THE OFFICE OF HIGH OCTANE HUMAN RESOURCES
Storage Room B Human Resources Suite 97
Zeb Martin, hi there, I hope your doing well! It certainly isn’t going to be a very fun War Games for you, buddy, what after you had your head caved in by “Cool” Cancer Jiles. You should probably speak to a speech therapist cause only Jiles understood you mumbling the words “Please Put Me Out Of My Misery” in 750 words. Chin up, though, somebody has to take the pin and you’re just one of those guys whose real good at taking them.
Nothing to be ashamed about just don’t get your hopes up at War Games.
For real, bro, remember when I magnanimous offered to team with you to win the Tag Titles? You let me down then just like you let down your tag partner when you both lost. Of course I do see the potential in you, Zeb, I see what you could be. Which is why it pains me that you continue to be the wet fish that is Zeb Martin, weird sounding fun-time hick.
It’s not all bad news though cause I’m offering you the chance to join me one last time. In War Games if you surrender or better yet, if you help me to achieve victory I will be a kind and giving Champion. I promise to grant you a title shot and not only that, I promise to elevate you above just some sidekick.
You’ll be MY Sidekick.
Think about it, Zeb. Do you really want to be known as the guy who can’t even win verbal spats with birds?
Hugs and kisses,
..don’t reply to this, idiot, just help me win in War Games.