::::SCENE: The office of one of Daventry Island’s two resident psychologists, Dr. Abigail Woo. The office is a bit cozier than other psychotherapist’s offices the Ruler of Jattlantis has frequented. He figures it is about 10×10, there is a small bookcase containing various journals next to a mahogany desk in which there is an open laptop, a cream telephone from what appears to be from the late seventies, a couple of picture frames, and a mug filled with pens. The mug with Sigmund Freud’s face on it with a little dialogue bubble that reads “When you say one thing and mean your mother”.
Sitting across from him is Dr. Abigail Woo. She clearly has an unconventional approach to “professional attire” as she is sporting a long tan hand knitted cardigan and a long flowery dress. She sits cross legged on the chair across from him, a yellow legal pad in her lap, and black Papermate pen in her hand.
There is a strong scent of sandalwood from the incense burning at her desk. She looks at him with her dark eyes and continues to grin at Jatt Starr. The Sultan of SeaJattle assumes it is meant to be welcoming or comforting, but it makes him feel uneasy, to the point that shifts in his chair.:::::
DOCTOR WOO: Do you prefer Simon or Jatt?
JATT STARR: Either is fine.
DOCTOR WOO: Simon, do you know why you were sent to see me?
JATT STARR: Because I would rather see you than the guy who looks like Mister Drummond with a pornstache.
:::Dr. Woo looks at Jatt Starr for a moment and makes a thoughtful “Hmm” sound and starts jotting something down which makes the Hero of Jattlanta just a bit more uneasy and nervous.::::
DOCTOR WOO: I understand that you have had an emotional few days.
JATT STARR: That’s putting it mildly.
DOCTOR WOO: The hospital administration frowns upon physical altercations on the premises.
JATT STARR: It was self-defense.
DOCTOR WOO: They have an obligation to maintain the safety of their patients, staff, and visitors. Considering your notoriety and the circumstances surrounding your daughter, it was decided that the parties involved—-
JATT STARR: Yeah, yeah I get it. You have to sign off on a piece of paper in order for me to see my daughter, which is a bunch of malarkey.
DOCTOR WOO: As I was saying, the hospital is choosing to evaluate each of you to ensure another assault does not occur as opposed to pressing any charges.
::::The Jatti Master narrows his eyes and folds his arms across his chest. His lips are pursed as if they were sewn tightly together. Dr. Woo looks at him, no emotion on her face. She continues in a soothing, calm voice.::::
DOCTOR WOO: I would like to hear your side of what happened.
::::The King of Jatten Island sniffs and looks around the office as he feels his uneasiness being replaced by irritability. The same feeling of aggravation that occurred when he stopped smoking and was desperately seeking a cigarette. He would rather see Gilda than be here with this hippie dippy doctor in this very small office located in the middle of this fishing community located six miles off the coast of Maine.::::
JATT STARR: What’s with the incense, doc?
DOCTOR WOO: I find it to be a calming influence on most of my patients.
JATT STARR: Really? All three of them don’t mind?
::::Dr. Woo scrunches her face ever so slightly and makes another “Hm” sound and writes something else down on her pad. The Marquis of MadagaStarr shakes his head and looks at the ceiling and then back to Dr. Woo.::::
JATT STARR: Geez, it was a joke!
DOCTOR WOO: You seem uncomfortable.
JATT STARR: You are very observant.
DOCTOR WOO: Do you always make jokes when you find yourself in uncomfortable situations?
JATT STARR: I don’t know, yeah? Maybe?
::::Dr. Woo uncrosses her legs and leans forward, she places her hand on the glass coffee table between them.::::
DOCTOR WOO: I am not here to judge you, I want to help you. The best way for me to do that is for you to be open and honest with me. I want you to see your daughter but that won’t happen unless you cooperate.
::::El Jattador de Starrcelona looks down at his wrinkled shimmering green shirt and starts subconsciously playing with buttons. A large part of him wants to scream at Dr. Woo for being an insensitive bitch and daring to threaten him (her warm and calming voice be damned) from seeing Gilda. Instead of doing, he blurts an indignant one word response.::::
JATT STARR: Fine.
DOCTOR WOO: Good. Now let us begin with what happened downstairs.
JATT STARR: You already know most of the story.
DOCTOR WOO: Not all of it and not from you.
JATT STARR: Alright, so, my daughter, Gilda, she’s been doing stunts for movies for a few months now. “Movies” is a generous term. They’re basically third rate horror films. She was here shooting something about Cthulhu possessing teens or something ridiculous like that. After a day of filming, she goes into a gas station, for what I have no idea. The place gets robbed, the thief, who was hopped up on something…I heard meth but who knows? Apparently he heard Gilda, it freaked him out and he shot her right in the clavicle. She was lucky it didn’t strike her heart.
:::Until now, the Hero of Jattlanta has been able to keep an even, unemotional tone as recounts the story as told to him by one of the deputies over the phone. He looks away and begins clearing his throat. He feels the anger coming on again, he feels his face get hot, the pain in stomach growing, and his hand is twitching. But he takes a deep breath and finds his calm.::::
DOCTOR WOO: Go on.
JATT STARR: So I get the news and after flying over with three layovers, four cab rides, and a ferry, I come to see my daughter and you know what I get? Wailed on by her mother fucking cursing me, screaming that it’s all my fault. And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have brought up the fact that instead of telling me she had a daughter, she chose to raise him in some demented cult. So fuckface Gary decided to take swing at me so I bitch slapped the fat fuck. Like I said, self-defense.
DOCTOR WOO: What I am gathering is that you feel blameless in this altercation.
JATT STARR: No, I’m not— It could have been handled better for all parties involved.
::::Dr. Woo nods and writes something on her legal pad. She looks up at Jatt Starr from her pad. She notices the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, the wrinkled red and black plaid suit, and the stubble on his face.::::
DOCTOR WOO: When was the last time you slept?
JATT STARR: I don’t know. An hour during the second layover, maybe.
DOCTOR WOO: How many hours of sleep have you gotten since you heard about your daughter?
JATT STARR: Four or five.
::::Dr. Woo starts writing again.::::
JATT STARR: Look, I just want to know what’s going with Gilda. I arrived here on your shithole island five hours ago and I haven’t even seen her, I haven’t even spoken to any of her doctors.
DOCTOR WOO: I assure you, she is in good hands. Doctor Van Houten studied at Johns Hopkins.
JATT STARR: Good for him? It doesn’t change anything! How does that change my circumstance right now while my daughter is clinging to her life?
DOCTOR WOO: You are angry.
JATT STARR: Of course I’m fucking angry!
::::The Baron of Boca Jatton feels the anger once again swelling up inside of him. This incense which is supposed to be “calming” is doing nothing. Instead, he begins breathing heavy, he feels very warm, as if this office were located just outside the gates of hell.::::
JATT STARR: This little shit tweaker that pulled the trigger, they caught him, and you know what his fucking name is? Thaddius Byrd the Third. What the fuck kind of name is that? Do you know is parents own half this fucking island? What does that tell you?
DOCTOR WOO: It does not matter what it tells me. What does it tell you?
JATT STARR: He might get away with it! Thaddius Fucking Byrd the Third.
DOCTOR WOO: You bring up the possibility of his family potentially bailing him out or maybe you are insinuating corruption. You do not know these people, you do not have any evidence to suggest that would do that.
:::Jatt Starr starts laughing which Dr. Woo finds confusing. Before she ask why, Jatt’s laughter stops and instead looking amused, he looks disgusted as if he just watched a homeless man take a dump in Central Park.::::
JATT STARR: In my experience, shitty people do shitty things and get rewarded for it.
DOCTOR WOO: That is a bleak outlook.
JATT STARR: But it’s true. There’s this guy, real douchewaffle, Michael Best.
DOCTOR WOO: Do you usually use this much profanity?
JATT STARR: Do you usually interrupt your patients to check their level of vulgarianism?
DOCTOR WOO: It depends.
JATT STARR: Not often, okay?
:::Dr. Woo nods and brings her thin, dainty hand up signalling to the King of Grapple from the Big Apple to continue.:::
JATT STARR: Anyway, Michael Best. The man is human filth. This is a guy who has blown up abortion clinics, mutilated a woman by stabbing her in the eye, he treats people as if they were wet, snotty tissues, and, oh yeah, he killed a guy.
:::The Champion of Jattanooga looks at Dr. Woo expectantly, wanting her to say something or at least react in some way. She stares at him, stonefaced, which frustrates Jatt, quite visibly.::::
JATT STARR: What? Nothing?
DOCTOR WOO: What would you like me to say?
JATT STARR: I don’t know! Be appalled!
DOCTOR WOO: His actions as you describe them sound reprehensible.
JATT STARR: Yeah! They are! And guess what? He’s a champion, can you believe that?
DOCTOR WOO: I take it you dislike this man.
JATT STARR: I don’t hate him, I don’t like him. I resent him.
::::The Thane of Starrkarth, whether it’s the mounting stresses of Gilda getting shot, the shooter being a junkie who happens to the son of Daventry Island’s wealthiest man, the fact that he has a match for the HOW Championship at ICONIC with what feels like thirty-eight other people, and an extreme lack of sleep, but he cannot help but see Thaddius Byrd III in Mike Best.::::
JATT STARR: I haven’t even tipped the iceberg with all of the shitty shit he’s pulled over the years and yet, the universe rewards him. Championships, gobs of money, and did I mention he’s a bestselling author? Yeah! “I Kneed Jesus” spent something like three weeks on the New York Times bestselling list.
DOCTOR WOO: It sounds like a religious self-help book.
JATT STARR: His idea of religion is pissing in a church. The book is probably about him and his “good pal” Max taking a time machine and kneeing Jesus in the face. But you’re missing the point here, people REWARD his sadism!
::::The Marquis of MadagaStarr continues to allow his bitterness and disgust show as he turns his head away from Dr. Woo and looks at a painting on the wall of a child and, maybe a grandparent, sitting on a dock fishing at sunrise. There is something both consoling and tragic about the painting. Instead of worrying about the painting he turns back to Dr. Woo, who continues to stare at him like a mannequin.:::::
JATT STARR: I’m not saying I’m a saint or anything, but I’m trying to be a better person and what do I get for my efforts? Nada.
DOCTOR WOO: Someone one told me that any change, even a change for the better, is almost always accompanied by drawbacks.
JATT STARR: Yeah, good for me.
::::The Monarch of MancheStarr audibly sighs.::::
JATT STARR: It bothers me that someone that awful outside of the ring is so much better than me.
DOCTOR WOO: Talent and character are not mutually exclusive.
JATT STARR: I get that! Look, it’s not even that he’s younger than me, you know? He’s also stronger than me, quicker than me, more athletic than me, and infinitely more successful than I will ever be. I wish I could attribute it to him being the boss’s bastard son, but that’s not the case. He’s too damned good….and he’s so fucking flippant about it. He legit makes you think there’s nothing you can do.
DOCTOR WOO: He makes you feel helpless.
:::There is a pause, not for dramatic purposes, not so that the Ruler of Jattlantis can formulate a well thought out, cohesive, response….it’s reluctance because saying it out loud somehow legitimizes his feeling.:::
JATT STARR: He does. He makes me feel so fucking small and worthless. And while I am here, baring my soul to you, in the hopes you sign your little paper or send your little email to whomever is charge to grant me permission to be here for Gilda, he’s probably in Vegas dropping ten grand at the roulette wheel while snorting cocaine off a stripper’s bare ass.
::::Jatt Starr places his arms on the armrest of the chair and he begins subconsciously scratching at the fabric, a little tick that Dr. Woo notates on her legal pad as he continues talking.:::::
JATT STARR: When that little shit, Thaddius, shot my daughter, my initial response was shock then anger then guilt and then this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. So, you see where I’m going with this, don’t you? I can’t go to my daughter and say “Gilda, you just hang on, I’m going to take down Mike Best and win the HOW Championship at ICONIC for you” or “Don’t worry Gilda, they’re going to make this Thaddius Byrd cocksucker pay for what he did to you”. Because that would be a lie. Generally speaking, people in positions of power can do whatever they want to whomever they want whenever they want and avoid any long term repercussions.
DOCTOR WOO: You have a match coming up. Considering what you have told me about Mike Best, someone you have no shot at defeating, why bother going through with it? Just for my own curiosity.
JATT STARR: Because I can’t let anybody down. Just because I know I can’t beat Mike doesn’t mean they know it. They can believe what they want to believe, they paid their hard earned money to see the Jattlantic City Idol.
DOCTOR WOO: I see.
JATT STARR: Look, I know you are just doing your job and I must seem like I’m all over the place. It just pisses me off that people like them get to do whatever they want and we just let them. I know there’s nothing I can do about it and that’s something I have to accept, like I have to accept that as much as I want to end Mike Best’s run a champion, it’s not going to happen. Did I also mention we have a convicted killer carrying a championship? Yeah, they rewarded a murdered. Fucked up, right? At least I’m pretty certain I can kick his ass. Sorry, I’m just rambling now.
DOCTOR WOO: Do you think you can control this aggression you have towards the circumstances relating to your daughter’s shooting moving forward?
JATT STARR: Yes, I can just bottle it up, bury it deep down inside myself until ICONIC when I can explode in a volcano of rage and fury, if it gets me to see Gilda.
::::Dr. Woo closes her notepad and stands up and walks behind her desk. She pulls out a prescription pad and starts writing.::::
DOCTOR WOO: I am giving you a prescription for Valium, I think you need—-
JATT STARR: You can’t do that, doc. I am alcoholic, I can’t drink or take any pills.
::::Dr. Woo looks up from her desk to see Jatt Starr has risen from the chair and is standing across from her on the other side of the desk. She proceeds to cross out the prescription.::::
DOCTOR WOO: Fair enough. I think you are sleep deprived and you were not acting rationally. What I think you need is a good night’s sleep. I recommend you go to a hotel and get some rest. The Gwydion on Lolotte Street is very nice and a pretty decent room service menu. What I am going to do is schedule you an appointment with me tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m., we will have another evaluation, if all goes well, you will be cleared to visit your daughter if her doctors are allowing visitors.
:::::The King of Jatten Island feels like he was punched in the gut with a fist full of disappointment. He finds himself getting upset but he needs to keep it under control. As he puts on a smile phonier than a porn star’s breasts, he tells himself….::::
JATT STARR: Sounds perfect.
::::…..that there are plenty of things to do for the next seventeen plus hours. He could investigate one of those ancestry research sites and see if this Thaddius Byrd III has any relatives located near Plainview, Texas. Perhaps go to the local bookstore and see how marked down “I Kneed Jesus” has been (he hopes it’s less than three dollars) then buy a copy, burn it, and then sprinkle the ashes in the filthiest toilet he can find. Or maybe, it would just be smart to just close his eyes, listen to some Alanis Morissette and fall asleep. END SCENE.::::