Cracking News

For immediate release:

Hot off the heels of MVW’s Supershow, HEARTLAND, which saw superstars from across all walks of the PWA competing, the HIGHWAYMEN, with a little bit of help from CLAY BYRD were able to get on the board against the gargantuan favorites, and just overall darlings of the wrestling world, EGG BANDITS.

When asked for a comment, CANCER JILES, the most famous and successful EGG BANDIT of them all, had this to say about the event and match outcome. It should be noted that JILES wasn’t in attendance, and instead listened to it briefly on an AM radio.

“Of course they had to cheat. After all, it’s what Cowardmen do. As such, instead of me resting and preparing to steal the show at Rumble at the Rock, now, because things like integrity and sportsmanship mean nothing, I’m going to have to go on down to whatever backwoods, inbred, alligator fuck den slash backyard brothel pit they are having their next show at and finish the JOB all by myself. YES. I even rented a pontoon boat already so I’ll be able to get out there.”

There you have it.

Match Number Four in the Best of Five for the HOTv TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS OF THE WORLD will feature CANCER JILES in a handicap match against THE HIGHWAYMEN.

The Bandits hold a 2-1 advantage over THE HIGHWAYMEN.