As I explained to anyone with basic elementary level reading comprehension, I have returned to HOW to create cash money big fights. Fights so big, I can swim in a bathtub full of my purse winnings. This is High Octane Wrestling, the domain of the brutal shit talking gentleman (or gentlelass, of course) and yet, since I walked down to that ring and declared my intent to be a member of the punch, fight, tap, tap division… I have seen nothing but cowards.
Cowards who proclaim that they are above such things as becoming the champion of the High Octane Fighting Division. These absolute wastrels will keep telling us until they’re blue in the face that me and Mike staking our claim to High Octane’s hottest division means that we are afraid to challenge for the World Championship.
Mike is the longest reigning World Champion of all time, he has the most title wins out of anyone. I have the second longest record of all time. Do you think we are cowards because we are putting our bodies on the line in HOW’s most brutal division? The division where you could literally be putting your life on the line when you step into the cage? The division where Lee Best bought a whole fucking fight boat because of how technically brutal and illegal the fights that happen within that cage are?
Fuck, we need to fight in international waters!
Yet, every little pathetic little ne’er-do-well who fancies their chances of stumbling into the cage against me or my pal Michael always seem to do the same song and dance. They try to pretend that becoming the champion of fighting is somehow a lesser accomplishment than that of any other HOW division.
So let me make this clear to every puddin’ thick brain who listens to me today.
I didn’t return to High Octane to wrestle.
I returned to fight.
I could snap my fucking fingers and get a spot in War Games if I wanted to. I have left every single War Games match I’ve entered with a championship around my waist. Do you really think I’m AVOIDING going back into that match? Fuck, if I went in this time, I might actually win the bloody thing considering how lackluster the precious BEST ALLIANCE has been over the past few months. The less said about the conglomerate of poors the better. I assume half of them will die of starvation before they even enter that War Games match. Japan is very expensive, after all. Particularly Tokyo. I suppose Zeb could try and go down to the local koi pond and try and feed his team mates but I can’t say I’m particularly hopeful.
I find this concept that the HOFC division is some form of evasion to be irritating. The best tag teams in the world compete to earn the World Tag Team Championships. The best wrestlers in the world compete to earn the World Championship.
The best fighters in the world?
We’re shooting for that High Octane Fighting Championship.
I’m a submission specialist, of course I would want to fight in the fucking HOFC.
Brian, why are you not aiming for glory? Why are you not aiming for gold? Why are you trying to bum everyone out with how sad and pathetic you have become? You have been presented an opportunity of a lifetime – stand in the cage against the man who humiliated you, the man who has always been a thorn in your side, the man who basically stole the Hall of Fame spot you were dreaming of five years ago. Yet, you’re too sad?
If I was in your shoes, my muscles would be tight, my face would be scrunched and my training regime would be intense. You were a former World Champion for Christ’s sake. You were the number two goddamn seed when this place relaunched. I was barely worth considering. Grow up.
I etched out a new path and you rested on your laurels. Look where we are now.
That formula may not win anymore but I think that’s your intent. That’s exactly why I’m not sleeping on you. I know what you’ve done, I very much know what you’re capable of. Do you think I’m going to start buying into this sad sack “pity me” routine?
You annoy me Brian, not because of your losing streak but that your sad sack routine is costing me money.
You will tap.
That is all.