Hey you, yes YOU reading this! Conor Fuse here. What’s up? Have you played any cool games lately? Did they finally fix those Cyberpunk 2077 glitches yet? Haha, good times.
Anyway, just thought I’d jump on the old laptop for a moment and let YOU dear gamer know that Re-FUSED LV is gonna be LiT! Shit, you’ve got that Easter EGG guy vs. the World 7, Level 4 Boss Dan Ryan. Yeah, that’s right, I said 7-4. He ain’t no 8-4, LOL. Winner apparently main events vs. Mega Boss EA Mike! Good luck with that ahahah.
Then there’s goomba Darin Matthews vs. Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties Teddy Palmer. Is that video game reference lost on you? www.google.com bro.
What else do we have here? Give me a second, I’m just scrolling thru…
Ohhh red koopa shelled Hollywood guy vs. SEGA Bass Fishing’s Zeb Martin. I also get some Red Dead Redemption vibes from Zeb… if RDR was set in Georgia. Man, what a state let me tell you.
Yadda yadda yadda, some other matches here… my attention span is fleeting…
OH RIGHT! The reason why I’m typing this out!
REBOOT JACK HARMEN AKA HIGH FLYER AKA THE LUNATIC! The Reboot event of the year comes to you live on Re-FUSED LV!
Like all good video games and movies, eventually that game shark gets JUMPED. And let’s be honest, High Flyer did the jumping a loooooong time ago. He just never got the memo.
But that’s where *I* come in. (Round of applause for ME, yay!) Not only did I crack a bunch of VHS tapes over his skull (BELL CLAP CRACK FTW) but I realized something while I was doing it.
Dude needs a REBOOT.
Sure, sounds good with me.
See y’all this weekend!
Yo Jatt Moto, you keeping those Tag Team Achievements and Secondary Trophy warm for me? Bahaha, I kid, dude, I kid. They’re mine already. Now run along and go make that protein shake. Ask Harrison for some milk while you’re at it. 😉
Okay, this is me signing off. Can’t wait to hit RESET on High Flyer this weekend!