The PWA and HOTv logos give way and we cut immediately inside the ring here in a nearly sold out Best Arena here in Chicago.
The feed fades in with Bobby Dean already inside the ring for our opening match, leaning into the corner, face red as a fire hydrant, sucking wind as hard as humanly possible. If Hoover needed a human representation of how hard their vacuum cleaners sucked, right now they couldn’t use Bobby Dean because he’s working harder getting Oxygen than a fucking Dyson. Anyway, “You’re The Best Around” by Joe Esposito fades.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome everyone to Chaos. Tonight is our last Chaos of the year and we are kicking it off with Bobby Dean taking on Xander Azula and it is obvious that Bobby has certainly seen better days in an HOW ring.
The whistling intro of “Engel” plays over the PA system, setting the crowd off in a chorus of boos as Xander Azula and his Eternal Circle disciples step out onto the stage, surveying the crowd with a gleeful grin. The crowd show their disdain for Xander and his crew, who simply laugh at the ignorance they see as they head toward the ring.
Joe Hoffman: And here comes Xander Azula….a man that is STILL determined to make it onto the ICONIC card.
Xander directs his disciples to circle around the ring, and they all hop onto the apron with wicked smiles on their faces. They enter the ring surrounding Bobby Dean and staring him down before Xander directs his crew to leave the ring. The bell rings.
Xander marches over to Bobby who is still leaning against the ropes, looking like he’s mid heart attack. Bobby weakly puts his hands across his face and Xander just shakes his head back and forth in disgust.
Joe Hoffman: Xander’s expression sums it up for all of us.
Bobby waddles and wobbles out of the corner and tries to stand up straight with Xander, but clearly pulls a back muscle lifting his girth into a standing up straight position. Xander lightly pushes Bobby, and Bobby wobbles and waddles back to the corner. Bobby stands there for like another minute or so, thinking about the burrito he’s going to eat after the show, and how much he likes ice cream. He has a brilliant epiphany of dipping a burrito in ice cream when suddenly Xander Azula’s fist explodes across Bobby’s face.
Joe Hoffman: I think Xander got tired of waiting.
Bobby’s hulking form slumps to the mat, blood spewing from his nose, as Xander has to grab him by the arm and drag his massive frame to the center of the ring. He sits down on Bobby Dean’s man milkers while Joel Hortega falls down excitedly to count the pinfall.
Joel Hortega: UNO!
Joel Hortega: DOS!
Joel Hortega: TRES!
DING DING DING
Bryan McVay: Your winner by pinfall… XAAAAAAANDER AAAAAAAAZULA!
Hortega raises Xander’s arm as he maintains his seat on Bobby’s chest.
Joe Hoffman: Bobby Dean is still not moving. Anyway. Glad Xander got that over with quick.
CHAOS fades elsewhere.
Earlier tonight flashes across the High Octane Visio screen above the entrance ramp as we see The Queen of Epicness, Hall of Famer Bobbinette Carey, standing in front of a locker room. She anxiously bites her nails as she waits. Finally everyone’s favorite gamer and two-time HOW World Champion Conor Fuse walks to his locker room. He looks surprised to see her waiting there. She smiles nodding her head.
Bobbinette Carey: Conor, Hey!
Fuse narrows his eyes to make sure he’s seeing correctly.
Conor Fuse: Oh hey Blai-errrr Bobbinette.
Bobbinette Carey: So… I wanted to talk to you.
Fuse’s expression is open to listen.
Bobbinette Carey: I’m going to get Harrison tonight… soften him up before your match with him at the pay per view.
Fuse nods empathically.
Conor Fuse: I like it.
Bobbinette Carey: I know you don’t need me to do it. But this is my way of ending 2022 on my terms.
She wrinkles her nose as there seems to be a long pause.
Bobbinette Carey: But that’s not why I’m here waiting for you. I have been thinking.. a lot. And I think we need to get counseling.
Bobbinette takes a step back to gauge his reaction. Conor seems concerned.
Conor Fuse: Bobbie, we’re just friends…
Bobbinette shakes her head rolling her eyes.
Bobbinette Carey: No, not couples counseling! I meant like… group therapy. You’re not yourself. I’m… not always myself. Between Scottywood, and STRONK, and all the crap JPD did. I think we need help.
Conor takes a moment to think things through.
Conor Fuse: What does finding another member for our group have to do with counseling?
Bobbinette looks confused.
Bobbinette Carey: I meant expert help.
The gamer scratches his head.
Conor Fuse: Where would we find a hitman this late in the year?
Bobbinette blinks as she looks at him blankly flabbergasted.
Bobbinette Carey: We need counseling. Group counseling and I’m doing this to help support you. I mean I don’t need it, I can handle the stuff I’ve been going through, but I think that this will help us grow together and be ready for next year, and for you to be ready for ICONIC.
Bobbinette puts her hands on her hips looking almost like an authoritative parent.
Bobbinette Carey: Look, I have respected your desire to not want to stay at my place, and I have respected boundaries. But I’m not taking no for an answer. We are doing this. WE, more so you… need this.
Fuse seems a little off put but doesn’t say anything.
Bobbinette Carey: I need to go see what shade of red Harrison bleeds. And get a fucking beer too.
Her tone changes as she has a crazed look on her face
Conor Fuse: Definitely not 97 shades LOL.
Bobbinette doesn’t really acknowledge the joke although she adds “good one”.
Bobbinette Carey: Anyways I got you, and my limo will pick you up for the therapy. We got matched to get ready for. Let’s go.
She puts her hand up to high five Fuse. Conor smacks her hand as Bobbie leaves for her upcoming match, leaving the gamer to contemplate their discussion.
Conor Fuse: Hmmmm, yeah I suppose a big Mario Kart marathon would be a good way to decompress. Bobbie is right.
The video fades to a conclusion on the HOV and the show continues on…
Cut to Section 214 where they are excited and for good reason.
Joe Hoffman: Last week, Section 214 got all fired up when PRIME’s Adam Ellis visited. Tonight, they are going crazy because…
Joe Bergman: Hello HOW!
Joe Hoffman …Joe Bergman is here tonight!
Section 214 lets out a roar.
The rest of the Best Arena?
The boo’s don’t faze Bergman.
Joe Bergman: I have a lot of things to get off my chest tonight so I’m going to get right to it. Lee Best.
Section 214: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe Bergman: Loyalty.
Joe nods his head.
Joe Bergman: Lee, since you brought up the subject, let’s do it… let’s talk about loyalty. I seem to remember two years ago when you called me and asked me to come back to face Steve Solex at ICONIC. That’s right. Four months after I thought I’d never wrestle another match, you came to me and asked me to come back for one match because… and I quote… ‘Bergman and Solex at ICONIC would be money.’
Section 214: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe Bergman: And I did it. I remember catching major flak I caught from my then-wife about even thinking about stepping back in the ring… FOUR MONTHS AFTER MAJOR HEART SURGERY! But I did.
Bergman starts pacing back and forth.
Joe Bergman: So let’s talk about loyalty, Lee. Six months ago you asked me to come out of retirement and come back to HOW. Lee, I could have stayed home… and in retrospect, I wish I would have stayed home. I could have worked at the barn… and I would have been happy. But no. Lee Best comes calling … “Joe, we need you to come back!”… so I did. I came back.
Joe walks to the edge of the railing high above the Best Arena.
Joe Bergman: So Lee, I don’t want to hear any more of your bullshit. You are the LAST person who has ANY right to question my loyalty. The LAST person. How could I forget the LOYALTY you showed me after I won the World Title tournament after HOW came back in 2019. You remember that World Title tournament, don’t you Lee? The World Title tournament that featured the likes of Mike Best, Scottywood, Max Kael, Mario Maurako, Cecilworth Farthington, Scott Stevens, Lindsay Troy, Eric Dane, David Black, John Sektor, Bobbinette Carey, and Brian Hollywood. Yeah… THAT tournament. A tournament that determined who would become the first world champion of the Refueled era. Guess who won the whole thing? I won your tournament wrestling as Halitosis. That’s right. Halitosis. The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene. Quite possibly the WORST gimmick in pro wrestling history. You brought me into HOW as a glorified cartoon character… mid-card comedy character… and I went and won your World Title. Clearly, you couldn’t wait to get that belt off of me, Lee. I mean, why else did you immediately book Halitosis to defend the title one week after running the gauntlet of defeating Scottywood, Max Kael, and then Brian Hollywood in the finals… after I’d just experienced the high of what was at that point the best moment in my pro wrestling career. You booked my first title defense to be against Max… again… and I couldn’t get myself mentally into going into another pitched battle. So I lost the title to Max.
Section 214: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe Bergman: Then this little thing happened a few weeks later. John Sektor totally didn’t take Halitosis seriously and got a faceful of his ‘toxic breath’ and I became the first TWO-time HOW World Champion of the Refueled era. What was my reward? You sent Dan Ryan out to challenge me to a match at Rumble at the Rock. Now Dan beat me the week before and quite frankly, he deserved the title shot. It would have been the classic underdog champion going up against one of the greatest wrestlers in wrestling history. But no, Lee. You wanted to make sure that there was NO way Joe Bergman… Halitosis… whoever, was going to leave Alcatraz with the title. So you added Cecilworth Farthington to the match. Great. I knew I was screwed. I knew I was toast. There was no way I was going to win that match. And of course, Farthington ended up winning the title.
Section 214: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe Bergman: So Lee. I’m over it. I’m over you. I didn’t have to come back… but I did. I could have gone to PRIME when it reopened… but I didn’t. I’ve shown you a lot more loyalty than you deserved so Lee…
Bergman pauses and takes a drink from a can of PBR.
Joe Bergman: …THAT… ENDS… NOW.
Section 214: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Joe Bergman: My deal ends after ICONIC, Lee. Before you started all this bullshit, it was a lead-pipe cinch that I would sign a deal with HOW to stay on. But now that you’ve questioned my loyalty to HOW… well… Lee, you’ve burned the bridge on the loyalty question. So, when Steve Solex or myself dispossesses Bart Harley Jarvis er… Jace Parker Davidson of the LSD title at ICONIC; when Solex and tear apart JPD and Stevens and regain the HOTv title… then… then… we’ll see what I decide to do. Maybe I’ll re-up with HOW. Maybe… just maybe…
Joe pauses again and takes a big gulp of PBR.
Joe Bergman: … I won’t.
Bergman lets the words waft through the Best Arena.
Joe Bergman: Speaking of the Highwaymen, for the record I completely agree with Clay Byrd. The Highwaymen ALL need to hold up their end of the bargain and I believe that’s exactly what we’re going to do at ICONIC. Clay Byrd is going to tear Christopher America apart the same way Scott Stevens ripped to shreds the ‘Christopher America’ mannequin at the MVW show the other night. Steve Harrison’s going to settle his long-running issues with Conor Fuse once and for all. And Steve Solex and Joe Bergman are going to bring the fire…a whole lot of fire… to Jace Parker Davidson and Scott Stevens and not only will one of us will walk out of ICONIC with the LSD title but both of us will leave the Best Arena as the HOTv Tag Team champions.
Bergman finishes the PBR.
Joe Bergman: You can book it.
He casually tosses the can in a nearby trash bin.
Joe Bergman: Last… but not least… Jatt Starr.
The Best Arena crowd roars. Section 214?
Section 214: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe Bergman: Yeah. I heard all about the things you’re saying about me and…
Joe shakes his head.
Joe Bergman: …I’m not going to dignify them with a response. Instead, let’s talk about you, Jatt. Jatt, what happened to you? I mean… seriously. What the hell happened to you? For all these years you’ve fought like hell against Lee Best. So now, after another setback… when the going gets tough… after all these years… you decided to sell your soul to Lee Best. That’s right, you go crawling on your hands and knees with your tail between your legs and sell out to Lee. The Ruler of Jattlantis wouldn’t have sold out to Lee Best. The Rembrandt of Wrestling? He wouldn’t have sold out to Lee Best. The Starrabian Knight wouldn’t have sold out to Lee Best nor would The Jattlantic City Idol, Sovereign of Starrgenina, The Duke of Jattmandu, the Marquis of MadagaStarr, and The Jattsylvanian Count. Jatt Starr wouldn’t have sold out to Lee Best so from now on, I will refer to you only as Simon Sparrow. Enjoy the money Lee’s splashing on you… Simon… because you’ve become a pathetic shell of the man you once was… Simon.
Joe cracks open another PBR and takes a big drink from it.
Joe Bergman: So… Simon… if I’m still in HOW next year… I’ll deal with you then… Simon.
He tips his head back and guzzles down the PBR in one, large gulp.
Joe Bergman: And if I’m not? Well… I guess Lee will know just where my loyalties lie from this point forward.
Bergman smiles and tosses the can into the trash bin.
We come back from commercial break to the ringside area of The Best Arena here in Chicago. The camera pans the crowd and shows that the people of Chicago are ready for more action tonight here on the go home edition of Chaos. The camera settles on the announcers table where the voice of HOW, Joe Hoffman is seated and ready to keep the show rolling.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to Chaos 018 ladies and gentlemen and as you know this is the last Chaos of 2022. We got one more show after this one and it’s ICONIC live from this very arena. But right now we have a match where one man already booked for ICONIC will take on an HOW Hall of Famer who he is very familiar with. Looks like we’re ready to go, let’s send it to Bryan McVay for the introductions.
The camera shifts from Joe Hoffman to the center of the ring where Bryan McVay is standing beside the referee for this next contest, Matt Boettcher. McVay has his microphone in hand and waits for the crowd to quiet down before speaking.
Bryan McVay: Our next contest is a singles match and it’s scheduled for one fall!
The crowd cheers wildly for the fact they are about to see two HOW wrestlers for the last time this year on an edition of Chaos.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first…
Arena lights go black as “ENEMY (ARCANE)” by Anna blasts throughout the building.
“Tell you you’re the greatest
but once you turn they hate us!”
A magenta spot light shines on the entrance ramp as the Queen of Epicness herself is already standing there waiting for the light. Bobbinette Carey makes her way down the ramp. Wearing a Miss America style crown. She stands at the top of the ramp with her pink and black leopard gear.
Bryan McVay: From Parma Heights, Ohio, weighing in tonight at 235 lbs. She is a HOW Hall of Famer. Please welcome The Queen of Epicness BOBBINETTE! CAREY!
“Oh the misery everybody wants to be my enemy!”
The HOV plays a black and white video package. (We see the clip of her smashing a photo over Mario Maurako; another clip of her hitting Mario with the defib pads, then the most striking image of Bobbinette standing over Scottywood and slapping him.)
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette Carey has been having a rough time since losing to Jace Parker Davidson at Rumble at the Rock. The news that her best friend and former tag team partner Scott Woodson aka Scottywood has been pronounced dead hasn’t helped matters at all. 2022 hasn’t been kind to Carey but tonight she looks to close out the year with a bang by getting a win over the man she blames for a lot of her misfortunes.
She steps up the ring steps and wipes her feet on the apron before getting in the center of the ring.
“Spare the sympathy, everybody wants to be my enemy, but I’m ready”
She stands in the center as magenta pink and mauve pyrotechnics explode from the turnbuckle as she does a ballerina style exaggerated curtsy.
Bryan McVay: And her opponent…
“TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN” By The Steve Miller Man starts to play and the curtain flies open. Steve Harrison walks out with his arms in the air, a smirk across his face. He begins walking towards the rings and begins waving at that crowd who return his waves with boos and indifference.
Bryan McVay: From Fairfax, Virginia, weighing in tonight at 245 lbs. Representing The Highwaymen, here is STEVE! HARRISON!
The smirk begins to fade after hearing the response so the Miracle Man begins jawing back at some of the audience and pointing to himself yelling over and over “ME, ME, ME!.” Steve walks faster to the ring, his smirk now a scowl, he enters the ring and leans against one of the turnbuckles and begins talking to himself, his face becoming red in anger.
Joe Hoffman: 2022 has been a rollercoaster ride for Steve Harrison. He’s had highs of being the LSD Champion and becoming one half of the first ever HOTv World Tag Team Champions. But a loss at Rumble at the Rock against Christopher America and having the HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts taken away from him has affected Harrison. He’s on a collision course to face Conor Fuse at ICONIC but are their issues within The Highwaymen?
Bryan McVay exits the ring as Matt Boettcher checks with Bobbinette Carey then with Steve Harrison. Both wrestlers are ready to go and Boettcher signals for the bell.
Harrison looks annoyed to have to stand across the ring from Carey yet again. He marches his way to the center of the ring in a lackadaisical manner. Carey, however, comes out of the corner hot and unleashes forearm shots to the chest and face of her taller opponent. Harrison gets staggered back towards the corner as Carey continues to land forearm shot after forearm shot. Carey lowers her shoulder and begins to ram into Harrison’s midsection over and over again trying to knock the wind out of the man set to face her last remaining ally in HOW. Boettcher comes over and begins a five count for Carey to bring the action out of the corner. Carey grabs a hold of Harrison by the arm then whips across the ring into the opposite corner as hard as she possibly can. Harrison hits the turnbuckle hard and falls to the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Steve Harrison wasn’t a fan of the booking of this match but it seems like Bobbinette Carey has more than enough reason to take advantage of this opportunity. Not only does she get to help her friend heading into ICONIC but she gets to take out pent up aggression towards Harrison stemming all the way back to before War Games.
The crowd cheers Carey on as Harrison pulls himself back up to his feet. Harrison charges and swings a clothesline at Carey but she manages to duck under it. Carey grabs a hold of Harrison by the waist then hits him with a belly to back suplex down to the canvas. Harrison holds the back of his head in pain before pulling himself back up to his feet. Carey hits Harrison with another forearm shot before whipping him into the ropes. As Harrison reaches the ropes, Carey winds up and goes for Royal Pain but Harrison sees it coming. Harrison grabs onto the top rope to stop his momentum before dropping down to the canvas and rolling out of the ring. The crowd boos loudly as Harrison walks around ringside barking angrily at himself.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison didn’t expect to have Carey come at him this hard, this early in the match. Carey looked to hit Royal Pain but Harrison was able to duck out of the ring. He’s taking a moment to slow down the pace and regroup here on the outside.
Harrison jaws with a couple fans in the front row but Carey doesn’t just wait inside of the ring. She steps out onto the ring apron and waits. As Harrison turns around Carey flips forward and takes Harrison down to the arena floor hard with a splash. Carey gets up to her feet then grabs a hold of Harrison and runs him shoulder first into the steel ring steps. Harrison hits the steel with a sickening thud as the crowd is eating this up. Carey gathers up Harrison then pulls him up to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. Carey slides back into the ring and then gets back up to her feet. As Harrison pulls himself back up Carey wraps her arms around him then hits him with a belly to belly suplex down to the canvas. Carey gets back up to her feet then grabs a hold of Harrison’s bald head and shoves it between her legs. Carey grabs Harrison by the waist then muscles him up into the air and hits him with a powerbomb down to the canvas. Carey hooks the leg and makes the cover on Harrison as Boettcher slides in.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Matt Boettcher: TWO
KICKOUT BY HARRISON
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette Carey impressively got Harrison into the air and hit him with a powerbomb but it only got her a two count before Harrison managed to kick out. I’m sure somewhere in the building Conor Fuse is watching this match very closely and cheering on his friend and tag team partner.
Carey gets back up to her feet then grabs a hold of Harrison. Carey pulls him back up to his feet but Harrison breaks Carey’s grip. Harrison spins and hits Carey with a discus forearm shot to the face that floors her. Harrison takes a moment to shake off the assault from Carey he’s suffered so far. Carey pulls herself back up to her feet but Harrison grabs a hold of her. Harrison lifts Carey up into the air and hits her with a saito suplex down to the canvas. Harrison gets back up to his feet and grabs a hold of Carey by the hair. Carey fires off some forearm shots to the midsection of Harrison but Steve uses his strength to sling Carey across the ring by her hair. Carey hits the mat hard as Harrison taunts the crowd and Carey by running his hand over his bald head.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison prides himself on being bald and beautiful and he just proved the advantages of that. He used Bobbinette Carey’s hair to sling her across the ring and down to the canvas hard. Harrison has survived the initial onslaught from Bobbinette Carey and now he’s looking to do some damage of his own.
Carey pulls herself to her feet and is pissed off about Harrison pulling her hair like that. Harrison charges and hits Carey with a dropkick to the shin that brings her down to one knee. Harrison gets up to his feet then hits Carey with a DDT down to the canvas. Harrison gets to his feet then grabs a hold of Carey by the hair again. He pulls her back up to her feet then unleashes some knife edged chops that backs her into the ropes. Harrison grabs Carey by the arm then whips her off into the ropes. Carey bounces off the ropes but Harrison hits her with a hard clothesline that sends her crashing down to the canvas. Carey pulls herself back up to her feet but Harrison grabs a hold of her from behind. He lifts her into the air and hits her with his own belly to back suplex down to the canvas. Harrison gets back up to his feet but doesn’t give Carey a second to recover. He pulls her back up to her feet then lifts her into the air and hits her with a brainbuster down to the canvas hard. Harrison hooks the leg and makes the cover on Carey as Boettcher slides in.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Matt Boettcher: TWO
KICKOUT BY CAREY
Joe Hoffman: Harrison has gotten into the flow of this match and is working on the head and neck area of Bobbinette Carey. Obviously, trying to set her up for Enlightenment and It’s A Harricle. However, Carey managed to kick out of that cover after the brainbuster. Harrison is clearly going to keep on the pressure and look to send a message to Conor Fuse.
Harrison gets back up to his feet then grabs a hold of Carey and pulls her back up to her feet. Harrison unloads a series of forearm shots then whips her into the ropes. Carey bounces off the ropes but Harrison catches her and goes for a spinebuster but Carey counters. Bobbinette manages to lock in a guillotine choke on Harrison. The crowd comes to life as Carey wraps her legs around Harrison and tries to choke the life out of him. Boettcher asks Harrison if he wants to submit but Harrison screams no. Harrison tries to muscle Carey off of him but Bobbinette has it locked in tight and continues to crank on the hold. The crowd cheers as Harrison begins to fade and drops down to one knee.
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette Carey used quick thinking to counter that spinebuster with a guillotine choke and now Harrison is down to one knee. She has her legs wrapped around him and she’s hooked his neck. What a statement it would be right before ICONIC if Bobbinette Carey managed to choke out Steve Harrison.
Harrison continues to fade as Carey uses all of her weight and strength into the hold. Harrison collapses down to the canvas but his height saves him as he’s able to get his foot onto the bottom rope. Boettcher begins a five count for Carey to release the hold. Boettcher gets to a count of four before Carey releases her hold on Harrison. Carey gets back up to her feet and waits in the corner as Harrison pulls himself back up to a vertical base. As Harrison turns around Carey charges and hits him with a spear that cuts him in half. Harrison rolls around on the canvas holding his midsection in pain. Harrison uses the ropes to pull himself back up to his feet in the corner. Carey gets a running start towards the corner then leaps into the air. Harrison moves out of the way and pulls Boettcher into the way. Carey crushes Boettcher in the corner with a big splash that causes him to fall to the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison just pulled Matt Boettcher into the line of fire and he gets crushed by Carey with a big splash. Boettcher is down and now Harrison has a moment to recover!
Harrison gets to his feet and grabs a hold of Carey from behind. Harrison tries to go for It’s A Harricle but Carey counters by hitting him with a snap mare down to the canvas. Harrison pulls himself back up to his feet but Carey charges.
Joe Hoffman: ROYAL PAIN!
Carey connects with the lariat that sends Harrison down to the canvas hard. Carey races towards the ropes with Harrison down to the canvas. Carey bounces off the ropes then connects with The Epic Ending down onto Harrison. Carey hooks the leg and makes the cover on Harrison but Boettcher is still down in the corner. The crowd counts along as clearly Carey has Harrison beaten. Carey slaps her hand down onto the canvas in frustration then gets up to her feet. Carey begins to pace around the ring frantically while arguing with herself.
Joe Hoffman: Carey had this match won but with Boettcher down she can’t end this. Seems like now she’s beginning to lose patience and seems to be having a bit of a meltdown inside of the ring.
Carey suddenly stops pacing as a sadistic grins forms on her face. She exits the ring and then begins to dig under the ring. Carey pulls out a random IPA then cracks it open and begins chugging it as the crowd reacts. Carey finishes the beer and tosses it aside before reaching under the ring again. This time Carey pulls out a barbed wire wrapped Hockey stick as the crowd comes unglued.
Joe Hoffman: I have no idea what is going on with Bobbinette Carey but I definitely know that Hockey stick! Things are about to get very violent here in this match!
Carey holds the Hockey stick into the air then slides back into the ring. Harrison has made it back to his feet as Carey charges with the Hockey stick. Harrison manages to hit Carey with a drop toe hold that sends her throat first down onto the middle rope. Carey just hangs there on the middle rope as Harrison pulls himself back up to his feet. Harrison sees Carey laying against the middle rope then gets a running start.
Joe Hoffman: ENLIGHTENMENT!
Harrison goes for the big knee to the back of the neck but Carey moves out of the way. Harrison hits the middle rope with his knee. Harrison pulls himself away from the ropes but gets a shot a midsection with the barbed wire wrapped Hockey stick. Harrison doubles over in pain and falls to his knees. Carey raises the Hockey stick into the air and then cracks Harrison across the back with it. Harrison flattens out on the canvas howling in pain. Carey kicks Harrison over onto his back then mounts herself on top of him. Carey uses the Hockey to rake across Harrison’s bald head and bust him open. Harrison finally fights Carey off of him then rolls around on the canvas trying to rub the blood away from his face. Carey gets to her feet and sees that Boettcher is starting to stir. Carey tosses the Hockey stick to the outside of the ring then stalks around Harrison as staggers up to his feet. Harrison turns around as Carey reaches out and grabs a hold of him by the throat.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute… is Bobbinette Carey going for the Scottyslam?!
Carey does indeed try to hoist up Harrison for the chokeslam but Harrison breaks her grip. Bobbinette throws a right hand but Harrison dodges and hits Carey with a side Russian leg sweep down the canvas. Harrison staggers back up to his feet bleeding like it’s shark week as Carey crawls to the ropes. Carey begins to pull herself off of the canvas as Harrison charges.
Joe Hoffman: ENLIGHTENMENT CONNECTS!
Harrison blasts Carey with a knee strike to the back of the neck. Carey falls to the canvas but Harrison starts to measure her up. Carey slowly staggers back up to a vertical base as Harrison grabs a hold of her. Harrison goes for It’s A Harricle again but Carey counters with back elbow shots to the face of Harrison. He loses his grip on Carey who quickly grabs a hold of Harrison and lifts him up onto her shoulders.
Joe Hoffman: I think Bobbinette Carey is going for Game Misconduct on Harrison!
That is indeed exactly what Carey is trying to do but Harrison does everything in his power to counter it. Harrison rakes Carey across the eyes which causes her to lose her grip. Harrison lands on his feet behind Carey then hooks her into position.
Joe Hoffman: IT’S A HARRICLE!
Harrison snaps Carey backwards and sends her crashing down to the canvas. Harrison rolls Carey over then hooks the leg and makes the cover as Boettcher makes his way over to make the count.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Matt Boettcher: TWO
Matt Boettcher: THREE!!!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner… STEVEEEEEEE HARRISONNNNNN!!!!
Harrison pulls himself up to his feet and wipes the blood away from his eyes to boo’s from the crowd. Matt Boettcher tries to raise Harrison’s hand into the air but Harrison snatches it away from Boettcher. Harrison leans over and spits onto Bobbinette Carey before exiting the ring and heading back up the ramp.
Joe Hoffman: Steve Harrison survives Bobbinette Carey here tonight on Chaos. It was a lot harder than he expected it to be. I have to say, if Carey didn’t try and channel her inner Scottywood then she would have possibly upset Harrison here tonight heading into ICONIC. I’m sure Harrison spitting on Carey was a direct message to what he thinks about her and his opponent at ICONIC, Conor Fuse. Chaos rolls on as we head backstage with Blaire Moise.
We cut backstage in The Best Arena here in Chicago. Instead of standing in front of a dressing room door or in front of a backdrop we find Blaire Moise inside of a very well decorated dressing room. She is seated on a big leather chair with her microphone in hand and her legs crossed. She gets the signal from her cameraman and begins to speak.
Blaire Moise: I’m Blaire Moise and with this being the last Chaos of the year and the last show before ICONIC I decided to bring you fans an exclusive interview. Please welcome my guest, the Triple Champion here in HOW, Jace Parker Davidson.
The camera pans out to show across from Blaire is a matching black leather couch. Jace can be seen seated on the couch and separating the two of them is a glass table where the HOW ICON, LSD, and one half of the HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts are displayed. Gone are the normal theatrics and over the top cockiness. Jace is seated wearing a modest three piece suit and has a serious look on his face.
Blaire Moise: Thank you for taking the time this week for this interview. I want to start by asking how are you and how is Abdullah Choi following the attack last week by the returning Joe Bergman and PRIME wrestler Adam Ellis.
Davidson: Personally, I’m alright aside from a few bumps and bruises but the week off helped. Abdullah Choi suffered a concussion but he is expected to make a full recovery by ICONIC. Him and STRONKETTE are back in Miami tonight just resting up. We got knocked down, but as they say, we just gotta get right back up.
There is a somber tone in Jace’s voice as Blaire raises her microphone again.
Blaire Moise: You’re doing alright physically, but how are you doing mentally after what happened? Especially with the lighter and the gasoline left behind after the attack.
Jace leans forward a bit and takes a moment to think before speaking.
Davidson: Yeah, the whole circle of gasoline around our bodies and the MVW lighter left there was a message sent. They never intended to set myself or Choi on fire but they wanted to intimidate the two of us and the rest of The Final Alliance. Well, message received. You know better than anyone my disdain for anything to do with The Highwaymen, PRIME, or MVW. Did I have a hand in what happened to Joe Bergman? Fuck yeah I did. But much like a cockroach, no matter how many times you stomp on Joe Bergman he just keeps coming back to crawl all over your kitchen table. Insects are annoying that way but Bergman wanted to make an impact, he wanted to make a statement, and he accomplished that. I just hope The Highwaymen, PRIME, and MVW are ready for the response they get in return.
Blaire Moise: During the main event last week where your own tag team partner Scott Stevens was wrestling Christopher America for the HOW World Championship. You decided to come down to the ring and it seemed like you tried to help America prevent Stevens from winning the title. Obviously, I can imagine Stevens isn’t too happy about that and what does that do to your chemistry as the HOTv World Tag Team Champions? Why screw over Stevens to help America?
Jace narrows his brow and then places his elbows on his knees. Jace looks down at the Championship belts on the table as he laces his fingers together.
Davidson: My tag team partner, as you put it, was wrestling a man that I’ve been teaming with since the alignment of The Board for the biggest prize in our sport. Why wouldn’t I come down to the ring and get an up close view of that match. However, if you ask me, I didn’t screw over Scott Stevens and I didn’t help Chris America. Yes, I threw the HOW World Championship belt into the ring towards America. Yet, it was Stevens that caught it and used it against America. Outside of that, what really did I do to help America or screw over Scott Stevens? The match played out the way the match played out. America retained his title and Stevens took the loss.
Jace pauses for a moment.
Davidson: Is America mad at me for coming down to the ring during his moment and his match? Possibly, I’m not really sure. Is Scott Stevens mad at me for what he perceives as me screwing him over? Well, let me ask you, is water wet? It’s Scott Stevens, of course he’ll be fucking pissed off. But as far as chemistry goes? There is no chemistry with me and Scott Stevens. We aren’t friends, we aren’t teammates, and we don’t hang out together. What me and Scott Stevens are is a very unlikely duo that smashed together that happened to be better than Steve Harrison and Steve Solex. We are the Champions because I willed us to that victory. So, if I have to will our team to victory again and again then that’s just what I’ll have to do.
Blaire Moise: Is that the smartest idea in the world considering that instead of being booked in a one on one match against Steve Solex for the HOW LSD Championship belt. You’re not going to face Steve Solex, Joe Bergman, and Scott Stevens for your LSD Championship belt. Then right after that match you have to team together with Scott Stevens to defend the HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts against Steve Solex and Joe Bergman.
Davidson: That match was booked after the main event happened last week. So, hindsight being what it is, I might have done things a little bit different but honestly? Probably not because it honestly doesn’t change anything at all.
Jace straightens his posture then crosses one of his legs over the other.
Davidson: Lee Best loves Chaos and being that it’s the man’s birthday that match could once again change before this night is over. But being as it is currently, just look at the men involved. Scott Stevens is Scott Stevens and frankly Blaire, I’m not a teenage girl that looks at that man and thinks that I can fix him. There is no fixing Scott Stevens, so regardless of me quote unquote screwing him out of the HOW World Championship belt or not. Stevens would walk into an opportunity to take a title belt away from me and do everything in his power to make that happen regardless of the consequences. Scott Stevens is a neanderthal and I expect nothing less at ICONIC.
Jace takes a moment to adjust the Hall of Fame ring on his finger.
Davidson: Steve Solex is just along for the fucking ride honestly, now instead of getting pinned once at ICONIC, he’ll probably be pinned twice. It’s Joe Bergman that is the most serious threat in this entire thing. Joe Bergman walks around with a sense of entitlement because he’s won a title here and there. Just because he’s trained a few people, been in the business for fucking ever, been involved with MVW, and is a member of The Highwaymen that it means something. Joe Bergman is the man that helped The Highwaymen become the first ever HOTv World Tag Team Champions but he’s also the man that helped lose those belts also. But what did Joe Bergman do the moment that happened? Did he move to the back of the line? Did he roll up his sleeves and earn his way back up to a title shot? No, he DEMANDED that Lee gave him a rematch for those belts because in his opinion Lee owed him a favor.
Jace’s facial expression sours as he turns his attention back towards Blaire.
Davidson: I’m sick of Joe Bergman, I’m sick of Adam Ellis, I’m sick of MVW, I’m sick of PRIME, and I’m sick of The Highwaymen as a whole. These self-righteous shitheads walk around here whining and complaining about taking down The Board and Lee Best. They preach about making things fair and doing it for the people. They support the little man, fucking bullshit. The only people that The Highwaymen support is themselves and frankly the only reason they oppose Lee Best and The Final Alliance is because they know they can hop on a revolving door of continuous title shots. That ends tonight when GREAT SCOTT feeds Adam Ellis his own dick. That stops at ICONIC when I walk in and not only retain MY LSD Championship belt but put Stevens on my back and retain MY HOTv World Tag Team Championship belts.
Jace’s tone is more aggressive as he points down to the Championship belts on the table.
Davidson: Nothing less than winning both of those matches is acceptable. This isn’t preschool and learning how to share. This isn’t a PPV that is basically Highwaymen cowboy dress up playtime. This is ICONIC and I have always shined at ICONIC. Just like I’ve shined at every single other major HOW PPV. The LBI, won that, War Games, won that, Solitary Confinement, won that too. ICONIC having to wrestle to separate matches for two separate titles? Been there and FUCKING done that! HOW Hall of Famer, Wrestler of the Year for 2021, and holder of a majority of the Championship belts here in HOW but still. STILL doubt me, they try to mock my accomplishments and my dominance. They’ll come out here and say the same old tired worn out shit they’ve all said a hundred different times before. But I ask you, Blaire. Do any of them have a display of gold like the one you see here?
Blaire shakes her head no in response.
Davidson: Joe Bergman, Adam Ellis, and The Highwaymen would have been smarter to let a sleeping dog lie. They would have been better served to let me just coast into ICONIC on a cloud of overconfidence then just pull the rug out from under me. But nope, they had to go and make a statement. They had to pour gasoline around a man that isn’t afraid to burn this place, and all of them along with it, down to the ground. My eyes are open, my focus is set, and I’m going to end 2022 in a blaze of fucking glory.
Jace gets up off of the couch then rips the microphone clipped to his suit off and tosses it to the floor. Jace marches off as the camera focuses on Blaire.
Blaire Moise: We have to take a commercial break but we’ll be back with more Chaos in just a few minutes.
Blaire lowers her microphone and rises to her feet as we head to commercial break.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we are just days away from an epic main event for ICONIC as HOW World Champion, Christopher America takes on the leader of the Highwaymen, Clay Byrd. And for Christopher America, it’s been a journey to get back to HOW. Have a look.
The camera fades to black as we cut to a pre-tape. The scene fades in showing Alcatraz Island. We see, in brief flashes, still images of Christopher America facing Mike Best in a Solitary Confinement Match. We see the war between the two. We see Mike Best victorious. We see Mike Best holding the HOFC Championship. And we see Christopher America being helped off the island. The screen fades to black.
Christopher America: It was a humbling experience.
I had just come back…
Re-formed Ground Zero…
And lost my first match back in however many years…
I was pissed off. I was humiliated. And I had something to prove.
That man that fought against Mike that night?
He’s gone now.
The man you see before you?
We fade in to see Christopher America, sitting on an American flag chair in his America suit, with the HOW World Championship on his shoulder.
Christopher America: He’s the result of that other man’s failure.
The image now cuts to exterior shots of Chicago, Illinois. We see images of its people, it’s landmarks, and of course, the one and only Best Arena.
We see video clips of America’s return and the reveal of the Board, The scene then cuts back to America.
Christopher America: What most people don’t know is that Lee had been attempting to reach me for the better of two years to return. And each time, I turned him down. After the match with Mike, I knew I wasn’t going to come back until I was ready. Until I could ensure that I would be worthy of coming back. Until I could win.
We now see video clips of America beating Joe Bergman to qualify for War Games and ultimately winning War Games with Tyler Best.
Christopher America: And it’s been a hell of a journey. Successful defense after successful defense.
Being back, I’ve aligned myself with the family that knows me the best. The family I’ve stood alongside and opposite from. And I have delivered for them.
Whomever they want put down, I put down. Joe Bergman, Steve Solex, Jatt Starr, Bobbinette Carey, Steve Harrison, Scott Stevens.
But there have been difficulties.
I’ve had to prove myself again inside an HOFC cage. I’ve defended this against the Highwaymen in their handpicked matches, including their cowboy themed Pat-Per-View.
And against Steve Harrison, I avenged my loss at Rumble at the Rock. And while I did not conquer the island itself, I regained it’s respect.
And now, I find myself facing Clay Byrd.
This gorgeous lady sitting on my shoulder.
Since being back, I’ve accomplished everything I’ve wanted to. Greatest War Games winner in HOW history. Win at Rumble at the Rock. Walk into ICONIC as HOW World Champion. And now, there are two things left. Become the longest reigning HOW World Champion in history. And, of course, win the main event of ICONIC.
The scene now cuts to shots of America lifting weights, running in heavy sweats and ankle weights, practicing basic wrestling rolls, running the ropes, and sparring at TEN-X Wrestling Academy, while George, his eagle, wearing a red, white, and blue headband, cheers him on.
Christopher America: Ever since this match was announced, I have been training myself for this fight. I know what Clay Byrd brings. His size and strength are unmatched and unrivaled.
I know that I have to be better than Clay in every way.
Each of the Highwaymen have taught me something. Each one has brought their own unique challenges.
I had to counter Joe Bergman’s grappler, mat style wrestling and exploited his adherence to the rules.
I had to counter Steve Solex’s brawling, rage filled style and his exploited his quickness to anger.
I had to counter Steve Harrison’s technical ability and exploited his ailing body.
And I know that despite how good those men were… whatever I did to prepare for them… it isn’t enough. Not for Clay Byrd. Not for the number 1 ranked wrestler in HOW. Not for the man that manhandled Cancer Jiles, Brian Hollywood, and Frank Dylan James.
Complacency… laziness… it gets you.
The scene cuts to America drenched in sweat, eyebrows furrowed, breathing heavy, and looking down. He’s tired. His body screams in pain. Everywhere hurts.
Christopher America: I’m not going to be like them. I’m not going to repeat their mistakes.
No, I’ve done more.
I’ve gone further and higher than they have. I studied the tapes of Conor Fuse and Mike Best and GREAT SCOTT. I’ve seen what they’ve done to be successful against Clay Byrd.
The scene now shows America looking up, nodding, and pushing himself further in his training. Pumping more weights. Running the ropes harder. Jumping rope. Sparring in the ring.
Christopher America: At ICONIC, you are going to see the absolute best wrestlers in the world. The unpinned and unsubmitted World Champion, Christopher America versus the number one ranked wrestler in HOW and leader of the Highwaymen, Clay Byrd. You’re going to see a match for the ages. But don’t get it twisted. I fully plan on walking out of ICONIC the same way that I walked in.
The scene slowly closes in on America’s face.
Christopher America: STILL…. your HOW World Champion.
Because while my journey back to HOW has completed, my journey as HOW World Champion… has only just begun.
The camera tightens the shot on America’s face as we fade to black.
As the video ends we cut back to Joe Hoffman as Chaos continues…..
Joe Hoffman: Strong words from our World Champion….I cannot wait for that match at ICONIC….but first we have to get thru tonight and up next we have a match featuring two men going in different directions…….Steve Solex and Conor Fuse.
The crowd starts a “!RANK” chant, pointing in Conor’s direction as he marches towards ringside. Once in front of the squared circle, The Vintage leaps onto the apron and then with ease clears the ropes by jumping over them and somersaulting into the middle of the ring. Fuse tilts his head back and zen cries into the rafters while the fans in attendance continue to cheer him on. Conor removes his trench coat, revealing his trademarked light purple arm sleeve on his left arm. Fuse waits in his corner.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 210 pounds, he is Conor FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE!
The crowd starts a “!RANK” chant, pointing in Conor’s direction as he marches towards ringside. Once in front of the squared circle, The Vintage leaps onto the apron and then with ease clears the ropes by jumping over them and somersaulting into the middle of the ring. Fuse tilts his head back and zen cries into the rafters while the fans in attendance continue to cheer him on. Conor removes his trench coat, revealing his trademarked light purple arm sleeve on his left arm. Fuse waits in his corner.
Joe Hoffman: This match has personal written all over it and we’re just moments away at finding out just how much.
This beginning of “This Means War” by Avenged Sevenfold thumps from the sound system as the crowd explodes into a fury of boos and hisses. A montage of Steve Solex plays on the HOV, flashing on and off in rhythm with the music. As the music stalls, the HOV goes black as the lights throughout the arena go dark. A bomb like explosion blasts at the top of the entry way sending a plume of smoke up and in front of the HOV in the shape of a mushroom cloud, and at that moment the music returns and Steve Solex makes his way out from behind the curtain. The montage continues to play on the HOV as Solex stops atop the entrance ramp and pounds his chest twice with a white knuckled fist before throwing his hands high up into the air.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, hailing from Huntington Beach, California, weighing in at 252 pounds, he is STEEEEEEVE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEX!
Joe Hoffman: This match is not going to be for the faint of heart. Solex looks just rough and is looking a lot like Fuse in this situation. As I look at both of these men, neither of them can look like a shell of their former selves here tonight.
Referee Joel Hortega calls for the bell and this match is officially underway.
DING DING DING!
Out of the gates both Solex and Fuse rush to the middle of the ring as they start to throw out closed right fists at each other. Solex brings his knee up and delivers the blow straight to the abdomen of Fuse. Solex then levels in Steve’s impact before ending the offensive flurry with a DDT as Solex goes for a cover on Fuse.
Joe Hoffman: Not going to be the end there but suffice to say, Solex has the right idea as he looks to try to put this match away early. We’ll see how Conor can turn things around here.
Steve is unphased as he looked to end things early here tonight and doesn’t let his latest pinfall attempt get the best of him. Solex grabs Conor and irish whips him against the ropes as Fuse bounces off them as he comes back at Solex and delivers a stark dropkick which causes Steve to be launched at a corner turnbuckle. Conor quickly gets back to his feet before he charges at Solex and connects with a spinning heel kick which Solex to fall forward and rolls on his back as Conor drops for the cover.
Joe Hoffman: So far this match seems pretty even as the two try not to keep themselves down for so long.
Solex gets back to his feet as he sees Conor coming fast towards him. Conor goes to hit him with a missile dropkick but CONOR MISSES the kick! This causes Conor to be rocked by the bottom rope and he looks absolutely rough as Steve takes this opportunity to detain a red hot redhead. Steve then takes the opportunity to work over Fuse as he delivers several knee drops to the face of Conor. After about five drops, Solex uses the last drop with a leg drop into Conor. Solex goes for the cover.
Joe Hoffman: Some devasting knee drops there by Solex, but Conor Fuse absolutely will not quit!
Now the frustration is coming across the face of Solex. Solex is able to grapple Fuse with first, a snap suplex. Solex then follows it up with a nasty looking clothesline. Solex drops down and hooks the leg as he attempts another pinfall.
Joe Hoffman: Wow Conor kicking out again! Solex can’t possibly be happy about this!
Steve shakes his head as he attempts to call for the Solexecution.
Steve waits for Fuse to stand up but as he does, Steve goes for the Solexecution but Fuse blocks it! Just then Fuse pulls a move out from Solex and he instead connects with the Weapon Get which rocks Solex. Fuse quickly then goes for the cover.
DING DING DING!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner, in 10 minutes and twenty seconds….COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOR FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE!
Joe Hoffman: What a win for Fuse here tonight and how fitting is it that he uses Solex’s own move to grab the win here tonight! Great match by both men but in the end, Conor was able to find a way to victory!
Conor continues to celebrate in the ring as Chaos continues on.
The HOV once again comes to life as another pretape begins to play…
Our scene fades in from Steve Solex versus Conor Fuse to a random street in front of a large chain link fence with a blue tarp wrapped around the inside somewhere in Houston, Texas. Brian Bare is looking around, walking back and forth looking for something.
Brian Bare: If this idiot cowboy gave me the wrong address…
Bare says as he feels an enormous hand on his shoulder. It clamps down firmly, turning Bare sideways. He pulls Bare in close, his arm thrown around Bare’s shoulders. Brian squirms awkwardly but The Behemoth doesn’t let go.
Clay Byrd: What Brian, what were ya gonna do if I gave ya the wrong address…?
Brian Bare: Well I mean… I was gonna call you. Yeah, pick up the phone and call you, and make sure we could get to the right location to film the hype piece for Iconic. We’re supposed to be viewing your home, seeing how you’re training for the match of your life…
Clay turns with Bare towards a black early 2000’s black Ford F250. He points at it and grins.
Clay Byrd: That’s been home fer ‘bout a year now…
Brian Bare: Oh…
Clay Byrd: Here, let’s go on over with this fancy camera. We can do an episode of HOTv cribs right here. Lemme guess Brian, they sent the little girl out to America’s house, huh?
Brian Bare: Well I don’t…
Clay yanks Bare across the street to the truck, throwing the door open.
Clay Byrd: Look at this Bare. All in one, truck bench seat, seats one driver, and up to two passengers, if one is small. And, if I put the window down and kick one leg out I can sleep in it just fine.
Brian Bare: That’s nice… So… where do you train?
Clay Byrd: Oh come here, lemme show ya real quick.
Clay practically drags Bare back to the chain link fence. Clay opens the front gate and the two men walk through. A pile of scrap iron, mostly engine blocks sits in front of them. Clay hangs his hat on the mirror of a dilapidated car, and walks over putting on work gloves. He yanks one of the engine blocks down onto the ground, and The Behemoth picks up a sledge hammer.
Clay grimaces as the steel head of the sledge smashes into the iron.
Clay Byrd: Everytime I swing it Bare, I think of that pompous fucking prick.
Clay Byrd: I think of all the bullshit, all the suffering he’s put me through.
Clay Byrd: I think about what I’m going to do to him in that fucking ring.
Clay Byrd: How I’m going to rip his fucking arms off.
He shifts the sledge in his hands and looks back at a shocked Bare. He pulls his shirt off, and grabs a gallon jug of water. A quick drink and right back to it.
Clay Byrd: It’s all I think about Brian. Christopher America. The 97red belt. That’s it.
Clay Byrd: Now get the fuck out of here, before I decide to start breaking you.
The engine block splits in pieces and the head of the sledgehammer digs into the hot sand. The Behemoth bends down to reposition the engine block pieces to keep swinging, he looks up from the camera and snarls as the video fades to a conclusion as we cut to another commercial break.
We come back from commercial to find Xander Azula backstage, standing by with his Eternal Circle followers beside him…and a microphone in his hand, much to the chagrin of the Best Arena crowd who immediately start booing the Fighter before he can say a word. Xander waits for the jeers to quiet down before he begins to speak, a stern glare reflected in his tone of voice.
Xander Azula: Last week I made it very, very clear where I stand with things around here, even laid out a challenge…and I was met with silence.
A silence that is not found within this crowd, as they continue to show their disdain for the Fighter. Xander just shakes his head before continuing.
Xander Azula: I will not tolerate the silence anymore. I’ve had people accuse me of being too nice, too giving in this business…a business that just likes to take and take, until there’s nothing left of you but a shell of what you once were. This business, this company will take no more from me…because now, it’s my turn. Since no one wants to give me the time of day, I will take it from them…even if that means sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. See you at ICONIC.
With that last statement, Xander thrusts a hand against the camera, forcing the feed to cut to static as we cut elsewhere.
The scene cuts backstage to Brian Bare, live and in the flesh, and all of his gloriousness holding the microphone standing in front of a large “HOW” backdrop. Standing next to him is a man who is the personification of gloriousness. And yet, to say he just a man would be an insult to all he has accomplished. He is a motherfucking hero…..the legend stands next to the oft maligned HOW interview machine sporting his 97red and black checkered suit.
Brian Bare: Jatt Starr, over the last several weeks you have made some rather slanderous remarks regarding Joe Bergman who returned last week and had some strong remarks earlier tonight and along with Adam Ellis assaulted—-
Jatt Starr: Whoa! Wait! You said that the Mayor of ManJattan slandered Joe Bergman? That would suggest that you do not believe what the Thane of Starrkarth has said was true. In fact, you are calling the Baron of Boca Jatton a liar!
Brian Bare: No! It’s just there is no evidence to suggest that Joe Bergman contracted herpes—-
Jatt Starr: “Super herpes”, get it straight, Brian.
Brian Bare: “Super Herpes”. That is just one claim—-
Jatt Starr: These are facts! The Ruler of Jattlantis has a mountain of evidence. The Jatti Master has a copy of his eighth grade report on China. The Starrabian Knight has even uncovered a report that Joe Bergman was banned from SeaWorld for violating a dolphin! Joe Bergman is a deviant dolphin diddler! The Champion of Jattanooga should be paraded all across the media outlets for cracking that perv’s skull a few weeks ago!
Brian Bare: And yet, last week he—
Jatt Starr: Last week the world saw what kind of man Joe Bergman really is! A cowardly weasel that has been ridiculed week after week because someone finally had the dingly-dangs to expose him for all of the scumbaggery he has covered up over the years so he lashes out by attacking weak and potentially mentally unhinged individuals who are just trying to get through life by the skin of their teeth, like Scott Stevens, a man trying to do the right thing by giving their hard earned pennies to the Salvation Army and employing underpaid masseuses and giving them their “happy” holiday bonuses for putting a smile on his face.
Brian Bare: You mention Scott Stevens—-
Jatt Starr: Because he is historically the punching bag of the HOW.
Brian Bare: Well, how do you react to the news that Joe Bergman and Adam Ellis have been given a match at “ICONIC” against Jace Parker Davidson and Scott Stevens for the Tag Team Championships and if either one of them pins Jace they become the LSD Champion?
Jatt Starr: Sucks for Jace. Look, the Savior of Starrkham cannot control what Lee Best wants to do. The Hero of Jattlanta would love nothing more than to kick Joe Bergman’s dentures down his throat and hopes he chokes on them. Yeah, Joe Bergman wears dentures. He lost his teeth several years ago while he was working as a crack whore in Philadelphia. There is even a rumor that he offered to perform an act of fellatio on Bobbinette Carey for the discounted rate of five dollars. It is unclear if she accepted the offer.
Brian Bare: Uh….
Jatt Starr: Right. “ICONIC”. Lee’s choice. The Marquis of MadagaStarr will say this much…..Joe Bergman should consider himself lucky….Luckier than the time he evaded the NYPD after exposing his genitalia to a group of nuns on the subway, “The F Train Flasher”, they called him….
Brian Bare: Did that really happen?
Jatt Starr: Are you doubting the veracity of the Grand Overlord of Jatturn’s historical recap of events? Maybe you should seek out one Sister Guadalupe of the Saint Agnes Catholic Church. She had a stroke at the sight of Joe Bergman’s wonky willy which caused nerve damage on her right side….poor old lady was never able to bring her hands together to pray again. Joe Bergman will go to hell for that. And he is damned lucky that Lee Best did not decree that at “ICONIC” it would be Joe Bergman versus Jatt Starr….because the Rembrandt of Wrestling would have torn that scalawag apart at the joints and expedited his way to the fiery pits below.
Brian Bare: Well, where does that leave you?
Jatt Starr: The Jattsylvanian Count is without a match and that is perfectly fine. The Starrcelona Icon plans on watching Joe Bergman and that Fisher Price Flop, Adam Ellis get their comeuppance whilst at a luxurious ski resort with Heidi Vaccarelli, star of the 2008 cult classic “The Twelve Days of Krampusnacht”, who will be home for the holidays, where we will drink hot apple cider, make love on a bear skin rug in front of a fireplace, and laugh at the uncoordinated skiers falling down and, Lee willing, fly down the slopes with their arms flailing at record speed until run face first into a tree.
Brian Bare: Have a nice vacation?
Jatt Starr: The Starrlite Sexpress will be in the station so you it will be!
Jatt Starr gives Brian Bare an almost dismissive and disrespectful slap on the arm before heading out leaving Brian Bare by himself as the scene ends as we cut to our final commercial break of the evening.
“HOFC is dead, Xander.”
We are obviously back live and we see the CEO of High Octane Wrestling siting behind his massive desk, suited and tied like a proper executive. He looks a little bit more like his father everyday, as the gray continues to creep into a beard that has been ever growing since his retirement. He holds his hands folded neatly in front of him on the desktop, looking matter-of-factly into the camera.
Mike Best: Truth is, it’s been dead for a long time. Maybe it died with an era of HOW that just didn’t understand it’s violent simplicity, and I was trying to lead a dead horse to water and force it to drink. Maybe it died with Scott Woodson, may he rest in peace. Shit… maybe it died with Rob Michaels, if I’m being truly honest with myself. It doesn’t really matter what day the music died though, Mr. Azula. All that matters is that the levy is dry.
He looks almost sad, as he lean back a little bit in his chair. The world is wearing on him, and it shows on his brow. His estrangement from his son, who is missing in action. The lonely holiday season. Even the passing of Scott Woodson, while he might not be talking about it. His face doesn’t hide what his words manage to.
Mike Best: I can appreciate what you’ve done. I can appreciate that you spent the last year walking my unsanctioned path, and that you’ve done so much to try to keep it alive. I can appreciate that you see what I see inside of the walls of that cage. But it isn’t coming back, and whatever you think you’re gonna find at the end of this rainbow… I’m afraid that it’s going to disappoint you.
He rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly.
Mike Best: Because it sure as hell disappointed me.
He reaches beneath the desk, pulling a hulking mound of leather and gold out from somewhere underneath. The HOFC Championship lands with a satisfying thunk on the top of the wooden desk, resting directly in front of the CEO.
Mike Best: Eleven defenses. Some recognized, some not. That’s how many times I went to war in that cage since HOW came back in 2019, defending a championship that has been vacated due to lack of contenders no less than a half dozen times since it’s creation. Desperate to make it mean something this time. Desperate to be recognized for my skills in a division in which I haven’t been beaten in over 12 years. And do you know what happened?
A half smile, as sad as it is snarky.
Mike Best: It was vacated. Due to lack of contenders.
The morose in his expression disappears, replaced with the false smile of a car salesman.
Mike Best: I’m retired, Xander. Clay Byrd was the end of my road and I have never looked back. I’ve been clean and sober for three years now. I wear a suit to work every day and I’ve barely even been in front of a camera in months. I’ve found my peace, just like you’ll someday need to find yours. But this fight you want with me? The one you’ve been yelling about to anyone who will listen? It ain’t gonna fix whatever is wrong in your heart, bud.
The fake smile becomes a very real smirk.
Mike Best: …but it might fix what’s wrong in mine.
The CEO cracks his knuckles, loosening his tie from around his neck and letting his posture relax. He looks… comfortable. Maybe for the first time in a long time.
Mike Best: You want me in the cage at ICONIC? Alright, fuck it. One last rodeo. Mike Best versus Xander Azula, HOFC rules… for the HOFC Championship. But let me warn you, Xander… you aren’t facing the Son of God.
His eyes narrow.
A predator appears.
Mike Best: You’re facing the God of War.
CHAOS rolls on.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back everyone and as you can see, the steel cage has come down for our main event.
A quick cut to the ring shows the steel cage surrounding the ring.
Joe Hoffman: As you know, Lee Best was furious when Adam Ellis signed on with PRIME right after the Dead or Alive pay-per-view show and the series of news stories and Twitter tweets this past week illustrate those feelings have not abated over the past few months. PRIME’s President and CEO Lindsay Troy and two of her security people were denied entrance into the Best Arena tonight SPECIFICALLY via Lee Best’s instructions. This all started when Adam Ellis made a surprising return to the Best Arena last week.
(HOW’s Chaos 017 Show)
Standing in Section 214 of the Best Arena, Adam Ellis, Ginny Van Lear, Lindsay Troy, and Dametreyus.
Adam Ellis: Well, I can honestly say that I was not expecting the call I got yesterday.
Adam cracks a wry grin at the reception he’s getting from the HOW diehards inside the Best Arena. The Queen of the Ring simply smirks.
Adam Ellis: I was in Dallas, Texas finishing up my first week of training since mid-October. I’ve been out of action for the past few weeks due to a family medical emergency. Ms. Troy reached me where I was working out and she advised that Lee Best’s office had contacted her about offering me a chance to wrestle GREAT SCOTT for the HOTv title.
Most of the Best Arena boos Ellis while the people in Section 214 do their best to drown them out with cheers.
Joe Hoffman: Later in the show, Ellis joined Bergman and took out Jace Parker Davidson, Abdullah Choi, and then Scott Stevens. We’ve heard from Ellis, Lee, Missouri Valley Wrestling owner Ray McAvay, and then earlier tonight- Bergman. Friday night at PRIME’s ReVival 20, Adam’s wife Ginny Van Lear waded into the fray.
(PRIME’S ReVival 20- Friday Night)
Ginny takes the microphone from Adam because she also has a few things on her mind.
Ginny Van Lear: Ahm mad as a hornet and I got a few words for that Lee Best fella. Lee’s fit to be tied and got his dander up about my Adam going to PRIME. Well, if Lee really wanted Adam Ellis tuh wrestle fer you, he’all sure had a funny way uh showin it. Adam wrestled in HOW an won thuh tag title but dun y’all offer him a contract? Hell no. You wuz willin tuh let him work from his MVW contract an reap thuh benefits uh havin Adam wrassle on your TV show. If y’all really wanted Adam, then y’all should have offered him a deal. The early bird gets the worm and you sure didn’t offer Adam a deal. Ms. Lindsay Troy did and because Adam ain’t dumber than a coal bucket, he took it! You made your bed, baldy, now lay in it.
Joe Hoffman: PRIME’s Richard Parker also weighed in on their show and said Ellis would be better off wrestling matches in PRIME to build up experience before he takes on someone at GREAT SCOTT’s level. He feels Adam is walking into a no-win situation Sunday night. Can Adam prove him wrong?
Garrett Biggs’ “Mama Didn’t Raise No…” plays over the sound system and on the video screen, a video plays showing a series of wrestling trophies on a dresser next to an old high school football uniform that has ‘Ellis’ on the back.
Joe Hoffman: We’re about to get the answer to that question.
An acoustic guitar plays and the vocals begin.
“Mama didn’t raise no… quitter- guaranteed to get the job done.”
Adam Ellis and Ginny Van Lear walk out from the back hand in hand and stand on the stage.
“She didn’t raise no SOB who that can’t back himself up – been known to throw a good punch.”
The video screen shows a series of action shots of Ellis from his various matches.
“And this ol’ boy gets going when the going gets tough- sundown to sun up.”
Dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, and her feet wrapped in tape the former MMA prodigy nods her head causing her bright red hair to flip, and raises her left hand…
“Need a man with a helping hand – he’s always got one to lend.”
…and then brings it down as the chorus and full instrumentation hits- complete with pyro.
“Oh, I might be a little rough around the edges”
Adam’s wearing a pair of plain blue wrestling shorts. He starts forward down the ramp towards the ring followed by Van Lear, LT, and the rest of the PRIME crew on hand.
“From the outside lookin’ in it might seem helpless.”
The couple reaches the steel cage. Adam steps through the door and climbs into the ring.
“I’ve been blessed with a strong backbone – I never coulda made it on my own”
Adam climbs up the top turnbuckle and holds up his arms
“But if there’s one thing that I know – Momma didn’t raise no…”
“I’M THE GREATEST” BY RINGO STARR BLASTS THROUGHOUT THE T-MOBILE ARENA AS THE CROWD STANDS ON THEIR FEET. GREAT SCOTT COMES DOWN TO THE RING WITH HIS CHAMPIONSHIP BELT AND A BEAR WHO IS GREAT NAMED GREAT BEAR.
Joe Hoffman: And here comes the HOTv Champion- GREAT SCOTT.
THEY ARE LISTENING TO THE WHOLE CROWD CHEER AND THEN GREAT SCOTT STEPS THROUGH THE DOOR TO GET INTO THE RING AND THE BEAR DOES A COOL DANCE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING AND GREAT SCOTT IS VERY OVER.
Joe Hoffman: Last week, GREAT SCOTT defeated Brian Hollywood to retain the HOTv title… but not before Hollywood’s very impressive showing in the ring nearly ended his title run.
Bryan McVay steps to the center of the ring for the formal introduction.
Joe Hoffman: All right. Let’s go to Bryan McVay in the ring.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is for THE HOTv CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
McVay pauses as the Best Arena crowd cheers.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, the challenger.
Bryan McVay: Born and raised in Warrensburg, Missouri but currently residing in Greenville, Texas. Weighing in tonight at 225 pounds… please welcome… ADAM! ELLLLLLLLL-LIS!
Joe Hoffman: The hardcore Best Arena faithful have sided with Lee Best over the youngster Adam Ellis.
Quick cut to Section 214, they are all on their feet and trying to make as much noise as they can.
Joe Hoffman: While Section 214 is firmly behind Ellis.
Bryan McVay: Bryan McVay: And his opponent…
Bryan McVay: From The Greater Metro Area of Great Falls, Montana. Weighing in tonight at 276 lbs. He is the reigning HOTV CHAMPION! He is GRRRRREAT! SCOTTTTTT!
Joe Hoffman: This could be a big night for GREAT SCOTT. A win makes the total amount of successful HOTv title defenses eight and that would tie him with a former HOTv champion who shall not be named. A win for Adam Ellis tonight would make him the HOTv champion and certainly give a huge boost to his career. But the big question is this- Adam Ellis hasn’t wrestled in two months. Can Ellis hang with GREAT SCOTT?
Referee Matt Boettcher does the final pre-match check of both men. He signals to the timekeeper. The timekeeper rings the bell…
…and this match is underway.
GREAT SCOTT races across the ring… ELLIS ROLLS HIM UP!
T- Kickout by GREAT SCOTT sends Ellis airborne into the corner turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: Adam Ellis caught GREAT SCOTT by surprise with the roll-up but the incredible power GREAT SCOTT possesses sent Ellis flying into the turnbuckle… HARD.
GREAT SCOTT rushes in and tries to boot Ellis in the groin… Ellis scrambles out of harm’s way and…
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT punts the bottom turnbuckle instead.
Ellis springs up and jumps on GREAT SCOTT’S back. He pulls the bigger man down and drives both knees into the square of his back.
Joe Hoffman: LUNG BLOWER! GREAT SCOTT DOWN!
Ellis quickly covers.
TWO- GREAT SCOTT’s kick out produced enough force to send Ellis all the way across the ring.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT AGAIN SENDS ELLIS HURTLING ACROSS THE RING!
Ellis is quickly back up to his feet. GREAT SCOTT also gets up to his feet.
Joe Hoffman: Ellis is the aggressor early on.
Ellis sets himself and pauses. Then he shoots out his leg with his foot aimed at GREAT SCOTT’S jaw.
Joe Hoffman: SUPERKICK…
GREAT SCOTT sidesteps.
Joe Hoffman: …MISSES!
GREAT SCOTT tries to kick Ellis in the balls but the challenger slides to the side and hammers Ellis with a forearm shot to the neck- puts Ellis’s head between his legs- lifts-… GREAT SCOTT BOMB!
Joe Hoffman: The ring is still shaking from the thunderous GREAT SCOTT BOMB! Adam Ellis made a rookie mistake there. He took way too much time lining up that superkick and you can’t do that with GREAT SCOTT!
GREAT SCOTT pitches Ellis into the side of the steel cage.
Joe Hoffman: And GREAT SCOTT is back to trying to… and I quote from him this past week… turning his outie into an innie and sterilizing Adam Ellis like surgical equipment.
GREAT SCOTT drags up Ellis and whips him with great force to the corner. Ellis slumps down- GREAT SCOTT drags him up again and chucks him corner to corner again even harder! Fans boo but Karter grins as he stalks Darby to the corner. GREAT SCOTT yanks Ellis up and BUCKLE BOMBS into the corner turnbuckle. Ellis slumps down. GREAT SCOTT pulls him back up and sets him up in the corner.
Joe Hoffman: He’s got Ellis set up…
Once again, GREAT SCOTT swings his mighty right leg- Ellis drops to a seated position- GREAT SCOTT’S foot misses its intended target.
Joe Hoffman: …but again he misses the dick kick… and yes, I can’t believe I just said that.
Enraged, GREAT SCOTT rams Ellis’s head into the side of the steel cage! He does it a second time… third time… and a fourth time. Ellis staggers around the ring. *SMACK*
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT MUZIK!
Unlike Ellis’s attempt earlier, GREAT SCOTT’S superkick finds its mark and Ellis collapses to the mat. GREAT SCOTT hooks the leg.
Joe Hoffman: ELLIS GETS A SHOULDER UP!
The Best Arena fans are pleased so far and they rally up harder for GREAT SCOTT as he stalks Adam Ellis. The Section 214 folks are decidedly not pleased at what they are watching. GREAT SCOTT clubs away at Ellis driving him to the mat. Then he throws knee after knee to Ellis. Cover.
Joe Hoffman: Again, Adam Ellis JUST gets a shoulder up in the nick of time.
GREAT SCOTT drags Ellis back up again.
Joe Hoffman: Ellis’s legs have turned to jello and he’s in big trouble.
Double underhook by GREAT SCOTT… THE SCOTTAGREE!
Joe Hoffman: The double underhook facebuster should be the end of Adam Ellis. Did he make a big mistake by allowing Lee Best to entice him into a match he probably wasn’t ready for?
GREAT SCOTT covers…
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT sits Ellis up. He clearly could have had the three count but he pulled him up- HE’S GOING TO TRY TO KICK HIM IN THE DI-
The sound of a female voice shouting at GREAT SCOTT pierces the air.
Joe Hoffman: WHAT! Did Ginny Van Lear just yell something at GREAT SCOTT?
Outside the cage, the former MMA prodigy shoots GREAT SCOTT a look, and not just any look, mind you… a STERN LOOK OF EXTREME DISAPPROVAL!
A puzzled GREAT SCOTT glances at her and wonders why she’s yelling at him.
Joe Hoffman: Ginny Van Lear distracted GREAT SCOTT just as he was about to follow through on his vow to turn Adam Ellis’s outie into an innie.
Ellis comes back to life and swings his leg around in an attempt to trip up the champion and get him off his feet…
Joe Hoffman: …ELLIS TRIES TO SWEEP GREAT SCOTT’S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM!
…and it’s not happening. The HOTv Champion is unmoved and GREAT SCOTT dips his head slightly and locks in a glare on his opponent.
Joe Hoffman: ELLIS’S LAST THROW OF THE DICE FAILS AND NOW GREAT SCOTT IS GIVING HIM THE GLARE!
Not just any glare mind you… GREAT SCOTT has locked in the angry glare.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT’S GIVING ADAM ELLIS THE ANGRY GLARE HE MENACINGLY GIVES HIS OPPONENT AND EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT’S UP!
Especially the crowd when GREAT SCOTT drives a boot to the head of Ellis and pulls him up to an unsteady vertical base. GREAT SCOTT runs to the ropes and leaps off the middle rope…
Joe Hoffman: HERE HE COMES!
…spins and his legs land on Ellis’s shoulders… as Ellis’s legs begin to give out, GREAT SCOTT spins to the side- locks his thick ankles around Adam’s neck- and with a mighty swing of the legs sends him flying across the ring.
Joe Hoffman: SCOTTACANRANA!!! SCOTTACANRANA!!!
GREAT SCOTT slides in to hook Ellis’s legs. Boettcher slides in for the count.
Joe Hoffman: AND GREAT SCOTT RETAINS THE HOTv TITLE FOR THE EIGHTH TIME!
Bryan McVay: Your winner at nine minutes and forty-three seconds… AND STILL THE HOTv CHAMPION! GRRRRRRREAT! SCOTTTTTT!
Referee Matt Boettcher raises GREAT SCOTT’s arm in victory.
Joe Hoffman: So Lee Best will be very happy tonight. GREAT SCOTT successfully defended the HOTv title for the eighth time and he defeated Adam Ellis- whom Lee is still upset with after Ellis signed with PRIME- in the process. Adam Ellis’s inexperience- and most of all his lack of in-ring action over the past two months- really cost him tonight and GREAT SCOTT made him pay dearly.
As the steel cage slowly climbs to the top of the Best Arena we get a shot of the HOTv Champion holding the belt high in the air as the Chicago faithful cheer him on…..
ALL attention turns towards the entrance ramp as THAT music hits….
Lee slowly makes his way out from the back and immediately brings his microphone to his lips and his music and the Chicago faithful immediately go silent as the GOD of HOW is not wasting any time.
Lee Best: I sat back there tonight and watched Joe Bergman and other assholes keep my name in their mouths and ASSUME they know exactly what I think and feel. First off…FUCK ALL YA’LL.
The Chicago crowd immediately begin chanting…
FUCK ALL YALL
FUCK ALL YALL
FUCK ALL YALL
Lee slowly raises his hand up and the crowd silences.
Lee Best: I heard both Joe and Jatt talk about how they would be seeing each other in 2023….well guess what….2023 is promised to NO ONE……and as much as I LOVE me some Jatt Starr……we are NOT WAITING for 2023……no no no……I started this PPV period booking Jatt vs. Bergman at ICONIC and motherfuckers I am getting what I wanted…
Back in the ring we see a now standing, albeit barely, Adam Ellis looking on as GREAT SCOTT can be seen standing at the base of the entrance ramp…HOTv Championship in hand.
Lee Best: That is right….I am GETTING Joe and Jatt in the ring together at ICONIC…….and you are probably asking HOW?
Lee smirks at his play on words as if folks can hear the capital letters in his voice.
Lee Best: Jatt Starr will join Joe Bergman in the LSD Championship match and as soon as that match is concluded Jatt Starr will pivot, put on the stripes, and will be the referee for the High Octane Television Tag Team Championship match pitting Steve Solex and Joe Bergman against the champions Scott Stevens and Jace Parker Davidson………sorry Jatt……your vacation can wait…HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!
The crowd INSTANTLY begins to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lee as the God of HOW can only smirk as he drops the microphone and heads to the back as the last Chaos of 2022 comes to a close with the crowd still cheering.