Refueled LIV

The High Octane Television logo gives way with a quick blurb to promote the HOTV.ONLINE web address for the network before pivoting to a live shot inside The Best Arena.

The crowd is standing as one as the High Octane Vision screen above the entrance ramp gave everyone their cue that the show is now airing live…and also with that cue we cut to the announcers for the show.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome everyone to another Saturday night of action here on the High Octane Television network as we bring you another night of Refueled action. I am Joe Hoffman and as always I am joined by my Hall of Fame counterpart……Big Buff Benny Newell.

Benny raises his glass to the camera as Joe continues on…

Joe Hoffman: Tonight we find out who will go to March to Glory to take on Dan Ryan for the HOFC Championship as Michael Lee Best takes on Xander Azula.  Mike the proverbial favorite here but those that have been watching closely know that right now the World Champion might be at his most vulnerable as he also has to focus on his other March to Glory opponent…..Cancer Jiles.

Benny Newell: I honestly don’t understand why we don’t just have a full PPV card of the Son wrestling. I mean we want ratings and subscribers to the network right?

Joe Hoffman: Well as good as a run Mike has been on…..I don’t see him having eight matches in one night??

Benny Newell: Cocaine is a helluva drug Joe.

Joe Hoffman: Well I got nothing for that……..but Mike is NOT the only person fighting tonight. Our main event tonight will be the Tag Team Champions defending against Zeb Martin and Teddy Palmer.

Benny Newell: Jatt and Sektor are Hall of Famers. Jatt and Sektor are in the Best Alliance. Jatt and Sektor will not lose.

Joe Hoffman: Zeb and Teddy will argue its not that simple of a math equation.

Benny Newell:  It is common core math to those two fucksticks.

Joe Hoffman: Well that is NOT the only tag match as we have The Hollywood Bruvs in action tonight as they take on Darin Matthews and Brian Hollywood. We already know that the Bruvs are guaranteed a Tag Title shot at March to Glory so it will be interesting how they treat this so called warm up match.

Benny Newell: If they lose to Hollywood and Darin…..that contract deserves to be ripped up and they should head back to the land of defiance.

Joe Hoffman: Well we shall see how it goes……..we also have two singles matches tonight as Sutler Kael takes on Bobby Dean in a match that was booked by Lee Best from pure spite for their roles last week. You have to think there will be something extra in this match if it does not go the way Lee wants it to.

Benny Newell: Duh. You better believe that Lee Petty will be playing a role in that match…no fucking doubt.

Joe Hoffman: And finally we have our opening match of the night which is about to start here in a few seconds…….Simon Loveless taking on HOW Hall of Famer Scottywood……..and lets go to our ring announcer Bryan McVay as its time for talking to end….

Bryan McVay: Welcome to the opening bout of the night. Introducing first, from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at one-hundred-ninety-eight pounds… SIMON LOVELESS!

“Nobody Does it Better” by Carly Simon begins to play out over the PA system. The curtain parts as the theme from “The Spy who Loved Me” continues to play and out steps Simon Loveless and his girlfriend slash manager Missy Monet. Loveless is wearing his yellow wrestling trunks, which have the initials ‘SL’ across the front in black and black t-shirt, reading ‘Winter is Loveless’ across the front. Missy is wearing an extremely tight fitting dress which makes the crowd happy but Simon is there to remind them to keep their hands and eyes to themselves. As the song continues, Simon pulls Missy behind him making sure none of the mutants in the aisle are able to touch his manager.

Benny Newell: Looking fiiiiine tonight, Missy!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, BEG MOTHERFUCKER… BEG!

Seether’s “Beg” blasts over the P.A. system as red light bathes the stage as we see The Hardcore Artist walk out onto the stage with his barbed wire hockey stick in hand. Dressed in his black HATE jeans and anarchy vest, Scotty makes his way down the ramp, ignoring the booing Chicago crowd.

Bryan McVay: His opponent, from New York, New York, weighing in at two-hundred-sixty-five pounds… he is The Hardcore Artist… SCOTTYWOOD!

Joe Hoffman: Loveless is giving up a lot of weight and height here but he can still pack a wicked punch.

DING DING

Scottywood wastes little time and takes it to Loveless with a rushing knee to the side of the head. Loveless stumbles into the ropes as Scottywood walks back three steps and comes in again with a hard knee to the temple. The COO throws Loveless into the far ropes and upon return connects with a spinebuster, mounts Loveless and starts hammering his skull in with numerous forearm shots!

Benny Newell: Gotta love what I’m seeing, such pent up aggression!

Joe Hoffman: Scottywood hurls Loveless into the ropes again but this time Simon ducks a clothesline, spins Scotty around, kick to the gut and a double arm DDT.

Now it’s Loveless’ turn to reign down the forearm shots. Next, he takes Scotty’s head and starts drilling it into the mat before the count hits five from the referee. As Scotty rises, Loveless shoots into the ropes and…

Crunch.

Delivers a knee blow to the jaw.

Joe Hoffman: Scotty’s time to eat a knee!

Simon pulls the larger Scott to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Scotty tries to reverse it but Simon stays with him, rakes the eyes and then drags Scotty’s eyes across the top rope. Once again, the referee starts a five count and Simon stops at four… sarcastically disappointed he couldn’t get Scotty’s eyes all the way across the ropes from buckle-to-buckle.

Joe Hoffman: And Scottywood with a rake to Simon’s eyes now… inside cradle!

ONE.

KICKOUT.

Joe Hoffman: It was good in theory but Loveless escapes quickly!

Both men are up. Both exchange hard blows to the side of the head. The fans in attendance are enjoying the sound echoing throughout, knowing neither man is holding back. Loveless tries for a snap suplex but Scottywood breaks free and attempts a hard-out headbutt. It stuns Loveless… and The COO follows with a short-arm clothesline. Back to the mat they go and the reckless Scottywood continues to drill Loveless with forearm smashes. The Hardcore Artist starts to choke Loveless and referee Joel Hortega gets himself involved for a second time.

Benny Newell: Just let them go at it. I don’t want a beautiful contest. I want this!

Scottywood breaks the hold at four, rises and attempts a leg drop but Loveless rolls out of the way. This time, Simon’s able to connect with the snap suplex!

Joe Hoffman: Simon’s looking for another knee to the side of Scott’s temple.

And Loveless hits it. It sends The Hall of Famer for a loop as he wobbles around.

Joe Hoffman: Roundhouse kick puts Scotty back on the mat!

Standing moonsault. Simon hooks Scotty’s leg.

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT.

Joe Hoffman: Almost but it’s going to take more than that to put Scottywood down!

Loveless pulls Scotty to his knees and delivers numerous kicks to the chest. Shot after shot bounce off Scott Woodson wildly as The COO’s skin turns light red… to dark red… to a purplish color. However…

Joe Hoffman: Scotty grabs Simon by the foot!

The Hardcore Artist drags himself up, still holding Loveless’ leg…

Joe Hoffman: Enziguri! Scotty’s right back down!

Loveless follows with more knees and punches. Scotty looks overwhelmed at the moment.

Joe Hoffman: German suplex by Loveless puts Scotty right on his head! He’s not done, either. Dragging the New York native on his knees, for what seems like many times in this match already… Loveless is into the ropes… missile dropkick to the head MISSES. Scotty has a moment to recover as he rolls to a corner.

Benny Newell: That look in Scotty’s eyes, I haven’t seen him like this for a while…

Joe Hoffman: Ya. Scott’s enjoying everything. Which isn’t saying that much to be honest…

Scotty pulls himself up with use of the ropes. Once Loveless turns around, Simon walks into an atomic drop, followed by a spinning back elbow, knocking the spit right out of Loveless’ mouth. Scottywood’s into the ropes and shouts as he blasts across the canvas with a flying clothesline, flipping Simon Loveless inside out in the process.

Joe Hoffman: Ice Kick… NO! Misses! Loveless rolls out of the ring!

Scottywood exits, too. He looks for a forearm shot but Loveless drop toe holds Scotty into the steel steps right in front of Missy! Scotty’s head ricochets off the metal and Loveless throws him back into the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Simon enters… looking for the running yakuza kick… NO! This misses too! Scotty rolls out of the ring and now Loveless is going to get him…

Wham.

Joe Hoffman: LOVELESS is thrown into the same steel steps!

Missy Monet shouts upon seeing the events transpire!

Scottywood scoffs at his opponent. He throws Loveless back inside and hooks into Simon’s chest.

Joe Hoffman: Scottybomb!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT.

Joe Hoffman: Now looking for that Boston Crab-

Benny Newell: New YORK Crab! How long has Scotty been here for!? You should know that!

Scottywood almost has Loveless turned but at the last second… Simon slips his right foot out and kicks Woodson away. Both men charge at each other and Loveless lands a double arm DDT. Then mounted punches. This follows a high angle suplex… where Scottywood escapes!

Joe Hoffman: Rake to the eyes! I’m not sure Joel saw it!

Benny Newell: He didn’t! So crafty!

Ice Kick.

Game Misconduct.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE.

DING DING DING

Bryan McVay: The winner of this match by pinfall… SCOTTYWOOD!

Joe Hoffman: And just like that, Scotty gets the win. A great back-and-forth contest but the Hall of Famer gets it done in the end, eye rake or no eye rake.

Scotty rolls out of the ring, holding the side of his head with a slight grin. Meanwhile, Loveless comes to on the canvas as Missy Monet rolls in to check on him.

Silver Strand State Beach – San Diego, California
Yesterday Afternoon

The Southern California sun drenches the beach with rays of warmth down on an afternoon where the temperatures sit in the mid-70’s.

Rah’s followers – the ex-sorority sisters who love to take selfies – take the opportunity to frolic in the heat and…that’s right… take selfies.

Away from the beach, Rah’s busy lifting weights and getting ready for his big match at March to Glory against Sutler Reynolds-Kael.

Curious, the girls swarm around the Sunshine God.

Oh, and they take selfies.

Rah tries to ignore them while he tries to push up a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound free weight.  But when a sudden barrage of lights temporarily blinds his eyes and then one girl accidently bumps into him, the bar slips out of one hand causing the barbell to land on his chest.

Rah: Ooof!

It takes Rah a couple seconds to get his wind back.

Rah: Help!

Of course, the girls continue to take selfies while Rah struggles to move the barbell off his chest.

Rah: Um, a little help here.

The girls giggle, take more selfies, and pay no attention to Rah’s distress.  When a hunky young man jogs close by along the water’s edge, the girls peel away and go chase after him.

They pass by Sports Entertainment Barbie walking along the beach in her strapless golden dress sans golden heels.  Rah’s official spokesperson Sunny O’Callahan is with her, wearing sunglasses and a big hat to protect her fair skin.

Sunny O’Callahan: Barbie.  I love being here in Rah’s natural habitat.  Rah’s looking fit.  Rah’s looking trim.  Rah’s looking…

Sunny suddenly stops to gawk as she and Barbie have come up on Rah- still trapped on the weight bench by a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound weight.

Rah (struggling for air): Rah could use a hand here.

Sunny turns to the camera and shoves her hand in front of the lens.

Sunny O’Callahan: CUT!

Cut to…a few minutes later.

Sunny O’Callahan has somehow gathered Rah’s selfie taking followers…

Sunny O’Callahan (mumbling under her breath): Jesus, it’s like herding cats.

…and a few other people who just happen to be congregated on the beach.

Rah, his brown robe a fluttering in the ocean breeze, stands proud and steadfast, posing in a most regal pose in front of the group while the waves wash in onto the beach from the Pacific Ocean and then wash back out in the background.

Rah: Here we are in sunny San Diego, California where there’s no snow, just the warmth of the sun.  At March to Glory, the Sunshine God is going to turn up the heat when he faces…

Rah turns back to Sunny.

Rah: …who?

Sunny sighs.

Sunny O’Callahan: Sutler Reynolds-Kael.

Rah: Really?

Sunny O’Callahan: Yes.

Rah: But he has such great taste in movies.

The Sunshine God holds up the DVD of the film The Mummy, a movie that features actress Sofia Boutella who stars as a 2000-year-old Egyptian princess who as Sutler pointed out a couple weeks ago- “tries to fuck Tom Cruise.”

Rah: Do I really have to wrestle him?

Sunny O’Callahan: Yes Rah.  The match has been booked and signed.  

Rah: But.

Rah shows off another DVD he’s recently watched- Hotel Artemis, also featuring- you guessed it, Sofia Boutella.

Rah: Perhaps Sutler and I can take in a movie after the match.  Sofia Boutella has a new movie coming out called Prisoners of the Ghostland with Nicolas Cage who plays a notorious criminal who is sent to rescue the governor’s daughter who’s disappeared into a dark supernatural universe.

Sunny O’Callahan: Focus Rah!  Focus.

Rah shrugs and continues…

Rah: So Rah, the Sunshine God must face Sutler Reynolds-Kael at March to Glory- even though he has impeccable taste in movies and seems like a real nice guy.

Finally fed up with the Sunshine God going irrevocably off script, Sunny goes over to him and whispers something in Rah’s ear.

Whatever it is, it gets Rah’s attention,

Rah: Huh?  Sutler wants to cancel who?

Sunny sticks a firm index finger to Rah’s chest.

Rah: But I thought RahVision got good reviews.

Sunny rolls her eyes and whispers something else in Rah’s ear.

Rah: He did what?

She continues to whisper in his ear.

Rah (shocked and dismayed): No!  This can’t be true!

Sunny nods her head that whatever she just told him is true.

Rah’s demeanor suddenly changes.  Shock and dismay turns to…

Anger?

Rah clears his throat and takes on a more serious and authoritative tone.

Rah: At March to Glory, Rah… the Sunshine God… the Champion of the World… is going to destroy Sutler Reynolds-Kael.

Barbie’s ears perk up.  She glances at Sunny.  Sunny flashed a thumbs up to her.

Rah: Sutler Reynolds-Kael!  After your heinous act, Rah’s got no respect for you and at March to Glory, Rah has no reason to hold back anymore.  After Rah hits you with the Eye of Rahhhhh… after Rah takes you down with the Solstice Slam… Rah is going to do what only Rah can do and unleash the most incredible, the most devastating, the most spectacular new move in the history of professional wrestling…

Rah pauses and thinks.

Rah: …of which Rah doesn’t have a name for it yet but be assured, it will be indeed, the most devastating, spectacular, and unbelievable move in wrestling history.

Rah points his finger at the camera.

Rah: At March to Glory, Rah will unleash the fury of a supernova and bring the heat of a thousand suns down on you.  At March to Glory, there will be no shelter, nowhere to hide, and not enough water in the world to protect you from the searing heat that Rah is going to bring down on you.

The Sunshine God stalks off leaving Barbie puzzled and confused.  She turns to Sunny.

Barbie: What did you tell him?

Sunny indulges herself in a self-satisfied chuckle.

Sunny O’Callahan: I told him Sutler Reynolds-Kael was responsible for Dawn McGill going away.

Barbie: Wait… you lied to him?

Sunny O’Callahan: I wouldn’t call it lying.

Barbie: Oh?  What exactly would you call it then?

Sunny puts her arm around Barbie.

Sunny O’Callahan: I would call this… motivation.  If the promise of Dawn McGill fucking Rah’s brains out for one night was enough to produce the best in-ring performance of his career against Michael Lee Best, what do you think is going to happen when Rah steps into the ring against the man I told Rah drove his Empress, his Queen, his one-night stand, away from him?

She pats Barbie in the back and turns to walk away.  Mouth agape, Barbie just watches her leave as we cut elsewhere…

The HOV flickers to life as we are treated to a crackling video that looks as though it came from circa 1985. In bold black letters the words HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING appears before, in chrome, roaring to life with the sound of a bobcat’s growl, Human Resources clanks into place. #97 red fire consumes the screen before we are treated to Sutler Reynolds-Kael, the Son of Scions and President of Human Resources seated behind a plain looking desk.

The office he sits in looks as though it too was ripped straight from the 1980ies while a strange, slightly off-key musical selection of whistles and electric keyboard chimes merrily in the background. The room is saturated in tans, browns and off whites while Sutler himself is dressed exactly as he would be at any HOW show, a leather jacket covering nothing but bare chest.

The young man appears busy reading papers on the desk when he looks up, noticing the camera with a churlish grin on his face.

SRK: Well hello there High Octane Wrestling Talent and Fans, I’m the President of Human Resources and the Son of Scions, Sutler Reynolds-Kael but you can just call me.. When you’re earned my trust and respect.

He gives the camera a wink and a half smile.

SRK: A joke to show I’m cool and laid back yet not too personal to prove that I still know I’m better than you. You’re already warming up to me, I can tell. But on a serious note.

Sutler’s cheerful expression darkens as he shuffles some of the papers around on his desk pretending to read them.

SRK: My job in High Octane Wrestling is to ensure that we get the most out of our employees and ensure that High Octane Wrestling is a safe, secure and welcoming environment. We here at High Octane Wrestling have openings for all skill levels and all abilities, whenever the roster gets to large we just have a few Death Matches and kill off the dead weight, my Grandfather is a real genius.

The scene shifts from Sutler to what appears to be a poorly drawn line graph with an arrow indicating something is going up but there are no labels or a key to explain what the graph is outlining.

SRK: As you can see from this graph we have had a rise in lackluster efforts on behalf of some of the roster. I’m not saying ALL the roster are big, lazy, turdmuffins that are sucking all the joy and life out of this federation one shirt sandwich of a match at a time… but as the graph shows there are clearly enough.

The screen flickers for a moment as we are now shown another line graph, this time with the arrow going down across the chart but still no indicator as to what anything means.

SRK: As you can see here the quality of the show over the last few months have gone down thanks to the poor work quality of some of our so called talent. Again, I’m not saying everybody but as you can clearly see here by this graph the problem is getting out of control. If we keep this downward trend you can expect that the Best Family is going to have to set up a third throw away business and I just don’t know if Uncle Mike has the time.

Once again, the screen flickers as we are shown a Venn diagram. On one side we have Over 4000 Years Old and on the other side we see Labor Force. Where the two circles intercede a picture of Rah is seen.

SRK: Finally as we can see here people over 4000 years old are by far the laziest demographic of people investigated for this study representing almost zero percent of today’s workforce. They were the laziest demographic of people in this study proving that Rah is part of the WORST Generation…

We return to Sutler who stares toward the camera with a wide grin over his face, the weird music pumping merrily in the background.

SRK: And that is why it is my sacred duty to ensure that Rah, the Champion of the World, is given a proper education on hard work, dedication and productivity here in High Octane Wrestling. You’re on notice, Sun God, cause when you enter my office there are no Gods or Kings..

Leaning back in his chair Sutler tugged on the collar of his leather jacket, popping it up.

SRK: ..Only Human Resources.. Sutler.. OOOOOOooooOOOOOUT!

The HOV darkens as we go to commercial.

The heavy metal riff of Solence’s cover of “Believer” rips over the PA system as the High Octane Wrestling crowd groans and boos the arrival of the Son of Scions. Swaggering out onto the stage in a leather jacket is Sutler Reynolds-Kael, a contrasting head of long black and #97red hair hanging over part of his face in a delightfully emo fashion. His brash, arrogant swagger carries him to the ring as he largely disrespects the fans on his way to the ring, slipping beneath the bottom rope before posing in the center of the ring, his left hand raised to the sky while his right cuts his thumb across his neck.

Bobby who was waiting as patiently as possible bursts out of the corner with clothesline but Sutler seems him coming and ducks.  Sutler turns and begins hitting The Beautiful One with palm strikes.  Sutler stops begins to taunt Dean but Bobby smiles as the palm strikes hit his new extra skin defense.  Bobby grabs Kael in a headlock and begins wrenching as hard as possible.  Kael screams and begins laying in some knees to the side of Bobby’s left leg which weakens the hold.  Sutler whips Bobby into the ropes but is met with a shoulder block take down by the slimed down ex bandit.

Bobby hits a quick elbow and gets up and hits another elbow.  Dean feeling confident goes for another but Sutler rolls out of the way.  Bobby’s elbow hits the mat and Kael kicks at it in a sitting position and then grabs the arm trying to put an arm bar on.  Bobby shakes his arm and frees it.  Sutler gets up quickly and begins kicking at the arm again, Bobby pushes him away and stands up and is met with a knee to his face.

Bobby falls and rolls to the ropes as he holds his nose.  Sutler starts patting himself on the back and then goes on the attack.  He drags Dean from the ropes with his legs and starts trying to turn him over for a Half-Crab, but Bobby is quick to react and kicks Sutler in the ass.  Kael flies off and then turns around to a kick to his stomach and then a remarkably decent looking snap suplex follows.   Instead of floating over for a pin Bobby rolls through and begins laying Kael with some hard forearm shots to his face.   Kael lefts both of his arms to defend and attempts to grab Bobby’s left arm for another submission attempt.  Bobby pulls his arms back and Sutler rolls out of the way holding his face.  Bobby goes in for the attack again attempting a clothesline, but Kael grabs the arm and whips him to the floor.  Bobby jumps up and is met with more palm strikes but this time aimed at Deans shoulders, Bobby tries a kick but Sutler catches the leg and hits him with a smooth looking dragon leg screw.

Bobby holds his leg but rolls to the ropes and outside the ring to escape any new submission attempt by Sutler.  Sutler doesn’t wait and rolls out of the ring and Bobby with a hard right and then a left leaves Kael stumbling backwards.  Dean continues the attack punching and kicking at Sutler who doesn’t look very comfortable outside the ring.  Bobby whips him into the guardrail, Sutler holds his back trying to catch his breath but Bobby kicks him in the stomach and runs him into the ring post.  Bobby rolls him into the ring and picks him back up a hit a quick brainbuster leaving Sutler holding his neck.  Dean goes for a quick pin.

1…

2…

NOPE!

Bobby grabs Kael by his hair and lifts him back up and begins pumping himself up as he grabs Kael and OH NO He is attempting The Deaner Weiner as the crowd pops.  He takes way too much time though and all the scouting by Sutler pays off as he drops to one knee and a head butt to Bobby’s Deaner leaves him rolling on the mat.  Kael claims his innocence to Matt Boettcher and turns his attention back to Dean.   Sutler quickly climbs the turnbuckle and hits a top rope elbow drop and goes for his own pin.

1…

2…

No Way, shoulder is up quickly

SRK mutters to himself and tries to turn the non-pin into another arm bar but the small hesitation is enough to let Dean turn, and toss Kael off him.  Both get up at the same time and Sutler goes for another knee, but the new slimmed down BBD moves quicker then expected out of the way and then hits Kael with a belly to belly suplex.  Bobby lays on the side of Kael looking exhausted his cardio not quite catching up to his weight loss.   He rolls over and stares at the ceiling as he catches hi breath.  Kael rolls the other way and gets to his feet from the help of the rope.  Dean stands back up and they both stare at each, Bobby breathing heavily and Kael rubbing his chest.  BBD smirks and runs towards Kael but Kael reacts fast and hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker and then collapses to the mat.  He stands up slowly and begins laying in some quick kicks to the back and arms of Bobby not forgetting the damage done to Bobby’s arm earlier.

Kael reaches down and grabs Bobby by the air and picks him up and gives another quick knee and grabs his arms and starts turning as gets goes for the SOS.

Dean snaps out of it and pulls his arms as hard as he can, Kael moves backwards losing his grip and Bobby clotheslines the exposed neck of Kael.  Kael crumples to the mat and Bobby hits another elbow drop and goes for a quick pin.

1…

2…

Kick out!

BBD rolls off Kael and gets to one knee and then helps SRK back to his feet.  Dean tosses Kael into the corner and starts laying in some forearm’s shots.  Each shot begins to move slower which gives Sutler the chance to begin blocking shots.  He finally blocks and grabs and pushes Dean away. Kael runs at Bobby but looks to have suckered him in and picks up the running Kael and hits a quick Michinoku Driver.  Bobby falls backwards unable to make the pin.  Sutler lies on his back unmoving, Bobby finally moves and tries for a pin but SRK opens his eyes and is legs go up as The Sutler Method is the idea.  Bobby puts all his weight in moving backwards and just barely escapes from the deadly submission attempt.

Kael moves quickly and gets to his feet.  Dean follows him to his feet and they both move at each other and start exchanging strikes again, Kael hits a palm strike that moves Dean a feet away and then hits a Super Kick out of no where when Bobby attempts to get back close to him.  Bobby moves backwards and hits the ropes and comes back towards SRK but is then hit with a release overhead belly to belly suplex using Dean momentum off the ropes against him.

Sutler stands up with a smile on his face and starts to slowly walk towards Bobby as if he was hunting a deer.  Dean slowly gets to his feet looking wobbly his back showing to Kael.  Sutler gets to Dean and applies a bare-naked choke.  Bobby’s arms start flaying in the air as he attempts to escape the hold.  Sutler attempts to dig it in deeper but Dean moves as fast as he can towards the ropes and ducks his head.  SRK’s face gets smacked across from the face with the rope which cause him to drop the grip and hold his nose.

Kael shakes his head and then looks up to see Dean going for the Beautiful Dropkick.

NO!

Bobby just barely misses as Kael moves to the left.  BBD is on the mat and SRK moves quickly and grabs Deans head and rolls on the mat as he attempts to lock his legs around his shoulder and head trying to look on The Sutler Method.  He has the head, but Dean moves his body up and holds onto Kaels legs putting all his weight down on Kaels shoulder before his arm could get damaged.

1…

2….

…..

3….

Bobby Dean jumps up with a look of pure joy and amazement on his face.  He fists pumps the fans.  Sutler rolls out of the ring looking surprised at what just happened.  Suddenly a man jumps the guardrail with a hoodie on, so his face is not seen.

He enters the ring from behind Bobby and runs at him and dropkicks Bobby in the calf.  Bobby falls to his knees and is then hit with a running knee to the back of his neck.  The hoodie comes off to show Steve Harrison.  His face is wrapped only showing his mouth and eyes from the injuries he received form Dan Ryan the week before.  Steve picks up the lifeless body of The Beautiful One and hits him with Its a Harracle.  Harrison pops up and looks down at Bobby with the only thing but a smirk being shown on his mummy face.   He kicks at Dean’s neck a few times and then backs off and exits the ring leaving Bobby Dean clutching his neck and screaming in pain as we cut backstage.

Cutting backstage we see one half of the Tag team champions, John Sektor, in the Best Alliance locker room, lacing up his boots. He’s already dressed to compete in his retro lime-green and black wrestling attire and sporting a gold “StarrSek Industries” T-Shirt. His Tag team championship is draped over the bench in which his foot rests on while he laces it up.

He finishes lacing his boots and paces around slightly, checking the fit, before cracking his neck from side to side and puffing out his cheeks. He has a nervous energy about him as his gaze catches hold of the tag team championship. Kneeling down, he closes his eyes and presses his forehead gently against it. The Gold Standard begins mumbling something, presumably a prayer of some kind.

Enter Jatt Starr.  The Ruler of Jattlantis, sporting his red polo shirt and white pants, the LSD Championship around his waist and the HOW Tag Team Championship over his shoulder.  Both men oblivious to what just occurred out in the ring.  Jatt looks at Sektor with his Championship……

JATT STARR: Should I leave you two alone?

Sektor doesn’t respond straight away, instead he finishes his quiet mumblings before drawing a cross with his fingers down, up and across his chest. He then slowly rises to his feet and talks over his shoulder.

SEKTOR: You have your Gods, Hermano. I have mine.

Jatt nods, as if to say ‘fair enough.’ There is a hint of concern, however, on the Jattinum Standards face as he regards his partner.

JATT STARR: You good?

Sektor, raising an eyebrow, now turns to face the LSD champion, shrugging his shoulders.

SEKTOR: Course I am. Why shouldn’t I be?

JATT STARR: I dunno.  You ditched on us last night for the midnight showing of “Dawn of the Dead”.  You’re the only one that I know that can pull off the Tom Savini biker character.

The Thane of Starrkarth moves over to his official StarrSek Industries duffel bag and begins pulling out some markers, still trying to repress the image of a Tran-Seks-ual Sektor from the other night.

JATT STARR: Besides, you’ve been off your game a bit.  I would hate to lose these championships tonight to Teddy Suckspin and Zebediah “Bubba Joe Jim Bob Howdy Doody” Martin because you are not in your right mind.  LSD Champions don’t lose to people who go “mudboggin’” and sleep with their sister-cousin.

SEKTOR:  Amigo, you don’t—-

JATT STARR: They’re not just out to take our titles, they’re looking to take our match against those two dinglenuts, Jesse Spandex and Michael Unlikeable, at “March to Glory”.  We’re legends, gosh darn it!   We need to send Teddy Poo-sevelt back to wherever the hell he came from and Zeb Martin back to his inbred kin in the scrotum of Amercan empty handed.  Not that I’m perpetrating that all people from America’s armpit are incestuous, inbred, dimwtted hillybillies…..just him and his “kin folk”.  Does anyone even understand one work he says?   There’s no Rosetta Stone for whatever the turd language he speaks.

Sektor throws up his hands, having heard Jatt’s voice for long enough.

SEKTOR: Look, man, at this point you’re just rambling..

Jatt opens his mouth to speak again but thinks better of it.

SEKTOR: The fuck, anyway? You not trust me? You don’t need to worry,  Pappa. I got this! I know I haven’t hit the ground running this year but it’s just a blip. I’m allowed a fucking blip  aren’t I?

Jatt, sensing the venomous, tone just nods his head.

SEKTOR: And you’ve been acting really strange around me lately. You got something to say?

JATT STARR: Strange? I’ve been the one acting strange?  LSD Champions don’t act strange.

Sektor thinks for a moment but just shakes it off to stay on point.

SEKTOR: Look, I ain’t gonna lose these belts tonight. Teddy and Zeb are gonna be fired up for this but they ain’t us. They aren’t a team. They aren’t, hermanos! This is the turning point!

Sektor stares at his partner for a moment  trying to gauge his reaction, before finally softening his shoulders and opening his arms.

SEKTOR: Now come on, bring it in..

Jatt, hesitant, doesn’t quite know how to respond to this, having gotten used to Sektor not being the touchy feely type, at least not with other men. Another nod from the Gold Standard is all he needs to “bring it in,” as he steps into Sektors embrace. Sektor wraps his arms around him, slapping him on the back in a manly sort of hug.

SEKTOR: You and me, man. Remember, together we are un-fucking-stoppable..

JATT STARR: Before you say anything, those are markers in my pocket.

With that Sektor gives him a final pat on the back and pushes him away.

SEKTOR: C’mon, let’s go find Steve, make sure he’s ready to kick Linds in the cunt if she tries to get involved in this..

JATT STARR: Oof, I hope he knows what he’s doing, I hear her vagina is drier than a  corpse in the middle of the Sahara.  He might lose a shoe.

Sektor blinks his eyes before eventually letting out a single pop of laughter, which is followed by further laughter. Jatt then begins to crack up as the scene fades to commercial as the Tag champions roll with laughter about Lindsay Troys dry cooch.

Refueled comes back from commercial and pans around the inside of the Best Arena. The High Octane Faithful are wild with excitement, holding up their signs and yelling with their friends, hoping the cameras catch their antics and they appear on the HOV.

The shot cuts up to the second tier of seats….Section 214 to be exact…and amongst the fans most loyal to Joe Bergman and the other hard-working, good guys of HOW, stand the two men who will be competing for the High Octane tag team titles in the main event, and the woman who will go toe-to-toe against the #1 Dad-Soldier at March to Glory.

Zeb Martin: Helluva night so far.

The youngest member of this unlikely trio holds the mic with a smile.

Zeb Martin: View ain’t too bad, I reckon. I ‘member when I got tuh go a couple’a times tuh ‘rasslin at the Jawja Dome as a youngin’, sittin’ bout level an’ cheerin’ on my favorites. Thang is, ain’t no matter if yer front row, the nosebleeds, or right smack dab here in ol’ two-fo’teen: ever’body with a ticket gettin’ a show. An’ tonight, us three go’n deliver. Starrsek, Solex, ‘n the bawsman find out tonight that H-O-Dubya ain’t about what’s good fer the Best Alliance. It’s about what’s best fer this here family behind them iron rails. Whatchu got, Ted?

Joe Hoffman: Zeb Martin and Teddy Palmer have an excellent shot at grabbing the tag team titles away from John Sektor and Jatt Starr tonight, thanks to Zeb’s victory over Sektor just two weeks ago.

Benny Newell: God, I want to punch myself in the mouth every time that yokel speaks, but luckily I’ve got Jack Daniels instead, DRINK!

The crowd gives Zeb a resounding cheer as the Watson Mill Kid hands the mic over to Teddy Palmer.

Teddy Palmer: I’m not going to lie to the people: I’m a little pissed off about last week. StarrSek robbed us of the face to face we rightfully deserved as challengers. The opportunity to banter, build intrigue, and throw fists like fuckin’ equals. That’s an opportunity Zeb earned, ain’t no two ways about it. Cry, whine and bitch all you want, it was five seconds of fair and square. But rather than face that adversity head on, you both opted to puss-out. You invoked a game plan that reeked of fear.

Teddy pauses, looking nowhere in particular, tapping the microphone on his chin.

Teddy Palmer: You can feel that grip on those Championships slipping. The fact you haven’t defended those belts since GOD knows when is indication enough. The Best Alliance not expecting Sektor to lose to my boy Zeb and being forced to defend ‘em is indication enough. And you have every right to be fuckin’ fearful tonight. Those titles are coming home with us.

He passes the mic to Lindsay Troy, who accepts it with a smirk.

Lindsay Troy: Sixty-three days. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been in a High Octane ring. That’s how long it’s been since Hughie and I took a tumble from a scaffold at ICONIC and the amount of borrowed time that Jatt Starr’s had as LSD Champion. But we all know that Lee Best protects his own, and doesn’t want to see any belts fall outside the protective cocoon of the Best Alliance. So while he’s kept me from taking back what’s rightfully mine, by keeping me out of the ring, I’ve decided to occupy my time by setting my sights on another one of his lil’ lapdogs.

The Queen’s face contorts into a sneer; the crowd in 214 growing louder and more supportive.

Lindsay Troy: I’ve never been one to demand women’s rights in this business…for over 20 years, I’ve simply gone out and taken them, from worse men than Steve Solex, and from better men than him too. I don’t consider myself a poster child for his version of “Equal Rights,” since it’s nothing more than a mockery. And that’s why, come March to Glory….

“This Means War” by Avenged Sevenfold blasts throughout the Best Arena, and the fans erupt into BOOOOs. The combat veteran himself strides out onto the stage, looking smug as ever twirling a microphone in his right hand.  He paces arrogantly around the stage, mocking Troy with a fake crying face and wiping phantom tears from his cheeks.  The music dies down as the fans continue to boo wildly.

Steve Solex: Oh, take it down a notch. You people need to show some fuckin’ respect. I am  a great American and hero! I’m the fuckin’ Dad-Solider ad  should be bronzed and placed in the Hall of Fame of the United States of America, not be demonized by you ungrateful fucks!

The crowd explodes in jeers as Steve Solex leans backward and belly-laughs away.

Steve Solex: Oh, LT…it may have been 63 days since you’ve been in the ring, but it hasn’t been 63 days since the last time you were flat on your back staring up at the ceiling…has it?

The crowd continues their raucous boos as LT stands in the aisle of Section 214, absolutely incensed with the Dad-Soldier.

Steve Solex: Look, we both know where this is going, LT. After March to Glory, you’re going to be marching your ass right back into the motherfuckin kitchen where your amazonian ass belongs, and you can march back into that kitchen staring at the ground in shame. After a hundred fucking years, someone is finally going to put you in your place. And these “Equal Rights” you continue to speak of…well, frankly LT…that shit don’t apply to you…not one fuckin’ bit. So while the three of you come out here, plant your sorry asses in Section 214…ahem, DD214, and play pass the pillow with the microphone and air your grievances…you should know that the Best Alliance is preparing, that the Dad-Soldier is preparing and that come March to…

Lindsay Troy: …come March to Glory, you steroid-chomping sexist jackwagon, I’m going to beat your ass not only all over Madison Square Garden, but all over Times Square and Midtown Manhattan. And that’s not all, shithead….I’m gonna have some help. Because I want to do this in a fans bring the weapons match.

The crowd erupts in cheers as Zeb and Teddy smile. Solex begins to pace the stage furiously while shouting inaudible – but surely explicit – remarks at the roaring crowd while pointing a finger.

Steve Solex: I know you bitches hate me! And that’s just perfect!

He turns and points up at Section 214.

Steve Solex:  You’re fuckin’ on, LT. This shit is going down, but when you’re injured and bloodied by the weapon that one of YOUR fans brings in…I want you to blame that shit on them, not me. I refuse any responsibility for your well-being at this point, LT. You’ve brought this shit on yourself!

Solex flips the trio in Section 214 the bird, which Troy returns right back, before he storms back through the curtain. The scene cuts to Joe and Benny at the commentators table for the next match.

We return ringside where Brian Hollywood and Darin Zion are already standing by in the ring with Meredith standing between the two of them, a microphone in her hand.

Meredith: Introducing first.. The man ailing from The Lakes of the Ozarks, Missouri. Tonight he weighs in at a lean, mean 223 pounds. He is the man known as the Pinnacle of Pro Wrestling, the Artiste of Atlantic City, the Messiah of Missouri Valley, your Tyrant of the Territories and your HEEEEEEERO OF HIGH OCTANE.. DAAAAAAAAAARIN ZION!

Darin steps forward with his hands held high in the air and is greeted with a mixed reaction fron the crowd.

Meredith: And his partner, ailing from Los Angeles, California. He weighs in at 225 pounds.. BRIAAAAAAAAN HOLLYWOOOOOOOOOD!

It is now Brian’s turn to step forward with his hand in the air while the fans also greet him with a mixed reaction. Both men and Meredith move to their corner as they await the arrival of their opponents, a steady, focused look on their faces.

“F*ucking in the Bushes” by Oasis pops up on the sound system as The Hollywood Bruvs make their way out onto the stage to a decent reaction from the fans. Mikey and Kendrix swagger to the ring exchanging words between each other while pointing at Hollywood and Zion.

Bryan McVay: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 448 pounds, Mikey Unlikely and Jesse Kendrix, THE HOOOOOOOOLLYWOOOOOD BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUVS!

Both men climb into the ring before moving to the turnbuckles striking a poses as the camera phones flicker across the audience despite the signs clearly stating NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, fucking HOW fans.

Bryan McVay exits the ring as Hortega signals for the bell.

DING DING DING!

Hollywood and Zion both approach the Hollywood Bruvs holding what looks to be frappachinos in their hands. Confused and uncertain, the Hollywood Bruvs seem to engage them in a heated conversation before the Hollywood Boys toss the drinks into their opponents’ faces! The crowd roars to life as both Kendrix and Mikey look stunned!

Joe Hoffman: The Hollywood Boys getting one over the Hollywood Bruvs in a questionable act..

Benny Newell: That’s probably the most entertaining thing I’ve seen Zion or Hollywood do in years! DRINK!

Hollywood spears Kendrix out of the ring as Zion goes for the quick roll up on Mikey!

UNO!

DOS!

Kickout!

Joe Hoffman: Zion trying to get a quick win here at the start with that interesting opening tactic but it wasn’t to be.

Benny Newell: Well no fucking shit, Hoffman, you have to use a Mocha Frap if you want to get a 3 Count, everybody knows that!

Joe Hoffman: Apparently not Benny.

Mikey manages to kick out, scrambling quickly to his feet though Zion is right after him. Backing him into the corner Zion lights him up with a series of rights and lefts before hurling Unlikely into the opposite turnbuckle. Stumbling out while holding his back Mikey catches a strong clothesline from Zion that sends him back down hard to the mat. Zion drops down for another quick pinning situation..

Joe Hoffman: Another pinfall attempt by Zion..

Benny Newell: Wait.. am I supposed to cheer the Hollywood Bruvs or the Boys?!

Joe Hoffman: Maybe enjoy both teams and the spirit of competition born from within?

Benny Newell:..you know I think that the.. Hollywood team is going to win. Yeah.. Yeah! DRINK!

Uno..

Kickout!

Mikey throws his shoulder up while his expression has gone from surprise to anger. Zion remains the aggressor laying some boots to the back of Mikey’s head before manages to fire off a flurry of offensive attacks starting with a snap suplex and ending with a vicious wheel kick! Zion tags in his partner as Hollywood picks up where his partner has left off.

Joe Hoffman: Zion making the first tag of his match as Hollywood jumps in to continue his partners work.

Benny Newell: Let’s Go Team Hollywood! WOO!

Joe Hoffman: Which team is Team Hollywood?

Benny Newell: The one with Hollywood in the name you idiot!

Working over Mikey’s shoulder and neck Hollywood can be clearly seen setting up his opponent for the Paper Cut however Mikey has it scouted, slipping past the attempt as he makes the hot tag to Kendrix who fires off into the ring like a bat out of hell. Furious over the attack from the frap at the start of the match Kendrix is eager to take it out on Hollywood who eats a knee a running knee to the jaw that staggers him back!

Joe Hoffman: Kendrix with the hot tag!

Benny Newell: I AM BOTH EXCITED AND TERRIFIED!

Zion jumps in for the assist however Kendrix is ready for him, dodging a wild haymaker..

CRACK!

Out of nowhere Mikey launches himself out of his corner and catches the unprepared Zion across the jaw with a lariat that sends men hurdling to the outside of the ring. Kendrix drags Hollywood up to his feet..

Joe Hoffman: THE BELLEND!

Kendrix rolls Hollywood up while grabbing a handful of the tights for good measure yanking way back.

UNO!

DOS!

TRES!!

DING DING DING!

WINNER: THE HOLLYWOOD BRUVS IN 13 MINUTES 24 SECONDS VIA PINFALL!

“Fucking in the Bushes” by Oasis queues up right on time as Kendrix shoves the limp Hollywood aside and poses in the center of the ring, some of the frap still visible in his beard. He is joined by Mikey Unlikely as the two celebrate their victory while Zion collects Hollywood.

Joe Hoffman: Zion and Hollywood took the early advantage but in a split second Kendrix put the shades on any hope of Victory. Mikey Unlikely managed to weather the storm with the Hollywood Bruvs picking up a huge victory here tonight!

Benny Newell: I was right! The Hollywood Team won! DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!

Action cuts elsewhere as we see Darin shaking his head in frustration by the effort put forth by Hollywood tonight..

HOTv cameras follow Sutler Reynolds-Kael back to his newly minted HR office after taking the long route back after his tough loss earlier in the night.  

He flips on the light and finds a most unpleasant surprise. 

Rah?

Benny Newell: RAHHHHHHHH!

And what has been already a bad night is about to get a whole lot worse.  

Joe Hoffman: Well, if you saw the segment earlier tonight, you knew something might be up.  

Indeed, there’s no sunshine in the Sunshine God tonight.  Before Kael can react, his office door slams shut and seconds later all hell breaks loose inside.

Benny Newell: That Sunny O’Callahan is spreading lies Hoffman.  I’ve never seen Rah with that expression before.  

The sound of a huge crash inside the office is heard.

Benny Newell: He can’t do that to HR!  There’s going to be consequences, Hoffman.  BIG consequences.

The camera pans to a side.  Waiting outside and approving of the carnage going on inside Sutler’s office- Sunny O’Callahan.  

Benny Newell: This is her doing!  She’s responsible for this!

Joe Hoffman: Indeed.  Sunny O’Callahan provoked the Sunshine God into this premediated attack. 

The camera zeros in on Rah’s official spokesperson.  She gives the camera a thumbs up as we hit our next commercial break.

Back live and we pivot to the HOFC octagon off the Best Arena floor just off the entrance ramp.

Joe Hoffman: Here we go Benny. The final semi final match of the DeNucci Cup as the World Champion Michael Lee Best takes on HOW newcomer Xander Azula. Both men are literally the same size as only one inch and 5lbs separate the two men.

Benny Newell: This is just a formality Joe. Michael Lee Best will be the World Champion. Michael Lee Best will the HOFC Champion. Michael Lee Best will be the Tag Team Champion by himself by the end of the 2021 and of course he will be the LSD Champion as well. So ya….spoilers assholes.

Joe Hoffman: Well before we get there Benny……tonight is about Xander Azula trying to shock the world and defeat Michael tonight.

Benny just rolls his eyes as we cut to the Octagon as Michael and Xander have both entered the cage.

Matt Boettcher, HOW senior referee, signals for the bell and the fight is underway.

Mike and Xander begin round one circling each other as its clear that Xander is trying to avoid the sudden knee from Mike as that’s been the downfall of a few folks already in the tournament. Sensing that Xander is being somewhat tentative, Mike feigns a strike with the knee and Xander flinches but is immediately caught with a right hand by the World Champion. Over the next several minutes Mike continues to work over the newcomer with all his suplexes.  The round ends with Mike hitting Xander with a perfect snap suplex. The crowd cheers madly as its clear that Mike is in complete control.

Joe Hoffman: It is clear that Xander got caught looking for the knee and that cost him for the next five minutes.

Benny Newell: Five minutes longer than it should have went.

Back in the cage Mike is seen smirking as Boettcher signals for the bell and round two begins. There is no hesitation by Xander as he sprints at Mike. The World Champion is caught completely off as Xander nails Mike with right hands.  Now it is Xander’s turn to showcase his suplex skills as he nails Mike with a couple vertical suplexes, followed by a few germans. Much like the first round, the second round ends with Xander nailing Mike Best with a snap suplex in the middle of the octagon.

Joe Hoffman: Well that is fitting. The second round ends with Xander on the offensive and nailing Mike with a snap suplex after coming out very assertive. This comes on the heels of the first round where he started tentatively and Mike ended the round with a snap suplex.

Benny Newell: Mike is just stalling so he gets more air time on HOTv. Its clear that his quick victories have him yearning for some air time.

Back in the octagon the third round starts as Xander once again storms at Mike. But this time Mike is ready for Xander and is literally smirking as he meets Xander halfway thru his sprint with a jumping knee to the temple.

Joe Hoffman: I KNEED A HERO!!!!!!

Xander goes limp as Mike screams out in excitement as he looks down at Xander who is knocked out.

Matt Boettcher counts to ten and the fight is over.

Bryan McVay: WINNER OF THE FIGHT VIA KNOCKOUT….MICHAEEEEL LEEEEEEE BESSSTTTTTT!!!!

Mike forces Matt to raise his arm in victory as we cut away as the Chicago crowd cheers madly for the win and the now official HOFC Championship match of Dan Ryan taking on Mike at March to Glory.

The scene opens with a starry sky, the glow of a small fire slowly comes into view as the camera pans down and reveals a hulking figure hunched over the small fire. The camera slowly zooms in on the behemoth’s face, his front pinched cowboy hat masking some of his features. His long dirty blonde hair moves slowly with the breeze. As the camera zooms in it becomes clear the figure is Clay Byrd.

Byrd: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen y’all.

Clay pushes his long hair out of his face with one of his colossal hands.

Byrd: Lee Best would like me ta make a decision ‘bout my future this evenin’. I reckon it’s in the best interests of High Octane Wrasslin’ if a feller like myself decided ta stick ‘round. ‘Specially after makin’ one a them Hall of Fame fellers look like a steamin’ pile of shit in the octagon, and takin’ his son ta the absolute limit.

Clay pauses for a moment, before reaching out and pulling the camera in closer.

Byrd: Ya see, the decision is a lil more complicated than I think Mr. Best realizes. In my brief association with High Octane it’s apparent that on the inside of the organization, within its midsts lurks an infection of entitlement.

The lighting shifts for a moment as the wind changes direction.

Byrd: Now, with myself bein’ a man of principles, the kind of feller who lives by a code, I’d be forced ta fight this battle. The battle fer the soul of High Octane Wrasslin. I’d be the penicillin, takin’ on the infection. But before I agree ta it. Before I sign my name on the dotted line, I have one very crucial, one very important question fer all of ya.

After running his hand through his beard Clay continues after the slight pause.

Byrd: Are ya’ll even worth savin’?

Clay waits for a moment, this time pushing the mustache portion of his beard out of his mouth.

Byrd: Be honest with yourselves, stop being delusional, stop the hero worship. This crowd booed an actual combat sports superstar fer beatin’ the brakes off of Hudson Hughes, why? Because I punished John Sektor’s stupidity? Because I dared ta not be relegated ta a first round punchin’ bag? Because I dared ta challenge the status quo, ta change the expectations?

Clay reflects on the questions for a moment before continuing once again.

Byrd: Now tell me High Octane Faithful, are ya’ll REALLY worth fuckin’ savin? Are ya’ll worth the pain? The blood? The sacrifice? Are ya’ll worth MY sacrifice?

Clay snarls at the end of the last query. His lip curling, and the veins in his neck popping a bit.

Byrd: I don’t know the answer yet, so I’ll wait, and ya’ll will wait along with me until I’m ready with my answer.

The scene fades with the camera fading out and away from the features of the gigantic Texan’s face back to the Best Arena.

“Flying Battery Zone Act One” from Sonic Mania begins and “The Vintage” Conor Fuse marches down, wearing purple Adidas track pants and a light purple “FUSE IS LIT” HOW-branded t-shirt on. He carries a large tanned coloured sack, filled to the brim with… something inside it.

Benny Newell: Fuck off.

Joe Hoffman: Conor’s carrying that same bag he had during our interview two weeks ago. I’m sure we’ll find out what’s inside, tonight!

Benny Newell: That’s what you’re excited for? Honestly, this is what constitutes as High Octane programming now?

Fuse rolls the sack into the ring, leaps onto the apron and clears the ropes in one jump, as well. Meanwhile, the March to Glory match graphic interrupts the entrance showing… High Flyer vs. Conor Fuse, live in MSG, March 13th!

Joe Hoffman: In just a few weeks time, it’ll be Conor Fuse going up against High Flyer IN NEW YORK CITY! This situation escalated, I almost want to say OUT OF NOWHERE when High Flyer cost Conor Fuse his second round Cup match vs. Mike Best!

Benny Newell: Cost? COST!? Seriously, Joe, Mike was winning that thing regardless.

Joe Hoffman: And you know that, how?

Benny Newell: Mike beats evvvveryone! Particularly dumb-ass, virgin wannabe fucks like this punk kid. Fuse gets bullied by Mike-lites online every day!

The Purple One’s theme comes to a close and he stands in the center of the ring. The fans within the Best Arena are slowly getting behind him but Conor’s in no mood to allow the chants to continue.

Conor Fuse: Okay, let’s warp whistle to the last part of the game, shall we? High Flyer, thank you for costing me a shot at trying to prove to High Octane I’m not just some dumbass virgin living in my mom’s basement…

Conor stops and looks into the camera lens on the apron with a slight wink.

Conor Fuse: I had hopes we could one day co-op together. We’re both in need of a friend here, let’s be honest. I could see the headlines now…

Conor holds up his right hand as he talks through them.

Conor Fuse: “Kid Reboots Legend”… “Hero Brings Out The Best in Super Fan”… “Flyer/Conor Defeat Losers Jatt Moto and Mortal Kombat Sektor in Two Minutes”… “The Co-Op That Can’t Be Stopped”!

Fuse paces around the ring, growing a sense of frustration.

Conor Fuse: I even had names for us… RAD: Retro Awesome Dudes. If you didn’t like that, how about NES: Never Enemies Squad! Or… Have-At The Entertainment- wait, I think those initials are already taken. ANYWAY… Mr. Jack Harmen, you are the reason I got into this system and you’re now the reason…

Fuse looks down at his bag.

Conor Fuse: …I’m going to take you out of it. Your Game Over- excuse me, your NO CONTINUES GAME OVER happens at March to Glory. Fine, be on your own. Go do your thing. Believe in yourself! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU TRUST YOUR HEART- YADDA YADDA YADDA EH MIKEY UNLIKELY!

Another Fuse wink into the camera, although the anger is growing.

Conor Fuse: But I am DEMANDING to know why you did what you did High Flyer and I have THIS to show you, too…

Conor holds up the large oversized Christmas-looking sack.

“Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne blasts out over the PA system as a fog of smoke rises. High Flyer emerges, parting the smoke, dressed ready to fight. He wears his ring attire and his official HOW t-shirt, which is just a black shirt with a little HOW lapel on the bottom hem. Flyer looks up at Conor with a large everlasting smirk, before he stomps his way to the ring.

Benny Newell: Here. I bet if we replayed the attack on Conor, we can pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks.

Joe Hoffman: We’re not replaying the footage.

Benny Newell: Why not? It was the funniest thing Flyer’s done in a year!

Flyer calmly walks up the outside steps, onto the apron and takes a moment to look over Fuse. Just as Flyer slips in through the middle ropes, Fuse flips Flyer a microphone from across the ring. It thuds in Flyer’s chest, as Conor paces.

Conor Fuse: So why’d you do it? What did I ever do to you?

Flyer smiles. He raises the mic.

High Flyer: Nothing. Really. Honestly. I mean, you have stolen your entire identity from me and I don’t even get a residual. But you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Listen, I thought you were an interviewer for three weeks until I found out you were about to face Mike Best. And then, I see the tape, see your skill and I think to myself… this Conor Fuse. He’s me… And he could actually do it. He could beat Mike Best… and YOU don’t beat Mike Best… I do-wait, you aren’t even listening, are you?

The attention flips back to The Vintage.

Conor Fuse: Yeah… that’s nice. Wonderful story you have there. I said all I had to say before you came out. Maybe you were listening in the back and maybe you weren’t, dude. I really don’t care. As the calendar year turned 2021 I was bracing myself for the DeNucci Cup. I had my power-ups all ready to go. I had my silver paint… and I had my mushrooms, bunny ears and fire flowers, too. But that was the kicker. Those power-ups weren’t for the Cup. That was my other plan.

Conor walks in front of Jack Harmen’s face.

Conor Fuse: Those were going to be for us. Teddy Palmer and Zeb Martin? That should have been YOU and I. I wanted to help you and I wanted to help YOU help ME. We should have been standing together against The Best Alliance… The Hollywood Boys, Bruvs, BOTS… WHATEVER THE HELL THEY’RE CALLED. Dude, you were gonna be my co-op. Teaming with my HERO, The Lunatic Jack Harmen… HIGH FLYER. Well…

Conor shoves Harmen.

Conor Fuse: Not anymore.

High Flyer: Listen, I came out here, I gave you your explanation, in front of THOUSANDS, just like you’ve always dreamed. You’re in the ring with your idol. ME. Shamefully, it’s just the last time this doesn’t end bloody.

Conor Fuse: Awh. But I still have one last power-up to show you.

Flyer squints, confused. The Vintage walks over to his sack. He looks to reach inside when suddenly…

CRACK.

Joe Hoffman: Conor just hurled the sack over his head and crushed High Flyer with it!

Fuse lifts Flyer to his knees and starts pumping up the crowd, taking a moment to tilt his head back and scream.

Conor Fuse: WEAPON GET!

Benny Newell: What the fuck is this nimrod doing?

Joe Hoffman: I’ve heard of this. He’s going to take High Flyer’s finisher and use it against him!

Conor smacks Flyer across the chest with a loud chop and “downloads” his finisher. Fuse rushes the ropes as Flyer gets to his feet…

WHACK.

The Yakuza Kick connects!

Benny Newell: Weapon Get!? This fucking guy needs a grammar lession!

Joe Hoffman: I believe it’s Mega Man X terminology, Conor told me earlier. When Mega Man gets the powers of his enemies-

Benny Newell: You know what, just stop, seriously. You’re becoming a virgin again just by talking.

Fuse finally digs into his bag of tricks… literally. Mic in hand, he clarifies to the crowd what’s inside when he pulls out one VHS tape.

Conor Fuse: My ULTIMATE power-ups. HIGH FLYER TAPES. You know how much tape trading I had to do over the years to get my hands on this shit!? Because YOU WERE MY HERO.

Fuse looks at the label of the tape in his hand.

Conor Fuse: HIGH FLYER VS. JOEY MALONE, ACTION! WRESTLING circa 2003.

As Harmen is struggling to get to his feet, Fuse races over and busts the tape over Flyer’s head! The plastic shatters everywhere and the film wraps around The Lunatic’s head. Fuse goes back into his tape sack and pulls out another one. He reads the label…

Conor Fuse: 2002 CAREER vs. TITLE MATCH… well that didn’t work out did it? High Flyer LOSES against Simon Seaman!

CRACK, over Flyer’s head.

Conor Fuse: Super rare Iron Man Match where you pretended to be a tiger named Tigro from 1999! I TRADED MY PORN COLLECTION FOR THIS.

CRACK.

Conor Fuse: It was JENNA Jameson porn! Big Boss would’ve LOVED THAT!

Conor takes out two tapes.

Conor Fuse: The last time you were RELEVANT, 2009 fWo, Countdown nights 2 & 3… you weren’t even wrestling, you were the REFEREE! I don’t even want this one.

BELL CLAP CRACK.

Another tape.

Conor Fuse: Jack Harmen vs. Elise Ares, hair vs. career. Sure, I could’ve used a DVR BUT I WANTED TO KEEP MY COLLECTION GOING YOU GOOMBA!

CRACK.

Conor looks down at the bag. There’s still sooooo many tapes inside.

Conor Fuse: Oh. Look at that. Those were all matches you lost. Ha. I think all of these are… screw it.

He picks up the bag, bursts into the ropes and leaps across, crushing the entire sack of tapes across High Flyer’s already busted open skull!

Benny Newell: Gamer’s gone crazy!

VINTAGE!
VINTAGE!
VINTAGE!

With Flyer at the soles of Fuse’s feet, Conor looks down at all the broken tapes and memories. The Vintage gives his head a shake.

Conor Fuse: See you in Madison Square Garden… wait, what am I saying? We’ve still got next week.

A sadistic grin crosses Conor’s face as he exits the ring but not before crushing an undamaged tape underneath his left boot.

Conor Fuse: [shouting into the crowd] I NEED A NEW IDOL! SOMEONE, SOMEONE, FIND THIS GAMER A PLAYER RIGHT NOW!!

The action fades out to a commercial break as Conor continues to play to the crowd…

The show picks back up at ringside with High Octane’s Hall of Fame announce team.

Joe Hoffman: Up next, StarrSek Industries puts their High Octane Tag Team Championships on the line against the unlikely duo of Zeb Martin and Teddy Palmer. Zeb of course earned this opportunity by defeating John Sektor a few shows back, and in doing so was given pick of the litter in regard to who his partner would be. Zeb picked Ted, and now we are here. What do you make of it all, Benny?

Benny Newell: I still don’t know who this kid thinks he is that he could go out there and waste the Best Alliance’s time like that.

Joe Hoffman: Former Bandit.

Benny Newell: That explains it.

The opening instrumentals of “The Boys of Summer” by Don Henley begin to dance through speakers. Once the instrumentals are joined by vocals, Zeb Martin and Teddy Palmer make their way through the curtain. They are almost immediately met with a positive outburst from the Chicago crowd.

Joe Hoffman: It looks like this odd couple of Zeb and Ted have won over the hearts of the High Octane universe. This isn’t a dream. They’re making them go crazy. They’re making them scream…

Benny Newell: Oh shut the fuck up, Joe.

Joe Hoffman: What?

Benny Newell: Boys of Summer? Really?

Joe Hoffman: It’s a classic. Lighten up, the crowd is loving it.

Benny Newell: Are they really?

Teddy and Zeb rip off their sunglasses in unison, tossing them into opposite sides of the audience. Zeb is mean mugging, which is a side we haven’t seen much of from The Watson Mill Kid. Teddy on the other hand seems to be adjusting to Zeb’s song selection, trying his best to vibe with it. Shrugging it off, he slaps Zeb on the back and the two men bump fists before making their trek down the ramp.

Joe Hoffman: Music aside, Zeb Martin earned this opportunity with a huge win over Hall of Famer, John Sektor.

Benny Newell: It was a fluke win. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. It’d have been a much different outcome if Sutler and Chloe weren’t at ringside.

Joe Hoffman: I wouldn’t be so certain. Zeb has shown flashes before and has all the potential in the world. And you can’t overlook his choice of Teddy as his partner. He’s our most recent LBI Winner, and he’s coming off an impressive showing in the DeNucci Cup.

Benny Newell: Who cares! Don’t talk to me about potential versus a sure thing. And that bum Teddy did nothing with his LBI win and who gives a fuck how far he made it in the DeNucci Cup. Did he win? NOPE!

Joe Hoffman: Still…

Benny Newell: Still nothing! Upsetting that Hall of Famer has, well, upset two Hall of Famers. Not a smart move. Sektor and Starr are going to show these two exactly why they are the Tag

Team Champions, and more importantly why Zeb and Ted are not.

Teddy and Zeb roll into the ring, each choosing to man opposite corners. Standing on the second rope, they look out into the crowd, heads nodding along to their beat. After a few moments of embracing the crowd’s energy, they meet back in the middle of the ring. The words they exchange are inaudible to the crowd and viewing audience, but upon finishing Teddy pushes Zeb in a pump him up kind of way and they slap hands. They turn to face the ramp way, bouncing back and forth with excitement, awaiting the arrival of the Champions, ready to pounce on their opportunity to call themselves Champions at the nights end.

Joe Hoffman: To think, these guys met in the first round of the DeNucci cup and now they are on the same team, vying for the Tag Team Championships.

Benny Newell: DRINK!

“HEEEEEEERE WE ARE! BORN TO BE KINGS! WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!”

“Princes of the Universe” blares across the arena. Pyro rains from the ramp in gold and white. The crowd erupts into a mix of cheers and jeers. Emerging from the curtain is the dominant tandem of “StarrSek Industries”. Sektor carries the HOW Tag Team Championship over shoulder. Jatt Starr has the LSD Championship over his left shoulder, the HOW Tag Team Championship over his right. Ahead of them, clearing the way is “StarrSek Industries” sole employee, Hugo Scorpio. The ramp illuminates with spotlights from above. They begin their confident gait down the ring.

Halfway down the ramp, Jatt Starr pulls out a Sharpie and signs his name on the forehead of a punk rock looking woman with a green mohawk and more piercings than a Tommy Lee lookalike contest. She looks ecstatic (or on something). The Ruler of Jattlantis chucks the red marker into the audience. Sektor looks over and shakes head, urging his partner to move it along.

They proceed down the ramp and they follow Hugo up the ring steps. Hugo pulls open the middle and top ropes allowing the tag team champions to enter. Sektor hoists the HOW Tag Team Championship in the air, eyeing Zeb Martin in the process. Meanwhile, Jatt Starr drops to his knees and raises both his titles in the air, looking up to the ceiling, no doubt showing his appreciation for the HOW gods.

Sektor begins jawing at Zeb Martin, seeing this, Jatt Starr begins mocking Teddy Palmer and begins inexplicably showing off some dance moves…the Macarena to be exact….as if to impress or show off (or threaten?) Teddy Palmer…..followed by jazz hands.

The music fades and Jatt hands his LSD Championship to Hugo who promptly exits the ring as the Gold Standard and Jattinum Standard back into their corner. With all the combatants present and accounted for it’s off to Brian McVay.

Brian McVay: Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for tonight’s MAIN EVENT! The following contest will be for the High Octane, Tag Team Championships!!!!!

The crowd erupts.

Brian McVay: Introducing first, the challengers. At a total combined weight of 493 pounds, hailing from Comer, Georgia and Toronto, Ontario… Zeb Martin and Teddy Palmer!!!!

Zeb and Ted bump fists while riling up the already boisterous crowd.

Brian McVay: And their opponents… At a total combined weight of 470 pounds, from Harve, Montana and Miami, Florida, representing the Best Alliance, they are the reigning High Octane Tag Team Champions! Jatt Starr and John Sektor!!!!!

The Champs hold their belts high in the air to thunderous approval before passing them off to Joel Hortega, so he can do the same thing again. Hortega then hands the gold to McVay, who scurries out of the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Here we go! Tag Titles on the line. Winners go to Madison Square Garden to defend against the Bruvs at March To Glory!

Joel Hortega corrals the champions and the challengers into their respective corners and then calls for the bell.

DING!

Teddy and Jatt take a back seat, allowing Sektor and Zeb to start the proceedings.

Joe Hoffman: No love loss here.

Sektor starts things off by getting a little chirpy with Martin while the two are making their way towards the center of the ring. Nose to nose, with his index finger flexed, he jabs the Fisher King in the chest as if to say things are going to be different this time around. Zeb nonchalantly brushes off the spot on his chest where he was poked, then smacks Sektor clean across the face with an open palm.

Benny Newell: The insolence!

Joe Hoffman: What did the five fingers say to the face, Benny?

Benny Newell: Fuck you.

Enraged, Sektor immodestly thumbs Zeb in the eye, jab kicks him to the gut, and then hammers him across the back with a double axe handle. Zeb crashes down onto the mat, and tries to roll towards his corner to make a quick tag. The Gold Standard has other plans though; he grabs the Watson Mill Kid by the laces of his boots and drags him back towards the Best Alliance.

Joe Hoffman: Zeb in a little bit of early trouble.

Benny Newell: Of course he is. You don’t fuck with the Best Alliance. EVER. I don’t care how green you are. The day you are born you know better. If you don’t, your parents have failed you.

With the ring cut in half, Sektor twists on Zeb’s ankle and stomps a few times at the back of the upstart’s knees to keep him from going anywhere. Then, he rigidly pulls his opponent up, lands a couple of well placed rights and lefts, and whips him hard, chest first into the Best Alliance corner.

Jatt immediately reaches over the top rope to grab a hold of Zeb’s arms. He then shuffles his feet so he’s straddling the ring post, leans back pulling Martin snug into the corner, stares into his eyes, and let’s go right as Sektor charges in with a ferocious clothesline to the back of the Catfish King’s neck.

Benny Newell: What teamwork! Bring on the Bruvs!

Proud, Jatt takes the ring steps up and tags in. He rakes Zeb’s back, which forces Martin to spin around in the corner. Now face to face, Starr lands a dizzying array of punches, kicks, slaps, and signature nipple twists. Finally, after Zeb slouches down against the corner turnbuckles clutching at his nipples in horrific pain, the LSD Champion doles out a stiff, short, knee to the face.

Starr drops down for a lazy cover.

Uno.

Dos.

Foot on the rope.

Unbothered by the outcome, Jatt shuffles back to his feet. Instead of continuing the attack though, he takes a short gander at his downed foe before deciding he’d rather entertain the audience.

Benny Newell: What a showman!

Of course, while Starr is doing the Running Man, he manages to bait Teddy into the ring. He continues to further antagonize Palmer by dancing behind Joel Hortega, who is jockeying with Ted to get him back to his corner. As such, Sektor sneaks into the ring, presses his boot down against Zeb’s throat, and pulls back on the top rope for added leverage.

Benny Newell: Whoever put a cigarette on Zeb’s throat owes him an apology.

Distraction in full bloom, Jatt joins his partner on the offensive. He pounces on Zeb, and tries to claw the eyeballs out of the Georgia native’s skull. Frustrated, Teddy concedes and steps back between the ropes. The LSD Champion notices, hastily exits the ring, claps his hands as if to signal a tag was made, and then once again plays to the audience.

Joe Hoffman: Champs are hitting on all cylinders so far, and Zeb Martin is being absolutely punished because of it.

Benny Newell: HA! Now that’s HOW it’s done! Somebody go start my car. This one is all but over!

Hortega swoops in, threatens Sektor to release the illegal choke, and reaches the count of four before the Gold Standard angrily obliges.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor better watch out if he doesn’t want to get disqualified.

Benny Newell: Go blow on a dog whistle, Joe. Really.

Zeb gasps for air, and struggles to see. He’s not in good shape, and it’s about to get worse for him. Sektor scoops him up, and then promptly folds him in half with a German suplex.

The Hall of Famer sticks the landing.

Uno.

Dos.

Zeb barely kicks out.

John takes his time getting back up to the standing position. He teasingly begins kicking at the back of Zeb’s head to see if there is anything left in him. Having had enough, he pulls Martin back to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and attempts to cave in his face with a spinning elbow. The Watson Mill Kid shows enough wherewithal to duck the attack, however, as he is rebounding Jatt Starr pulls down on the top rope causing the former Bandit upstart to tumble to the outside of the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Tough break for Zeb there.

Benny Newell: Look Joe! Honest mistake! The Double Champ was cramping up. See.

Pleading his case to Hortega, Jatt grabs at the area on his hand between his thumb and index finger as if it were cramping up.

Joe Hoffman: Somebody needs to check on Zeb. It looked like he landed awkwardly out there.

Benny Newell: Screw Zeb! Jatt’s hand could be injured.

Concerned, Teddy hops down from off the apron and makes his way over to his partner. Jatt, suddenly free of hand cramps, also hops down from the apron and cuts him off from doing so. Before the two can engage, Hortega slides out of the ring and gets in between them before he loses control of the match.

Benny Newell: Do your job. Get him back to his corner!

Joel Hortega, with Hugo’s friendly guidance, begins ushering a stifled Ted back to his corner; allowing Jatt another opportunistic opportunity to do some damage. Zeb starts to stir, using the guardrail for assistance. Starr charges in for the kill, but Martin moves out of the way at the last second, as does the fan sitting ringside behind him, and the LSD Champion goes headfirst over the guardrail into the second row!

Benny Newell: That fan should be barred from attending High Octane events for life! How dare he move out of the way and allow that to happen to our beloved Double Champion!

Joe Hoffman: It’s a kid.

Benny Newell: No, I’m talking about the fan!

Joe Hoffman: So am I.

Benny Newell: Ten years then. Wouldn’t want to miss out on that potential revenue.

Quick replay shows Starr going over the guardrail and catching the wrong part of a fan’s chair on the inadvertent face first folly. As such, when he stumbles back to his feet, he is clutching at his now bloody nose. Sektor see’s this, slides out of the ring, and runs over to help his Alliance mate. However, Zeb back body drops him over the guardrail and onto Jatt instead!

Joe Hoffman: This is it! Zeb’s got to get in the ring and make a tag!

Hortega is back indide the ring and starts to count.

Uno…

Dos…

Exhausted, Martin falls to his knees, but somehow starts to crawl his way back towards the ring. Palmer is screaming for his partner, and slapping the turnbuckle in a mad fit to finally get involved in the match.

Tres…

Benny Newell: I’m still not over that fan! Why is he still here and allowed to watch this? Where is HR when you need them?

Cuatro…

Zeb reaches up, grabs the low ring rope, and uses it to pull himself upright. As this is happening, Sektor has gotten off of his partner, and is slowly making his way back to the outside of the ring.

Cinco…

Martin rolls under the bottom rope, and starts a slow, tedious, dramatic inch worm towards a frothing Teddy Palmer.

Seis…

Joe Hoffman: Can he get there??!?!?!?

Benny Newell: Who? Sektor. I hope so.

Siet—

Sektor breaks the count by reentering the ring and starts stalking down Martin. Jatt is back in the Alliance corner, but standing down on the outside as Hugo looks at his nose. Palmer is stretching across the top rope as far as he can possibly go without leaving the corner. Zeb’s arm is out, and he’s inches away from making the tag.

The crowd is on their feet in an absolutely hot frenzy.

Sektor, with one hand still selling the back bump, reaches out with the other to grab Martin…

…TAG.

Palmer slingshots over the top rope and in one fluid motion drills the Gold Standard with a drop kick to the chest. The impact sends the Hall of Famer flying backwards and onto his back. Zeb rolls out under the bottom rope and finally gets a moment to recover.

Joe Hoffman: That was pretty slick by Ted.

Benny Newell: I bet he calls it the surfboard kick. Or something else that would also be just as stupid.

Jatt rolls in the ring; nose no longer hemorrhaging after Hugo stuffed it with cotton swabs. He goes to intercept, but Ted instead leapfrogs over him, spins Starr around, and destroys him with a well placed European uppercut.

Joe Hoffman: There go the cotton swabs!

Sektor is back up, but Teddy is already there and waiting on him. The Canadian slides in behind and delivers a German suplex of his own. Not wasting a moment’s notice, Palmer quickly pops back to feet, grabs the still wobbling, Europeanly dazed Jatt, and escorts him over the top rope and back to the outside.

Benny Newell: Please tell me Jatt is the legal man and Teddy is as stupid as he looks.

Joe Hoffman: He’s not! Champs are in trouble for the first time tonight!

Teddy turns his attention back to John and gives him a few stomps before wrenching in a side headlock. He walks him all the way back over to the corner, and Zeb tags back in. Upon entering the ring he immediately chop-blocks Sektor in the back of the knee.

Joe Hoffman: Zeb getting his hands dirty.

Benny Newell: Yeah, sure Joe, You love to see it. Blah, blah.

Sektor collapses to the ground, and rolls around on the mat in agony while grabbing at his right leg. Zeb measures him up and drives an elbow into his lower back. He follows it up with another for good measure. Then, he pulls John upright by his hair, and quickly sends him back into Team Zeddy’s corner.

Joe Hoffman: Sektor looks helpless right now!

Benny Newell: Get up Jatt!

Zeb follows closely behind driving a shoulder into Sektor’s gut. Teddy quickly tags himself back in. Together, both he and Zeb deliver a double team snap suplex!

Benny Newell: Where is Solex!?!?!

Not done, both Ted and Zeb pick Sektor up, whip him into the ropes, and double clothesline the Hall of Famer so stiffly it turns him inside out.

Benny Newell: This can’t be happening! Get him out of there, Hortega! That should be a disqualification!

Zeb darts to his corner.

Teddy slides into position to make a cover.

Uno.

Dos.

Tre—

Teddy is a little too close to the ropes, and Jatt is fortunate enough to be on that near side. He reaches out, grabs Ted by the foot, and pulls him off the pin attempt at the last possible moment.

Benny Newell: OH THANK GOD!

Jatt turns his back to the action to pose for a job well done. Hugo tries to get his attention but it’s too late. Teddy quickly tags in Zeb, and points at Sektor as if to tell Martin to finish the job. Palmer then bounces off the ropes, hops over Sektor’s prone body, and dives between the middle and top ropes to take out Jatt and Hugo!

CRACK!

Joe Hoffman: OH NO! Terminal Cancer! Where did Jiles even come from!?!?!? THAT BASTARD! He picked Teddy off in midair, Benny! And Hortega who has been on top of this match from the jump missed it!

Quick replay shows Jiles stealthily riding a surfboard down the entrance ramp, and then using the forward momentum to crow hop into his superkick.

Benny Newell: I know I’m not supposed to be feeling this way, but OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING.

Zeb is standing idle in the ring, shit shocked white as he watches Jiles swaggering his way back up the ramp to a deafening chorus of boo’s.

Joe Hoffman: Zeb better snap out of it!

The raucous ovation roueses Sektor, who gets back to his feet and is a little confused as to what the fuck just happened. He looks over at Teddy who is still laying motionless on the outside of the ring. He shrugs. He looks at Jatt and Hugo who have their arms up acting like they had nothing to do with it. He shrugs again. Then he looks at poor Zeb, who has his back turned to him. He shrugs once more, shakes the cobwebs, taps him on the shoulder, and delivers him onto the mat with a C-Sektion!

Joe Hoffman: We know what’s next!

Benny Newell: Stretch him good!

Sektor doesn’t wait, nor gloat. He quickly locks Zeb in the Sektor Stretch, causing Martin to scream out for his partner while suffering intense pain. Teddy doesn’t come to the rescue, and moments later, after putting up a valiant effort, Martin taps and Hortega calls for the bell.

Ding.

Winner: AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS via submission in 19 minutes and 58 seconds, John Sektor and Jatt Starr of the Best Alliance.

Joe Hoffman: What a battle! And what a jerkoff Cancer Jiles is. Regardless, The Best Alliance gets it done and now they have a date with the Bruvs at March To Glory. Props to Ted and Zeb for putting up a damn good fight. I hope they stick together after this.

Benny Newell: YES! Never in doubt! And fuck those guys!

Joe Hoffman: That’s all the time we have for Refueled 54. We’ll see you back here next week as the road to March To Glory continues with the final Refueled before High Octane takes over Madison Square Garden! GOOD NIGHT!

The show comes to an end with StarrSek Industries celebrating with their championships inside the ring.