For fuck sakes… we’re really gonna do this shit again?
Mike versus Scotty in HOFC round ninety-seven?
Feels like it at least.
I honestly have like nothing left in the tank to say about you… and I haven’t been paying attention to you over the past couple months to even know what to say about you. With the whole me not giving a shit about what you’re doing… and I was dead.
But I can take one guess what you’re gonna say.
You’re gonna shit on me trying to be some kind of bargain basement, K-Mart Blue Light Special, Amazon knock off brand version of ChristPlow. Being killed, coming back to life… that was a Mike Best idea! No one ever thought of doing that before him! So let me just cut ya off there before you even try to head down that alley Mike. I’m nothing like you… something I know you’ll be all too quick to agree with. And you’re a hundred percent right, no argument here. I’ve never been anything like you… even though there are parts of me that would LOVE to be like you. I’d be fucking dumb to not idolize your title reigns and ability to verbally assainate anyone you meet. I mean that later has made you a garbage human being… but who isn’t in HOW? Guess we can share that.
Though I know you will… or should admit I’ve been one of the few to come close to taking you down in this arena of HOFC. It’s why we have had so many great fights over the years, with me coming oh so fucking close. But as you’ll be the first to say, being close doesn’t mean shit. So do I give in to the futility of this match… knowing what the result will ultimately be? Or do I lean into the insanity of fighting the same match over and over, expecting a different result? Oh, you already know the answer to that Mike… here comes the insanity.
Cause I know deep down, under all the hatred we have for each other is this fucked up, barely held together respect. It’s why you picked me for your team. You know the demons in my head better than anyone… and you know I’ll stop at nothing, ignore all rational thought and cause utter fucking chaos in that War Games match until I have nothing left. It’s true insanity… one I think you respect and know is better to have on your side, than against it.
That or you just wanted a fucking punching bag to take all the abuse for your other team members. Probably more realistic than thinking there is anything fucking deep to the character that is Mike Best. It may just be Eat, Sleep, Bury Motherfuckers.
So what is there left to even say about each other? Oh, my red dreads are back. I know how much you and everyone loved them Mike, so had to bring them back. Can’t wait to hear your compliments about them. I just tossed some Miracle Grow on my head and they grew like all Hell. Speaking of hair, I see you shaved your head. Nice, now you look even more like the dick you are. Still looks better though than when ya spiked those bleach blonde tips years ago.
How about we just start with a support group for wrestlers who have died and came back to life? We can get Graystone, Kostoff… Disturbed weren’t wrestlers, but I think we can include them too. We can share things like how I haven’t slept a minute since I came back. Is that normal? Do you only Eat and Bury Motherfuckers?
Or we can hurl insults back and forth I guess. I’m sure you’ll have something stupid to say about me playing goth at Hot Topic, pretending to be in Hell. Then I’ll say something dumb like you’re afraid to lose to America at War Games, that’s why you’re just a captain.
Either way you know the man you’re gonna get at Chaos inside HOFC. You know the pure anarchy I’ll cause inside that War Games cage. Sure, say loser who get eliminated early on. Drop your shit down on me again from your fucking high perch. It hasn’t phased me before… it isn’t gonna phase me now. One more time Mike… HOFC… It’s gonna be Hell.