Apparently my War Games team is down something like 10 wrestlers to 4 heading into the big event. I dunno the exact number, I wasn’t paying attention. The new Kirby game for Nintendo Switch is out and it’s so pop’n’fresh. Anyway, as I sit here and ramble to you, the gamers, watching from home just know that I, Conor Fuse, the Locker Room Leader and the most amazing wrestler in the High Octane planet is gonna MAKE IT RIGHT this Sunday night! Yes, why wouldn’t I? I’m calling for a Team Meeting. Clay, Solex and my mentor Simon, please meet me in the middle of the ring and we will figure this shit out. It’s time I took charge! I own #97MarioRed after all. No one has taken it from me and no one is gonna come War Games. I’ve already leveled up to The Ultimate WAR Gamer so how can they? Answer: They can’t.
On top of this Team Meeting we will be hosting an OPEN HOUSE for anyone else who’d like to join the crew. So if they have like 15 wrestlers who’ve qualified for War Games then we need 11 MOAR. Applications are open IMMEDIATELY. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org (actual email, it’s mine, please email) a resume, cover letter, references and what you would name the next Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild game. Please, NO BOTS*. You know who you are. Serious inquires only. Mike, you wanna come outta retirement against your own team? That’s motherfucking chaos right there, buddy.
Maybe if I didn’t RETIRE Cecilworth Farthington, he’d join. Oh wait, I poked the bear. Please spare me from your quick witted commissioner reply. Just join the team. I think we could be a great co-op. In Smash Bros. you see strange combos all the time.
David Noble, I’ve decided to forgive you. Sure, you didn’t sign the long term contract WHEN we were a team but you still ultimately signed it. Let’s be bros again, c’mon down.
Maybe there’s another person out there who’s not in THIS game that would like to play? Anyone have Malak Garland’s phone number? I heard that Brandon Youngblood from PRIME is decent. Cancer Jiles was a champion once. Maybe he’d like to fail again? Oh boy, look at me, opening up forbidden warp zones LOL. I am so much fun.
Clay, stay in your lane. You’re the 2nd Player on this one.
Okay see everyone Sunday! Go Conor Fuse Go!
*also no Steve Harrison’s. No one wants that.