Refueled LXVII
  • Event Type: weekly

Refueled LXVII

Event Date: July 17, 2021 at 10:00 pm

Brian Hollywood vs. Zeb Martin

We cut live inside the McAlister Field House here in South Carolina and we go directly to longtime HOW ring announcer Bryan Mcvay who is ready to kick off the 67th edition of Refueled.

Bryan McVay: This match is the opening contest for one fall! Introducing first… from Comer, Georgia, weighing two-hundred-fifty-eight pounds… ZEB MARTIN!

The mid-tempo backing drone and accompanying piano and outlaw Nashville guitar licks begin to kick up. The voice of Ben Nichols pierces through the melody as “Everything Has Changed” by Lucero blares over the sound system, and the vocal queue signals the entrance of Zeb Martin. The Watson Mill Kid steps out to greet everyone with the bill of his Levi Garrett Racing hat worn low to shield his eyes. A friendly grin on his face, he attempts to pull the hat down even further (a real shy boy) as he makes his way down to the ring while making sure to outstretch his arm for some old-school hand slapping. Upon arrival, Zeb climbs the apron and wipes his boots before ducking underneath the top rope, then gives a friendly nod to his corner audience before patiently awaiting for the match to begin.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome everyone to Refueled and we are not wasting anytime as we are set for our opening match…

Benny Newell: That entrance was probably more effort than Martin put into preparing for this match all fucking week…

Joe Hoffman: Well since the departure of Lindsay Troy–

Benny Newell: Firing! The dumb bitch got fired!

Joe Hoffman: Since her DEPARTURE, no matter how it came about, the remaining members of the 214 have been struggling to find their footing. Unfortunately, Zeb Martin seems to still be feeling the effects of that.

Benny Newell: Zeb should just give up on wrestling and get into something useful like making moonshine. What I’ve got tonight ain’t moonshine, but it’s still good! DRINK!

Bryan McVay: And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing two-hundred-twenty-five pounds… BRIAN HOLLYWOOD!

“Stronger on your Own” by Disturbed blares over the PA. Hollywood slowly walks from the back and takes center stage as he stands there for a few brief moments, closing his eyes. He reigns in the boos from the crowd as he gets in final mental preparation for his upcoming match. As Hollywood opens up his eyes, pyro shoots off in opposite corners of the stage as it makes its way to center stage. As the pyro hits the center, the camera zooms in to see the reflection in Hollywood’s eyes as he finally makes his way down the ramp, quickly taking off his vest and throwing it down with intensity. Hollywood makes his final push as he charges the ring, rolling under the ropes. He gets back to his feet and looks about the entire arena glaring at the fans before he takes his place in the corner turnbuckle before turning his gaze intently in the ring as he awaits for the bell.

Joe Hoffman: If you think about it, this is a match of lost souls. Zeb’s lost because of the dissolving of the 214, and Brian Hollywood has been seemingly adrift for a long time now.

Benny Newell: That’s what happens when you’re more emo than the entirety of Hot Topic’s customer base. All he needs is some guyliner!

Joe Hoffman: Wait. how do you know about what guyliner is–

Benny Newell: You think I only drink because you’re boring and half of our roster sucks? I’ve SEEN things, Joe!

Matt Boettcher looks to each man in their respective corner, ensuring they’re both ready before he motions for the bell to get the opener underway.

DING DING DING!

The bell rings and the two combatants meet in the middle of the ring, a collar-and-elbow-tie-up quickly beginning–and ending just as quickly thanks to Hollywood driving a knee up into the solar plexus of Martin, driving the air out of the Comer City native. Another knee is enough for Brian to free himself, a fist lashing out to connect soundly with Zeb’s jaw before another follows, then another, then another, Hollywood keeping the pressure on as he drives his opponent back into the nearest corner.

Joe Hoffman: There’s no feeling out process here. Brian and Zeb are familiar with–

Benny Newell: Boring me to tears most of the time. Is it too early for me to take a nap?

Hoffman’s sigh manages to time itself to Hollywood delivering one final blow to Martin, Zeb left looking more than a little dazed after eating so many punches to the mush. Brian smirks as he turns his back and walks away before he’s suddenly turning back, a burst of energy spurring him forward as he roars his way into the corner with one Hell of a stiff big boot that Zeb catches all of!

Joe Hoffman: Turning his back on someone as game as Zeb usually is was definitely a risk, but it paid off!

Benny Newell: Well of COURSE it did! You said it yourself–Zebby’s a broken boy whereas Brian is a broken man, and that makes all the difference. I can drink to that!

Martin slumps back against the turnbuckle, barely managing to keep himself upright with that support–not that he’s allowed to catch much of a breather, not with how Hollywood is deciding that the best way to get Zeb out of there is by wrapping his arms around his opponent’s waist and bodily HURLING him out to the middle of the ring with a suplex, the Comer City boy landing hard! Hollywood is quick to go for the pinfall, Boettcher quickly getting into position.

ONE!

Zeb kicks out, the crowd cheering in relief!

Joe Hoffman: Finally, some signs of life!

Benny Newell: Ugh, no damn it! Let it end, Zeb! I wanna stare at Eli’s ass!

Brian is the first to get to his feet, but that pinfall attempt proves to be a shot in the arm of Zeb who is upright right after. It’s Martin’s turn to drill a chop into Hollywood’s chest, enough pepper on it to send Brian back into the ropes. Zeb snags Brian by the wrist, but Hollywood reverses to send Martin into the ropes–and on the rebound? Brian’s stopping him with a sharp kick to the solar plexus, doubling Zeb over and putting him in the perfect position for Brian to hook him up and drive his face into the canvas!

Joe Hoffman: BASIC INSTINCT!

Brian rolls Zeb onto his back and goes for the pinfall, hooking the leg for good measure as Boettcher slides into place.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING!

Bryan McAvay: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pinfall…BRIAN HOLLYWOOD!

“Stronger on your Own” plays as Hollywood rolls off of Martin, getting to his feet with a smirk at how he’s gotten the win..

Joe Hoffman: And with that win, Brian Hollywood has completed the hat trick of three wins over Zeb Martin!

Benny Newell: And once again I was proven correct. Zeb’s entrance was ALSO longer than this fucking match itself. No wonder this arena is not full tonight…who the fuck wanted to see these two go at it??

Joe Hoffman: The struggles for Martin continue and one has to hope that Hollywood can use this as some momentum heading into next week.

Benny can only chuckle as the camera lingers on Brian Hollywood’s hand being raised as Zeb slowly begins to stir in the background for a moment before cutting backstage.

Best Laid Plans

We cut to a backstage office currently occupied by Lee Best who is seated behind a desk with his classic Best scowl plastered on his face. Lurking behind him is the Monster, Clay Byrd, his face cast in shadows by his wide brimmed cowboy hat. The door to the office opens and the slender silhouette of Mina Starr-Kael slithers in, one of her eyes appears to be glowing red for a moment before she enters the light revealing both eyes to be green.

Lee Best: The fuck is this supposed to be? Where is Sutler? Where is that piece of shit grandson of mine?

Mina stops in front of the desk, a thin smile stretched across her lips as he stares at Lee unblinking. She takes in a sharp breath preparing to answer before her green eyes flicker toward Clay. The smile disappears, vanishing into a thin line as she seems to study the Monster from Texas with a curious expression. After a few uncomfortable moments Lee slams his hand on the desk.

Lee Best: Answer the fucking question!

Mina’s veridian eyes slide back towards Lee as the coy smile returns.

Mina Starr-Kael: The World Champion is preparing, as always, for victory. He wished me to relay to you that he would not be joining the Best Alliance, sorry Darling..mmheh..

Lee’s frown deepens as his brow furrows in anger.

Lee Best: Ah….predictable. The little shitstain seems to be all sorts of cocky now that he has the championship. Turning down the man that literally gave him that opportunity……not smart. Not smart at all. Maybe ol’ Clay here should give you some Equals Rights treatment to send Sutler a message…..

Mina doesn’t recoil, her pale, gaunt face seems to light up at the prospect of violence. A low giggle escapes her throat as she turns her back on Lee and Clay.

Mina Starr-Kael: Lee, Darling, this wouldn’t be the first time a BA member put their hands on me and certainly won’t be the last time I’m threatened by you. If you’re going to do it, just do..

She looks over her shoulder, her eye flickering red as she looked at Clay and then Lee, a wide smile stretched over her face.

Mina Starr-Kael: Far better energy spent on ruining young Sutler’s evening no? Best of Luck, Mister Byrd.. heh-heh..

Not waiting for an answer Mina swept out of the office leaving Lee smirking and Clay brooding as we cut elsewhere.

Miracle Whip

We cut outside McAlister Field House to find Brian Bare walking up to the famous Miracle Whip.  Famous as in ridiculous I suppose but regardless the passenger side of the car opens, and Steve Harrison jumps out and reaches behind his seat to grab his gym bag.  He looks back inside the car and motions to Jack who is driving, and Jack drives off to look for a parking spot.  Harrison turns and sighs as he sees Brian standing in front him.

Steve Harrison: Brian, I am not sure letting you ask me questions a few weeks ago was a good idea now.

Brian looks around with a worried look on his face.

Brian Bare: I am sorry, I don’t want to bother you but big night tonight and you know the fans want to know your feelings after a week of going back and forth with your ally, John Sektor.

Steve takes a few steps towards Brian and slings his bag over his shoulder.

Steve Harrison: You know, Brian…I am not sure tossing around words like friend and ally are going to get us anywhere.  John and I tossed some friendly descriptions of our relationship this week, but the truth is we socialize very seldomly.

Brian Bare: So, you don’t consider him a hermano?

The Miracle Man laughs.

Steve Harrison: Ha, please don’t ever try to say hermano again.  Let’s just say we will see after I win tonight what John Sektor calls me afterwards because I am not going to be tricked by fake compliments from him.  He thinks there is no such as Miracles while he carries the LSD Title.  I am not sure if anything could be more ironic then that shit.

Brian nods in agreement but only to please Steve of course.

Brian Bare: He has gone on record that you don’t have the experience or the confidence to overcome him.

The Man who will claim all Miracles tonight shrugs his muscular shoulders with a smirk on his gorgeous face.  Bald is beautiful!

Steve Harrison: Maybe he is right on both of those things, but I have more then proved I can get things done being less then that.  I see the bigger picture while he is doing lines off it.  What he sees as weaknesses I see as strengths because I can admit everything that has been wrong with me and then become stronger while I fix myself.  None of it matter though, Brian…

Brian Bare: Why is that?

Steve Harrison: When I am holding the LSD Title none of what he said will mean a goddamn thing.  He wants to prove himself to Teddy Palmer again but instead he will watch me beat Teddy at HOFC 2.  At Bottomline I will give him his rematch and a crazy four-way match will occur and trust me…Imma get those shades back from Clay Byrd or fifty bucks.  The Heart and Soul in a soulless world isn’t easy, Brian but I will prove The Best Alliance is not just the best but the Pillars keeping this business up.

Harrison pats Brian on the shoulder and walks by him as the camera cuts to our first commercial break of the evening.

Mitch Quinlan vs Eli Dresden

We come back from commercial with the hardcam and house lights pointing to Bryan McVay.

Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

Quickly behind the PA System kicks in as the South Carolinian faithful hear Hilltop Hood’s ‘Nosebleed Section’ and the cameras pan the audience, looking for which aisle way Quinlan might be making it to the ring with this week.

Benny Newell: Arghhh. I thought when we didn’t see any sign of this guy last week we’d be saved from having this stupid game of where’s Waldo.

It isn’t long before the camera settles on the commotion making its way down between sections 20 and 21 in this intimate setting. Draped in grey, Quinlan was quick to reach the guard rail and swing a leg.

Bryan McVay: Introducing first! He hails from Bell City, Ontario!

Benny Newell: Fuck, where is it?

Joe Hoffman: Well, while my partner here is tearing up the desk looking for… something… we still have our triple header of title defences to come, but before we get there, someone walks out tonight with their first win in HOW.

Slowly rising up each step, Quinlan keeps ascending to a perch on the top and second rope. Nodding along to the beat and the modest fan response, Quinlan goes into the last second prayer and a bow to the faithful gathered.

Bryan McVay: Weighing in at 255 pounds! This is…

And before McVay is able to finish the PA has quickly switched, ‘Never Look Back’ now playing throughout the arena.

Joe Hoffman: Mind games from Dresden here. She’s not waiting around for this one.

For his part, Quinlan just shoots a wry smile and plops down to the last second stretches, focused on the ramp.

Benny Newell: Yes! Found it!

Joe Hoffman: What’s that? Benny, you already have a near full bottle…

Benny Newell: This is going to be a double-fister, Hoffhole.

The overhead lights dim, blue and white lights flashing along the rampway as spotlights of similar shades swirl over the crowd. Eliza Dresden waits all of a second before she bounds onto the stage, her energy levels already through the roof thanks to the cheers –and that’s with her holding a lot of it in.

Bryan McAvay: And his opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 153 pounds…Eli Dresden!

Stopping at the top of the ramp, she thrusts a fist in the air… but she can’t be idle for long. She all but bounces and poings her way down to the ring, darting from side to side to slap offered hands and otherwise play to the crowd, earning a decent amount of cheers as she goes along. It’s about three-fourths of the way down the ramp that she abandons that, speeding up to slide into the ring headfirst on her stomach before she twists onto her back and kips up to her feet. She’s quick to mount the nearest turnbuckle, once again shoving a fist skyward to more of that positive reaction from the fans before she’s popping back down and turning to look toward the middle of the ring. As her music fades, she continues bouncing around on the balls of her feet, eagerly waiting for the match to get underway.

DING DING DING!

We start off with a feeling out process between the two competitors, neither one wanting to give an inch in this pivotal contest. You can almost feel Benny rolling his eyes hard at what seems to be a lack of action, but the pacing ends up being to the benefit of the technician of the pair, as Mitch catches Dresden with a double leg takedown that brings the high flyer to the canvas! Mitch back to his feet, taking note of how quick Eli is getting back to her feet. The former Olympian looks frustrated as she charges at Quinlan, who catches Eli with a hip toss that sends her crashing right back down!

Joe Hoffman: Mitch controlling how the match goes in the early moments here!

Benny Newell: This is gonna be one of them slow affairs, ain’t it Joe? I dunno if I have enough drink in me to get through it.

Mitch steps back, giving Eli some room to breathe as she once again gets back to her feet…but this time, Mitch decides to keep the momentum on his side as he sends her to the corner with an Irish whip that sends her colliding with the turnbuckle with a loud thud! She reels back, an opening that Mitch takes as he runs to the corner and proceeds to drive Eli face-first with a diving bulldog from the second rope! It’s the most dangerous rope for a reason as Mitch goes for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

ELI KICKS OUT!

The crowd is definitely starting to get into it as Eli slowly gets to her feet, staring Mitch down with a defiant smirk on her face as she taunts Mitch to “bring it on”…something the technician is willing to oblige with as Mitch goes for a collar and elbow tie up. This proves to be a trap when Mitch sends Eli to the ropes, looking for a clothesline on the rebound…because Eli ducks it, launching herself off the ropes on the rebound for a crossbody! Eli now goes for the cover, but Mitch powers out before Hortega can even get to the count of one!

Joe Hoffman: Look at the power on that kickout! Mitch is still very much in this contest!

Benny Newell: Well hell, I guess I stand corrected Joe! This could actually get very interesting.

Eli eventually rolls out of the ring, looking to take just a slight breather as Mitch gets back up. The break is a very short one as Quinlan heads out of the ring to follow Eli…who’s managed to pull a fast one on Mitch, as she slides back into the ring. Before Mitch has a chance to react, Eli runs the ropes, using the momentum to do some damage with a massive baseball slide! Mitch is down, giving Eli an opening as she springboards off the top rope to hit an elbow, and the crowd pops hard!

Eli slides back into the ring, taking another breather as Hortega begins the count:

ONE…

TWO…

Mitch is still down, but is starting to stir finally.

THREE…

FOUR…

Mitch slowly but surely starts building back up to a vertical base.

FIVE…

SIX…

Mitch is back on his feet, and rolls himself back into the ring to stop the count! With that, Eli is back on the attack, not even letting Mitch get back up before hitting a basement dropkick right to the head! Mitch drops down and Eli goes for the cover, hoping this is it!

ONE!

TWO!

NOPE, MITCH JUST MANAGES TO KICK OUT AGAIN!

Mitch is back to his feet rather quickly this time, as Eli runs the ropes for another crossbody…only for Quinlan to catch her with another hip toss! Eli back to her feet, but Mitch brings her down with a headlock takedown, cinching the headlock tight to slow the pace back down in his favor before once again going to work on the right leg.

Joe Hoffman: Mitch really showing us what he’s capable of with his technical knowledge here.

Benny Newell: I would sure hope so! You gotta keep the high flyer grounded, and this is the way ya do it!

Eli is eventually able to get back to her feet, but the wear and tear is evident as she is forced to work just a little slower, giving Mitch an opportunity to connect with a snap suplex that clearly changes the momentum of things. Feeling as though he’s done enough damage to the right leg he decides to focus on the prime target, going after the neck with a chinlock as he wrenches back for added torque. Eli is wincing in pain as she inches her way toward the bottom rope, managing to get there in the nick of time for the sake of her well being!

Joe Hoffman: Dresden making a good call going for that rope there, but you can tell she’s already been through the wringer tonight!

Benny Newell: If pain is weakness leaving the body, she will be invincible when this is all over!

Hortega starts a count but Mitch is quick to release the hold, showing that he’s not trying to be particularly sneaky in his offense as he steps back to allow Eli a chance to get up. The former Olympian makes it back to her feet, and she unloads a flurry of offense on the technician, with kicks and punches and anything she can to wear the bigger man down. There does seem to be some effect to this, as when Mitch sends her to the ropes Eli is able to once again duck a clothesline before hitting the sling blade!

Joe Hoffman: The OMFN connects! Eli could be on her way to hitting the GDI and picking up her first win here in HOW!

Benny Newell: Oh, goddamn it!

The damage done to Dresden makes it difficult for her to capitalize, as she struggles to get back to her feet. Mitch is already back up as well, as Eli goes for another OMFN…but Mitch catches her this time, swinging her around before connecting with a Deep Six! Mitch with the cover here!

ONE!

TWO!

THR–NO! ELI JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Joe Hoffman: Eli showing she still has some fight left in her!

Benny Newell: Oh lord, she’s gonna be singing that one song ain’t she? Something about taking back her life or whatever…

Mitch is amazed by the tenacity Eli is showing as she slowly picks herself up to keep at it. The desperation is starting to become evident as the two go hold for hold, something that Mitch manages to easily overcome Dresden on as he sends her flying with another snap suplex…but Eli is back on her feet already! Mitch knows what he needs to do as he sends her back down, this time with a half and half suplex…but picks her back up once more, locking his arms around her head before slamming her down with a full nelson bomb!

Joe Hoffman: Wow, look at the impact!

Benny Newell: Take a look, Joe! He’s setting up for the Kingdom Come, this could be all over!

Mitch looks to lock in the crossface cobra clutch, but Eli wriggles out before he can secure the body scissors! The crowd is in an uproar as she grabs Mitch’s legs and flips herself over, using her weight to keep Mitch’s shoulders down for the count!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Mitch gets a leg free but can’t quite kick out in time! This one’s over!

DING DING DING!

Bryan McAvay: Here is your winner as a result of a pinfall, Eli Dresden!

The ref raises Eli’s arm in victory and it’s evident just how thrilled she is to finally pick up her first win in HOW. Mitch gets to his feet, frustrated by the result but reluctantly offers a handshake for such a great performance…to which Eli accepts!

Joe Hoffman: What a match, folks! Some high flying wizardry from Eli Dresden and a technical masterpiece from Mitch Quinlan, with the former Olympian just managing to grab a win in a close contest!

Benny Newell: Yeah yeah, that’s well and good, but the real story here is that Mitch got cheated out of a win and then like a damn cuck offers a handshake! It’s disgusting!

Joe Hoffman: What!? Benny, that’s pretty low even for you, it’s clear that Mitch recognized he got outsmarted on this occasion.

Benny Newell: I’ll outsmart you, you…

Benny grumbles before taking another swig, and we take one more look at Mitch and Eli shaking hands before we cut away from ringside.

Ripe for the Taking

We head backstage where various stars and staff members can be seen heading off in different directions. However we focus on the dressing room of The King of Everything Jace Parker Davidson. Inside the room Jace can be seen in his wrestling gear with both of his hands taped up. He’s standing in front of a full length mirror admiring himself. He has both arms raised into the air and flexed as Madison slides in behind him placing her hands on his waist.

Madison: It won’t be long now. Tonight to step into the ring and battle Steve Solex for that brand new HOTv Championship belt.

JPD: I bet Solex has no idea the fight he has coming his way tonight. For far too long this gorgeous waist of mine has gone without Championship gold. I just hope he hasn’t dulled the shine on that brand new belt living in that shit hole that he does.

Jace lowers his arms and places his hands overtop of Madison’s on his waist almost picturing how that title would look on him.

Madison: Just don’t go out there thinking this is going to be a walk in the park. I want you focused on putting Solex down like a diseased dog. That’s the only way you’re going to pry that belt away from his grimy little hands.

Jace turns around to face Madison but suddenly there is a knock on his dressing room door that interrupts the two of them.

JPD: Come in!

The door opens and in walks Blaire Moise with a microphone in hand and a cameraman filming behind her. Blaire walks up to the two of them and raises her microphone up to her lips.

Blaire Moise: I was wondering if I could get a word with you before your big match tonight?

JPD: What happened to Bare?

Blaire Moise: I asked him about interviewing you and he ran down the hall in tears. So you’re pretty much stuck with me.

Blaire clears her throat and turns to face the camera.

Blaire Moise: I’m standing here backstage with the challenger to the—

Madison reaches out and places her hand over Blaire’s microphone.

Madison: What do you think you’re doing?

Blaire Moise: I don’t understand.

JPD: You can just come in here expecting an interview with The King and possibly the future HOTv Champion without bending the knee.

Blaire Moise: Yeah I heard about you making Bare get down on his knees but I’m not doing that.

Madison: Are you trying to disrespect The King of Everything?

Blaire Moise: No, I just—

This time it’s Jace that interrupts Blaire.

JPD: Just bend the knee Blaire. It’s not like you haven’t gotten down on your knees for lesser men. You don’t want Lee Best to find out you wouldn’t kneel for a man that’s about to be the Champion of his entire network.

Blaire Moise: The last time you made Bare do this Eli Dresden came to save him.

JPD: Does it look like Eli is anywhere around?

Blaire sighs and complies with the request and drops down to her knee.

Blaire Moise: Speaking of Eli Dresden—

JPD: I don’t even want to talk about Eli, that low blow artist. That little troll is going to get hers but not tonight. That’s tonight’s bigger than Eli, tonight is the night that I add another Championship to my resume and take it upon these broad shoulders to raise it from mid-card level to the main event status that it deserves.

Blair Moise: Well two weeks ago it was the main event.

JPD: It was against High Flyer so it really doesn’t count. No one is going to remember that match. The best part of that match was the fact that it ended. Travesties like that won’t happen when I’m the Champion.

Blaire Moise: And just how do you plan on getting that belt away from Steve Solex?

JPD: It’s simple really, Solex is a predictable man. He’s got two major moves that he relies on way too much. I’m going to work his arms and his legs thus eliminating his chances of pinning me with the Solexplex. That leaves the Solexecution and all I have to do is shove him away from me the moment he goes to hit it and he’ll be like a wounded puppy.

Madison: And that title belt will be ripe for the taking.

JPD: Solex had his 15 minutes of fame now it’s time the world gets another lesson on why they called me the Conqueror. After tonight you can call me the Greatest HOTv Champion that has ever lived. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a match to go win.

Jace and Madison walk past Blaire who is still on one knee and exit the dressing room as we cut to a commercial break.

JPD vs Steve Solex

HOTv Championship Match

Joe Hoffman: Welcome back, folks! It’s time for the first title match of the night, and you guessed it, that means we’re about to see a bout between two members of the Best Alliance!

Benny Newell: WHY, LEE, WHYYYYYYY???

Joe Hoffman: Some of us are handling this unexpected booking better than others.

Benny Newell: Jace or Solex? Solex or Jace?

Joe Hoffman: I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I think you need a drink, Benny.

As if he needed any pushing, Benny brings his bottle up to his mouth and holds it straight upside down, chugging away. After guzzling away, he lowers the bottle, breathing heavily.

Benny Newell: LEEEEEEEE, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?

The lights in the arena dim and the HOV lights up. A voice echoes across the arena, “The King has Returned.” The crowd stands on its feet as smoke engulfs the entrance stage. ‘Kingdom’ by Jaxson Gamble fills the building as a spotlight shines into the smoke. The crowd reacts with a mix of cheers and jeers as Jace Parker Davidson appears through the smoke, along with Madison by his side. Jace looks out at the crowd and soaks in the reception before locking arms with Madison.

Bryan McVay: The following contest is for the High Octane Television Title. Making his way to the ring, alongside Madison… standing at 6’4” and weighing in at 253 pounds… the challenger… JACE… PARKER… DAAAAAAVIIIIIIIDSOOOOOOON!

Benny Newell: Turn around, Jace! It’s not worth ripping this great group apart!

Joe Hoffman: I hardly thi-

Benny Newell: DRINK!

The two make their way down the ramp as fans reach over the barricade toward them. Madison veers off to the side as Jace slides under the bottom rope into the ring. Davidson pops to his feet, heads to the nearest corner, and climbs the turnbuckle to pose for the crowd. He hops down and stretches in front of the turnbuckles, waiting for his fellow stablemate and opposition.

Joe Hoffman: Jace looks awfully focused here tonight, and I can’t blame him. Chances at gold in HOW don’t come easy.

Benny Newell: This isn’t easy for any of us, Joe!

The beginning of “This Means War” by Avenged Sevenfold thumps from the sound system as the crowd explodes into a fury of boos and hisses. A montage of Steve Solex plays on the HOV, flashing on and off in rhythm with the music.

Joe Hoffman: And here comes the champ!

As the music stalls, the HOV goes black as the lights throughout the arena go dark. A bomb-like explosion blasts at the top of the entryway sending a plume of smoke up and in front of the HOV in the shape of a mushroom cloud, then the music picks back up and Steve Solex, with the HOTV Title strapped around his waist, makes his way out from behind the curtain.

Bryan McVay: And his opponent, the HOTV Champion… standing at 6’2” and weighing 252 pounds… STEVEEEEEE SOLEX.

The montage continues to play on the HOV as Solex stops atop the entrance ramp and pounds his chest twice with a white knuckled fist before throwing his hands high up into the air. He soaks in the boos from the crowd before marching down to the ring. No glitz, no high fives, just a fast paced march and the look of a cold blooded killer. He slides under the bottom rope and stares down the referee before finding his corner and resting back into it.

The two Best Alliance members meet on opposite sides of Matt Boettcher, who collects the championship belt from Solex. The champ holds out a hand toward his fellow stablemate. Jace nods while grabbing the hand for a show of good sportsmanship.

Joe Hoffman: Well that must make ya feel better, Benny. Looks like all is we-

Solex quickly yanks Jace’s arm and twists to power whip him into the corner!

Joe Hoffman: Looks like I spoke too soon! Solex taking advantage of the handshake to kick the match off in his favor!

Benny Newell: Where’s my backup bottle?!

Boettcher calls for the bell.

DING

Before you can even appreciate the smirk Jace shoots Steve for the clever tactic, the HOTV champ charges at him with an outstretched arm looking for a corner clothesline, but JPD dodges last second and grabs Solex from behind as he stumbles back after hitting the turnbuckles.

Joe Hoffman: An early and impactful belly to back suplex from Davidson!

Benny Newell: So many feelings! DRINK!

Despite the impact, Steve pops up nearly as fast as Jace. The two meet in the middle of the ring and grapple. Davidson pivots, grabbing the right arm of the champ and twisting it around his back. Jace cranks the hyperextended arm upward. Solex winces, then quickly counters with a heel stomp on his opponent’s foot, forcing JPD to release the hold. Steve twists and throws an arm out, hitting the clothesline this time and sending the challenger to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Solex showing his craftiness to get out of that hold and turn the momentum back to his favor.

The champ grabs Jace by the head and pulls him up, but Davidson quickly counters with a punch to the gut! Solex throws one of his own, but JPD grabs his arm and executes a fireman’s carry, quickly transitioning into an armbar.

Benny Newell: This is a roller coaster of emotion!

The champ twists and turns for leverage, then uses sheer strength and his free arm to lift his opponent while standing up himself then slams JPD back down onto the mat. Steve quickly mounts Jace and throws a fury of closed hand rights and lefts to the head. Boettcher taps the champ on the back as a quick warning, but Solex flails an arm to send the ref backward, then lunges down looking to take a bite out of his opponent’s forehead-

Joe Hoffman: The champ looking like a man possessed right now! OH MY! WHAT A COUNTER BY DAVIDSON!

Just before Steve can sink his teeth in, Jace snaps his head forward just in time to hit him with a gnarly headbutt!

Benny Newell: Did you hear that thud, Joe? I’d usually love that sound…

The impact stands Steve up like a rock ‘em sock ‘em robot and stumbles the champ as he tries to shake out the cobwebs. But before Solex can regain composure, JPD snaps upward and connects with a nasty spear. The champ rolls onto his stomach and Davidson pounces, grabbing the right arm and applying an adjusted brutalizer submission.

Joe Hoffman: Looks like Jace is really focusing on that arm here tonight, Benny.

Benny Newell: Well if you were in a war and you could neutralize your opponents guns, wouldn’t you?

Joe Hoffman: That’s actually… is this somehow sobering you up?

Boettcher checks on the champ, who shakes his head emphatically. Steve squirms, inching his way with Jace attached away from the middle of the ring and throws a leg out, somehow stretching just far enough to hit the ropes! Boettcher forces JPD to release the hold.

Joe Hoffman: Impressive ring awareness by the seasoned vet, Steve Solex, to get out of that devastating submission hold!

Davidson can’t believe it, and barks at the ref before turning his focus back on the task at hand – too late! Solex twists around on the mat and sends a kick to the back of Jace’s leg, sending the challenger down to a knee. Solex pops up and grabs JPD and whips him toward the ropes. Jace bounces off and Steve lands a quick side kick to the stomach. Davidson doubles over, Solex grabs his head under his left arm – DDT! The champ with a quick cover!

1… KICKOUT!

The champ glares at Boettcher while clapping to indicate frustration with the speed of the count.

Joe Hoffman: Gotta believe that pin was just a means to complain to Boettcher so the next count is more favorable. Smart strategy from the champ!

Jace, already snapped up onto his feet, showing off his athleticism he jumps and locks his legs around the champ’s neck for a hurricanrana – NO! Solex grabs him before he can fall backward and throws Davidson down onto his back!

Joe Hoffman: What a powerbomb to counter right there! Showing why he’s got that title!

Solex grabs JPD and lifts him to his feet and delivers a swift kick to the gut. He turns and grabs Jace’s head over his shoulder –

Joe Hoffman: THE SOLEXE- NO! Davidson pushes the champ forward to get out of the devastating setup move!

Steve snaps around and charges back at his opponent, but JPD quickly drops down and toe trips Solex, using his own momentum to send the champ down face first to the mat. Jace hurries over and grabs Steve’s right arm, extends it, then lifts himself into a handstand, bringing both knees down hard onto the stretched out appendage.

Joe Hoffman: The challenger continuing to neutralize his opponents’ strongest weapon!

Benny Newell: DRINK!

Jace, keeping a grip on the arm with both of his hands, kicks his feet back straight up into the air again, and sends his knees down onto the arm for a second time. And a third! JPD releases his hold and steps back, watching Solex roll on the mat holding his right arm with his left, clearly in pain.

Benny Newell: I can’t watch!

He taunts the champ to get up, turning Steve’s face red while he stands up on his feet. Davidson charges, jumps, and throws both legs forward to greet him with a quick standing dropkick, but Solex instinctively shuffles and pushes his opponent’s flying legs down away from him.

Joe Hoffman: Look at that pure instinct from the champ!

JPD quickly shuffles back to his feet and throws a right hand, which Solex goes to block, but before he can blink Jace sends his left leg up toward the opposite side of Steve’s abdomen!

Joe Hoffman: Cunning means of distraction there by Jace, but Solex somehow saw it coming!

The champ catches JPD’s leg with his right arm and pulls his opponent close, he throws his left knee into Davidson’s midsection and grabs his head under his left arm.

Joe Hoffman: Solex lifts him up for the Solexplex!

Jace sends his free knee into Solex’s thigh as soon as he’s lifted!

Joe Hoffman: WHAT A COUNTER BY THE CHALLENGER!

Benny Newell: They know each other like the back of their hands, Joe. It would be beautiful if it wasn’t so tragic…

Joe Hoffman: Alcohol is a depressant.

Steve releases his opponent and falls to a knee. JPD underhooks both arms and brings the champ to his feet, then lifts –

Joe Hoffman: UNSCRIPTED VIOLENCE! Davidson lands one of his finishers! But he isn’t going for the pin!?!?

Jace pops up and quickly climbs the nearest turnbuckle as Solex rolls over onto his back…

Joe Hoffman: The challenger jumps! He’s going for it – OH MY! BEND THE KNEE! BEND THE KNEE! HE HIT IT!!!

Jace covers! Boettcher drops down for the count…

1…

2…

3!!!

DING DING DING

Bryan McVay: Your winner, and NEW High Octane Television Champion… JACE… PARKER… DAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIIIDSOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!

Before cutting away we see the new HOTv Champion making Boettcher put title around his waist as he smiles from ear to ear.

Two Can Play This Game

Refueled goes backstage and to the Grapplers locker room where Conor Fuse has positioned a television in the center of it. Conor walks three steps back, holds his arms out to measure things and then nods with passion. Taking a seat on the bench in front of the TV, The Vintage reveals a wireless XBox controller. He holds it, pretending to play when Teddy Palmer enters the scene, dumbfounded at what’s in front of him.

Teddy Palmer: What the…

Fuse cuts Teddy off with a smile.

Conor Fuse: Hey pal! I’m all set for the big main event. I’m gonna do things the honourable way. So many people like an up-close personal view. I, on the other hand, will watch Clay and Sutler battle it out from here. All while using sound mind control [pointing to his temple] and brilliant gaming skills [holding up the controller with a child-like grin] to ensure Sutler squeaks out a victory.

Teddy has no idea how to respond to this nonsense. Luckily, Conor motors on.

Conor Fuse: You may be asking yourself “you want Sutler to win”? And I say to that, yes, why yes I do. Sutler is the opponent I wanna wrestle at Bottomline. I need to avenge our team’s loss from War Games. I’m all locked and loaded with cheat codes. I know all of Sutler’s combos and I can easily apply the Sutler Method, too. It shouldn’t be hard, Clay’s big and dumb. So dumb. BOT with low A.I. Then again, Sutler’s a stupid kid. Did you care for that “join me, don’t fight me” garbage he was spewing off? I didn’t.

Conor pauses to do a Sutler impresionation.

Conor Fuse: [Sutler impersonation] I don’t want to fight you. I just want YOU. You can be my henchman. Oh, hi dad. [/impersonation] What a waste of time.

Teddy Palmer: Yup. Mmmhmmm.

Teddy nods with wide eyes while backing towards the door slowly.

Teddy Palmer: Total waste of time. I’m just gonna…you know…I think I heard my name…

Teddy turns as he reaches the door and tries to make a quick exit.

Conor Fuse: WAIT!

Palmer halts reluctantly, turning back around. Fuse tosses him a second XBox controller. Teddy’s reflexes kick in as he catches the controller and then stares down at it with even more confusion.

Conor Fuse: It’s a second player controller. The LSD match is up soon, too. I didn’t forget about a thing like that. Now, you can play as either John Sektor or Steve Harrison, I haven’t calibrated the system for either yet. Whomever you want to win, let me know. I’ll make a few adjustments on the old tele and…

Fuse’s voice drifts off as he sees Palmer hasn’t looked up from the controller. Rising to his feet, Conor sighs, walks over to his teammate and puts his arm around him.

Conor Fuse: Real talk. [Voice lowers] I know you can’t really PLAY as either of them and I can’t PLAY at Sutler. It’s a way for me to calm the hell down, man. I’d love nothing more than to slide into that ring and punk both Sutler and Clay in the side of the mouth. Sutler, for his annoying STFU antics. They make MY antics look amazingly well thought out. And Clay… for being a waste of good potential. I’m not gonna get involved in their shenanigans. Imma simply watch the match. So, what do ya say? Watch the LSD match, too?

Conor slowly plys the second controller from Teddy’s hands.

Conor Fuse: You don’t gotta Play if you don’t wanna.

And then he tries to slide the controller back into Teddy’s hands.

Conor Fuse: Or…

Wide-eyed, hopeful, a kid on Christmas, it’s like the weight of the world rests in Teddy’s decision.

Conor Fuse: I won’t even be annoying. Promise. Like I said, it’s time to get serious. I’m sorry I lost War Games for us. But you and I, we’re still cool and that’s all that matters.

Teddy shakes his head as the slightest signs of a smirk creeps from the corner of his mouth. He hesitates briefly before grabbing the controller from Conor.

Teddy Palmer: To be honest, I’m more of a PlayStation guy…but fuck it. Let’s Play…

Conor Fuse: To be honest with YOU, I’m more of a vintage guy. NES, SNES, Atari…

Palmer takes a seat and Conor joins him.

Teddy Palmer: Dibs on Sektor. He ain’t losing my Championship to anyone but me. Hermano ain’t getting off that easy.

Conor Fuse: “The Old Man Suplex Machine”. It’s soooooo easy to play as him in the new High Octane game.

Teddy Palmer: Plus Harrison is a basic bitch. His move set sucks ass.

Conor Fuse: Bahaha I know, dude, I know. He’s awful.

Fade to commercial.

Steve Harrison vs John Sektor

LSD Championship Match

Back live and we once again cut to the ring where it is time for our next Championship Match of the evening…

Bryan McVay: This match is for the LSD Championship! Introducing first the challenger, from Fairfax, Virginia, weighing two-hundred-forty-five pounds… he is The Miracle Man, Steve Harrison!

“Take the Money and Run” by The Steve Miller Man starts to play and the curtain flies open. Steve Harrison walks out with his arms in the air and a smirk across his face. He makes his way towards the ring and waves at that crowd who return the favour with indifference. Eventually, Harrison enters the squared circle and his theme song closes.

Bryan McVay: His opponent, from Miami, Florida, also weighing in at two-hundred-forty-five pounds, he is the LSD Champion… JOHN SEKTOR!

“Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” by AC/DC blares on the PA as Sektor appears, title around his waist, looking all business.

Joe Hoffman: As we know, the LSD Championship is typically defended through gimmicked matches but Sektor wants to keep things standard, as it’s to John’s advantage. Lee’s obliged.

Benny Newell: Sound strategy. Sektor doesn’t need anything but three ropes and a canvas to show everyone he’s the best technician of all time.

Sektor enters the ring, hands the belt over to referee Joel Hortega and the bell sounds.

DING DING

Joe Hoffman: There’s no time wasted here. The two lockup… it’s Sektor getting the upper hand by twisting Harrison’s arm behind his back but Steve connects with solid elbows to John’s temple and flies into the ropes. Sektor puts his knee out but Harrison stops dead in his tracks, spins around and hits a very nice discus clothesline!

Benny Newell: These two are familiar with one another, as they should, being on the same War Games team.

Harrison throws Sektor into a belly-to-back suplex as he pulls to his feet and looks for a dropkick. However, the LSD Champion gets his hands up in time and they take the brunt of the blow instead. This allows for Sektor to grab Harrison by his legs when he’s on the mat, flip him around and apply a modified Texas cloverleaf submission!

Joe Hoffman: Going to the well early. The wily vet’s trying to finish this A-SAP!

Benny Newell: Harrison’s center of the ring, too!

The Miracle Man waves his arms around, trying to look for the ropes but knows they aren’t close. Once he comes to this decision, Harrison attempts to roll onto his right shoulder, hoping to escape the hold. Since it’s the early stages of the match, the former and forever Tag Team Champion has enough energy to do so and then Steve rolls underneath Sektor’s legs.

Joe Hoffman: Harrison is kicking his way free and he’s broken the submission in a pretty impressive manner-

Before Hoffman can finish his sentence, Harrison gets to his feet but he’s knocked right back down with a John Sektor clothesline. Not to be outdone, Sektor applies the modified Texas cloverleaf again.

This time, Sektor leans back as far as possible.

Joe Hoffman: The stubbornness of our LSD Champion… showing its worth right now! He won’t take no for an answer!

Harrison shouts as he tries to persevere. Slowly, the challenger places both hands underneath his chest, pushes up and pushes forward.

He moves… but not by much.

Benny Newell: Ah, just submit, Steve. Let’s get on with the rest of the night! Drink!

Joe Hoffman: The one thing Harrison has going for him is the notion Sektor may not have worn him down.

Benny Newell: Worn him down? That’s stupid, Joe. This fucking Texas cloverleaf is wearing Harrison down RIGHT NOW! Look at him!

Harrison pushes up and off the mat for a second time. He moves an inch forward but he’s only halfway there.

Another go, another inch. Sektor keeps the hold locked in.

Joe Hoffman: John Sektor is going to be one tough man to beat for this championship. I hate to say it, but Steve Harrison has the determination to potentially defeat him.

Benny Newell: Fuck, are you on your F game tonight, Joe. I hate to tell you that, I do. Harrison’s STILL in the submission hold. So let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves! Drink!

By now, Harrison IS close to the ropes. He reaches out…

And grazes the bottom rope!

Sektor attempts to walk Harrison back to the center of the ring but it’s the opening Steve needs. Instead of reaching out for the ropes again (and likely missing them because he’s not close enough), Harrison uses Sektor’s own momentum to push the champion forward. John stumbles on his feet, slightly, allowing Harrison to break free from the move, rise and kick Sektor in the chest.

Joe Hoffman: DDT by Harrison!

Sektor’s down and Harrison’s trying to rub feeling into his legs before using the ropes to stand.

Joe Hoffman: John Sektor is back up, too! He grabs hold of Harrison and throws him into a belly-to-back suplex!

And then another.

And a third.

Sektor tries for a release German suplex. It sends Harrison crashing into the ropes and falling to the floor below.

Joe Hoffman: Impressive, considering both men aren’t light heavyweights, that’s for sure.

As the challenger enters the ring, he’s met with a spinning forearm smash and then a rolling suplex…

…into another rolling suplex.

…into a falcon arrow suplex.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor hooks the leg! It could be over!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor’s back on the attack. He’s aiming for another German suplex… but it’s a standing switch by Steve Harrison. He performs a German suplex of his own!

Harrison hobbles around on one leg, working on getting the feeling back. As Sektor stands, Harrison hits the ropes and clotheslines the champion back down.

Joe Hoffman: The tides may have turned. Harrison’s taken a lot of punishment but shows good fight.

Sektor’s on his feet…

…clotheslined back down.

This happens a few more times before Harrison’s leg has recovered (or so it seems) and the challenger dropkicks the champion in the right knee.

Joe Hoffman: Neither man wears knee pads so that’s a good call. Keeps Sektor grounded, too.

Benny Newell: No shit.

Harrison stomps on Sektor’s knee three more times before he takes hold of John’s hands, pulls them back and gas pedals the LSD Champion in the back.

Joe Hoffman: It’s certainly not the crossface chicken wing but Steve Harrison is trying to separate Sektor’s arms from the rest of his body. No doubt a prelude to It’s a Harricle!

Harrison begins stomping the back of Sektor while tugging his arms as far back as they can go. Sektor screams, in an angry “once I get my hands on you” way. Finally, Harrison drops the hold, lifts Sektor and double underhooks John’s arms.

DDT.

Harrison floats over, hooks both legs in a high stack and the referee makes a count.

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT.

The kickout forced Harrison to his feet so Steve goes with it, bounces off the ropes and comes right back at Sektor with a headbutt.

There’s just one problem.

Harrison’s leg seems to give out, ever-so-slightly as he comes crashing down. While he DOES connect with the headbutt, it’s not nearly with the force Harrison had hoped for.

This allows Sektor to roll into a corner. Harrison gets to a knee, looking down at his leg. The second he looks up-

WHAM!

Joe Hoffman: Harrison’s almost decapitated with a STIFF boot to the head!

Benny Newell: Stiff as shit!

Harrison’s bell is rung as Sektor deadlifts him into a bridging German suplex!

ONE.

TWO.

SHOULDER UP!

Joe Hoffman: Crowd bought into that one, let me tell you. That’s one hell of a late shoulder!

Both men gain a vertical base, although Harrison’s favouring his right leg. Sektor chops Harrison hard across the chest so, obviously, Harrison returns the sentiment.

The chops go back and forth for at least ten rounds. Both men’s chests are a mix of red and purple. Harrison’s skin, to some extent, has broken apart. Sektor takes this opportunity to give him three more HARD chops which are not returned. Sektor hits the ropes.

Joe Hoffman: SPINEBUSTER slam by Harrison!

And immediately Harrison falls to the mat, grabs Sektor’s arms and throws them behind his back…

Joe Hoffman: Could we see the crossface chicken wing!?

Sektor is shuffling towards the ropes with his feet. He’s trying to get there before Harrison can apply the hold-

Referee Joe Hortega taps Harrison on the shoulder furiously, letting him know Sektor’s legs are in the bottom rope! Steve looks over, nods and stands. Suddenly, Harrison grabs his leg and this gives Sektor the opening he needs.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor clotheslines Harrison to the mat. Now John’s looking to lock something in…

Harrison lays chest-up, so not in the correct position for the Sektor Stretch. The LSD Champion has other plans, anyway. Seeing Harrison holding his right leg, Sektor begins to lock in a figure four!

John falls to the mat and the hold is textbook. Harrison shouts in pain as he tries to break the submission with his hands but isn’t successful. Sektor lifts his head, for only a second, trying to catch Harrison’s attention but the challenger is too busy finding a way out.

Benny Newell: I think John’s going to retain here. Harrison, once again, has nowhere to go.

Joe Hoffman: Yes but we’ve seen this Miracle Man live up to his moniker before…

The crowd anticipates a tap as Harrison’s been in the move for more than two minutes! However, with everything he has, Steve works in a similar fashion, just like when he escaped the second Texas cloverleaf. Harrison places his hands underneath him, pushes off and gains an inch closer to the ropes.

A good thirty seconds later, the challenger reaches out and finally makes use of a rope break.

Joe Hoffman: Unreal! But the damage HAS TO be done!

Sektor’s pissed. He rises to his feet and wastes little time, finding Harrison’s right leg and stomping the shit out of it.

Reckless, aggressive, Harrison tries to use the ropes but every time he gets to the second rope, Sektor’s boots knock him back down. Harrison reaches to protect his leg, but it’s no use. Sektor’s stops when Hortega’s at the count of four… since, after all, Harrison’s in the ropes.

Sektor walks to the middle of the ring. He lets Harrison get to his feet this time.

Or foot.

Sektor shakes his head. The champion charges the challenger but at the last possible second, Harrison uses Sektor’s aggression against him. Steve collapses to the mat in a strategic maneuver, while Sektor’s momentum takes him into the ropes. Harrison crawls from behind, takes a handful of tights and rocks Sektor backwards into a pin!

ONE.

TWO.

THRE- KICKOUT!

Joe Hoffman: WHAT!?

There’s some confusion but as Joel Hortega informs everyone John Sektor DID kickout!

Joe Hoffman: This is a hell of a battle by Steve Harrison. Hurt early and yet, TRYING to find a way!

Sektor waist locks Harrison and looks for an overhead suplex but Harrison grabs the ropes! He elbows Sektor in the face… once… twice… three times… Sektor’s forced to walk back to the center of the ring and regain the vision he’s just lost.

Joe Hoffman: Harrison charges at Sektor, connecting with a knee to the temple!

While Harrison hits the move with his good leg, he’s forced to land on his bad one first. Harrison hobbles momentarily as Sektor swats his arms forward, hoping to catch his opponent before he does further damage.

Joe Hoffman: The Miracle with a desperation facebreaker (codebreaker)! Using his good knee again, Steve drills it into Sektor’s head and falls to the mat!

Sektor flies up and falls backwards, landing back-first into a corner. Seething in pain, Harrison stands, smacks his right leg and goes charging in.

WHAM.

Joe Hoffman: Harrison with a modified version of the Enlightenment to John Sektor! He connected with the side of Sektor’s neck!

Sektor doesn’t fall from the corner, however. Instead, Harrison latches onto the LSD Champion’s head and pushes off from the buckle, planting Sektor in the middle of the ring with a bulldog!

The fans come alive, if not for anything other than the potential to see a title change. Harrison crawls on the canvas, knowing he better not put anymore weight on his leg before rolling Sektor to his side, finding John’s arms and looking to apply the crossface chicken wing.

Sektor, again, moves his feet towards the ropes. It’s a race for who can get there first.

Joe Hoffman: Harrison has the move locked in!

Benny Newell: No he doesn’t!

Joe Hoffman: Yes… yes I think he…

Sektor’s feet are in the ropes, so it doesn’t even matter who was right. Although, as Harrison shifts away, it looked like he wasn’t able to place his arms across Sektor’s head so the finishing submission was not locked in completely!

The challenger finds himself in a peculiar position, in the middle of the ring and the more alert combatant. However, he’s working with 1.5 legs right now and John Sektor has the ropes to help himself up.

Harrison looks to be at Sektor’s mercy.

Joe Hoffman: HARRISON WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE!!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

The crowd comes unglued as Sektor rises, punts Harrison in the side of the head and goes for the Sektor Stretch.

Joe Hoffman: HARRISON WITH A BACKSLIDE PIN!!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Joe Hoffman: John’s teetering with a miracle… twice in a row!

Sektor kicks Harrison in the chest, pulls Steve to his feet and connects with a vicious looking snapdragon suplex.

Sektor Stretch.

Harrison shouts in pain. He looks for the ropes but he’s nowhere near.

The crowd watches on. Eventually…

Harrison gives up by nodding his head when the referee asks.

DING DING DING

Sektor drops the hold as Hortega lets him know the match is over.

Bryan McVay: Here is your winner and STILL LSD Champion, John Sektor!

Joe Hoffman: That’s one hell of a fight. Harrison was hurting early, on one leg and almost won.

Benny Newell: Hit the bottle, John. You deserve it!

Hortega hands Sektor the LSD title as he takes time to recover on the canvas as well.

Joe Hoffman: At this point in his career, there’s not much John Sektor hasn’t seen.

Benny Newell: You damn right. Just another day in the office for him. DRINK! Everyone, drink!

Sektor looks down at Harrison and the two exchange a glance before Harrison reaches out his hand towards Sektor. The Champion looks down and smirks before slowly reaching out his hand and pulling the still dazed challenger to his feet.

Sektor pats Harrison on the chest and Harrison slowly raises the arm of Sektor and we cut away with The Best Alliance members standing together in the ring after one hell of a match.

!!!!!!

The HOV fires up for a video segment…

The last time we saw Rah in a HOW ring was at March to Glory where he wrestled Sutler Reynolds-Kael and lost.  Since then, Rah has dropped off the face of the earth.  Well, that is until a couple weeks ago when HOTv cameras spied Rah sitting in Judge Sarah Chamberlain-Haller’s courtroom in San Diego, California.  Why was he there?

Judge Chamberlain-Haller: The next item on the court’s docket is a civil action.  Ms. Sunny O’Callahan vs. Rah- The Sunshine God.  Ms. O’Callahan is suing for unlawful termination, a hostile work place, and emotional distress.

That’s right, Sunny O’Callahan filed a lawsuit against Rah alleging ‘unlawful termination’ after she was unceremoniously fired right before the March to Glory Pay Per View.  

During the trial, Sunny painted a stark picture of life working for Rah.

Sunny O’Callahan: It was terrible.  I’ve never worked in such a hostile work environment ever before in my life.  I’m the most, easiest person to get along with but I could not deal with the toxic atmosphere working for Rah presented.  There was jealousy every waking moment from Sports Entertainment Barbie. My job was to be the official spokesperson for Rah but Rah wouldn’t let me do my job in the best way possible.  I was subjected to offensive, unwelcome conduct that was so severe or pervasive that it affected the terms and conditions of my employment and prevented me from doing my job properly.

Following Sunny O’Callahan’s testimony, Sunny rested her case and it was the defense’s turn to rebut O’Callahan’s allegations.  First on the stand, Caroline Lewis aka C.J. Lewis aka Barbie-Q aka ‘Sports Entertainment Barbie.’  Barbie pointed her finger at O’Callahan and said…

Sports Entertainment Barbie: Everything that woman just said is bullshit (pause) thank you.

After receiving a sharp admonishment from Judge Chamberlain-Haller for using ‘inappropriate language’ in her courtroom, Barbie went on to methodically and systematically refute and rebut every single allegation O’Callahan made.  She painted Sunny O’Callahan as a person who wanted total and complete control of everything and was going to get her way no matter what it took.  As an example, Barbie recounted the time where O’Callahan ripped Rah a new one for going home and tending to his ailing mother and not doing a promo for March to Glory.  While Rah was away in Tennessee, Sunny decided that someone had to do it so she wrote the promo herself and tried to pass it off as Rah.  Barbie called O’Callahan a horrible person to work with.  

Next on the stand, HOW backstage interviewer Blaire Moise.  She also had less than complementary things to say about Sunny O’Callahan.

Blaire Moise: What a bitch.  

Cue further admonishment from Judge Chamberlain-Haller.  

And then a surprise witness turned up to speak for Rah.  

Dawn McGill: Yeah, Blaire’s right.  Sunny O’Callahan is a total and complete bitch.    

McGill, the manager of the new MVW Men’s Tag Team Champions- The Kentucky Redneck Mafia and currently serving as the ‘trophy girlfriend’ of one of the KRM- Cletus T. Johnson, took the stand and collaborated Barbie’s testimony- after, of course, being admonished for inappropriate language by Judge Chamberlain-Haller.

Dawn McGill: Rah may lack a stunning lack of self-awareness at unfortunate times, but he’s not stupid.  Rah doesn’t create toxic atmospheres or hostile workplaces, it’s just not in his DNA. On the other, Sunny O’Callahan is the poster child for toxic atmosphere and hostile workplace and she created the very issues she’s now complaining about.

When O’Callahan’s attorney tried to attack McGill’s credibility based on their long running friendship, McGill had this to say…

Dawn McGill: For the record, I have not spoken to Rah since January right before he wrestled Mike Best for the HOW World championship.  We are not on speaking terms at the moment.

McGill went in great detail how Sunny deceived Rah by fabricating a story that Sutler Reynolds-Kael was the reason that she went away to ‘motivate’ him in the match at March to Glory.

Dawn McGill: It was complete bulls… er.. a complete lie. The reason I went away is because Rah didn’t beat Mike Best for the title and that was the deal we made.    

Judge Chamberlain-Haller subsequently threw out Sunny O’Callahan’s lawsuit with extreme prejudice.

Now, fast forward to O’Callahan getting arrested in Missouri last week in the aftermath of the Definitive Erasure.  She went before a local judge and had this to say.

Sunny O’Callahan: It was a wrestling angle.  I didn’t think it was much of a crime.

The judge, not taking O’Callahan’s response very well at all, prepared to throw the book at Sunny until Rah stunned everyone when he walked into the courtroom and proposed an alternative solution.

What was the ‘alternative solution?’

***

Rah’s House
San Diego, California
Wednesday July 7th

Rah’s bus is running and the entourage is getting ready to hit the road.  

Rah sits in a lawn chair drinking a margarita with the umbrella and other drink decorations in the glass next to Barbie-Q.  The ex-ASU sorority girls seem unusually engaged as they eschew taking endless selfies with their cell phones and load the bus with inflatable sharks, inflatable palm trees, and all sorts of tropical paraphrenia and decorations you’d see at a Jimmy Buffett concert.  

Then Sunny O’Callahan comes out.  She’s not happy.  She’s not dressed up in the festive, Parrothead motif.  Sunny scowls at the former sorority sisters frolicking in the parking lot while she hauls the luggage to the bus…  ALL the luggage to the bus.  On her final trip, Sunny mutters under her breath as she struggles to load the final piece of luggage into one of the various compartments in the bus.  

After O’Callahan completes her task, Rah gives the signal and everyone begins to board.  Once Barbie, the ex-sorority sisters, and yes, Sunny O’Callahan’s on board, the bus fires up and prepares to leave San Diego towards its destination.

First stop?

Indianapolis, Indiana.  Why?  

Jimmy Buffett is playing a show there on Saturday night.

Next stop?

Cincinnati, Ohio.  Why?  

Jimmy Buffett is playing a show there on July 13th.

Next stop?

South to Nashville, Tennessee.  Why?  

Jimmy Buffett’s playing there on July 16th.

And after that…

Atlanta, Georgia.  

Why?  

Refueled 68.

Semi-GOD

The scene cuts backstage, the sounds of a kazoo playing “Everybody Wants You” plays as a “Starrgazing with Jatt Starr”graphic appears in gold cursive.  The graphic fades out and cuts to Jatt Starr standing behind a podium wearing a tight fitting t-shirt (which accentuates his new impressive physique).  The t-shirt, it should be noted, reads “Undefeated Against Conor Fuse” on the front and “Rumble at the Rock 1 – 0” on the back.   The music fades.

JATT STARR: HELLO STARRLESTON!!!! And welcome to the show.   Before I bring out my guest, let’s first take a moment to show appreciation for the man on the acoustic kazoo, the Wabid Wabbit.

The Wabid Wabbit offers a wave.  There is no doubt a slight smile behind the smiling bunny mask of his.

JATT STARR:  You lost last week, debut match.  HOFC.  How are you feeling?

WABID WABBIT:  You know my feewing on wins and wosses.   What I am not happy with, is the lack of spoahtsmanship from that weal pwick, Adam Ewis.  He could have at weast shaken my hand aftuh the match.

JATT STARR:  See?  He’s a selfish d-bag just like Sektor.   Man, I am hoping the Miracle Man kicks Sektor’s teeth in tonight!   Let him drink his sorrows away through a straw.

WABID WABBIT:  Jatt—-

JATT STARR:  I know, I know.  “Don’t let the past steal your present”.   Anyway, a few items to get out of the way.   The Ruler of Jattlantis has been asked if he is ready to return.  The answer is heck yeah I am.   Unfortunately, these “doctors” are telling me that my neck is still “injured”.   Pssh!  The Thane of Starrkarth feels fine.

WABID WABBIT:  Wewen’t you havin’ twouble gettin’ the shirt on eawier today?  I could sweah you needed like two people—-

JATT STARR:  No one needs to hear that!   Anyway, onto my biggest announcement!   You are looking at HOW’s newest “Health and Nutrition Liasion”!   Yeah, I know.  If Sutler Kael can make up a title for himself, so can I.   As Health and Nutrition Liason, a position I will be taking very seriously, you, the fans will notice certain changes at the concession areas.   All hamburger options are plant based.  Tortilla Chips and that gloopy, cholesterol clogging mess called “nacho cheese”, gonzo!  Welcome the pita chips and hummus.  Tofu dogs instead of hot dogs.   Buffalo cauliflower instead of buffalo chicken.  Anyway, you get the point.   Jatt Starr looks great and feels phenomenal and so should you.

Wabid Wabbit provides probably the only applause for these culinary changes.

JATT STARR:  Onto tonight’s show!  Originally, the segment this evening would have been titled either “A Byrd With a View with Clay Byrd featuring Jatt Starr” or “Byrdwatching with Jatt Starr” but he declined because, and the Sovereign of Starrgentina is paraphrasing here, his HOW Championship match against is more important than wasting his time on this show.  I nicened it up a bit.  Instead of Clay Byrd, we have a bit of a let down here, so come on out, HOW wrestler and Harry Potter aficionado, Xanadu Azkaban.

The kazoo is back in full force, this time gracing us with a…unique take on “Engel” by Rammstein as Xander steps out from behind a curtain holding a folding chair and a portly chap dressed as a butler wheels in an ornate throne for which Jatt Starr proceeds to sit (after the butler wipes it with a hanky). The head disciple of Eris glares at Wabid Wabbit, looking noticeably terrified as Xander passes him by to set his chair up before taking a seat.

JATT STARR:  Xerxes Azalea.  The Grand Overlord of Jatturn would thank you for coming on the show but we both know who should be thanking who.  For you, sharing the same room with the Starrcelona Icon is a career highlight.   Now, let’s get right to it, shall we?

The HOW Hall of Famer sticks out his hand and the Wabid Wabbit hands him a couple of index cards.

JATT STARR:  Now, it says here you are a worshipper of Eris.  Now, who is Eris?  Is it your mother?  You seem like the type with mommy issues.

This is met with a cold stare from Xander, the tension mounting…until Xander cannot help but let out a chuckle before speaking.

XANDER AZULA: You know, I get that a lot..but no, Eris is the divine creator of chaos. From her, everything was formed that ever could be–

JATT STARR:  Whoa there, Xenophobe Aceldama!  Not only am I already bored with you, but this is the HOW.  There is only one divine creator.  Wabbit Wabid!

The Wabid Wabbit, who may or may not have been amusing himself with a word game on his phone, looks over.

JATT STARR:  Who is the one true lord and creator?

WABID WABBIT:  Jesus.  Oah do you mean God?

The Baron of Boca Jatton drops his head in frustration.

JATT STARR (sighing):  I hate you so much.

The Champion of Jattanooga looks up.

JATT STARR:  The answer is LEE BEST!!!  Lee Best is the one true god in HOW.  He is the H-O-W G-O-D!   Forget it, this conversation is both boring and infuriating.  Your Beavis worship is clearly blasphemous.  May you entrails be infested with festering—-

The portly bearded butler walks in frame carrying a serving dish.  The Ruler of Jattlantis takes a serving spoon from the tray.

JATT STARR:  Thank you Anton.   I would offer you some but Philippines such as yourself do not deserve the experience of my ludicrously expensive beluga, chock full of B-Twelve and Omega-Threes.

The Mayor of ManJattan takes in the beluga and seemingly savors the taste, much to Xander’s disgust.

XANDER AZULA: If that’s what you truly believe Jatt, then close your eyes and imagine with me a vivid picture. War Games, in front of a sold-out crowd in the Tokyo Dome and with the whole world watching, including your own G-O-D watching from the heavens…

The Jattsylvanian Count stops, a look of anger bubbling up from within as Xander pauses with a devilish smirk just to see the look on Starr’s face before finishing that sentence.

XANDER AZULA: …as Dan Ryan decimated you–mind, body, and soul–and nearly ended your career. Where was your GOD then, Jatt?

The Savior of Starrkham leans in threateningly towards Xander Azula.

JATT STARR:  You obsolete little pissant!  Do you have any idea who you’re talking to???  Lee Best is the GOD of HOW, that makes me the SEMI-GOD!!!…OF THE HOW!!!!!  GET THIS FESTERING LITTLE HEMORRHOID OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!

The Wabid Wabbit proceeds to enter the frame to escort Xander Azula from the set. Xander pulls himself away just long enough to send the tray in Anton’s hand flying at Starr, covering him in beluga before Azula is pulled away more forcefully by Anton and Wabid Wabbit, noticeably pleased with himself as he leaves a horrified, furious, caviar covered Jatt Starr before we go the commercial before the main event.

Clay Byrd vs Sutler Kael

World Championship Match

Joe Hoffman: We are back wrestling fans and we have had one title change already tonight.  Will we have another?

Benny Newell: YES!

Joe Hoffman: The McAlister Field House is buzzing and we are ready for our main event- the HOW World Title match.

Guitar and harmonica begin to blare throughout the arena.

Joe Hoffman: This week Clay Byrd and the HOW World Champion Sutler Reynolds-Kael engaged in a war of words after the young champion rejected the Best Alliance’s invitation to officially join their group.

Benny Newell: Rookie mistake Joe.  Sutler Reynolds-Kael is making a big mistake.  A big, big mistake.

Joe Hoffman: And then Reynolds-Kael asked Byrd to join up with him.

Benny Newell: Brash.  Stupid.  Futile.  He thinks he’s Mister Wonderful but the champ’s going to pay the fucking Piper tonight and Clay Fucking Byrd is the man who’s going to collect.

“Gunning For You” by Nick Nolan sends a silence across the crowd as Nolan’s lyrics echo through the arena. Red letters slash across the screen as “BYRD” is spelled out.

My Gun is loaded it’s getting time
Two shots of whiskey i’m takin’ what’s mine
Ain’t what you’re sayin it’s what you do
Your time has come boy I’m Gunnin for You 

Clay Byrd appears on the ramp, cowboy hat low over his eyes, a long black duster on and a rope in his hand.

Joe Hoffman: And here’s the challenger.

When hell is rainin’ down
You’ll see my face won’t hear a sound
You’ll feel that bullet burnin’ through
Take your last breath boy
I’m Gunnin for You

He starts a slow walk down, eyes fixed on the ring, and trudges on until he reaches ringside.

There’s desperation deep in your eyes
No turnin back now no compromise
Cause only one of us walks out that door
The other bleedin out on the floor…

Byrd hauls himself up into the ring and casts a glance towards where the HOW World Champion will be walking out of.

Benny Newell: Sutler Reynolds-Kael is facing a real son of a bitch tonight.  Clay Byrd is going to give him a Texas-sized ass whipping and bring that world title belt back home where it belongs- with the Best Alliance.   

He doesn’t have to wait long as the lights in the McAlister Field House cuts out and the crowd cheers because that’s what crowd do when the lights go out. Suddenly “True” by Danny Elfman cracks creepily over the the sound system as the HOTv flickers #97red before a singular glowing red eye glares with hatred out over the crowd. The lights around the Field House flicker as dark figures can be seen stepping out onto the stage, each with a glowing eye.

The light finally stablizes as about ten individuals are standing on the stage, most of them have their faces covered by black hoods while wearing black suits. In the center is the green-eyed Mina Starr-Kael and next to her is the towering figure of MAXKAELJr with a scowl etched into his stoney visage. The music cuts out as the figures on the stage separate to make room for the arrival of the High Octane Wrestling Champion.

“Believer” by Solace rips out triumphantly over the sound system as the fans immediately begin to boo despite the fact the Champion has not yet made an appearance.

Sauntering arrogantly onto the stage arrives Sutler Reynolds-Kael wearing a #97red tracksuit with the World Title slung over his shoulder. Mina and the rest of the Kael Family don’t look particularly happy as they glare at Sutler who doesn’t appear to notice. Swaggering past Mina, Sutler holds the World Title in the area as the crowd pours down a shower of boos.

Joe Hoffman: And there’s the HOW World Champion.

Benny Newell: For just a few more minutes.

Mina follows Sutler a few paces behind as the rest of the Kael Family disappears backstage. The Son of Scions holds the World Title to the side as Mina collects it. With his eyes locked on his opponent, the President of Human Resources strips the tracksuit away to reveal his wrestling gear beneath before he snatches the #97red strap back from Starr-Kael. Slithering into the ring Sutler moves to the nearest turnbuckle while demanding that Clay Byrd be kept far away before posing with the World Championship held high in the area.

After enjoying a few moments of the fans’ hatred, Sutler jumps down and retreats to his corner.

Ring announcer Bryan McVay stands in the middle of the ring to introduce the two combatants tonight.

Bryan McVay: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!  This contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the HOW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

McVay pauses as the crowd noise rises in the arena and make it hard to hear.

Bryan McVay: In this corner- the challenger.  From Plainview, Texas.  Representing the Best Alliance. Weighing 295 pounds.  He is CLAAAAAAAAY BYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

A mix of cheers and boos for the man from Texas.  Byrd doesn’t react to the fans or do a whole lot other than glare daggers through his opponent across the ring.

Bryan McVay: And his opponent.  From Chicago, Illinois.  Weighing in tonight at one-hundred-eight-nine pounds.  Accompanied to the ring by Mina Starr-Kael, this is the HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION!  SUTLER REYNOLDS-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEL!

The fans of Charleston, South Carolina greets the champion with a healthy dose of boos.

Joe Hoffman: Neither man in this match are fan favorites-

Benny Newell: Fuck the fans Joe.  The only thing that matters is the #97 Red title belt and this is the night Clay Byrd finally wins the big one and brings the belt back home.

Joe Hoffman: Clay’s walked through a murderer’s row of HOW stars in the past few weeks that’s for sure.  Two great matches with Teddy Palmer.  Mike Best.  Cecilworth Farthington.  Tonight?  Sutler Reynolds-Kael.  Can he somehow bring hell to the ring one more time?  Or will Sutler Reynolds-Kael, the lone survivor at War Games, HOW World Champion at age 19, walk away from this match with the title belt.

Benny Newell: Sutler Reynolds-Kael won at War Games because the Best Alliance had his back.  Period.  He walked away from Lee’s generous offer to join.  Clay Byrd and the Best Alliance are going to walk all over his ass tonight.

Reynolds-Kael again parades around the ring to show off the belt to the fans one more time.  He shows it to Mina Starr-Kael.  She does not return the gaze and stares at Clay Byrd.  Sutler steps in her line of sight in front of Byrd.  He raises the belt in front of Byrd’s face.  Byrd doesn’t appreciate the gesture and swats at the champion.  Shoving follows, the crowd roars, and referee Matt Boettcher has to get in between the two.

Joe Hoffman: Oh oh.  Clay Byrd didn’t like something the champion did and he’s pissed.

Boettcher tries to keep them apart but Byrd tries like hell to get around him.

Benny Newell: All Sutler is doing is taking a baseball bat to a giant wasp nest Joe.

Boettcher tells Byrd to get back to his corner.  Sutler shoves the Title into the chest of Boettcher’s chest and slinks back to his.

Benny Newell: He’s about to learn what Lindsay Troy, Dan Ryan, Grappler’s Local 8675309… whatever… he’s going to learn you don’t fuck with the Best Alliance.  The Best Alliance fucks with-

Sutler rushes forward.  Byrd sees him and slips to the side.  Reynolds-Kael drives a forearm to Boettcher’s back instead.

Joe Hoffman: The champion tried to blindside Clay Byrd!  Now they are fighting in the corner.

Boettcher hurriedly calls for the bell and this match is officially underway.

Right hand by Byrd.  Right hand by Byrd.  Another right by Byrd.  Sutler gets a right hand in.  Two more rapid-fire right hands by Byrd rocks Sutler and a BIG right hand by the challenger lifts the champion off his feet to a hard landing on his back a few feet away.  The crowd is standing and loving every second of this.

Benny Newell: YESSSSSSSS!

Joe Hoffman: It is all Clay Byrd and Sutler Reynolds-Kael rolls out of the ring to get away from him.

Byrd follows right after Sutler.  He spins the champion around and lands two more heavy right hands.  Byrd slams Sutler’s head into the steel barricade.   Reynolds-Kael careens away from him and manages to roll himself back into the ring.  Byrd again right behind him.  He spins Sutler around.  Lift.

Joe Hoffman: SPINEBUSTER!  Byrd right for a lateral press.

ONE…

TW- Reynolds-Kael kicks out.

This time he hooks a leg.

ONE…

TWO…again the champion kicks out.

Joe Hoffman:  What a start to this match!

Benny Newell: NOW WE GO!

Byrd waits for the champion to get to his knees and slams him head first to the mat.   Sutler rolls over and tries to beg off as Byrd methodically walks around him.

Benny Newell: I told you!  He fucked with the wrong guy!

He pulls Reynolds-Kael up and slaps on a front facelock.  Byrd leans on Sutler’s back to exert pressure.

Reynolds-Kael tries to force his way out but Byrd’s not having it.

Joe Hoffman: Not going to work with someone with Byrd’s strength.

Byrd pushes down even harder on the back.

Joe Hoffman: After the lightning fast start, Clay Byrd is now trying to wear down the champion.

Benny Newell: It’s all going to plan.  Clay Byrd is going to grind Sutler Reynolds-Kael into dust when he’s done with him.

Byrd takes the champion over to and shoves him neck first across the top rope.  Again he pushes down on him.

Joe Hoffman: There’s a blatant choke right there by Byrd.

Benny Newell: Choke?  What choke?

Boettcher starts a five count.

Byrd breaks the hold at 4.5.  He steps back and then shoves Reynolds-Kael’s neck first back over the top rope.

Joe Hoffman: Another blatant choke right there by Byrd!

Sutler looks at Mina and mouths ‘help’.  Mina looks away and does not offer any assistance.  Boettcher starts another five count.

Byrd again breaks the hold at 4.5.

Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd is walking a fine line here.

Boettcher has a few choice words for the Texan but Byrd brushes past him and slaps a Full Nelson on Reynolds-Kael.    Sutler drops down to escape but Byrd holds on and turns him over.

ONE…

TW-

Joe Hoffman: The champion kicks out but Byrd is all over him.

Byrd drives Reynolds-Kael into the corner now.  He mounts the turnbuckle and rains down right hands…

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

6…

7…

8…

9…

10-punches in the corner.  Sutler takes two steps out and does the Ric Flair flop.  Byrd rolls him over.  Cover.

ONE…

TWO…

THR- NO!

Benny Newell: COME ON BOETTCHER!

Joe Hoffman: I don’t know how Sutler Reynolds-Kael kicked out of that.

Benny Newell: Because as usual, Matt Boettcher has a slow three count.

Quick cut to Mina Starr-Kael outside the ring.  Does she seem the least bit concerned about the way the match is going?

Nope.

Snap suplex by Byrd right into a chinlock.

Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd has come out with malice on his mind tonight and he is throwing everything he has at the young champion tonight.

Benny Newell: Clay Byrd is taking the ‘young’ champion to the woodshed, Hoffman.

Sutler swings from side to side trying to loosen Byrd’s grip on the chinlock.

Joe Hoffman: Byrd is wrenching that chin back and driving that knee into the small of Sutler Reynolds-Kael’s back.

Benny Newell: Byrd is doing what he needs to do- squeeze the fight out of him.

Sutler veers to the right.  He grabs Byrd’s left arm and rolls out into an arm wringer.

Joe Hoffman: Nice escape by the champion.

But Byrd reverses into an arm wringer of his own.  He sends Reynolds-Kael for the ride.   Sutler ducks the clothesline and runs the ropes again.  High crossbody by Sutler takes down Byrd.  He hooks the leg.

ONE…

TW- Byrd kicks out.  Reynolds-Kael lands a few feet away from him.

Joe Hoffman: Sutler tries to put an end to Clay Byrd’s title aspirations but the challenger forcefully kicks out.

Benny Newell: Not even close.  He got lucky and Byrd sent him flying across the ring.

Byrd again attacks.  He tries to throw Reynolds-Kael through the ropes.  Sutler adjusts and rebounds off the ropes.  He decks Byrd with a dropkick!  Cover.

ONE…

TWO- kickout by Byrd and again the champion lands quite a few feet away.

Joe Hoffman: Reynolds-Kael is starting to get warmed up.

Benny Newell: Last desperate gasp of a desperate man about to lose his title.

Byrd pulls the Son of Scions up by the hair.  He whips him to the ropes and charges in.  No one’s home as Sutler slid off to the side.  Byrd ducks a superkick.  He drops down and sweeps Reynolds-Kael’s leg out from under him sending the champion rib-first into the turnbuckles.”  He yanks Reynolds-Kael up.  Byrd whips him into the opposite corner as hard as he can.  He runs in – SUTLER GETS A KNEE UP.  Byrd doubles over.

Joe Hoffman: Despite talking all that punishment from Clay Byrd, Sutler Reynolds-Kael somehow had the presence of mind to get that knee up in time.

Byrd stumbles out of the corner to the middle of the ring.

Benny Newell: Lucky shot!

The champion roars out of the corner and drives his shoulder into the back of Clay Byrd’s knee.

Joe Hoffman: CHOP BLOCK!

Byrd’s leg buckles and he falls to a knee

Benny Newell: What the fuck is that?

Sutler off the ropes and drives the knee up into Byrd’s jaw.

Joe Hoffman: Rising Knee Strike!

Byrd topples over.

Joe Hoffman: Down goes Byrd!  Down goes Byrd!  Down goes-

Benny Newell: STOP SAYING THAT!

The champion hooks a leg for a pinfall.  Boettcher down.

ONE…

Benny Newell: GET UP DAMMIT!

TW- Byrd shoves Reynolds-Kael off of him and tries to get back to his feet.

*SMACK*

Joe Hoffman: Another knee lift by Reynolds-Kael!

Byrd again falls to the mat and slowly rolls back and forth holding his jaw.  Smirking now, Sutler walks around the Texan and pulls him up to his feet.  Byrd’s wobbly.  Reynolds-Kael shoots a double knife edged chop to Byrd’s throat.

Joe Hoffman: That was a devastating cross-karate-type chop from Sutler Reynolds-Kael.

Benny Newell: All that cheap, karate… karat-tay bullshit is illegal!  Disqualify him Boettcher!

Joe Hoffman: Um, Clay would win the match then but not the title.

Benny Newell: Right.  NEVER MIND!

Outside the ring, a quick shot of Mina.  Outwardly, she’s still seems not impressed with Reynolds-Kael.  But Mina does keep a close eye on Byrd.

Joe Hoffman: Byrd is still down and trying to catch his breath.

Reynolds-Kael takes Byrd by the head and slams it into the turnbuckle.  Byrd veers right and tries to hold himself up with the top rope.  Knee lift by Sutler stands Byrd up.  A second knee lift puts Byrd in a sitting position on the middle rope.  Jui-Jitsu open palm strikes follow and again Byrd falls to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: The champion’s opening it up now!

Benny Newell: More karat-tay bullshit!  Come on Boettcher!  Disqual-…um… make him stop!

Sutler pulls Byrd up again and sends him across the ring into the ropes.  Spinning forearm smash- Byrd ducks under and into the opposite ropes.  Reynolds-Kael off balance and tries to get turned around.  Byrd lounges at him.

Joe Hoffman: CLAY BYRD JUST SPEARED THE CHAMPION OUT OF HIS SHOES!

Benny Newell: YEEE-AHHHH!  DRINK!

Byrd immediately covers.

ONE…

TWO…

T-

Joe Hoffman: NO!  Clay Byrd thought he had him there. Reynolds-Kael just got the shoulder up.

Benny claps three times rapidly.

Benny Newell: Faster Boettcher!

Joe Hoffman: Byrd mounts the champion and unloads lefts and rights!

Boettcher warns Byrd about the closed fists.  Byrd waves him off and continues to pummel Reynolds-Kael.  Again, the champion turns and makes eye contact with Mina.

Again, Mina does not offer any help but she does make eye contact with Byrd.

Mina’s intense stare causes Byrd to pause for a split second.  Sutler senses the delay and pokes him in the eye.

Benny Newell: Don’t look at her!

As if she’s heard him, Mina shifts her gaze over towards Benny.

Benny Newell: Oh shit…  she’s looking at me.

Benny turns away and covers his eyes.

Benny Newell: DON’T LOOK AT ME!

He ducks under the broadcast desk.

Knee lift to the jewels takes the air out of Byrd.  A second knee lift to the balls topples him over and Reynolds-Kael makes the cover.

ONE…

TWO…

Joe Hoffman: No!  Clay Byrd kicks out but he’s in a lot of pain right now.

Byrd slaps on a head scissors on the deck.  Sutler maneuvers around and flips up and onto Byrd.

Boettcher counts.

ONE…

Byrd gets the shoulder off the ground.  The champion tries to leverage the shoulders back down.

ONE…

TW-

Byrd bridges and gets both shoulder off the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd is showing us his power.

Sutler drives an elbow to the sternum.

Joe Hoffman: Down goes Byrd again.

ONE…

TWO…

Bridge by Byrd.

Benny Newell: COME ON!

This time he guts out the pain in his knee and pushes up to his feet.

Joe Hoffman: He’s up!

Byrd backslides the champion.

Benny Newell: GO YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH!  GO!

ONE…

Benny Newell: What the fuck?

Boettcher waves the count off.

Joe Hoffman: Reynolds-Kael used the momentum on the backslide to stick his boot on the ropes!

Benny Newell: GAH!  DRINK!

Boettcher gets in there and separates the two.  Sutler slams a right hand to Byrd’s head. Body shot by Byrd.  Right by Sutler. Body shot by Byrd.  Right by Sutler.  Body shot by Byrd.  Back and forth in the corner.  Crowd on their feet.  Big right to the belly by Byrd takes the air out of the champion.  Byrd back to his feet.  Big right hand to the jaw stands Sutler up.  Another right hand staggers Sutler.  The champion takes two half steps and swings wildly at air.

Joe Hoffman: Reynolds-Kael doesn’t know where he is!

Benny Newell: Keep hitting him!

Byrd puts Reynolds-Kael’s head between his leg.  He pulls him up into a crucifix position… and slams him to the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Crucifix powerbomb by Clay Byrd!

Byrd hooks the leg.

ONE…

TWO…

TH-

Joe Hoffman: HE KICKED OUT!  THE CHAMPION KICKED OUT!

Benny Newell: NO!  SLOW COUNT!  SLOW COUNT!

Byrd agrees with Benny and gets in Boettcher face about the count.

Benny Newell: YOU TELL ‘EM CLAY.

Reynolds-Kael gets back up and runs the ropes.  Byrd sees him speeding back across the ring towards him.  He sets.  Sutler dips his shoulder and slams into the challenger at full speed.  Byrd latches on to Sutler.  The force of the collision causes both men to tumble over the top rope and land hard on the floor a few feet apart.

Again, the crowd comes to their feet.

Joe Hoffman: Sutler Reynolds-Kael tried to catch Clay Byrd from behind and drive him over the ropes.  Byrd grabbed him and pulled the champion over the ropes with him.

Benny Newell: I can’t take much more of this!  More Jack please.

Reynolds-Kael up first.  Byrd next.  He beats Sutler to the punch with a right hand.  Reynolds-Kael connects with a right of his own causing Byrd to lurch back to the ring.  He rolls in.  Sutler tries to confer with Mina Starr-Kael.  Mina leaves Sutler hanging and walks away from him.

Joe Hoffman: Mina Starr-Kael giving Sutler a little tough love there?

Benny Newell: She’s fucking creepy Joe.   She looks at you.

A scream.  Byrd has his big mitts gripped on Sutler’s hair and pulls him back towards the ring.  Reynolds-Kael fights back.

Joe Hoffman: Byrd’s trying to drag the champion back but Reynolds-Kael doesn’t want to!

Byrd takes him by the head and slams it onto the ring apron.  He rams Sutler’s head again onto the apron.

Cut to Mina.  Nope.  No help there.

Three times.  Four times.  Boettcher finally gets Byrd to step back.  Sutler get sat up on the apron and tries to get to the floor.  Again, Byrd pushes past the referee and brings him back by the hair.  Reynolds-Kael turns and faces Byrd- who still has a grip on his hair- on the apron.  KNEE LIFT BY SUTLER!  Byrd releases his hair.  Reynolds-Kael takes Byrd by the head and jumps down off the apron.  Byrd comes over the top rope, hits his head on the apron, and tumbles down hard onto the floor.

Again the crowd pops.

Joe Hoffman: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

Benny Newell: NOOOO!

Joe Hoffman: Clay Byrd has beaten the hell out of Sutler Reynolds-Kael tonight but now the champion has somehow changed the momentum of this match back in his favor!

Sutler scrambles behind Byrd as the challenger wills himself back up to a standing position.  Reynolds-Kael rushes in and drives the shoulder into the back of his knee.

Joe Hoffman: ANOTHER CHOP BLOCK!

Benny Newell: Fuck.  Drink.

Byrd rolls back and forth holding the knee.  Reynolds-Kael climbs to the top turnbuckle.

Joe Hoffman: High risk move coming from the HOW World Champion.

Sutler leaps and drives the point of his elbow onto the sternum of Clay Byrd.

Joe Hoffman: BIG TOP ROPE ELBOW DROP BY THE CHAMPION!

Benny Newell: COME ON CLAY!

Reynolds-Kael drags Byrd to his feet and rolls him back into the ring.  Immediate cover by Sutler…

ONE…

TWO…NO!

Joe Hoffman: BYRD GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Benny Newell: Thank Lee but how?

Now the champion takes Byrd by the head and slams it into the mat over and over and over.  He stomps Byrd’s knee a few more times for good measure and then steps back.  Sutler stands and waits for Byrd.  The challenger struggles to get back to his feet.  He turns towards Reynolds-Kael who spins around and drives his leg into Byrd’s face.

Joe Hoffman: SON OF SIN!  SON OF SIN!

Benny Newell: COME ON!  DO SOMETHING.

Sutler hooks the leg.

Benny Newell: ANYTHING!

ONE…

TWO…

TH-NO!

Benny Newell: HE’S STILL ALIVE…oh shit…

Joe Hoffman: SUTLER METHOD!  SUTLER METHOD!

Wasting no time after the pinfall, Sutler slaps on his side leg triangle choke to Byrd and squeezes for all he’s worth.

Joe Hoffman: HE’S GOT IT IN!

Byrd flails about but there’s no gas left in the tank and he’s fading fast.

Joe Hoffman: CAN BYRD ESCAPE?

Benny Newell: COME ON!   LEE-DAMMIT!

The last thing Clay Byrd sees is the disturbing image of Mina Starr-Kael’s face staring at him intensely before everything fades to black.

Boettcher raises Byrd’s arm.  It falls right back to the mat.  He waves his arms and calls for the bell.

*DING-DING-DING-DING*

Joe Hoffman: THAT’S IT!  SUTLER RETAINS!  SUTLER RETAINS!

Benny Newell: Son of a bitch!

Joe Hoffman: Unbelievable!  Once again, Clay Byrd was this close to winning a title and he’s denied again.

Bryan McVay in the ring to make it official.

Bryan McVay: The winner at twenty-three minutes and forty-four seconds and STILL the HOW WORLD CHAMPION…  SUTLER REYNOLDS-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEL!

Sutler rips the title belt out of Matt Boettcher’s hands and makes a hasty exit from the ring.    Reynolds-Kael scampers back up the ramp and turns around to greet his ‘adoring’ fans.

Joe Hoffman: What a night.  Jace Parker Davidson wins his first title since December of 2015- the HOTv Title.  John Sektor retains the LSD title tonight over Steve Harrison.   And Sutler Reynolds-Kael survives Clay Byrd in a twenty-five minute war to remain the HOW World Champion.  Any last thoughts Benny?

Benny Newell: Fuck off Hoffhole.

Joe Hoffman: Thanks Benny.  Well, there you have it.  That’s going to do it for tonight.  We will see you-

Benny Newell: Hookers and blow tonight!  Hookers and blow!

Joe Hoffman: Thank you Benny.  We will see you next Saturday in Atlanta, Georgia for Refueled 68.

Last shot of the night is Sutler Reynolds-Kael near the top of the ramp.  After taunting the fans one last time, he turns to leave to the back.  But there’s someone waiting for him.

The crowd pops again.

Why?

Standing at the top of the ramp clapping his hands as if he just watched Kael hole a 97 foot putt at Augusta… Conor Fuse.

We fade to black as the two stare each other down.

 

World Championship Match
Conor Fuse vs. Sutler Reynolds-Kael©

HOFC Championship Match
The GOD of HOW vs. The SON of HOW©

LSD Championship Match
Teddy Palmer vs. Clay Byrd vs. John Sektor©

HOFC No.1 Contenders Match
Cancer Jiles vs. Cecilworth Farthington

BOTF

The crowds have long left the McAlister Field House, the parking lot largely abandoned. A single, svelte figure makes her way across the parking lot toward a black sedan with a cigarette clenched between her teeth. Sutler and the rest of the Family had long left the arena following the title defense but Mina Starr-Kael remained behind to deal with last minute business dealings.

Suddenly she is illuminated by light from a vehicle that had been lying in wait. Her green eyes turn toward the two bright headlights as the cigarette droops down between her lips. The scream of rubber on pavement echoes around the empty lot as the vehicle, a long #97red limo, barrels toward her. The cigarette, still smoldering, falls as her lips stretch into a smile.

THUMP!

Her small body folds over the hood, rolling up and over the windshield before clattering across the top of the limo. Like a ragdoll she flies from the back of the limo and hits the pavement hard with a bounce before rolling to a stop after a few feet. Her arms and legs are twisted as a small pool a blood begins to form around her head.

The limo’s breaks bring the long car to a screeching halt. The driver’s side door opens as the massive frame of the Wahl appears, his face grime and cold. The back window rolls down as a familiar bald head becomes visible.

Lee Best: I tried to warn you….

Lee’s voice is harsh as he leans out, his head swiveling back and forth, an ugly sneer stretched across his face. The Wahl lumbers to the pile of human being that was previously Mina, kneeling down next to her.

The seemingly lifeless body of Mina suddenly convulses as she begins to cough and laugh at the same time, blood flowing from her nose and mouth. She doesn’t move outside of rolling over to stare up at the Wahl.

Mina Starr-Kael: ..t…that all..heh-heKAFF… you got, Darl-KOFF..ugh..

The Wahl reaches down grabbing her by the neck firmly before he begins dragging her toward the Limo, a streak of blood left in their passing. Reaching the back door of the Limo, Wahl yanks Mina up, her broken body pressed against the side of the limo.

Lee Best: For a so called smart bitch….you are one dumb fucking cunt. Let’s see if we can show you a new way to see things…

With his henchman’s hand forcibly holding the back of Mina’s head the sound of a pen clicking can be heard.

SPELCH!

THE #97red Bottomline Pen is thrust from the window of the limo as it sinks deep into Mina’s right eye. White fluid and blood spurt out as Mina lets out a blood curdling screaming.

Mina Starr-Kael: EEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH… fuck FUCK..not again..

With all the compassion of a meat grinder the Wahl turns and tosses Mina’s convulsing body a few feet away from the car before he returns to the driver’s seat.

Lee Best: Equal Rights Bitch.

As the limo rushes away a very pleased looking Lee Best can be seen cleaning the blood off his pen as he hums “Proud to be an American”.