High Octane Rag Sheet: Issue 1

Greetings and salutations, High Octane Wrestling, and welcome to the inaugural edition of the HIGH OCTANE RAG SHEET.

Before we get into all the news, rumors, juicy gossip, and possibly straight up bullshit, I want to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is P$NNY L4NE, and I am the new Head of Digital Media here in High Octane Wrestling. After spending close to a decade producing boring ass press releases for D-List celebrities you don’t care about, I dipped my toes into the world of independent wrestling and have never looked back. As a part of the new regime of High Octane Wrestling staff members, I’m dedicated to helping promote and advance a product that I believe in and that I’ve already been an existing fan of! With that said, as the Editor-In-Chief of the Rag Sheet, I’m already boring myself, so let’s get down to business!

 

• It has been reported, but not confirmed, that HOW Hall of Famer Scottywood’s Hall of Fame watch was stolen from his dressing room, following last week’s Refueled. Our anonymous source claims to have spotted Jace Parker Davidson at the scene of the alleged crime, and given that Davidson will face Scottywood at Refueled 49, this one might just turn out to be true. While Scottywood wasn’t available for a comment, BFF Bobbie Carey told the Rag Sheet that the story was “absolute bullshit”. Given the gravity of becoming a High Octane Hall of Famer, the theft of a Hall of Fame watch is more than just a casual prank… it’s an act of utter disrespect, so here’s hoping Carey is right!

 

• HOW Hall of Famer Steve Solex was recently spotted at baseball’s “Opening Day” by fellow Hall of Famer Christopher America. America claims that he observed Solex not placing his hand over his heart during the singing of the American National Anthem. Big if true? The two have recently had some tension, with rumblings of a brawl that could take place around a very American holiday, so we’ll take this one with a grain of salt.

 

• Rumors are abound of a potential faction between three newcomers, JJ Starfire, Noelle Rivers, and MDM. “The Trinity”, “The Triforce”, and “The Rivers Three” are just a few of the names being thrown around backstage, but no credible sources indicated that there’s anything to this one. With Starfire and Rivers already drafted to Team CEO for War Games, and MDM drafted by Michael Oliver Best, the three new signings are already experiencing baptism by fire in HOW!

 

• Hollywood may be knocking on the door for one HOW wrestler, and I’m not talking about Brian The Executive. Rumor has it that Hall of Famer Scott Stevens has been approached about a role in an upcoming science fiction film called (are you sitting down?) Hungry Hungry Hippos 2: Game Warden. We really hope that this one turns out to be a false alarm, but with the rise of the “Zion Is In The Gorilla” meme, we suppose that anything is possible at this point.

 

• Are Cecilworth Farthington’s visa issues a bunch of bullshit? The water cooler here in the office has been buzzing about a potential return to the ring for the HOW Commissioner, with some claiming that they’ve overheard negotiations between the Hall of Famer and his CEO best friend. The War Games draft has already seemingly been finalized, but as HOW likes to remind you at every turn… the card is SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

 

• A source has told me PERSONALLY that David Noble is absolutely FURIOUS with management over his upcoming match with Conor Fuse. Wrestling your tag team partner with the World Championship on the line is definitely a difficult proposition, especially with a spot in War Games on the line… Noble allegedly stormed the office of Michael Oliver Best following the swap that made him the number one seed, losing his mind over the CEO being allowed to tamper with a team member he didn’t even draft. Whether true or not, you have to admit that it’s a pretty good point.

 

• Missouri Valley Wrestling purchased by HOW? That’s the rumor, if you believe it. MVW is already operated under the HOTv banner, but one former MVW official told us that the company is getting ready for a big buy out from High Octane Wrestling. With the recently announced “TEN-X” program being leaked earlier this week, could this be a power play by The Mikes to gut yet another independent wrestling company, steal their biggest stars, and absorb them into the hivemind? My gut says no, but we’re going to keep watching this one. Remember, folks… the info comes from a former MVW official. They tend to be disgruntled.

 

That’s all for this edition of the High Octane Rag Sheet, folks. I’ve got to go chase a lead… I have it on good authority that new LSD Champion Steve Harrison may secretly be lactose intolerant.

THE PEOPLE DESERVE THE TRUTH!

Until next time, I’m P$NNY L4NE, and if you didn’t read it here… it probably isn’t true.