It’s the end of black history month. But every month is black history for me. Did you learn anything? Because March is Women’s history month. Two important things that make me who I am. As a black person and as a woman this all lines up perfect for me. Because being a woman means you’re a minority, being black means you’re a minority. I am over all the perfect diversity hire. Some people say I only have the job for affirmative action. So of course they think that I am somehow less deserving of any spot I’ve gotten.
Today’s prevalent topic guaranteed to make you cringe and feel uncomfortable is “Rape culture.” What is rape culture?
It is the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, making a society that disregards women’s rights and safety. It’s the “boys will be boys” adage. It’s the “what was she wearing?”, It’s “well she was a slut anyway.”. Women are taught to do things to avoid being raped but men aren’t taught not to rape. You all know women who have been sexually assaulted, but how many men do you know that are the assailants? It’s amazing how when a man is accused the victims are liars. The victims are making it up because they didn’t want to date them. It’s all ridiculous excuses for them to not believe victims because that’s your friend “no way he would do that.”
The first thing you’re told in wrestling as a female is “don’t date the wrestlers.” Because you have to build up yourself as a wrestler. Otherwise you get the stigma of being a rat. The slut shaming is ridiculous in this business. Because where as men can have sex and bang chicks in every state; you have a romantic relationship with one or two guys and, oh my God you’re a slut. Because there isn’t a happy medium! Not ever! A woman in wrestling needs to be a sexually repressed prude or a whore who will bang any and everyone. I have a reputation and been called a whore. It’s amazing if I was having as much sex as I have been accused of I’d be a much happier person. Sex releases endorphins, in the words of Elle Woods. “Happy people don’t kill!!” I swear if I had half the sex life people like to assume I had I would be in a much better mood.
When you’re around only wrestlers of course it’s going to happen. You’re going to inevitably date a wrestler. Therefore shitting where you sleep. Because when you eventually break up, half the people in the locker room will hate you and the other half will think you’re easy.
Some people have chemistry with each other in wrestling. It’s natural and you’re going to deny that because people are going to talk? Men really are more gossips than women, especially in wrestling. One giant pissing contest, so the rumor mill has to come up with lies about me because in truth I’m a boring individual. And even if I was having sex who’s business is that? You don’t feed me, finance me, nor have any say in how I live my life.
But it isn’t just me. It is all women in wrestling who put up with this type of garbage. The toxicity will always be an issue in wrestling this boys club. Yes, even here in HOW. Sure, roll your eyes about it all you want. But let’s look at the pay gap. Hall of famers are generally given 97k a year. What was my contract? 79…. The only female! Because women in HOW have been disrespected for decades. Why stay? Because I can handle myself. I came back to prevent other women from enduring that type of disrespect by speaking on it.
Slut shaming is real and it’s ingrained in girls from a young age. Look at most school dress codes. Girls can’t wear tank tops and be comfortable in the summer because they are “too distracting.” Girls have to have their shorts go past their finger tips or it violates the dress code.
We are taught that we should be ashamed to show skin, because males can’t be held responsible. Perfect example? The Steubenville case. (See: Documentary “roll red roll”.) a high school girl was at a party. She was drunk and got taken advantage of. People laughed at the girl and took pictures and used their cellphone to take video of the “slut” who was violated by three football players. People didn’t shame them for taking advantage of a woman who was unconscious. No, they said it was her fault for being a sloppy drunk. The coaches were aware and attempted to cover it up. Why? To protect the football players’ future. They got slaps on the wrist, the one went onto play football for YSU. Because the sports industry does not care about protecting women. If a guy is good sports we look the other way and turn blind eyes. We blame the female. “What was she wearing?” Clothing doesn’t equal consent. I can walk around topless in downtown Cleveland with a see through skirt in a thong. It doesn’t give you the right to put your hands on me. It doesn’t mean I am asking to be assaulted.
Ben roethlisberger sexually assaulted several women. It doesn’t matter if they were sluts or whatever, no means no. If you do not have consent to touch someone’s body or even if you were about to have sex and someone says no it is still no. But instead the women are disgraced because they used their voice. Ben Roethlisberger still got to play football, he still got to go on to win several super bowls. But yet several women’s lives are forever ruined and scarred because they was a victims of assault. But it’s okay because he’s a guy who can play a sport so we overlook any little unpleasantries.
Who protects the girls? You all have mother’s, sisters, aunt’s, daughters, female friends etc. And several of them have been victims or may be potential future victims Because no it’s not all men! But it’s a lot of them and too many other people that are keeping quiet about it. Again it’s the unfortunate example of a boys club. No, I came back to protect women. I came back to make an example. I came back to show that there needs to be support with women in wrestling. Say it’s for dual purposes, say whatever you want. Yes I know I blaze the trails, but I’m trying to make sure that the next generations don’t have to endure with other previous generations before them have. And the more you fight against me to try to make this change is the more that you like the fire under me proven that I am here for a reason. That I’m doing the right thing to stop toxic masculinity to stop the shut shaming culture and perpetuating the rape culture.
If you’ve said any statements about women congratulations you are part of the culture. Do better, help protect women, because you shouldn’t have to wait till it’s your daughter who is a victim.
We see Bobbinette Carey pull up in her magenta Toyota Corolla to her home in Parma, Ohio. Her two best friends “the mom squad” (Leah as Michelle.) are standing by the garage. Bobbinette gets out of the car as the two look worried. Bobbinette gets out of the car slowly as she looks at her friends knowing this isn’t good.
Bobbinette: Is Mimi ok?
Bobbinette asks nervously as she looks at her friends.
Leah: She’s fine. Where is Marc?
Bobbinette takes a deep breath, her cheeks looking full as chipmunk cheeks as she slowly blows air out.
Bobbinette: Scottywood.. kidnapped him
Michelle: Wait, that was real?! Why don’t you go to the police?
She asks frantically. Bobbinette rubs her hands together nervously.
Bobbinette: We don’t do that in wrestling…
Leah: What do you mean you don’t do that in wrestling?!
Leah looks angrily at Bobbinette.
Michelle: He is a widowed father. Just call Scooter and have him give him back.
Michelle says her voice getting louder.
Bobbinette: It doesn’t work that way…. Oh my gosh Amelia…
She says in horror as she looks at her friends.
Leah: Mia was sleeping over with Mimi. I told them her dad is hanging out with Mimi’s uncle for the week so they can sleep over at my house. You fix this now.
Leah says getting close to Bobbinette in a threatening manner. Leah comes up to Bobbinette’s shoulder. Bobbinette narrows her eyebrows as she looks down at her friend.
Bobbinette: I can’t just “fix it” it doesn’t work like that. I have to… It’s not that easy. And I feel bad about it. I do because a dude liked me and… I didn’t want to date anyone. I know the dangers of wrestling.
Michelle: We didn’t think they just kidnapped people!
Michelle looks shocked and upset as Leah continues to be angry.
Bobbinette: HOW is different…. No one is really safe. It’s why I didn’t want to come back. I didn’t want to date anyone. You two pushed me into it. So really this is your fault. You know what? Since you guys are now seeing how my life is, you two should probably avoid me.
She says walking into her house, closing the garage behind her. Her friends hit the sensor on the garage and follow her in.
Michelle: You don’t get to do that!
Leah: And why didn’t you tell us about the kiss? Not that it matters right now! But still you kept details!
Bobbinette turns around and squints looking at the two of them.
Bobbinette: Really? Look I am out… I’ll pick up Mimi from school and pay you both for helping.
Bobbinette says annoyed as she goes into her house slamming the door behind her. The two friends walk in the house after Bobbinette.
Leah: You’re avoiding it. And you’re misplacing blame because you’re not mad at us.
Bobbinette looks over at them both.
Bobbinette: We were supposed to have a date this week.
Michelle: unless you would have blown him off again.
Michelle says quickly under her breath.
Bobbinette: Fair enough… I mean I get it. But the kiss was nice… and now Scott has him so there goes any chance at anything.
Bobbinette says with an annoyed sound.
Bobbinette: Like how am I supposed to focus on the tag tournament when I’m going to be worried about Marc?
She says putting her thumb nail to her mouth and biting her nail. She spits out the nail then looks down.
Bobbinette: I haven’t bit my nails in years. Damn it!
She says realizing how anxious she is.
Bobbinette: He did this on purpose… he saw that Darkwing and I were doing good as a team. He thought I was all alone. He thought I would cry and do the chick thing and since he knew he couldn’t kidnap darkwing he went after my chance at having a healthy relationship.
She says as she starts pacing back and forth in her kitchen. Leah and Michelle look at each other.
Michelle: So you want a relationship.
Bobbinette: Well yeah… I mean no one person is an island who wants to be alone forever?
Bobbinette says in a matter of fact tone. Leah and Michelle start getting giddy and look at Bobbinette happily.
Bobbinette: But of course since Scott has a bug up his butt. That title wasn’t his love, he’s so melodramatic. Like he isn’t part of the two time champ club, with Mike best he wasn’t going to be either. But me and DW getting a chance at the tag titles is actually realistic. He can’t stand to see people happy.
She says as her cheeks start to get red.
Bobbinette: He’s such a miserable person that my happiness is an issue. You know I’d be happy for him if he was succeeding!
Leah: so how do you get Marc home?
She asks looking towards Bobbinette. Bobbinette bites the inside of her mouth thinking about this question.
Bobbinette: either of you want to put yourself out as sacrificial lambs?
They both shake their heads “no” quickly. Bobbinette sighs.
Bobbinette: Maybe if I call MOB… maybe..
Bobbinette: I’ll find a way to bring him home this week. I have a few ideas. So I have to face Connor and David Black.
Leah and Michelle look at her with confusion.
Bobbinette: David Noble.. David Black was decades ago. Friend, and enemy… that was a lifetime ago…
She shakes her head and puts her thumb nail into her mouth.
Michelle: isn’t the one guy your friend?
Bobbinette wrinkles her eyebrows.
Bobbinette: Gamer dude? He’s in the AoA…. Like that entire group is toxicity at its finest… It’s like an innocent kid walked into a pit of vipers. But they would have him believe I am the monster.
She says shaking her head.
Bobbinette: He’s a great wrestler. He’s probably a good kid just caught up with the wrong crowd. Being part of the AoA does nothing for him but give them credibility. They don’t deserve that, they are riding his coattails attempting to maintain relevance.
Leah: so you guys are friends.
Bobbinette stops and puts her hands up.
Bobbinette: I didn’t say all that. He’s got his cohorts of AoA. There is always a set up, for an attack. Even if he doesn’t see it they would plan an attack and use the kid to do so..it’s how Mario’s brain works.
Michelle: your ex-husband… you really think your ex-husband would use someone just to get back at you.
Bobbinette looks at her friend dumbfounded by the question and scoffs.
Bobbinette: Yes! He’s that deranged. He would set that up, why? Because most of the men in HOW do not like seeing me succeed in anything. It’s why I have Darkwing who has lived outside HOW for so long he doesn’t care about the idiots that are around now.
Bobbinette pauses mid thought looking a little sad.
Bobbinette: I mean it’s a little sad and I wished his heart was in it. He’s doing this out of obligation. I see it. I know it’s only cause I called in the favor. I just haven’t seen that spark… that old him.
Leah: but you’ve won.
She points out chirping up.
Bobbinette: yeah but if your heart isn’t in something you’re not going to pour yourself into it. I can see he’s not here fully yet. But beating the world champ even if it’s in a tag match that’s bound to wake him up.
She says as she mulls it over in her head.
Bobbinette: I’ll let him fight Connor. I will handle David. He’s newer here. Not saying that makes him easier to beat but it means that he’s got to get his footing though it seems he found it with the AoA.
There is venom in Bobbinette’s voice as she mentions AoA.
Bobbinette: His contract ends at March to Glory… makes me wonder if it’s his doubt or commitment to HOW.
Leah: How so?
Bobbinette looks over her shoulder.
Bobbinette: Because if he valued HOW he would have taken a year. But if he loses he’s gone? That’s either doubt in his ability or.. poor sportsmanship. It takes two people to lose a tag team tournament. He’s gone after March to glory so maybe he isn’t HOW material. Maybe he’s like the others… who think they can cut it here and learn this isn’t like the small ponds they’ve played around in. And it is okay this place isn’t for everyone.
Michelle: Wow, you’re kind of a bitch.
Michelle says shocked hearing this from her friend.
Bobbinette: I’ve had to be. Do you think I would have made it if I was hugs and puppies? The answer is no I wouldn’t have. I knew what it took to be part of HOW when I joined. If David is doubting himself that works better for me. Doubt leads to messing up.
Leah: Okay great… so… yeah that sounds like a good idea. But that kiss!!
Bobbinette shakes her head and leans her elbows on the counter and her fists to her cheeks.
Bobbinette: there were more than one and they were nice.
She said with a smile.
Michelle: meaning you’d want to again? You know… if your friend didn’t break into your house then kidnap the guy you were dating?
Michelle asks, trying to find out more information. Bobbinette starts blushing as she wrinkles her nose trying to not seem like a girlie girl. Leah looks shocked then nervous as she cautiously opens her mouth.
Leah: So… um… the bondage stuff was that really yours?
Bobbinette’s eyes widened in horror.
Bobbinette: I haven’t had sex in years. And I wouldn’t have anything like that in my house. He probably hit up the adult mart over on Brooke Park.
Leah: how do you know where…
Bobbinette: Go home!
Bobbinette says hugging both of her friends and shooing them out of her house quickly. The friends look at each other before shrugging and going to their respective homes.