Event Date: October 16, 2022
#13 Brian Hollywood vs. #19 Darin Zion
Joe Hoffman: Hello everyone and welcome to HOW Chaos! We’re just a couple weeks away from Rumble at the Rock, and the crowd here in San Francisco is eagerly looking forward to the gates of Alcatraz opening once more for what could be a wild night…but before we get there, we have a big show in store tonight! GREAT SCOTT defends the HOTv Championship against the last of his Egg Bandit…rivals…in our main event, where the former World Champion looks to add to a collection of titles he started a few weeks ago in PRIME.
We see Bryan McVay and Joel Hortega make their way to the ring, gearing up for the first bout of the night as Hoffman continues.
Joe Hoffman: The Board is in action as they look to take on their respective rivals ahead of our PPV event, as America and JPD take on Steve Harrison and Bobbinette Carey and STRONK teams with John Sektor to take on Conor Fuse and Jatt Starr…and in our opening contest? We see Brian Hollywood try to bounce back with a win over the returning Darin Zion…I think. Let’s head to the ring to clear this up, folks!
At ringside, we see Hortega ready to ref this first match as Bryan McVay speaks up for the first of the ring announcements!
Bryan McVay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
The opening chords of REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You” hit over the PA system. On the HOV, a giant heart appears to beat to the song.
♫ You should have seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was somethin’ missin’ ♫
Emerging from the locker room is REAL LOVE Darin Zion, decked out in a pink and purple robe. The words REAL LOVE are printed on the back in sequins. The sequins sparkle in the pink spotlight hitting the smug HOW superstar while he strolls down to the ring…except that he’s not alone. Standing beside him is a man with red-dyed hair standing six foot four, looking quite hefty in his navy blue tights and singlet. The pair continue their journey as Zion’s music continues.
♫ And I’m gonna keep on lovin’ you
‘Cause it’s the only thing I want to do
I don’t want to sleep, I just want to keep on lovin’ you ♫
Joe Hoffman: Ah, just as I suspected…the rumor mill has been buzzing that Zion, who considers himself to still be out of action with injury, went and found himself a replacement in one Maximum Mark Magnum. The thing is, folks, Magnum here does not have a contract with either HOW or the PWA, so I don’t think such a replacement is going to stick tonight.
As the pair enter the ring, we see Zion immediately going to McVay with a card revealing the stats for Magnum…but McVay just shakes his head, as Hortega does his best to explain to Zion what’s happening before McVay speaks up again.
Bryan McVay: From San Diego, California, weighing in at 220 pounds…he is REAAAAAAAAAL LOOOOOVE…DAAAAARIN ZIIIIIIIOOOOON!!!!
Zion does not look pleased about the announcement, arguing with Hortega as “Stronger On Your Own” by Disturbed blares over the PA.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 225 pounds…BRIIIIIIAAAAN HOLLYWOOOOOOOOD!
Hollywood slowly walks from the back and takes center stage as he stands there for a few brief moments, closing his eyes. He reigns in the boos from the crowd as he gets in final mental preparation for his upcoming match. As Hollywood opens up his eyes, pyro shoots off in opposite corners of the stage as it makes its way to center stage. As the pyro hits the center, the camera zooms in to see the reflection in Hollywood’s eyes as he finally makes his way down the ramp, quickly taking off his vest and throwing it down with intensity.
Joe Hoffman: It looks to me like Hollywood does not care if it’s Zion or Magnum he’s facing, he’s ready to take on whoever he can!
Hollywood makes his final push as he charges the ring, rolling under the ropes. He gets back to his feet and looks about the entire arena glaring at the fans before he takes his place in the corner turnbuckle before turning his gaze intently in the ring as he awaits for the bell. Zion, however, is still arguing with Hortega right until the ref calls for the bell to start the match!
Zion is immediately blindsided by a ferocious Hollywood at the bell, as the Executive sends REAL LOVE flying to the corner before laying in some hard stomps to the midsection! Hollywood refuses to let up until Hortega intercedes, counting to four (well, cuatro) before Hollywood finally backs away from the corner, egging Zion on to fight him. Zion, however, shakes his head in defiance of the Executive as he retreats to his own corner where Magnum is standing by, and the pair converse on a change in strategy…much to the annoyance of Hollywood, who grabs Zion by the arm before sending him to the ropes with an Irish whip!
Hollywood looks for a clothesline on the rebound, but Zion ducks it, using the opposite ropes for momentum before sliding underneath Hollywood, still trying to avoid any offense…which only infuriates Hollywood further, as he manages to grab Zion’s arm once again, this time pulling REAL LOVE in for a real painful DDT that sends Zion headfirst into the canvas! Hollywood doesn’t seem to be finished however, as he begins some mounted punches to the downed Darin…until Zion finally shoves him off, rolling out of the ring to take a breather!
Zion is favoring where he was injured previously, still angry at the thought of having to compete in this match…but as the seconds tick away, it becomes more evident he has no choice in the matter. Especially with a man as angry as Hollywood hitting the ropes for momentum, using the speed to hit a big dive through the ropes to the outside…laying out Zion and himself in the process!
Joe Hoffman: What a dive by Hollywood! It looks like he’s really putting the pressure on Zion to get over whatever is keeping him from getting involved tonight, whether it’s his injury or just stubborness about facing Hollywood once again here…but you can’t help but wonder if and when Zion is going to strike back in retaliation, especially at the rate this is going!
With both men down on the outside and Magnum watching on in a bit of panic, Hortega is compelled to start the count…
We see Hollywood the first to begin stirring, slowly coming to as we see Magnum heading around the ring to check on Zion while the count continues on.
Hollywood is finally on his feet as we see Magnum trying to help Zion back up as well, starting to pull REAL LOVE up by the arm!
Zion is finally starting to get to a kneeling position with some help from Magnum, but Hollywood shoves the big man away, shouting at Magnum before grabbing Zion by the head and arm to force his old friend to a vertical base…
…only to send REAL LOVE crashing into the steel post with a thud! Hollywood immediately rolls into the ring…and back out, before Hortega can continue the count. This gives Hollywood a chance to continue the attack, but he’s stopped by Magnum trying to help Zion out in a bind.
Hortega, however, has had more than enough of Zion’s mentor and ally of the night trying to get involved in a match he has no business being in, eventually declaring that the master of Maximum Effort has been ejected from ringside, much to the delight of the crowd and the chagrin of Magnum!
Joe Hoffman: Well now, so much for that plan! I guess we won’t be seeing much of Maximum Mark Magnum here tonight, despite Zion’s best efforts to sub him in against his old tag team partner and rival here!
The crowd starts chanting “na na na nah, hey hey, good bye” as Magnum and Hortega argue over Magnum’s continued involvement, a futile effort for the Maximum One as Mark finally accepts the order of the referee, taking his leave up the ramp. Hollywood watches in amusement as Magnum finally steps through the entrance way to head to the back.
Eager to continue the attack uninterrupted now, Hollywood slams the arm of Zion against the steel steps for further damage before walking up the steps…and stomping away at the arm, causing Zion to yell in pain as Hortega shouts at Hollywood to stop the attack!
Joe Hoffman: Well now it’s starting to be obvious exactly what Hollywood has in mind here! He’s trying to weaken…or possibly, even break…that arm of Zion’s, to limit his offense and try to really hurt the man he once won the HOW Tag Team Championship with!
Hollywood finally lets up on the attack, but only to drag Zion back into the ring where he looks to go to work on the arm some more. He starts twisting the arm, eventually turning the move into an armbar…but Zion manages to slip out before the armbar is cinched in tight!
The violence from Hollywood is finally starting to get to Zion, making REAL LOVE real mad as he dodges an attack from Hollywood…sending the Executive into the corner, before connecting with a corner splash! Hollywood crashes to the canvas as Zion checks his arm, making note of his range of motion before stomping at the head of Hollywood as a measure of revenge from earlier.
He brings Hollywood back to his feet, only to send him to the ropes with an Irish whip…and connects with a clothesline of his own, dropping the Executive to the canvas! But, in his haste to get back at Hollywood, Zion used his bad arm for the clothesline…and he’s really feeling it now, as he leans against the back rope grabbing his arm. Hollywood makes it back to a standing position and, noticing how hurt Zion is, makes a beeline for that arm as he pulls Zion to the mat, looking for another armbar attempt…this time locking it in!
Hollywood has the hold in tight, causing Zion a world of hurt as he reaches out for the ropes…but he starts to fade, and his shoulders drop to the mat. Hortega sees this and makes the count!
Zion gets a shoulder back up to stay in this match, and slowly starts using his feet to crawl toward the nearest rope he can find…almost scratching and clawing his way toward freedom, before finally getting a hold of the bottom rope, which forces Hollywood to break the hold! Hollywood gets back on his feet, staring down his target as Zion uses the ropes to stand himself back up.
This pleases Hollywood, no doubt looking to inflict more punishment as the old rivals start trading lefts and rights, the pain Zion is in seeming to do him in as Hollywood starts to get the advantage…until Zion catches him by surprise with a kick to the gut, nearly doubling the Executive over with the force!
Zion stands him back up straight before laying in some hard knife edge chops, making sure to use his good arm to avoid aggravating the injury further before giving Hollywood another kick…which Hollywood blocks by grabbing the leg, only for Zion to connect with an enziguri that sends Hollywood crashing to the canvas once more!
Joe Hoffman: Wow! Zion’s anger apparently helping guide him through the pain here, as he really starts to take the fight back to Hollywood!
With his old “frienemy” down for the count, Zion looks to lock in what he calls the Love Handle…but as Hollywood starts to squirm around to fight out of it, Zion comes to realize that the pain in his arm is too much, and he can’t keep that Rings of Saturn-esque hold locked in for long! Zion rolls away from Hollywood, clutching his arm in pain as Hollywood slowly gets back to his feet once again, smirking at the sight of Zion’s struggle as REAL LOVE finally makes it back to a standing position himself.
Seeing the opening he needs, Hollywood charges at Zion, hoping to connect with the Executive Decision to put REAL LOVE away for good tonight…but Zion manages to narrowly avoid the big kick to the head, causing Hollywood to crash into the corner instead! Hollywood has enough fight left in him to try and turn things back around here, as he heads back to Zion and grabs him by the neck, looking to take him down with the Paper Cut…but Zion manages to counter out of it! Hollywood turns back to face Zion, but is spun right back around as Zion uses the good arm to grab the Executive in a headlock before driving him down to the canvas!
Joe Hoffman: TOUGH LOVE CONNECTS! Zion managing to drop Hollywood down hard with that headlock driver, could Zion have this one done and dusted tonight?
Hollywood looks down and out, as Zion slowly rolls him onto his back before making the cover as Hortega makes the count!
Zion’s done it tonight, and he’s not even sure he can believe it as Hortega calls for the bell!
DING DING DING
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pinfall in fifteen minutes…REAL LOOOVE…DAAARIIIIIIN ZIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOON!
Hortega helps Zion up to his feet before raising his arm in victory…but Zion pulls it back, revealing it was the bad arm as he clutches it in pain. Realizing the error, Hortega raises the other arm instead as we cut to Hoffman at commentary!
Joe Hoffman: What a win for Darin Zion in our opening match here tonight! The man did not want to even compete in light of his injury and personal issues against Hollywood, but when push comes to shove the victory goes to REAL LOVE!
Magnum runs down the ramp from backstage to help Zion exit the ring, as we see an angry Hollywood coming to inside the ring before we cut away!
We cut somewhere backstage of the Chase Center as we see Blaire Moise and the Demi-God of HOW, Scott Stevens, standing by.
Blaire Moise: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, Scott Stevens.
The audience immediately boos Stevens, but the Texan doesn’t seem impressed by his introduction and says something Blaire in a very stern tone and she just rolls her eyes.
Blaire Moise: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, The Demi-God of HOW, Scott Stevens!
The devilish smile returns to Stevens’ face as the jeers grow louder.
Scott Stevens: Next time you disrespect me like that again Blaire I’ll donate my tithes and offer a back hand across that smart mouth of yours.
Scott warns her as he rubs his hands together.
Blaire Moise: Touch me and you’re fired.
Blaire replies defiantly and Stevens simply chuckles as he slowly lowers his signature 97 Red sunglasses.
Scott Stevens: Blaire, you forget who I am. I’m the Senior Advisor to GOD himself!!!
He leans in.
Scott Stevens: So that means don’t forget who can get who fired here now.
Stevens reminds her as he slides his glasses back onto his face as her cheeks get red with anger.
Blaire Moise: Whatever!
She blurts out before calming herself.
Blaire Moise: You asked for this time so what is on your mind?
Scott Stevens: Everyone.
Stevens replies and Blaire looks confused.
Blaire Moise: Everyone? What do you me?
Blaire asks and Stevens nods.
Scott Stevens: Everyone has my name in their mouth as of late except one.
Stevens states with utter distain as he starts pound his fist into his hand.
Scott Stevens: Bobbinette Carey.
The crowd cheers.
Scott Stevens: My little buddy, Jace Parker Davidson.
The crowd boos.
Scott Stevens: Brian Hollywood.
The crowd gives a mixed reaction.
Scott Stevens: Xander Azula.
The crowd gives another missed reaction.
Scott Stevens: Conor Fuse.
The crowd goes berserk and begin to chant iRank! Over and over and the Texan doesn’t seem impressed.
Scott Stevens: Everyone of these individuals claiming to have put me down.
Stevens points to himself.
Scott Stevens: Everyone of these individuals who think they are better than me.
Blaire interrupts the Demi-God.
Blaire Moise: Well they have beaten you recently, so…..
Stevens sighs and shakes his head.
Scott Stevens: Blaire, you’ve been in this company long enough to see even the greatest fall. Not every Hall of Famer is invincible. Not every champion is undefeated. Everyone has a bad night. The great Christopher America can’t solve the David Black paradox when it comes to singles matches, but you put them in a War Games, HOFC, Stable Wars, Solitary Confinement and anything else and I’m taking America one hundred percent of the time because he is better than David Black. David Black’s greatest enemy is social media while Christopher America writes symphonies of 750 words or less in between cutting promos to bash his opponents. Everyone has a kryptonite, but it doesn’t mean any of these individuals are better than me because if they were they would’ve been chosen by HIM and instilled and empowered with the responsibilities that I have been given.
Stevens informs Blaire as he stares daggers into her before turning back to the camera.
Scott Stevens: However, there is one name missing from this swah-ray!
Stevens enunciates before taking the microphone from Blaire.
Scott Stevens: Scott Woodson.
The crowd bursts into cheers and begins to chant the Hardcore Artist’s name.
Scott Stevens: You filth can chant his name all you want because that pussy isn’t here.
The crowd immediately boos and chants Scott’s favorite chant.
Scott Stevens: Fuck you too! Fucking filth!
The jeers become deafening.
Scott Stevens: The last time we saw Scotty he was getting thrown around like a red-dreaded stepchild courtesy of STRONK. Then, ever since I stalked the Woodson family and beat Ben Reeves within an inch of his life Scottywood has gone radio silent. Where the fuck are you?
Stevens puts it bluntly.
Scott Stevens: I’ve been here waiting for you to pop up out of the shadows and show some of that fire I know you have, but NOTHING!!!
Stevens shouts with disgust in his voice.
Scott Stevens: I heard you were so fucking embarrassed that you extradited yourself to Europe seeking asylum from me because you know at Rumble at the Rock I am going to put you down just like HE put down that bitch Kostoff!
Stevens motions for the camera to zoom in as he lowers his glasses.
Scott Stevens: Once the final chapter in the Book of Scottywood is put down to rest and is dead and buried once and for all you all have no choice but to acknowledge me, but more importantly, you have no choice but to acknowledge the House of Best!
Stevens puts the exclamation on his statement before slowly pushing his glasses back over his eyes and looking towards the heavens.
Scott Stevens: In the name of the Father, the Sons, and the HOly FC. Praised be to the House of Best and praised be to Lee mother fucking Best!
Stevens says as he hands the microphone to Blaire before exiting.
Ride or Die
We now cut to the outside of The Chase Center here in San Francisco. Nothing can be seen other than the color magenta. As we slowly zoom out we see it’s the magenta golf cart from last week. We see there’s an occupant of the golf cart leaning on the steering wheel deep in thought. That individual is none other than the Queen of Epicness HOW Hall of Famer Bobbinette Carey. Bobbinette’s hair flows freely around her shoulder as she has on a magenta blazer with a black Cami under the blazer. It is tucked into a pair of magenta pants with a pair of black flats. The broken barbed wire wrapped Kendo Sticks that belonged to her friends are in the back seat of the golf cart. She sits up collecting her thoughts and taking a deep breath before looking at the camera.
Bobbinette: Jace Parker Davidson….
She can hear the boos from the mention of his name from inside of the arena.
Bobbinette: I said when the attempt was made on my life you weren’t smart enough to be the person. I completely excluded you. I said you weren’t smart enough… and I was right.
She puts up her index finger pausing.
Bobbinette: I was absolutely right you were not smart enough to do it. Because you didn’t do it alone. It took two “men.”
She uses her fingers as air quotes.
Bobbinette: And you still both failed. I didn’t actually do anything to either of you but show Stronk kindness. And because of my compassion, my kindness; you two felt the need to attempt to kill me.
Her face looks off with reflection.
Bobbinette: All because I messed with your money, not because you too genuinely care. It’s because of your profit margins. That shows what type of disgusting human beings you two are. Manipulating a poor innocent man and lying and killing innocent animals to frame me for it? All because I cut into your STRONKUMMS value? The saddest thing is, Jace, if you were doing this from a place of compassion that would be one thing… even noble if it was a place of genuine concern. But nothing about you is genuine. You couldn’t stand the fact that I caught his eye and maybe you would lose your muscle… he’s an intimidating creature to have on your side. And you knew without that you’d be exposed. Exposed because outside of the ring you’re a friendless piece of shit.
The crowd explodes hearing the normally conservative spoken Queen of Epicness swearing about JPD.
Bobbinette: You’re a shell of a human being. You’re a narcissist, you don’t understand human feelings. Just ask Madison.
Her eyes widen as she makes an “oops” like expression.
Bobbinette: You couldn’t do it alone, you needed other people to make me miserable. So, the Mom squad and I while having some drinks in Vegas decided let’s see how he does without anybody there with him. And until STRONK showed up, you were getting beat up by me and two housewives.
Bobbinette starts chuckling at this.
Bobbinette: You couldn’t hold your own against housewives! The show was over, there were no fans nearby, so of course I was going to do my best to make sure you were weak for Rumble at the Rock. To make sure that if by chance we would be in the ring tonight you would be weak. You wanted to weaken me emotionally and mentally? I can only repay that back by weakening you physically.
She takes a deep breath flipping her hair over her shoulder with a large smile.
Bobbinette: You broke something in me… for that there is only one thing to do. Heal. We all heal in different ways, and do that I have to break you even more. I busted you open and I understood what blood lust was for a minute. Well, watching the barbed wire rip away at you, I got it. Something connected in my brain that just didn’t want to stop until you were not recognizable anymore.
Her arms go around herself as she sits back in the golf cart. Her eyes look at the broken kendo sticks.
Bobbinette: If it wasn’t for STRONK, you wouldn’t be at the show tonight. I’m not worried about him. Conor’s got that covered. Conor Fuse…
She smiles as the crowd pops at the mention of the beloved gamer.
Bobbinette: The man proved he’s a ride or die. He is a true partner and a true hero. That’s the difference between you and almost everybody outside of wrestling; they have morals and values. You’re a depraved individual who is only around for someone until the convenience wears off. I know once the novelty with STRONK is gone then you’ll be too. Because that’s the type of trash you are. But see, I’m going to show everyone what you do to trash tonight and if you should make it out? I’ll finish it at Rumble at the Rock. You think having a near-death experience would have humbled someone, no, with you it was the opposite so therefore I need to finish what the grim reaper didn’t.
Bobbinette licks her lips as a grin spreads across her face.
Bobbinette: I’m not saying I’m going to kill you, but I’m going to make you wish that you died months ago. Tonight is a glimpse of what I am going to do to you. You started something that you won’t be able to finish.
Bobbinette grips the steering wheel of the golf cart tightly as we head to commercial break.
The Board vs. Conor Fuse and Jatt Starr
Coming back from commercial break we focus on the ringside area here in The Chase Center. The crowd might not be sold out but it is definitely electric saying as how this is the last Chaos event before Rumble at the Rock. The camera scans the crowd before coming to a rest at the announcers table where Joe Hoffman is ready to keep the show rolling.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to Chaos here live from San Francisco and it’s time for our first of two tag team matches here tonight. Opponents at Rumble at the Rock on either side of this contest as friends Jatt Starr and Conor Fuse team together to take on the formidable members of The Board in John Sektor and STRONK Godson. Should be a good one, let’s send it over to Bryan McVay!
The camera shifts to the center of the ring where Bryan McVay can be seen standing with his microphone in hand.
Bryan McVay: Our next match is a tag team contest and it’s scheduled for one fall!
The crowd cheers ready to see more action here in the second match on tonight’s card.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first…
Once again the crowd lets out a massive cheer as McVay gestures towards the nearby corner.
Bryan McVay: From Havre, Montana, weighing in tonight at 220lbs. He is a HOW Hall of Famer, The Jattlantic City Idol… JATTTTT! STARRRR!
Jatt raises his arm towards the crowd that cheers him on for being one of the few truly good people left in HOW.
Joe Hoffman: Yet again Jatt Starr came down to the ring during the commercial break. Two weeks ago Jatt stepped foot into the main event of Chaos 011 against fellow Hall of Famer Christopher America with a chance to capture the HOW World Championship. Jatt gave it everything he had for nearly 25 minutes but in the end it wasn’t enough to beat America for the title. Now he has to focus on this match and his rival John Sektor.
Jatt grabs onto the top rope and begins to pull on it a bit to loosen up as McVay raises the microphone back up to his lips.
Bryan McVay: And his partner…
“BLOODY TEARS” from Castlevania II begins. A purple mist floods the entrance way as “The Vintage” Conor Fuse emerges from behind the apron 23-seconds into the theme. He stands at the top of the rampway, head down, sporting a dark purple jacket with its high-collar raised. The jacket is open, showing his vintage SNES tights as he slowly raises his head. The fog continues to pump from the stage as Fuse methodically makes his way down the ramp.
Bryan McVay: From Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Weighing in tonight at 210lbs. He is The Vintage CONORRRR! FUSEEEEE!
The crowd starts a “!RANK” chant, pointing in Conor’s direction as he marches towards ringside. Once in front of the squared circle, The Vintage leaps onto the apron and then with ease clears the ropes by jumping over them and somersaulting into the middle of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Conor Fuse since returning to HOW has been on an absolute tear picking up victory after victory. However, he’s been putting a lot of his attention on his friend and new partner Bobbinette Carey. Conor has inserted himself into the fight to take down both JPD and STRONK for what they’ve done to the only female Hall of Famer. At RATR he faces literally his biggest challenge in Godson.
Fuse tilts his head back and zen cries into the rafters while the fans in attendance continue to cheer him on. Conor removes his trench coat, revealing his trademarked light purple arm sleeve on his left arm. Fuse waits in his corner alongside Jatt.
Bryan McVay: And their opponents…
“DIRTY DEEDS” by AC/DC blasts from the speakers here in The Chase Center as the crowd turns towards the stage. John Sektor makes his way out from behind the curtain with a no nonsense look on his face. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Sektor scans his surroundings. Unsatisfied with being this far away from home Sektor slowly makes his way down the ramp towards the ring.
Bryan McVay: First from Miami, Florida, weighing in tonight at 245lbs. He is a HOW Hall of Famer, The Gold Standard JOHNNN! SEKTORRRR!
Sektor makes his way to the ringside area as Jatt Starr doesn’t take his eyes off of him. Sektor stomps his way up the steel ring steps then walks along the ring apron. Sektor leans over the top rope and points his finger over towards Jatt before mouthing off to him.
Joe Hoffman: John Sektor made his surprise return to HOW but since that moment it’s been a bit of a mixed bag for the Hall of Famer. The last time he was in a tag team match was in Cleveland where he was teamed with Christopher America to take on the team of Bobbinette Carey and Jatt Starr. America of course faked an injury and left Sektor to get beaten in a two on one situation. Tonight he looks to get a measure of revenge against Starr.
Sektor steps through the ropes and enters the ring. John makes his way over towards the opposite corner and stares daggers over towards both Jatt Starr and Conor Fuse as his music dies down.
Bryan McVay: And his partner…
The lights in the arena go down as “STRONKER” by FLAV RILLE begins to play. STRONK GODSON walks out onto the stage, with Abdullah Choi following behind him. The fans boo loudly for his arrival except—promiscuous women and drunk and disorderly men, especially.
Bryan McVay: From Somewhere in Minnesota, weighing in tonight at 307.1lbs. He is The King Stallion STRONKKKK! GODSONNNN!
STRONK walks to the ring, and, just before stomping up the ring steps, grabs ahold of his ‘STRONK AF’ sleeveless tee shirt and rips it from his body with startling ease. STRONK enters the ring, while Choi stands out on the floor, hyping up his man and jawing with the ringside fans.
Joe Hoffman: Everyone watched in horror two weeks ago when STRONK turned on Bobbinette Carey after making her believe he was on her side. Along with Choi and the LSD Champion they tried to take out Bobbinette but thanks to Conor Fuse the three men weren’t able to complete their mission. However, at RATR Godson will go one on one with Conor Fuse who he still believes killed MONGO. I tell you folks, Choi and Davidson are horrible people indeed!
Bryan McVay exits the ring as referee Matt Boettcher goes over to check with all four men. Jatt Starr tells Conor he wants to start the match for his team and then shouts over to Sektor that he doesn’t want to wait until RATR. Conor exits the ring but both Sektor and STRONK remain standing inside of the ring. Sektor tells STRONK that he’s going to take care of this quickly but STRONK stays rooted in place. Sektor gets angry and shouts as STRONK until The King Stallion gives the Hall of Famer a death glare. Sektor relents and exits the ring as Boettcher calls for the bell.
Jatt approaches the center of the ring along with STRONK. Jatt wastes no time in unloading right hands to the face of the man he beat to win the LSD Championship belt but STRONK absorbs each shot and remains standing tall. Jatt plants a boot to the midsection then grabs STRONK by the arm and tries to wipe him into the ropes but STRONK doesn’t budge. Jatt tries again but his efforts are futile. STRONK uses his power to reverse the whip and send Jatt into the ropes. Jatt bounces off the ropes then hits STRONK with a dropkick but STRONK doesn’t move and Jatt practically bounces off of him and down to the canvas.
Joe Hoffman: Jatt Starr decided to go on the offensive against the three hundred pounder but nothing seems to be working. This current STRONK seems more blood thirsty than the happy go lucky bone crusher that we all knew and loved.
Jatt scrambles back up to his feet but STRONK charges and sends him back down to the canvas with a running shoulder block. STRONK continues off towards the ropes as Jatt quickly gets back up to a vertical base. STRONK bounces off the ropes and hits Jatt with a running clothesline that turns him inside out and sends him crashing to the canvas. STRONK huffs and puffs like a mighty bull as he stalks around Jatt. As Starr gets back up to his feet STRONK grabs a hold of him from behind and hits him with a backdrop driver down to the mat. STRONK drags Jatt back to his feet then nails him with a second backdrop driver down to the canvas. One more time STRONK drags Jatt up and plants him with a third consecutive backdrop driver down to the canvas. Conor begins clapping and trying to get the crowd into it as STRONK gets back up to his feet. STRONK looks down at Jatt then points towards the corner at Fuse. The crowd cheers wanting to see the two men go at it but Jatt just shakes his head no.
Joe Hoffman: STRONK is dominating here tonight but it seems what he really wants is Conor Fuse. The fans want it, I want it, but it seems Jatt is refusing to tag out. Could he be trying to protect Conor Fuse so that he makes it to Rumble at the Rock in one piece?
Jatt fights his way back up to his feet but STRONK grabs a hold of him by the head. STRONK rears back and hits Jatt with a headbutt that makes his legs completely buckle and he slumps down to the canvas. STRONK doesn’t let go of Jatt, instead he lifts him back up to his feet then high into the air. STRONK holds Jatt into the air an absurd amount of time while looking directly as Fuse with rage in his eyes. STRONK finally plants Jatt down to the canvas with a vertical drop brainbuster. Fuse has seen enough and enters the ring but Boettcher cuts him off before he can get to his RATR opponent.
Joe Hoffman: Tempers are flaring here in the ring. STRONK is picking apart Jatt Starr and Conor is just itching to get into this match. However, Matt Boettcher is trying to keep this one under control especially with the PPV right around the corner.
STRONK gets up to his feet then grabs a hold of Jatt by the hair. STRONK drags Jatt up to a standing position before lifting him up onto his shoulders. Fuse continues to argue with Boettcher as STRONK plants Jatt with the Squat Rack Breaker. Jatt is folded up like an accordion but Fuse continues to bark at Boettcher. STRONK hooks the leg and makes the cover on Jatt but Boettcher’s back is still turned. Fuse finally decides to surrender and exits the ring. Boettcher turns around and sees the pin attempt then slides into position quickly.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Matt Boettcher: TWO
Matt Boettcher: THRE–
NO! KICKOUT BY JATT STARR!
Joe Hoffman: This match could have been over but Matt Boettcher was preoccupied with Conor Fuse to see the pin attempt by Godson. That precious time wasted was enough of a breather to let Jatt Starr kick out before the three count was made.
STRONK gets back up to his feet unfazed by the fact that Jatt Starr is still showing signs of life. Godson backs away to his corner and measures up Jatt who is having trouble getting back up to his feet. STRONK signals that he’s going to apply The Loop Hold but suddenly out of nowhere John Sektor reaches in and slaps STRONK across the shoulder. Boettcher acknowledges the tag as The Gold Standard enters the ring. STRONK doesn’t look happy as Sektor lectures the big man about the fact that he allowed Fuse to distract the referee. Sektor orders STRONK to get out of the ring and says he’s beaten Jatt before and he can do it again.
Joe Hoffman: Sektor tagged himself into the match and it seems he wants the glory of putting Jatt Starr away here in this match. STRONK doesn’t seem happy that Sektor wants to end the match himself after he did all the heavy lifting.
Both men continue to argue but don’t notice that Jatt has been making his way over towards his corner. Choi pounds his hands on the canvas trying to get STRONK’s and Sektor’s attention but it’s too late. Jatt makes the tag to corner and the former HOW World Champion comes racing into the ring. Fuse hits Sektor with a dropkick to the back that sends him stumbling forward and crashing into STRONK. The impact knocks STRONK through the ropes and down to the arena floor below. Sektor lands on the middle turnbuckle pad as Fuse takes off towards the ropes. Conor bounces off the ropes then hits Sektor with double knees to the back of the skull at full speed.
Joe Hoffman: Conor has finally entered the match thanks to Sektor and STRONK not being on the same page. Conor has been waiting to get his hands on Sektor since losing to him and Adam Ellis in the Maurako Cup. But will STRONK allow Fuse to get his revenge on Sektor before he tries to choke the life out of the former World Champion once again?
Fuse backs away from the corner as Sektor falls to the canvas. Conor races towards the ropes once again as Sektor gets back up to his feet holding the back of his head. Fuse bounces off the ropes then hits Sektor with a spinning slingblade clothesline that sends him back down to the canvas. Fuse kips up to his feet then races towards the ropes once again. Conor leaps to the middle ropes then springboards off and connects with a Lionsault down onto Sektor. Before Conor can make the cover Abdullah Choi makes his way up to the ring apron. Choi attempts to distract Boettcher but Conor races over towards him. STRONK reaches up and yanks Choi to safety before Conor can lay his hands on him.
Joe Hoffman: Conor Fuse is firing on all cylinders here tonight and Abduallah Choi definitely sensed that. He tried to distract Matt Boettcher before Conor could put Sektor away but Fuse wasn’t having it. Luckily for Choi it was STRONK who pulled him to safety before Conor could lay him out.
Conor sits on the middle rope and begs both STRONK and Choi to get into the ring but the distraction does its job. Sektor is back up to his feet and grabs a hold of Fuse from behind. Sektor goes for a belly to back suplex but Conor lands on his feet. As Sektor turns around Conor hits him with a superkick to the face that causes him to stagger. Conor grabs Sektor from behind then hits him with a German suplex down to the canvas. Conor gets back up to his feet then grabs hold of Sektor as STRONK climbs back up to his corner. Conor plants a boot to the midsection then goes to whip Sektor into the ropes but Sektor reverses the whip. Conor bounces off the ropes then leaps into the air going for a headscissors takedown but Sektor catches him. Conor manages to count and hits Sektor with a headscissors into a flipping spike piledriver down to the canvas. Fuse hooks the leg and makes the corner on Sektor as Boettcher slides in for the count.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Matt Boettcher: TWO
Matt Boettcher: THREE!!!
NOOO!!!! SEKTOR GOT HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!
Joe Hoffman: Innovative move by Conor Fuse to plant John Sektor on his head. That should have won it for Fuse and Jatt but the old veteran Sektor was aware of his surroundings and managed to get his foot on the bottom rope.
Conor gets back up to his feet then grabs a hold of Sektor and pulls him back up to his feet. Conor fires off a couple of forearm shots to the face of the Hall of Famer before wiping him into the far corner. Sektor hits the turnbuckle hard as Conor points and dares STRONK to get into the ring with him. STRONK wastes no time reaching into the ring and slapping Sektor on the chest as hard as he possibly can. The crowd goes absolutely nuts as STRONK enters the ring and stares down his opponent at RATR.
Joe Hoffman: You can’t hear yourself think in here right now. Conor Fuse and STRONK Godson are both the legal men and it looks like we aren’t going to have to wait until Alcatraz to see these two rip into each other.
Conor bounces up and down in place in an excited manner before getting a running start towards his opponent. However before Conor can get to the other side of the ring Sektor has stepped out of the ring then reached in and slapped STRONK to make himself legal once again. Sektor steps into the ring as the crowd is deafening with boos.
Joe Hoffman: John Sektor has taken objection to STRONK tagging himself into the match to fight Conor Fuse. But it was Sektor that did the exact same thing earlier and tagged himself into the match when STRONK was fighting Jatt Starr. These two men are like oil and water right now.
John Sektor points his finger into STRONK face and begins to mouth off to his partner. STRONK swats Sektor’s finger away from his face effortlessly but Sektor snaps. John rears back and slaps STRONK as hard as he can across the face. The crowd gasps as Abdullah Choi’s jaw hits the arena floor. Conor goes to attack both men but Jatt reaches into the ring and grabs Fuse by the arm. The Hall of Famer advises his partner to wait and see what will happen before diving in head first.
Joe Hoffman: John Sektor might have just gone a step too far here tonight to the point that even Jatt Starr is advising Conor Fuse to stand clear of what is about to happen inside of the ring here.
Abdullah Choi jumps up onto the ring apron and begins pleading with STRONK to just let it go and exit the ring. It is too little too late as STRONK reaches out and grabs a hold of Sektor by the throat. STRONK tosses Sektor into the corner then lowers his head and begins ramming repeated shoulders into the midsection of The Gold Standard. All the wind is driven out of Sektor’s body as STRONK backs away from the corner. Sektor staggers away from the corner trying to keep his balance. STRONK grabs Sektor from behind then locks in a full nelson. STRONK slings Sektor side to side before lifting him into the air and spikes him with a full nelson slam. Choi begins jumping up and down on the ring apron begging STRONK to stop but The King Stallion is blinded by rage.
Joe Hoffman: Abdullah Choi is having a coronary on the ring apron right now and STRONK is just obliterating his own partner here. I don’t think Matt Boettcher knows what to do in this situation. You can’t really disqualify someone for attacking their own partner and when that person is STRONK Godson then discretion is the better part of valor.
STRONK grabs a hold of Sektor by the hair then drags him up onto all fours. STRONK places Sektor’s head between his mighty legs then grabs him by the waist. STRONK lifts Sektor high into the air then literally chucks him across the ring with a crucifix bomb.
Joe Hoffman: STRONK Godson just yeeted a 245lb human being across the ring like it was nothing! Everyone here in The Chase Center is in utter shock.
Sektor’s body literally lands at Conor’s feet which makes Fuse jump back a little bit. Fuse and STRONK just stare at each other as the tension in the air is thick enough to use as roll-on deodorant. Fuse blinks first then steps through the ropes and begins to climb the turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: Conor could have just pinned John Sektor right there and then but he’s not going to take a victory thanks to STRONK’s handiwork.
Conor balances himself on the top rope then leaps off and connects with the Super Splash. Conor hooks the leg and makes the cover on Sektor as Boettcher slides in for count.
Matt Boettcher: ONE
Conor keeps his eyes squarely on STRONK ready for him to try and make a move to break up the pinfall attempt.
Matt Boettcher: TWO
STRONK remains firmly planted but every muscle in his body is tense and ready to strike at a moment’s notice.
Matt Boettcher: THREE!!!
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners the team of JATTTTTT STARRRRR & CONORRRRR FUSEEEEE!!!!
Conor gets to his feet as Jatt enters the ring. The HOW Hall of Famer looks worse for wear as Sektor rolls out of the rng and down to the arena floor. Boettcher raises the arms of the winning team into the air but Conor rips his arm away from the referee. Conor marches to the center of the ring and begins yelling for STRONK to fight him right here and right now for what he did to Bobbinette Carey. The crowd is electric as STRONK takes a step towards the center of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: I can’t believe I’m going to say this but now would be a good time for the EPU to show up to stop this.
STRONK takes another step as Conor Fuse is ready to do whatever it takes to topple The King Stallion. Abdullah Choi steps into the ring and stands in between STRONK and Fuse. Abdullah begins pleading loudly for STRONK to wait until RATR to get his hands on Fuse. Choi points over at Fuse and begins talking about MONGO which only pisses off STRONK even more.
Joe Hoffman: Choi needs to head for cover before he becomes collateral damage in this thing. Though, that wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen.
Choi reaches up and places his hands on the chest of STRONK and continues pleading. Conor begins shouting towards STRONK also but in the end it’s Choi that gets through to the muscle of The Board. STRONK slowly takes a step backwards but keeps his eyes locked on Conor Fuse. STRONK exits the ring followed by Choi as both men slowly head their way up the ramp backwards never taking their eyes off of Conor Fuse.
Joe Hoffman: This thing is a powder keg ready to explode at any moment. I’m not sure Alcatraz is going to be able to contain the intensity of this match between two of the best that HOW has to offer.
We cut elsewhere as the crowd is still buzzing from what they just witnessed.
After that hotly-contested tag match between The Board and the team of Fuse and Starr, we cut backstage where we find Xander Azula standing by, flanked by his Eternal Circle followers. They all share an angry glare that could make GREAT SCOTT jealous, as Xander finally begins to speak.
Xander Azula: Last week, I failed in my mission to take the HOTv Championship from GREAT SCOTT, and it made me disappointed. As I went to the back to take my leave from the T-Mobile Arena, I got to thinking about Kyle McRae, and how he might very well have been watching my failure, laughing at it from wherever he’s choosing to hide…and it made me mad.
A bit of a mixed reaction for sVo’s Granite Kid, those who like the idea of Azula being humbled nearly being drowned out by those who dislike someone invading HOW from the outside as the Fighter presses on.
Xander Azula: You know something, Kyle? Between that, and what you pulled two weeks ago inside the Best Arena…I’m mad as hell, and I won’t take it anymore. It’s bad enough you stepped into my turf, my territory, to try and steal my moment…but now you want to step into my cage, and test your worth? Well kid, as the saying goes…it’s your funeral.
Xander motions for something to be presented to him, and his right-hand man Vagn Dahl obliges, showing a HOFC contract revealing the upcoming fight between Azula and McRae as the Fighter speaks once again.
Xander Azula: Jon Page, I hope you watch closely as your apparent chosen one is humbled and broken inside that gilded cage…and the Fighter completes his unsanctioned path of violence. When this is all over, I can finally set my eyes on the prize that awaits me…but first, I must sentence your Granite Kid to pain he’s not yet had to endure…before I put him away for good with the Fist of Eris. See you soon, kid.
This incredibly snide remark marks the end of Xander’s message, with no further detail as he and his followers take their leave before we cut to commercial!
World Championship Match
Steve Harrison vs. Christopher America©
LSD Championship Match
Bobbinette Carey vs. Jace Parker Davidson©
Conor Fuse vs. STRONK Godson
Jatt Starr vs. John Sektor
Scott Stevens vs. Scottywood
Clay Byrd vs. FDJ
Kyle McRae (sVo) vs. Xander Azula (HOW)
Coming back from commercial break we head to the backstage area here in The Chase Center. Blaire Moise is once again standing by holding her microphone in hand and trying to put on the best smile she can possibly muster given the situation.
Blaire Moise: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the current LSD Champion. Jace Parker Davidson.
A loud eruption of boos can be heard in the arena as Jace walks into camera range in his wrestling gear. He has the LSD Championship belt around his waist and the ICON Championship belt displayed over his shoulder.
Blaire Moise: In a few moments you will be in tag team action inside of the ring teaming with the current HOW World Champion Christopher America. Your opponents will be #1 contender Steve Harrison of The Highwaymen and his partner HOW Hall of Famer Bobbinette Carey.
Jace nods his head and begins to speak into the microphone but this time it’s Blaire who snatches it away and interrupts the Champion.
Blaire Moise: Buttttt before we get into that there is something I have to ask. How did it feel to get your ass handed to you by Bobbinette Carey and a bunch of ordinary housewives last week?
The crowd pops loudly for Blaire and the question she just so boldly asked to one of them responsible for the terrible things that have happened to Bobbinette Carey. Jace sucks his teeth a bit and looks none too impressed with Blaire.
Davidson: You’ve been waiting an entire week to pop that one out haven’t you? Was it good? Was it everything you hoped it would be?
Blaire smiles devilish and then nods her head up and down approvingly. Jace rolls his eyes and adjusts the ICON Championship belt on his shoulder.
Davidson: What you meant to say was that I was brutally assaulted by a magenta colored golf cart and three individuals heavily armed with barbed wire wrapped Kendo Sticks. Bobbinette Carey decided to retaliate once she got a clue on just who was behind her unfortunate circumstances. Bravo, but as always I’m here and I’m ready to go to work. If falling off of a three story cage through an announcers table and breaking my neck couldn’t do me in. Then clearly Bobbinette Carey has no chance of putting me down.
Blaire Moise: Then you’ve obviously heard what she had to say out in the parking lot earlier tonight about you.
Jace leans his head back and rubs his chin with his free hand before leaning down to speak into the microphone.
Davidson: Did you ever sit back and then about why it seems like Bobbinette Carey only has a set on her when she’s out in the parking lot of some arena?
Blaire raises her eyebrow but shakes her head after a moment of thought.
Davidson: It’s because in between the ropes Bobbinette Carey has all of the dominance of a newborn baby over the English language. When it’s street rules of course she feels bold and brave because she has weapons, she has people that can come to her aid as she plays the Damsel in Distress. Bobbinette Carey took that awful magenta colored golf cart all the way from Nevada to bring it here to San Francisco tonight. Why? Because it’s the one piece of relevancy she has since she returned to HOW. She’s hanging out there sitting in her cart, looking at those Kendo Sticks while trying to build up enough confidence to step inside of this building just to embarrass herself out there in the ring.
Blaire Moise: Bobbinette enjoyed making you bleed last week and I think after everything you and Abdullah Choi have done. That she’s got quite the bloodlust going.
Davidson: That’s not bloodlust, that’s anemia. That happens when you bleed like a stuck pig for weeks on end. Hope there aren’t any sharks in the water here this week.
Jace smirks as Blaire’s face contorts in complete disgust. Blaire goes to let Jace have a piece of her mind but decides to remain as professional as humanly possible.
Blaire Moise: Regardless of your disrespectful opinion. Bobbinette Carey claims that you’ve broken something inside of her. And the only way for her to heal is to break you even more. She said if you make it out of here tonight, that at Rumble at the Rock she’s going to make you wish you had died months ago.
Davidson: Bobbinette Carey isn’t going to do a fucking thing. She gave me her best shot last week and it wasn’t good enough. Nothing with Bobbinette Carey is ever good enough. So much so that she’s not even my focus here in the match tonight. My focus is on Steve Harrison and leaving him a beaten and battered mess heading into Rumble at the Rock. Carey will flounder around out there tonight and then waddle her way into her own demise once we get to Alcatraz.
Blaire Moise: Speaking of the match coming up next. How do you feel about teaming with the HOW World Champion Christopher America? Are you at all worried that his selfishness might lead him to leave you out there on an island by yourself just like he did John Sektor when they teamed together?
Jace scoffs and looks down at Blaire like she’s crazy.
Davidson: We’re talking about John Sektor. Just look at what happened earlier tonight in his tag match. He went and decided to piss off STRONK to the point he was left broken in the middle of the ring. People like Bobbinette Carey can babble about how Conor has STRONK covered but clearly Conor has no idea the hurting he has coming in Alcatraz. John Sektor deserves everything that happened to him in both instances. I am not worried about America doing that to me because unlike Sektor I show up for work week in and week out. I walk into my matches with my head in the game. Tonight we’re going to work together to systematically break the bodies and the spirits of our respective opponents. We’re going to show just why The Board is the most dominant force in HOW history. No version of The Best Alliance, The Group of Death, or The eMpire has been able to do what we’ve done.
Jace pats the LSD Championship belt with his free hand.
Davidson: Just like at War Games, just like at Rumble at the Rock, and just like any other given Sunday night. The Board sets the standard of what excellence in professional wrestling looks like in 2022. But if you’ll excuse me, these Zion forsaken Warriors fans paid good money to see me perform tonight.
Jace pie faces the camera with his free hand then heads off towards the gorilla position as we head back to ringside.
The Board vs. Steve Harrison and Bobbinette Carey
As we come back to ringside where the Hall of Famer and best announcer in the business is ready to call the next match up of the evening.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen where we have a major tag team matchup!
Joe’s excitement can hardly be contained as he looks toward the camera.
Joe Hoffman: We have three Hall of Famers, two Champions, and the Number One Contender to the top prize in this great sport all in one match!
Joe’s excitement may be getting the best of him, but can you blame him.
Joe Hoffman: In mere moments we have a preview of Rumble at the Rock as the LSD champion, Jace Parker Davidson teams with the HOW World champion, Christopher America to take on challengers Bobbinette Carey and Steve Harrison. Who will be victorious here tonight?
“Take the Money and Run,” By The Steve Miller Man starts to play and the curtain flies open. Steve Harrison walks out with his arms in the air, a smirk across his face.
Brian McVay: From Fairfax, Virginia… weighing in at 245 pounds… he is… THE MIRACLE MAN…. STEEEEEEEVE HAAAARRISOOOOONNN!!!
He begins walking towards the ring and begins waving at the crowd, who return his waves with boos and indifference. The smirk begins to fade after hearing the response so the Miracle Man begins jawing back at some of the audience and pointing to himself yelling over and over “ME, ME, ME!.” Steve walks faster to the ring, his smirk now a scowl, he enters the rings and leans against one of the turnbuckles and begins talking to himself, his face becoming red in anger.
Joe Hoffman: Steve Harrison is a man of action and he’s still waiting for America to answer his submission only challenge for Rumble at the Rock, but the champion as yet to respond.
The Arena lights go black as “Enemy” by Anna begins to play.
“Tell you you’re the greatest but once you turn they hate us!”
A magenta spot light it’s entrance as the Queen of Epicness herself is already standing there waiting for the light. Bobbinette Carey makes her way down the ramp. Wearing a Miss America style crown. She stands at the top of the ramp with her pink and black leopard gear.
Bryan McVay: And his partner, from Parma Heights, Ohio… The Queen of Epicness! BOBBINETTE! CAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEYYYYYYY!!!
“Oh the misery everybody wants to be my enemy!”
The HOV plays a black and white video package. (We see the clip of her smashing a photo over Mario Maurako; another clip of her hitting Mario with the defib pads, then the most striking image of Bobbinette standing over Scottywood and slapping him.)
She steps up the ring steps and wipes her feet on the apron before getting in the center of the ring.
“Spare the sympathy, everybody wants to be my enemy, but I’m ready”
She stands in the center as magenta pink and mauve pyrotechnics explode from the turnbuckle as she does a ballerina style exaggerated curtsy
Joe Hoffman: Bobbinette found out that Jace was the one behind her misfortunes when she thought it was Scott Stevens, but fell victim to a vicious attack my the LSD champion and STRONK. Carey is going to have to block it all out if she wants to become the next LSD champion.
Harrison and Carey are discussing things with each other when the lights go out…….
“THE KING OF EVERYTHING”
Appears on the HOV in #97RED font as “Kingdom” by Jaxson Gamble starts with it’s drumpad beats and guitar. The voice of Jaxson Gamble begins to whisper “This Is My Kingdom” and then the start of the song begins.
Look out far and wide, until the ends of time
Don’t you cross a line, what you see is mine
Battle scars to show, it’s written in my bones
The one you can’t control, that’s why I hold the throne
A single spotlight appears at the top of the entrance ramp for the second time tonight. Smoke begins to fill the entrance ramp.
You’re outta my league, so better than me (get outta my way)
I’m raising the flag, you better retreat (get outta my way)
Call me a god, you call me a king (get outta my way)
You better believe
JPD emerges into the spotlight wearing the LSD and ICON championships, one on each shoulder.
THIS IS MY KINGDOM!
Fireworks explode on the stage as the crowd goes berserk.
FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE!
FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE!
FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE! FUCK JACE!
Joe Hoffman: After what Jace has done to Carey I understand the reaction here tonight.
Bryan McVay: And their opponent, first, hailing from Miami, Florida, Standing 6 feet 4 inches and weighing in at 253 lbs. He is the HOW LSD Champion, he is forever the HOW ICON Champion, and he is a HOW HALL OF FAMER! JAAAAAAACE PAAAAAAAAAAARKER DAAAAAAAAAVIDSON!
Jace looks down at the ring and immediately starts running his mouth as he walks to the ring without anyone else. He steps through the ropes and heads to the corner, holding both titles above his head. The crowd welcomes him with all their hatred, and Jace basks in it. Finally he steps down, handing both of his titles to McVay before Hortega comes over and checks Jace as he hands him his titles.
Joe Hoffman: And there is only one left.
Is heard being yelled throughout the arena as “Remember the Name” by Fort Minor as the arena erupts into a unanimous chorus of boos as the World champion steps from behind the curtain.
Bryan McVay: And his partner, From America…weighing in at 255 pounds… He is… THE HOW WORLD CHAMPION!…CHRIS-TO-PHER! AAAAAMMMMMMEEEEERRRRRRIIIIIICAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know who’s more hated? America or Jace.
America stares daggers down towards the ring at his Rumble at the Rock opponent before he stretches out his arm and dramatically and emphatically placing it over his heart as red, white, and blue pyros explode behind him.
Joe Hoffman: Every since coming back to HOW, America has been embroiled in constant conflict with the Highwaymen and it has spilled over to Harrison.
Harrison steps over to the ropes and motions to his waist that he is the next world champion causing America to stop. Chris slowly look down at 97 Red and unstraps her from his waist and slowly raising it high above his head before putting it over his shoulder and marching to the ring.
Joe Hoffman: The HOW world title is Christopher America’s life. Nothing gives that man more pleasure than being the world champion.
America makes it inside the ring and immediately gets in Harrison’s face.
Christopher America: She’s mine! Mine! MINE!
America pushes Harrison back.
Christopher America: YOU HEAR ME!
Hortega and Carey hold Harrison back as America proudly places 97 Red over his left shoulder and places his hand on her main plate.
Christopher America: AMERICA!
Red, white and blue pyros explode once more as America hands his title to the official.
Joe Hoffman: Things are getting real chippy and we haven’t even started.
Hortega hands the titles to McVay and signals for the bell.
Joe Hoffman: And here we go.
America is going to start things for his team as Carey will be representing her team and the champion waves her off as he points to Harrison.
Joe Hoffman: What’s this?
Christopher America: I want him!
America tells Carey he wants Harrison.
Christopher America: Tag his ass in!
America demands again and Carey looks at Harrison who smirks and extends his hand and Carey makes a tag and the crowd explodes when Harrison steps into the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Are we gonna see our Main Event for the Rumble at the Rock right now?
Harrison and America meet center ring and they are face to face, nose to nose talking trash with one another and Harrison pushes America who falls onto the canvas to the cheers of the crowd. This infuriates the World champion and immediately gets to his feet and charges forward towards his opponent before stopping and delivering a single bald eagle middle finger before tagging Jace into the match drawing jeers of the crowd.
Crowd: PUSS-SY! PUSS-SY! PUSS-SY!
Joe Hoffman: America knows how to work a crowd doesn’t he?
America places his hands over his ears tuning out the crowd as Jace steps in with a devilish smile as Harrison gives one final look at America before turning his attention to Jace.
Joe Hoffman: Not the man he wanted, but Harrison can send a message to America here tonight.
Harrison and Jace begin to circle one another and Jace goes for the tie up, but Harrison ducks underneath and grabs Jace by the waist. Jace tries to break free, but Harrison sweeps the leg and rides the LSD champion down. Harrison immediately bars the left arm and tries to hook the other.
Joe Hoffman: It’s a Harricle already?!?!?!?
Jace is able to get free and slither out of the ring wringing out the pain in his arm while Harrison looks at America and shows it was this close to be locked in.
Joe Hoffman: Is that in America’s future at Rumble at the Rock.
Jace takes his time getting back into the ring as he climbs back up the steps and steps inside. Jace and Harrison meet back up at center ring and Harrison this time goes for a tie up, but Jace goes low with a double punch to the gut that stuns the Man of Miracles. Jace doesn’t waste time as the former high flyer shows that he still has speed as he moves fluidly hitting a picture perfect head scissors bringing Harrison to down to the canvas. Jace delivers a massive kick to Harrison’s spine that gives a new meaning to spinal tap. Jace hawks a loogie towards Carey as he backs into the opposite corner before running and delivering an inverted whiplash neckbreaker.
Harrison with the shoulder up.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison gets the shoulder up……
Joe’s cut off by Carey coming into the ring and trying to get at Jace, but is stopped by Hortega and as Hortega is distracted America steps into the ring and immediately begins to choke Harrison as Jace stomps away.
Joe Hoffman: Get out of there Carey! Turn around ref!
America retreats like a Frenchman to his corner before Hortega sees him. Jace brings Harrison to their corner and tags in America and the boos fly as America steps into the ring and begins to stomp away on the number one contender. America talks trash to his opponent before delivering slaps across the face of Harrison.
Joe Hoffman: The disrespect.
America spits into his hand and rears back but Harrison ducks underneath the slap and rocks the champion with a headbutt and knocks Jace off the apron with a back elbow. Harrison grabs America and throws him into the corner and tees off on the world champion with a flurry of right hands that cause the champion to cover up as best as he can.
Joe Hoffman: Listen to this crowd get behind Steve Harrison!
Harrison rears back and spits into his hand before he delivers a massive slap across the face of America.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison is fired up!
As Harrison turns his attention back to his opponent, he’s noticed America as slithered to the outside and Steve rolls out behind him. America begins to run and Harrison gives chase only to be taken down by a waiting Jace Parker Davidson.
Joe Hoffman: Dammit!
The boos become deafening as America and Jace look down at Harrison before relishing in a massive assault that almost gets them counted out.
Joe Hoffman: This isn’t a match. The Board is trying to take out Steve Harrison before the pay-per-view.
America and Jace both pick up Harrison up into the air and deliver a double vertical suplex as America goes for the cover.
Carey with the save.
Joe Hoffman: Carey with the save! America isn’t too happy with that.
Christopher America: YOU! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RING!
America shouts at Carey as the Queen backs up talking trash to the champion. America turns his attention back to Harrison and reaches down to pick him up, but the challenger rocks the champion before dropping him on his head with a snap DDT.
Joe Hoffman: Is that the opening Harrison needs to get Carey into this match?
Hortega checks both men and begins his ten count.
Both men begin to stir with Harrison crawling towards his corner and America trying to get his bearings.
Joe Hoffman: Carey is pounding on the turnbuckle to get this crowd fired up!
Harrison inches closer to his corner.
America sees Harrison getting closer and makes his way over.
Joe Hoffman: Reach Harrison! You’re almost there!
Harrison is within inches of the tag but gets pulled back by America.
Joe Hoffman: Dang it!
The crowd boos and America points to his head as he holds Harrison’s foot. Steve hobbles to his free foot and America talks trash to his challenger before he sees Harrison smiling.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison is……smiling…….
Harrison gives America the Royal family wave before dropping him with an enzuigiri.
Joe Hoffman: Oh my! Down goes America! Down goes America!
This is the opening Harrison needed and the crowd knows it as they get behind him to make the tag to Bobbinette. Steve begins to crawl towards his corner and Jace comes in to try and prevent the exchange, but his too late as Harrison tags in the Epic One and she takes down her tormentor with a springboard clothesline and begins to deliver rights and lefts to Jace.
Joe Hoffman: All those months of frustration and humiliation being unleashed here tonight!
America is back to his feet and peels her off of Jace by her hair, but the Queen delivers a side kick to the stomach of the champion dropping him to a knee. Carey builds up a head of steam and delivers a massive spear to the champion and makes a cover.
Jace flies in for the save.
Joe Hoffman: Like the cockroach that he is Jace flies in and breaks up the pin!
Carey immediately sends a look of hate towards her Alcatraz opponent and the two begin to exchange blows from a seated position.
Joe Hoffman: Every punch Bobbinette lays on Jace is euphoric for her.
As the two exchange punches, America slowly gets to his feet and is looking to take Carey’s head off as he runs the ropes, but the she ducks in Epic fashion and the clothesline hits Jace instead.
Joe Hoffman: Amber Waves of Pain to Jace!
America is stunned as he knocks his partner out of the ring and knows what is waiting behind him when he turns around.
Joe Hoffman: SUPERKICK!
America stumbles back and ricochets off of the ropes into a kick to the gut.
Joe Hoffman: STUNNER!
America shoots straight up and Carey grabs America and lifts him up and drives him to the mat.
Joe Hoffman: SPINEBUSTER!
Carey flops on top and hook a leg.
America with the kickout.
Joe Hoffman: America kicks out by the skin of his teeth.
Carey immediately wraps his tree trunk legs around the throat of America and begins to squeeze the life out of him.
Bobbinette Carey: ASK HIM!
The Queen shouts at Hortega and the official checks America who shouts no.
Joe Hoffman: America has to get out of this or having his second my prized possession crushed.
The second greatest mind in HOW history uses his ring awareness to reposition his head and shift his body weight and put Carey on her back.
Carey pops the shoulder up, but in doing she is able to grab America’s left arm and pull him in as she locks in a triangle choke.
Joe Hoffman: Carey with another submission.
America tries clubbing the tree trunk like legs of Carey, but it doesn’t make a difference. Carey shifts her weight and locks the hold in tighter.
Joe Hoffman: America has to get out or he’s done for.
America tries reaching for the ropes but he knows he’s too far away. He’s got only one option left as he positions his body in a squatting position grabs Carey.
Christopher America: FOR……
America slowly begins to lift the Queen off of the canvas.
Christopher America: AMERICA!
The world champion lets out a primal yell as he delivers a ring shaking powerbomb.
Joe Hoffman: HOLY HECK! WHAT A STAR-SPANGLED POWERBOMB!
Carey and America are down and Hortega begins his count.
America begins to stir and rolls on top of Carey.
Joe Hoffman: Harrison with the save!
Harrison immediately pulls America to his feet and begins to tee off on the world champion.
Joe Hoffman: I get Harrison’s frustration but this isn’t helping his team!
Jace barrels into the ring and tackles Harrison to the outside and the two begin to exchange combinations.
Joe Hoffman: Pure chaos on Chaos!
America sees a prone Bobbinette and lifts her up and hooks her.
Joe Hoffman: America may be looking to finish it here.
America starts to build his momentum to rotate, but Carey rotates first and delivers a suplex.
Joe Hoffman: NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!
Joe Hoffman: AMERICA KICKED OUT!
Jace throws Harrison into the ring post and hobbles toward his side of the ring. Carey pulls America up to his feet and whips to the ropes and as America hits Jace slaps his back. Carey hits the opposite and sends America down with a lariat.
Joe Hoffman: Royal Pain.
Carey still has her momentum as she hits the opposite ropes and somersaults forward.
Joe Hoffman: Epic Ending! That’s it!
Or is it?
Hortega doesn’t drop to count and Carey’s eyes grow wide as she sees the LSD champion flying threw the air.
Joe Hoffman: THE AWAKENING!
Jace holds his ribs in pain before pulling Carey off of America and making the cover.
DING. DING. DING.
Bryan McVay: And your winners by pinfall, HOW LSD CHAMPION….JAAAAAAACE PAAAAAAAAAAARKER DAAAAAAAAAVIDSON! AND HOW WORLD CHAMPION…..CHRIS-TO-PHER! AAAAAMMMMMMEEEEERRRRRRIIIIIICAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Joe Hoffman: Jace like a snake in the grass strikes when it matters and picks up the when for his team but also picks up significant momentum heading into Rumble at the Rock!
Back in the ring America quickly grabs his World Championship and a microphone. He scurries, like a rat, to the entrance ramp with Jace as both men hoist up their titles and their hands in victory. They back halfway up the ramp before they stop. America raises the microphone, breathing heavily into it.
Christopher America: Oh, Steve. I am so sick to fucking death of dealing with you. And although you will leave tonight of your own free will, I can’t promise the same for Rumble at the Rock.
America winces through the pain as he continues to breathe heavily.
Christopher America: At Alcatraz, oooh, I can’t wait to break you in half… because when I do that, I’m going to break so much more. I’m going to break the very foundation of the Highwaymen and watch you four crumble. And perhaps, sweetest of all… I’m going to break the hopes of each and every one of these fans.
America points out into the cheap seats.
Christopher America: You want a No Ropes Submission Match? You got it!
And when I beat you? When you finally tap out to me? My story as the hero of HOW will continue. And these fans? They’ll pledge their allegiance.
To the Board…
See you at Alcatraz!
Joe Hoffman: There you have it! America has accepted the challenge from Steve Harrison. At Rumble at the Rock, at Alcatraz, it’s America/Harrison in a No Ropes Submission Match for the HOW World Championship!
America wraps an arm around Jace’s shoulder as both men continue taunting their Rumble at the Rock opponents as we cut to another commercial break.
It's Going to Happen
Back from commercial and we cut to a part of the arena many people don’t film in. Maybe because it’s always crowded with inconsiderate people who walk through the shot without a care in the world? Whatever the reason, the HOW cameras are here now, pointed at the one and only, “Beautiful” Bobby Dean.
Bobby Dean: Welcome to MY area of the arena, Joe. It may not be Section 214, but these are MY people!
The large man is standing before a tall table surrounded by an unruly crowd of beer-chugging HOW fans, many of them on the obese side of the scale, not surprisingly. One of the HOTv Tag Titles rests on the table before him, next to three baskets of half-eaten ribs. His sausage fingers are covered and coated in a dark thick bar-b-que sauce as he proceeds to practically inhale the meat off the bone of one rib, smirking at the camera the entire time.
Bobby Dean: Joey B, I caught your little rant last week and all I gotta say is, no.
The unruly mob begins to chant, “NO! NO! NO!”
Bobby Dean: No, I won’t send well wishes to that brittle, broken down crumb, Steve Solex. No, I won’t hope that he heals quickly and returns to HOW soon. In fact, I hope his injuries never heal and he is forced to stay retired forever!
Bobby is forced to take a breath, not only because he’s worked himself up, and not only because he’s eaten waaaaay too many ribs, but also because a random fan has decided to walk in front of the camera, completely ignoring the situation. The distraction is perfectly timed, as Bobby is able to get his breath back as he proceeds to suck his fingers clean of sauce.
Bobby Dean: You run your mouth, flap your gums, make your demands. The whole time it’s all, me, me, me. Well, why in the world would I agree to a match with you when I’ve already beaten you? Again. And again. And again.
The crowd that surrounds the fat man begins to slowly chant “And again, and again, and again.”
Bobby Dean: I’ve beaten you with Doozer. I’ve beaten you with Cancer. Hell, I could probably beat you with my 15-year-old daughter, Annabelle, and she’s got about as much athletic ability as Brian Hollywood!
The crowd of drunks “oooooh” at this pretty tame insult in the way only a crowd of drunks can.
Bobby Dean: So no, Bergs, I will not be facing you at Rumble at the Rock. No, you will not be getting a tag title shot against Doozer and Jiles. No, you will not bring back Raaaaawr… Because in the end, you forget, I’m the champ. Not you. You don’t dictate what the champ will and will not do.
Bobby stops as suddenly the crowd parts like the red sea.
Sunny O’Callahan: Bobby… Bobby… Bobby.
Swigging from a bottle of Southern Comfort and more than looking the part of a background singer of a late 70’s Southern rock band, Sunny O’Callahan strolls through the people towards the big man followed by Joe Bergman.
Sunny sneers at Bobby.
Sunny O’Callahan: You know, when I flashed you…
She grips the bottom of her dark spaghetti-strapped top and teases pulling it up.
Sunny O’Callahan: …a few weeks ago, I bet it’s the first time you’ve seen a girl’s tits in over ten years.
Unruly Mob: WHOAAAAAAAAAA!
Sunny raises the bottle of Southern Comfort… tips her head back… and guzzles down another double shot of booze as the backstage revelers all watch. She then steps aside as Bergman steps forward.
Joe Bergman: I’m sorry Bobby… yellow dye, number five make you deaf?
Joe cups his ear as if he can’t hear anything. Bergman also comes bearing gifts. He has a box of Little Debbie snack cakes in his hand.
Joe Bergman: It must have because I don’t remember asking you for a match…
Bergman casually tosses a Little Debbie package on the floor.
Joe Bergman: …I distinctly remember asking Lee Best to make the match happen.
He drops another Little Debbie package on the floor.
Joe Bergman: Because at the end of the day, Bobby Dean WILL wrestle Joe Bergman at Rumble at the Rock…
Joe tosses another Little Debbie package down on the ground.
Joe Bergman: …and a HOTv Tag title match will be on the line…
Bergman drops the fourth package to the floor.
Joe Bergman: …and do you want to know why? Because Lee Best may not like Joe Bergman all that much, but Lee Best knows that if Joe Bergman is asked to wrestle, I’m there. If I’m booked, I wrestle. Lee knows that he can count on me to be there when I’m asked to be somewhere.
Another Little Debbie package finds its way to the ground.
Joe Bergman: You and Dooze and Jiles on the other hand…
Joe shakes his head and drops a sixth Little Debbie package in front of Bobby.
Joe Bergman: …well, let’s just say that you’re easily distracted. Not as reliable.
Bergman underhands a package off to Bobby’s right. Bobby’s eyes follow the trajectory of the Little Debbie until it lands on the floor.
Joe Bergman: Just like I know the second I leave you’re going to scoop up all eight of these Little Debbie packages off the floor and eat them. Why? Because it’s going to happen.
Joe takes a step forward.
Joe Bergman: Joe Bergman also did Lee Best a big favor a few weeks back when he helped HOW sell a bunch of house show tickets and helped sell it out. Lee’s going to do Joe Bergman a big favor when he gives me want I want- a match with Bobby Dean at Rumble at the Rock with a HOTv Title match as the stipulation. Lee Best will book this match and you and I will tangle at Rumble at the Rock. Why?
Joe tosses the last Little Debbie to Bobby.
Joe Bergman: Because it’s going to happen.
Bergman starts to head off camera with Sunny at his side. Bobby meanwhile looks around before trying to sneakily bend down to grab a Little Debbie off the ground. Needless to say, it’s not very sneaky as we cut away.
The show cuts to a room backstage. Inside said room, in all of his magnificent glory: T-shades, hair, and sweet wrestling tights, is Cancer Jiles. Next to him, on an easel, is a big piece of cardboard.
No, not what you’re thinking.
Written on the piece of cardboard in blue magic marker are five options.
Jiles: Hello! Earlier this week I told you that I was so confident in victory, so… not worried at all about injury, and that in order to prove such claims I would allow you, the audience, to choose how eggsactly I would defeat the GREAT SCOTTOPOTOMUS. Next to me are five choices for you to choose from. Text your choice to the number on your screen below..
*Data rates may apply, and no you can’t pay in hair
Jiles: For the illiterate, which I would assume is most of you, I will read the options aloud.
The Maestro clears his throat, and with a brimming, confident smile continues.
Jiles: Option one, Kryptonite. If you’re wondering the answer is yes, I have a pair of glowing green wrestling boots.
A thumbs up.
Jiles: Option two, tactical missile strike. If you’re wondering the answer is yes, I have the weapons key to the USS Octane.
If you look closely around Jiles’ neck there is a breakaway necklace. Attached to said necklace is a HOW business card. On the back of the card written in crayon are the words: Weapons Key.
Jiles: Option three, a random anvil from the sky. Fear not, I know a few toonish characters who fit the bill.
Lurking in some shadow behind Jiles is Bobby Dean’s belly.
Jiles: Option four, I pull Aurthur’s sword from stone and use it to slay the beast. This one would be tricky, although Hollywood’s prop guy does owe me a favor.
The Count scratches his chin, maybe showing his hand somewhat in regard to not wanting it to be option four.
Jiles: And lastly, option five. Wait. What was option five again…
The COOLympian turns to read option five directly from the cardboard.
There’s one problem.
Jiles: Somehow my lifeless corpse manages to roll GREAT SCOTT up after eating his Murder Death Kill… or the match turns into a cage match and he Scottaranna’s me out of the cage door! No, don’t vote for that please!
The Maestro’s T-shades start to fog up.
Steam billows from his ears.
His hair starts to darken.
Someone has sabotaged him.
The show quickly cuts to the final commercial break of the evening.
#5 GREAT SCOTT vs. Cancer Jiles
Back from commercial…
The lights dim.
A chill moves through the air.
Then, a seagull squaws.
Then, the war drum of the Wolf begins to beat.
Out from the back, and not his usually cool, calm, and collected self, steps Cancer Jiles.
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know if the intended rib hits as hard when Jiles has to literally die in order to win here tonight.
The crowd doesn’t boo, rather they laugh at the dead man walking down the aisle.
Joe Hoffman: That’s right folks! Your voice was heard and you’ve chosen option 5, which if I remember correctly involves Jiles’ lifeless corpse rolling up GREAT SCOTT, or a cage match. Well, there’s no cage around the ring so it will be interesting to see if Jiles is a man of his word or not.
The Crown Prince of COOL slides under the bottom rope, and doesn’t even bother to hit a pose.
Joe Hoffman: Last week, Cancer Jiles defeated Steve Solex and brought the HOTv Tag Team title to the Egg Bandits. Tonight, Jiles takes on GREAT SCOTT for the HOTv title. Can Jiles singlehandedly bring BOTH HOTv titles under the auspices of the Egg Bandits?
Jiles tosses his shades into the audience, which he never does, and shares a brief word with the referee.
“I’M THE GREATEST” BY RINGO STARR BLASTS THROUGHOUT THE T-MOBILE ARENA AS THE CROWD STANDS ON THEIR FEET. GREAT SCOTT COMES DOWN TO THE RING WITH HIS CHAMPIONSHIP BELT AND A BEAR WHO IS GREAT NAMED GREAT BEAR.
THEY ARE LISTENING TO THE WHOLE CROWD CHEER AND THEN THEY GET INTO THE RING AND THE BEAR DOES A COOL DANCE AND GREAT SCOTT IS VERY OVER.
Joe Hoffman: Last week, Xander Azula gave GREAT SCOTT a spirited challenge for the HOTv title. Azula hit his Fist of ERIS finisher but couldn’t put the champion away before he fell to the SCOTTACANRANA.
Bryan McVay steps to the center of the ring for the formal introduction.
Bryan McVay: Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is our MAIN EVENT of the evening and it’s for THE HOTv CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
McVay pauses as the San Francisco crowd cheers.
Bryan McVay: Introducing first, the challenger…
Bryan McVay: …weighing in at 229 pounds from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is one-third of the HOTv Tag Team Champions… ‘COOL’! CANCER! JIIIII-LES!
Bryan McVay: And his opponent…
Bryan McVay: From The Greater Metro Area of Great Falls, Montana. Weighing in tonight at 276lbs. He is the reigning HOTV CHAMPION! He is GREATTTTT! SCOTTTTTT!
McVay leaves the ring and referee Matt Boettchim walks over and secures the HOTv Championship belt from GREAT SCOTT.
Joe Hoffman: Cancer Jiles. GREAT SCOTT. Who will leave this ring as the HOTv champion?
Boettchim walks to the center of the ring and raises the title belt high into the air to show that the title is on the line. Boettcher hands the belt over to the timekeeper. Then he signals for the bell.
Joe Hoffman: We’re going to find out now.
Jiles moves forward and cuts GREAT SCOTT off. They lock up. GREAT SCOTT pushes forward and drives Jiles to the ropes. Jiles hooks the rope with his arm. Boettcher immediately calls for a break.
Joe Hoffman: Boettcher steps in and eases GREAT SCOTT back.
Jiles dismissively waves GREAT SCOTT away. Once he feels comfortable, Jiles unhooks his arm from the rope and moves to the side. GREAT SCOTT goes to cut him off. Jiles tries to change direction. GREAT SCOTT shoves him into the ropes. He goes to underhook Jiles’s arms but Cancer again hooks the rope. Boettcher calls for the break and reluctantly… RELUCTANTLY… GREAT SCOTT steps back.
Joe Hoffman: Jiles pulled the same routine in his match last week against Steve Solex.
Waving dismissively at GREAT SCOTT, Jiles demands that he is given space to ‘return to the ring.’
GREAT SCOTT retreats to the opposite corner but Jiles takes his sweet time unhooking his arm from the top rope.
Joe Hoffman: Fans getting a little impatient here.
Jiles takes a couple of tentative steps forward. GREAT SCOTT shoots across and shoulder blocks Jiles to the mat.
Jiles jumps up and pushes GREAT SCOTT back. GREAT SCOTT takes Jiles behind the head and heaves him into the corner. GREAT SCOTT charges forward. Jiles grabs the rope. And Boettcher calls for a break.
Except this time, GREAT SCOTT follows through and crushes Jiles in the corner.
Joe Hoffman: And GREAT SCOTT’s run out of patience and that’s not good news for Cancer Jiles.
GREAT SCOTT drives his shoulder into Jiles’s midsection.
GREAT SCOTT again drives his shoulder into Jiles’s midsection.
GREAT SCOTT steps back. Jiles is bent over. He takes two steps out and collapses. GREAT SCOTT covers…
Joe Hoffman: Cancer Jiles gets a shoulder up.
GREAT SCOTT plants a boot to Jiles’s midsection. He grabs Jiles and whips him into the ropes. Jiles bounces off the ropes and ducks a big clothesline from GREAT SCOTT. Jiles shoves GREAT SCOTT to the ropes and then follows… waistlock from behind…
Joe Hoffman: JILES ROLLS HIM UP!
Joe Hoffman: And GREAT SCOTT powers out.
Jiles steps back and circles. GREAT SCOTT studies him and thinks about his next move.
Lock up again.
Jiles takes a cheeky side headlock. GREAT SCOTT easily breaks the hold and takes a hammerlock. He transitions to a headlock. Jiles slips out. GREAT SCOTT runs the ropes, ducks a Jiles’s lariat, and continues all the way across. GREAT SCOTT bounces off the other ropes and charges toward Jiles. Jiles again goes for a lariat. GREAT SCOTT ducks his head and SHOULDER BLOCKS Jiles across the ring. GREAT SCOTT up quickly and tries to lock in a full nelson. Jiles with a back elbow. A second back elbow and GREAT SCOTT staggers back. Jiles sends GREAT SCOTT to the ropes… drop toehold sends GREAT SCOTT down. Jiles grabs an arm and locks in an armbar and catches his breath.
Joe Hoffman: Quick sequence of moves there. Jiles holding his own with the HOTv Champion.
Jiles moves to a hammerlock and wrenches GREAT SCOTT’s hand up toward his neck. He holds the hammerlock and drops a couple of knees on GREAT SCOTT’s back. GREAT SCOTT puts up with it for a few seconds and then swats Jiles away.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT was playing possum there.
Jiles tries to sneak in but GREAT SCOTT reacts faster and kicks him in the gut. GREAT SCOTT lifts him and spins him around before kneeling and slamming him back across his knee.
Joe Hoffman: TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER BY GREAT SCOTT!
GREAT SCOTT covers…
Joe Hoffman: AND JILES JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
GREAT SCOTT drags Jiles up to the top of the turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: HOLD ON! HE’S NOT GOING TO DO THIS AGAIN?
GREAT SCOTT tries to find his balance on the top turnbuckle. Jiles doesn’t help as he fights GREAT SCOTT to block the TOP ROPE SCOTTACANRANA- the same move he finished Xander Azula off with last week.
Jiles rakes GREAT SCOTT’S eyes. That angers BIG DADDY SCOTT who shoves Jiles off the top rope to a most awkward landing.
Joe Hoffman: DOWN GOES JILES!
GREAT SCOTT hooks the legs.
Joe Hoffman: NO! CANCER JILES SOMEHOW KICKS OUT!
GREAT SCOTT takes Jiles’s legs and spreads them.
Joe Hoffman: Now what is he doing?
He drops the leg straight down.
Joe Hoffman: OH! LEG DROP TO THE GROIN BY GREAT SCOTT AND JILES IS IN PAIN.
Jiles holds his groin and rolls back and forth. GREAT SCOTT pulls him up and puts Jiles’s head between his legs.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT BOMB COMING?
GREAT SCOTT picks him up by the torso and then slams him back down.
Joe Hoffman: YES!
GREAT SCOTT hooks the leg…
Joe Hoffman: NO! JILES SOMEHOW GETS A SHOULDER UP!
Jiles tries to roll out. GREAT SCOTT grabs him by the back of his trunks and pulls him right back. He picks Jiles up from behind and brings him back down on his knee.
Joe Hoffman: ATOMIC DROP BY GREAT SCOTT!
Jiles winces in pain. GREAT SCOTT fireman carries him up and then jackhammer slams him back down. Cover…
Joe Hoffman: NO! CANCER JILES GOT A FOOT ON THE ROPE!
Now visibly frustrated, GREAT SCOTT gets in Matt Boettcher’s face to calmly express his displeasure with the three count while Jiles takes the opportunity to roll to a corner and gather himself.
Joe Hoffman: Cancer Jiles is finding winning a second HOTv title a challenge. But GREAT SCOTT is helping him out by jawing with the referee.
Even GREAT BEAR jumps onto the apron to remonstrate with Boettcher.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT’s letting his emotions get the best of him…
GREAT SCOTT disgustedly turns away from Boettcher and shakes his head. He confers with GREAT BEAR.
Joe Hoffman: …and he’s giving Jiles precious time to regroup.
GREAT SCOTT nods and then he turns to Jiles- who’s just pulled himself back up to a vertical position.
GREAT SCOTT dips his head slightly and locks in a glare on Cancer Jiles. Not just any glare mind you… he’s locked in the angry glare. The angry glare he menacingly gives his opponent and everyone knows what’s up…
…especially the crowd.
Joe Hoffman: Cancer Jiles is in GREAT SCOTT’S sights. What will happen now?
Much to everyone’s surprise, Jiles marches up to GREAT SCOTT and…
Joe Hoffman: Ow.
Joe Hoffman: Second chop by Jiles.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT retaliates with a chop.
Joe Hoffman: Jiles chops back.
GREAT SCOTT feigns a chop and tries to boot Jiles in the midsection. Jiles sidesteps…
Joe Hoffman: COOLYMPIAN YOLK!
GREAT SCOTT claws at his eyes, covered by the yellow poison mist spewed from Jiles.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT’S BLINDED!
Jiles steps back and measures…
Joe Hoffman: TERMINAL CANCER!
GREAT SCOTT is propelled back to the ropes. But instead of bouncing off, he somehow hooks the top rope with his arm.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT IN TROUBLE HERE!
Jiles pounces. He lays the boots into GREAT SCOTT’S midsection.
Finally, Boettcher steps in and tells Jiles to step away. Jiles ignores him and continues to stomp at the blinded GREAT SCOTT.
Boettcher forces himself in between and tells Jiles to get back. Jiles again ignores him , puts his hands around GREAT SCOTT’S neck, and blatantly chokes him.
Boettcher starts another five count.
Jiles releases the hold at four-point-nine and avoids getting disqualified.
Joe Hoffman: Cancer Jiles is walking that line but he has to find a way to get GREAT SCOTT off the ropes so he can pin him.
GREAT SCOTT continues to try and clear his eyes.
Jiles stews in the middle of the ring as Boettcher now starts a ten count on GREAT SCOTT to release the top rope.
GREAT BEAR comes over and offers encouragement.
Joe Hoffman: HE LET GO!
GREAT SCOTT waited for the last possible second to release the top rope. Boettcher waves both men forward.
Joe Hoffman: HERE COMES JILES.
Jiles wastes no time. He sets. He unleashes another superkick.
Joe Hoffman: TERMINAL CANCER!
Two strong hands catch Jiles’s foot before it reaches its intended target
Joe Hoffman: BLOCKED!
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT BLOCKED IT!
Jiles’s eyes bulge out and his jaw drops.
Joe Hoffman: AND THAT MEANS…
Cue angry glare where GREAT SCOTT looks menacingly at his opponent and everyone knows what’s up.
Joe Hoffman: HE CAN SEE!
GREAT SCOTT runs to the ropes and leaps off the middle rope… he spins and his legs land on Jiles’s shoulders… spins to the side and locks his thick ankles around Jiles’s neck… and sends Jiles flying across the ring.
Joe Hoffman: THE SCOTTACANRANA!!!
GREAT SCOTT slides in and reaches back to hook Jiles’s leg as Boettcher slides in for the count.
Joe Hoffman: GREAT SCOTT RETAINS!
A fact that Bryan McVay confirms.
Bryan McVay: Your winner at fifteen minutes and twenty-three seconds… AND STILL HOTv CHAMPION! GREATTTTT! SCOTTTTTT!
Joe Hoffman: Somehow, GREAT SCOTT survived Cancer Jiles’s Coolympian Yolk AND Terminal Cancer and roared back to retain the HOTv title. How did he do it? We’re going to look at the replay here.
(REPLAY: a couple minutes ago)
GREAT SCOTT holds on to the ropes as Matt Boettcher is making the 10 count.
GREAT BEAR comes up. He slips GREAT SCOTT some STRONKUMMS and then hides the bottle.
GREAT SCOTT then comes back to life.
Joe Hoffman: Ahhhh. That’s what happened. GREAT SCOTT found his second win late in the match to defeat Cancer tonight. That is right……CANCER. Well….that’s going to wrap up tonight’s show. RUMBLE AT THE ROCK IN TWO WEEKS! We’ll see you on Alcatraz Island on October 30th.
Lee looks out the window and down at the illuminated unknown city below him. The city is passing him by ever so slowly, even though the private jet he is moving at 970 miles per hour thru the night.
He slowly leans back in his 97red leather seat and looks around him and sighs heavily at the silence around him.
He is alone.
He pulls out his phone and swipes over to his Twitch app and decides to go live.
Lee reaches into the seat next to him and puts on the GOLD mask that John Sektor gifted him several weeks ago. Satisfied that his face is fully covered……he begins the broadcast.
Lee Best: Emergency Press Conference coming to you LIVE high above the greatness that is America. I am on my way BACK to Chicago to put some ink to paper to finalize up some dealings here before 2022 comes to a close. While I take a break from the crazy ass party up here in the HOA skies, I wanted to get some stuff out there before the ol Titanic hits the iceberg.
Lee takes a drink from his #FORBIDDENHOR cup before continuing….
Lee Best: As you all witnessed tonight….John Sektor was clearly not fit mentally to return and after what STRONK did to him tonight….well nor is he fit physically either. So with that said….Sektor vs. Starr is officially cut from Rumble at the Rock. For those that might ask….I am 100% #TEAMSTRONK on what went down.
Lee nods into his camera as he raises his class to the heavens for STRONK.
Lee Best: With that match off the card…….it will be replaced by my boy Bobby Dean taking on that heathen Joe Bergman. The Bandits…..the HOTv TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS….have done me right since returning at Dead or Alive and I have no DOUBTS in my mind that Bobby and those beautiful tits of his will be victorious over that ordinary Joe.
Another quick pause and drink…..
Lee Best: Now it wouldn’t be Rumble at the Rock without some good old stipulations. sVo’s own Kyle McRae will come to the land of Octane and take on Xander Azula in the annual Prison Yard Match. Scott Stevens will take on Scottywood in a Crucifixion match inside the Alcatraz Chapel. Per annual tradition, we will see a few matches take place inside the ring in the Gen Pop area of the Prison where the cells will be filled with some lucky fans. This year’s matches will feature Clay Byrd taking on FDJ and the previously mentioned Joe Bergman taking on Bobby Dean. Now what does that leave us….oh yes…..The LSD Championship will be defended by Jace Parker Davidson against Bobbinette Carey, and the match will take place inside the chow hall and kitchen of the prison. I cannot think of no better place for these two to go to war.
Lee smirks to himself as he takes another drink…this time it is a strategic drink as he needs to take a moment to catch his breath.
Lee Best: Now we already know that Conor Fuse and STRONK are the odds on favorites to steal the show at Alcatraz so with that in mind I personally want to see these two battle where the ONLY way to win the match is to DRAG your opponent…..yes that is right….no pinfalls…..No submissions…..Infirmary Match.
This time Lee pauses for effect as he lets everyone take that in.
Lee Best: Finally, we know that our Great American and High Octane World Champion has agreed to a no ropes submission match with Steve Harrison…..that is all fine and good and it will be the final match of the evening in the Gen Pop area where the cells for the fans will be UNLOCKED. I cannot WAIT for that atmosphere.
Lee sits up in his chair and holds his phone close.
Lee Best: I might not have been around the last several weeks due to my health but let it be made very clear to EVERYONE……….I will be at Alcatraz………Dead or Alive…….and it will be ICONIC.
Lee pushes the button to end the broadcast and closes his phone and tosses it into the seat beside him before whispering……”And I won’t be alone”.
Submission Match for the World Championship
Steve Harrison vs. Christopher America©
Kitchen Match for the LSD Championship
Bobbinette Carey vs. Jace Parker Davidson©
Conor Fuse vs. STRONK Godson
Gen Pop Match
Joe Bergman vs. Bobby Dean
Scott Stevens vs. Scottywood
Gen Pop Match
Clay Byrd vs. FDJ
PWA: Prison Yard Match
Kyle McRae (sVo) vs. Xander Azula (HOW)