Refueled LXXXV
  • Event Type: weekly

Refueled LXXXV

Event Date: January 30, 2022 at 10:00 pm

The Opener

We’re LIVE, pal! The HOTv logo flashes across the screen, followed by the logo for High Octane Wrestling, as the camera pans over the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA. One of the most savage crowds in all of wrestling is already amped and ready to go, and they don’t have to wait long… it looks like this week’s show is going to open in familiar fashion. 

 

HALLLLLLELUJAH! 

HALLLLLLELUJAH!

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

HALLEEEEEEEELUJAH! 

 

Emerging from behind the curtain in the ICONIC 7:59 shirt that debuted last week in New York, Michael Lee Best steps out onto the stage with a microphone already in hand. He poses at the top of the entranceway, enjoying the usual mixed reaction that a shitbag Hall of Famer is able to get from the HOW faithful. 

Joe Hoffman: Hello and welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of HOW Refueled! I’m Joe Hoffman, and we’re live in Philadelphia for the second night of action in the Maurako Cup. Plus, Conor Fuse defends the HOW World Championship in tonight’s main event against Hall of Famer… can’t believe I’m saying that… Scott Stevens! First, however, it looks like we’re going to hear from the Son of God himself… the man who last week, announced his retirement at March To Glory. 

Michael pauses at the top of the ramp, holding the microphone in front of his mouth.

Mike Best: Michael Oliver Best isn’t here tonight. That leaves me in charge.

The bastard Son twirls the microphone over in his hand, as the crowd reacts to that statement with various shades of cheers and boos. 

Mike Best: I’m not making any changes to the card or doing anything crazy, don’t worry. But since I am officially a non-wrestler, now, I figured I’d just go ahead and run the show in the absence of my Undead Uncle. So fuck it… what do you guys wanna talk about? I have all the time in the world.

He smirks, looking out at the crowd. Fans begin yelling things at the HOW Hall of Famer like this is some kind of improv show, though, so he holds a hand up to silence them. 

Mike Best: I sincerely don’t care. I was obviously kidding. Let’s see… Conor Fuse threw away a pretty cool babyface run to reform a stable that was played out a decade ago, so that’s pretty cool. Arthur Pleasant is back… I guess he used to work here? 

A shrug. 

Mike Best: I don’t know, I’m pretty checked out, to be honest with you. I promised the Notorious M.O.B. that I’d be here until March to Glory so that we keep selling out these arenas, but I don’t really have much to say this week. I did check a chance to check out Fisher PRIME Wrestling, which is pretty cool. It’s very blue, and a perfect fit if you’re in the key demographic of “really likes HOW but can’t win titles there”. 

Michael Lee Best continues down the ramp with the microphone in hand. As he passes the midway point on the ramp, Clay Byrd walks out onto the ramp and the crowd begins to cheer. Mike smiles at the crowd and continues his tirade. 

Joe Hoffman: Business is about to pick up here in Philadelphia! 

Mike Best: Actually, you know what? Let’s talk about PRIME. Because I have some– 

The Behemoth walks down the ramp while Mike Best continues his ranting. Just as he’s about to finish the line, he feels the giant paw of Clay Byrd on his shoulder. Clay spins Mike around and smashes him with a right hand. 

Joe Hoffman: Big right hand by Byrd! Here we go! This is what everyone wanted to see at Iconic! 

Mike stumbles backwards down the ramp and Clay is on him before he can collect himself. He smashes Mike Best across the face with a Texas Lariat sending him sliding and rolling the rest of the way down the ramp.

Joe Hoffman: Texas Lariat! Texas Lariat! 

Clay scoops up the microphone and pounces on Michael Lee Best driving the microphone into Best’s forehead over and over again. The EPU begins to race down to ringside, but Clay doesn’t care. He grabs Best and puts him up in a crucifix position. The Monster from Plainview holds Mike Best there for a moment, showing his domination of HOW’s icon. 

Joe Hoffman: This is a beatdown! Absolutely brutal! NO! NO! 

As the initial small EPU wave is met by a second wave, Clay throws Kneesus into the air and lets him come crashing down across the steel stairs with a Crucifix Powerbomb. The EPU begins to come in with their batons but Clay manages to snatch one out of the EPU’s hands and begins swinging it in one hand like a madman, while tucking the microphone under his arm. He grabs Mike Best by the hair, and tosses him into the ring. Clay follows, while swinging the baton wildly to keep the EPU at bay. 

Joe Hoffman: I have no idea what Clay Byrd has planned here… but we all saw what Mike Best did to Clay Byrd six weeks before Iconic. And the big man did not let bygones be bygones. 

Clay throws a limp Mike Best into the corner, and follows him with the microphone in hand.

Clay Byrd: LOOK AT ME!

Clay grabs Michael by the cheeks, like he’s a child. Michael’s eyes flutter, and roll back into his head. 

Clay Byrd: I SAID FUCKING LOOKING AT ME! 

Clay screams while shaking Mike Best’s face. The EPU has managed to get into the far side of the ring. Clay grabs Mike and throws him to the middle of the ring, sending the EPU scattering back to the outside. The Behemoth walks over, and pulls Michael Best into a partial camel clutch position. 

Clay Byrd: You thought you could just walk away? DO YOU THINK GUYS LIKE US GET TO JUST WALK AWAY? Yer a fuckin’ murderer Mike. Yer the scumbag of fuckin’ scumbags… and you get to just WALTZ INTO THE FUCKIN’ SUNSET LIKE ITS DANCIN’ WITH THE STARS?! 

Clay smashes the microphone loaded hand across the side of Mike’s face multiple times. Clay’s voice goes quiet as he pulls the microphone back to his face. He throws his hair back with his hand before continuing to berate a now bloodied Mike Best. 

Clay Byrd: No Mike, you don’t get to break my arm and walk away. You don’t get to kill Max Kael and walk away, you don’t get to do all the horrific fuckin’ things and just waltz out of here because yer best friend beat the fuck out of ya in seven minutes and fifty seconds. That’s not how it fuckin’ works Mike. That’s not how it works for us. 

The Behemoth looks at the EPU and holds up his finger for one more moment. 

Clay Byrd: I could have fuckin’ killed ya tonight Mike. I could have ended yer life in this very fuckin’ ring. Just fuckin’ choked ya ta death right here, I could of broken yer fuckin’ arm. But I’ll settle fer embarrassin’ ya. Because there’s one fuckin’ thing I want, ONE fuckin’ thing ya owe me. 

Clay’s seething, his veins bulging as he yanks back on the clutch for a moment causing Mike Best to squirm trying to get out. 

Clay Byrd: I want Clay Byrd vs Mike Best at March To Glory, make it happen. 

Clay stands up, dropping a beaten Mike Best to rithe on the canvas. The Behemoth drops the microphone and kicks the baton out of the ring while holding his arms out and dropping to his knees. The EPU storms the ring, batons out, and we fade to commercial.  

Jiles and Dean vs. The Bad Guys

Bryan McVay: Ladies and Gentlemen, our first match of the evening is a first round tag team match in the Marauko Cup! Introducing first!

‘Bad Company’ by Bad Company tears through the Wells Fargo Center.

Joe Hoffman: The Bad Guys will be making their HOW debut here tonight, coming in from SHOOT to make their presence known. I won’t speak for anyone else, but you would have to imagine these team will have a bullseye on their back because no one within HOW will want to lose to a team from SHOOT when it’s all said and done.

Bryan McVay: Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada! Blaze Claymore! Jacob Mephisito! They are… THE! BAD! GUYS!

Mephisto and Claymore make their way down to the ring as the fans boo them and do other things that you would expect from fans in Philly.

Joe Hoffman: These two will have their work cut out for them, that’s for sure.

Bryan McVay: And their opponents!

The lights dim. The arena quiets. A chill moves through the air… “I am the COOL” explodes over the speakers.

I’m the one your mama warned you about
When you see me, I will leave you no doubt
I’m the coolest man that ever walked this earth
I’ve been the coolest since the day of my birth
I AM THE COOL.

Out from behind the curtain, after a second or two of suspense, The Crown Prince of COOL, Cancer Jiles emerges with Bobby Dean. Shades on, hair on point, he pauses at the top of ramp and basks in the glorious affection of his precious OctaBandits. After having his fill, Jiles and Dean confidently makes their way down to the ring and slides on in under the bottom rope.

Bryan McVay: Weighing in at a combined weight of five-hundred-and-ninety-eight pounds! The team of Cancer Jiles and Bobby Dean!

Joe Hoffman: This will be an interesting clash of styles, with Bobby Dean a technnical wrestler, Cancer Jiles prefers more of the high flying style while their opponents, Mephisto and Claymore, prefer to just brawl all day. Hortega will be the ref and he will have his hands full as Jiles and Mephisto appear to be starting this off for their respective teams.

DING DING

Cancer Jiles and Jacob Mephisto circle one another before Jiles bounces off the ropes, ducks underneath a clothesline attempt from Mephisto, and Jiles catches Mephisto with a springboard crossbody that sends both men to the mat. Both men are quick to their feet with Jiles catching Mephisto with a knife-edge chop. Mephisto fires back with a stiff right jab to the face and connects with another one before pushing Jiles into the ropes and connecting with a stiff back elbow to the face. Jiles drops to one knee and Mephisto pulls him up and connects with a double arm jumping pile driver.

Joe Hoffman: Jiles and Mephisto giving it as good as they’re receiving it. Mephisto now bringing Jiles off of the mat, whips him into the ropes, and goes for a shoulder tackle, but Jiles ducks undernath it and Mephisto hits the mat! He scrambles back to his feet only for Jiles to connect with a running knee to the face!

Jiles begins to bring Mephisto up to his feet and drags him over to his corner before tagging in Bobby Dean. Dean slowly makes his way into the ring while Jiles holds Mephisto in the corner. Jiles then connects with a hip toss out of the corner before bouncing off the ropes and landing a stiff elbow across the sternum of Mephisto. Dean makes his way up to his feet and drags Mephisto up with him before whipping him into the corner. Dean rushes full speed at Mephisto and spalshes him in the corner. Mephisto stumbles out of the corner and Dean connects with a gutwrench suplex on his opponent. Bobby grabs Jacob by the back of the head and brings him up to his feet, goes to whip him into the ropes only for Jacob to reverse it and sends Bobby into the ropes before connecting with a dropkick to the right knee. Bobby drops to one knee while Jacob rolls over to his corner and tags in his partner Blaze Claymore.

Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean with the clear weight and strength advantage in the ring, which prompts Mephisto to take out the base of the significantly larger Dean. Blaze Claymore in the ring and he runs off the ropes before drilling the one-kneed Dean with a stiff clothesline that sends Dean onto his back.

Claymore mounts Bobby and slams fist after fist into his face before Dean manages to push Claymore off of him. Claymore scrambles to his feet and catches Dean with a headbutt that sends Bobby into the corner. Claymore slams fist after fist into the body of Dean, which has little impact which prompts Dean to connect with a stiff headbutt of his own. Claymore falls onto the mat from the shot as Dean runs out of the corner and connects with a leg drop across the chest of his opponent. With Claymore down, Dean makes his way over to his corner and tags in Cancer Jiles. He hops into the rope, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a running shooting star press on the prone Claymore. He then goes for the cover.

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

NOOOOOOOO!

 

Joe Hoffman: Jiles trying to get the quick pin after that running shooting star press, but Blaze Claymore isn’t quite done fighting yet. Jiles is now bring Claymore up to his feet and connects with a stiff kick to the left hamstring of Claymore only for Blaze to fire back with a kick to the midsection and and then slamming his knee into Cancer’s face! He’s going to feel that one in the morning.

With Jiles on his back, Claymore drags Jiles over to his corner and tags in Mephisto, who climbs up to the top rope and drops both feet into the midsection of Jiles, who rolls over in a world of hurt. Mephisto yanks Jiles off of the mat and pushes him into the nearby corner where he connects with clubbing blows to the back of Jiles neck before he connects with a German Suplex out of the corner. Cancer lands on the back of his neck and lies prone on the mat, grabbing the back of his head. Mephisto walks over to Jiles and begins to peel him off of the mat only for Jiles to rake his eyes.

Joe Hoffman: No surprise there from Cancer Jiles as he attacks the eyes of Mephisto, which receives the appropriate amount of admonishment from Hortega. Jiles though wastes no time in getting out of the ring and tags back in Bobby Dean who comes in and connects with a snap suplex before floating over into the pin! One, two, no! Mephisto manages to quick out just in the nick of time.

Dean drags Mephisto over to the corner and begins to climb up the turnbuckle before he reaches the middle turnbuckle and goes for a sit down squash on Mephisto only for Mephisto to roll out of the way. Mephisto begins to crawl over to his corner only for Dean to grab his foot and hold him in place. Mephisto twists around and slams his boot repeatedly into the face of Dean, which only enrages Dean as he makes his way up to his feet and slams his foot across the face of his opponent. Dean then drags Jacob to his feet and slams his head across the bridge of his nose before whipping him into the ropes. Dean goes for a back body drop only for Mephisto blast him with a kick to the chest. As Dean shoots back up, Mephisto bounces off the ropes and connects with a flying forearm.

Joe Hoffman: Great back and forth action here between both of these teams, looing for their first victory in the Maruako Cup! Mephisto now trying his luck again at getting to his corner and this time he manages to do it, tagging in Claymore! Blaze roars into the ring and catches a rising Bobby Dean with a snpinning knife edge chop and the look on Dean’s face is one of no bueno.

Dean stumbles into the ropes as Claymore blasts him with a stiff shot to the face. He then whips Dean into the ropes and connects with a claymore that sends Dean crashing to the mat. Blaze makes his way up to his feet and connects with a claymore on an unexpecting Cancer Jiles, sending Jiles crashing to the floor outside. As he does, Mephisto makes his way into the ring and both men watch as Dean rises to his feet. Hortega tries to get Mephisto out of the ring, but Jacob brushes him away and both men connect with a dual axe kick on either side of Bobby Dean’s head, sending the massive man to the mat where Claymore goes for the cover.

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

TRES!

 

DING DING DING

Joe Hoffman: And that will do it as the Bad Guys get the victory here tonight to pick up the points in their first match of the Maruako Cup!

Bryan McVay: And your winners at the eight minute mark… Jacob Mephisto and Blaze Claymore. THE! BAD! GUYS!

Dean rolls out of the ring as Jiles slowly makes his way up to his feet, looking up at the winning team. Mephisto and Claymore look like they are ready for more action.

Joe Hoffman: We’ll have more matches tonight in the Maruako Cup, inlcuding Daron Zion and Xander Azula teaming up to face Jatt Starr and Mario Marauko in our next match while in the main event, we’ve got Conor Fuse defending his World Title against Scott Stevens! We’ll be back after this quick commercial break!

I Dream of Greenie

We return from commercial and go immediately backstage.  As Darin Zion comes into the frame, Blaire Moise approaches him in a quick fashion.  Curious to what’s occurred over the last few weeks, Blaire starts to question Zion, a man she hasn’t talked to much lately.

Blaire Moise:  Darin, last week Jeffrey James Roberts screwed you over…

Darin Zion:  What else is new, Blaire?  Did you come to make me relive terrible memories?  I do a good enough job already at criticizing myself.

Blaire Moise:  No!  The HOW Fans want to know what’s next for Zion.  It seems you and Xander have squashed your differences.  Do you still have aspirations of becoming the HOTv Champion?

Darin pauses for a moment and rips the microphone away from Blaire Moise hands. He glares towards the camera before he continues to speak.

Darin Zion:  I spent a lot of time pondering my next move.  Part of me wanting to start carrying my replica of #97Green around the backstage area like a bitter asshat.

Darin shakes his head while sharing his thought process.

Darin Zion:  But what am I going to accomplish in doing that?  Another Discord ban?  FUCK NO!  What good will that do me?  Hell, I don’t need the boss pissed off at me.  I do a good enough job at attracting annoying heat by existing.  I don’t need to pull a CareyWood to build my relevance around these parts.

Zion slaps his fists together to make a point.

Darin Zion:  No!  I’m going to unleash the dormant beast.  Week by week I’m going to leave a trail of bodies starting with Jatt and Mario tonight.  I’m going to pile up victims left and right until I earn what’s rightfully mine.

Darin’s eyes glaze over like a psychopath.  He lets out a chuckle from out of his stomach.

Darin Zion:  I’m going to win the Maurako cup. I’m going to punch my ticket to March to Glory…and I’m going to get my hands around Roberts neck this time.  But he won’t have the luxury of escaping this time.  NO!  NO! Jeffrey won’t escape my vengeance.

The look of burning intensity continues to fill Zion’s face.  His expression goes blank while a maniacal smile curls around his lips.

Darin Zion:  You see Roberts, you made this issue a personal one with me.  I don’t take kindly to having my hard work destroyed by someone like you.  Like it or not, the next time you see me; it won’t be because Lee handed me a pity championship match.

Darin wags his finger at the camera.

Darin Zion:  No!  The next time you see me cross YOUR path; this matter will become personal.  I’m tired of straight up honorable one on one matches for my title shots.  I’m gonna do what I do best.  I’m poking the fucking bear, JJR.  I’m going to aggravate you.  I’m going to haunt your nightmares, Roberts.  You might be laughing up a damn storm.  But you unlocked something in me.

Zion creeps back over to Blair, reading to hand him the microphone.

Darin Zion:  So… Blair, if you’d be kind enough to deliver a message to JJR for me.  Tell the poor bastard this feud’s about to get more physical.  Tell him to say his prayers and finding some God damn meaning in his life.  I’ve found mine.  Until I’ve pried Greenie out of his cold, dead hands.  It might seem out of the realm of my normal. But the last six months of my life have been out of this realm…

Blaire Moise looks at Zion rather perplexed.  Her eyebrows raises while he speaks inaudibly.

Blaire Moise:  You do realize it’s only been a week?  Right?

Darin Zion:  DON’T QUESTION SOMEONE WHOS BEEN OUTSIDE YOUR REALM OF REALITY!!!!!!!!  I’VE SEEN THINGS BLAIRE!  THINGS JJR WISHES HE COULD SEE!!

Zion’s neck twitches in place for a moment before he speaks and collects his thoughts.

Darin Zion:  Now if you’ll excuse me, The Masters of the Multiverse have a realm to save from the shark people.  I can’t be bothered with any more questions.

Zion storms off as Blaire looks off in confusion as the scene fades to black.

Fusing Awesome with Argonauts

Ringside at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia.  “Tom Sawyer” by Rush begins to play throughout the arena.   Lights start flashing, the ramp illuminates, and stepping out from the curtain is Conor Fuse to a deafening applause.   The HOW Champion starts walking down the ramp with Mario Maurako to his right and Sir Simon Sparrow to his left.

The three members of the Argonauts of Awesome enter the ring, Brian McVey hands Sir Simon Sparrow microphones, he keeps one and hands the others to his stablemates.  The music fades away and the lights come up.   Simon Sparrow places his monocle in his right eye and holds up the microphone.

Simon Sparrow:   As my third grade school teacher, Miss LaMacchia, used to say, “Y” is not just a letter between “W” and “Z”.   And the question is “Why?”   Why did Mario Maurako actively recruit for and resurrect the Argonauts of Awesome?  I’ll let Mario speak on that.  Last week, I touched on why it was time to retire the “Jatt Starr” persona.

There are those in attendance that express their dissatisfaction that there may no longer be a Ruler of Jattlantis, Sultan of SeaJatte, King of Jatten Island, Thane of Starrkarth, etcetera.   Simon Sparrow holds up a hand, requesting, rather politely, the opportunity to speak.

Simon Sparrow:   I know, I know.  But times are changing and we need to change with it.  This isn’t 2003, Stewart Hix isn’t whacking off in the back thinking how great he is and how awful the HOW roster is and bolts while holding the HOW Championship.  I hear he’s doing well for himself running a male escort service in Monte Carlo called “Stewart Hix’s Dickses”.    Damn….

Sir Simon Sparrow turns towards Mario Maurako and Conor Fuse.

Simon Sparrow:   “The Monte Starrlo Monarch”.  I should have thought of it sooner….

Simon Sparrow turns his attention back towards the crowd.

Simon Sparrow:   Anyway, no need to dwell on that now.  The point is, we need to change with the times.  Right now, the HOW is toxic.  For far too long, we have been forced to watch while our brethren are cheated out of victories by shoddy refereeing, fourth rate wrestlers becoming third rate referees and then snaking their way into winning a battle royal so they can go back to being fourth rate wrestlers, friends allowing other sociopaths cripple their best friend, I think you get the point.  In some way of fashion, we’ve been screwed worse than some poor white collar criminal that found himself in a prison shower with Jeffrey James Roberts.   

The HOW Classic looks out at the crown and then to his fellow Argonauts.

Simon Sparrow:   We look towards the Age of Awesome.  This isn’t just a group of guys with a common goal.  This is a family.  And as we proved at “ICONIC”, a family looks out for one another.  

There is some applause coming from the crowd.

Simon Sparrow:  And while there might be some philosophical differences between us, after all, no family is perfect….but when push comes to shove, these two right here, I have their back one hundred percent.  The way I see it, if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.  We want you to be part of the solution.  We want YOU!

The Professor of Sparrow-dynamics points towards the curtain.

Simon Sparrow:  We are open to almost all….there is one person that I would most definitely like to strike off the list.  Sorry Conor, I know you got a soft spot for him, but…..Darin Zion….

There is a contingent of fans who are squarely in Darin Zion’s corner, especially after his showing last week in the HOTv Title match.  Simon turns towards his fellow Argonauts.

Simon Sparrow:  Sorry, I know I’m running long and I know this is off script but I’ll make it brief.

Sir Simon Sparrow turns towards one of the cameras and removes his monocle and places it into his pocket.

Simon Sparrow:  Someone must have hit puberty….because Darin, you suddenly grew a pair of balls.  You must be feeling pretty good this week after achieving a D-Q win over Jeffrey James Roberts last week.  You get a “W” and now you think you’re the cock of the walk heading into your tag team match tonight against Mario and I?  You seem pretty damn sure of yourself….after all….what was it you said last week?  Something like you would beat me into a coma and send me to a hospital room near my daughter’s?   

There is some jeering from the crowd, objecting to hearing Darin Zion’s out of line comment.

Simon Sparrow:   My daughter, who was shot by some tweaker shitbag!

Simon’s face gets redder and redder with anger as Mario gives him a supportive clap on the back.

Simon Sparrow:  My daughter who had a stroke and was in a coma for nearly two weeks!  My daughter, whose mother had to struggle with the choice on whether or not to pull the plug!  My daughter who now has to relearn how to….

Simon trails off and he looks away, his emotion is quite visibly getting the better of him.  After a brief pause, he looks back to the camera, almost calm.

Simon Sparrow:  You spoke out of turn, Darin Do-Little. And before you and Azalea come out in a few minutes to put me into this “coma” of yours, I have to respond.  No insults, just the cold hard truth.  I’ve watched you over the past what, year and a half?   How many title opportunities have you had during that time?  A crap ton, that’s how many and each one ended in failure.  You know deep down that no one respects you, so you have it in your head that by winning a championship you will suddenly gain it…that there will be a parade in your honor, and a Hall of Fame ring in your future.  Well, I have news for you, sport….even if a miracle does happen and you do win a championship…nothing much will change, you’ll still be a fucking joke.  Only you’ll be a fucking joke with gold around his waist.  

Simon Sparrow turns towards Conor Fuse and Mario, allowing them the floor to speak. The champion takes the microphone.

Conor Fuse: Scott Stevens, our encounter will begin and end tonight. You are a coward, masquerading as a tough guy, with nothing to your name but the title of Hall of Fame, bestowed upon you because you once were talented. Not anymore. Some video games age like wine. First-party NES platformers hold up astonishingly well. Most N64 titles, however, show they are graphically of yesteryear. Just like you and the rest of your Stevens family, providing vulgar insults for shock value, you’re nothing more than forgotten.

The Ultimate Gamer turns to the crowd.

Conor Fuse: Everyone here deserves to be entertained. I will never go at someone with less than my best. I have trained for tonight’s main event like I have trained for Rumble at the Rock, ICONIC, or any other significant event. You will get everything I can give you, Scott. Don’t let me down.

Fuse walks over to Sparrow and pats him on the chest.

Conor Fuse: The name might change but the heart beating inside this warrior has not. He IS family. It has taken me a long time to understand… but I’m glad I finally did.

Conor motions to Mario.

Conor Fuse: And here is a legend I welcome to learn from. Let me be clear to everybody: I have a new edge. If anyone in the back messes with the people I hold closest to me, if anyone ELSE decides to toss someone over the top rope behind their backs… they will get a gamer’s rage they’d never think is possible.

The champion smiles into the apron camera.

Conor Fuse: Otherwise, I’m the same happy, chipper, go-lucky kid you can think of.

Fuse takes the title off his waist and holds it high in the air.

Conor Fuse: Come at me, Players. You have a wide open opportunity like never before. The Last Level Legend will battle you all. But be careful what you wish for…

Fuse winks.

Conor Fuse: Because WHEN you get it, you’ll likely contemplate retirement after I’m through with you.

Conor hands the mic over to Mario.

Mario Maurako: I’ve got to admit, it feels good to be standing out here again with some men that I can call my brothers.

Mario pats the HOW Championship as he steps forward as Simon Sparrow places his monocle over his right eye,

Mario Maurako: Tonight we check off another box on my bucket list. Number one was to defeat Bobbinette Carey once and for all. Which we all saw I accomplished at ICONIC. Next, was to resurrect the group synonymous to me with the “good old days”. 

Mario walks over and places his hand on Simon Sparrow’s shoulder and pats him on the back.

Mario Maurako: So obviously the first call was to one of my former Argonauts in Sir Simon Sparrow. We put together a list of individuals that above all else we knew we could trust to have our backs. I can’t stand here and pretend to know the future as to where we are going to take this. But I know we are not done growing. That’s right, the AoA is hitting the recruiting trails much like we did in 2009,  which resulted in the additions of future HOW Hall of Famers Christopher America & John Sektor.

Simon Sparrow:  We’re open to almost everyone!  Clay Byrd!  Are you tired of competing with Darin Zion for the most wasted championship opportunities in the HOW?  Come on board!  We’ll have your back and as your Number One fan, I’ll vouch for you!   Eli Dresden, are you worried that aligning with Bobbinette Carey will tank your career?  Just dump that zero and join the heroes!   Kostoff!  You don’t even need a reason, come aboard!   David Noble!   You’re already teaming with the Champion King of Awesome, Conor Fuse, so, you might as well join us, am I right?  Bobby Dean!  

Simon Sparrow looks over at Mario Maurako and Conor Fuse who stare at him.

Simon Sparrow:  Bobby Dean….um…..you’re on the roster too….so technically…..you get paid to wrestle for the HOW…..and stuff…..

Mario Maurako:  Act now!  Because the next member who joins will get an autographed picture of ME riding a dolphin…

Simon Sparrow:  But that’s now all….the next member will also receive a vintage Christopher America t-shirt signed by the man, the myth, the legend himself….the Wabid Wabbit.   

Mario Maurako:  Act now!!!  Supplies and spots are limited! 

The three men each offer a pose.  Conor Fuse in the middle holding up the the HOW Championship, Sir Simon Sparrow offers up a Charlie’s Angels style using his fingers as a gun, and Mario Maurako flexes for the crowd as “Tom Sawyer” by Rush takes it to commercial.

Last Week On Refueled

Zion and Azula vs. Jatt Starr and Mario Marauko

“Engel” by Rammstein picks up over the PA system, as Jatt and Mario turn their attention toward the entrance ramp.  Xander Azula makes his way out from behind the curtain and right alongside him is his partner for this Lee Best Invitational, Darin Zion. 

Brian McVay:  Introducing first and already in the ring.  The team of Jatt Starr and Mario Marrrrrrrrrrauuuuuukoooooooooooooo!!!!

Darin Zion and Xander Azula continue their descent to the ring as their introduction is made.

Brian McVay: And their opponents. The team of Xander Azula and Darrriinnnnnnnnnnn Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiioonnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!

Darin Zion and Xander Azula enter the ring, Zion slides in and Azula takes the steps.  All four men get face to face in the center of the ring.  Hall of Fame Referee Matt Boetcher quickly gains control of the situation and separates the two teams.

Joe Hoffman:  The referee clearing Jatt Starr out of the ring now.

Jatt does a little trash talking to the referee, but ultimately complies and goes to the apron on the outside.

Joe Hoffman:  Darin Zion is yelling something in the direction of Jatt Starr and pointing a finger his way as well.

The referee now backs Zion up against the corner.  Zion complies and grabs a hold of the tag rope.  He shows both of his palms to the referee with his hands up. With everything sorted, the referee calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Joe Hoffman:  Xander Azula and Darin Zion to kick things off here.

The two men begin to circle one another in the ring.  Both charge at one another.  Azula attempts to lock up with Mario, but the Hall of Famer is quick to duck under Azula’s grasp and take his back.  Azula rushes toward the ropes, quickly forcing a break from the referee.

Joe Hoffman:  Xander Azula playing it smart here.  But look out!

Mario wastes no time and yanks Azula back into the center of the ring.

Joe Hoffman:  German suplex from Mario…wait, no. Block by Azula.

Azula blocks the attempted German suplex and somersaults forward putting Mario flat down on his face.  Azula scrambles and glides around Mario’s back and locks Mario up in a side headlock.

Joe Hoffman:  Quick transition from Azula, but Mario forces him to his feet.

Mario backs Azula up to the ropes and sends him running to the opposite side. Mario bends over for the back body drop but is stood right back up by a stiff kick to the face.

Joe Hoffman:  What a kick! OHHH!  A thunderous clothesline puts Mario flat on his back!

Mario sits right back up, but Azula plants a boot right into his chest that flattens him once more.  Azula makes a cover, but Mario kicks out before a count can be made by the referee.

Joe Hoffman: Azula drags Maurako to his feet by the hair, and makes the tag.

Zion enters the ring and lands a stiff right hand into Mario’s gut, as Azula holds Mario’s hands behind his back in a double chicken wing.  Mario doubles over and is then battered to his knees by a clubbing forearm smash across the back.

Joe Hoffman:  Darin Zion showing some serious aggression here as he whips Mario into the turnbuckle.

Mario sticks in the corner, and Darin Zion charges in with a running splash.

Joe Hoffman:  Mario gets out of the way in the nick of time!

Mario moves and Zion goes headfirst into the ring post.  Zion stumbles backward and then falls in the center of the ring.

Joe Hoffman:  Mario with a change to make the tag!

Mario slowly crawls in toward Jatt Starr, in his corner, for the tag.  Jatt leans as far over the top rope as he can, and extends his arm as far as humanly possible.  

Joe Hoffman:  Mario is to his knees!  He leaps for the tag!

 

OOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

The crowd lets out a collective gasp as Xander Azula, who has raced across the ring from post to post, absolutely levels Jatt Starr with a flying forearm.  Jatt finds himself on the outside of the ring, laid flat.

Joe Hoffman:  Xander Azula just obliterated Jatt Starr with that forearm.

 

 

Joe Hoffman: The One Percenter from Darin ZIon!  Mario is out!

Xander posts guard in the corner as Darin Zion makes the cover on Mario Maurako.

Joe Hoffman: Matt Boetcher makes the count!

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

3!

 

DING! DING! DING!

Darin Zion jumps to his feet and Xander Azula slides into the ring.  Both men celebrate as Brian McVay makes it official.

Brian McVay:  The winners of this bout, DARIN ZION AND XANDER AZULA!!!

Both men hold their arms up high as “Happy Song” by Bring Me The Horizon plays over the sound system.

Joe Hoffman:  Oh my!  A spear!  Jatt Starr just decimated Xander Azula with a spear!

Jatt Starr looks down at Xander Azula, and is a bit confused.  Darin Zion slides underneath the bottom rope and out of harms way.  Jatt follows him around the perimeter of the ring, from the inside.  The two do some jaw jacking, as Zion makes it all the way around and collects his tag team partner.

Joe Hoffman: Jatt Starr definitely looking for some revenge here tonight, definitely in reference to Darin Zion’s comments about Gilda, but it looks like Xander Azula took the penance for his partner.  Nevertheless, Darin Zion and Xander Azula were the successful team tonight.

Speak For Yourself

We head backstage where Blaire Moise awaits. 

Blaire Moise: With me now is the reigning LSD champion John Sektor…

LSD title belt over his shoulder, John Sektor joins Blaire in the picture.  Sektor looks in great shape but he puts most of his weight on his left knee (the right knee had a minor procedure done over the break).

Blaire Moise: … and a new addition to the HOW roster, Adam Ellis.

Adam Ellis steps into view.  He has medium length black hair and looks every bit of twenty-one years old.  Adam also has a black jacket on and wears black wrestling trunks.  He looks every bit the young, fresh-faced midwestern kid who’s stepping onto the big stage for the first time.

Blaire Moise: Welcome to HOW, Adam. 

She gets a shy response from the HOW rookie.

Adam Ellis: Thank you Ms. Moise.

Blaire Moise: Tonight, you and John face a tag team from Pro Wrestling: Assault. What do you guys know about Ivy English and GenoSyde and how have you prepared for this match?

Sektor leans his chin forward to get on the mic.

John Sektor: We probably know about as much as you do. One of them looks big and dangerous. The other looks flashy and arrogant. How that gels as a team remains to be seen but their manager seems to have a lot of confidence in them.

Sekfor seems very calm as he talks and Ellis just nods along in agreement.

John Sektor: So the sheer fact of facing a team with more questions than answers creates a problem within itself. But it’s up to myself and Adam to find the answers. We have to assume that they are as good as they say they are and we are prepared for a tough fight. But this is a great test for Adam tonight on his debut and for us as a team.

Blaire Moise: Adam, you must be excited. One, you’re teaming with a legend and two, you’re about to compete in your first High Octane Wrestling match. 

Adam smiles proudly and opens his mouth to talk but his partner talks over him.

John Sektor: Of course he’s excited! How can he not be? We’ve all been where he is right now. The butterflies. The nerves. The pressure to deliver on your debut. But that’s the personal challenge Adam has tonight and it’s up to him to manage. And I have absolute faith that he can. Because I train him.

Blaire smiles but it’s obvious she was hoping to get some words from his young apprentice.

Blaire Moise: So Adam…what would a win in this first round against Pro Wrestling Assault mean to you?

Whilst the rookie raises his eyebrows to construct his answer, the Gold Standard has already beaten him to it.

John Sektor: It means we win and get our first set of points on the board to carry into our match with Stevens and Mamba next week. That’s all. We’re being objective and taking this one challenge at a time. Assault are gonna throw the kitchen sink at us here tonight. They’re here to make their mark and keep their names on the tips of everyone’s tongue. We need to make sure we stay focused and disciplined because we know that these guys will make a mistake. It may only be one but when that happens we will put them down and grab the points. 

Blaire’s eyes move to Ellis but Sektor keeps talking. 

John Sektor: Adam knows how important a win here tonight is. But he also knows that it’s a long road to the titles and so we win, put it behind you.

Adam nods in agreement. 

Adam Ellis: Yes I do.  

Blaire Moise: All right then.  Good luck to you both.

And with that Sektor and Ellis exit and we go to a commercial break.

The rumor mill is churning about HOW’s next potential signings…

The Final Trial

As we come back from commercial we cut backstage we see Scott Stevens standing outside the wrestler’s locker room and Blaire Moise is next to him.

Blaire Moise: Scott, tonight you face Conor Fuse in the Main Event for the World title. Thoughts on your match tonight?

Stevens appears deep in though.

Scott Stevens: Blaire, tonight it all comes ahead. The Trials of Scott Stevens have brought me to this moment and this is the most important match of not only my career, but my life.

Stevens takes a deep breath and lets it out.

Scott Stevens: I will probably never get this opportunity again and I will not waste it. My road to redemption ends with me becoming world champion one final time or it was for nothing. Tonight, Conor and I are going to beat the crap out of one another, but I’m going to be the one victorious because I’ve fought too hard and sacrificed too much to be defeated again. Conor, I hope you’re ready to face defeat once more because you’re looking at the next world champion.

Stevens proclaims before walking out of frame.

Sektor and Ellis vs PWAssault

“People I don’t like” by UPSAHL hits as we cut to Bryan McVay in the ring. 

Bryan McVay: Coming to the ring, weighing in at two hundred and twelve pounds, and standing at six-foot is Pro Wrestling: Assault’s World Heavyweight Champion: Ivy English. 

English steps through the curtain with Cornfield in tow. Cornfield has the Pro Wrestling: Assault World Championship raised over his head as the two walk to the ring. As they get about halfway down the ramp “Loser” by Beck hits and Genosyde walks out onto the ramp, mask on, staring forward at the ring. Cornfield pauses and waits for Genosyde to join him as Ivy just keeps walking to the ring staring at the arena. 

Bryan McVay: And his partner, weighing in at three hundred and one pounds, standing at six-foot six is GENOSYDE! 

Genosyde tightens the mask up around his face as we watch the two men climb up into the ring, leaving Cornfield on the outside with the championship. “Momma Didn’t Raise No” by Garrett Biggs hits and Adam Ellis steps out onto the ramp. 

Bryan McVay: And their opponents, standing at six-foot four inches tall and weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-six pounds is ADDDAAAAM ELLIS! 

Ellis makes his way down the ramp, he glances briefly at the crowd taking in the moment. He stands at ringside waiting for his partner. The lights dim as ‘Dirty Deeds’ hits over the sound system and John Sektor steps out into a single golden spotlight. The camera briefly flashes through the ring to show Ivy English hyping himself up. 

Bryan McVay: And his partner and mentor, he weighs in at two-hundred and forty-five pounds, he’s your reigning LSD CHAMPION! HE IS A HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING HALL OF FAMER! HE IS THE GOLD STANDARD OF HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING! JOOOOOOOOHN SEEEEEEKTOOOOOOR! 

Sektor marches to the ring, title wrapped around his waist, with his head down. He meets up with Ellis outside and the two jump up onto the apron

Joe Hoffman: And here we go ladies and gentlemen! Our third match of the evening sees two men from Pro Wrestling: Assault take on a HOW Hall of Famer and his protege Adam Ellis. Ivy English looks to be starting off for Pro Wrestling: Assault, and it looks like Adam Ellis will lead the way for Sektor and Ellis. 

Ellis and English start the match off feeling each other out. English circles Ellis around the ring, he starts clapping to the fans and pointing at Ellis who ignores him and stays focused on the task. English shoots in, and Ellis side steps and manages to grab English’s back. English tries a reversal but Ellis stays with him, and manages to drop English to his knee by kicking him in the back of the leg. 

Joe Hoffman: Great wrestling here from Adam Ellis, Ivy English looks like he’s a bit out of his element in there with the MVW superstar. 

Sektor claps for his protege as English tries to get himself sorted down on the ground with the much bigger Ellis. Ellis locks in a reverse chinlock on Ivy and begins to crank on the Pro Wrestling: Assault champions neck. English looks to Genosyde in the corner who has his arm outstretched, but decides to scamper over to the ropes instead. Ellis senses it coming, and drops his arms down around Ivy’s waist. 

Joe Hoffman: IS ADAM ELLIS GOING TO SUPLEX ENGLISH!?

Ellis lifts English up, and English tries to kick his legs, but Ellis does not care and smashes Ivy to the mat. Adam Ellis slides over ontop of English and covers him.

Joe Hoffman: What a move here from English!  

 

Joel Hortega: UNO! 

 

Joel Hortega: DOS! 

 

English kicks out right at 2. Ellis pulls English up by his dreadlocks and locks him back into the chin lock. Sektor stands on the apron once again clapping his hands and enjoying the show from Ellis. 

Joe Hoffman: Ellis is wrestling a great match, he delivers punishment, more punishment, and then explodes for a big move! Then it is right back to the punishment. 

Ellis pulls English back into his corner and reaches back to tag Sektor. The Gold Standard comes in quickly and delivers a quick boot to English’s ribs. Sektor pulls English to his feet and hammers him with a snap suplex, he grabs the younger mans arm and holds it open for Ellis as the two have another tag. 

Joe Hoffman: Ivy is in big trouble here with the quick tags! Sektor and Ellis seem really in sync! 

Ellis comes back in driving a boot to English’s ribs. Ivy folds in half clutching his ribs and rolling to the center of the ring looking for the tag. Ellis rushes over and delivers a boot right onto the shoulderblades of English. Ellis reaches down, bringing Ivy to his feet. He irish whips him into the ropes, English comes back taking a swing with a clothesline. Ellis ducks under and runs the ropes himself. Genosyde manages to stretch out with the tag rope in hand and slap English on the back as he hits the ropes. 

Joe Hoffman: Great tag by the big man! English doesn’t stop running though! 

English tries to leap into the air for a crossbody, but Ellis manages to use his momentum against him and slams English over his head with a belly to belly suplex. Hortega runs over and rolls English out of the ring while Sektor is yelling for Ellis to hurry up and turn around. Ellis manages to spin around right into a charging Genosyde who turns him inside out with a big boot. The three hundred pounder bends down and picks young Ellis up and sends him flying into Sektor’s corner. Genosyde comes sprinting in and smashes Ellis with a huge avalanche style splash. 

Joe Hoffman: Genosyde has knocked Adam Ellis for a loop! 

Ellis stumbles to the middle of the ring, and drops to a knee. Genosyde comes over and puts on a twisting chinlock to Ellis. Ellis struggles as Hortega comes over and quickly checks on Ellis. Ellis waves him off as Sektor begins to clap and encourage Ellis. Adam manages to get himself back to one knee as Genosyde cranks on the hold. Ellis screams, but manages to drive a right hand up into Genosyde’s chin. The masked man loosens the hold and Ellis gets to his feet, still bent over. He drives elbow after elbow into the big man’s stomach. 

Joe Hoffman: Ellis needs to make a tag here!

Finally getting somewhat free, Ellis tries to irish whip the big man, but Genosyde manages to reverse it, sending Ellis into the ropes. Ellis comes back to a ducked Genosyde and leap frogs him going back to the ropes. Genosyde does the same, running to Sektor’s side of the ring. Genosyde comes back taking a huge swing with a clothesline but Ellis ducks under. 

Joe Hoffman: And Ivy English with a tag? AND SEKTOR TAGS ELLIS BACK AT THE SAME TIME! 

Genosyde comes running in and clotheslines both he and Adam Ellis to the outside. English hops into the ring on fire, he’s practically bouncing out of his shoes while Sektor steps into the ring confidently. English runs in at Sektor on fire, rights and lefts peppering The Gold Standard. He finishes it off with a twisting kick that sends the LSD champion stumbling back into the turnbuckle. English runs in and drop kicks Sektor in the chest. English jumps to his feet and grabs Sektor, sending him flying with a Fisherman’s suplex. 

Joe Hoffman: What an explosion here from English! You can see why he’s Pro Wrestling: Assault’s champion. 

English jumps up and leaps to the top rope, immediately jumping off for a moonsault. Sektor manages to roll out of the way, letting English crash to the mat. English once again rolls around holding his ribs, while Sektor limps over and grabs English. Meanwhile on the outside, Genosyde has Ellis up against the rail and comes running in, smashing him with a huge cannonball! Sektor picks up English and drops him to the mat with a C-Sektion. Sektor covers, hooking both legs. 

Joel Hortega: UNO!

 

Joel Hortega: DOS!

 

Joe Hoffman: Genosyde running into the ring and trying to break up the pin! 

 

Joel Hortega:  TRES!

Genosyde collides into Sektor, pushing him off English at the last possible second. Sending him rolling to the outside while Cornfield jumps into the ring and is screaming at his team. 

Joe Hoffman: Great win for Adam Ellis and John Sektor! Pro Wrestling: Assault looks like they could use some more polish between the ropes before the next time out! We’ll be right back folks!

Sektor and Ellis regroup outside and the two walk up the ramp as ‘Dirty Deeds’ plays throughout the arena. At ringside, an absolutely livid James Cornfield berates Ivy English, who picks up the PWA World Championship and storms off away from his boss and partner. Genosyde listens as Cornfield angrily mutters into his ear, and we’re headed to a commercial break.

When it’s an hour past deadline but you just need a couple more beers, High Octane Pirate Stout.

iConquer

As we come back from commercial we see The Stevens Dynasty standing next to Blaire Moise and Bo is apparently whispering something in her ear and she’s not having it.

Blaire Moise: How dare you, you pervert!

Blaire goes to slap Bo, but Cary catches her hand.

Cary Stevens: What are you doing?

Blaire Moise: I was going to slap this perv until he had some manners.

Cary Stevens: Toots, you aren’t going to do shit.

Blaire’s face begins to boil and the behemoth George leans through the middle of his father and cousin and Blaire has second thoughts.

Blaire Moise: I’ll teach him that lesson later.

Cary Stevens: That’s what I thought.

Blaire regains her composure and begins her interview.

Blaire Moise: Cary, tonight your nephew Bo has a major opportunity as he makes his in ring debut in HOW against the HOTv champion, JJR, and Arthur Pleasant. How is he feeling?

Blaire asks and Cary sighs in annoyance.

Cary Stevens: Blaire, you should be asking that question to the man who lost to Darin Zion, and his partner that carny hack because my boy was born ready. Every Stevens is a well oiled machine and they were bred for this moment since they came out body slamming their mommy’s ovaries!

Blaire rolls her eyes.

Cary Stevens: Bo is going to go out there and change the game, literally. He is not only going to pin the HOTv champion, but he’s going to carry that Dalek wannabe to victory as well. We will be one step closer to winning the HOW Tag Team championships because we are the Stevens Dynasty and we simply decimate!

Blaire Moise: Speaking of your partner, where is Ultratron-6.1?

Cary shrugs.

Cary Stevens: Who knows, but more importantly who cares! Ultratron is about as useless as you are because anyone can hold a microphone, but instead of complaining about some random whore I’ll let you bask in our greatness because we are the greatest tag team in the wrestling business.

Blaire Moise: What did you call me?

Cary Stevens: I called you by your shoot name instead of your pathetic stripper name.

Blaire cocks her hand back as if she’s going to punch the patriarch of the Stevens family but George grunts persuading her to do something else.

Cary Stevens: Look Blaire, you wasted enough of our time as we have to get ready for our match, but here is a wellness check to get you back on your feet since the last few years have been hard since you haven’t been able to slide down a pole recently to make ends meet.

Cary reaches into his back pocket and makes it rain by tossing fourteen hundred dollars into the air.

Cary Stevens: Now if you will excuse me, the smell of victory is in the air…..my bad that’s your cooch Blaire. Close your legs!

Cary cackles as the Dynasty leaves.

Blaire Moise: Fucking asshole.

Blaire mutters when she sees Bo standing in front of her.

Blaire Moise: What do you want?

Bo has a wad of money and he sticks it down her shirt with a wink.

Bo Stevens: More where that came from, BO-Lieve that!

Blaire just glares at Bo as he exits.  It certainly couldn’t get any worse…

Sunny O’Callahan: Hola bitches!

…but then the Woman of the Moment, the Queen of Mean, Sunny O’Callahan shows up.  Summoning every fiber of her being to remain one the best professional backstage interviewers there are, Blaire takes a deep breath.

Sunny O’Callahan: I don’t know what Gary Stevens said…

Blaire Moise: That’s Cary.

Sunny rolls her eyes. 

Sunny O’Callahan: Yeah whatever.  All I know is this, Gary Stevens better make sure that Bo Stevens doesn’t fuck this up, right Ultratron?

The metallic menace known as ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-6 steps into the shot- his red glowing eyes staring into the camera.   

Ultratron-6.1 (cold, metallic voice): You are all PATHETIC WORMS! HOPELESS!.  You are nothing but mere FLEAS.  An infection that rages through High Octane Wrestling for which there is only ONE cure- THE RAGE OF ULTRATRON-SIX-POINT-ONE!  

Ultratron-6.1 whirls around and sees the wad of cash sticking out of Blaire’s shirt.  He reaches his metallic hand into a duffel bag that also is overflowing with cash and pulls out few more bills to stuff into Blaire’s shirt.

Ultratron-6.1: I have MONEY.  With money I can purchase POWER.  With power, I will first CONQUER the so-called Devil’s Advocates with the help of Gary Stevens…

Blaire Moise: Again, that’s Cary Stevens.

Ultratron-6.1 dismisses her and charges on.

Ultratron-6.1:  …and then… CONQUER… High Octane Wrestling.  And once I take over High Octane Wrestling… I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD!  THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!

‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ leans his head back and laughs maniacally.  

Ultratron-6.1 leaves. Sunny follows while Blaire wonders once again if she’s making enough money to put up with this. 

JJR and Pleasant vs. Team MVW

Joe Hoffman: Blaire Moise is one of the best there is and Cary Stevens should be ashamed of himself for the way he spoke to her.  No excuse for that.  Bryan McVay is in the ring and it is time for our next match…

Bryan McVay: The next match will be one fall!  

The wonderfully horrific screeching of violins cut through the arena like a knife through flesh as “Danse Macabre”, the classic orchestral piece written and composed by Camille Saint-Saëns and condensed into a much more frightening version for entrance theme’s sake, plays throughout the arena. 

Joe Hoffman: …and this one should be interesting. 

Soon thereafter enters Arthur Pleasant, The Provocateur himself, from the Gorilla position. 

Joe Hoffman: Arthur Pleasant returned to HOW at ICONIC, taking out Jace Parker Davidson to help Jeffrey James Roberts and forming the alliance now called the Devil’s Advocates.  

Standing with his arms out and a smile as sick and evil as the day is long and the fans are fickle, Arthur Pleasant sniffs the air with his eyes closed. Taking in the snarky shouts and cynicism from the internet wrestling community, Arthur begins skipping down the ramp with utter delight plastered onto his face. 

Bryan McVay: Introducing first, from under the midnight sun at Utqiagvik, Alaska.  Weighing in tonight at 220 pounds… ARTHUR PLEASANT!  

Arthur runs the ropes a few times, making a mockery out of the mat-wrestling master race that like to warm up before a match. Retreating to the corner furthest away from the ramp, Arthur hunkers down with both arms holding onto the top rope at his sides as he sits on the middle turnbuckle. A lustful look bearing the need for violence and calamity, Arthur grins as widely as his jaw and skin will allow him to while he waits for his doomed opponent.

Bryan McVay: And his tag team partner…

“Goldberg Variations” by Johann Sebastian Bach plays over the speakers as four security guards step out onto the stage. They form a square as Jeffrey James Roberts steps out and stands in the middle. His hands are out front, tied with plastic ziptie cuffs, and he walks toward the ring, keeping his eyes focused on it. 

Bryan McVay: From Gainesville, Florida.  Weighing in at 230 pounds.  He is the HOTv CHAMPION!  JEFFREY!  JAMES! ROBERTS! 

The guards keep a perimeter to make sure he can’t reach any fans and they walk with him all the way to ringside. 

Bryan McVay: They are… THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATES! 

The guard in front unlocks the cuffs, then steps back to allow Roberts to climb into the ring. He does so, then leans back against one corner, his eyes closed, head back, swaying slightly to the music.

Bryan McVay: And their opponents.

“My Name Is Bocephus” by Hank Williams Jr. comes on over the public address system.  Bo Stevens walks out looking every bit of the arch-typical, cocky blue-chipper he is.  He’s followed out by the Patriarch of the Stevens Dynasty Cary Stevens and his cousin George Stevens, a 460 behemoth who glares at Roberts and Pleasant in the ring.

Bryan McVay: Accompanied to the ring by Cary Stevens and George Stevens, from Waco, Texas and weighing in tonight at 234 pounds.  

After running his hand over his long black hair that always looks wet, Bo walks down the ramp towards ringside wearing white boots, trunks, knee pads, wrist tape, and telling anyone within earshot that “BO KNOWS!” Cary and George Stevens follows behind him. George doesn’t say anything but Cary has numerous heated verbal ‘exchanges’ with the fans while walking past them. 

Bryan McVay: BO! STEVENS!  

Bo rolls into the ring and goes right to a turnbuckle. 

Joe Hoffman: Big night for the Stevens family.  Bo makes his HOW debut here tonight and then Scott Stevens battles HOW World Champion Conor Fuse in our main event later on tonight.

Bryan McVay: And his partner…

The Brit-poppy beat of Geri Halliwell’s (aka… the former Ginger Spice) replaces the country blues sound of Hank Jr. and out walks the ‘Queen of Mean’ Sunny O’Callahan- complete with red and green queen’s crown and green cape covering her black bustier and pants. 

Joe Hoffman: The manager has her own entrance music?

Sunny takes off her sunglasses and poses for the fans. 

Bryan McVay: Accompanied to the ring by the Kabal of Really Awful People-

Sunny also has a microphone and clears her throat loudly causing McVay to stop.

Sunny O’Callahan: AHEM!  Accompanied by the best manager with the most brilliant wrestling mind ever in professional wrestling and the ONE TRUE QUEEN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!  ME!  SUNNY O’CALLAHAN!  

Joe Hoffman: The one true queen?  I’m sure Lindsay Troy will have something to say about that. 

Shaking his head, McVay goes on.

Bryan McVay: From Parts Unknown… weighing in at 200 pounds.  He is ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ ULTRATRON-SIX-POINT-ONE!  

A silver metallic ‘robot’ comes out carrying a duffel bag totally overflowing with cash (he uses it to pay for Ms. O’Callahan’s managerial services).   Piercing red eyes glowering towards the crowd, Ultratron-6.1 tries his best to look menacing.  He’s not quite a shiny, silver cheap b-movie knock off of a famous comic book robot but he’s awfully close.  

The other members of K.R.A.P. follow him out:
‘Defective’ Marty Pratt– the guy who tries to ‘erase’ people with the oversized eraser on his oversized pencil.
The Murder Hornets– Two smaller luchadores with plain purple ski masks over their heads and an all-purple wrestling ensemble with ‘MURDER HORNETS’ emblazoned on the front of their shirts. 
Hawaii-Five-One-Five-O– Kahua and Maili.  Two Samoan wrestlers dressed in flashy Hawaiian shirts who also formerly worked in MVW as a tag team. 
Bill E. Zayne– Dressed in the fancy clothing circa 1912 of the heir to a Pittsburgh steel fortune- Caledon Hockley as he boarded the Titanic.  Zayne exudes the same snobby, arrogant, and narcissistic traits of the Hockley character from the epic movie Titanic- Voyage of Doom.
David Litterman– Ordinary looking dude with a total disregard of the environmental consequences his cavalier attitude towards trash disposal presents.

Bryan McVay: They are… TEAM MVW! 

O’Callahan leads the procession down the ramp towards the ring.  Litterman casually drops a napkin and an empty pop container with straw and plastic lid on the stage following the group while Bill E. Zayne…

Bill E. Zayne: I HAVE A CHILD! 

…holds up a ‘My Sweet Love Baby Doll’ strapped into a plastic pink car seat and races ahead of everyone. 

Bill E. Zayne: I HAVE A CHILD!  

Joe Hoffman: Ooooo-kay.  Well.  We don’t know much about Bo Stevens other than his affiliation with the Stevens Dynasty.  We know nothing about this The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-6.1 from MVW.  We do know that Jeffrey James Roberts and Arthur Pleasant are two of the most dangerous wrestlers in pro wrestling and not a team to mess around doing silly stuff with.  

There’s already chaos at ringside.  Sunny O’Callahan and Cary Stevens are nose to chest (she’s 5’ 8”- he is 6’ 3”) and yelling back and forth at each other.

Joe Hoffman: And this is getting silly already.  It looks like both the Stevens Dynasty and the Kabal of Really Awful People are arguing whether Bo Stevens or Ultratron-6.1 will start the match.  

Leaning up against the ropes, referee Matt Boettcher tells Team MVW to get someone in the ring.  

Arthur Pleasant manically paces back and forth while Roberts stands against the top rope with an air of calm surrounding him.   

Joe Hoffman: Between Roberts and Pleasant and the dysfunctional MVW team, Matt’s going to have his hands full in this match.  

With O’Callahan and Cary Stevens literally shouting at each other now on the floor, Pleasant races across the ring and launches himself like a missile up and over the top rope. 

Joe Hoffman: SUICIDE DIVE BY ARTHUR PLEASANT ONTO THE PILE! 

Pleasant crashes into and sends Bo Stevens and Ultratron-6.1, Cary Stevens and Sunny O’Callahan sprawling to the floor.  Pleasant grabs Ultratron 6.1 and pulls him up.  *BAM*

Joe Hoffman: PLEASANT DRIVES ULTRATRON-6.1 INTO THE RING POST.  

*BAM* Again Ultratron-6.1 tastes the steel ringpost.  

Joe Hoffman: AND AGAIN!  Now Pleasant goes to piledriver Ultratron-6.1 on the steel ring- 

*WHAP*

Joe Hoffman: PLEASANT JUST GOT CLOBBERED BY AN OVERSIZED PENCIL!

Courtesy of ‘Defective’ Marty Pratt.

‘Defective’ Marty Pratt: ERASE… ERASE… ER-urk!

Pleasant drops Ultratron-6.1, turns, and grabs ‘Defective’ Marty Pratt by the shirt…  

Joe Hoffman: Big mistake Marty.  

… and then gets attacked from behind by the purple-clad, masked Murder Hornets.   

Joe Hoffman: NOW THE MURDER HORNETS ARE ATTACKING PLEASANT…  

Jeffrey James Roberts slides into the ring.

Joe Hoffman: …AND HERE COMES ROBERTS! HE’S HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! 

Roberts flies over the ropes and wipes out both the Murder Hornets.  

Joe Hoffman: DRAGON CORKSCREW PLANCHA BY ROBERTS!  Ultratron-6.1 down.  ‘Defective’ Marty Pratt down.  Murder Hornets down.  

Quick close on Sunny O’Callahan.  She now screams at Cary Stevens for help.  The Stevens Dynasty decline and keep their distance for the moment. 

Joe Hoffman: NOW she wants their help?

Superkick to one Murder Hornet by Roberts.  Another superkick to the other Murder Hornet.  Pleasant grabs side headlocks on both and spikes them to the mat… 

Joe Hoffman: THE MURDER HORNETS GET SPRAYED WITH A DOUBLE DOSE OF DDT!  

Ultratron-6.1 jumps on Pleasant’s back and starts choking him.  Roberts tears Ultratron off Pleasant.  Boot to the gut and then a superkick sends The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ into a pirouette.  Running Lariat by Pleasant finishes the job.

Joe Hoffman: Roberts with the assist and Pleasant sends Ultratron-6.1 to the floor.  

Boettcher finally throws up his hands and signals to the timekeeper to ring the bell.  

*DING-DING*

Joe Hoffman: Matt’s had enough and he’s officially started this match-

Pleasant alertly veers back to the ring and slides under the ropes.  

Joe Hoffman: Pleasant back in.  Ultratron-6.1’s still on the floor!  

Boettcher immediately starts a ten count on Ultratron-6.1.  The hired muscle for Ultratron-6.1, Hawaii-Five-One-Five-O, get to work.  Kahua and Maili pulls a woozy Ultratron-6.1 off the floor and heaves him under the bottom rope. 

Joe Hoffman: Hawaii-Five-One-Five-O helps Ultratron-6.1 into the ring and hopefully we can have an actual tag match here.

Pleasant attacks immediately but- 

Joe Hoffman: ROLL UP BY ULTRATRON!

ONE…

TW-

Joe Hoffman: KICK OUT BY PLEASANT!  Ultratron-6.1 surprised him there.  

Pleasant smiles and slowly backs up to his corner where Roberts holds out his hand.

Joe Hoffman: And now Jeffrey James Roberts tags in…

*WHACK*

Bo Stevens reaches over and slaps Ultratron-6.1’s back.

Joe Hoffman: …and Bo Stevens has seemingly tagged himself in.  

Ultratron-6.1 vents his displeasure to Stevens. 

Joe Hoffman: The ‘New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ has taken umbridge at being tagged out.

Meanwhile, Jeffrey James Roberts patiently waits.  But after this drags on for several seconds more, Roberts takes off across the ring and leaps.  

Joe Hoffman: BIG SPLASH BY ROBERTS!  

Stevens is slammed hard into Ultratron-6.1.  Roberts yanks Stevens out of the corner.  Kicks followed by a waistlock by Roberts… BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX.   Roberts now goes to the apron… SLINGSHOT LEG DROP!  He hooks the leg…

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: Stevens gets the shoulder up. 

Roberts stomps the back of head of Stevens and then drives his knee into Bo’s neck.   He rolls Stevens onto his back and hooks a leg while driving his forearm into his opponent’s face.

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: Stevens again gets his shoulder up.  

Roberts grips Stevens throat.

Joe Hoffman: BLATANT CHOKE BY ROBERTS!

Now Cary Stevens jumps onto the ring apron shouting at Matt Boettcher.  Boettcher does start a five count but stops when George Stevens steps one leg through the ropes.  

Joe Hoffman: Boettcher caught George Stevens trying to climb in and now Boettcher is dealing with him. 

Roberts continues to choke Stevens.  He drags him to their corner and tags Pleasant back in.  Cary Stevens screams at Boettcher while the Devil’s Advocate’s double-team Bo.  

Joe Hoffman: The Stevens Dynasty continues to argue with Matt Boettcher and that’s allowing JJR and Pleasant to abuse the hell out of Bo Stevens.  

Matt turns away from an angry Cary Stevens and sees the double-team on Bo.  He starts a five count. 

Joe Hoffman: Boettcher finally sees what Roberts and Pleasant are doing.  He instructs Roberts to leave the ring.  

Which Roberts does but not before sitting Bo up.  Shining Wizard to the back.  Shining Wizard to the front.  

Joe Hoffman: Arthur Pleasant rocks Bo Stevens with Back-to-Back Shining Wizards.  Bo’s got to tag out.  

Pleasant continues to stomp the hell out of Bo Stevens.  Pleasant dishes out hard right hands.  He pulls Stevens him up and hurls him into the corner turnbuckle.  Arthur charges- Stevens grabs and whips him shoulder first into the turnbuckle.  Arthur grabs his shoulder.  Roberts swipes at Stevens as he grabs Pleasant and connects with a snap suplex.  

Joe Hoffman: Finally, Bo Stevens with a little offense.  He runs the ropes…

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: … and now Ultratron-6.1 tags himself back in.

Bo finishes the springboard bulldog that drives Pleasant to the mat.  Ultratron-6.1 barges in and shoves Bo out of his way.  Elbow drop to Pleasant.  Another elbow drop.  And another.  He drags Pleasant and positions him under the bottom rope near their corner.  Ultratron takes Pleasant’s legs and leans back bringing him up.

Joe Hoffman: Catapault Hangman!  Now it’s Pleasant who’s in trouble!  

Ultratron-6.1 hooks the legs.  

ONE…

TW-

Joe Hoffman: Pleasant kicks out…

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: …and Bo Stevens tags himself back in. 

Bo pushes Ultratron-6.1 out of his way and jams his hand over Pleasant’s face.

Joe Hoffman: IRON CLAW!  IRON CLAW!  

Pleasant contorts in pain.  He kicks his legs and tries to pry Bo’s hands off him. 

Joe Hoffman: He’s got that locked in and…

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: …Ultratron-6.1 tags himself back in?

Stevens yells ‘what the fuck?’ and spins Ultratron-6.1 around.

Joe Hoffman: And now they’re arguing again.  

Stevens pokes Ultratron-6.1 on his metal chest.  Ultratron-6.1 balls his fists as if he’s about to strike.

Joe Hoffman: These two had better get their act together because…

Pleasant shoves Ultratron into Bo.  Roll up from behind.

Joe Hoffman: …that’s why. 

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: And Ultratron-6.1 nearly gets pinned.  Team MVW has got to get on the same page.

Pleasant locks a leg, lifts, and spikes him to the mat.  

Joe Hoffman: Rolling Fisherman Buster by Pleasant and he’s not letting go.

Pleasant then pulls him up again, locks the leg, lifts and spikes him a second time.  And then a third time. 

Joe Hoffman: Pleasant takes the HOW newcomer to the Land of Make Believe and he covers.

ONE…

TWO… kickout.

Joe Hoffman: Ultratron-6.1 kicks out and Pleasant’s pleasantly surprised.  

Pleasant drags Ultratron-6.1 towards their corner and tags in Roberts. 

Joe Hoffman: Roberts and Pleasant have worked very well as a team.  Team MVW?

Bo Stevens is in a huddle with Cary and George Stevens on the floor- not paying attention to the match.

Joe Hoffman: Not so well.

Roberts kicks away on Ultratron.  He pulls Ultratron-6.1 up.  GERMAN SUPLEX!  Ultratron-6.1 pops right up.  Roberts ducks a buzzsaw kick and rolls him up.  

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: Kick out by Ultratron-6.1!  

Roberts slings Ultratron-6.1 into the corner- Pleasant greets him with a forearm shot to the face.  Pleasant tags back in and both Roberts and Pleasant attack.

Joe Hoffman: Double team work by the Devil’s Advocates and Ultratron-6.1 is stuck in the wrong corner.  

Pleasant hits a backbreaker and turns it right into a neckbreaker.  Cover.  

ONE…

TWO- 

Joe Hoffman: Arthur Pleasant tried to break Ultratron-6.1 in half.  Then he tried to twist his head off but Ultratron-6.1 got the shoulder up before three.

Pleasant does it again.  

ONE…

TWO-

Joe Hoffman: REVERSE ROLL UP BY ULTRATRON-6.1!

ONE…

TWO…-

Joe Hoffman: AND PLEASANT KICKS OUT.  

Ultratron-6.1 whips Pleasant to the ropes. Back body drop and Pleasant lands hard on the mat.  Here comes Ultratron-6.1.  Delayed knee drop.  Another delayed knee drop.  He takes Pleasant and whips him again to the ropes…

Joe Hoffman: OH!  Beautiful drop kick right there by Ultratron-6.1!  

Cover.

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: NO!  Pleasant gets the shoulder up in time.   

Ultratron-6.1 hovers behind Pleasant and waits.   Pleasant struggles to get back to his feet.  

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: Ultratron-6.1 was set up for his finisher and Bo Stevens tagged himself in again!

Stevens scissors Pleasant’s body and slaps on the Dragon Sleeper.

Joe Hoffman: TEXAS FUNERAL!  BO STEVENS HAS THE DRAGON SLEEPER LOCKED IN! 

Roberts begins to step between the ropes… but he doesn’t step through.  

Joe Hoffman: Jeffrey James Roberts wants so badly to make the save but he knows a DQ loss still counts as a loss in the Maurako Cup. 

Pleasant flails about.  

Joe Hoffman: Pleasant’s fading.  Could Team MVW pull off a win despite their lack of teamwork in this match?

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: Oh you’re got to be kidding me.

Even Matt Boettcher is stunned at what’s just happened.  

Joe Hoffman: With Pleasant in big, big trouble, Ultratron-6.1 reached in and tagged Bo Stevens.  You can not make this up. 

Stevens releases the hold and immediately confronts Ultratron-6.1.

Joe Hoffman: Bo Stevens had this match won!

Team MVW argues.  Pleasant crawls across the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Pleasant gets away and he’s almost to his corner… YES!

*SMACK*

Hot tag to Roberts who runs across the ring and barges into both Stevens and Ultratron-6.1.  Clothesline to Ultratron.

Joe Hoffman: ROBERTS SENDS ULTRATRON-6.1 OVER THE TOP ROPE!  

Boots to Stevens.  Roberts pulls him up and whips him corner to corner. 

Joe Hoffman: HERE WE GO!  ROBERTS FOLLOWS AND TAKES A FRONT FACELOCK! 

Roberts hooks Stevens by his tights. He lifts him upside down and spikes him to the mat. 

Joe Hoffman: MASK OF SANITY!  AND NOW…WHAT THE HELL?

The camera pans over.  Sunny O’Callahan is telling the Kabal of Really Awful People they’re leaving and they begin to walk up the ramp.

Joe Hoffman:  Wait.  THEY’RE LEAVING?  

A fact not lost on Cary Stevens who helplessly watches Roberts backflip off the top turnbuckle and drives his knee across Bo’s throat.

Joe Hoffman: SHOOTING STAR GUILLOTINE! 

Boettcher slides in to make the count.  

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!

*DING-DING-DING*

Joe Hoffman: DEVIL’S ADVOCATES WIN!  

Bryan McVay rolls into the ring along with several members of the EPU.  The EPU go right over to Roberts and places the restraints back on him.  

Bryan McVay: Your winner at fourteen minutes and fourteen seconds… THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATES! 

Joe Hoffman: Jeffrey James Roberts and Arthur Pleasant get the win over Team MVW in, when both teams were actually wrestling, a close match.  More importantly, Roberts and Pleasant get THREE valuable points in the Maurako Cup while Team MVW…

From the stage, Ultratron-6.1 flips off the Stevens Dynasty, Sunny blows everyone a kiss, and David Litterman drops an empty popcorn box on the floor.  

Joe Hoffman: …um, yeah.  I have never seen anything like this.  Wow.   

K.R.A.P exits the stage.  The camera focuses on a furious Stevens Dynasty who help Bo Stevens up to his feet.  

Joe Hoffman: All right.  Conor Fuse defends the HOW World Title against Scott Stevens next.  We’ll be back right after this.

Egg On Their Faces

The show cuts away from the action inside the ring to backstage inside the eGG Den.

Jiles is there, he’s still wearing his CLASSIC ring gear from before his heart ran cold….er. There’s no T-shades. His hair is a mess, for him anyway. A look of disbelief covers him like a wet blanket.

Bobby is there, he has a towel over his head and is hunched over so it is impossible to tell if he is still in his wrestling gear. He appears to be naked, but that would just be awkward. His trunks are not on the floor, or around his ankles so there is that.

Doozer could be there, but you know. There’s no cardboard. There’s no Primordial Queen. There’s no Little Fish. There’s no Giant French Fry Eating Mongoloid.

Just the two of them. The Big C, and even Bigger B.

Oh, and their old buddy FAILURE.

Jiles: What the fuck happened out there? How many steps have we lost? I felt slow, and not the slow from you dragging me down, slow. Like, quicksand. Could it be? Was I…. nervous?

Bobby doesn’t answer, he just breathes heavier from underneath the towel.

Jiles: Me? Nervous… couldn’t be. No. Impossible. Were you nervous?

Again, Bobby doesn’t answer, he just continues to agonize from under the towel. Yes, that is to be interpreted as breathing is agonizing to Bobby Dean– that is how heavy the defeat is weighing upon him. Not only is he speechless, but he’s about to be breathless!

Also, the fact Jiles is talking normal to Bobby and not berating him should not be overlooked.

Jiles: HOW? They were out of fucking towners! And they shot us down! Imagine if that were the main event?

The Maestro gasps for air. Not because Bobby’s heavy exasperation is suffocating, but because the sheer shock from the depth of their failure robbed the self proclaimed tag team extradriore of his breath. He scrambles for an answer. He struggles to make sense of it. He’ll do anything not to face the facts. Go down any road. Break every branch.

Jiles: You know what? I know whose fault this is. I blame Doozer. Of course he decided to be selfish and get fired a week before the show! Yeah, that’s what it was. I was distracted! WE WERE DISTRACTED! Right…….right?

The towel finally comes down. Bobby looks as defeated as ever. Like, going on a eating trip, defeated. Jiles seethes, taking in the sad sight that sits before him. 

Jiles: Or maybe it wasn’t Doozer’s fault. Maybe it was yours! You are such a wast–

Before Jiles can finish fishing Rock Bottom Lake, Bobby surprisingly tosses the towel in his partner’s face. The Big Cat then dashes forward from out of his seated position, and destroys the Crown Prince of COOL with a flattening Avalanche Splash. The move sandwiches Jiles between Blobby’s full force and the locker behind him. Bobby quickly gets to his feet, and looks down at his old pal.

Bobby Dean: Now we’re even for the kick! 

The Beautiful Man from Honalee smiles like he’s at the front of the buffet line.

Bobby Dean: More importantly, now we can move forward, and we can do so with me at the front and you at the back!

Bob’s belly jiggles from the excitement in his voice. Thankfully, now that he is standing and his gut isn’t overhanging as much it can be confirmed he does have his tights still on.

Bobby Dean: Take your time getting yourself together, but after you do be sure to get my things in order and bring them down to catering for me. That’s where I’ll be! Oh, and don’t forget to wipe that stupid look off your face, either!

Bob leaves.

Jiles slowly backslides down the locker holding him up.

Cut to commercial.

Conor Fuse vs. Scott Stevens

World Championship Match

There’s a small buzz of excitement reverberating through the Wells Fargo Center as the fans realise that Refueled’s main event has arrived and to top it off, it’s a match for the HOW World Heavyweight Championship. The camera quickly cuts over to Joe Hoffman, who is shuffling through his notes. He quickly stops in his tracks and welcomes the viewers with a gentle smile.

Joe Hoffman: We’ve reached tonight’s main event and it has been a match that is months, if not years in the making. Scott Stevens shocked the world at the Lethal Lottery by tearing off his referee shirt and eliminating Jace Parker Davidson to claim a future title opportunity. He’s been waiting for his shot for months and tonight, Michael Oliver Best has finally granted it against the HOW World Champion, Conor Fuse.

“A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams Jr begins to play over the speaker system, eliciting a surprising amount of cheers from the upper decks of the Wells Fargo Center, heralding the arrival of Scott Stevens. Stevens stands atop the entrance way, showing barely any emotion as he stares down at the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens has shown a remarkable amount of patience to get him to tonight’s moment. He’s endured being forced to be a referee, having Mike Best steal his child away, post humiliating news posts on our website… and these trials and tribulations designed to show him the door and yet he remained. He powered through, earning both this title match and a Hall of Fame ring to wrap up his 2021. You have to know that emotions are stirring strong as he walks down to the ring.

Bryan McVay: Tonight’s main event is for the HOW World Championship… introducing first, making his way to the ring at this time, he is the challenger… tonight he stands at six foot and six inches, he weighs in at two hundred and fifty four pounds… hailing from Houston, Texas… SCOTT STEEEEEEEEVENS!

A few fans reach out to slap Steven’s hand as he makes his way down to the ring but he’s barely aware any of them exist, all he knows is the ring in front of him and the challenge that awaits. The rolls into the ring and gives a polite nod to tonight’s main event referee, Joel Hortega, a man that has certainly had a coloured past with Stevens.

Joe Hoffman: Stevens is hoping that this match marks his path to redemption, a victory against Conor Fuse will give his run in this era some meaning but for the challenger, it is certainly easier said than done. The last time these men faced each other, it was over for Stevens in a matter of seconds and he will not be looking to repeat that this evening.

Hank Williams Jr is replaced by “Bloody Tears (Epic Version)” from Castlevania II begins. A purple mist floods the entrance way as “The Vintage” Conor Fuse emerges from behind the apron 23-seconds into the theme, which is weirdly specific but maybe he just has a very good internal clock. 

Joe Hoffman: There’s certainly support for the World Champion from this Philly crowd but I’d be failing in my job as a journalist if I said it wasn’t mixed. There’s certainly a strong underdog underground support base for Scott Stevens in this match and it’ll be a test for Conor Fuse on whether the response impacts his game plan.

He stands at the top of the rampway, head down, sporting a dark purple jacket with its high-collar raised. The jacket is open, showing his vintage SNES tights as he slowly raises his head. The fog continues to pump from the stage as Fuse methodically makes his way down the ramp. A contingent of the crowd show their support with a “!RANK” chant, pointing in Conor’s direction as he marches towards ringside. 

Joe Hoffman: In his comments towards Scott Stevens this week, he seemed almost disgusted at having this match, dedicating it to Jace Parker Davidson for reasons I don’t think anyone has comprehended. 

Bryan McVay: And his opponent, making his way to the ring at this time, he stands at six foot one and weighs in at two hundred and twelve pounds, he is the reigning and defending HOW World Champion… CONORRRR FUUUUUUUUSE!

Once in front of the squared circle, The Vintage leaps onto the apron and then with ease clears the ropes by jumping over them and somersaulting into the middle of the ring. Fuse tilts his head back and zen cries into the rafters while the fans in attendance continue to cheer him on. Conor removes his trench coat, revealing his trademarked light purple arm sleeve on his left arm. Fuse waits in his corner.

Joe Hoffman: As much as Scott Stevens is looking to use this match as a launching pad, there has to be a chip on the champion’s shoulder on HOW he won the World Championship at ICONIC. He will be looking to remind people that he is not a fluke and can get the job done on his own.

Joel Hortega does his final check on both men, raising the HOW World Championship up high for all the crowd to see and Stevens and Fuse finish up their in ring warm ups, neither one breaking eye contact with the other. Hortega signals for the bell.

 

Ding ding ding

 

Stevens wastes no time making his mark in the action, walking over to Fuse and drilling him with an open handed slap to the face. Fuse staggers and little but quickly regains his footing, a small grin creeping across his face as he snaps his attention back to Stevens and drills the sharp point of elbow into Stevens’ throat. Stevens returns the smile as he rubs his neck, nodding his head up and down. The theatrics are quickly cut short as both men rush in and start throwing wild body blows towards each other. Joel Hortega ducks in between them and splits up the brawl. 

Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens seemingly wanting to start this match on the offense, sending the message that this will not be a repeat of their one minute affair in 2020.

Stevens tosses Hortega out of the way, upsetting a few of his supporters in the crowd as he does so and drills a kick right into Conor’s gut. The World Champion is clearly winded and double over, clutching his stomach from the force of the Texan’s feet. Stevens follows up with a European Uppercut that sends Fuse staggering into the corner and Stevens immediately follows, giving now breathing space to the Champ. As Fuse leans against the turnbuckles, Scott Stevens licks his palm like a pervert and delivers a gunshot-esque chop right to Fuse’s chest, which immediately welts up. 

Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens has insisted he is learning from his past and his desperation for a victory has allowed him to take control of the match. He doesn’t want to let up and so far it is working to his advantage.

Fuse is clearly pained in the corner as Stevens continues the attack with a series of corner back- elbows, each one pinpointed for Conor Fuse’s jaw. Hortega gets back in the middle of the action, warning Stevens and asking him to back it up or risk a disqualification. Once again, the crowd gives a mixed response, some respecting the hustle, others upset at the rule flaunting on display from Stevens. The camera hears Fuse gasping for air in the corner and almost like a bull to a red rag, this drives Stevens back towards the corner. This time, the World Champion is ready for him and fluidly slips behind him, using momentum to his advantage and drilling Stevens’ shoulder straight into the turnbuckle. As Stevens screams out in pain, Fuse grabs the back on his tights and rolls him up.

 

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

NOPE!

 

Joe Hoffman: The speed of Conor Fuse was his life safer there, Scott Stevens was clearly looking to inflict further damage but Fuse managed to get out of the way and shift the moment to his advantage. Stevens doesn’t look like he will be put down easily tonight though.

The force of Scott Stevens kickout allows him to roll backwards and back up to his feet as Conor is launched towards the ropes. He manages to put on the breaks before he hits the ropes and turns back towards Stevens. The mere milliseconds in between presents the challenger with an opening and as Conor turns back around to face Stevens, he is drilled with a spinning back fist that sends him crumbling to the canvas. Stevens doesn’t even hesitate to go for the cover, trying to yield the opportunity presented to him.

 

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

The champion manages to get his shoulder up causing Stevens to throw his head up to the heavens in frustration. He turns his attention towards Hortega but Hortega reinforces it was a two count with a finger gesture and a shrug of the shoulders. Stevens considers arguing the call but given his in-depth officiating knowledge, decides to accept the call. He bangs his fist in the mat in frustration as he looks at the World Champion, trying to work out what his next move will be.

Joe Hoffman: You have to feel for Scott Stevens to some extent here, he is desperate and determined and any close call is going to be a complete heartbreaker for the man. He can’t let emotion rule him though, he’s in there with a very serious competitor who will take any opening presented to him. Stevens needs to calm his emotions if he wants to achieve his dreams.

Just as Joe Hoffman finishes his thought, Stevens bends over to scoop up Fuse but Fuse manages to catch his leg and roll him through into a small package. Hortega quickly slides in for the pin.

 

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

Stevens manages to power out and free himself from the clutches of the World Champion. The speed of Conor Fuse will not be deterred however and he rushes back towards Stevens, throwing himself up in the air, aiming for a shotgun dropkick right to the chest of the challenger. Stevens manages to side step out of the way and instead allows gravity to do its thing as Fuse crashes into the mat. Stevens moves into action, grabbing the winded Fuse and forcing him betwixt his thighs.

Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens is not messing around, he’s looking to use the most dangerous move in his arsenal. He knows the stakes of this match, he knows what victory means for redeeming his name. Will he be able to do it?

Stevens wraps his beefy Texan arms around the World Champion and hoists him up. The more agile and flexible Champion begins to wriggle around, making it challenging for Stevens to keep his grip, Stevens and Fuse both shuffle in the grab, each trying to take control of the situation. Stevens puts Fuse down to regain his hand positioning, drilling a few knees into the Champion’s gut as he does so. As Stevens hoists Fuse again, he looks to hit the Moral Compass. 

Joe Hoffman: If Scott Stevens can do this, we have a new World Champion!

Stevens pulls Fuse up but loses his grip on Fuse, allowing the champion to roll all the way up onto Stevens shoulders. Fuse spins around and forces his body weight down, trying to lock his challenger into a Victory Roll but Stevens manages to push him off. Fuse just barely lands back on his feet as he turns back towards Stevens, who is already rushing in his direction with some very bad looking intentions. Fuse gives Stevens the slip and launches him into the ring ropes. 

Joe Hoffman: Both men have clearly scouted each other, they are both showing they are ready for what the other one brings them and the momentum in this match can shift in an instance.

Conor Fuse leaps with all his might and drills Stevens with a shotgun dropkick right into the chest. As Stevens bounces backwards into the ropes, Fuse finally spots his biggest opening of the entire match…

HEAD STOMP!

As Stevens comes back at Fuse, Fuse manages to gain enough height to drill a standing Double Foot Stomp into his challenger. He follows through on the move, positioning himself on top of the shoulders of Stevens.

 

UNO!

 

DOS!

 

TRES!

 

Ding ding ding.

 

Bryan McVay: Here is your winner of the match, at a time of ten minutes and fifty six seconds…and STILLLLLLLL HOW WORLD CHAMPION… CONORRRR FUUUUUSE!

The camera zooms in on Scott Stevens’ dejected and heart broken face as McVay’s call sinks in. 

Joe Hoffman: After the way Conor Fuse won the World Championship at ICONIC, there were certainly a lot of question marks on whether he had really earned his title but I think tonight’s victory will certainly do a lot to silence his critics.

Joel Hortega hands Conor Fuse his World Championship as “Bloody Tears” booms across the arena. There is only one way to describe the World Champion’s expression:

Relief.

Fuse holds the belt up high to the support from his Philly followers.

Joe Hoffman: Scott Stevens came to fight but the resilience and speed of the World Champion caught him in the end. The next step in Conor Fuse’s championship journey is a big question mark but for tonight, he can enjoy that 97Red leather around his waist for another night. What a way to end Refueled! Thank you for joining us and we will see you in Cleveland next week!

Joe Hoffman’s voice slowly fades away with the light of the screen, Refueled LXXV fades off air with Conor Fuse celebrating in the ring.