BLINK II: Electric Boogawhoareyou

BLINK II: Electric Boogawhoareyou

Posted on March 11, 2021 at 8:51 pm by Steve Harrison

 

I think Bobby Dean needs to contact his local doctor because it would seem he has Irritable bowel syndrome of the mouth.  Did you wipe your mouth twice after you were done with this diarrhea of nonsense?  Need some wet wipes you rotund rat?

I am trying to come to terms if I should give a shit about any of what you said or if you give a shit about what you said because you put as little work in your comments as you have done cleaning the goddamn ship.  Trust me the security cameras on the ship have given me some nice entertainment the last few days.

Do you usually use a toothbrush to scratch your ass?

Is there a reason you floss with the frayed threads from your shirt?

Real talk, I saw you use a brillo pad to wipe away your tears and feel like you might not know what that is used for.

You and Cancer Jiles are a real annoyance and worse yet extremely lazy workers who have horrible work ethic.  It should not be a surprise to anyone though because you two only show up when you are gifted undeserved title shots.  I don’t know…have I not beaten that in your head yet?  You have the unwarranted pushes of a fat bitch on the model runway.

Let’s not kid ourselves, Bobbo mentioning your name in insults or jokes don’t help elevate anyone or give them cred.

Beating you is like being an eskimo brother with every other wrestler in HOW.

Beating you is like peeing in the morning: inevitable.

I am happy you are learning on the Mike Best tree of trash talk and just say whatever comes to mind and believe it is fact.  You have had my name in your mouth far more then I have had yours in mine since you came back.  Always a halfhearted or is it half full Milk joke that land so weakly you have forgotten it.  Take a note that attempting to insult me about Milk when it looks like you use whole milk as mouth wash just makes it seem you are just upset, I don’t have any more to sell you.  I guess this is where I say I am going to scramble your brains, I am going to beat you over easy, and  I am going to hard boil your skin and feed it to you.

Yep, awesome, I am sure that was right up your alley you cringey janitor.

It does not matter to me if you lie anymore.  If you honestly need to believe that you are not afraid of your neck being snapped then by all means live in your little world of make believe.  I do not care if you had beat Max Kael let alone his adopted son.  I am under the belief that what is in front of you is more important then what you have done.

Why should I be afraid of any competitor who has done ZERO homework on their opponent?  Do you think it makes you sound like a badass to not know who I have beaten?  These are comments straight from high school and since your mentality has been stuck there for twenty years I should not be surprised.  Ok, so let me believe for a second you don’t know who I have beaten what makes that a winning strategy?  You are not going to waddle to the ring and suffocate me with your skin because I have no issue making your entire body look like my face.  I will wear fucking gloves if I must, so I am not overwhelmed by the sheer disgusting nature of your body.  I will do whatever it takes to leave you demolished.

You are the last light bulb working in a rotten room full of eGGs and I do enjoy a controlled fire…ok sorry…I enjoy any fire that finally puts this nonsense to the compost heap.  Another drum fire would certainly be more popular then whatever you have going on these days.  I guess still living in the shadow of Sagittarius Miles is a gimmick of some sort.

You are my opponent because I was asked kindly to take care of you.  When I say kindly, I mean I was given a large amount of cash and being part of The Best Alliance comes with some very nice perks.  Since joining HOW I have slowly gone away from insulting you because I stopped seeing the point.  I suppose I could have asked for a match with you but every week I got further and further up the standings while you froze in one spot.  Now you come back and get everything handed to you again because once again everyone loves a clown.  You can prance around, put on an entertaining show and in the end, you LOSE…like always.

I have no shame, Bobby.  I don’t even think about ‘what ifs’ when it comes to this match because that is a loser’s mentality.  You have been a joke for so long that losing isn’t something you fear anymore it is just what you expect.  Losing has become a blanket for you.  Losing has become a warm fire when you are cold because you cannot afford your electricity bill.  Losing has become a tattoo on your soul and that is something you can never laser away.

You are a loser.  Not in the insult sense but a physical embodiment of failure.  The Big L… the Fat L? I just happen to be here to help you through this.  You don’t always have to be the jester for the HOW stars.  You don’t have to wait for fake praise from Mike Best to feel good about yourself.  You lose, you wake up, and you give the good ole Miracle Man a call and maybe—just maybe, I can get you a job.

Also let me get something straight…

When have I ever asked to be the voice of a cardboard parody of Dan Ryan?  Are you trying to break the fourth wall here, Bobbo?  Look the worse things I could do is hang out with the Bandits and take gambling tips on the UFC from you.  I would HOG tie you and toss you out a Vegas Casino Hotel window if I could you mumbling fool.  I can forgive you though because we all know you left your hibernating cave early this year.  Need to gorge on some more L’s to get that weight back up. You know all day depression snacking, the Bobby Dean specialty.  Maybe your daughter can open a can of Trans Fats and just pour it down your gullet.  You know…because you are a lazy unreliable has-been…

…never was

…it is too late now to be anything?

That’s it.

At March for Glory I will make it, so you don’t have to listen to me anymore when I drop you repeatedly on both of your ears.  I hope the ringing you will be hearing for a while is worth the situation you have put yourself in.  I am sure Laser won’t mind whipping you back into shape and in time you will be losing to everyone all over again.

This is not a negotiation and will never be a lose/lose situation this is a Steve Harrison WIN probability and you can rest assure I will do it as painfully for you as I can.

Someone get this guy COBRA stat cause he is going to be in the hospital for a very long time.

See you soon, old pal.

 

 

March 1st, 2021

 

Even in my amazement that Rebecca had randomly walked back into The Miracle Enterprise Apartment I could not help but put on an undeserved smirk.  I thought I needed to show her that I did not need her.  I of course forgot that while my smirk bled through my bandages that the entire place looked like a war zone.

Her blink was odd, but I figured it was out of seeing the absurdity of the place she just walked back into.  My smirk faded.  “Oh yea…the mess.”

She continued to stare and then shrugged at my statement.

“Is it my face?”

“I told you, mon—she is acting weird,” Jack said as he took a few steps away from Rebecca as if he was afraid of something occurring that would not be pleasant.

I took a few steps towards her.  My eyes began to squint like I was a detective looking for a clue.  “I am sure you are just startled by everything, but the great Steve Harrison won’t let an employee down.”

Again?

Wait, maybe I always let people down because they cannot live up to the high expectations of being around the Miracle Man.

“Steve…Harrison,” she replied softy.

I nodded, “yea, that’s me.  Dan Ryan gave my face an unwanted face lift, so I need to keep it bandaged up for now.”

Nothing.

I started fidgeting with my face bandages as I began to feel a tad nervous about what I was witnessing.  I randomly started picking up cans and trash off the surrounding tables and floors in an act I could only call action to avoid uneasiness.  Jack watched and then started helping me. He grabbed a trash bag and started tossing everything I had collected.  Every few seconds I would turn my head and look at Rebecca to see if anything had change.

“I… am… sorry, I was visiting my family,” she suddenly said.

My ears perked up quickly and I tossed a few empty cans of Beer into a trash bag and peered up at her.  She was now looking around the living which I figured was a sign she had snapped out of whatever was wrong.  At the same time, I was bracing for her to yell at me but as I watched her, I did not see it coming…this time.  I brushed down my gray sweatpants and leaned against the wall.  “Yea…I mean well…most people would tell their job they are going to go visit family for two months but hey…right?” I finished with a soft chuckle.

She did not react to the joke.

“Yes, I am sorry it was an emergency,” she responded completely ignoring my sarcasm and silly joke.

I sighed loudly as I looked on confused.  I don’t think it would come as a surprise to learn I am not very good at small talk or being understanding of others.  She just stood around like a robot and all I felt was that she would rip open her sweater and show a suicide bomb attached to her chest.  Nothing was coming though and now I started to realize that maybe I enjoyed her giving me a hard time because at least someone challenged me so I wasn’t bored all the time being around Jack Marley or…let’s be honest…alone.

“Not sure what to say, Rebecca but I was expecting you to yell at me for the fact there is broken glass littering the living room.  I have to wear shoes all time because of it and Jack hasn’t been able to wear his Birkenstocks in a long time.”

Jack nodded, “my hippie heart cant take it anymore, mon.”

BLINK

BLINK

Slow creepy smile.

“Let’s clean this up, shall we?” Rebecca responded to me with a smile only a plastic surgeon would approve of.

I looked over at Jack whose eyes looked like saucers.  I nodded to him agreeing that this situation was becoming very Stepford Wives.  “Let me try something,” I whispered.

Jack shook his head worried, “try to run, mon.”

“No, I got this,” I turned back towards Rebecca.  “So, Rebecca what are your thoughts on wrestling?”

“A noble sport.”

“Uh…what do you think of Sandy?”

“An amazing mentor.”

“Uh…what are your thoughts on robots or Alien pod people?”

“I have always been more of a fantasy person then sci-fi.”

Damnit, I thought I had her with that question.  I bent down and tied a full trash bag up so someone…not me of course could bring it to the trash chute in the apartment complex.  This was going smoothly but every answer was the opposite of what I had been expecting.  I grabbed another trash bag and then realized I was actually cleaning up but wasn’t going to berate myself because this was making Rebecca’s appearance a tad easier to handle.  I needed to use my hands and biting my nails was not an option anymore.  One habit at a time I had told myself.  Maybe I should start smoking or Vape…that is all the rage these days, right?  I peered back up at Rebecca and tried one more question.

“What do you think of Steve Harrison, the amazing Miracle Man?”

No Lie Detected.

“Great man and boss.”

My mouth dropped.  “Uh… you sure you are doing alright?”

 

CUT

 

 

 

Washington DC

December 16th, 2020

 

Rebecca Hines is seen walking down M Street after a day of shopping and Lunch with an old friend of hers.  She is bundled up in Jeans and Jacket on this cold December afternoon.  As she walked a car began to pull up on the side of her.  It slowed down and she turned surprised at the car pulling up on her.  The window began to move down, and she got in a flight or fight mode ready to take off if the situation required it.  The Window finally was down far enough to show the driver.  Behind the wheel was an older gentleman in his late 50’s.  She finally noticed the car was an impressive brand new 2010 Bentley Flying Spur.

“Are you buying Steve a birthday gift?” The man asked Rebecca’s as he pushed his hazard lights on not worried at all about backing up traffic or annoying anyone else on the road.

“Wait what—who are you?”

The man smiled but did not laugh.  “I apologize, I do not think we have been properly introduced.” He stretched his arm outside his window to shake her hand, “I am Thurman Harrison, Steve’s father.”

She took his hand and shook it slowly as she thought back on the feud she had heard about on and off during her time with Steve.  After all this time she had never met the man but knew she was paid through Sandy from him so she was in a little bit of shock at randomly meeting him the day after she started her personal sleuth work to get away from all of these people.

“I… yes I know of you.  It is very strange it has taken us this long to meet,” she said trying to be careful with her words.

He smiled again, “Oh there is always a reason for everything.  Every action has a consequence and it is my job to know what that consequence will be.”

“Consequence?”

He nodded, “Every action has a result and a consequence is something important that can occur.  Let me put it this way: you decide to bug your employer but do not realize you are also being watched so your attempts to climb a mountain have now resulted in you forgetting there was a mountain.”

Rebecca’s eyes got large and she started panicking looking left and right.  She looked for someone to help her but then realized that the whole time he had been pulled over absolutely zero cars have been seen.  She looks down the road to see it suspiciously blocked off by people she cannot make out.  She looks back to Thurman who continues to smile towards her.  “I…”

Suddenly a bag goes over Rebecca’s head, she tries to struggle away from it, but the bag is attached to two very strong hands and she goes limp as the bag probably had chloroform inside it.  Thurman turns back towards his wheel and the window starts to go back up, “You have had your fun, Miss Hines.” He stopped the window and watched as the man put Rebecca into a van that was parked ten feet up the street from them.  “You know where to take her?”

“Yes sir.”

 

FADE

 

 

PASTE

 

She never did respond to my question about being ok.  I sat down on the barstool at my personal bar on the side of the living room and found one bottle that had not been broken or emptied.  It was gin, I hate gin but what are you going to do?  I took the cap off and took a pull from the bottle and my face contorted like I had witnessed LT having sex with Teddy Palmer.  I sighed and watched as she helped Jack clean up the broken glass on the floor.  Nothing really made sense to me at that point in time because we all like to have our ego stroked so I may as well take advantage of this scenario even if at any moment she could stab me.

An hour later she had started vacuuming but I could not take my eyes off her.  Jack had passed out on the couch as soon as the trash was taken care of, so it was only her and I conscious inside the apartment.  Of course, after an hour the gin had done a number on my soberness.

I started to think back at when I first met her and how she was always happy and encouraging to me even when I was attacking fans at a show or being threatened by cops that were probably employed by my dad.  Do not take this as me wishing I had acted differently.  The only way you lose is if you apologize.  That is not a new saying because that is how life in general has progressed on the back of for ages.  The meek did not ever inherit the Earth and the meek fail in wrestling.  Failure is something I often wrestle with, so if it is something I understand when it comes to Bobby Dean it is being stuck in a place you generally do not enjoy but just accept.  I do not accept it now and that is where we differ.  I would not leave myself open to be used as slave labor on the Best Battleship and I certainly would not allow my old friend/Enemy to watch and laugh at me.

Different or not it is not my job to start treating Rebecca any different.  But now that she is back, I do realize that maybe some arguments are left unsaid because if I ever have to clean up this place again, I might just strangle myself with these fucking bandages.

“Two months with family huh?” I said from my stool, the gin bottle swinging in my deadly or maybe shaky left hand.

“Yes.”

“Was it an emergency because if I had to spend just two minutes with my family, I would go insane,” I responded not giving up even though she was giving me little to work with.

She blinked.

I shrugged and took one last swig from the bottle of gin.  “You ever meet my dad…”

She blinked and softy said “no.”

“Yea, no loss…”

She Blinked and said, “No.”

I looked around confused as she began to empty the vacuum contents into a fresh trash bag inside the trash can.  “I was just saying…”

She BLINKED and loudly said, “NO!”

The trash lid closed as she turned and suddenly stared at me.  I put the now empty bottle of gin down with a surprising lack of coordination as the bottle fell over because my hand had started to shake.  I stood up and was ready for anything.  “Sorry?”

“Initiate distraction,” I heard.

“Initiate wha…”

I could not finish my sentence before her top fell to the floor and staring back at me was a nice set of tits.  I froze and all other thoughts left my head.  I slowly walked towards her and got three feet away and stopped moving.  “Success,” she said.

She Blinked

She smiled.

She grabbed my hand.

It all went black.

 

CUT