Words no one thought would ever be said… Jace Parker Davidson appeared on Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Wrestling Night in the Heartland last night via video. Here’s how it went down…
(LAST NIGHT: Wrestling Night in the Heartland)
The broadcast began to glitch a bit before transitioning to a video that began to play. The view panned over a large office, with a man most MVW fans were familiar with and hated all the same seated behind a large desk.
Jace Parker Davidson: Good evening… people of…
Davidson shuddered visibly.
Jace Parker Davidson: …Omaha, Nebraska.
Davidson shook his head and stuck out his tongue like the word left a foul taste in his mouth.
Jace Parker Davidson: For those of you that haven’t been living under a rock… or a barn, in your cases. I am the new General Manager of High Octane Wrestling. I am a two-time HOW Hall of Famer and the current LSD Champion. My name, of course, is Jace Parker Davidson.
Jace paused and waited, expecting the mere mention of his own name to send the fans of MVW into a frenzy.
Jace Parker Davidson: I’m sure you’re all wondering why I am taking time away here in my office to interrupt your show. I’m here to announce to you and the MVW roster that myself and Ray McAvay have come to an agreement.
Jace Parker Davidson: Words I never thought I would say out loud but when the enemy of my enemy? Well, great things can happen when two people can slide their differences to the backburner for a while. Our agreement has come together around the fact that I will be coming to MVW on March 5th to defend MY LSD Champion belt against a member of Ray’s roster.
Jace paused once again to allow the crowd to react.
Jace Parker Davidson: Not only that but you may see the HOTv and HOW World Championship belt defended there in the near future. Since this arrangement will benefit both MVW and HOW; Ray has allowed me to handpick my opponent. So… the person that will have a chance to win the LSD Championship will be none other than…
Davidson stopped and began to tap his index finger against his chin for effect.
Jace Parker Davidson: …CAPTAIN JACK!
Jace said emphatically as he slammed his hands down on the desk. He reached out and grabbed hold of the LSD Championship belt. He held it into the air as he leaned forward.
Jace Parker Davidson: You better prepare yourself, you salty pirate fuck, because your fifteen minutes of fame have finally arrived. Unfortunately for you, it’s going to be the most painful fifteen minutes of your entire life. This isn’t a winning lottery ticket for you, this is a one-way ticket straight to Hell.
Davidson placed the Championship belt over his shoulder.
Jace Parker Davidson: Being The Pound For Pound Greatest LSD Champion of All Time means I am qualified in all the many different ways there are to physically harm another human being under LSD rules. Davey Jones’ locker is going to look like a five-star hotel when I am done with you. Don’t worry, though. I will make sure to autograph your neckbrace so that you can tell all the nurses you got your ass beat by THE Jace Parker Davidson while you’re in intensive care. I might be a Villain but I’m not a monster.
Davidson smiled and leaned back in his seat before waving his hand dismissively.
Jace Parker Davidson: See you next Tuesday night in… *sigh*… Topeka, Kansas and enjoy the rest of your show.
The video cut out and the broadcast went back to normal.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Captain Jack, he is currently the 5th ranked contender in MVW’s Heartland Division… the division below the main Men’s Division.
So to repeat, Jace Parker Davidson will defend the LSD title against Captain Jack next Tuesday night in Topeka, Kansas on MVW’s Wrestling Night in the Heartland on HOTv.