World Champion Irate Following CHAOS Ending
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World Champion Irate Following CHAOS Ending

Immediately following the events of Monday Night Chaos, staff spoke with the HOW World Champion, Michael Lee Best, backstage. The Hall of Famer was still nursing a mild neck injury sustained during the main event, and gave the following quote while receiving several stitches on the right side of his forehead:

“This is embarrassing, honestly.” Best told staff. “Not for me, mind you– for this fucking company. It’s a disgrace to HOW and it’s a sign that Lee Best is just out of touch at this point. The greatest promotor in wrestling history went out and hired… what, seven or eight people who have beaten me for championships over the last fourteen years? It’s not even a notable fucking statistic for a guy who has had well over twenty total title reigns, but it’s… the perception. You’ve got a guy who is your number one merch seller, your number one fucking wrestler, your top champion of all time, and you want to middle him and bury him and make him look like a moron on television? FuckingĀ smart. Brilliant stuff. Booker of the year. That’s gonna help draw houses. I’m trying to run a fucking business here.”

The main event featured PWA Tag Team Champions Dan Ryan and Jatt Starr, both of whom will participate in the World Title main event at ICONIC, defending their titles against the team of Michael Lee Best and rookie Zach Kostoff. Of course, the match was not without it’s twists and turns, featuring Final Alliance member John Sektor as the special guest referee. While John Sektor was the one to reveal that it would be a lumberjack match, by the end of the show, it was clear that Lee Best had been the mastermind: Several prominent former HOW wrestlers, and a few currentĀ roster members, were revealed to be the unmasked lumberjacks at the end of the match.

“Fucking r-worded as fuck.” Michael went on, unhinged. “You’ve got the three wrestlers about to headline ICONIC in one ring, and you end the show with the spotlight on guys who are mostly never gonna be seen again. You’ve got David Black and Crane on a fucking show, and now they’re gonna go home, and I’m gonna be on to the next town. Brilliant booking. Give this guy a fucking award. Be on the lookout for next week’s main event, where my father will literally just masturbate to pictures of the year 2009 in the middle of the ring, while I wrestle five angry bears in a handicap match alongside my partner, Jake from Catering. I swear to God, this guy just wants me to work with nothing but pricks, constantly.”

The HOW World Champion seemed to calm down slightly, after an intern presented him with a box of donuts from the Old Heidelberg Bakery in downtown Phoenix.

“It’s fine.” Best concluded. “I only regret that I never got a chance to give dear old Dad his birthday present, since he was too busy giving one to himself. But that’s alright… next week on Chaos, he’ll get his belated birthday gift. And it’s gonna be a doozy.”