Zion Responds to the World Champion

After lunch time, Darin Zion hopped on a Zoom Conference Call with HOWrestling.com staff regarding Michael Lee Best’s comments about Chaos 050.

Opening the call, Zion could not stop talking about pickles.  He said “MY GOD THESE FUCKIN’ PICKLES!  You fucksticks have gotta try Balabans Cinnamon Pickles!  MY GOD THEY’RE FUCKIN’ DELICIOUS!  So sweet and yet so salty…just like the tears of an ungrateful SON!  They’re straight bussin’ fam!!!  I enjoy it as much as my nifty Final Alliance Jacket and scarf!”

While he continued to annoyingly crunch on some delicious gherkins, Zion continued to yammer on about the current world champion.  “B-T-Dubs, surprised Mike Best responded to me via a conference call.  I thought that fool was trapped back in 2007 on Xanga.  Dude totally writes his tirades like some emotional angsty teenage bitch from that era.  He’s got the attention span of a goldfish, throwing out more random tangents about being high than Brian Hollywood throws out apologies while sucking.”

He wrapped up his comments about Mike Best by saying the following: “Look, I’m just doing my father’s business now.  If Mike wants to cry and be salty, responding back to my shit; that’s fine.  I don’t need to give that sad, soft as fuck narcissist any more fuckin’ attention.  Unlike ungrateful sons, I don’t need anymore toxic relationships”  He goes onto say Mike’s the pot calling out the kettle when he talks about thirst.

Transitioning from other topics.  Darin mentioned how grateful he was to wrestle his other fellow Final Alliance members meant to him, even if he took the pinfall.  Ultimately, he wanted to ensure his father had the best chances to win back the HOW World Championship for the Final Alliance.  Zion says “The HOW World Championship’s home is always amongst the Final Alliance.  It’s what GOD wants, and it’s what GOD gets.”

Zion is proud he could give Lee Best the best advantage in the ICONIC main event.  Upon asking about his plans for ICONIC.  “Ultimately, it’s what my daddy wants,” Zion exclaims.  “I want to make my new father proud of me.  Rather he wants to reward my loyalty or not—it doesn’t matter.  You could lump me into a cluster fuck tag team to silence all the haters.  You could give me that NERD CONOR FUSE.  When Lee asks me to jump.  I’ve always responded with HOW FUCKIN’ HIGH!”

All Zion’s wanted to do is do what’s in the best interests of High Octane Wrestling.  His record shows it over the course of the 10 years since he’s joined up with the promotion—even on breaks.  He yammers on about how he’s never needed to run off to UTA-H or OCW for attention.  He’s stood on the battlefield of HOW as a loyal solider for Lee.

“I’m glad Lee finally recognizes the value that DMZ Enterprises brings to his brand. While some people want to de-value the jacket since I joined the Final Alliance.  Ultimately, those fools are blinded by their own jealousy.  Lee Best and I will go onto do great things together.”

Zion ended this last call stating if anyone has a problem with him selling his soul to GOD; his office is always open.  He’d be more than happy to take appointments inside the ring and silence the fuckin’ critics.  He also told everyone to keep giving GOD more clicks.