Victim Awareness Month isn’t until October. But I feel like I need to do this now. Because clearly none of my wisdom has actually worked with you people.
I’ve been trying to educate you on ignorance and what do I get for it? Blamed as the criminal, tragic incidents that have been happening to me. How toxic you are to blame the victim saying that I burnt down my own house? You say that I tried to kill myself? I am terrified of bodies of water, why would I set that up for myself? I would just take a bunch of pills if I was going to kill myself. I don’t like pain contrary to popular belief but people want to blame me instead of having sympathy for what I’m going through.
So, my question is this: how dare you? How rude and ignorant can you be? Blaming me for the issues that have befallen me instead of the true perpetrator? What is wrong with the men here that they want to blame the person who has gone through these tragic events? Like seriously?! You are all part of the problem. Why doesn’t a rape victim come forward? Why didn’t she come forward sooner? Well, it was what she was wearing! She was drinking too much! She was flirting like she wanted it.
Typical victim blaming and that is what you all do. Why? Because you don’t listen to women. It makes sense though because women aren’t listened to ever. Women spoke out about Bill Cosby for years and no one ever did anything, it wasn’t until a male comedian had pointed out about the jokes that people actually took notice. Again, it has to be the word of a man before a woman is believed.
Someone tried to MURDER me! Someone destroyed one of my homes with fire! I am a victim whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.
I say someone because we don’t know if it was Scott Stevens for sure because he didn’t gloat about it. But instead because wrestling is a boys club, they blame the woman! That’s what you men are amazing at. My suffering doesn’t matter, the trauma I’ve endured doesn’t matter. The sleepless nights I have gone through mean nothing to any of you. Because it’s my fault that this happened, isn’t it? That’s how you look at things if you blame the victim, then you don’t feel guilty about not having a conscience. If you blame the victim then you don’t have to feel bad when something bad happens to them. That’s how you’re able to sleep at night, isn’t it? Because you’re not at all just like the person who did that to me, nope, because I deserved it in your minds. I’m just a bitch after all, aren’t I? I deserve everything I get even though other people are worse. Even though some people destroy other people’s livelihood. People will murder other people here in HOW but I’m the bad guy? Can we get a psych eval on the entire roster, please?!
How mentally fucked up do you have to be? What type of torture kink are you afflicted with to have that you sit there and just watch? Sure, you might not know who did it but your silence has become your compliance to the acts themselves. Your silence has shown that even if you don’t know who is behind it, that you’re still okay with this being done to a fellow wrestler. You’re still okay with this happening in the confines of the working environment of this company. And for that, it makes you worse than Lee Best ever has been.
Before you pat yourself on the back saying how you’re the good guy, what the hell have you actually done for others who are suffering? What have you done that’s good to anyone that isn’t in your circle of friends? If the answer is nothing then shut up and sit down. Sick of you fake ass “good guys” around here. Awful, full of shit narcissists is what most of you are.
But the victims of awareness rights are important because there is a moment when a person goes from being a victim to being a survivor to being a fighter. It’s strange like the stages of grief. And I had that moment when I reclaimed my power. I’ve spent months being an emotionally destroyed victim. I spent months being afraid of my own shadow, forgetting who I was. Allowing others to dictate and control my emotions and my feelings.
I’ve gone through the stages of grief, I have gone through being a victim to being a survivor, and now a metamorphosis into reminding me of the fighter that burns in my heart. All it took was going home.
The HOW roster showed why we can’t have nice things. In my own home town. It’s not surprising because that’s who they are, that is how they’ve always been, they act up, and they can’t act right to save their lives. And especially if it’s something important to someone like me. No, they have to act like damn toddlers and ruin amazing moments.
I don’t think I asked for much. I definitely don’t believe that I make ridiculous requests.
But of course in HOW, I might as well have been asking for the world!
One damn night and people can’t have their shit together for it. This shows the selfish assholes I work with.
I wasn’t about to let Simon make a mockery of a victory in my hometown. This was my victory! My victory in my hometown! My moment, my happy ending. But no, we can’t let me have that, can we? Instead Stevens, who was a little pissy, decided he was going to ruin my happy moment. He didn’t try to kill me.
It’s back to the drawing board but I’m no longer stressed. Maybe because there’s a big STRONK man who seems to be looking out for me. Not that I depend on any male but do appreciate help.
Now I had a victory, I’m on the right path but people don’t like allowing me to have simple joys in life.
My celebration over my victory is short-lived because I am facing the man I pinned. The man who decided to phone it in and that’s the reason I got the victory. There was a time this would be a pay per view calibur match. But Sektor isn’t who he once was. I never believed the hype. We aren’t who we used to be. But pinning him…. It reminded me of something that I forgot… that one victory reminded me of who the hell I am. I’ve been so lost in fear, so preoccupied with determining who it was, that I have let whoever it is control my life for far too long.
Been so busy being afraid that I forgot I’m a badass. The mind games and the manipulation and control they have over my every waking moment are over. The history in HOW read that I have a victory over Sektor and Christopher America, that I pinned John Sektor myself.
As much hell as I have been through, you can’t tell me shit right now. I’m not hearing it. I am puffing my chest out, I feel damn invincible for the most part. Sure, Scott Stevens was a little bitch for what he did. For now he’s cleared of being a suspect because dude is about as subtle as an anvil. I know once he’s healed Scooter will murder him. Normally, I’d pause and claim he’s being extra but it’s more of a mercy killing at this point. Scott Stevens is too dumb for his own good. He’s not my problem nor my concern.
My concern is that I know Sektor is going to be pissed about his loss. I know Simon isn’t happy I took the win. It’s wrestling, you seize opportunities or you miss out.
One match and two men crying over a victory. There’s something about this feeling I have knowing that two men were disappointed and pouting over loss. Two Hall of Fame men who are the originals of HOW.
Do I get pleasure from knowing that my shining moment irked two legends? Yes, yes, I do. Because it reminds me of the original era when I came in and blew the doors off of everything. When I made people stop and take notice that I was here to make a statement. I still got it!
We see the Chicago skyline.
The Best Arena with a live billboard, advertising the upcoming Chaos. A familiar pink Limo drives past it. Inside Bobbinette sits confidently thinking about what she has to do to walk out of Chicago with her hand raised in victory on back-to-back weeks. She’s wearing a green pair of leggings with a pop fit sports bra tank top. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail as her face is makeup less.
The Queen of Epicness Bobbinette Carey looks at the sign. She sees her name vs. Sektor and smirks.
Bobbinette: Now, this feels like a bit of nostalgia. Two Hall of Fame Legends…
She chuckles lightly as she looks down at her cell phone.
Bobbinette: Of course, in Chicago they are going to get an amazing match that brings in the original fans. America knew Sektor wasn’t on his A game. Who thought I’d get along better with Simon better than America did with Sektor? Did not see that coming.
She takes a deep sigh as her eyes scan through apartments for rent. She watches virtual tours as Alton navigates the busy Chicago traffic.
Bobbinette: I slept through the night that Sunday… first time in a long time. I slept well because I felt whole. I felt the vibe of the crowd and their support. I felt home… that’s the drug wrestling is. That’s the rewarding high… It makes you feel invincible. Not going to lie Alton, I’m feeling pretty damn powerful.
She says with a large smile on her face.
Bobbinette: John knows who I am… he’s not like the younger generations. Of course, granted he likes to talk as if I’m this terrible monster. It’s probably because I shot him down years ago.
She shrugs her shoulders.
Bobbinette: Back when he and Mario were playing games with trying to manipulate me. You know? He is the perfect example of why I have avoided relationships in wrestling. Unfortunately, in this world there are far too many toxic idiots like him. He’s a walking cautionary tale.
She sighs as she keeps looking through apartments on her phone, the prices are over 2k a month for most of them.
Bobbinette: At this point, I’m no longer impressed by people threatening to kill me. I’ve survived it all. So, threatening to kill me or wanting to kill me; you know? I’m hearing that out of way too many people’s mouths lately. Wanting me dead? it’s not even that creative anymore. Just like bringing up Shane Reynolds, it’s a rinse and repeat at this point.
She rolls her eyes and tosses the phone down next to her.
Bobbinette: Sektor is always good for bringing up the past. Anyone else, I might expect more from. But microaggressions and racist undertones? Congratulations, John Sektor is back everyone!
She makes a gagging noise.
Bobbinette: As a black woman, of course, I have to wear a weave. Because insulting my natural hair and my heritage is a two-for-one bang for your buck! Again, the fact that these are things that he’s holding on to and still using in this day and age? It’s depressing and pathetic. But not surprising because of who it is.
She looks out the window as Alton drives past the entrance of her old apartment. Her face twinges with a pang of sadness.
Bobbinette: Honestly, he and Simon deserve each other. And I don’t mean that in a weird homoerotic way, I mean that in a factual way. So, I’m in a match with this transphobia insect here with his micro aggressive racism. They were the originals in HOW. You would think with all that time, their minds would have matured but it hasn’t. Whereas I progressed and I’m trying to bring in a woke air of understanding and compassion. Yet, they make a mockery of everything I stand for.
She puts her head back in her seat.
Bobbinette: That’s what so many attempt to do, and with the current wrestling fan base? They take the side of the ones with less woke beliefs. I didn’t expect the celebrations or the cheers that I was getting at home. But, I do know what to expect in the ring with Sektor. He phoned it in big time last week. This week he won’t be as lackluster.
She has a smile on her face at the prospect.
Bobbinette: I mean, I have more than just Conor looking out for me at this point. As weird as it was that he left before I could say anything. STRONK has shown genuine concern and has come out to help me… Sektor has the EPU… I’d be more worried about STRONK than the EPU. John wanted this match though. He’s not going to care about the struggles that have happened to me the past few months. He doesn’t know what I’ve been through. I know he wasn’t the one who was trying to kill me. He’s so obsessed with Jatt and their petty bickering. He wouldn’t be covert about it, he would be directly right in my face. Just like this match will be.
She stretches her arms pushing in an effort to stretch her muscles. She switches her shoes putting on a pair of sneakers.
Bobbinette: The positive is that, I know that John has a panache for not being subtle at all. Knowing that, I know that he would not be able to be the person behind all the misery I’ve suffered. It makes this more of an enjoyable match for me. Almost like he’s just ol’ reliable… you can always depend on him to have an ego and turn everything into issues as to why he deserves more than anyone else. The epitome of white privilege personified by this man. He actually makes Christopher America look humbled, sometimes, that’s the most disturbing thing I’ve ever realized.
The limo pulls up to an abandoned building on a more runned down looking part of Chicago. Bobbinette beams looking at the building.
Bobbinette: Conor’s supposed to meet me here to train some… it’s beautiful.
Alton looks at the building with a bit of disgust at how much of a hole this place appears to be.
Bobbinette: It needs a little work, but this is going to be my new Chicago home. An old factory with a ring in the center. It’s got some really good bones. For right now, I’m only going to work out here. But next time we are in Chicago it will look different. But, for now it is a great training place. Sektor asked for this and as the old adage says ‘be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it.’
Alton nods as he parks the limo and lets her go inside. We see her walk to a smaller ring wiping her feet before we fade out on this abandoned looking building the QOE is working out in.