Event Date: January 18, 2020
We open with a couple camera panning around what seems to be a near sold out Allstate Arena as we cut to a shot of the stage as pyros explode while the classic “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns and Roses plays before we cut back to the roaring crowd full of signs, trying to get their three seconds of fame on HOW’s biggest night of the year.
2020… YEAR OF THE EMPIRE
LONG LIVE MECA-KAEL
SAVE US DAN RYAN
TEACH ME STEVENS
ALL HAIL PRESIDENT WOODSON
FINISH HIM HIGH FLYER!
Cutting down to ringside, Joe and Benny are dressed up a bit more fancy than normal as even Benny has what seems to be a fancy crystal rocks glass with the HOW logo on it for his Gentlemen Jack that he has upgraded too.
Joe Hoffman: Ladies and gentlemen… welcome to ICONIC!!!
Benny Newell: DRINK for ICONIC!!!!
Joe Hoffman: It may be 2020 already, but tonight marks the end of a rollercoaster 2019 for HOW. From the long anticipated return of HOW after a near three year hiatus… to a World Title tournament that sparked many surprises… including the naming of Halitosis as the first HOW World Champion of this final era. To possible Russian or North Korean hackings that nearly killed HOW.
Benny Newell: Fucking Poutine…
Joe Hoffmna: But HOW has rallied back and after a strong Rumble at the Rock we now go to close out year one of the HOW return with our biggest show… ICONIC! Where in the main event we have possibly the longest Iron Man match ever in wrestling history when Cecilworth Farthington defends his World Title against Dan Ryan. 97 minutes folks will be the time frame and whoever can score the most falls before time runs out will leave ICONIC with that #97Red belt.
Benny Newell: It’s gonna be all eMpire tonight Joe. I got my money booked on it all, 3-0, lock it in now!
Joe Hoffman: In their efforts to do that, Max Kael will have to defend his LSD TItle against a man that nearly killed him as Refueled went off the air two weeks ago. High Flyer will almost pried the title out of Max Kael’s… hot… dead hands… but the leader of North Kaelrea somehow survived being thrown off the arena roof and into a dumpster fire.
Benny Newell: Because Max Kael is not a man Joe… you can kill a man… you can’t kill whatever Max Kael is.
Joe Hoffman: But before those two big match ups we will see the first eMpire versus Industry match as two icons in Mike Best and Lindsay Troy do battle for the right to name their LBI group.
Benny Newell: It’s a great prize… but with how Lee has been promoting this tournament… every group will be the group of death this year.
Joe Hoffman: This could be true Benny… we won’t know the full entry list until after ICONIC here… but I’m sure Lee and Woodson has some aces up their sleeves for HOW heading into year two of the re… relaunch.
Benny Newell: Does it really matter though? It’ll be an all eMpire final anyways.
Joe Hoffman: Maybe… but tonight is not all about the eMpire and Industry… ler’s not forget we have Scott Stevens taking on Steve Solex… a match that has been years and different feds in the making.
Benny Newell: No.. let’s please forget about this match.
Joe Hoffman: Plus HOW Hall of Famer and pure monster Chris Kostoff takes on the beast of a man Austin Reeves…
Benny Newell: Its the match of the zombies Joe! Resident Evil… Walking Dead… it’s all coming true tonight!
Joe Hoffman: Plus in our opening match we have…
Gunter glieben glauten globen
Boos start to flood the Allstate Arena as “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” by The Offspring plays over the speakers and Scott Woodson makes his way out to the ring, accompanied by his son Frankie. Dressed in a blue dress shirt, a #97Red tie and black slacks… his dreads are pulled back by his tie-dyed bandana.
Joe Hoffman: And we will start off ICONIC with the COO himself, the new 49% Owner of HOW… Scott Woodson.
Benny Newell: That is Future President of The United States!
Joe Hoffman: Ugh… this match is going to go like this… isn’t it.
Benny Newell: The timeline Joe!
Scott Woodson: Tonight it all starts folks… Brenton Cross is going to set me on my path to total world destruction! To World War Three! To destroying Meca-Kael! You wanted this match Brenton… and now it is time to start regretting it. HE might be dead… but me Brenton… I’m just as dangerous. I don’t need barbed wire and a hockey stick tonight to ruin your timeline… and start my new one.
Walking up the steel steps and into the ring, Woodson soaks in the boos with a smile as he just shakes his head at the Chicago crowd.
Joe Hoffman: Grand visions in the head of Scott Woodson tonight… certainly helped by the tale Brenton Cross weaved on the last Refueled.
Benny Newell: Tales? This is the future Joe and the future is Woodson!
Smoke appears at the entrance as “COCHISE” by Audioslave hits the arena. Brenton Cross walks through the smoke, his eyes fixed on the ring and Woodson. Acknowledging nobody, he walks, focused down to the ring. He slides in, standing center ring as Woodson walks up right to him. Cross doesn’t back down as Boettcher gets between the two men and orders them to their corners.
Bryan McVay: The following opening match to ICONIC is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Dallas, Texas in the year 2042… weighing in at 230 pounds… Brenton Cross!!!!
Not partaking in the fanfare of ICONIC, Cross stares at Woodson, focused on his mission at hand.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, he is the COO of High Octane Wrestling… accompanied by Franklin Woodson, from New York City and weighing in at 260 pounds… Scott Woodson!!!!
Scott Woodson: Thank you Brenton… thank you for showing me how the future WILL be. Total destruction… total anarchy… a world that god has turned its back on while evil thrives. All for the only thing that matters… the LSD Title.
Matt Boettcher calls for the bell as Cross doesn’t let Woodson’s words get to him as he goes to lock up with Woodson but suddenly he stops. He stops and takes a step back as he places his right hand up to his nose. He holds it for a second before removing it as the crimson color of his blood has stained his hand.
Joe Hoffman: Does Cross have… a nose bleed?
Benny Newell: The timeline is breaking! The reign of Woodson has begun!
Joe Hoffman: Oh stop it with that time travel bull…
Cross is a bit confused… but Woodson doesn’t give him much time to think as he drives the point of his dress shoe into gut of Cross. Quickly he picks him up onto his shoulders for a fireman’s carry. Cross’ dog tags fall from around his neck as asWoodson quickly swings Cross around and connects with a DDT straight onto the dog tags.
Joe Hoffman: Game Misconduct!
One of the tags must have been on edge, as Cross his now bleeding from his forehead, along with his nose as his body then goes into a violent shake… a seizure possibly as Joe goes to call for the bell again but Woodson yells at Boettcher as he grabs Cross and pulls his shaking body to his feet and proceeds again with a fireman’s carry and another Game Misconduct.
Joe Hoffman: Come on! Cross needs medical attention and Woodson is taking advantage of a man that is clearly defenseless!
Benny Newell: You’re no doctor Joe… maybe Cross was trying to retreat back to 2042 and that second Game Misconduct stopped him. Are you a time travel scientist?
Joe doesn’t want to fuel Benn anymore… so he ignores him as Cross’ body has stopped shaking as Woodson orders Boettcher to start a count as he drops down to the mat and hooks Brenton’s far leg.
DING DING DING
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner… Scott Woodson!!!!
Boettcher raises Woodson’s arm as Frankie climbs in to the ring to celebrate as if it was a marathon hard fought victory.
Joe Hoffman: Someone get a medical crew down here to check on Cross… as Woodson celebrates beating a man who may have nearly died in….
Benny Newell: The undefeated Scott Woodson! 1-0 baby!
With that we cut away from the announcers and the action in the ring and towards the High Octane Vision screen, where word has it that we have a new signings vignette ready to air!!
The HOV screen flickers to life as soft, inspirational orchestral music plays in the background; an old black and white movie shows men 50 or so feet away from the camera walking into a snow covered maple forest, the men all carrying multiple buckets in each hand. The old reel skips in places, every so often there seem to be small jumps in time, however the men appear to be laughing as they slip in amongst the trees and seperate from one another. A soothing male voice speaks over the music.
“For years Canadians have ventured into snow covered forests to harvest the sap of the mighty Canadian maple just before the arrival of spring…”
The old movie is replaced with a modern, colourized shot of a spigot sticking out of a tree, clear liquid dripping into a bucket hanging underneath it.
“…the tradition continues today. This liquid, the blood of the mighty Maple is the main ingredient of the lifeblood of Canadians everywhere, and once processed and sweetened…”
The shot changes again, this time showing dark brown, viscuous liquid pouring from a filling machine into five bottles positioned under the nipples of the filler. The bottles fill to the top, the nipples stop pouring, and the five bottles are mechanically whisked away as five new empty bottles replace them and the process continues.
“…it is transformed into a part of a healthy breakfast!”
The camera pans out from a closeup of a plate of pancakes to show a full breakfast, placed perfectly on a beautiful, complimentary table setting. Eggs, bacon, sausage, fried potatoes, toast, juice, milk, and three pancakes, all looking good enough to eat.
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and Rick Dickulous agrees, that’s why he is proud to introduce ‘Tree Blood,’ his new line of Maple Syrup, being sold at your local grocer today!”
Rick Dickulous stands – more, towers – behind the breakfast table holding a bottle shaped like a giant drop filled with dark liquid. Built like a giant strongman, he seems so large in juxtaposition to the small bottle he supports with one hand, whilst gesturing at it with the other like a tart in a sequined dress on a game show displaying prizes to contestants. Rick wears a red tartaned kilt – the typical red and black tartan associated with a steretypical Canadian – making his behaviour that much more comical; his outfit completed with a nigh skin tight white ringer t-shirt sporting a Canadian flag across the chest, and the words “I’M AN…” above, and “EH HOLE!” below, the neck and biceps tinged red. He wears a tight black beanie covering his ears and sporting a Canadian flag in the centre of the forehead. On the bottle in his hand is a white silhouette of Rick’s head with red, bleeding letters spelling out the product name, they make it seem as though the silhouette’s forehead is busted open. Rick smiles into the camera.
“Tree Blood is the best maple syrup you can buy, guy! Let me show you!”
The camera pans out to a table with two stacks of pancakes on two separate plates. In front of one, a sign reading “OTHER GUYS,” and one in front of the other with “TREE BLOOD” on it in the product’s bleeding font.
“Here we have two stacks of Grandma’s buttermilk pancakes. These motherfuckers right here would make a beaver chew it’s balls off to get out of a trap just to get the crumbs – no shit, it happened once…I followed the trail of blood all the way back to the tough sumbitch’s ballsack hangin’ there frozen as fuck!”
A muffled, unclear voice is heard mumbling off camera and Rick focuses off to the side, shielding his eyes from the stage lights.
“What? This is supposed to be PG? Fuck that, you definitely got the wrong fuckin’ guy to do this shit show…..you want me to keep going?”
The off camera voice is much more clear this time as the shot pans out, revealing a commercial set; a microphone peeks from the top of the wide angle shot, edges of the backdrop can be seen, along with assorted wires and cables taped securely to the floor.
“Rick, kids are supposed to see this and buy your product. That’s how this is supposed to work…I mean, you can’t drop f-bombs if kids are watching.”
The camera adjusts as Rick points at the pancakes, turning his gaze back off camera, speaking to who can only be presumed as the director off screen.
“We doin’ this or not, buddy? These pancakes are makin’ me hungry as fuck!”
The off camera voice speaks again clearly:
“Just run with it and we’ll shoot another one later…aaaaand, ACTION!!”
Without missing a beat, Rick picks up the OTHER GUYS syrup and pours it over the pancakes. As the camera pans in on the stack, the syrup seems to be runny, and not as dark as the syrup pouring into the bottles being filled in the factory earlier in the segment. The shot cuts back to Rick looking into the camera, gesturing at the other guys’ offerings and speaking excitedly.
“See how this shit just goes everywhere? Like, this syrup is seriously fuckin’ the dog in every aspect. It’s making fuckin’ Lake Ontario on my plate, and that means soggy pancakes. That, my friends, is a travesty.”
Rick picks up the TREE BLOOD bottle and pours it over the other stack of pancakes. Again the camera zooms in on the stack, but this time it seems that the syrup has a weird reddish tint to it, and while it flows, it is very thick and non viscuous, looking almost like real blood.
“Tree Blood is my jam – literally! See that red colour? Motherfuckin’ strawberry JAM, GUY!”
Rick excitedly dips his finger into the syrup and puts it in his mouth. He loudly cleans his finger and holds it up at the camera, his infectious smile beaming across his face.
“Ask your local grocer about Tree Blood, or head to the syrup section and check the shelves – if it’s not there, ask them to Misery Whip up an order!”
Rick puts down his finger and replaces it with a big thumbs up, poster child smile still beaming from his face. The image of Rick fades, replaced by another old black and white flickering film. The same men from the earlier movie clip stand around a campfire with a large metal pot hanging over top. A few men stand around talking while another stirs the pot as the soothing male voice again emenates from the speakers as the soft orchestral music begins playing again.
“So remember, our forefathers used maple syrup as an energy boost in the dead of winter, and now you can use Tree Blood as your morning energy boost! Get it for your little lumberjacks today!”
The HOV goes black as a puzzled Chicago crowd tries to come to terms with what the hell they just watched.
Seems like a good time to remind people of a cause very close to the hearts of many in High Octane Wrestling
Post advert we cut back to the Hall of Fame announce team….
Joe Hoffman: We’re now set for our second match of the night… and it really doesn’t need much set up.
Benny Newell: Two fucking monsters are going to fucking destroy the fuck out of each other to see who is the most monstery monster here in HOW.
Joe Hoffman: As odd as that sounds Benny… it sums things up pretty well.
Benny Newell: We’re gonna see blood here Joe… lots of fucking blood!
Joe Hoffman: Well COO Scott Woodson did sign off on this match being no disqualification and written HOW off from all liability. So these men will be free and clear to tear this arena down tonight… hopefully not literally.
The lights go down and which sends the crowd screaming in anticipation as to who will be coming out. Two bell tolls can be heard around the arena before the familiar heavy guitar sounds for the beginning of “For Whom The Bell Tolls” by Metallica rings through out the arena. A single light shines on the entrance into the arena as Austin Reeves walks out. Wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans, black boots and black finger tipless gloves, walks out and then stops right where the aisle begins. He puts his hands on his hips and looks around while lights begin to flash from the media taking pictures of him standing there.
Bryan McVay: The following match is scheduled for one fall and there will be NO DISQUALIFICATIONS. Making his way to the ring, from Newark, New Jersey and weighing in at 295 pounds…. AUSTIN REEVES!!!!!!
Austin looks around the arena and soaks in the mixed reaction from the HOW fans before he starts walking slowly towards the ring. Ignoring the fans who have their hands out reached, Austin strolls towards the ring, taking his time and smirking as he gets closer to the ring. He walks up the stairs then steps over the top rope and slowly walks around the ring looking at the fans with a cocky grin on his face.
Joe Hoffman: One wouldn’t want to guess what is going through his head tonight…
Benny Newell: One can only hope well see cause it will be a beautiful bloodbath! Reeves is going to put that old man Kostoff out of his fucking misery once and for all.
The opening chords of “Name Of The Game” Crystal Method scream across the speakers as he steps out onto the stage. Looking out he slowly makes his way to ringside.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent… from Tampa, Florida and weighing in at 285 pounds… HOW Hall of Famer…. CHRIS KOSTOFF!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Two of HOW’s biggest men… biggest monsters doing battle here with the rules thrown out the window.
Benny Newell: Lucky for Hortega. All he needs to do now is stand back and count the pinfalls.
DING DING DING
The bell sounds and without any shock there is no collar elbow tie up… but a furious exchanges of rights flying between the two monsters. Each must throw about ten punches as Reeves starts to gain the advantage as Kostoff starts stumbling back. Two in a row for Reeves as he drives his shoulder into Kostoff’s gut and slams him into the turnbuckle where he starts with a fury of body shots. Kostoff fires back with a few of his own but Reeves connects with a hard elbow as Kostoff drops to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: We knew this wasn’t gonna be a technical match… as these two men seem content just trading punches this whole match.
Benny Newell: Luckily neither man has a brain… so no CTE worries.
Kostoff rolls out of the ring as Reeves quickly follows and throws the Hall of Famer into the steel steps as they dislodge Reeves grabs the top one and slams it into the back of Kostoff. Throwing the steps to the side Reeves pulls Kostoff up and slams him into the metal guardrail. Kostoff grabs on and stays up on his feet as Reeves drives a big boot into his skull and Kostoff is sent back down to the floor.
Joe Hoffman: Strong start by Reeves here as Kostoff is quickly reeling.
Benny Newell: Reeves going for a chair now…
Pushing Bryan McVay out of the way, Reeves grabs a steel chair from the timekeepers area as Kostoff slowly pulls himself back to his feet.
Square between the eyes Reeves nails Kostoff as we see the Hall of Famer is busted open… but doesn’t go down. Reeves cocks his head a bit and just smiles as he swings again…
Kostoff’s knees wobble a bit… but he still stays on his feet as Reeves shakes his head again… the smile now gone as he jams the chair into Kostoff gut, doubling him over and starts with rapid fire shots across his back…
ONE…. TWO…. THREE…. FOUR…. FIVE….
The crowd counting along as the chair almost falls apart as Kostoff is still on his feet. Reeves tosses the remains and throws the apron up as he starts to pull something out as the crowd goes wild….
Joe Hoffman: Is that a board covered in razorwire… thumbtacks…. and… and broken glass?!?
Benny Newell: Imagine a fucking brainbuster on that Joe….
Reeves slides the board into the ring as he then grabs a kendo stick and….
It’s a kendo stick… but it’s Kostoff with his own nailsing Reeves across the side of the head… Reeves quickly rolls into the ring to try and collect himself and put some space between the two. But Kostoff follows Reeves quickly back into the ring…
Reeves drills Kostoff across the back with the kendo stick as the Hall of famer winces and fires back. The two men are now trading kendo stick shots to the head as the blood is flowing like faucets as Reeves boots Kostoff in the guts and picks him up for a power bomb…
Joe Hoffman: Can he hit it on that board…
Kostoff starts to fire back with punches up in the air as Reeves starts to stumble and can’t see the board so he slams Kostoff down to the mat with a nasty sit down powerbomb as Hortgea has the first fall of the night.
Kostoff powers out as he grabs a nearby kendo stick and cracks Reeves in the head with it. With both men still on the mat, Kostoff takes the kendo stick and starts to drive it across the throat of Reeves, trying to choke him out as He gasps for air and Hortega asks if he wants to give up.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff looking for a submission? I think that’s what you’d call this.
Benny Newell: It’s called this costs extra Joe…
Reeves counters back with a few punches as Kostoff’s grip is weakened and Reeve sis able to push him off. Kostoff opos back to his feet and hits the ropes and nails a big clothesline on Reeves as he is turned inside out. As Reeves climbs back to his feet Kostoff it now Kostoff kicking Reeves in the gut and lifting him up for a powerbomb….
Joe Hoffman: NO REMORSE!!!! Can Reeves fight out….
Benny Newell: Thumb him in the…
Reeves almost hears Benny as he digs his thumb into Kostoff’s eye… but then monster just screams as he slams Reeves down and straight onto the board of razor wire, thumb tacks and glass.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff connects!!!!!
Benny Newell: HOLY SHIT!!!!
Reeves body twists in pain as he tries to roll off the board… but his skin is almost stuck on it. Kostoff wipes the blood from his face as he drops onto Reeves, cutting himself on the razor wire himself as Hortgea goes for the count….
DING DING DING
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner….. CHRIS KOSTOFF!!!!!
Kostoff rolls away from Reeves, unable to stand back up as Reeves continues to try and pull himself free from the razor wire embedded in his back.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff with that sickening No Remorse for the win… but one has to wonder if Reeves could have kicked out had he not gotten stuck in the razor wire.
Benny Newell: That’s false imprisonment Joe!!! That shouldn’t count! Someone arrest Kostoff for using that damn board!
Joe Hoffman: Reeves brought it in the match… and it backfired on him….
Hortga raises Kostoff’s hand as the Hall of Famer collapses back down to the mat and rolls out of the ring and crew helps Reeves escape from the razor wire as we can now see the glass and thumb tacks embedded in his bloody back as we cut away from ringside as the crew scrambles to begin cleaning up all the debris.
The HOV comes to life and we see footage from earlier today that was released on HOWrestling.com.
The news broke about Brian Hollywood making some life altering changes….and quick frankly some brave ones.
As the video begins to play Hollywood’s statement begins….
“You know, these last couple weeks I’ve had to make some very difficult decisions…obviously the news about me leaving Hollywood Enterprises was big time news and something that was personally hard for me to do.” Hollywood said in his opening statement.
Hollywood transitioned as he appeared to have a lot on his mind. When asked what drove him to this decision, he had this to say. “Everyone knows how much Hollywood Enterprises means to me and how much of an impact it’s had on my life. However, there’s been something else that I haven’t been able to get my mind off of..something that is actually far more important to me. My reputation as a HOW wrestler. It’s no secret that I’ve taken a tumble since coming back to HOW. Sure I got to the Finals of the HOW World Championship Tournament..but what the fuck have I actually done since then?”
Hollywood wasn’t looking to get to any long winded commenting, but he did finish up on his decision to leave his company in the hands of his Board of Directors. “2016…what happened to my dominance? What happened to the man who controlled everything in HOW and held all the HOW singles Championships to close out the company on its last run? I want that Hollywood back. And it’s funny I should bring up how I want the old Hollywood back. It just so happens to coincide with my other breaking news outlet. But from me going from dominating HOW in all of 2016 and getting to the HOW World Championship Finals, to being left off the ICONIC PPV altogether? That was a gut punch for me..and a wake up call that I seriously needed to do something to get back to what I do best…and that’s wrestling and dominating everywhere I step. That’s why I chose to leave my company..so I can return to the basics…so I can focus more on my wrestling because it’s obvious to me that it’s serious. I’ve been treading water and I need to be on top of the motherfucker in order to get back to what I do best.”
That was only the first statement we got from Mr. Hollywood. News also broke…and perhaps this was almost just as big, if not bigger, than Hollywood leaving his company that hit the airwaves….Mr. Hollywood also dropped this comment transitioning from remarks of why he left his company. Hollywood had this to say…
“So we all love controversy don’t we? Well it just so happens that I’m so serious about getting back to wrestling that I’ve decided to make another difficult choice…and this choice might very well be the biggest shockwaves that flow throughout all of High Octane Wrestling on the eve of ICONIC…because how iconic would ICONIC be without a little bit of Hollywood swerve surprises? That’s why I’m officially announcing that not only will I be getting back more seriously into wrestling…but just how serious is serious? Well let’s just say I’ve reached out to a man with whom I have a lot of history with. A man I never thought I would ever reach out to in order to get myself back to main event caliber. A man, with whom I actually just recently faced. A man who actually reminded me just who the fuck I am! Well, as of a week ago, I have joined the Five Star Academy school of wrestling! Who better than Mike Best himself do I go to in order to get back to being the dominant machine I used to be? I have a long road ahead of me but the LBI is quickly approaching and I intend on getting back to glory just in time for March to Glory!”
“Oh and as for ICONIC? I may not have a match on the card…but you better fucking believe I’ll be involved in some capacity…that’s not a forecast…that’s not a prediction…that’s a motherfucking Executive Promise!”
With that the video ends with the crowd wondering along with the rest of the folks watching at home….what….if anything….will Hollywood be doing tonight to start himself back on the right track??
The Machine reveals the #LBI2020 brackets and schedule tomorrow at 2pm CST
Joe Hoffman: And what a night it has been already here on ICONIC!
Benny Newell: I already can’t feel my legs..best fucking night ever!
Joe Hoffman: Be that as it may be Benny, we’ve got a long night of great action ahead of us! We’re just moments away from Scott Stevens taking on Steve Solex!
Benny Newell: It’s a contest of the dad bods! I mean…Solex has got to have a dad bod if he’s the number one dad..but Stevens? Got that lonesome loser of a bod. Will never be able to do anything about that!
The lights in the arena go pitch black, as red lasers and spotlights light up the area as a guitar begins.
♫ “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant♫
The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The cheers that had once filled the arena quickly turn into jeers. The crowd knows who is about to walk out and they are letting him know it by chanting his favorite chant as the final image that is displayed across the screen is a giant hand that slowly closes into a FIST as letters slowly appear and form a message and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters… SCOTT STEVENS.
Bryan McVay: From The Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256 pounds…SCOTT! STEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEENS!
The wait is finally over as a spotlight shines towards the top of the entrance ramp and Scott Stevens appears from behind the curtain, and as soon as he makes his way to the edge of the stage golden pyro begins to rain down behind him as he raises up his right fist high into the air. As Stevens makes his way down the ramp he just smirks and shakes his head at the vocal bashers.
Stevens slowly makes his way around the ring talking smack and flipping off the crowd until he reaches the nearest set of ring steps and proceeds to enter the ring. Once inside, Stevens goes to the nearest corner and ascends the ropes; looking out amongst the crowd before raising the two unofficial state birds of Texas before dropping to the canvas as a loud chant erupts from the crowd.
“FUCK YOU, STEVENS!” Clap x5
The Angry Texan shows no emotion as he stretches out on the ropes waiting for the bell to ring.
Joe Hoffman: And here Stevens awaits for the arrival of Solex!
Benny Newell: I don’t know what Stevens expects to come out of this match with Solex other than another L. The fucker should just get the letter capitalized as a tattoo on his body…would finally complement the rest of those scribbles on himself.
Joe Hoffman: Well Benny, a lot of expectations for Stevens tonight. He’s trying to keep the ship righted and a win over Solex on ICONIC tonight would be a great step forward in the right direction as we shift to the LBI.
Benny Newell: You know, with a lot of talk about the LBI coming up, maybe..just maybe Stevens can get his own branding like that shit Scottywood incorporates….maybe the LBI stands for..oh I don’t know…Lonesome Loser Beaten Incorporated?!
Joe Hoffman: Um…Benny?…that’s LLBI…
Benny Newell: EXACTLY! Who gives a two halved fuck if there’s another L in it! That’s the whole point for Stevens!
Joe Hoffman: Ok then…
Avenged Sevenfold’s This Mean War plays throughout the arena as Steve Solex makes his way through the curtain and onto the entrance ramp. Solex slowly makes his way to the ring, dodging any fan interaction. He takes the steps up to the apron, and walks across to the adjacent turnbuckle. He stands up on the second rope and hoists both of his fists into the air, taking in the adulation of the fans in attendance. He steps down and enters the ring through the second rope, and tests the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: No love lost between these fans and Solex tonight.
Benny Newell: You think he gives a fuck about them? I wouldn’t either! You can never satisfy those marky motherfuckers in today’s wrestling age! Bet you a million bit coins that three quarters of these fat fucks dwell from their mothers basement as saltless queer bait trolls.
Joe Hoffman: I…wouldn’t know anything about that…but anyways, Solex looks like he’s ready to go and so is Matt Boettcher, who will be refereeing this matchup between the two.
Boettcher checks them both before turning and calling for the bell!
The match is underway as as Stevens and Solex trade away a few quick, sharp glances at each other. Before long, though, they are locked in the middle of the ring as each of the two attempt to get the upperhand over the other. A traditional, test of strength ensues as though they were competing for a national championship of the battle of control alone before Stevens is able to find the small window of opportunity on his end. Stevens takes a shot at Solex, who wasn’t ready for it, by gripping one of Solex’s hands and getting one of his freed by sending a closed fist straight to the gut of Solex. Solex lets the grip go and Stevens takes his shot and follows it up with a sweep of the leg taking Solex down to the mat. Solex doesn’t stay on the ground long, though, as he pops back up only for Stevens to rush the rope and come back at Solex with a shoulder drop that halts Solex back into the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Stevens came for a fight tonight!
Benny Newell: This is merely childs play, Joe Joe! Solex will find his footing soon…you will see!
Stevens doesn’t give Solex a moment to breathe as he’s down on the mat and mounting Solex as he indulges himself by sending several right and lefts into the face of Solex. Solex is finally able to defend himself before he sends up a swift knee that catches the side of Stevens gut..and a gut check it was as Stevens rolls off Solex and to the side. This allows Solex to breathe momentarily before popping back up to his feet and taking his moment to strike. Solex starts off with a knee drop to the face of Stevens before transitioning into several face stomps relentlessly into the paddled squared circle. Solex finally lets up, but only to grip Stevens to his feet long enough before connecting with a neckbreaker, this time not giving Stevens a chance to breathe before dropping down and going for a cover.
Joe Hoffman: And a quick kickout there by Stevens. Obviously it’s going to take more than that to finish him off.
Benny Newell: Yes…but you’ve got to love the poetic justice here, hoffhole! Solex’s unrelentless assault on Stevens breathing dynamic is like Stevens win record…hard to gasp!
Solex gets his footing as he reaches down for Stevens but Stevens takes Solex off guard by rolling him up in a quick small package!
Solex powers out without thinking about the count like his life depended on it!
Joe Hoffman: Whoa! Stevens with a surprise, perhaps quick, thinking maneuver there!
Benny Newell: Oh give me a fucking break! He wasn’t thinking! He was merely being desperate!
This small window allows Stevens to get back to his feet quickly as Solex, too, is able to get to his feet. The two get into another test of strength but this time, it is Solex who gets the upperhand as he dishes out a shot to the midsection before taking Stevens down with a belly to belly suplex. Solex once again goes for a cover.
Another quick kickout for Stevens. Solex doesn’t stop the pace before launching Stevens into the ropes, but it is Stevens who uses the force of the ropes as leverage as he barrels into Solex and taking him down with a swift clothesline! Stevens grabs Solex and launches Solex into the corner turnbuckle. Stevens takes a few steps back before rushing at Solex and dives towards him but Solex moves allowing Stevens to hit the corner turnbuckle as no one is home. Stevens turns around quickly as Solex tries to grapple with Stevens, but Stevens dodges again and connects with the fist leveling Solex into the ground! Stevens drops down and covers Solex.
Joe Hoffman: And Solex is able to get his shoulder up! My god this has been a nice match up of evade and elude here by both men! A lot of endurance is being exerted here making this an exciting match up to watch!
Benny Newell: It’s going to take more than endurance here for the lonesome loser if he wants to even think about pulling off an upset here!
Stevens reaches down and brings Solex back to his feet. He once again grabs Solex and sends him towards the corner turnbuckle once again before running at him and finally connecting in that corner with a Stinger Splash as Solex flops forward into another grapple move by Stevens who sends Solex barreling quickly into the mat with a Scorpion Driver! Stevens once again goes for the cover..
THR..NO! Solex is just able to get his shoulder up!
Joe Hoffman: This matchup has been electrifying here as ICONIC is proving to be that and much more as it always is with the hottest action!
Benny Newell: Man come on Solex…you’re better than this! You’re the number one dad for fucks sake!
Stevens looks to take to the sky hoping for a high risk, high reward type of payoff as he targets Solex before diving off….but NOBODY HOME!! SOLEX MOVES!!
Benny Newell: YES!!! SEE NOW SOLEX IS GONNA GET IT!
Joe Hoffman: Easy there Benny…
Solex rolls to his feet as he hops up and looks about the crowd who are hot on their feet. Solex reaches down and grabs Stevens but Stevens shoves Solex towards the corner. Caught trying to think on his feet, Solex is then taken by surprise when Stevens tries to dive towards Solex in the corner, but Solex is quick to think on his feet as he dodges as Stevens once again clashes with the turnbuckle. Stevens turns around, stumbles out of the corner coming toward Solex as Solex sends a stiff knee into the stomach of Stevens before doubling him over and grabbing him and locking him in a front face lock. Solex drops to a knee and places Stevens over it…
Joe Hoffman: Oh boy…we’ve been here before Benny! Solex literally has Stevens bent over his knee! You don’t think?!…
Benny Newell: You better believe it, hoffy! The belt is a coming!!
Almost as if Benny is predicting the future, on cue mind you, Solex rips the belt from his waist and folds it in half as he goes to hold it high over his head…
Benny Newell: Oh I’ve been waiting for this asshole to get every form of punishment he’s about to get dished to him from Solex!
Joe Hoffman: Well…we’re about to see how far your metaphors will go here Benny…
However, almost as if this move is never destined to work properly, Stevens drops down and catches the tights of Solex as he presses Solex’s shoulders down to the mat…catching Solex completely off guard!!
Benny Newell: OH FOR THE FUCK LOVE OF HELL NO!!!!
NO!!!! Solex is literally able to get his shoulder up at 2.9999999999999!!!!
Joe Hoffman: What a save there by Solex! That would have been one hell of an ending, Benny!
Benny Newell: I nearly shit my pants there……I SHIT you not! That was too fucking close!
Stevens, feeling like he almost had that victory right there, sighs before mounting Solex and just unloading in frustration with a series of closed punches as Solex can’t help but to take it defenseless. It gets so out of control , that Boettcher starts the five count on Stevens in getting him to break up the assault.
FI….Stevens just barely gives up before Boettcher can get to the five count. Stevens rolls to his feet and just shakes his head in dismay as Solex is slow to recover. Stevens turns around and shakes his head again as he tells himself this is going to end his way.
Joe Hoffman: I can see how Stevens is getting frustrated…really wanting this win. You can see the passion there but Stevens has to be careful…
Benny Newell: There’s no such thing, hoffhole! You’re talking about a lost cause here!
Stevens turns around and measures up Solex as he slowly gets back to his feet. Stevens looks to end this straight up but before he can go for the Toxic Sting, Solex puts up his hands as if he’s instructing Stevens to wait!! Stevens all confused looks at Solex who simply just points at him. Solex smirks before looking off in the distance like “what the fuck is that?” Stevens looks down before Solex sends his finger straight into Stevens eye!
Benny Newell: AHAHAHA!! THE FINGER POKE OF DAD!!!
Stevens, blindsided by the move, stumbles backwards before Solex rushes at him and takes him down with a shoulder block.
Benny Newell: Oh here we go!!
Benny Newell: By Gosh!!!
Joe Hoffman: Huh?
Solex continues off the opposite ropes as Stevens gets to his feet, only to be knocked down with another shoulder block.
Benny Newell: By Golly!!
Joe Hoffman: Do what?
Stevens is quick to his feet again, but is then taken out by the Clothesline from Heck from Solex! Solex drops down and smirks as he covers Stevens!
Joe Hoffman: Stevens is out!
Benny Newell: YES!!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner….STEVE SOLEX!!!
Solex gets back to his feet as he starts to celebrate in the middle of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: What an exciting back and forth match up that was Benny! That had me on the edge of my seat!
Benny Newell: I knew all along that Solex was going to pull off the win here tonight!
Joe Hoffman: Be that as it may though Benny, you can’t blame Stevens for a very hard fought match here tonight! Stevens should be proud as the Number One Dad in HOW continues his winning ways!
The action cuts away as the restless crowd is eager for the matches to come.
The action cuts backstage where we have Blair Moise standing by.
Blair Moise: Ladies and gentlemen I am here with another returning superstar who has accepted the invite for the Lee Best Invitational……Mr. Crash Rodriguez.
Crash slowly walks in from the right side of the camera and comes into view.
Blair Moise: Thank you so much for taking time to-
Crash literally falls on his face as he is viciously nailed from behind. Blair also falls to the ground after Crash was thrown into her. As she crawls out of the frame, the camera pans back and we see the cause of Rodriguez going down.
But this man is not alone………standing next to him is none other than the God of HOW…..Lee motherfucking Best.
Lee crouches down and nods in approval. As he stands back up he turns towards the man who delivered the blow….
Lee Best: Now that ….what would the kids say……lit?
The man just smiles at his new boss.
Lee Best: Ok lets get out of here……..I told you I would like you get one shot in tonight and that was it…and when Crash wakes up he will know WHY he just got nailed with …..what you calling that?
Lee Best: Well Illinois did just legalize the shit……..but ya lets go man. The suite is this way and I want to get you all set up before the big boy matches start….I believe you will know of the folks wrestling at the top of the card………isn’t that right Mr. Hill?
“Please Lee….just call me Warrick….you know damn well that I know those fuckers”
Lee and Warrick share a laugh and shake hands as they literally step over the body of Crash and walk off camera….
The scene fades out as the Father heads towards his suite to watch his SON wrestle next against his greatest signing….Lindsay Troy.
Refueled moves to Saturday Nights for the duration of the LBI
The HOV fires up with a video preview of our next match.
(VIDEO-Refueled IX: Cecilworth Farthington vs. Lindsay Troy – November 22nd)
-…Farthington grabs hold of Troy’s arm, stepping through the ropes and bending her arm around the ring post, repeatedly slamming it against the hard metal pole!…
-…The ICON Champion drops to a knee, pulling on the already hurting arm of Lindsay Troy, and locks in a vicious armbar that is now trying to firmly remove the offending arm from it’s socket…
-…The hold locked in tightly, Farthington applies the cross-armbreaker on the already dead limb of his opponent, who would be screaming if she was conscious. Boettcher, unaware of the in-ring shenanigans, slides back into the ring and immediately calls for the bell as he realizes that LT is out cold…
(VIDEO-Refueled XI: ‘El Hombre Blanco Attacks Troy Backstage – December 20th)
–…The sickening sound of metal on bone reverberates through the hallway, as a steel pipe connects directly with the injured shoulder of Lindsay Troy…
It’s a hooded figure, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black sweatshirt with the hood up. The attacker drops the hood off of their head, revealing their true identity… El Hombre fucking Blanco.
The Mexican wrestling legend raises the pipe again, bringing it down onto the injured arm of Lindsay Troy. Once, twice, three times, before tossing the pipe aside and laying into LT with stiff boots. Very, very familiar looking boots…
(VIDEO-Refueled XII: ‘El Hombre Blanco’ vs. Lindsay Troy – January 3rd)
–The crowd is going absolutely bonkers as Troy gets to her feet first. El Hombre Blanco’s sucking wind and he’s nowhere near an exit route. She scrambles over, a wicked grin on her face, and quick as lightning slaps on a jiu jitsu kneebar on ‘Blanco’s right knee…
Benny Newell: She could tear every ligament in his knee. He may never walk again!
Joe Hoffman: ‘Blanco is tapping and the Queen of the Ring is cinching it in tighter.
…the Elite Protection Unit comes pouring out through the curtain and the HOW fans are not happy about it; obviously Lee Best has seen enough of this. They immediately swarm Lindsay Troy, tugging at her arms and legs and yelling at her to break the hold. One reaches for a taser and that’s when she, reluctantly, releases ‘Blanco from her grasp. Troy’s pulled to her feet and shoved to the side, and she holds her hands up in an “I’m cool” gesture…
(VIDEO-Refueled XII: Lee Best Confronts His Son – January 3rd)
–…we see Michael smirking back at his father in the ring
Lee Best: Look Son….I love ya….but you gotta hear this…….it is time…….time for you to come home…10 years ago you began your Hall of Fame journey and began the rise to the top of the mountain………its time you get back there.
The HOV comes to life showing Mike Best, in all his Lion Heat glory, inside the Roman Coliseum.
Lee Best: At ICONIC you will take on Lindsay Troy and the winner of that match will secure one of the biggest prizes I have ever given out…and it’s in the name of getting you, my SON, back to glory……….the winner will get to choose their group for the Lee Best Invitational!!!
The crowd buzzes at the huge announcement made by Lee. Michael can be seen smiling and nodding his head in agreement.
Lee Best: I am doing what a Father must do sometimes. Tonight I have given you the opportunity of all opportunities Son……..it is now up to you. I want you to go to ICONIC, beat Lindsay, win your LBI group and then go to March to Glory and reclaim the crown…..your crown……as High Octane World Champion.
We see a split screen of Father and Son staring intently at each other.
Ring announcer Bryan McVay climbs into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Well folks. The moment has come….and we know Dad is up in the suite watching….with Warrick Hill??!!
The sound of glass clinking is heard as Benny breaks open a fresh bottle of Jack Daniels for the upcoming match.
Benny Newell: I’m ready…DRINK!
Joe Hoffman: When you talk about wrestlers who epitomize ‘iconic’, both Michael Lee Best and Lindsay Troy belong in that category. McVay is in the ring and ready to get this next match underway.
McVay raises the microphone to his mouth and we’re off.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is a one fall and by decree of Lee Best…the winner will get to choose their group for the Lee Best Invitational. Introducing first…
“Watch Me”- The Phantoms
The Allstate Center erupts when the opening clap-stomp beat of the The Phantom’s ‘Watch Me’ blares over the sound system.
Bryan McVay: From Tampa, Florida. She is the Queen of the Ring! LINDSAY TROY!
“Gonna show them a thing or two…”
Her hometown Chicago fans let out a loud roar when Lindsay Troy steps out from behind the curtain amidst a shower of pyro and cannon blasts.
“I’m gonna turn it up set it loose
Feast your eyes I’ve got something new
From up here can’t beat the view…
Just watch me now…”
The Queen of the Ring doesn’t waste any time in walking down the ramp towards the ring.
“Just watch me now
I got somethin’ for ya
A little more for ya
You won’t believe your eyes
Just watch me now…”
She makes her way down the aisle, spotlights from the ceiling both tracing her path and lighting the way forward while she keeps her eyes focused on the ring.
“Just watch me now
I got somethin’ for ya
A little more for ya
You won’t believe your eyes…”
Troy reaches the ring and jumps flat-footed onto the apron. She glances out at the crowd and then flips herself into the ring over the top rope.
Joe Hoffman: The Queen of the Ring is inside the ring two weeks after she returned to action from an injury at Refueled XII and did a number on Mike Best-
Benny Newell: El Hombre Blanco dammit!
Joe Hoffman: Anyone with the IQ of a brick knows El Hombre Blanco was Mike Best in a mask.
Benny Newell: Fake news-lies-slander-conspiracy theories!
Joe Hoffman: Benny!
Benny Newell: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA…
LT poses on the turnbuckle to give her fans a photo op. A few seconds later, she jumps down and turns her gaze towards the stage where her opponent will be soon coming out.
“Reach out and touch faith…”
Which is now as the slap fucking bass booms through the speakers inside the arena, the sweet opening riff of Depeche Mode’s ‘Personal Jesus’ heralding the arrival on the Son of God himself- one Michael Lee Best.
Bryan McVay: And her opponent…
McVay has to stop and wait a few seconds as the crowd lets out an earsplitting sonic boom of noise.
Bryan McVay: From Chicago, Illinois, he is a High Octane Wrestling Hall of Famer. He is the SON of GOD. And he is the unsanctioned HOFC champion…MICHAEL LEE BEST!
The always polarizing wrestling veteran steps out slowly. He too receives a massive ovation from the Chicago faithful as he comes out wearing his selfie-jacket over his SON of GOD – Third Coming shirt.
“Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares…”
As he saunters toward the ring, Mike makes sure the camera gets a good close up when he flips the bird and shows off his Hall of Fame ring.
Mike’s eyes lock in on his opponent as he approaches the apron and then rolls in under the bottom rope.
“Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there…”
Back to his feet, Mike goes right to his corner and stretches along the ropes in preparation for the match.
Joe Hoffman: Two weeks ago, Lee Best had a ‘Come to Jesus’ talk with his son. Tonight at ICONIC, this is a HUGE night for Mike because the woman standing across from him presents a major challenge and plenty of problems for him inside that ring.
Benny Newell: Bullshit! Mike’s got this.
Joe Hoffman: Benny, for starters Lindsay Troy is no Kirsta Lewis. She is known as the Queen of the Ring for a very good reason and her career speaks for itself.
Benny Newell: Lee Best always has a plan, Hoffhole- he always has a plan. Everything is proceeding as Lee has foreseen. And if all else fails, Mike knows how to take the shortcuts necessary to make sure the fucking plan comes together.
Standing in her corner with arms resting on the top rope, Lindsay calmly waits as referee Matt Boettcher does the pre-match check for foreign objects and the like. Her eyes focus on Best and bore holes right through him. Mike fidgets in his corner and paces in short steps back and forth. He snarls something at Boettcher when he comes over so the referee makes it quick and calls for the bell…
DING DING DING
The crowd jumps to their feet as Best and LT take a step forward.
Joe Hoffman: We are under way.
LT and Best circle slowly.
Troy appears focused and patient. Best looks for the first opening to strike.
Finally, they go to lock up in the middle of the ring…but Mike spins and drop toeholds Troy to the mat. Armbar on Troy’s injured arm…no- LT rolls away. Troy tries to shoot the leg she kneebarred at Refueled XII. Mike steps aside and LT tumbles to the mat. Stomp by Mike…no…Troy rolls clear. Back to her feet, she whirls around. Spinning heel kick. Mike ducks and goes for her arm. LT slides to avoid. She drops to a seated position and drives a knife edged thrust up to Mike’s throat sending the former eight time HOW World Champion toppling backwards landing hard on the mat. LT rushes in to follow up. Best scrambles to stay clear and grabs on to the bottom rope. He pulls himself under the rope to the apron.
Boettcher calls for a break.
Joe Hoffman: Both wrestlers catch their breath after that fast-paced sequence. Both Lindsay Troy and Michael Lee Best are clearly targeting the other’s injured areas.
Best shouts at Boettcher to move Lindsay back.
Benny Newell: That’s right Boettcher. Get her back.
Boettcher does and Michael warily steps back into the ring.
We start again. Tie up. LT takes a wristlock and wrenches his arm. LT drives Best down to the mat. Best kips up and powers out. He takes a side headlock – transitions to a hammerlock.
Joe Hoffman: He’s going right back to that shoulder that was injured by Farthington and aggravated by Michael-
Benny Newell: EL HOMBRE BLANCO!
Joe Hoffman: …attack on her at Refueled XI.
Benny Newell: I told you there’s a plan and it’s now all coming together. Cecilworth Farthington played his part. El Hombre Blanco played his part. And now it’s all about Michael Lee Best.
Best grabs Troy’s other arm and twists around into a straitjacket hold. LT tries to fight out. She hits a back kick that glances off Mike’s leg.
Soon, she slowly flips the tables on Best by turning it around…but Best holds her off and turns it back.
Troy then drops – bridges – spins and this time succeeds in reversing the hold back on Best. LT sits Best down on the deck and digs a knee deep into his back.
Best tries to move left and right. Troy tries to sit down and pull Mike back towards her to put even more pressure on the hold. But Best rolls through up and over her to put the straitjacket back on Troy!
Joe Hoffman: Neither wrestler is giving an inch here. They are battling hard to gain any inch of advantage over the other.
Benny Newell: Shortcut Michael! Take the shortcut!
LT grows frustrated as she has to fight off the straitjacket hold again. She wiggles down and slips out. But Best drives a forearm shiver to the back of her neck – grabs her arms again – and puts her right back in the jacket!
Quick cut to the crowd. They are on their feet and watching close at the heated back and forth exchanges going on.
LT again finds a way to slip out of the hold. Best goes with a pump handle and attempts to slam LT. Troy boots Mike in the gut. Headlock takeover by Mike but LT slips out and then arm-drags Best down to the mat. Best gets right back up and arm-drags LT down. LT counters with a headscissors. Best pops out. Snap suplex by Mike but Troy flips through and lands on her feet.
She gives him her best smirk.
Best flips her off.
Joe Hoffman: And here we are with another standoff.
Benny Newell: He’s just toying with her. DRINK!
The crowd rises up again in appreciation of both wrestler’s efforts.
Troy shakes her hands and keeps her eye on Mike. Mike manically paces back and forth.
Joe Hoffman: Mike is throwing everything he can at Lindsay Troy but the Queen of the Ring has kept her poise and has not allowed him to take her out of her game plan.
LT and Best approach…Eye rake by Mike!
Joe Hoffman: And there’s the shortcut.
Benny Newell: Told ya. It’s all part of the plan.
Troy stumbles back but pushes Mike away. Best forces the action and goes for an Irish whip. Troy reverses and sends Best to the ropes. She ducks the running full-weight lariat on the return and that leaves Mike off-balance and wide open. Lindsay sweeps his leg out – Mike falls to the mat. She rolls him over and hooks her leg across Mike’s neck – hooks her hands behind his head – pulls backwards with her arms – pushes forward and tries to scissors his right leg.
Joe Hoffman: Koji Clutch!
The hold isn’t cinched in enough though and Mike slips out. Troy keeps him on the mat to keep the pressure on. She grabs his bad leg and extends the knee.
Joe Hoffman: KNEEBAR!
Mike yelps in pain.
Joe Hoffman: Troy got it locked in tight!
Benny Newell: Oh shit, not again…
Catching himself right away and realizing what he’s just said, Benny quickly spins it around.
Benny Newell: …THAT’S ILLEGAL BOETTCHER! DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AND DISQUALIFY HER!
Joe Hoffman: That’s the same move she used at Refueled XII to the same knee.
Benny Newell: Once again, he kicked a fucking chair, Joe.
Mike frantically claws at the bottom rope and grabs it – Boettcher immediately calls for the break.
Cursing under her breath, Troy very reluctantly releases the hold and Best rolls out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Quick thinking by Mike Best to grab that bottom rope before Lindsay could do even more damage to his already dinged up knee.
Benny Newell: Not caused by Lindsay Troy.
Joe Hoffman: Even though Troy made it a priority to use the same exact move on the same exact knee she kneebarred two weeks ago?
Benny doesn’t respond and chugs from his bottle of Jack Daniels.
Best flexes his knee on the floor while Boettcher starts a ten count. He climbs back into the ring at the count of seven and keeps a hand on the top rope as he gathers himself.
Troy takes a step forward – Mike ducks his head under the rope and yells again at Boettcher to back her off. This time, Boettcher tells him to get back in and wrestle.
LT saunters over and gives Best a hard two-handed shove.
Then Troy gets in his grill and delivers some Grade A smack talk.
Joe Hoffman: Whoa! Lindsay Troy is trash talking Michael Lee Best!
Benny Newell: The Son of God shouldn’t have to take that shit from her!
Oh but Mike does and ducks back under the rope to respond in kind. Both go nose to nose firing off verbal bombs back and forth that has Matt Boettcher’s head going back and forth as if he was watching a tennis match.
Joe Hoffman: I said it at Refueled XII and I’ll say it again. Lindsay Troy means business and she’s not taking Mike’s shit nor is she backing down from him one bit.
Benny Newell: She’s out of line Hoffhole and she’s fucking out of her league. You don’t poke the Son of God.
Finally, Mike shoves her back.
Joe Hoffman: Ooooh. She did not like that.
So Troy comes forward again – boot to the gut by Mike.
Benny Newell: See? I told you.
Side-to-side now and slightly behind her, Mike reaches around – hooks Lindsay’s head – then drives her to the mat with a Russian legsweep. Cover.
Tw- Troy kicks out. She tries to crawl clear but Best has her legs and transitions to set her up for a Bow and Arrow. He drives his knees into her back once. Twice. Three times…
Benny Newell: HA HA! Watch my boy go! I told y-
…no. LT slides out and his knees hit nothing but mat.
Benny Newell: Oh. Dammit. Why’d she move?
Mike grabs at his right knee. Troy gets behind him – surprise schoolboy roll up.
Best kicks out and the two stand off again.
Cue the Troy smirk.
Cue the middle finger response.
Dueling ‘Son of God’ and ‘Queen of the Ring’ chants fill up the arena.
Joe Hoffman: The crowd has really gotten into the match…
Mike kicks out in frustration…
Michael Lee Best: FUCK!
…and backs away to a corner to reset again.
Joe Hoffman: …and Mike looks a little out of sorts here.
Benny Newell: Bullshit! He’s got her exactly where he wants her.
Joe Hoffman: How can you say that-
Benny Newell: IT’S ALL BEEN FORSEEN!
Best and LT circle again. Troy tries to snap off a front kick. Mike grabs the leg. LT swings her other leg up and around – Mike ducks the enzuigiri. Lindsay scoops him into a fireman’s carry – Best slips out the back door and cranks LT around so he can dropkick her to the ropes. Troy off the ropes – Best ducks the lariat. LT off the opposite ropes – Mike drops down and she passes by – stops – and pops him from behind when he stands up. Hip toss by Best drops LT. He follows with an elbow drop – Troy’s not there. She rolls back to her feet. Mike does the same.
Mike extends his arm out.
Michael Lee Best: TEST OF STRENGTH!
Joe Hoffman: He’s calling for a test of strength?
Benny Newell: He is the thinking man’s wrestler Joe.
Mike shakes the arm impatiently. LT warily steps forward. Troy extends her arm out.
Eyes on each other, waiting and watching.
Who makes the first move?
It’s Mike. His hand moves sharply for her hand – in a split second, LT uncorks a front kick and connects flush on the jaw.
Benny Newell: THAT’S NOT FAIR! This isn’t supposed to happen!
Joe Hoffman: How, Benny? How?
Benny Newell: That wasn’t part of the plan! She double-crossed him!
Joe Hoffman: Perhaps Lindsay simply outthought him?
Benny Newell: BLASPHEMY!
Troy takes Mike to a corner and rams his head into the turnbuckle. She does it a second time…
Benny Newell: Come on Boettcher, make her stop!
…and a third. Mike staggers away from the corner. Troy runs the ropes and comes back – grabs Mike -flips him and herself over – and slams Best to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Spanish Fly by Lindsay Troy! She hooks the legs.
Boettcher makes the count.
Benny Newell: NOOOO! GET UP!
Two-point-two- Best kicks out.
Joe Hoffman: That was close! Lindsay Troy nearly drove Mike Best right through the ring and came within a second of winning this match.
Benny Newell: That move was illegal!
Joe Hoffman: No it wasn’t.
Lindsay grabs Mike by the arm and neck and pulls him back to his feet.
Benny Newell: Okay, that move was illegal!
Joe Hoffman: No it wasn’t, Benny.
A front kick to the chest hits Mike like a lightning bolt and sends him reeling to the ropes.
A second kick by LT nearly sends him over the top rope.
Benny Newell: Come on! That HAS GOT to be illegal!
The third kick leaves Mike holding on desperately to the top rope to stay upright.
Joe Hoffman: Wow! Three vicious kicks by Lindsay Troy leaves Michael Lee Best’s head spinning. How the hell is he still standing?
Benny Newell: BECAUSE HE’S THE SON OF THE GOD OF HOW, HOFFMAN! AND SHE’S USING ILLEGAL MOVES!
Benny rips the bottle of Jack from the broadcast table and downs a healthy swig of the Tennessee whiskey as Troy snaps off a stinging right hand followed by a knee to the gut and a forearm to the chest.
Benny Newell: Oh shit. Lee, make her stop!
Then she fires off a series of rapid-fire knife edge chops and steps back while Mike stumbles two steps forward and then falls face first to the mat.
Benny Newell: MAKE HER STOPPPP!
Troy rolls him over and hooks the leg.
Two-point-five- FOOT ON THE ROPES!
Joe Hoffman: He just got that foot on the rope, Benny.
Boettcher holds up two fingers and Benny breathes a sigh of relief.
Benny Newell: YES! THANK LEE!
The crowd noise is deafening inside- complete with dueling chants supporting both wrestlers.
Joe Hoffman: The Allstate Arena is rocking now with ‘Son of God’ and ‘Queen of the Ring’ chants going back and forth.
Troy bounces right back up and waits. Best grasps at the ropes and tries to pull himself up.
Benny Newell: GET UP!
Joe Hoffman: Mike’s in real trouble here. He’s been wild throughout the match and leaving himself wide open and Lindsay Troy is just picking him apart.
Benny Newell: PLAN. STRATEGY. FORSEEN. He know what he’s doing.
Mike finally gets back to his feet…unsteady as hell…but back to his feet. LT runs the ropes and she charges hard towards him.
Joe Hoffman: Here she comes!
Mike looks up and sees the freight train heading right for him.
Benny Newell: DODGE MICHAEL, DODGE! DUCK! DIVE! DIP! DRINK! UH…
Benny runs out of D’s.
Benny Newell: …DODGE!
Troy launches herself at Best – one knee targeted for the chest – one knee targeted for the jaw…
Benny Newell: NONONONONONONONO…
Joe Hoffman: RAYNES OF CASTMIRE…
…but Mike’s not there.
Joe Hoffman: …MISSES!
Benny Newell: YEAHHHHHH!
At the very last possible millisecond before impact, Mike dodges certain disaster when he dips down, ducks under the ropes, dives out of the ring, and uh…dodges what would have been the final coup de grace.
And Benny takes another drink from his bottle of Jack.
Joe Hoffman: Troy’s hung up in the ropes. Michael Lee Best is lying in a heap on the floor.
More competing ‘Son of God’ and ‘Queen of the Ring’ chants echo throughout the building.
Joe Hoffman: Lindsay Troy had Michael Lee Best right where she wanted him but somehow, somehow, Best escaped.
Benny Newell: SON of GOD Hoffhole! SON of GOD! DRINK!
LT gets herself untangled from the ropes and goes back to her corner. She leans back on the turnbuckle and rests.
On the floor, Mike tries to clear the cobwebs and regroup.
He gets to a sitting position and notices a shiny object sticking partly out from under the skirt of the ring. Curious, he uses his foot to bring the object out from underneath the ring. Mike’s eyes light up.
Boettcher goes to the ropes and checks on how Best is doing.
Joe Hoffman: What is taking him so long?
Benny Newell: It’s all part of the plan. Lee’s got this.
Best suddenly jumps up on the ring apron holding up the HOFC belt for everyone to see.
Benny Newell: See? I told you.
The crowd sees Mike holding up the belt and reacts with a tremendous, thunderous roar.
Joe Hoffman: Where did the belt come from?
Benny Newell: It’s all part of the plan, Joe. I told ya, Lee’s got this.
While Troy watches and hops up and down trying to keep warm, Mike turns to the back where presumably Lee Best is busy with Scottywood working the show.
Mike pats the belt and then lays the golden strap down against the ringpost.
Joe Hoffman: More importantly, Mike’s gained valuable time to regroup while Lindsay is forced to wait in the ring.
Benny Newell: Regroup, Mike! Regroup!
Best climbs back through the ropes and the match continues.
Mike circles. Lindsay warily works side to side, not taking her eye off him for one second. She feigns a move – Mike reacts but not with an exaggerated reaction as he did earlier in the match.
They move closer. Again, both working more cautiously now.
Now they jockey for position.
Joe Hoffman: Around and around and around they go. Who will get the upper hand?
Benny Newell: Mike, of course!
And he actually does but before he can capitalize Lindsay whips him to the ropes. Best comes off the ropes at full speed and throws both feet forward. Mike connects – but Lindsay manages to turn away from him a little to take some of the sting out of the blow.
Benny Newell: YES!
Joe Hoffman: Running dropkick but Lindsay managed to deflect some of the effect.
Waistlock from behind by Mike. Lift up and over for a belly to back suplex. He scrambles over for a cover.
Tw-Lindsay kicks out and jumps right back on her feet.
She rushes in. He redirects her to the ropes. LT rebounds, leaps, and swings her leg around…
Joe Hoffman: STEP UP ENZIGUIRI!
Best topples down to the mat like a falling tree. Lindsay’s right there to cover.
Benny Newell: NOOOOO!
Tw-Mike kicks out and pushes her off of him.
He throws himself forward and tries to slap on the Fujiwara Armbar. Lindsay tries to block. Both roll around and around- Mike trying to get the submission hold – Lindsay trying to hold him off. LT reaches for the ropes and grabs it. Boettcher calls for the break.
Joe Hoffman: Both of them are looking for any way to get the advantage on the other…any opening.
Best pulls her back from the ropes. Troy responds with a back kick to the balls that doubles him over.
Joe Hoffman: WHOA!
Benny Newell: That was fucking uncalled for!
Fireman carry by Lindsay. Mike tries a couple clubbing right and left hands to shake her up. Then he flips parallel – back the mat and drives her back to headfirst to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: JESUS COMPLEX!
Benny Newell: YES! YES! YES! – (mumbles off mic) oh shit…
In his exuberance, Benny knocked the bottle of Jack off the broadcast desk and it smashes on the floor.
Mike turns over and pins her shoulders to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: For the win!
Two-point-five- Lindsay kicks and flips out of the pin.
Joe Hoffman: NO! She kicks out!
Benny Newell: COME ON BOETTCHER! COUNT FASTER!
Even the crowd can’t believe it.
LT sweeps Best’s leg and dumps him to the mat. She flips him over on his stomach – winds his right leg around hers – bridges back with one forearm draped across Mike’s throat and the other traps his arm behind his back.
Joe Hoffman: Keys to the Kingdom! She’s got him!
Benny Newell: SHIT!
Joe Hoffman: Troy has her submission finisher locked in and Mike Best is in big trouble.
Benny Newell: COME ON CHAMP!
In desperate mode now, Mike tries to use his free hand to loosen the grip Lindsay has on him. For her part, LT throws everything she has left into the submission hold.
Joe Hoffman: Is this the moment? Can she hold on?
Benny Newell: Come on Mike!
His free hand searches feverishly for the nearest rope.
Joe Hoffman: Can Mike get to the ropes?
Benny Newell: FUCK! This is bullshit!
Mike whacks Lindsay in the stomach with his free hand. She continues to hold on for dear life.
Benny Newell: Come on Matt! That’s a blatant chokehold if I’ve ever seen one!
Joe Hoffman: You’ve never seen one then.
Benny Newell: FUCK OFF HOFFHOLE! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Now he plants his hand on the mat and tries to push up.
Joe Hoffman: He’s trying to turn her over.
Benny Newell: DO IT! DO IT MIKE!
Finally, he starts to make some headway. One side of his body slightly comes off the ground.
Benny Newell: HE’S DOING IT!
The one side is now up at a twenty degree angle from the mat…twenty-five degrees…
Joe Hoffman: Does Mike have enough left in the tank to-SHE TURNED HIM OVER!
The arena erupts again. Lindsay pins his shoulders down – Boettcher slides right in.
Benny Newell: DAMMIT! NO!
TWO-POINT-NINE-SIX – Mike rolls her over.
One…he grabs her tights for extra leverage.
Joe Hoffman: HE DID IT!
Benny Newell: YESSSSSS!
The crowd explodes into a frenzy. Releasing his opponent, Mike falls flat on his back and gazes up into the rafters.
Joe Hoffman: HE’S PULLED IT OFF!
Bryan McVay: YOUR WINNER AT THIRTY-THREE MINUTES AND TWENTY-TWO SECONDS! MICHAEL LEE BEST!
Troy rolls underneath the ropes and out of the ring. She leans on the apron and tries to sort out what just happened.
Joe Hoffman: What a match! Lindsay Troy was THIS close to winning and it took everything Mike had – every bit of energy he could muster to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Benny Newell: No fucking way. Everything went exactly as planned. Mike just carried her along until it was the right time.
An incredulous Joe turns to Benny.
Joe Hoffman: He carried her for over thirty minutes?
Benny grabs a new bottle of Jack and opens it up.
Benny Newell: Who cares. He won the match. That’s all that fucking matters. DRINK!
We cut away as the action as the crowd catches their breath as we head backstage.
Still buzzing from the last match, the Chicago fans rise to watch the sudden emergence of Brian Bare from the backstage area, and he stops at the top of the entrance ramp.
Brian Bare: Ladies and gentlemen… my name is Brian Bare, and before we get to the next match, I have an exciting announcement to make!
Benny Newell: Stop interrupting the show! We’ve got two more chances to see the eMpire demolish The Industry, and you’re in the way!
Brian Bare: It is my pleasure to introduce you…
Joe Hoffman: Don’t talk over him, Benny! I’m intrigued!
The fans buzz at the word ‘introduce,’ and Bare stops to let the moment build.
Brian Bare: Or, should I say… re-introduce?
Benny Newell: Wait. What?
CUE UP: “Goodnight” by The Birthday Massacre
Benny Newell: NO!
In fact, the fans are all on their feet, cheering the emergence of former LSD Champion MJ Flair from behind the curtain. Flair holds her arms out away from her body, as if to further soak in the Chicago love, showing off her black T-shirt with the silver words ‘HIGH OCTANE FLAIR’ down the front.
“EMM JAY EFF! EMM JAY EFF!”
Joe Hoffman: We haven’t seen Flair since Rumble at the Rock, when she lost her HOW LSD Championship to Max Kael when he pinned Jack Harmen! Where’s she been? Is this her return?
Benny Newell: Does anyone care?
Brian Bare: MJ Fla–
His words stutter as the microphone is pulled out of his grip by the former Champion. Flair pats him on the shoulder good naturedly, and gives him a gentle shove away.
MJF: Ain’t nobody got time for an interview, man. Two matches ta go, and it’s the big two at that.
The fans cheer again at this statement, and MJ waits a few seconds.
MJF: Ya know, I came to High Octane Wrestling for War Games last year on what I thought was a ‘one – and – done’ deal. Wrestle five on five, ‘n call it a day.
MJ shakes her head.
Benny Newell: If only.
Joe Hoffman: Will you be quiet for two minutes?
MJF: Then I step off with the LSD Championship, and the rules change. Ya know how I feel about this sport, and I told One Percent Mike, I ain’t gonna disrespect that belt by mailin’ it back to him, and if nothin’ else, I’m all in as long as I’ve got it.
MJF: If I’d left this place after the Rumble and not come back, man… mission accomplished, ‘n my word’s my bond. But somethin’ happened that I didn’t expect… y’all made me feel at home.
She holds her arms out again, showing off her shirt.
MJF: Dead Man Max?
Her mouth curls into a smirk.
MJF: Ya took that LSD Title fair, ‘n on the level… but ya didn’t pin these shoulders for it. So whether it’s you or my boy Jack, if I can walk in the door and get handed a rematch or if I’ve gotta work my way back to it?
MJF: I’m comin’ for ya.
The fans pop huge at her quiet declaration, and MJ steps back once, and she takes a deep breath.
MJF: ELL… ESS… DEE…
And the crowd finishes her statement by shouting the word ‘LIFE!’ as loud as they can.
CUE UP: “Goodnight” by The Birthday Massacre, as MJ tosses the microphone back to Brian and walks backstage.
Joe Hoffman: The shocks just keep on coming, Benny, and we’ve got the LSD Title match coming up momentarily!
Benny Newell: Can I take a minute? I’m feeling nauseous.
Joe Hoffman: You’re hopeless.
A spoiler for the live crowd……Crash Rodriguez will be taking on the debuting Warrick Hill in a match in the #LBI Group Stage! All groups and matches to be revealed Sunday at 2pm CST!!
As MJFlair makes her way backstage the camera settles back on Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell.
Joe Hoffman: Well it’s been quite the night so far and now we find ourselves set for the last match before tonight’s main event. The LSD Championship Title Match between the challenger, “High Flyer” Jack Harmen and the LSD Champion Maximillian Wilhel-
Benny Newell: EH!? The LORD SUPREME DICTATOR… Maximillian Wilhelm Kael, say it right, Hoffman, or don’t say it at all!
Joe Hoffman: Since when have you cared exactly how Max Kael’s name is said, a few weeks back you hated him for being an exPatriate!
Benny Newell: So!? I also used to use derogatory terminology for various minority groups that I’ve found no longer acceptable, people change Hoffman! Okay!? Alright?!
Joe stares forward at the camera looking nonplus while Benny slams his HOW #97 red flask on the commentary desk like a petulant child.
Joe Hoffman: Alright, Benny, you do you. Who do you think has the advantage going into this match tonight?
Benny Newell: Well the natural instinct is to go with Max Kael, Hall of Famer AND one of the greatest LSD Champions ever.. But seeing as how he apparently died a week ago after falling into a flaming dumpster compliments of High Flyer I’m probably just going to pop a whiskey soaked tampon up my ass and enjoy the fuck out of what we are about to see.. Which very well may be High Flyer beating and pinning a week old corpse of Max Kael!
The High Octane Announcing Hall of Famer quickly pulled a tampon out of his pocket, sticking the end into the opening of his flask before turning both over to allow the cotton to absorb whatever was within, whiskey if Benny was to be believed. Joe stares in disgust before remembering they are both on a live broadcast, his eyes flashing back toward the camera.
Joe Hoffman: Wonderful analysis as always Joe. Folks, for the long time fans of High Octane Wrestling the demented antics of Maximillian Wilhelm Kael are well known, his insanity well documented both in the ring and outside. For many High Octane Wrestling fans, though, the name of High Flyer rings true outside of the island that is High Octane. Here are a few interesting statistics that you should consider going into tonight’s match.
Benny Newell: The key, Hoffman, is making sure the cotton is well saturated and, and Joe this is really really important, you have to make sure not to eat too much greasy food the days before. The anus can get slick sometimes and if you shit yourself frequently you might wash away the tampon before all the alcohol is absorbed.
Once again Joe regards Benny with a look of equal measure concern and disgust before looking toward the camera again. Benny pulls the tampon out of the bottle, the whole thing swollen and dripping with a brown fluid. He begins to unbuckle his pants as Joe lifts a hand to block Benny out, at this point in their careers Joe knew there was no point in trying to stop what was about to happen.
Joe Hoffman: Both men were born in 1976, both men started wrestling when they were 17 meaning both men enter this match with 27 years of experience under their belts. That’s a collective 54 years of wrestling that will be in that ring. Both men are wrestling Hall of Famers in their own rights. Both men are famous for their insane, devastating some might call suicidal wrestling tendencies. If you had any doubts in your mind that either Jack Harmen or Max Kael aren’t going to show up for this match with murderous intentions you’re simply lying to yourself.
Benny Newell: AND don’t forget whoever wins has MJFlair to worry about! Wasn’t that what she said earlier?
Joe goes to answer only to get an eye full of Benny’s bare ass as he shoves his whiskey tampon up his trap door. The camera manages to cut away before penetration as Bryan McVay is standing by.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the High Octane LSD Championship match!
The fans began to cheer, howling with anticipation for what had the likelihood of being the most violent and bloody spectacle of the evening. Suddenly there appear to be massive swarms of EPU guards appearing from the stage and various exit ramps of the Best Arena, all of them making their way down toward the ring.
Bryan McVay: In the interest of fairness Lee Best has decided that the EPU will be on hand to ensure there is NO interference in this LSD Championship Match.
There is a mix of cheers and boos as fans let their feelings known on the sudden arrival of likely a hundred or so masked guards.
Joe Hoffman: Lee Best has just sent a private army out here.. I can’t even count how many of these damn EPU guards are here but.. They’re practically everywhere.
Benny Newell: Oh you know Lee! He just wants.. Wants.. Oooh lordy, Joe, it’s getting mighty cold and tingly in the mouth of the grundle!
An exhausted sigh escapes Hoffman’s lips as the guards settle into the aisle and sides of the ramp as well as surrounding the ring.
“ALL ABOARD! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…”
The lights flicker and die as the ICONIC stage awash in flashing silver color. A wall of fog pours down the stage and forms a thick carpet of haze that rolls to the ring. As Ozzy’s laughter subsides and the heavy guitar riff kicks to life “High Flyer” Jack Harmon rushes through the wall of fog to an explosive reaction from the fans.
“Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne fills the arena as High Flyer throws up the Devil Horn making eye contact with one of the cameras, winking with a slight smirk on his face.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first the Challenger.. He is “HIIIIIIIGH FLYER” JAAAAAAAAAAACK HAAAAAAAAARMEN!
Practically swimming through the smoke and fog Jack Harmen makes his way down to the ring here he carefully inspects both it and the dozen or so EPU guards standing around it. He checks under the ring careful to remain out of range of any of the guards checking to see if there were any surprises hiding beneath. He locates a steel chair and stared down at it in his hands as though he were judging a piece of fruit.
Joe Hoffman: As I said earlier, folks, we are familiar with Max Kael here in HOW but as a fan of wrestling from all over the world, I personally have followed High Flyer’s career and I’m here to tell you right now if you haven’t, look him up. Do a google. If you are a fan of Max Kael and you have never heard of High Flyer, look him up. Do a google.
Benny Newell: What is this idiot doing looking at chairs?
Quite suddenly Harmen lashes out at the nearest EPU guard with the chair, the metal wrapping around the man’s head as he collapses to the ground unconscious. The other guards look amongst each other with uncertainty but do not attack High Flyer. Jack just smiles and kicks the downed guard for good measure before rolling making his way around the ring giving fans high fives as he dared the EPU to attack him.
Joe Hoffman: A thunderous chair shot from Jack Harmen to one of Lee Best’s personal security guards that might have likely left the man with a fractured skull, probably trying to figure out if Lee sent these guys out here to hurt him or if Lee’s being honest about wanting to keep interference out of this match.
Benny Newell: Sucks to suck for that guard! Haha! We haven’t even started and I’m amused!
High flyer rolls into the ring after completing a circuit around the ring, kicking the guard with the metal chair wrapped around his head before jumping up and into the ring as the fans cheer.
Joe Hoffman: Amazing reaction for High Flyer here tonight in Chicago as he is set to challenge Max Kael. This is the second match tonight between the Industry and the eMpire, starting first with of course Lindsey Troy and Mike Best before this match and then the third in the Main Event with Dan Ryan challenging ICON and World Champion Cecilworth Farthington.
Benny Newell: YEAH! Let’s talk about Mike verses Lindsey real fa-
A massive explosion rips the ICONIC stage apart as “Crazy Train” cuts out over the P.A. system. Benny and Joe both scream, ducking behind the desk as their mics go dead. Smoke and steam rise from the stage, both from the explosion and High Flyer’s entrance as a red light slowly engulfs the stage.
The loud growl of a massive diesel engine fill the arena as dark shadows fill the smoke and ruins of the stage. The growl becomes a roar as dozens of North Kaelrean soldiers, clad in black uniforms, pour through the smoke taking up positions along the shattered stage and ramp way. EPU guards in turn form a wall in front of the ring keeping any of the soldiers from reaching it. Suddenly a bright light cuts through the smoke as the roaring of an engine deafens the arena!
The North Kaelrean guards part as a massive tank smashes through part of the set, crushing metal and wood beneath it, the canon pointed down toward the ring where High Flyer and Bryan McVay are. High Flyer simply grins while McVay cowers behind him. The tank rumbles forward down the ramp toward the line of EPU guards who immediately retreat rather then face the potential of being run over. The tank comes to a crawling halt a few feet from the ring, the canon pointed directly at Jack Harmen’s chest who doesn’t seem in the least bit intimidated.
“Friends it is I, Sub-Marquis Bentley Tennyson Primrose-Farthington!”
The pitchy voice of the Herald rains down on the Best Arena as very divided series of boos and cheers greet him. It only grows louder as the hatch to the tank opens as the Herald himself pops out! He appears to be wearing a black and red North Kaelrean uniform bedazzled with various metals and bells. He carries with him a customized North Kaelrean Microphone in one hand and a North Kealrean flag in the other which he waves over his head while standing on the tank.
The Herald: Alright McVay, take a break because only the Herald introduces the Lord Supreme Dictator!
Bryan McVay doesn’t appear willing to argue the point as he nods his head and slips out of the ring as referee Joel Hortega rolls in. High Flyer’s eyes have moved away from the canon toward the Herald with a “I gotta get me one of those” looks in his eye. The ominous and dark notes of “The Dark Side Mix Emperor Palpatine Theme” by Samuel Kim brings down the mood in the Best Arena.
The Herald: Hailing from the Great Nation of North Kaelrea.. He is your Lord Supreme Commander, your LSD Champion.. Incredible and Immortal Maximillian Wilhelm Kael.. First of his Name! LOOOOONG MAY HE MAIM!
The Herald is joined by the soldiers and a smattering of fans in the final portion of his catch phrase while smoke begins the hatch of the tank he is standing on. Rising slowly out of the hatch appears Maximillian Wilhelm Kael, his head covered in a heavy black hood attached to a flowing black cape that swirls around him. Stepping onto the top of the tank Max pulls his hood back to reveal his pale bald head covering it a patchwork of scars while a burning red eye stares directly at Jack Harmen.
Some kind of rebreather mask cover his face giving him a ghastly, very Darth Malgus sort of appearance. The Herald removes his hood and cape as he appears to be wearing a customized North Kaelrean black uniform with red highlights, like something you would see out of a Star Wars movie which appears to be following a noticeable trend here.
Joe Hoffman: Folks, we’ve finally gotten sound back after that.. Well, that explosive entrance by Max Kael!
Benny Newell: The Herald is back! And what the hell does Max have on his face?!
Joe Hoffman: I’d wager to guess that after his dumpster fall that is some kind of rebreather, like, kind of like Darth Vader, you know? I can’t even hazard to guess how the hell this man is actually showing up for this match given what we saw last Reloaded.
Benny Newell: Well, I mean, it’s fucking Max Kael right?
Reaching his hand out Max is handed the LSD Championship by the Herald who pulled it up out of the thank. Max pulls the title over his shoulder as he jumps down off the tank and slowly struts up to the ring, his red eye staring up with hatred at Jack Harmen who meets his glare in kind.
Max’s eye turns over the crowd slowly as his soldiers quickly begin to fall in line behind the tank looking as though they were about to storm the ring.
Joe Hoffman: This match hasn’t even started and all hell is about to break loose! We have Max’s own personal army here those.. Those soldiers, I guess, North Kaelrean or something like that?
Benny Newell: I…Proooud to be an American… cause at least I know I’m freee…I appreciate you Lee…..
With a suddenness High Flyer charges forward and leaps over the tope rope crashing down onto Max Kael with a suicide dive catching the LSD Champion completely off guard! The music stops as the house lights come back on while Jack Harmen rains down a series of fists into the face of the Lord Supreme Dictator!
DING DING DING!
Joe Hoffman: This match is off to a hot start as Jack Harmen takes to the air and rains down some heavy offense!
Benny Newell: Oh fuck Hoffman, I just saw two of those fuckers jump out of the ring.. Oh Jesus I’m drunker way faster than I thought..
High Flyer drags Max up to his feet and smashes his head into the barricade surrounding the ring causing the champion to slump stumble backward holding his face. Harmen connects with a swift clothesline that sends Max down hard on the outside. Meanwhile Hortega scrambles out of the ring and grabs the LSD championship that was knocked off Max’s shoulder, delivering it to the time keeper.
Joe Hoffman: This is what High Flyer is going to need to do if he wants to keep ahead of Max Kael in this match, get that offensive in quick, fast and relentless!
Benny Newell: Great victory advice, great fucking advice. Like for actual sex. Quick, fast and relentless! Even if you have a tiny dick that’s great advice.
Keeping the offensive aggressive Harmen drags Max up to his feet before slamming him back first into the side of the ring, driving his shoulder into Max’s gut several times before whipping him into the barricade again. Max slumps against it, breathing hard as he holds his side defenseless as Harmen hammers him with a series of stiff kicks to his side.
Harmen reaches out into the crowd and grabs a steel chair, folding it and holding it above his head as the crowd cheers him on! He swings it down toward Max’s head looking to brain him just as he had brained the EPU guard earlier!
Max manages to dodge out of the way at the last moment, the steel meeting the metal barricade as the fans let out a collective “Ooooo!”. Max finallys begins to administer a little punishment of his own as he sends a few black gloved hands into High Flyer’s side before he kicks the back of Harmen’s left knee dropping the man into a kneeling position, the chair clattering to his side. Grabbing a full head of hair Max drags Harmen to his feet and hurls him into the ring, rolling in behind him.
Joe Hoffman: Max really dodged a bullet there with that chair shot, if that had connected it’s very possible that High Flyer would have been that much closer to winning this LSD title match!
Benny Newell: Never.. Never had a chance in the world! ..okay. Butt Whiskey is.. Making me feel like I’ll support that fuckhead Max Kael in this match.. Yeah. Okay.. woo!
Using his superior size and strength Max bullies Jack to his feet and whips him hard into the turnbuckle loud enough to cause the ring to shake. Harmen collapses to the ground holding his back as the black uniformed Max Kael stalks forward with murderous intent. The Lord Supreme Dictator yanks Jack up off the mat and slams him hard into the turnbuckle, trapping him in place with a series of back elbows to the side of High Flyer’s head.
Max tosses his opponent to the mat and lazily draps himself across High Flyer’s shoulders as Hortega drops down for a pin!
Joe Hoffman: Not even a one count, Max more playing psychological games with Jack Harmen I think than expecting an actual pinfall there.
Benny Newell: I thought he might get the three count there myself!
Joe Hoffman: Really?
Benny Newell: Who knows, Hoffman, I’m Butt Drunk right now!
Max slithers up off the mat and slowly circles Harmen who is himself a little slow in getting up to his feet. As he does Max rushes in behind him looking to lock him into some kind of full nelson only to have High Flyer pull his arms down and counter, slipping behind Max with a roll up!
The LSD Champion is quick to kick out, rolling over onto his back and then to his feet as he is met with a sharp clothesline from Harmen that sends him back down hard! High Flyer steps up into the near by ropes and turns hitting a spinning kick right to the side of Max Kael’s head!
Max is caught completely off guard as he staggers in place, his red eye looking distant while he slowly dropped to a knee.
Joe Hoffman: Great strike there by High Flyer who keeps pushing back at Max with his speed and agility! While Max holds the height and weight advantage Jack Harmen is much leaner, faster and has an explosive capacity for violence!
Benny Newell: Yeah but all Max has to do, Hoffman, is get his hands on Harmen! Max is like three times stronger and so his moves are.. Like.. six? Six times more powerful?
Joe Hoffman: What… what on earth are you talking about?
Benny Newell: Butt Drunk! DRINK!
Benny slams back a shot of his flask as Jack Harmen he lines up another kick..
Harmen’s thunderous kick catches Max once again in the side of his head as he slumps forward onto the apron, his red eye closes as his legs twitch! Jack Harmen drops down for a cover..
Max manages to twist his body to throw his shoulder up as Harmen pulls himself back up to his feet. Meanwhile on the outside of the ring the EPU seem to be moving back down toward the ring, more of them pouring in from the crowd. Max’s own North Kaelrean forces seem to be swelling up from the hole left in the stage by Max’s tank.
Joe Hoffman: With all the action going on in the ring I have to tell you folks at home that things are starting to look like they might take a volatile spill outside the ring! We have EPU Guards, I don’t know maybe 80? 100? 120? Somewhere in that range that they are all coming down to the ring from the crowd.
Benny Newell: Yeah?! Well they’re probably just reacting to the North Kaelrean soldiers who are also apparently filing into the Best Arena! Do these people have tickets?! Are we missing out in sales right now!?
Joe Hoffman: Maybe you want to ask them, Benny?
Benny Newell: ..uh.. Uh.. DRINK!
Back in the ring High Flyer hoists Max up to his feet and sends a hard slap across his face though it doesn’t seem to hurt Max so much as to knock some sense of awareness back into him. His burning red eye turns toward Jack Harmen before he can be heard demanding that Harmen hit him again.
Another hard slap across Max’s face doesn’t seem to phase the LSD Champion as he nods his head and steps closer to High Flyer pointing at his face.
Joe Hoffman: Max goading High Flyer into striking him right now which, again trying to work those mind games against the veteran Jack Harmen, I’m not sure this is the way to go.
Benny Newell: Max Kael is a genius! His.. his followers are idiots but he’s a genius, he does everything for a reason, Joe, For A Reason!
No sooner does Benny finish than Jack Harmen sends a boot to Max’s midsection before hitting the Cold Snow! Max’s head is driven into the mat as he goes stiff before crumpling to the mat!
Joe Hoffman: COLD SNOW DDT OUT OF NOWHERE! Jack Harmen just drilled the LSD Champion down right in the middle of the ring! This could be it!
Benny Newell: What the FUCK MAX?!
Harmen quickly hooks the leg as Hortega drops down for the pin!
Harmen doesn’t relent though for as soon as Max kicks out High Flyer is already onto his next plan. Having bought himself a little time Jack Harmen slides out of the ring and once again goes beneath the ring looking for the fabled “loot” that exists beneath a ring. He appears holding a club.. THE club. The fans errupt as the LSD match moves out of the fun wrestling stage and into the career ending brutality phase.
Joe Hoffman: Jack Harmen with a near pinfall, he was so close to the LSD Championship but Max is one of the toughest wrestlers ever in High Octane Wrestling. But that doesn’t mean that High Flyer can’t meet that threshold with his own diverse knowledge of violence
Benny Newell: Well no shit, the man just grabbed a bat, this ain’t rocket surgery, Hoffman! Even Max Kael can’t survive being beat with a bat.. Or a club or whatever! GET UP MAX! Look, I’ll break even with you Hoffman, I might have, in a drunken moment, put money on Max Kael to win..like maybe a mortgage, and I can’t afford for him to lose.
Joe Hoffman: Oh Benny.. Oh Benny.
Jack slides back into the ring as Max slowly stirs grasping his head. Harmen stalks Max with a smile on his face twirling the bat in his hand as he clearly enjoys the act of stalking his prey. The Herald, still standing on the tank screams at Max to look behind him which only causes the LSD Champion to strain harder to understand what his young ward is saying.
Joe Hoffman: OH GOD! High Flyer just swung for home base and managed to catch Max Kael between his shoulder blades with that damn Cheaters Club Club!
Benny Newell: Are.. are you sure it’s not the Kheaters Klub Klub?
Joe Hoffman:..I don’t get it?
Benny Newell: Little Industry joke, Hoffman, never you mind it!
Max lets out a scream and collapses to the ground in the ring, twisting and turning. He quickly rolls out of the ring and falls to his knees,his back arched in pain. High Flyer quickly slides out of the ring and begins measuring Max up once again. This time it appears that High Flyer is aiming for Max’s head as he points the club toward the back of Max’s head and starts to step forward.
Joe Hoffman: High Flyer is going to try and kill Max Kael here I think!
Benny Newell: Oh f uck! NO! NO!
High Flyer swings the club toward Max’s head however though at the last moment Max manages to duck his head down, avoiding the blow before scrambling on his hands and knees away from High Flyer frantically searching beneath the ring for something. Jack spins on his heel, spying Max crawling away, and once again steps forward ready to swing down at Max once again!
From beneath the ring Max yanks a glass light tube, swinging it up as Jack slashes down with his club. The two connect causing the tube to shatter loudly showering both men in glass, Jack’s club striking the ground next to Max’s head. The LSD champion quickly lunches forward jamming the broken light tube he was still holding onto into Jack’s leg!
Joe Hoffman: Max Kael just stabbed Jack Harmen in the leg I think after he avoided that near fatal shot from Harmen!
Benny Newell: MAX LIVES! DRINK!
Harmen lets out an audible roar, dropping the club as he clutched his leg which presently had a broken light tube sticking out of it, thick red blood oozing down the jagged glass and staining his green tights. The dickhead that he is Max takes that moment to kick the broken end in Jack’s leg shattering what remained and driving some of the glass further into Harmen’s appendage!
The retaliation from High Flyer was sudden and brutal. With his good leg he snapped a wicked kick across Max Kael’s lower face cracking the mask he was wearing as the rest of Max’s body turned to jelly. His body slumped to the ground as High Flyer staggered away examining the glass in his leg.
Joe Hoffman: A desperation move from both of these men, clearly no mercy is being saved here. Max managed to jam that broken glass into Jack’s leg but High Flyer answered with that unprotected kick to the teeth to the champion’s face. I’d say it might have even managed to rattle those metal teeth of Max Kael, if they are still behind that mask that is.
Benny Newell: You can’t rattle metal teeth! Everybody knows that! If James Bond couldn’t rattle Jaw’s teeth there ain’t no way in hell that High Flyer is rattling Max Kael’s teeth! You are really making my mortgage situation seem really dire right now Hoffman! Stop it!
Back ringside Max slowly starts to stir from the ground, his red eye scanning his surroundings in a blurry haze. Looking up from his wound High Flyer allows smirk to appear before charging forward! He drives his leg up into Max’s face, spring boarding off Max’s knee, the bloody and glass filled crashing into Max’s own face!
Joe Hoffman: Jesus Christ, Benny, he used his own wound as a weapon against Max Kael! That glass that Max jammed into High Flyer’s wound has returned to bite Max right in the ass!
Benny Newell: NO! WHAT IDIOT DOES THAT?!
High Flyer hobbles around the ring as the fans begin to chant “YOU SICK FUCK”. Max, rolling around on the ground, appears to have begun bleeding himself, several lacerations from the broken glass in High Flyer’s wound.
Benny Newell: Oh hope either of these men have blood born diseases cause I think they both just basically had blood sex, Hoffman!
Joe Hoffman: ..yeah.. I.. yeah I guess that’s a way of putting it. A gross way of putting it.
Seeing their Lord Supreme Dictator downed and bloodied the soldiers on the ramp begin to surge forward pulling out riot batons as they did so. The EPU answer in kind moving forward as they jump the ring barricade, moving past High Flyer and Max Kael as they did so. High Flyer, not sure what is happening, sends a stiff two kicks to one of the EPU guards chest and head knocking him to the ground though he ceases his attack once the other guards ignore the situation the move toward the stage where the Soldiers are coming from.
Joe Hoffman: Folks, I don’t know for sure but it looks like.. It looks like things are coming to a head outside the ring here as the EPU and the North Kaelrean Soldiers are on a collision course if things don’t calm down!
Benny Newell: The invasion! IT’S STARTED HOFFMAN!
It is on the ramp to the ring, around the tank Max Kael had driven into the EPU and the North Kaelrean Soldiers finally run into each other, fists, feet and batons swinging wildly as the Herald prances above the fray on the top of the tank waving the North Kaelrean flag. The fans went wild as the two forces duke it out, more joining in as they pour in from all directions.
Joe Hoffman: Benny they are everywhere! The fighting is breaking out all across the arena! Look, Benny, it’s spreading up into the stands! They’re all around us fighting!
Benny Newell: Where is Christopher America when you need him!?
And Joe is right, North Kaelrean Soldiers clash with EPU all across the arena, fighting up into the stands and aisle ways! The sense of violence spreads to parts of the crowds where Max Kael fans begin clashing with High Flyer fans!
Joe Hoffman: Somebody has to stop this insanity Benny! This is out of control!
Benny Newell: Lee is going to be fucking furious! DRINK! DRIIIINK!
As the chaos continues all across the Best Arena back in the ring High Flyer has been busy filling the ring with tables, chairs, clubs, chains and other assorted instruments of destruction, blood flowing freely from his leg. Max Kael can be seen still on the outside slowly crawling through the brawl happening around him, attempting to make his way out of harm’s way, blood dripping from his face.
Jack Harman spots him before he is able to get far from inside the ring, his expression hardening as he seems to be mulling things over. Suddenly he throws himself into the ropes bouncing off them before propelling himself forward with great force, his eyes on Max Kael. Living up to his name he flies through the top and middle rope, his body like an arrow fired straight into the back of a crawling Max Kael, Jack driving his forearm into the base of Max Kael’s skull, both men landing in a heap on the ground. Jack Harmen jumps up to his feet and throws a pair of Devils Horns into the air as the crowd roars with applause!
Joe Hoffman: A beautiful flying forearm by High Flyer straight into the back of Max Kael’s head! Max was heading for the hills but Jack Harmen made him pay for that decision!
Benny Newell: Come on Max! GET BACK ON THE OFFENSIVE!
High Flyer grabs Max up from the floor and rolls him back into the ring, sliding under the ropes and continuing his offensive by hammering down on Max with a series of furious kicks. He takes a moment to breath in the chaos erupting around him, North Kaelrean Soldiers clashing with masked EPU guards as pockets of fans fought and rioted. A smile stretches across his face as he looks down at Max, the bloodied champion once again crawling away from High Flyer.
Joe Hoffman: Max is in a bad way here and I think, perhaps just in instinct, to be crawling away from High Flyer. He has lost all control of this match, perhaps in underestimating High Flyer’s own resilience!
Benny Hoffman: You mean to say that Max was being an idiot! And I agree, Max was a fucking idiot! DRINK! Fuck my god damn fucking… house…fuck.
The sobbing of Benny Hoffman is a sad moment for everyone as in the ring High Flyer drops an elbow across Max’s back where he had hit him with the bat earlier in the match causing Max to cry out in pain, his voice almost robotic from behind the mask he was wearing. Without missing a beat High Flyer flipped up onto his feet and pulled Max up by his waist before getting a release German Suplex sending Max tumbling over heels into a table!
The sound of the table snapping as the back of Max’s head breaks through echoes around the arena before the rest of the table shatters into an explosion of wood and metal.
Joe Hoffman: Dear GOD! Jack.. High Flyer has just driven the back of Max Kael’s head through a table! His body has gone limp! He might have paralyzed him!
Benny Newell: NOooOO! Fuck DRIIIIKKKnkddriink…
Wasting no time Jack Harmen pushes his advantage, pulling the LSD Champion out of the rubble and into the center of the ring rolling Max onto his chest..
Joe Hoffman: DRAGON SLEEP! Or Dragon SLEEP! To be correct! In the center of the ring!
Benny Newell: Oooh noo Max you piece of shit! You gigantic while of literal pig shits! You ruined my life, Max Kael! I WILL ALWAYS HAAATE YOU!
Jack wrenches back on Max’s head as the Lord Supreme Dictator howls in pain, his bloodied face turning bright red while. His legs spasmed in agony as he lay helpless in the center of the ring. Hortega dropped to his knees to check the hold and ask if Max wished to submit.
Joe Hoffman: Harman has Max’s head torqued back tearing and ripping at his neck and shoulders! He’s torturing him there in the center of the ring, I have to think that this is just one of those, it’s a matter of time situations! There is no way Max gets out of this, that I see.
Benny Newell: And whose fault is that, Hoffman? Whose fucking fault is that? Max Kael’s, that’s fucking who! KILL HIM JACK HARMEN! DRINK!
High Flyer’s eyes are wild with excitement, high on the thrill of violence as he yanks back Max’s head, his robotic screams hissing out of the cracked rebreather mask. Reaching up Harmen grasped the mask on Max’s face, the fingers digging into Max’s cheek to get some perches on it. Max’s own red eye widened as he realized what Jack was attempting to do!
Joe Hoffman: He’s gonna tear off that mask! He’s gonna expose Max’s damaged lungs and throat to the air!
Benny Newell: Good! I hope it kills him! I hope he dies! DIE MAX KAEL! DIE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING PIG SUCKING NORTH KAELREA!
As Max struggles High Flyer finally manages to get a firm grip on the mask yanking on it hard! A hideous scream escapes the champions lips as Jack’s expression only grows more frenzied. He pulls down hard again, this time the mask pulling a little bit away from Max’s face with a loud popping sound! Blood drips down Max’s face and over High Flyer’s hand as he gives it one last mighty pull tearing it away from Max’s face!
Joe Hoffman: OH NO! OH JESUS NO!
Benny Hoffman: HOLY FUCKING SHIT SCOTT WOODSON WAS RIGHT! It’s.. It’s.. IT’S MECA-KAEL!!!
High Flyer rips the mask away to reveal Max’s sharpened metal teeth as well as the entire lower part of Max’s chin to be apparently made of metal set into raw, burnt flesh that oozed red puss, an unhealthy looking fusion of metal and meat. Max begins to cough up blood, splattering across High Flyer’s arms and into Joel Hortega’s face causing the Spanish referee to throw up.
Joe Hoffman: People are rioting, we’ve got two armies out there beating the hell out of each other, we’ve got a referee vomiting in the ring and Max Kael appears to be a God Damned Cyborg about to be broken in half by High Flyer in the middle of a High Octane Ring, folks, what in the world is happening right now!?
Benny Newell: Oh I think my drinking problem is going to be become a drinking solution in 2020, we’re all gonna die.
His teeth exposed Max musters the last bits of strength and pulls High Flyer’s arm down into his mouth where he sinks in his sharpened metal teeth! As blood begins to run down Max’s lips Harmen lets out a surprised scream before releasing the hold. As he does so Max lets go of his arm and both men clatter to the ground.
Joe Hoffman: Max just bit Jack Harmen out of desperation or instinct, or maybe both causing him to break the hold, smartly I might add!
Benny Newell: A blind nut finds a squirrel now and again, Hoffman!
Joe Hoffman: It’s a blind squirrel finds a nut now and again.
Benny Newell: Listen, Joe, remember when I shoved a tampon full of alcohol up my ass?
Joe Hoffman: Right. Both men in the ring hurting but honestly, if I had to go with points right now Jack Harmen holds a very safe lead.
Dragging himself up from some nearby ropes Max stares out over the crowd with his red eye, his face crimson from blood while his metal teeth and chin glimmer under the house lights giving him a grotesque appearance.
Harmen examined his arm where Max had bitten him, small puncture wounds in a circle that dripped crimson. Like his leg they were a hindrance but not overly serious and so he brushed them off and stalked after more seriously injured Max Kael. Pulling him away from the ropes High Flyer measured Max up..
A scintillating kick struck Max hard against his chest knocking him back a few paces before he held firm, his eye lifting to glare across the ring at High Flyer. Jack meets his glare and invites Max back into the center of the ring.
Benny Newell: What the fuck is this shit?
Joe Hoffman: Both of these men delight in the delivery of pain, Benny, High Flyer wants Max to hurt him because he wants to see if he can take everything Max has! This is about.. A weird kind of violent respect Benny!
Benny Newell:.. This is an LSD match, there isn’t any respect! Idiots! DRINK!
Max steps forward, head down with his shoulders squared as he met head on with High Flyer!
Max sends a stiff forearm straight into the jaw of High Flyer staggering the smaller man. Still, within moments High Flyer steps back toward Max!
Another snap kick strikes Max in the chest driving him back as the fans let lose a collective “OOOOO!”
Max turns and falls to a knee as he holds his chest and coughs loudly through his bloodied metal teeth.
Just as suddenly he turns as mashes his forearm into High Flyer’s chest to a collective “AAAAAA!”
A super kick from High Flyer catches Max’s metal chin causing him to go rigid as though he had been hit with a bolt of lightning, while the crowd goes “OOOOO!”
A Mongolian Chop crashes down on Jack Harmen’s shoulders as he sinks to a knee to a collective “AAAAAA”.
High Flyer darks up to his feet only to find Max waiting for him as he hits him with a back fist that spins Harmen around on his heels! Max steps back, spins..
Joe Hoffman: ARKHAM HAMMER! Max just nailed High Flyer with the Arkham Hammer flattening him!
Benny Newell: ..wait what?! Max is winning again!? GO! MAX PIN THAT ASSHOLE! KILL HIM!
Max stood over High Flyer in a daze as he looked down at his opponent. Reaching down Max picked him up slowly by his tights..
Benny Newell: DONKEY PUNCH! A MOTHER FUCKING DONKEY PUNK! CLASSIC MAX! OH SHIT!
Max close fists punches High Flyer in the back of the head, the same spot he had struck him with the Arkham Hammer laying High Flyer out. Max drops down and grabs both legs, rolling High Flyer up!
Joe Hoffman: Max Kael might have it here!
Benny Newell: HELLO BIG MONEY!
Hortega drops into position…
Joe Hoffman: High Flyer kicks out! High Flyer kicks out!
Benny Newell: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! MEXICAN SECONDS ARE SLOWER! IN AMERICAN SECONDS MAX WON AND I’M MIDDLE CLASS FINALLY!
Max Kael stares off into space while he lays on top of High Flyer after his kick out looking exhausted. The burnt and charred upper lip of Max’s mouth twitches into what you might imagine was supposed to be a sneer with the lower lip. Max pulls High Flyer’s lifeless body up onto a table near a turnbuckle. Slowly, he moves toward the corner and climbs to the top rope as the crowd begins to rumble. Max stands high and looks down at Jack Harmen laid out on the table before he leaps forward!
Joe Hoffman: Max Kael just went for a flying headbutt but High Flyer managed to get out of the way just in the nick of time!
Benny Newell: NOOO! DAMN IT MAX YOU IDIOT!
Max’s body lay in yet another pile of broken wood and metal that had previously been a table. High Flyer had rolled to the ropes and was clutching his head, his wild expression staring at the remains of Max Kael and the table. He slipped out of the ring and disappeared beneath it once again as Max started to move around in the rubble.
Joe Hoffman: What on earth is he thinking now?! What else does Jack Harmen have down under the ring?
Benny Newell: Why is there always so much stuff under the ring!? DRINK!
High Flyer appears again this time with a large, long glass mirror about five feet long and two foot wide! The crowd lets out a collective “OOOOOO” when they see it and begin to cheer Jack Harmen along in his violent efforts. Sliding into the ring with the glass mirror Harmen sets it aside and grabs a nearby steel chair throwing it directly into the face of the slowly stirring Max Kael, the clang of it echoing around the arena!
Joe Hoffman: I hope the rest of Max Kael’s head is made out of metal because he just got brained with that damn chair!
Benny Newell: And this idiot isn’t going to the pin, I mean, thank fucking god for me, right? Jesus.. Fucking christ. DRINK!
Using two other chairs in the ring Max sets up a glass table of sorts using the mirror as he throws up the Devils Horns once again to a cheering crowd however he waves his finger and points back under the ring once again. Slipping out of the ring High Flyer disappeared once again.
Joe Hoffman: What.. What else could he possibly have under there? What more can he add to this whole thing?!
Benny Newell: DRINK! JUST DRINK!
High flyer returns into the ring holding a gas canister and what looks like a lighter as the fans once again erupt in excitement. He pours the gas over the mirror and turns, tossing some of the gas on Max himself as he coughs and chokes on it. Turning back toward the mirror High Flyer ignites the mirror which explodes to life with bright red flames as the crowd “Oooooos!”
Joe Hoffman: He’s gonna burn Max Kael! He’s gonna burn him alive in the ring Benny!
Benny Newell: FUCK MAX KAEL! YOU RUINED MY LIFE! BURN! BURN MOTHER FUCKER! DRINK!
The fighting all around the arena suddenly stops as fire fills a portion of the ring! The North Kaelrean Soldiers, sensing their master in danger, begin making a made dash toward the ring while the EPU do their best to keep them away! Laughing maniacally in the ring High Flyer grabs Max up and drags him toward the flaming mirror table!
Joe Hoffman: High Flyer has both of Max’s arms hooked.. Could he be going for a Hypothermia here?! Through that death trap he has created?!
Benny Newell: KILL HIM! DO IT COWARD!
Jack Harmen hoists Max up into the air and for a second everything seems to stop. Everyone sucks in a breath of air before both men fall downward toward the flaming mirror table..
Both men crash down through the flaming glass though it is mostly Max’s head that leads the charge as his own weight drives him through it. Flame and glass explode from the sight of impact as both men are swallowed in a ball of flames!
Joe Hoffman: HE JUST KILLED MAX KAEL.. and maybe himself!
Benny Newell: MYYY LIIIIIFFFEEE FFFUYCK YOU MAX KAEL!
The flames die down though Max in particular screams and rolls in the ring as the flames are encouraged to continue by the fuel Jack had poured onto him. As he rolls the flames slowly die and he comes to a lifeless stop near the ropes, his body smoking. Exhaustion and grim determination appear on Jack Harmen’s face as he limps toward Max and drops down into a cover, Hortega sliding into position.
Joe Hoffman: Will this finally be over!?
Benny Newell: Fucking useless Max Kael!
Joe Hoffman: HE DID IT! HE DI.. wait no! No!
Benny Newell: OH JESUS I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK!
Hortega points to Max’s boot which is draped over the lower rope. Furious Ford climbs to his feet in a rage. His expression is twisted as frustration takes hold.
Joe Hoffman: Max Kael manages to get the boot on the rope and this match continues folks! That is great ring awareness by Max Kael and a good call by Hortega, it was literally all Max could do to stay in this match!
Reaching down High Flyer drags Max into the center of the ring and drops for a cover once again!
Joe Hoffman: A forceful kick out there by Max Kael who still has a little left in this tank but it’s exactly at this point that High Flyer needs to keep calm and continue to punish Max.
Benny Newell: No shit really? I didn’t know nobody here ever watched fucking wrestling, Hoffman! Drink! My life is still not necessarily ruined!
Harmen climbs back up to his feet, his hands on his hips as his arm and leg are both stained with dried blood from their earlier wounds. Running his hands through his hair Harmen’s face brightens once again. Turning he sees a club laying in the ring that he had thrown in earlier. He sauntered over to it and reaches down, pulling it up as he turns to stare at Max once again.
Outside the ring the EPU is succeeding in driving back the North Kaelrean forces, their strength linked, perhaps, to their leader who lay motionless in the center of the ring, not defeated by far from victory at this point. Even the riots in the crowd have slowly died down with most of the offenders now unconcious to beaten into submission
Joe Hoffman: What is High Flyer thinking right now do you think Benny?
Benny Newell: If I were High Flyer I’d just look into beating Max to death with a weapon which is exactly what that the whiskey tampon part of me says is the best option, Hoffman. My life is fucked again. Fuck you Max Kael.
Max begins to twitch again, rolling onto his side as he reaches out toward the ropes with a distant, near unconscious glaze covering his eyes! His back is burnt and bloodied with broken mirror shards covering his shoulders. High Flyer stands over the pathetic crawling Max and lifts the club over his head as someone slips into the ring behind him.
High Flyer smirks, well aware of how the eMpire operates and readies the club in his hand as he pulls it further over his head..
Spinning High Flyer swings the club full force connecting with beat and bone which crunch and crack beneath his swing. In a mad rage High Flyer lifts the club over his head and swings it down again with another sickening crunch followed by another as he vents all his rage and frustration over the last few months of being cheated, blind rage guiding his hand.
Joe Hoffman:..he’s dead! He’s got to be dead!
Benny Newell: Oh god I’m gonna..-
The sound of Benny vomiting fills the airwaves as High Flyer comes out of his haze to realize the Herald’s bloodied broken body lay at his feet, his head effectively caved in with multiple strikes. Jack Harmen stares down at the dead Herald for a moment as a distant look of sadness cross his face..
A blinding flash of pain snaps Jack out of his reflective moment as Max Kael, snarling and roaring, leaps onto his back, biting and tearing at the side of High Flyer’s head and neck!
Joe Hoffman: Max Kael is like an animal in there tearing at High Flyer’s face! Oh god there is blood everywhereI WE NEED TO STOP THIS! This is getting out of control!
Benny Newell: THE HERALD! NOOOO! NOT BARON..TIT..COCKA.. GET HIM MAX! I’M STILL IN THE GAME HOFFMAN!
Jack manages to tear himself out of the clutches of Max Kael, stumbling away as blood pours out of his neck and ear where Max had latched! A savage Kael charges over the Herald’s body slamming into Harmen with a brutal savagery, Max’s red eye having turned into a cold black dot in a sea of white.
Grabbing Harmen by the neck Max roars into his face before he pulls his head back..
Max slams his metal eyepatch directly into Harman’s face.
Again Max drives his metal eye patch into Harmen’s face as blood spurts out of the challengers nose.
A third time as a tear opens across the bridge of High Flyer’s nose as blood stains the metal eyepatch.
A four and final headbutt breaks High Flyer’s nose and bursts a blood vessel in his left eye! Both men sink to their knees and stare at each other.
Joe Hoffman:My.. GOD.. that was as savage an exchange as we have ever seen using multiple Brow Beaters in a row.. And some how.. SOME HOW both of these men are not dead or at the very least laid out on the ground..
Benny Newell:..are we going to ignore the dead body in the ring, Hoffman!?
High Flyer smiles a bloodied smile, one of his front teeth chipped from Max’s hammering Brow Beaters. Max’s upper lip pulled up, again probably into a sneer though it was difficult to see without a lower lip.
In a final act of defiance High Flyer spat into the face of Max Kael and threw up the devils horn. Max’s eye widened in surprise as he cocked his head at the man before wrapping both his arms around High Flyer’s neck..
The Lord Supreme Dictator pulled High Flyer’s head toward him as he slammed his head down as hard as he could on High Flyer’s face. A small explosion of blood, sweat and tears splattered across Max Kael’s charred uniform as High Flyer’s body slumped against his own.
Joe Hoffman: One Final BROW BEATER.. Horrific, Benny..I would call this match horrific. If there is any mercy in the world.. This match should end now..
Max blinks as his eye returns to red, exhaustion taking hold as he slumps forward, falling ontop of High Flyer as Hortega drops for the count!
DING DING DING!
Bryan McVay: WINNER OF THIS MATCH BY PINFALL.. MAXIMILLIAN WILHELM KAAAAEEEELLL!!!
“The Dark Side Mix Emperor Palpatine Theme” by Samuel Kim begins to play over the PA as Hortega retrieves the LSD Championship. Max continues to lay relatively motionless in the ring on top of High Flyer.
Joe Hoffman: He did it, he had to walk through hell and High Flyer did not make it easy for him.. But Max Kael won.
Benny Newell: THANK FUCKING GOD! I LOVE MAX KAEL! YES! YESS!
Joe Hoffman: It was no easy feat and I.. I am not sure either of these men is going to be 100% any time soon.. Now Max Kael has to set his sights on the LBI AND of course, MJF issuing that threat before the match.. 2020 starts out with a win for Max Kael but again.. At what cost?
There is a mix of cheers and boos from the fans on the divided Max Kael. Both men have not moved since the bell and Hortega is now attempting to pull Max Kael up. From the back several medics run down and begin examining both men as well as the motionless body of the Herald who is now in a pool of blood. It seems like all of the EPU and North Kaelreason Soldiers have also been driven away.
Joe Hoffman: We have our medical staff attending to both men right now as w—–
Suddenly a Gregorian Chant hits. Lights go out. A spotlight at the top of the ramp reveals a slight figure walking to the ring, their heeled boots clacking over the broken and destroyed stage area. Dressed from head to toe in tight, black leather, a hooded red & gold cape hangs about the frame. When the person nears the ringside area, they remove the hood to reveal an unknown, exotic looking woman with white, flowing hair tinged in red at the tips and a myriad of piercings on her face (lips, eyebrow, nose, ears). She smirks & then gestures to the fallen Maximillian just as the lights come up.
Standing over both Max and Harmen is a 7 foot, olive-skinned form whose face is hidden by a mask. The arms outstretch to form a cross, the man poses for a moment before he picks Max up in crucifix powerbomb position, lifting him high up over his shoulders before tossing him over the top rope where he comes down hard smashing through the remnants of a table that had been shoved out of the ring by Hortega earlier in the match!
Flyer is recovering, crawling over toward Deacon. He starts to paw at the man’s leg, his eyes wide as if he’s seen a ghost. The man, however, doesn’t glance behind him to see who it is or look down toward Flyer. It’s as if Flyer is not even there.
Flyer: “Deacon? Is that you?”
Flyer pulls himself to his feet. The Man turns toward the woman, still outside the ring, his head moving past Flyer but not even looking down to see him.
The Man steps toward the ropes. Flyer follows, grabbing the masked man’s shoulder.
The Man’s head snaps, the soulless eyes of the mask seeming to notice Flyer for the first time. Flyer takes a startled step back, then shakes his head confusingly, a small smile growing.
The man’s giant right hand grabs High Flyer’s throat, lifts him up, and chokeslams him to the floor below as he lands on top of Max Kael, both men left a blood mess!
Joe Hoffman: WHO THE HELL IS THIS?! Who are these people! They just destroyed Max Kael and High Flyer after one hellacious match! Where is the EPU now!? HUH LEE?!
Benny Newell: I know it’s sad but I just won a whole lot of money off Max Kael so really, I’ve stop caring until my next bad decision!
We cut away to our final advert of the evening as the Chicago fans are buzzing over Deacon’s arrival here in HOW.
The #HOR returns Sunday Night to break down #ICONIC and the #LBI Groups and Schedule
And now, to break away from the PPV you’ve forked over your cash for…
The feeed darkens as it transitions, and lingers just long enough to be noticeable.
An orchestral arrangement of piano and strings picks up as the image comes to focus on the HOV.
The frame is filled around the edges with the telltale grey of some arena hallway, somewhere. What’s more particular is the line of young, impressionable women that goes just out of focus. God bless college kids that need money but don’t know their value yet.
It’s about now that even those who aren’t Kiss fans might recognize Beth as the backing track.
Each woman is dressed in one of a series of t-shirts that have been cut and tied to accentuate their personalities. I mean, two of ‘em have even cut and tied the sleeves into tassels. And they begin walking toward the camera in some kind of li-fi fashion show.
Our closest is wearing a loud orange on red on teal monstrosity. The neon is in keeping with an unreleased AWC branded garb, reading “Fortune Favors the Brave” with a spartan helmet beneath. She smiles and walks stage left.
Next to pose was a perfectly respectable Japanese-American girl that none of you are going to go to Reddit to look up her name. She’s covered in the black backed, white script over red ampersand GCW classic. Red & Ted.
Pout, stage right.
An All-American sweetheart sashays her way to the foreground. Above the Daisy Dukes, her top, too, is black, with the NSFW script, “Big Red Hardon.” It was an awkward period for everyone involved, a short chapter in GCW history.
Tilt head, play with hair and find your way to the left.
The second-coming of Tyra Banks, if you kinda squint, is contender number four. First a confusing angry/sexy look to laughing, she’s wearing the “Bottoms Up/Standards Down.”
Twirl to the right.
A redhead without freckles, so it’s either a bottle job, or the war paint is doing a job. Hips dance side to side, flaunting, wearing the grey with white script, “Your Willing Villain.”
Dirty look, and, you guessed it, to the left.
Ravenhaired and alabaster skinned, Miss No. 6 is wearing a very similar “Red & Ted” tee, this time, with the colours inversed: white ampersand and red font. Consistent for years to follow, just like those hips weren’t lying.
Stance, spin, reverse stance, and this is the first long look at the Trojan Brand logo on back. You probably caught glimpses of it previous. 20 year sponsorship deal, and we don’t who made out worse on that deal.
Chestnut brown hair blends into the caramel backed tee. Those brown eyes lock on to the lens and never break. The shirt has a picture of a sassy teddy bear and stylized caramel-with-white-outline script, “Teddy Palmer,” first worn during a stint with nbW.
An easy smile, and one left.
Miss No-one-is-naturally-that-blonde bashfully takes her turn. The only white backed tee in the collection, the familiar construct of script and ampersand, only with a post-modern font in black, and pink for the [SHIFT+7].
As she passes the camera, the camera moves further down the non-descript corridor to the walls of grey felt…
A cubical set up in the most inconvenient of places, makes perfect sense. As we shift around to the side, the glint of gold (and various metals and fake gems) hits the camera.
Settling the contrast, in focus we see hung: GCW’s United States, Television and Hardcore titles, jOlt’s Tag straps and a comparably dingy UTA Hardcore title makes six.
Continue around to the opening and the third wall has been pushed back considerably to fit this poker table. Three places are set. In front of the first was a steaming cup of black coffee, sat beside the hip flask and a bowler cap, cane balancing between table and chair.
Second has a boilermaker, shot glass sitting inside. A grey tee strung over the chair, with white script trimmed in black reading:
F(Teddy Bear Winking Smiley Face)CK
Trois, a glass of amber liquid over some ice that if we’d had smell-o-vision by now (this is 2020, right? Come on.) you’d tell was a spiced rum. Again, a tee draped over the chair: white ringed with scarlett. Script is positioned to the right of the left half of the airline Air Canada’s logo, but legally distinct enough, and reads.
Finally the camera pans up to the centre of the table where two stacks of paper sit. “Talent Contract,” and the HOW logo are in bold at the top. Legal jargon in small font down to the bottom where it looks like the ink hadn’t finished drying on those signatures:
The screen fades as Peter Criss sings, “Beth, I know you’re lonely, and I hope you’ll be alright, because me and the boys will be playing all night.”
And before we cut back to the ICONIC feed the lower third reads, “Produced by/Directed by/Edited by Grady Patrick.” And then, “Debuting soon…”
Full PPV schedule will be released tonight as the shows will hit the road in 2020
Back live and the Lights out.
The sound of banjos.
Images of an abandoned barn strike the High Octane Vision. With bales of hay, swinging meat hooks, and a close up of pigs eating from a huge trough.
A long narrow shot from the next snippet of visuals. A large silhouette of a man wearing a Western-style cowboy hat can be distinguished at the end of the barn. The domineering silhouette then edges closer to the light; spanning his arms out and touching the animal pens beside him.
Silhouette: This little piggy went to market.
A sound of a squealing pig, followed by a cut-away shot of Buck Yates grabbing Jace Savage in his Pretty Lips finishing move. Buck, prizing Jace’s mouth open and he’s smiling. He likes it. He really really likes it.
We revert back to the live footage of the silhouette figure drawing closer and closer.
Silhouette: This little piggy had roast beef.
The pig squeal gets louder with a cut-away shot of Buck Yates’ arm being raised after his match with Chris Kostoff at Refueled XII.
Back in the barn and the light shines on the rotten boots of the silhouette making them visible.
Silhouette: This little piggy had none.
Stepping fully inside of the light is “The Diwan Forest Killer” himself, Buck Yates. He has a grimace on his face and heavily pants.
Suddenly, Buck grins.
Buck: And if ya shove ya thumb in its arse it’ll go wee, wee, wee.. all the way home.
Buck laughs, sinisterly.
A quick count down from nineteen to one consumes the screen. It lasts approximately one whole second.
Buck: But on my March To Glory, there can only be one prized fackin’ pig.
Sharp cut-away to the largest and fattest pig in the pens. It squeals, horrifically.
Buck: G’day, mate.
Buck tips his hat and menacingly laughs once again as we fade out and cut to the announcers for the Main Event
Back from the last advert of the evening and it is now time for our Main Event.
Joe Hoffman: Well here we go Benny. 97 minutes to determine who will be the World Champion heading into the Lee Best Invitational.
Benny Newell: Where for two months the World Champion gets to sit on their ass and wait to see who will take them on at March To Glory. That is complete and utter bullshit.
Joe Hoffman: Those are the rules…..and now is the time to see who will go thru hell and back tonight to EARN that time off before March to Glory. Maybe that is why Lee made this match an unprecedented 97 minutes?
Benny Newell: There has to be something more to this…..something. I trust in GOD, however.
We cut away from the announce team as Bryan McVay begins his introductions.
Bryan McVay: Coming down to the ring now, representing The Industry, hailing from Houston Texas…..DAAAAAANNNN RYYYYYAAAAANNNN!!!
The lights in the All State Arena go out and a dual spotlight makes an encircling pattern on the entrance ramp as the opening riff of “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the PA system.
A moment later Dan Ryan emerges from the backstage area and pauses and takes in the moment.
Joe Hoffman: Big time moment here Benny. Dan appears to be taking it all in as he knows this is his last attempt at defeating Farthington.
Benny Newell: There is no doubt he has to be feeling the fucking pressure. Harmen came up short versus Max, Lindsay came up short versus the SON…….he is literally the Industry’s last opportunity.
Back on the entrance ramp, it is apparent that that very thought could be going thru Ryan’s mind as he makes his way down to the ring.
The Chicago fans give Ryan a mixed reaction as he climbs under the bottom rope and makes his way to the far turnbuckle and climbs up to the top rope and smirks as he takes it all in.
As the music fades out we cut back to Bryan McVay.
Bryan McVay: Making his way down to the ring….he is the World….the ICON….and one half of the Tag Team Champions…..hailing from Buckinghamshire in the United Kingdom…….representing the eMpire…..CECILWORTH….FARRRRRRRRRTTTTHHHHHIIIINNNNNGGGGGTTTTTOOOONNN!!!!
Billy Ocean’s “When the Tough Get Going…” hits the PA system and CMF makes his way out from the backstage area. He has the ICON championship over this left shoulder, the Tag Team Championship over his right, and the World Championship around his waist.
The Chicago fans also give CMF a mixed reaction as its clear that a portion of the crowd is clearly anti eMpire.
Joe Hoffman: I think if we were anywhere but Chicago that CMF would be getting nothing but cheers tonight.
Benny Newell: But we are not……and he won’t. Maybe folks are finally seeing what a selfish fucking prick he is. IF you are not in the eMpire…he doesn’t give two fucks about anyone.
Joe Hoffman: Little harsh there Benny….he clearly cares for……..um…..
Benny Newell: Fucking exactly.
The feed cuts back to inside the ring where CMF has taken his spot in the opposite corner of Dan Ryan and is smiling from ear to ear as he SLOWLY takes each Championship off his person and hands the ICON and Tag Championships to a crewmember on the floor of the arena.
The World Championship however is handed to HOW senior referee Matt Boettcher who holds the championship high in the air as Bryan McVay goes over the rules for the live crowd and those watching at home on High Octane Television.
Bryan McVay: This match will be contested under a 97-minute time limit. The wrestler with the most falls will b—-
Suddenly McVay is cut off as “Undead” hits the PA system and the crowd erupts as one as the GOD of HOW makes his way out from the back….and he is not alone.
The GOD of HOW makes his way out from the backstage area with none other than Warrick Hill. The man that assaulted Crash Rodriguez from behind earlier tonight and was announced in the first LBI official match against Crash.
Warrick has what appears to be a drink in his hand and is smiling ear to ear as he stands to the right and slightly behind Lee Best as the creator of all things High Octane begins to speak.
Lee Best: Now first things first. I want to apologize to everyone for this event taking longer than any other event outside of Japan. That is totally on me. Trying to set this company up for 2020 led to some delays…but that is not why I am out here. I am out here simply because it is time for me to speak to my Son’s best friend and to everyone here in Chicago……..ya you too Dan….pay attention.
Lee smirks as Hill raises his glass to his new boss.
Lee Best: You know what? Before this show hits the 24-hour mark…..fuck it. Farthington you are not worth my time. You are not worth my fucking attention and you sure as fuck are not worth my Son’s. You continue to use my Son to hype you up and sell the shit you are spewing behind the scenes. As a World Champion…an ICON Champion…..a fucking TRIPLE Champion….what have you done to help the company? What have you done to help elevate the brand outside of what you do in the ring? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. You whisper into my Son’s ear and tell him that you should get this…you should get that….you should be this….you should be that. Continue to keep my son’s ears close to your pretty little mouth……but that ends soon. Run to twitter. Run to discord. Run to whatever social media you can to proclaim to the world how you just don’t care……but I am here to tell you that you don’t have to. Cause neither do we.
Lee holds his arms up and the Chicago crowd is buzzing as Lee continues.
Lee Best: And you Dan Ryan. We could have done magic together. You let some Applebee’s fucking waiter talk you and the Industry out of being the greatest Best Alliance of all time. What has that gotten you guys? One of the greatest stables of all time have done nothing but LOSE since they sent me to the fucking curb. Name one good thing that’s happened since you guys split from me to take on my SON’s and their boy toy? Has Harmen secured his path to another Hall of Fame induction with his losses to Max Kael? Has Lindsay Troy secured her title as Queen of the Ring by losing to my Son? How many times are you going to lose to Farthington before…..
“Shut the fuck up”
The crowd gasps as we see Dan Ryan in the middle of the ring holding a microphone.
Dan Ryan: Shut the fuck up and give us whatever stupid ass stipulation you are going to add to this match. Just fucking say it……go to the back there with your new drinking buddy…and watch me TAKE that World Championship off Farthington.
Farthington, who was smiling up to that last comment, stares intently at Ryan. Dan smirks back at Farthington and tosses the microphone back to the crewmember on the arena floor.
Lee Best: I can appreciate someone standing up and saying something to my face Mr. Ryan….so I will let that slide. Better than me finding out via a second handed tweet…….so I will grant your wish. Here is why I am out here. I am TIRED of Farthington representing only himself. Only caring about himself. It is time for those titles to come off him.
Joe Hoffman: Titles? Plural??
Lee Best: That’s right. Tonight’s iron man match is not only for the World Championship it is for the ICON Championship as well. The person with the most pinfalls or submissions at the 43-minute mark will be named the ICON Champion. The person with the MOST overall pinfalls or submissions after 97 minutes will be the World Champion.
Dan Ryan can be seen smiling at Farthington at the news.
Lee Best: Look I know what that makes everyone think. I am going to cheat….I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure that Farthington at the worst case walks out of here with only one championship…..but that’s not the real reason. This is fucking ICONIC. You honestly think I was going to let this PPV end without the ICON Championship being put on the line? That should not have been a surprise, but a fucking given.
The crowd is cheering loudly at the announcement that this match is now for both the ICON and World Championships.
Lee Best: Good luck assholes.
With that Lee and Warrick head to the back as the focus returns to ringside and the Hall of Fame announce team.
Joe Hoffman: Well that sure was interesting. Lee Best just made this match for the ICON Championship!
Benny Newell: The GOD speaks the truth. Cannot have ICONIC without the ICON Championship being on the line!
Joe Hoffman: Well we know the rules folks. Most pinfalls or submissions after 43 minutes will be crowned ICON Champion. Let’s be honest as well Benny….many ICONIC’s featured the ICON Championship in the Main Event and this honestly does make sense.
Benny Newell: Never doubt the God. I am praying his Son was listening backstage. Everything Lee said about Farthington was 100% true and now skewed or bias in ANY WAY. Maybe Farthington should clip that promo by Lee and share that on social media.
Joe ignores Benny as we see finally that Matt Boettcher is standing in the middle of the ring and is now holding up the ICON Championship high above his head.
Joe Hoffman: As if the stakes couldn’t get any higher…..
Boettcher hands the belt back to a crewmember on the outside and looks and points at both Dan and Farthington, who both nod that they are ready.
DING DING DING
Joe Hoffman: HERE WE GO!!!!!
Ryan charges at the ICONIC World Champion and CMF meets him in the middle of the ring and the two begin exchanging blows right away. The crowd erupts as both men unload with right hands on each other, but Ryan gains the upper hand and punches Farthington back into the corner.
Joe Hoffman: The 7 inch and 118lb advantage by Ryan shows its benefits here early on with both men fresh.
The bigger Ryan continues to pummel Farthington with right hands until the ICON Champion is knocked down to the canvas and instantly covers his head as protection from the onslaught.
Farthington screams at Boettcher to get Ryan off him and the senior referee begins a five count.
Joe Hoffman: No way does either man want to lose a fall due to a DQ….hate to say but very smart move there by Farthington.
Ryan waits until Boettcher gets to four before stopping his blows to the World Champion.
Dan backs up to the middle of the ring and urges Farthington to meet him in the middle. The World Champion uses the ropes to get back to his feet and seemingly adjusts his jaw back into place.
Joe Hoffman: Another smart move by the champion there….using the ropes to get up to his feet so that he can conserve as much energy as possible.
Benny Newell: Ya…smart is that kid……ya.
Farthington, ready to go once again, charges at Dan Ryan and the two men tie up. Farthington shoots for the legs really quickly but Ryan is able to secure a side headlock on the Champion and shoots him to the ground, holding on tightly to the headlock.
Joe Hoffman: Here is where Farthington could be in danger. If Dan is able to use his physical advantages at will…..well just by pure force will he be able to wear down the champion and gain an edge here in this grueling match.
Benny Newell: Speaking of which, we are five minutes in and all I have seen is Dan Ryan use that physical advantage. This is going to be a LONG match for Mr. Farthington.
Joe Hoffman: He had to know coming into this match that would be the plan……long time left though.
Back in the ring, Ryan wrenches in the side headlock even tighter, leans his full body weight onto the back of Farthington.
CMF is seemingly fighting the urge to power his way out of the hold as its clear that he would not be able to do that, and it would be a waste of energy.
Slowly however, Farthington is able to slowly work his way up to his knees and with a couple quick blows to the ribcage of Ryan, he is able to push Ryan off him and send the bigger man into the ropes, where he bounces back and Farthington executes a perfect arm drag.
Ryan is quickly back up to his feet and is met with another deep arm drag…….and then another…..but this time Farthington holds onto the arm and locks in an armbar.
Joe Hoffman: Well that didn’t take long for Farthington to target the arm……and that’s vital as he has his own concerns about his own arm obviously.
Benny Newell: Both have men have time to be injured during the duration of the LBI. Tonight, they gotta put it all on the line and if you gotta pin someone with one fucking arm…..you do it.
Back in the ring, Farthington cinches in the armbar even further, but a fresh Dan Ryan is able to power his way up to his feet and nail the ICON Champion with a wicked right hand that sends the man down to the canvas, and in the process releasing the hold.
Ryan can be seen shaking his left arm, and it doesn’t take long to get full feeling back in, as he reaches down and pulls Farthington back up to his feet, only to send him back down hard to the canvas with another brutal right hand.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan literally forcing his will upon the Champion here at the moment.
Ryan drags CMF to his feet and promptly locks in another headlock and this time he sweeps the leg and sends Farthington down to the seat of his pants. Ryan keeps the headlock on and leans hard into the back of Farthington who remains in a sitting position. Knowing he is in trouble here, CMF also fresh, works his way back to his feet and promptly falls back down, executing a perfect chin breaker.
Joe Hoffman: Brilliant move there by the Champ!
Ryan staggers up against the ropes and sensing an opportunity, CMF charges the bigger man and clotheslines him over the top rope and to the arena floor.
Farthington follows him to the floor and quickly grabs Ryan by the back of the head and tosses him headfirst into the steel ring post, causing the big man to bounce off it violently.
Benny Newell: Well no one wins against steel. Much like pussy….it remains undefeated.
Ryan continues to check his head for blood and luckily for him he is not bleeding as we literally just hit the ten-minute mark.
HOW cameras do capture a large bump slowly forming above his right eye where he hit the ring post.
Boettcher is up to five with the count before Farthington realizes this and slides back into the ring.
Ryan looks up and scoffs at Boetther as the referee hits seven and the big man rolls back into the ring, only to be met with kick to the back of the head.
With a spurt of energy, Farthington drops elbow after elbow to the back of the head of Ryan, driving the big man to roll back out of the ring and to the arena floor.
CMF quickly follows suit and exits the ring, stands on top of the apron, and jumps off, executing a perfect double stomp the back of the big man’s left shoulder.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like a bit of targeting there. Planting the seeds for the Article 50 potentially? Smart move after cinching the armbar in a few minutes ago. That is clearly the plan for CMF.
Benny Newell: That’s the only plan that will work let’s be honest. If he goes toe to toe with Ryan for 97 minutes the sheer brute force of Ryan is going to win out.
Back on the outside of the ring, CMF stomps on the shoulder of Ryan multiple times, before pulling the big man to his feet and promptly Irish whipping him shoulder first into the steel ring steps.
The collision of human and steel echoes throughout the arena as Ryan writhes in pain holding onto his shoulder.
The steel steps, now split into two sections, surround the Industry legend. Sensing an opportunity, Farthington grabs the left shoulder of Ryan and swings it wildly against the bottom half of the steps.
This time everyone can hear the pain in Ryan’s shoulder as the big man screams out. He jumps to his feet in a reactionary state, and staggers as far away as possible from Farthington before collapsing at the bottom of the entrance ramp.
Back in the ring, Boettcher is up to six with the count, and CMF rolls into the ring on one side, and rolls back out of the ring on the side facing Ryan and the entrance ramp.
Joe Hoffman: Cecilworth clearly not going to wait on a ten count here. He knows he has to capitalize.
CMF looks up at the HOV which has a running clock and each wrestlers name to track their pinfall and submissions and smiles as we are literally only 15 minutes into the match, but he has already gained an advantage with Ryan’s arm.
Ryan, using the ringside barrier, barely gets to his feet in time to meet Farthington with a right hand. The blow is a glancing one however and Farthington is able to move forward and ducks under and grabs the man’s left wrist and pulls it down violently in a downward motion and Dan’s left arm crashes into the top of the ringside barrier.
Joe Hoffman: This is a clinic right now folks on how to target a body part and cutting a bigger man down to size. Right benny?
Benny Newell: Huh? Sorry….was reading the twittah machine. Predictable.
Joe Hoffman: During the match you are reading twitter?
Benny Newell: I cannot even answer that. Just gonna drink and work on my bio on the BRAND NEW HOWRESTLING DOT COM WEBSITE!!!! Ei Ei UH OHHHHHHH!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Yep. Meet Benny under the troll bridge later today folks. Sheesh.
Back to the action and we see Farthington following a now crawling Dan Ryan towards the ring. Farthington watches as the big man pulls himself up literally with one arm and turns to face Farthington.
With a smirk Farthington charges Ryan, who is full out expecting his arm to be targeted and jumps in the air for a dropkick and it finds its mark with precision…………the left knee of Ryan.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan expected CMF to go after his arm again but this time he chopped the man down to one knee with that dropkick. My god was that gruesome.
The folks at home are treated to a reply of the dropkick that landed just above the left kneecap of Ryan and sent the man down to the arena floor again in a heap of pain.
Back live and we see Farthington has rolled Ryan back into the ring and follows soon after and promptly locks in a left arm chickenwing on Ryan. The smaller Farthington uses all his weight for the move and leans in forcibly, making Ryan lay flat on the canvas as CMF yanks up on the hold.
Instincts kick in again however and Ryan uses brute strength to get up to his feet. As he does, CMF realizes he is about to lose the hold and instead pushes Ryan hard into the nearest corner, driving the man’s left shoulder hard into the top turnbuckle.
As Ryan bounces off in pain, Farthington quickly grabs him at the waist and rolls him up for the first pinfall attempt of the match
Boettcher quickly gets into position and counts
Joe Hoffman: Nothing more than a one count there. Farthington has yet to pin Dan and to be honest that quick kickout after ALL that damage to the arm, doesn’t make it seem promisingly that it’s going to happen tonight.
Benny Newell: Did you know that on HOWRESTLING DOT COM you can search for your favorite wrestler and find EVERY SHOW AND EVERY SEGMENT he has been a part of?? WOW!!!!
Joe can only roll his eyes, which he has been doing since 2002 with Benny, and pushes on as the professional in him can only do.
Joe Hoffman: We just hit the 20-minute mark and with 77 more minutes to go I wondering how in the blue heck is Ryan’s arm going to hold up till the end?
Back in the ring we see CMF continue to target the left shoulder of Ryan as he struggles to pick up the big man and executes a sloppy, but effective, shoulder breaker on his left arm.
Wasting no time, CMF stomps on the left shoulder a few more times, and once again locks in a hammerlock on the left arm of Dan Ryan……but this time Ryan is close enough to the ropes to snag the bottom one where Boettcher clearly calls for him to release the hold.
Farthington finally let’s go of the hammerlock and as he does Ryan rolls out of the ring and thumps to the floor below.
Again, Farthington follows him but this time he is met with a right-handed uppercut as Ryan was lying in wait.
Joe Hoffman: The big man resorting to playing possum here is a telling sign on his shoulder and potential damage that has been done.
Now it is Ryan, literally with one harm, who takes control as he grabs CMF by the back of the neck and whips him hard into the still dislodged ring steps from earlier. CMF’s left knee hits the steel first and the ICON Champion falls over the steps in pain.
Joe Hoffman: All is fair in war as Ryan gives Farthington some of his own medicine.
As Ryan stalks after CMF, we see the big man shaking out the uneasiness in his own left knee after taking that brutal unprotected drop kick earlier. He is however, holding his left arm limp as if it is in an unseen sling. He tries to rotate his should but quickly stops as the sharp pain is too much.
Benny Newell: Do you know that at HOWRESTLING DOT COM that wrestlers that are hurt, injured or no longer active will NOT show up on the active roster page anymore?? Man, this site is Tits McGee.
Joe Hoffman: Thank you Benny for continuing to provide such stellar commentary on this match.
Benny Newell: Hey I liked…as is past tense….Farthington. You attack the GOD….who do you think is going to be YELLING in my ear telling me what to say?? This should not be a surprise here folks. I am pro Lee Best above all others. He is my creator. Hard to top GOD isn’t it? Fickle my fucking ass. Established 2002 bitches!
Joe Hoffman: Ya just drink and continue to be an informercial for the new site.
Benny gives Joe a hearty thumbs up and a wink to go with it.
Back to what’s important, the action, we see Ryan standing over CMF and begins to return the favor as he stomps on the back of the World Champions head…..repeatedly.
Now it is Farthington who is crawling away from the danger as Ryan continues to stalk.
Joe Hoffman: Well we are 25 minutes into this match and finally Ryan looks as if he is back on the offensive.
Farthington crawls back into the ring and starts crawling to the other side but as he does he is met with an elbow to the back of his head as Ryan catches him about halfway across the ring.
Joe Hoffman: That has to be the target here for Ryan as we move past the first third of this match. The Humility Bomb could secure a pinfall pretty quickly for Ryan if he is able to do some more damage to the neck and head of Farthington.
Benny Newell: Do you know that on the new HOWRESTLING DOT COM site that you can see all the bios for the wrestlers which includes their wrestling style, finishing move and move sets!!! Now you can follow along at home and Humility Bomb your significant others!!
Joe Hoffman: Yep. New Site. Got it.
Back in the ring Ryan pulls Farthington to his feet and promptly drops him back to the canvas with a powerful body slam. He does not let the Champ rest however as he picks him directly back up and delivers an overhead belly to belly suplex, throwing the man damn near across the ring and into the corner.
As Ryan makes his way up from the canvas it is clear executing the suplex did some damage to himself as well. He is clearly favoring his left arm as he looks over at Farthington as he is struggling to get to his own feet.
Joe Hoffman: Dan has to be careful here as all his biggest moves are obviously tied to his power advantage and let’s be clear……that is how he is going to win this match…….but has too much damage been done to the arm already?
Benny Newell: Sure. Probably. Yep. No….maybe?
Back in the ring Ryan charges CMF, who is using the turnbuckles to pull himself up, and nails him with a running knee into the ICON Champions kidney.
Joe Hoffman: Well that is one way not to use a bad arm. I am pretty sure his kidney moved with that blow.
CMF falls to his knees with his head resting on the second turnbuckle. But he doesn’t rest for long as Ryan uses the ropes for leverage and swings himself up, and then down, and sends a pair of knees into the lower back of Farthington.
Joe Hoffman: Again, more targeting here in this match. Dan focusing in on the upper torso and neck of Farthington and obviously Ryan’s arm the focus on Cecilworth….and as we hit the 35-minute mark….I am totally unsure of who truly has the advantage as it’s still EARLY in this match.
Ryan stays on the offensive as he pulls CMF up to his feet….whips him into the far ropes….and promptly meets him with a powerful spinebuster….which he pivots quickly into a pinfall cover.
Boettcher drops down…
2……KICKOUT by the champ!!
Joe Hoffman: The first pinfall attempt by Ryan sees the champ kick out almost right at the two count. Even though both men are hurting right now….neither have absorbed enough damage to submit to a pinfall three count.
Dan Ryan looks up at the HOV screen and sees that the clock is at 38 minutes. Only 5 more minutes until the ICON Championship is decided.
Joe Hoffman: Five minutes to go here folks. Right now, Ryan has the advantage, but can CMF hold on long enough to retain his ICON Championship here at ICONIC??
Ryan looks down at Farthington, who is still not really moved since the spinebuster, and then towards the turnbuckle. The big man then jumps to his feet and walks to the turnbuckles with a purpose. He climbs up to the top rope and looks out to the Chicago fans, who are standing as one with him.
He then jumps….
Joe Hoffman: Big risk here!!!!!
……and lands a perfect elbow drop into the chest of the ICON Champion.
But again, Ryan does not let up and literally pulls CMF up to his feet, whips him off the ropes, CMF ducks underneath a clothesline attempt, Farthington bounces back off the far ropes and promptly nails Ryan with a DDT and then covers.
Joe Hoffman: Great reversal by the champion……….Boettcher with the count!!
KICKOUT by Ryan!!
Farthington rolls off Ryan and looks up at the HOV where we see we are in the 41st minute of the match. Farthington slowly gets to his feet and walks over to grab the left arm of Ryan and locks in his Article 50 submission!!
Joe Hoffman: Here we go!!! The Champ has his finisher locked in!!!!
The cameras zoom in on the grip of Farthington and we see that Ryan is using his right hand to keep the pressure completely off his bad arm.
CMF proceeds to let go with his own right hand and begins to punch at the right arm of Ryan in hopes of getting him to lose his grip. But by doing that he provides a window and Ryan rolls towards the champ and lands a wicket right hand to the nose of the World Champion….instantly there is blood flow from the blow as Ryan breaks free of the hold.
Joe Hoffman: Ryan is able to power out and the champ is busted open!!!
Ryan pulls CMF up to his feet and as he does….
CMF delivers an open-handed smack to the face of Ryan. The crowd gasps at the blow.
Two more slaps and Ryan is seething at Farthington as the HOV begins the 43rd minute…..
Joe Hoffman: One-minute left for the ICON Championship!!!!!
Farthington, smiling with blood dripping down his face, goes to smack Ryan again but this time his arm is blocked with the bad left arm of Ryan. Dan grabs CMF violently by the back of the neck and positions him for a powerbomb and does not hesitate as he picks up the triple champion and proceeds to deliver a picture-perfect Humility Bomb to the ICON Champion.
Ryan makes the cover as Boettcher gets into position as there are only seconds left in the ICON period….
The crowd looks as one to the HOV along with Dan Ryan to see if he got the pinfall in time……
Joe Hoffman: Did he get the fall in time???!!!!!!
Everyone looks up at the HOV and see a replay of what just happened and as it moves into a slow-motion video we see that Boettchers hand hits the mat for the third time at 43:56!!!!!!
The HOV goes back to the live countdown and we see we are now in the 45th minute as Bryan McVay takes the microphone to make an announcement after conferring with Boettcher.
Bryan McVay: With only four seconds to spare Dan Ryan was able to secure the only pinfall or submission during the first FULL 43 minutes and with that said he is your NEW ICON CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!
The crowd erupts as Ryan, still on his knees next to the World Champion, holds his left arm in pain while sporting a huge smile.
Joe Hoffman: The first pinfall goes to Dan Ryan and it secures the ICON Championship for him. What a moment……….WAIT LOOK!!!!!!
Back inside the ring we see a desperate CMF just reached up and snagged the left arm of the unsuspecting new ICON Champion and has locked in his Article 50 finisher once again. But this time Ryan is unable to keep leverage off his arm and is screaming out in pain.
Joe Hoffman: While Ryan was waiting on the decision on the ICON Championship, the always cagey Farthington, smartly secured the already damaged arm of Dan Ryan and is pulling back HARD on the armbar submission!!!!
Ryan is trying desperately to roll thru the move…….trying to do anything to break the hold……….and being in the middle of the ring there is nowhere for him to go…………Ryan finally pauses his efforts….looks directly into the eyes of the World Champion and taps out.
Joe Hoffman: SUBMISSION for the World Champion!!!!! What a great move by Farthington to lock in the move and you could see that Ryan KNEW he had to tap out if he were to continue for another…..47 minutes…..wow what a few minutes there.
The HOV shows a graphic showing both wrestlers names with the number “1” by each as the World Championship will be decided by total pinfalls and submissions.
Back in the ring Farthington has refused to let go of the hold. Boettcher begins a five count and the World Champion is now showing any desire to let go after losing his ICON Championship.
FINALLY,……Farthington lets go of the hold to avoid the DQ.
Immediately after letting go of the hold, Ryan rolls all the way across the ring and to the outside, clearly in some serious pain from the extended armbar.
Joe Hoffman: We are tied one to one as we hit the 50th minute Benny. Can you believe those turn of events there?
Benny Newell: Do you know that on HOWRESTLING DOT COM right now you can go to the TALENT page and see Dan Ryan as the ICON Champion??? Well maybe not this exact second but it’s coming!!!! Ei Ei Uh Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Joe gain just rolls his eyes as we return to the action.
Farthington, finally standing up, leaning against the ropes……and hurting.
Dan Ryan on the floor, kneeling and looking up at the World Champion, while holding his almost useless left arm
The HOV is shown to the folks at home as we hit minute 52.
Joe Hoffman: These last 45 minutes to decide it all. Craziness to think that we are only a little bit halfway to the conclusion of this match.
The feed cuts back to a closeup of Farthington, who’s nose has stopped bleeding, and we see a block of dried #97red colored dried blood between his nose and mouth. He is rubbing his back, which has been targeted and dealt blow after blow, but he is smiling, nonetheless.
Joe Hoffman: Obviously Farthington is still in this match and you can see right now on his face that maybe he knows that he has taken everything Ryan could give him and he is still standing.
We then cut to the outside of the ring where we see Ryan, now leaning against the guardrail, holding his left arm. He continues to rub and shake it in hopes of getting all the feeling back……but that more than likely is a lost cause.
The focus then turns to Boettcher as the senior HOW referee is up to a count of six and motions for Ryan to get back into the ring.
But instead of entering the ring to take the fight back to the World Champion, CMF rolls out of the ring, and begins heading towards the new ICON Champion.
The crowd is buzzing again as Boettcher restarts the count as Farthington heads towards Ryan.
The eMpire stalwart pauses as the corner of the ring, however, turns towards the fans, and proceeds to rip a chair out from under an unsuspecting fan.
Joe Hoffman: Well that is just uncalled for and let’s be honest it’s just going to lead to a DQ for Farthington….what is he thinking??
Dan, seeing Farthington grab the ring, looks around and pushes McVay off his chair that he is sitting on, and proceeds to fold it up as his own weapon.
The crowd erupts as both men stare each other down while holding folded up steel chairs.
Joe Hoffman: Again, how does this benefit either man??
Benny Newell: I would gladly take a DQ loss here in the match if that meant I could get two quick pinfalls if I destroyed his fucking smug face with a chair.
Joe Hoffman: Wow…..that actually make some sort of sense….but who are you talking about??
Benny for once in his life is quiet.
Back to ringside and Boettcher is screaming at both men to get back in the ring and to drop the chairs. The Chicago fans are screaming for the wrestlers to NOT get back into the ring and they want them to go at it.
Joe Hoffman: Blood thirsty Chicago fans that’s for sure here……..but it appears both men are feeding off the crowd’s energy.
What Joe is saying is right on point as neither man is showing any pain as they charge at each other with steel chairs.
Farthington nails Ryan with a steel chair shot to the left shoulder.
Ryan, teeth gritting from the pain, nails his opponent with a shot to CMF’s left arm.
Farthington swings again and nails Ryan on the top of the head with the steel chair.
Ryan staggers backwards….legs woozy…..but then flings himself forward and nails Farthington on the top of the head with the steel chair as well.
Both chairs are bent as the crowd is going crazy as the two Champions are literally out on their feet as they stare each other down with both men seeing blood trickling down their foreheads.
Both men nail each other with a chair shot at almost literally the same time and both men crumble in heaps to the arena floor.
The crowd is chanting “This is Awesome” as both men lie flat on their backs.
Inside the ring Boettcher signals Bryan McVay over to the ropes and the senior referee relays some information to the longtime ring announcer:
Bryan McVay: Per referee Matt Boettcher, both men have been DQed due to the use of the chairs and the counts for both men will be at two.
Joe Hoffman: Well there ya go. Boettcher had no choice but to issue a DQ to both men for using their chairs as if he didn’t here….and one uses one later….he would literally have no leg to stand on regarding a DQ.
Benny Newell: Rules are Rules I suppose…..which by the way you can find in the FAQ SECTION OF THE NEW HOWRESTLING DOT COME SITE!!!
With a heavy sigh from Joe we cut back to Boettcher who know is counting both men out as we hit the hour mark.
Both men begin to stir
Both men are slowly climbing to their feet
Both men are up……..and both have the bent steel chairs in their hands….
Both Champions slide into the ring at the same time….barely beating the 10 count.
The crowd erupts as its clear the wrestlers are ok with steel chair induced DQ’s….. but neither wanted to take a chance on a count out.
Joe Hoffman: Well the action is back in the ring…two bloody champions…..two bent steel chairs and one referee who is pleading for both to drop the chairs.
Neither man refuses to drop the chair however and suddenly EVERYONE turns towards to the HOV where we see the countdown has been replaced with the face of GOD…..Lee Best.
Lee Best: You two wanna just destroy each other with steel chairs…..so fucking be it. Rest of the match will be contested under NO DQ rules!!! Now hit each other…..fucking hard.
With that the screen goes black and then back to the clock which shows we are into the 62nd minute.
Joe Hoffman: Well booking on the fly finally makes its way to ICONIC and we now will see 35 minutes….err….34 minutes of NO DQ action.
In the ring, Farthington charges Ryan with the chair, but the big man ducks underneath the blow and drives the end of his chair into the gut of the World Champion and then brings his chair down HARD on the back of the World Champion.
The chair in Farthington’s hand falls harmlessly to the mat as he crashes stomach first to the mat from the force of the blow to his already damaged back.
Joe Hoffman: Now don’t get me wrong….I know Farthington is the brawler here in this match and he probably felt like he has to do ANYTHING to retain the World Championship….but man that chair just came back to bit him in the butt.
The hard camera zooms in on the face of the new ICON Champion, a few lines of blood building up off his forehead, and now it is him who is smiling as he stands over the World Champion whose back is exposed.
Ryan lifts his chair high up in the air and brings it crashing hard down on the back of Farthington.
And again…..and again….and again….
Ryan only stops as the mangled chair is literally held together with a single piece of metal. Dan looks at his handiwork and tosses the chair out of the ring.
But he is not done. He reaches down and picks up the chair Farthington was using and instead of hitting the World Champion with the belt, he walks towards the turnbuckle and places the chair between the top two ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Well Ryan has something in mind here and it does not look pleasant as the bent chair is looking on dangerously.
Ryan turns back to CMF and picks him up as if he is going to body slam him but instead turns towards the turnbuckle with the set up chair……and charges….slamming the back of Farthington into the cold steel with such force that the chair goes flying out of the ring and barely hits the ringside barrier…avoiding an incident with the fans.
With CMF lying face down and prone from the move, Ryan steps up to the second turnbuckle and jumps off, nailing the World Champion in the middle of the back with an elbow drop.
He follows up with a cover….
Kickout by Farthington at about two and a half.
Joe Hoffman: Gonna take more than that to pin the World Champion and quite frankly it might be the literal take it from my cold dead hands situation.
Benny Newell: Wait what? You thinking that Ryan is going to have to KILL Farthington tonight??
Joe Hoffman: Not literally of course…….what you think that could happen?
Benny Newell: Well the voice in my head sure isn’t disagreeing. I mean Farthington did win the ICON Championship after quote shooting himself in the head unquote.
Joe Hoffman: Um ya……go back to the site work will ya.
Benny just shrugs as the thought of Farthington dying in the match is a fleeting one as Benny continues to check out the bad ass new HOWRESTLING DOT COM website.
Back in the ring and Ryan mentions to Boettcher that he sure thought that was a three count and Boettcher mentions that it wasn’t even close. A little frustrated, Ryan jumps on the back of the still grounded World Champion and locks in a camel clutch……putting even more pressure on the back of Farthington.
Ryan sits down all the way as they are in the middle of the ring and CMF has nowhere to go.
Boettcher gets into position and continues to ask CMF if he is going to quit but there is no quit in the eyes of the World Champion and maybe sensing that, Ryan releases the hold, and drops an elbow to the back of Farthington.
Ryan, standing over Farthington, surveys the situation and looks around as if he is unsure what to do next.
The viewers at home are shown a split screen showing the clock just hit the 75th minute and both men are still sitting at 2 pts each.
Back to full screen and we see Ryan exit the ring and lift up the ring skirt and reach under and pull out a table.
The crowd erupts at the sight of the table.
Joe Hoffman: Well even though he is the bigger man in the match, Ryan came into this as the technician of the two, but with the World Championship on the line, all that is tossed to the curb as its time for some plunder.
Benny Newell: The World Championship will make you do some crazy shit man…….and you can ask all the previous World Champions by going to HOWRESTLING DOT COM to look at the new site where you can see the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE HISTORY!!!!
Back in the ring, Ryan has the table set up in the corner, and has turned his attention back to the World Champion who is in the far corner using the turnbuckles to get to his feet.
Seeing an opening, Ryan charges towards the corner and at the World Champion and dives forward but misses as this time its Farthington playing possum.
The sound of now his good shoulder hitting the steel ring post after missing a spear in the corner is not a good one.
Joe Hoffman: Well Dan Ryan, already working basically with one arm, now has his good arm wrapped around the steel ring post after missing a thunderous spear attempt.
The World Champion, sporting more dried blood on his face from the chair shots, pulls the ICON Champion back thru the corner and whips him towards the far corner where the table has been set up.
Ryan hits the table back first, but the table does not break. Farthington runs towards the corner and Ryan dives out of the way but the World Champion anticipated that move and stopped short by a few feet. He then grabs the new ICON Champion by the back of the head, picks him up, and promptly throws him headfirst into the table….which still does not break.
Again, CMF bounces Ryan’s head off the table and it does not break.
The World Champion takes a few steps back, almost to the middle of the ring, and rushes forward and delivers an elbow to the back of the head of the new ICON Champion causing both men to go thru the now broken table.
Joe Hoffman: Malice in Wonderland and thru the table!!!
The HOV shows several replays and as we cut back live we see Farthington dragging Ryan out of the rubble and makes a cover.
Joe Hoffman: Another kickout basically at two by Dan Ryan there. We are still tied at two here folks with now only ten minutes remaining as we just entered the 88th minute.
Benny Newell: This just needs to end. EVERYONE knows that the eMpire is going to cheat to keep the World Title on Farthington. Lee got what he wanted and got one title off of Farthington, but I mean come on….there is no way that fucker doesn’t leave here with at least one belt…..he would be booking the first flight to Utah that he could!!
Joe Hoffman: Can you get to Utah via boat?
Benny Newell: Ok have we switched positions? What the fuck you on about?
Joe Hoffman: I digress. Someone get me a burner phone though….I need to make a call…..you just reminded me of something.
Now its Benny who just rolls his eyes for all of twitter to see as the action continues as inside the ring Farthington is pulling Dan Ryan to his feet.
As the 6’7” Dan Ryan stands up fully and looks down at the 6’ World Champion he is met with another slap much like earlier in the match…..but this time Farthington is ready for the reaction……as Ryan goes to kick Farthington in the gut but the World Champion grabs his leg and nails the big man with a harsh boot to the groin.
Dan Ryan drops to his knees in pain as Farthington bounces off the far ropes and charges the ICON Champion…….who pops up and nails Farthington with a desperation power clothesline…….sending both men down hard to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Ok folks both men are down, and we are at the 93rd minute of the match and quite frankly at this point you gotta believe the next fall wins…..right?
Benny Newell: All Farthington. Its destined. By the way I checked….no boats to Utah. You are welcome.
Joe Hoffman: Did you really google that shit?
Benny Newell: Actually yes…..as there is no search ON THE BRAND NEW HOWRESTLING DOT COM website!!!
The feed cuts to a split screen of the HOV with the clock and the ring where both men are still down
Joe Hoffman: We just entered the 94th minute folks……three to go….there is no way for overtime is there???
Benny Newell: There is always a way….but considering this match seems to have been going for the last twelve hours……I hope not
Back in the ring both men are slowly moving. Boettcher is standing at full attention as we are in the final minutes of the match.
Both men are up to their knees and are staring at each other.
Ryan rears back and nails Farthington with a right hand.
Farthington follows suit and nails Ryan with a right hand.
Both men again deliver right hands and as they work themselves into a fury and are now bringing the crowd into a frenzy as they are unloading with reckless right hands as we hit the 96th minute.
A graphic now hits the bottom of the screen for those watching at home on HOTv as we see a countdown as we hit the 97th minute. Some of the crowd begin counting down with the clock…
The two men fighting in the ring to be the World Champion heading to March to Glory could give two fucks about the clock however as they continue to ignore all the pain and are just destroying each other with right hands.
Finally, after a few more blows Dan Ryan is able to finally get the upper hand and delivers blows without anything coming back at him.
The ICON Champion pulls The World Champion to his feet and tosses him into the far ropes where Farthington bounces off, ducks under another right hand, bounces off the far ropes and delivers a jumping right hand to the side of Ryan’s face….staggering the big man as the crowd continues to countdown.
Farthington goes for another right but its blocked and Ryan kicks CMF in the gut, lifts him up for another Humility Bomb, but CMF rains down with more right hands to no effect, but then proceeds to jab both his thumbs into the eyes of the big man , causing Ryan to drop him back down to his feet.
Farthington kicks Ryan in the gut to lower his center of gravity and executes an inside cradle
Boettcher drops down to count
4 seconds left!!!!
3 seconds left!!!!!
A loud buzzer sounds inside the All State Arena and the crowd is unsure of what just happened.
No one, announcers included, are saying anything as the HOV begins to air the replay of the inside cradle.
Not only is Boettcher making the three count….but he is making it with both hands…..
Joe Hoffman: Oh my god……..
The three count is now being presented in super slow motion as we see Boettchers hands hit the mat…
The third count is with only one hand however……as we see that the bodies shifted as someone clearly got a last gasp advantage with the roll up.
The crowd is buzzing as the replay continues to be shown on the HOV as we see Boettcher talking to the ring announcer Bryan McVay who also handed Boettcher the big red belt.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen….by the slimmest of margins…..with a score of 3-2….the winner of the match and STILL……HIGH OCTANE WORLD CHAMPION……CECILWORTH FARTHINNNNNGGGGGTOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!
Joe Hoffman: Holy shit!!!!!!
Benny Newell: What? You just curse??
The viewers at home once again see the replay and right after the double two count we see Farthington somehow shift his weight just enough to get his shoulder off the mat before Boettcher hit the mat for the third and final time.
Confetti comes raining down from the top of the arena as Boettcher lays the belt on the body of Cecilworth Farthington.
He is then given the ICON Championship by a crewmember and he places it on the chest of Dan Ryan.
Joe Hoffman: Well you called it Benny. Farthington was destined to retain.
Benny Newell: Catch the replay on HOTv which will soon be linked on the BRAND NEW….
Benny’s mic is finally shut off as we go to a final shot from above the ring as we see the prone bodies of the ICON and World Champion as ICONIC goes off the air.