off as he moves. “Get me a glass of water if you are just going to make stupid comparisons.”
Jack walks swiftly to the kitchen, “WE DON’T HAVE ANY CLEAN CUPS,” he yells.
Harrison groans to himself and shakes his head. “Then clean one!”
After ten second goes by, “sorry…I mean there are only broken glasses. How about a chipped bowl of water?”
‘WHAT THE FUCK!”
“So Grubhub or DoorDash?”
Steve sulks over to his couch and plops down on it. He tosses some trash out of his way and then looks up to see the mess his apartment has become. “What the hell happened?”
What happened, was that after ICONIC both Rebecca Hines and William Morris went missing. Steve had finally discovered that Rebecca did a lot more then give him a hard time. She made sure the place was cleaned. She made sure the trash was taken out. She made sure there was food in the place. She did everything but put clothes on his back and he always had given her a hard time. That does not mean he would apologize or simp for her to come back. The truth is…nobody had heard from her so Steve had figured she had just finally gotten sick of him and ran away. The issue is that she was not replaced and between him being angry on losing the LSD Title match and having nobody to control him the apartment had begun to look like a crack house.
One day he drank too much whiskey and started throwing glasses at the wall as be screamed about being afraid of heights. It all added up as he was too privileged to ever clean something himself and Jack Marley just sat around smoking weed.
William Morris had been called away weeks after the two people who egged Harrison had disappeared. This was to be expected as he still had to do what Harrisons ex-trainer said. He would come and go but mainly he was on his own missions, so nobody was around to calm him down.
Miracle Enterprise had started looking like a failed start up now but through that time Steve had found some backbone inside the ring… or an octagon cage to be more precise.
Jack walks back into the living room and knocks away a few pizza boxes and sits down on the black recliner. “Mon—this place looks like a 3rd world restaurant.”
Steve stands up and looks down at Jack. “No kidding, we need to get out of this funk and clean this place up. This is not how a member of The Best Alliance should be living.”
“We? Am I in too?”
Harrison smirks, “heh, no… I mean you get to help clean this place up.” Steve pauses and then nods to himself, “oh and whatever place delivers that Chinese food I like. Can’t clean on an empty stomach.”
“On it.” Jack gets his cell phone out and starts searching for the Chinese place.
Steve stands up and walks to his room. He almost trips over a pile of dirty clothes he has let pile up. He sighs and angrily starts kicking the clothes out of his way. Socks fly against the wall as Harrison screams quietly to himself. “This shit is ridiculous. How the hell did I let things get this out of control? Am I that reliant on others that I cannot do a damn load of laundry and put dishes inside a dishwasher?”
Steve grabs a mini bottle of whiskey from his nightstand and shakes it a little as the bottle was too dark to see if it was full. He hears a small splash and yanks the cap off and takes a large swig. “Ahhhh. This is what my obsession with my father has gotten me. I am a wrestler and I have come to terms with that. Do not get me wrong I don’t mean that I never was a wrestler. I mean that I have to concentrate on becoming better because all my talk about never taking a day off sounds very hollow now. Comparing myself to those who live off their name was never going to help me take the step needed to defeat the likes of Dan Ryan. If I am ever to touch that piece of shit father of mine, I need to succeed at everything.”
The Man of the BEST Miracles takes another swig of whiskey and then walks over to the window in his room and looks out as snow melts outside from the bright sun above. “Lee Best did not invite me into The Best Alliance because I have failed in big matches. He invited me because he sees what I can become. I am not hear to kiss babies and shake hands…I am most definitely not a politician. I am not going to walk up to Jatt Starr and Hughie Freeman like we are friends…no… we are allies because the boss man has told me so. I respect the power and I respect the money. I am here to make money and systemically eliminate those that cross Mr. Best.”
“FOOD WILL BE HERE IN THIRTY MINUTES!” The stoned yell of Jack Marley decrees like the food god he is when he has the munchies.
“CALL A GODDAMN MAID SERVICE TOO, STEVE HARRISON DOESN’T CLEAN A FUCKING THING!” replies the HOW Sales Expert.
Harrison finishes off the small bottle of whiskey in one long sip and then wipes the wetness off his mouth with part of his face bandage. “Not sure why I would ever clean this myself. I have the funds, so it is time to make this place look respectable again. People can leave me if they want but it will never be better then when you are with The Miracle Man. This is a new chapter and it is not a children’s book this is fucking horror show novel for you twats that get in my way.”
“WHAT, THE FOOD HERE?”
“UM…REBEECCA IS BACK AND SHES WEIRD!”
Harrison pauses and says softly, “Probably from seeing the mess.”
Steve walks quickly into the living room and see Rebecca Hines in jeans and a sweater standing in front of Jack she looked up and stared at Steve who gave her a smirk and she BLINKED….
…Extremely slowly back at him.