“I almost killed a man, Devin.”
FADE: HOW’s newest nobody with a past, Sean ‘Triple X’ Stevens, stared deeply into the camera. Running his fingers across the area where some of the most beautiful, long, golden locks used to reside. The now military style buzzed cut, blue-eyed badass smirked.
TRIPLE X: In a wrestling match. For a wrestling belt,” he shook his head at the absurdity of it all. “For a fucking Championship title, that I could’ve purchased an exact replica of on eBay for four hundred bucks,” the snicker turned into a hearty laugh.
TRIPLE X: How’s that for boring? It all seems so ridiculous now that I think back on it. Since then, I got married, had a child, generated a lot of money, and retired as one of the top wrestlers on the circuit that I performed. Imagine if that poor guy actually died? All of the things that I love … that I cherish … all of the things that legit make me happy wouldn’t be here today. All because the guy beat me for my title and annoyed me afterwards by talking shit about it.
“I almost threw my entire life in the garbage just because I couldn’t take a joke.
“And, if you asked me if I’d do it again, the answer is: absolutely.”
CUEUP: Dramatic lightning, or whatever dumb CGI effect that’ll get this idiot’s attention.
TRIPLE X: Very few people know me on this circuit, and I’m okay with that. You thought calling me a nobody was offensive because you haven’t grasped the concept of what it takes to be successful in this industry, not knowing that,” finger quotes. “under the radar means my job just became that much easier.
“Let me help you find your tongue, Rookie.
“Some people consider me a very bad guy. My son thinks I’m the greatest human being known to man, and my wife thinks I’m husband of the decade. I am whatever it is I need to be in order to get the results that I want.
“You called me Trippy in your promo. I’ve beaten people up for less.
“Luckily for you I don’t want to hurt you. Luckily for you, I’ve matured over the years, and understand that I don’t have to drain myself by going Super Saiyan on every opponent I face, especially the ones like you that pose no threat to me.
“But, if I almost killed a man for something as trivial as hurting my feelings … and, if I’ve openly admitted that I’d do the exact same thing again, trading in everything that makes me happy, for a lifetime vacation in an eight by eight cell, I think it’d be wise of you to shut the fuck up.
“But, that’s just me.
“You be cool now, you hear?
“There’s literally no chance that you’ll ever beat me, but this lesson could do wonders for your future, little buddy. Just do me a favor, ok? Don’t exasperate the situation. Take the experience, and go on to the next thing.
“Please, please, pretty please … Do not piss me off.”