Another Week, Another Message from Darin Zion’s Office
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Another Week, Another Message from Darin Zion’s Office

The following statement was released by your self-proclaimed Chief Financial Officer Darin Zion via email.  After last night’s blatant attacks on Mr. Zion while doing commentary, he sounds off below on what went down on Refueled LXXXIX:

“Dear Mr. Jatt Starr–

Fuck using your pathetic new damn name.  It makes you sound like a pathetic ballerina and not a revered Hall of Famer.  You don’t deserve my respect after tossing a 235 pound whale my direction on commentary.  You sure as hell refused to meet in my office after I explicitly gave you two weeks to resolve our situation. You made a mockery out of my benevolent attempts at ending this feeble middle school yard war.  Your actions last night proved to the world you’re not a gentleman.  You’re simply a washed up fraud that never deserved any honor or glory in High Octane Wrestling.

It proved to me you’re no better than all the other Hall of Famers who bullied me throughout my career. You’re someone looking to bury me six feet under to further elevate yourself over me.  I should have trusted my gut instinct the moment you took this issue public.  What’s so sad, Jatthew McConaughey is I expected better out of you.

When Conor Fuse aligned with you; I thought I misjudged you after all these years.  You placed your ego aside to build and push new talents in this company.  I doubted all the distrust in my heart for you pathetic Hall of Famers I once spent a career destroying.  Maybe my cold, calloused heart devalued you because of grudges I held in the past.  It’s why I chose to give you space over seeking retribution for all the pain you worthless, air sucking leeches caused me all these years.  I respect the value of the HOW Hall of Fame’s worth.  I thought I should dedicate myself to bettering the machine you and countless others spent your lives valuing.

Now you’ve shown me everything I need to see.  With my recent nomination to the Hall of Fame class last November, a clear vision formed in my head.

I must purge the world of you of all the worthless HOW Hall of Fame wrestlers to reimagine our Hall of Fame.

Ever since the inception of HOW’s Hall of Fame; we’ve inducted a bunch of people with questionable characters.  Our Hall of Fame representative should strive to live honorable, humble, benevolent lives to our communities like myself.  Unfortunately we have people who have stained our communities like Jatt Starr.  People who slut shame.  People who have murdered.  People who allow their children to rot with sociopathic dictators.  All of them litter the ranks of our most worthy challengers.

We don’t have people who give back to the community like I have.  We don’t have people who do simple autograph sessions.  We don’t have people building sick children’s wishes out.  Only a bunch of selfish, psychopaths fill our wings.

Today, I vow to end the reign of those sick and twisted people like Jatt Starr. Today I pave the way to a new vision for our Hall of Fame.  One that doesn’t cost us $97,000 a year per liability given this distinguished honor.  We funnel millions of dollars into legal costs for these shit stains to our society.  And they hold back our overall growth to this business and our communities.  After all, we need to maximize our profits for Michael Oliver Best’s best interest.

It’s time I do what Lee Best failed to do when he held the reins of our precious machine and cancel each and every last one of them.

This week I start with eliminating John Sektor and his pathetic trainee Adam Ellis. Because of Jatt Starr’s recent actions; I plan on making examples out of both men to advance to the Finals of the Maurako Cup.

Sektor, you can blame your former partner for my sudden change in attitude.  It’s not like you ever take any responsibility for your actions anyways.  You only shirk it off onto more competent individuals than yourself.  Take Chloe for example.  You let Max Kael shred every once of innocence from that poor, young woman’s heart.  Shoving your nose deep into copious bags of cocaine really paid off for her future.  It won you a Dad of the Year award right there. 


Of course it didn’t!  All you were was a burden to her life.  Your addiction led HOW to multiple litigations.  It bled our company money.  We’ve backed those child support payments up to the North Kaelrean government to make DAMN sure we provided for your daughter’s future unlike yourself.  How in the hell haven’t you let Adam Ellis down at this point in his short career?  How have you managed to not fuck up his career?  A young, bright star like Ellis under the wing of a junkie like you will only destroy his future.  You’re a failed father that no one respects.  Even if you rack up 1 million dominant LSD Championship defenses, John.  No one respects your line of work.

At the end of the day, all your efforts amount to nothing.  Eventually you piss away all the profits you earned in this business.  You give up on everyone you love.  Hell even Jatt saw how fucking washed up you’ve become in your times.  Trying to recapture your glory by touring promotions outside the HOTV banner.  You’ve turned into a parody of the Sektor everyone once knew.

You’re the worst father figure in HOW.  It’s no wonder you’ve rubbed off on your former partner in crime, Jatt Starr.  Look at what HIS efforts did to his precious Gilda.  He failed her on all accounts.  Just like you failed Chloe!

I don’t plan on failing my children, John and Jatt.  I plan to become the beacon of hope in my little step daughter Lexi’s life.  I’ll live an upstanding life, protecting her from the cold, ruthless world you guys couldn’t do.  I’ll dedicate my life into becoming an upstanding citizen she can feel proud to call dad.  I won’t let her fall into ruthless dictators hands.  I won’t allow criminals to shoot her.  I will protect her and give her the life a father should be proud to give her.

Maybe I’ll live such a good life, Chloe and Gilda will call ME their father.  I’m a benevolent father.  I sure as hell won’t let them down in life like you did.

All Jatt had to do was come to my office and square this situation away like a father would do.  If Jatt would have exhibited his emotions instead of burying my career.  I would have apologized.  I would have extended my hand in peace.  But now he’s declared war by making look lesser than last night.  He injured my ribs using Bobbinette Carey as a battering ram.  He shrank Xander and I’s chances at securing the HOW Tag Team Championships.  And he made this personal.  You gave me no other choice, Lowest Priest of the Jattican.

At Refueled LC, you’re about to see a change in attitude from your self-proclaimed Chief Financial Officer.  I’m stepping out to that ring more ruthless and more vile than I’ve ever been.  You’re about to see shades of the 2014 Darin Zion stepping into that ring.  One that doesn’t give two shits about the legacy of its Hall of Famers.  One that wants to injure and obliterate everyone who stands in his way to achieving glory.  The one that doesn’t give two shits about your fucking emotional health.

I’m in it to win some damn gold, and I’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals.

Jatt, if you stand in my way; I’ll grab the nearest fucking shovel, and I’ll make sure to Kostoff you.  I’ll make sure you join Maximillian Wilhelm Kael in Valhalla.  Don’t be stupid.  Don’t stand in my way.  Don’t you dare get into Sektor and I’s business this week.  Otherwise I might have to follow through with my initial promise I made when this whole ordeal started.



Darin Adam…”

The email cuts off before the signature finishes.  One can only assume after Sir Simon Sparrow’s actions last night, Darin Zion is visibly upset.  It definitely inspired a change in attitude.  Keep tuning into the Chronicles of the Masters of the Multiverse to find out more details about this escalating situation.