Got To Get Back , Part One
Birds are chirping as the camera pans over a serene, rocky beach setting. It settles on a road, winding along a coastal cliffside landscape, where a limousine whooshes by moments later – slightly out of place in this setting.
We cut to the inside of the limo.
Dan Ryan is sitting, in gear typical of his routine when traveling between shows. He has on blue jeans, a loose t-shirt and lightly tinted sunglasses pulled down over his eyes. He’s looking at the video monitor hanging down from the roof in front of him, watching as the promos for various wrestlers play.
Ryan makes a face like he just ate a lemon several times during the course of this. In the boring parts his eyes drifts to the scenery, then he realizes he’s supposed to be watching this.
“FOCUS!”, he says under his breath, lightly slapping himself in the face.
Just then, a bright flash of light and a huge rush of wind outside the car breaks his concentration and sends the driver swerving to avoid hitting some object now turned sideways across the road in front of him. The limousine skids to a halt, almost parallel with..
Ryan sticks his head out of the passenger door as he steps out onto the slick road.
“What the hell?”
Ryan steps out of the vehicle, walking slowly toward the smoking DeLorean, making a gesture to his driver to stay put. He approaches the DeLorean and gets to within six feet or so when the door pops open, billowing smoke or steam into the air. Ryan takes a step back, then an older man with crazy hair steps out, sees Ryan and rushes over to him, placing his hands on Ryan’s shoulders as he looks up at him excitedly.
“What day is it?!?”
Ryan’s eyes narrow. “Friday.”
“NO! The date!! What’s the date?!”
Ryan’s left eyebrow raises slightly. “November 3, 2019. What date do YOU think it is?”
“Nevermind that. We have important work to do. Get in the car.”
Ryan shakes the man’s hands from his shoulders and steps away. “Get in that thing with you? Who do you think you’re dealing with here??” Ryan leans in and whispers. “Are you on crack?”
The man looks sternly at Ryan, then shakes it off and leans in as well. “Look. Did you recently see a video of a wrestler named ‘Halitosis’ going to a concert, followed by a long speech with far too many Heart references??”
Ryan frowns. “About a week ago.”
The man frowns back. “There must be a malfunction in the time circuits. Another one then, where he shows you video of him in another company or some other match years before??”
Ryan rolls his eyes. “That could be any week.”
“And…” The man gets suddenly intense. “Have you been studying old tapes of …. Let me see if I remember… Cecilworth Farthington…talking about…. SCARVES??”
Ryan gets a more subtle version of the lemon face again and nods. “Yeah, unfortunately just now in the limo. It’s an Infirmary match for the ICON and World Titles. I have to be prepared.”
“What’s an Infirmary match?” The old man frowns.
Ryan shrugs. “It’s a match… in an infirmary.”
The old man shrugs, shaking his head in a ‘never mind that’ sort of way. He leans in again, as serious as ever. “Look, I just came from the future…”
Ryan chuckles lightly. “The future?”
The old man starts to show a little frustration. “Yes. May, 2025 to be exact. But I need you to come back with me to October 25, 1985. It’s very important!!!”
Ryan sighs. “Ok, I’ll bite. Why do I have to go with you to uh… 1985 is it?”
The old man looks around nervously. “Yes, 1985. There’s no time to waste. We have to go before they find me.”
Ryan smirks. “Before they find you.”
The old man turns to rush back to the DeLorean. “YES, before they find me.”
Ryan shakes his head incredulously. “Before WHO finds you?”
The old man stops in his tracks and turns on a dime, as a screeching noise can be heard down the road.
Just then, a 1981 Volkswagen Van comes careening toward them in the distance. A man fastening some sort of weapon on top of it can just be seen.
The old man’s eyes widen. “Oh my God, they’ve found me. I don’t know how, but they’ve found me.”
Ryan double takes the van as he too hears it coming, then looks back at the old dude. “Wait, WHO found you??”
The old man shouts as he turns and practically dives back toward the DeLorean. “THE LIBYANS!!!”
Ryan turns and looks at the van coming their way again and dashes for the other side of the DeLorean as gunfire rings out on the rocks by the road.
The old man yells out as he slams the door down. “RUN FOR IT, MARTY!!!”
Ryan slides over the top of the car Dukes of Hazzard style, annoyed – and jumps into the car through the open door. “My name’s not Marty. It’s…”
The old man hastily punches some buttons and the car lurches into reverse and quickly accelerates down the road. “There’s no time to explain.”
Ryan gets extremely agitated. “WHAT… THE HELL…IS GOING ON?”
The old man, flustered, grabs a newspaper from the backseat and thrusts it into Dan Ryan’s face. “Look at this!!”
Ryan takes the newspaper and sees the date, May 1, 2025. The headline reads “Former Actress Megan Fox dies in disgrace.” Ryan looks a bit surprised. “Wow. That sucks.”
The old man nods as if to say “Duh.”
Ryan puts the paper down. “What happened? And more importantly, what the hell does this have to do with me?”
The old man focuses on the road, checking the mirror to make sure the Libyans are no longer behind him. “I traced it all back to this date, but I made a miscalculation and got here too late. Shortly before your match at Rumble at the Rock, Cecilworth Farthington took part in a photoshoot with Ms. Fox, causing a tragic chain of events, as they hit it off, she went to meet him later that day, they had sex, she missed an interview with a casting agent who wanted to cast her in Avatar 2, she went into a deep depression, causing a paradox which resulted in a cascade effect leading to a downward spiral for her life and career, ending in a life filled with depression, despair, a career of doing regional flea market commercials and Chlamydia!!”
Ryan nods. “That’s pretty bad sex.”
The old man punches some coordinates into the computer. “I’d say.”
Ryan looks out the window, dumbfounded. “I have to say, I didn’t peg Cecilworth as the kinda guy who wielded that sort of sexual power over someone the caliber of Megan Fox. I think I underestimated him.”
The old man throws a hand up. “Well, he’s sexy and aloof! What’re ya gonna do?”
Ryan nods. “Yeah. Hard to compete with that.”
A few moments of silence pass as rain starts falling outside. Ryan looks through the glass at the water hitting the window, then slaps his hands down on his lap, a newfound resoluteness in his eyes. “WELL. What’s the plan then?”
The old man looks at Ryan hopefully. “So you’re in?”
Ryan smiles. “I’m in.”
The old man smiles, satisfied. “Great!! The plan is to go back to 1985, when Megan Fox’s mother was still pregnant with her and convince her to warn Megan not to let this event happen in the future!!”
Ryan’s eyes narrow a bit. “You mean the past.”
The old man throws up his hands again. “Whatever!!”
Ryan looks up, realizing the road ahead ends in the construction of a new bridge. “Um, I think we’re about to run out of road.”
The old man gets a funny look in his eye, then drops his sunglasses down over his eyes.. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need… roads.”
Ryan’s eyes widen. “Uhhhh, I’m pretty sure you need roads.”
The old man slams the gas pedal to the floor and the car lurches forward as Dan Ryan screams…
A flash of light…
A black screen…
Indian Hills, Kentucky.
The date and title fade into the scene of a darkened bedroom. The large figure of Dan Ryan is lying in bed, a moistened towel over his forehead. He’s barely conscious, delirious. It’s silent, except for the sound of a clock ticking on the bedside table.
A female voice breaks the silence.
“There there. You had a nasty bump.”
Ryan slowly starts to come to.
“I had this horrible dream. I dreamed I was on my way to the show, I was in my limo – there were these horrible horrible promos, then this crazy old man stopped me and told me this wild story about Megan Fox, time travel… Chlamydia. He wanted me to go back in time with him. It was AWFUL!”
The woman, still obscured by the dimness of the room, wipes his forehead with the towel once more.
“Well, it’s all over now. You’re safe and sound now – back in good ol’ 1985.”
Ryan bolts upright in bed, flicking on the lamp next to him. The lights show a young woman, possibly of Irish descent and with a noticeable baby bump sitting next to him. Ryan is flustered, his eyes deceiving him. “You’re… You’re…. You’re….” Suddenly, he gets really calm. “Who are you?”
“My name’s Karen. Karen Fox? I’ve only just been married about a year.”
Ryan looks past her, looking around the room. “You mean it worked??”
Karen gets up, the sounds of two men coming down the hall catching her attention. “That’s my husband and his brother Michael. He’ll know what to do, don’t worry.”
The door opens and two men stand in the doorway. One is an average-sized man, about six foot tall, dark hair, medium build. The other is a shorter man, about five foot seven and is very clearly Michael J. Fox. Ryan’s eyebrows go up. “That’s odd.”
The first man, Karen’s husband Franklin sticks out his hand, though Ryan can’t keep his mind off of the fact that Michael J. Fox is in the room. “Nice to meet you, sir. My wife here says you were just laying out there in the yard. What were you doing out there, if you don’t mind my asking?” Franklin reaches back and slams the door to the room without looking, catching Michael’s hand in the door, as he wasn’t fully inside. Michael instinctively yelps in pain. He starts shaking his hand, trying to work out the pain but as he holds it there, it just shakes uncontrollably.
Ryan nods. “And that’s ironic.”
Just then, a tapping at the window catches Ryan’s attention and he sees the old man outside, trying hard not to be seen but gesturing for him to come. Ryan stammers as he gets up off the bed. “Uhhh, well I just had one too many last night I guess. Um, thanks so much for your hospitality, but I really have to be going.”
As Ryan heads for the door, they follow him through a hallway and to the front. Karen calls after him as he walks out. “You sure you don’t need any help!?!” Ryan waves a hand over his head as if to say no thanks, and the three Fox family members watch him go. “Such a strange boy.” The men look at her oddly.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER….
Ryan jogs down the street briefly and catches up with the DeLorean, where the old man waits, trying to seem inconspicuous. Ryan approaches and climbs inside. “What the hell’s going on??”
The old man looks annoyed. “It didn’t work. The timing’s off and we have to leave right now or we won’t have enough fuel to get back to your own time.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Fantastic.”
The old man looks through the glass, thinking. “Our only chance is to try and go back to the day of the photo shoot and talk to Megan Fox before she goes to the shoot, before she meets this Cecilworth Farthington character, thereby STOPPING her from making the mistake that leads to her demise!”
Ryan nods and gets an expression that screams out “sweeeeet”. “Awesome! I’d love to meet Megan Fox.”
The old man pauses, looking wistful. “Yeah, I’d give her somethin’ to…”
Ryan interrupts, hands in the air. “WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Old people. Sex. Old people and sex. Not here you don’t. Not with me.”
The old man sighs again, putting the car into gear. “Fine. Let’s get outta here.”
November 1, 2019 – 4:30 pm.
Megan Fox, the stunning star of Transformers, Jennifer’s Body, and The Dictator is sitting in her studio apartment. In the front of the apartment is an office where she handles all her business. She’s sitting in the room, facing a large window that faces the main street.
As she relaxes in her chair, her attention is caught by a bright flash of light and a whoooosh of leaves that goes by her apartment outside. She seems concerned, then sees a rather large man and another older man approach her door.
She goes to the door and opens it slightly. The older man combs his hair down with his hand and the other man speaks.
“I’m… sorry to bother you. It’s just that..”
Ms. Fox points at the larger man, a look of recognition on her face. “I’ve seen you somewhere.”
Ryan is a bit surprised. “Oh??”
Megan perks up a bit as she realizes where she’s seen him. “WAIT. You’re a wrestler. Dan Ryan, right?? I’ve been a wrestling fan my whole life!”
Ryan smiles and elbows the old man in the ribs, pointing back at Megan Fox. The old man rolls his eyes, and Ryan straightens his expression back to one of seriousness. “May we come in?”
Megan pulls the door open wide and gestures them in, then goes and sits behind the desk. The two men sit down in chairs arranged on the opposite side of the desk.
“What can I do for you?”
Ryan leans forward a bit. “Well you see, there’s this guy – Cecilworth Farthington – you’re doing a photo shoot with him today…”
Megan nods. “Right. In Shape magazine.”
Ryan nods back. “Exactly. Well you see, I need you to avoid him at all costs.”
Megan looks confused, and eyes the two men cautiously. “But he’s so sexy and aloof.”
“Why is it you want me to avoid him exactly?”
Ryan glances at the old man, then looks back at her. “The thing is…”
The old man interrupts. “The thing is this photo shoot you’re doing with this Farthington character causes a tragic chain of events, as you’ll go to meet him later after the shoot, you’ll have sex, you’ll miss an interview with a casting agent who wants to cast you in Avatar 2, you’ll go into a deep depression and cause a paradox which results in a cascade effect causing a downward spiral for your life and career, ending in a life filled with depression, despair, a career of doing regional flea market commercials and Chlamydia!!”
Megan, looking at them nervously, slyly reaches under the desk. “And… you’re here to stop that from happening…”
Ryan leans in, concerned. “Megan, I don’t want you do end up in flea market commercials. And the Chlamydia, do you know how awful that can be? I mean…”
The old man interrupts, not looking at either of them in the eye, just looking into space as though reliving some unnamed nightmare. “It’s horrible! It could be a painful or burning sensation when urinating, an unusual discharge from the penis, swollen or tender testicles…..”
Ryan holds up a hand, interrupting. “HOOOOOLD on there, buddy. First of all, she’s a woman. Second of all… please never tell me why you know all of that in such detail.”
Megan leans back in her chair, sighing. “Well guys, that’s some story. You know Dan Ryan, when I saw you were signing with High Octane Wrestling, it was pretty exciting. I’ve followed you for years – the championships all over the world, the legendary main events…”
Ryan nods, knowingly. “Of course, of course…”
But Megan shakes her head no, disappointed. “But I never thought it would be you.”
Ryan looks confused. “I’m sorry?”
Megan leans forward, steepling her hands on the desk. “One day when I was a little girl, this old lady came by, said we were related – I didn’t see a resemblance – and said someday this crazy old man and a big wrestler from a place called High Octane Wrestling would come by, warn me about Cecilworth Farthington, and try and get me to not sleep with him.” She slowly pulls out a revolver. “And if that ever happened….”
Ryan and the old man burst out of their chairs for the door as Megan Fox opens fire behind them, bullet holes appearing in the wall and windows beside the door, shattering the glass into a million pieces. They make it through, dashing into the street as Megan walks slowly but purposefully behind them, Jason-style, gun up and firing. She calmly drops out the clip and reloads, still walking, and continues firing. Ryan rushes into the street and turns – just as an 18 wheeler comes dangerously close.
TENSE MUSIC!!!!!!! – THEN!!!