THE OFFICE OF HIGH OCTANE HUMAN RESOURCES
Storage Room B Human Resources Suite 97
Following an exhaustive investigation by the Human Resources department we can confirm the cause of the recent HOTv outage. Working on conjunction with North Korean operatives; ComCast and Lennar were found installing signal blockers and mental inhibitors in cards. These cards were later sold to senile elders who, in turn, worked with CONOR FUSE to disperse them to fans as PASS cards. This insidious plot caused a delay in the much anticipated Bottomline PPV, classic Conor Fuse.
It was later discovered that ground lines were also tampered with. At the site of the tampering more PASS cards were found along with a set of dentures. The scent of talcum powder hung in the air according to reports. The linkage between the PASS cards and a foreign government is troubling and our findings have been handed over to the FBI, the CIA, the NSC, the DHS, the CCK, the DCK, the SHT and the FCK.
As for a motive? Clearly someone in the match didn’t want it to happen. That name will go unmentioned to keep the identity of this traitorous scum a secret but…CONOR FUSE definitely set this up to avoid facing Sutler Reynolds-Kael, the World Champion and President of Human Resources. And World’s Greatest Gamer. That’s just Sciences, I’m not even spoiling anything. But pretend like you don’t know when Lee asks or you see Conor crying in the hall.
…………Bobbinette Carey isn’t coming, just ask her. Or just wait, she’ll let you know.