A Humble Acceptance
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A Humble Acceptance

As we start a new year at the world’s most prestigious wrestling federation, the end of year awards and Hall of Fame inductions have been met with equal parts praise and criticism. We have recieved an unprovoked acceptance speech from one particular award winner, Evan Ward. He visited the HOW press office personally to deliver it.

They hate me, they really hate me! I’m lost for words, it is such an honour to be award Best Feud for my work fighting against Everyone. Honestly, it was a lot of long hours and hard work, but carrying the whole roster on my coat tails since March 2 Glory last year has really, truly paid off. It means so much to me that my overwhelming personality and skill has made me the envy of the entire wrestling world. You have Sektor and Jace and Mike and the like all doing their nonsense but who’s the guy who everyone wants to face? Little old me. I appreciate it so much it makes me feel like having your all over for dinner.

And I would just like to say, to Sektor, Jace and Jatt, pipping Ground Zero at the post for the tag team hall of fame votes, congratulations. Congratulations on a stolen victory, you absolute cunts. You sit on a throne of lies, claiming the first double HOF entries as if it was a legit vote! I don’t acknowledge your victory. I demand a recount or I will storm Best Arena and enforce the will of the people! You don’t get to single handedly win Feud Of The Year without being the most popular wrestler in the company, there’s no way I wouldn’t have been voted for the Tag Team Hall Of Fame! I blame Townsend dragging us down. Just for that, I should go explode him head frist from a great height again!

Fuck you all, in the best possible way.

There you have it, folks, the ramblings of a douchebag who refused to go away until we published this on the website. I’m not exagerating, he’s still here and looking rather hungrily at my fingers as I type. Help. Please call security.