Hi there, this is Jack Dawson, with HOWrestling.com. I recently sat down for an interview with HOW’s resident video master, Conor Fuse.
As a special 8-bit midi version of the Between the Ropes theme song hits, Jack Dawson sits behind his large wooden desk waiting to kick things off.
Jack Dawson: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Between the Ropes and I am your host, Jack Dawson!
The studio audience claps and cheers with enthusiasm.
Jack Dawson: Last week we kicked off the return of BTR with a bang as the HOW Tag Team champions, Jatt Starr, and John Sektor…….
The audience lays in the boos.
Jack Dawson: Ya’ll have no respect I swear.
Jack shakes his head in disgust..
Jack Dawson: Last week, we celebrated the return of BTR with the StarrSek Industries as our guest and the hits keep on rolling as we have the Caster of Dreams, the Master of the Power Glove and Nintendo Zapper. The Man who tamed the Duck Hunt Dog. He is “The Vintage” Conor Fuse!
Fuse walks into the picture, sporting green Adidas golf pants and a white and light green collar shirt. His hair isn’t as messy as it typically is, either. Conor walks up to Jack and shakes his hand, then he finds his seat across the way.
Jack Dawson: Welcome to the show Mr. Fuse.
Conor Fuse: Hey, thank you so much for having me! I didn’t think I would get an interview so quickly… but I really appreciate the chance to speak to the HOW Community!
Jack narrows his eyes at Conor.
Conor Fuse: What’s up? You’re creeping me out. Don’t tell me you’re here to fight me, too?
Conor asks as he starts to get uncomfortable at Jack looking at him. Jack chuckles.
Jack Dawson: Nothing like that. I was just noticing your Game Boy wasn’t with you is all.
Conor breathes a sigh of relief.
Conor Fuse: Yeah, as you noticed my henchman, The Game Boy, also known as The “Mini” Boss, isn’t with me these days. It’s not that I’m going through this HOW campaign alone, Jack. You’ll see The Game Boy again. He’s always lurking around… but after Jatt Moto cost me the Icon Championship and a chance to send SHOCK WAVES into this system, man oh man, I realized I needed to make a few changes. I realized I want to fight with honour and dignity. I don’t need a hulking man to get my wins for me. I can do it myself!
Fuse stops and smirks into the camera.
Conor Fuse: That being said, I have a bad-ass 6’6”, 16-bit BOT waiting with a second controller in case anyone crosses the line. I’ll deem it necessary to bring him back when the time is right. Anyway, Jack, did you pick up the new PS5 yet? I already have it and the new XBox Series X. I’ve got… connections if you get what I’m saying. I could get you them both if you’d like.
Conor’s eyes are shifty.
Conor Fuse: Don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal. I promise.
Jack’s eyes light up.
Jack Dawson: HELL YEAH!
Jack coughs and gets professional.
Jack Dawson: Of course, if it’s not an inconvenience.
Conor Fuse: You got it, friend!
There’s an awkward pause as the conversation shifts.
Jack Dawson: Before we get into your HOW run, give the fans who might not know you a little bit of information about yourselves. What companies have you wrestled in? What are some of your biggest accomplishments? Biggest matches? Etc.
Conor Fuse: Oh great question! So I initially had a small run in fWo, alongside my older brother, Tyler. We shifted gears into DEFIANCE four years ago. We teamed there for some time, capturing the Tag Team Achievements. Most of my accomplishments revolve around co-op play. It’s only been the past year where my bro and I have gone our separate ways, seeking out single player campaigns, if you get what I’m saying. Of course, being the youngest brother and the second player, it’s been a tough transition for me but I’m really enjoying it! Tyler… well, if you haven’t met him, people say he’s nothing like me. He’s all serious and stoic and violent. I don’t think he even games anymore! We haven’t spoken for a while. Another fact is, I have an even older brother named Roland. He’s likely the most famous of us in the wrestling world, going by the name LLB. He’s a lawyer and previously wrestled in PIW, Action Wrestling, jOlt and a few other programs, becoming World Champion of these games on many occasions. He’s out there wrestling in Japan, the EU and UK right now, doing his thing. He’s not a big gamer, though and he’s a few years older and Tyler and I. Tyler and I don’t speak about him much. He doesn’t follow the Fuse name, either. Then again… Tyler might not be at this time, too.
The Vintage was rambling on, clearly passionate about his brothers, even if it’s seemingly not reciprocated by them and, perhaps, the audience.
Conor Fuse: Soooo, I have authored my own manual.
Jack looks at Conor a little puzzled.
Jack Dawson: Manual?
Fuse digs into his pocket and pulls out an old school looking “Game Boy-like” instruction booklet. It reads “THE VINTAGE: CONOR FUSE” on the front of it in a retro font. He leans over and hands it to Dawson.
Conor Fuse: There ya go. My complete history, moves, strategies, everything you need to know! Just… uh… just don’t share that with anyone, okay? I don’t want my manual getting in the wrong hands. I didn’t write that autobiography for everyone.
Dawson tries to make sense of this “manual” but accepts it nonetheless.
Jack Dawson: Appreciate it.
Jack says as he places the manual to the side.
Jack Dawson: Let’s change gears….of war, shall we??? See what I did there.
Jack tries to make a funny but the joke falls flatter than Kevin Capone’s HOW career.
Jack Dawson: Now when you came into the company you were red hot winning four matches in a row and then you hit a bump in a row with losses to Hughie Freeman, Dan Ryan, and Jatt Starr at Rumble at the Rock. How do you feel right now? How are you planning on bouncing back and climbing that ladder once again to face Shao Kahn in the finals of the tournament?
Conor Fuse: Hey, I never expected this game to be easy. I stored up on Lives before I plugged in the HOW system. You don’t wrestle for five-plus years without planning for a scary singles campaign, Jack. I saved lots and lots of Lives.
Fuse leans forward, as if trying to convey something off-camera to Jack.
Conor Fuse: Don’t tell anyone… but I packed a whole bunch of Continues, too.
Conor leans back in his chair, shaking his head like this was earth-shattering news and the interviewer may have been blindsided. (Spoiler: he wasn’t). Anyway, Conor takes a deep breath and speaks regularly again.
Conor Fuse: So, to get back to your point. I will lose, there is no doubt about that… but I will win some, too. Whatever it takes, Jack, W or L, you’re going to get my best effort. No one is going to watch The Vintage get crushed in the middle of that ring! Unless, of course, I do, hehe. Balls to the walls, baby! If I go down, I go down hitting every combo button possible!
Jack Dawson: I respect the fire and tenacity in your tone Conor because for some reason you caught the eye of a certain Hall of Famer.
Conor Fuse: Yes. Yes that seems to be a theme now. Jatt Moto first… Scottywood to follow. Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, as I like to call him. He’s stupid, angry and reckless. Only difference is Pyramid Head carried a giant knife… “Scotty” carries a hockey stick. Bud, my 8-bit sprite was developed in Toronto, Canada… THE home of hockey. I can give you a 101 regarding the controls on how to use that stick but this is a story for another time.
Jack Dawson: What did you do to piss Scottywood off?
Conor Fuse: Well… do you care to tell me? Perhaps you’d have more insight than I do. I don’t know what in hell got into him! Look, Jack, you seem like a swell BOT, maybe even someone I can game with later on. I know Pyramid Head’s a Hall of Famer and partial owner of this company but I have no clue what’s in that man’s head or why he decided to stalk me this entire time. If I did, I certainly would address it.
Before Dawson can reply, Conor’s mind is working overtime.
Conor Fuse: I think he’s angry. He hates his life… his recent losses. Take it out on the new, happy guy. That’s an easy way to go. Well do I look happy to you, Jack? Huh?
Perhaps Fuse doesn’t realize it but he is smiling and seems like he’s having a pleasant time, all things considered.
Jack Dawson: Well you are smiling…..
The Vintage continues to smile. It’s turned into a cheesy overthetop smile, putting it on for the cameras, frozen in time.
Jack Dawson: Well, I think he got the message loud and clear when you beat the hell out of him last week.
Conor Fuse: Had to. Wasn’t in my nature to go out and do something like that but I had to. I’ve caught onto this game… High Octane has some excellent Bosses. Many of them, however, are so angry… so mean. Then again I guess that’s what happens when you live in your castle, all alone. It’s tough at the top. The fun comes from playing through the levels and a lot of these guys, from Jatt to Dan Ryan, Sektor to High Fyler, the champions to their challengers, everyone here has an edge to him. Okay, maybe not Jatt. He’s a snake… but everyone else gets so furious. I had to channel that, Jack. I had to find my Evil Within and I am going to take that all the way to… wherever it is we end up.
Conor gives a wink.
Jack Dawson: Is that what you were channeling a few days ago when you stalked Scotty all over the Best Arena?
Conor Fuse: Stalked? He stalked me! For three weeks, Jack… in the shadows. Standing there, eyeing me like I’m some… [shivers]. I’m not unapproachable. I want to make friends in HOW. Come over, say hi. Then hit me with your barbed wire weapon haha.
Jack Dawson: Also, what do you have to say to Scotty that ICONIC it’s going to be game over for you…..scratch that, it’s going to be a Game Misconduct.
Fuse throws his hands in the air. He’s getting more serious.
Conor Fuse: Bro… your guess is as good as mine. But I will tell you what. No more speculation. No more getting hit from cheap attacks. Next week, Refueled, I am calling Pyramid Head out and he’s going to give me the answers I want to hear… or he’s going to end up in the hospital with numerous Lives lost. No hiding, no games. Simply man-to-man. I can have a good time and chat with you here but next week… with Iconic in my sights… it’s time to set up to the next level.
Jack Dawson: Well thank you for coming onto the show and whomever you defend your titles against may they be warned they are in for a fight.
By now, The Vintage is feeling good again, stress free.
Conor Fuse: Thank you so much! This was a super swell time! I’m gonna go game, you can join if you’d like.
Conor waves into the camera.
Conor Fuse: Hi Big Boss! Hi mom! Really looking forward to playing next week! Pyramid Head… GET YOUR GAME FACE ON!!!