ELDER SCROLLS WEIGH IN

Memoirs From
THE ELDER SCROLLS

The Elder Scrolls wanted in on all 97 different news posts from yesterday. Here are their thoughts.

• Elder Scrolls hope The Board reconstruct the Human Resources Department. They have not heard an HR update since September. Ruth likes to know everyone is being appropriately taken care of.
• Elder Scrolls wonder why Arthur Pleasant has such ridiculous demands. You won one match, son. Good luck getting that extra money you won’t receive.
• Elder Scrolls kinda find Cecilworth Farthington funny but are thrilled if his television segments will remain as short as his news quips. Get in, get out.
• Elder Scrolls hope David Noble sticks around for a while. Margo has taking a liking to him.
• Elder Scrolls secretly like Jeffrey James Roberts. Eva is making banana nut muffins and will ship them to his holding cell in the hopes the former HOTv Champion feels better. Eva’s grandchildren love her banana nut muffins.
• Elder Scrolls are excited for the Mike Best Era and hope it comes with a new set design for the Refueled shows. The Elders always love a new set design.
• Elder Scrolls weren’t born yesterday and understand a potential War Games team of Steve Solex, Clay Byrd, Steve Harrison and Joe Bergman may be developing. Elder Scrolls believe it is wise for The Ultimate Gamer to start assembling his own team soon, or he may be left with someone like Great Scott. The Elders do like Great Scott. Nothing wrong with him per se. He speaks very clearly for all of them to hear.
• Elder Scrolls do, however, demand more Steve Solex on their television. Bring Your Son To Work Day, almost as vital of a Refueled theme as a potential Senior’s Day. Benjamin just moved into the DLC and he’s a big HOW/Solex fan. He’s dying to attend. No literally, he’s dying. We all are.

Elder Scrolls want to congratulate the winners from March to Glory. They look forward to continue providing the most relevant news in High Octane.