THE OFFICE OF HIGH OCTANE HUMAN RESOURCES
Storage Room B Human Resources Suite 97
Contrary to concerns floated recently the President of Human Resources, Sutler Reynolds-Kael, the Son of Scions, has not gone missing and will still be competing in War Games. While it is true that we have been unable to contact the SRK this should not be seen as a sign to panic or be concerned. In fact, given Sutler’s age, it is entirely reasonable to believe that he is simply taking this time to meditate in the woods far away from technology.
As we all know War Games is a very difficult match and everyone is searching for that unique edge. Sutler certainly was not kidnapped by the Yakuza or murdered in a back alley for his Air Jordans, this isn’t L.A. after all. No, his disappearance is likely totally rational and shouldn’t have anyone panicked.
What if he was eaten by a Shark though, guys? That happens a lot around here right? Okay we just checked the Shark Attack Database and there haven’t been any in like 100 years so we can rule out Shark Attacks.
Because nothing is wrong, everybody!
Sutler, if you read this please call HOW because nothing is wrong and everything is cool!
….but what if he was the FIRST shark attack in 100 years?!