We are here.
We are having fun.
Do not send help.
We do not need help.
Thank you.
Please send help.
Other notes:
-Darin “The BA Killer” Zion has crossed the line and joined Union forces. We wish him the BEST while representing his team inside the double cage at War Games.
-While Steve Solex’s reasoning for abandoning ship remains unknown, outside of Lee Best telling him he’d put him in the Hall of Fame, we can confirm that World Double Champion and Colonel of the Best Alliance War Games team, Cancer Jiles, left Jace high and dry as part of a parlay between himself and Lee. Said parlay involved the handicap match, and the BONUS proceedings following the show. Both men’s backs are said to have scratch marks on them.
-Regarding said BONUS proceedings, Jiles had this say, “If I weren’t on a ship in the middle of the ocean I’d say that was just the tip of the iceberg for my old buddy, Doozer. Damn it. I said it anyway. Somebody get my violin.”
-Regarding Bobby Dean, Jiles had this to say, “Bobby is going to be fine. He’s going to make a full recovery aboard the ship, and when he is able he’ll join the rest of the help. Sorry, I didn’t mean the Best Alliance, I meant the ship staff on board the USS Octane.”
-Regarding an eGG Bandits reunion funded by Lee Best, Jiles had this to say, “No comment at this time.”
-Steve Harrison, amazingly enough, still has yet to thank Cancer Jiles for his part in securing the Tag Team Titles. “Maybe one day.” A source close to the situation put it.
-The Tag Team Titles recently went missing, but were quickly found underneath Jatt and Sektor’s bunkbeds.
-Teddy Palmer was last seen body surfing his way to Tokyo. He was said to be, “miles ahead of the ship.”
-Zeb Martin is still employed by High Octane Wrestling.
-Congrats to 2021 Hall of Fame Class. Kudos guys!