High Octane Wrestling
Published: Written by: Noah Hanson

We are taken to a video shot of Noah and Darin Zion during their time in Pro Wrestling X. Yeah I know talking about that place around these parts kinda pisses people off. See Lee never really liked PWX or John Pariah that is why I never understood totally why he decided to bring in the man and a few of the other people that had dealings with PWX back then. See why bring in someone from a rival company, a company that you thought below you, hell let’s be frank here HOW has always looked at itself higher than just about anyone else does. I mean don’t get me wrong HOW has always looked good. It was always THAT place, the place that after Global Wrestling for me was always going to be the next logical place to try and hone my craft. Now I know that when people see me and Zion back then they see two dudes that were just out there having a blast. We loved doing what we were doing, we worked for a place we were passionate about and we were loyal. Hell you can even through Brian Hollywood in that mix as well. I mean we may not have been a click but we were pretty damn close. Hell there was even times where the three of us were so far away from each other, well I was the one that had the distance Hollywood and Zion would run together after my last failed run in HOW. I mean we don’t need to start talking about that again at least not out here in public anymore. I mean really what would be the point anymore. I got saddled with Zion or if you ask him he believes it’s the other way around. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with the man. Maybe he spent to many months pushing files and doing data entry maybe he has just finally snapped.

I really have tried to be patient, tried to understand just where Darin is coming from but you what? I am just not finding any answers, I don’t get it, he keeps running his mouth  to just about anyone and everyone that is listening or probably even to a few that might not even be paying attention but we got paired up like it or not we are together. Now notice I didn’t say we were working together just that we have been paired together for this crazy hybrid type match. You know sometimes Lee Best is doing his best PWX impression and mixing different kinds of matches and seeing if they work. You know he thinks he is inventing the next Reese’s Cup you know he hopes that by combining a Wargames match with elements of a X-Division match and maybe sprinkle in a Ladder Match as well that you come out with something like this. Now is this going to work? The fuck if I know, what I do know is that this match is going to cause a lot of chaos, it is going to draw attention away from the main event, maybe for all the wrong reasons. People might get busted up, people might be getting carried out but you know what if the “God of HOW” decrees it then so shall it be done. I know that me and Zion probably are not the favs to win this match but I am going to do everything I can to fucking had each and every motherfucker in this match a big bag of dicks to eat while this match is going down.

So yeah call me a little bitchy these days, listening to Zion run his mouth day after day after day wears a person down after a while. I mean from his consistent bitching about being left out of the Wargames, to not getting his penis pump in the mail yet, to his old friend Brian Hollywood not responding to his fifty fucking tweets, his twenty god damn voice mails and the dude even sent him a video bitching and moaning about bitching and moaning. I mean I don’t know what a migraine is supposed to feel like but sometimes I think Darin is getting closer and closer to transitioning to a female and really fucking soon. And no for the last fucking time we are NOT calling ourselves Sex and Money if someone asks me about that again I swear I am going to lose my shit and just soil my pants in front of everyone.

I just don’t get it, if you didn’t wanna be my partner why in the fuck did you keep running your dick licker to Lee in the first place. You know the man was going to shove a dick sandwich right in your mouth if you kept pushing his buttons and you know what happened he pulled out a penis shaped baguette, threw some mangina on it, topped of with head cheese and topped if off with Lee’s Special Sauce. Make sure you get that shit trademarked Lee if can only benefit you in the long run. But you see Darin you have never been able to keep that damn yapper shut when it needed to be sealed like a god damn Ziploc baggie. And that is why Lee handed you a shitty sandwich with a nice glass of aged Hanson to go along with it. But that really should have never really shocked you, there is no way you come into this match thinking that Lee screwed you, you as usual screwed yourself and now you get to pay the price and I guess that means you get to team with the “feeble old man” you know the way you talk I might as well drive a fucking rascal to the ring and just let you do all the heavy lifting. You know what I am not even sure I wanna show and even have to stand next to you. I have grown tired of all the bullshit from the day I came back. I have had to listen to you for weeks now just bitch and moan about me at every turn. You come down at the OCW show a while back saving Curt Cannon from me and you are now all of a sudden acting worse than I was. And this would be where pot introduces himself to the kettle because now you’re the one acting like a giant vagina but you know the difference between the two do us. I won’t sit here and drag this bullshit out like you do. I won’t just blabber on Twitter all fucking day like I have nothing else better to than to bitch about how everything is just falling a part in my life. You see I don’t NEED the tag belts, doing fine on my own without you and without HOW and you know what THAT took a while for me to figure out.

I mean I looked at myself for a long time in the mirror man, realized that beating myself up over all this was pointless. I’m not like you anymore Darin, I don’t need Lee’s approval nor do I need to be in his good graces to be honest he can go fuck himself most days. But I wanted to see this through, if HOW goes down so be it, I’ll be there getting abused as the ship sinks once again. I can handle it, my skins gotten tougher thanks to my last run with HOW so at least one good thing came outta that mess and that was it takes a lot more than everything going currently to not make me smile if I get a chance to screw any of you fucking Lee Best lapdogs over. I mean you call yourselves wrestlers, you call yourselves talent but you are puppets, lemmings, Lee drops the soap and each and every one of you are bending and grabbing ankles. Me? I am simply standing there with my dick in one hand and the soap in the other and just waiting my turn. I know I don’t matter, I know in this place I am dirt and you know what I’m used to it now. I know my place and I have gracefully and willfully embraced it. I wrap my arms around my place in this company and pull it closer, I feel the cold, dark, empty arms around me and it chills me, I know that there is nothing here for me and yet I’m here anyway. Am I lemming? Hardly…blind is more accurate. My mind tells me to walk away, to never look back, my heart wants to me hang myself in the middle of the cage and see if that gets any sorta reaction from the cold HOW masses but in the deepest part of my soul I already know the answer to that. I know that when I was recruited it was different than all the other recruiters and fedheads that came calling offering me all kinds of riches and royalties. I looked at that 97red and I thought “Why not me?”. The correct answer and the answer that will remain for all my career is “It will NEVER be you.” I have been to blind to see that, to jaded by the old days when feds rewarded hard work, when fedheads cared about everyone not just certain people or their pals. And believe me I know my place, why do you think I’m back, not because I know I am going to the top of HOW. No, I know the only place in HOW for me is under the boot of Lee Best. I mean you look at Scott Stevens, the man the net calls the “Lonesome Loser” and he has been HOW World Champion that…that tells you everything you need to know.

I don’t know why I am being paired with Zion and to be truthful it doesn’t matter. I will bleed, I will get busted up and you know what? I’ll do it with a simple smile on my face and middle finger in the air. So Egg Bandits you’re gonna get scrambled, LOD…come on really Kostoff…Kostoff…the machine of this business, I am already figuring I am going to be getting sized up by him at some point in the match so just like Al Bundy used to say “Let’s Rock”. I don’t know why they keep bringing this knuckle dragger back from the pits but here we go again, the neanderthal, the cave dweller, Kostoff Smash all in one match.

I mean I get it why me and Zion are in this but you have Hollywood on another team. Someone else that I have shared car rides to shows with, partied with and considered a friend at one time and this man is even worse than Zion. Not a damn word from this man in months, I think he could give a shit about me to be completely frank. But I guess I shouldn’t be shocked in that at all, he is to busy in his mansion with all his money, his fast cars and even faster women. I mean why would he want to talk to someone like me, I get it I really do. I’m not good enough for you anymore. Oh I was when we were running PWX as Sex and Money and when you wanted to get me in HOW I was important enough then but now that I am doing my own thing, now that I am having success away from HOW. Now I’m nothing, you can’t even shoot me a text….

Can’t be shocked about that, really I shouldn’t be. People come and go as friends or whatever I was for most people. A prop, a step ladder, a shoulder to cry on whatever I was needed to be I was and did the best I could to help get them over the hump even at the expense of myself.

I can see myself reaching for the belt, my fingers stretching as far as they can reach. My back stresses and tightens as I push myself farther and farther, the belts are right there waiting for me to grab, calling out for me, redemption? No, that was never what this was all about, I don’t get a Happily Ever After, I don’t get what I want in all of this. See when I reach for the belts, I see the belts laughing at me, I see the fans in the audience mocking me. I see Darin Zion pointing at me, his arm around Hollywood and that is when I realize this is all one big joke and I am the punchline, that is how this all plays out. It is worse than it was the last time, I hate myself more than you could ever understand, the smile, the hand out reached to grab whatever it is to sign that is me pushing it all down, that is me accepting it all, welcoming it, embracing it. I know my place…believe me I know just where I belong in all this. Darin, you said you don’t need me to win this, you said that you don’t need “Ol’ Yeller” well maybe I can do ya one better and maybe just sit my happy ass on the outside of the ring and just let you prove to the world just how much better off you are without me. You writing me off? Guess that is just par for the course in HOW, not that anyone here ever gave a damn about me from day one but I always thought that even if Hollywood failed me you, you’d never drop me like that. But I guess when the old dog become the dog that can no longer keep up, he just finds a nice cold spot and just waits for the end. That is the only welcoming comfort is death’s embrace…cold but firm. Just what these old bones have been waiting for all these years. And don’t worry Zion, I’m not mad at ya, yer finally doin’ what I’ve been telling you to do for years. You’ve finally gotten that backbone, yer finally taking a stand and I can respect that…

After this though you probably won’t have me around to blame, you won’t have me to use as yer scapegoat. I have known for a while I never belonged in HOW and these days it has come increasingly obvious that I should have never came back. Still don’t know why I did, still am confused about how all that went down but you know what it is what it is. If I do go into the cage you don’t want my help and that is the way it’ll play out. Do it all on yer own pal, be the cold-hearted bastard the world has needed you to be. Be Lee Best and just throw caution to the wind, hell make the old man proud and lose an eye during the match it’ll make the boss proud of you for once. Me? I think I am just going to sit this whole thing out. I am going to find a nice spot either inside or outside of the ring and just let you fuckers murder each other. Silent Witness, Stevens, Kostoff, O’Dell, Hollywood, Jace, Egg Bandits good luck, someone is going to make a name for themselves, one team is going to make history and then you’ll have me sitting somewhere, not involved just the way it should be…

I usually do a cute little into, maybe a hip track that is playing on my Spotify but to be honest I am just not feeling any of that today so let’s just set up the scene shall we?

It’s my bedroom, nothing special about just TV mounted on a wall, Cassandra is still with her parents taking care of the baby. I have had a lot of trouble sleeping lately I guess you could chalk it up to not being next to the woman I love and the concern over the baby being OK. I mean I have a lot of sleepless night, usually have a bottle of water on my nightstand and that also leads to trips to the head in the middle of the night. But tonight my shoulder is bothering me, I roll to the right side and it just flares up with pain, not sure why so I grab a pillow and try to roll to the other side and see it helps but it doesn’t. I struggle to get to a seated position on the side of the bed and then rub my shoulder with my left hoping to get some of the pain to subside. I grab a small bottle of ibuprofen, I tip the bottle and let five little maroon pills fall into my hand, I toss them in my mouth and take a long drink of the luke warm water from the bottle and then return the bottle to the night stand.

I sit there and run my hand through my hair it’s basically frustration and lack of sleep. I stumble to the bathroom and hit the head and then stare into the mirror, “Is this all worth it?” I say to myself. Not like I am going get answer or anything. So I just continue to stare, waiting for something anything to happen but nothing comes sooner and I slowly stumble to the bed and fall face first on it. My hand searches for the Roku remote, after a few moments success and I bend my arm backwards and press the “Home” button, I have to do this a few times before I hear the familiar tone of ‘Sportscenter’ blare and I sigh loudly. Maybe Zion is right,maybe it is time for all of this to be over, maybe the world is better off with me not in it.

I mean that is what he keeps pounding into my head, Old, feeble, over the hill, doesn’t need me. So why bother trying anymore, just walk away, coming back to HOW is now my second biggest mistake. I mean coming here the first time was the biggest fuck up I have ever made but now this one. Brian…I laugh as I think about the good times we used to have…used to have is the key in all that. And the first time I will have seen him in like well over a year and it will be in a match where we aren’t even on the same team or on the same page for that matter. I really don’t wanna fight him. Hell I might not even put up any fight at all, if he needs to bloody me, great, if him and Jace walkout with the belts and Darin breaks down even further then maybe it is something I should consider.

My shoulder hurts so bad so this time I try a few shoulder rotations to see if it helps but it doesn’t so I grab a couple Tramadol and a beer, grab my phone and sit in the dark and just sit and see if I can numb the pain away, drinking and pills isn’t exactly the best way to handle it but really does it even matter anymore? Does anyone even care? I look around at the empty living room and everything I have done and Darin wants to do it all and then some. He wants to re-invent the tag team division, he wants to blaze new paths. He wants to be the one that carries the tag team division. Great keep plugging away bro. Keep selling yourself a little at a time to people that could give a rats ass about people like us. But you go on yer little crusade pal, you go on to “revolutionize” the tag belts, you want to elevate them. Ha. Funny really you actually believe that shit yer spreading. You really believe that you are going to win the tag belts without me, fine have it asshole. Manage you, go fuck yerself and you can manage yer ass with yer fucking dick shoved straight up there too. But there isn’t any room in that ass cause yer fucking head already been shoved clear up it for quite a while. Fucking manage you? Are you fucking stoned? Are you on concussion protocol my ass will NEVER manage you. I may not even show up, fuck you, fuck the tag belts and fuck it all…

I can’t take it anymore, I have fucking had it, I grab my camera and grab the cameraman and open my living room door. I open it and I push that fucker out…oh and here make sure Darin Zion sees this…

The scene fades with Noah flashing the camera the middle finger and holding up a #PWX4Life shirt…

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