Good evening everyone…….we here at HOWrestling.com just received the following press release and after checking with Uncle Ollie we can confirm this is legit.
Please see below…
Fans of High Octane Wrestling (and, more specifically, of overly muscled men with very low centers of gravity) have something … BIG … to look forward to in the coming weeks! STRONK GODSON (Editor’s Note: I’ve been informed to never—EVER—forget to capitalize the “Stronk Man’s” name under threat of physical harm) has reportedly signed with HOW!
Though an unfamiliar name to most pro wrestling fans, enthusiasts of the unregulated-and-untested, underground, Midwestern United States bodybuilding circuit are well aware of the five-foot-nine, three hundred pound humanoid fire hydrant.
HOW reached out to regional bodybuilding promoter Dale West, who had this to say about his past interactions with GODSON: “Are you out of your goddang minds!? You can YouTube what that [EXPLETIVE DELETED]-ing idiot did at one of my shows back in January 2020 if you want a little taste of what you’ve got in store for you! He’s a damn moron with short fuse!”
GODSON’s “manager”/pseudo endocrinologist/fake chemist Shelley Greene handwaved the ordeal: “STRONK had injured his ring finger on his left hand a week or two before he was set to shatter the deadlift record in the state of Minnesota, so we experimented with a few ‘pharmacological’ treatments, yadda yadda yadda, it triggered a hormonal imbalance, blah blah blah, an old man got lippy with my boy and learned a valuable lesson that day. Won’t happen again. It was a blip—a freak occurrence. A miscalculation on my part, for which I take sole responsibility.”
Greene shared with HOW that GODSON has “that Andre the Giant disease” but “it just causes him to grow wider, not taller.” Which is fine, according to Greene, because STRONK has but one desire in life: To be bigger. Because bigger is always better. “Make no mistake, though, the man despises fat people. We’re trying to work through his prejudices one at a time. It’s a process. Be patient.”
When asked why GODSON has decided to pursue a career in pro wrestling, Greene responded, “In order for STRONK to reach his physical peak, we, uh, need lots and lots of money for protein and ‘supplements.’ That stuff doesn’t grow on trees. GODSON is going to come in, beat the piss out of each and every pencil-necked geek on the roster, collect a few championship belts, and get [EXPLETIVE DELETED]-ing hyyyyyuuuuugggeee
“To quote the voluptuous Rita Repulsa: Make My Monster Grow! That means, show us the money! We want allllllllll the opportunities! Put us in, coach! Put. Us. In!”
STRONK GODSON’s debut is still being negotiated as of publication date, but it’s expected that a promo from the Stronk Man himself will be forthcoming in the days ahead.
Greene’s closing comments: “He’s absolutely unhinged. But a sweet guy, really; I mean, like, deep, deep down. Just don’t mess with his [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and you’ll be fine. Also, he wanted me to tell you guys to make sure you have an “assload” of chicken breasts for him to gorge on in catering. If you think it’s too much, it’s probably not enough.”