Trademark That Shit.
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Trademark That Shit.

The recently-trademarked Greatest LSD Champion of All Time™, Silent Witness, as endorsed by the GOD of HOW himself, Lee Best, has been named as one of the four #1 seeds for the upcoming HOW LBI tournament. 

It is a surprising leap of faith from HOW management, considering the LSD Legend’s 10+ years since winning the HOW World Championship have been less than impressive. Perhaps the five-year gap since he last attempted to hang with wrestling’s best has given the leadership confidence that he has taken the break he needed, refreshed, and is now ready to reclaim his position among the best wrestlers in HOW history. 

Speaking on behalf of his client, Gibson Sports Agency founder Mickey Gibson had this to say, when reached out for comment:

“I’m really, really good at what I do. Lee Best wanted to fuck Silent Witness over, as always, but I had this clause entered into the contract. Non-negotiable. Fuck that guy. I told you before; the days of Lee Best fucking over Silent Witness are done. Silent Witness is going to rip apart Scottywood – the second best LSD Champion of all time – then Evan Ward and The Coward will see just how much my guy can still bang. Not like that, you fucking perv. And whoever you are, Coward, it doesn’t fucking matter. You can hide behind your X all you fucking like, but once you’re in that ring with Silent Witness, there’s nowhere left to run.

Lee Best calls himself God. Well, this year is the second coming of Silent Witness, and you bunch of cunts better start praying to God that you don’t get in his way. That goes for you, too, Davidson. We’ve trademarked this shit – Silent Witness is legally The Greatest LSD Champion of All Time, and it’s just a matter of time until he beats that reality into you.”

Drawn with Evan Ward, Scottywood, and the mystery character known only as X, Silent Witness rounds up the #DILLIGAF LBI group. Will anyone give a fuck by the end of the group stage? Stay tuned to find out!