Poor Poor Kaeltiful Me
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Poor Poor Kaeltiful Me

“If you put anything into quotes it seems important.” – Max Kael


The weight of stone, concrete, steel and glass crushed down on his body as his plans literally crumbled in on him. 


Pain wracked his body but the Minister didn’t care, his red eye glaring up through the rubble that made his shallow grave. He couldn’t hear anything but he knew that in that moment Mike Best was being declared the winner of the match. Somehow Mike had managed to outsmart and out maneuver him resulting in his defeat. 


He couldn’t blame Max, this plan had been his, this match had been crafted completely from his own twisted machinations. The Congregation was his idea, their failure was his alone. 


Michael Lee Best was better than the Minister. 


That knowledge gnawed at him as he glared upward. Perhaps he’d die down here, buried like Mike had buried almost every other challenger that had stepped up to him over the last year. Buried like every mistake that Mike ever made that he managed to out run..Someday justice might catch Mike Best but unfortunately it wasn’t today and by the look of things, it wouldn’t be the Minister. 


At first the Minister’s mind had been bent on escape as he struggled to free himself of the rubble he was pinned down by. He had pulled off more insane feats of strength in his life, if he never tried to free himself he would never know for sure. For hours he struggled, his body twisting and flexing pointlessly. Even when he thought he was making some headway the pile would shift and he would find himself even more entrapped. 


Then the anger set in. The rage and fury that poisoned his mind as he roared into his small prison spitting the names of those who had wrong him. Where his strength had become exhausted his anger fueled his aching muscles. Even after hours of ineffectual struggling the Minister refused to stop, his fingers blooded from frenzied scratching, his body bruised and twisted in his vain attempts to escape. 


It must have been a day or more burning through his vast reserves of fury. Eventually sleep overtook him and darkness washed across his mind. When he awoke he felt the soft padding of water dripping down onto his face. It must have been raining on the surface offering him the first liquid he had had in over 24 hours. It wasn’t much but in his condition he was willing to take whatever he could get. Though hatred still flickered in his heart though he had no energy with which to struggle or fight..


And so the Minister began to turn his mind toward the inevitable. Since no one had begun looking through the rubble it was safe to assume nobody would. This was his grave unless, by some miracle, someone decided to start digging in. 


The Minister’s vision of faith was skewed and demented. Whatever God he believed in was cruel, harsh and unloving, the kind of God eat Dog kind of old testament monster that demanded worship in exchange for crumbs. Perhaps that was why it was easy for him to buy into a man like Lee Best? And yet even with such a callous view of faith..


The Minister prayed. 


Not like any Lord’s prayer or anything that has ever been officially written, just.. Whatever the Minister believed his vision of God might want to hear. He mumbled it under his breath and repeated it in his mind as his red eye starred up into nothing. More rain came down, more water filtered through the ruins of Five Time Academy and he could feel it all begin to pool. At the moment it wasn’t an issue but after a few hours?


It looked like he might get to experience drowning before starving to death. So much for God. 


And so with the inevitable on the horizon the Minister made peace with his predicament. He might not have won the World Championship, he might not have ruined Mike Best’s life but he did successfully get Mike to murder his brother.. He did manage to kill Maximillian Wilhelm Kael..


He closed his eyes and waited.


To his surprise as he awaited the end he heard a distant beeping, like a truck backing up, and a smile stretched across his lips.


Perhaps there was a God after all.



Once everything was said and done the Minister had been buried beneath Five Time Academy for almost three days before the construction crew accidentally uncovered him. By the look on their faces the Minister knew that they had not expected to find someone buried beneath all that rubble. 


By the Sinclair Construction shirts they were wearing the Minister knew who had sent them.


Elenore Sinclair-Kael, Max’s cous-..no I suppose not that anymore. Max’s sister. She, through Sutler, had helped Mike to defeat him, seems like she was helping bury him as well. 


There would be time to tie up that loss end for right now there were more pressing issues. 


Lee Best. 


The God of HOW, Mike’s father and the final say in anything that happened in High Octane Wrestling, at least for right now. The old man had beaten cancer, survived near death encounters with his employees and even managed to bypass a congressional investigation into his illegal activities. He didn’t do this by being lucky though there was a certain amount of that. He managed to survive this long because he was cunning, shrewd and not above breaking a few eggs. 


Minister could appreciate a man like that.


The trouble was right now he was the last person that Minister wanted to find himself indebted too. If he wanted to continue his war with Mike then it was going to have to come at the cost of a loan from the Bank of Best. He had cashed in all his chips at No Remorse, to get the match he wanted in the manner in which he desired. That had failed and now Lee wasn’t going to be handing out any freebies. 


Unfortunately the Minister wasn’t a champion. He held no gold in High Octane Wrestling and had experienced two back to back loses at a PPV. Lee Best was a busy man and he didn’t have time for talent who did not win, even one as storied as Max Kael. To that end the Minister found himself seated in the waiting room outside of Lee Best’s office. 


Staying on brand, much of the waiting room was colored in the HOW brand red and white, several posts and pictures of HOW talents, past and present, lined the walls. His face or rather the face of Max covered many of them, some with brown eyes, some with blue. Most with only one eye. 


Weak, every single one of them save for the Minister. Weak. And pathetic. 


“Mister Kael?”


An unfamiliar voice chimed up, snapping the Minister out of his self-loathing. His #97red mechanical eye turned in it’s direction as he spotted a youthful redhead woman with intense eyes and pale skin. She wore a pair of horn rimmed glasses on a cute, slightly upturned nose giving her a bookish appearance, like a trendy librarian or a hipster wet dream. 


“Minister.” He growled toward her as he stood. He felt a spasm in his back as he stood, his body still not fully recovered from his match against Mike and being trapped beneath part of Five Time Academy for three days. His lip pulled up as he ground his metal teeth together. 


“I’m with marketing, I’m just here real quick to touch base with you before your meeting with Mr. Best, if you could just follow me.” she young woman said, her head canting to the side as a well practiced smile appeared on her heart shaped face. She didn’t wait for his reply, turning on her heel before she slipped down the hall. 


Slinking up to his feet the Minister straightened his white three piece suit out, his golden rings rattling together as he did so. The sneer on his face drew wider as he followed, his eyes watching the back of her head as if he expected Mike to explode out of it with a knife. The two of them moved down the hall before turning left into a small conference room. 


Waiting for him to enter she closed the door and moved to a long conference room table in the center of the room, taking a seat. Minister followed her but he did not sit instead preferring to stand near her, his arms across over his chest while staring down imperiously. 


“I don’t suppose you want to take a seat, Minister Kael?” she asked while motioning her hand toward one of the six other empty chairs surrounding the table. 


The Minister took a step behind the first chair, examining it carefully.


“Minister, please. Just Minister or the Minister if we’re being formal, I’ll let you decide which, darling.” he hissed at her before picking the chair up, smashing it onto the floor, the base of it shattering. The woman jumped up, a look of shock on her face as a quiet yelp escaped her lips. Staring down at the broken chair the Minister offered a slight shrug of his shoulders. “This chair is broken.” 


He moved to the then, once again carefully examining it as the women took a quick step forward. 


“It’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to sit!” 


Pausing in his examination the Minister looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow, his scowl warming up into a smile.


“Oh well you should have just led with that my dear.” 


The smile was short lived as a sneer once again crept onto his face, his arms folding across his chest. The redhead cleared her throat and took her seat once again with a nod. She retrieved a folder from the table and set it in front of the Minister.


“Since you lost to Mike Best at No Remorse it was noted that you would.. Well that you are still technically the number one contender for the HOW World Championship and Lee has ensured that you will get your title shot.. However as of right now in Marketing we are operating under the assumption that you will be facing Mike before.. Well.. before Rumble at the Rock.” 


He keeps his eyes locked on her, his 97red eye burning a hole into her while the strange blue eye seems so cold in comparison. Still, he does not interrupt her or speak, instead continuing to listen even as she slides the folder in front of him. 


“..so it seems then that Mike has issued an open challenge for Rumble at the Rock for the High Octane World Championship.”


“Assuming he has it.” the Minister interjected. 


“Yes, obviously assuming that he has the World Championship come Rumble at the Rock. But.. see.. There is a little bit of a.. Well.. from a Marketing standpoint he has put us in kind of a bind.” she said nervously, her eyes falling on the folder in front of the Minister.


“..what do you mean..” 


The Minister’s mind began to twist as it tried to figure out what Mike could have possibly done. His scowl turned into an unpleasant look of confusion as he finally broke his death glare at her to look at the folder. Greedy, gold covered fingers reached down and flicked open the folder to stare at the contract within. 


The red eye, being mechanical and unable to emote, seemed to stare off into the distance. No, it was in fact the strange blue eye that filled with hate and rage. All that he had burnt out of his system buried beneath Five Time Academy was restored with more to boot.


“..the..ARROGANCE.. The.. the.. gall.. “ 


Smashing the folder down on the table the Minister’s mind raced. 


“..this MOTHERFUCKER.. Laid down an open challenge for a DEATH MATCH.. Even after knowing he would have to face me again.” the Minister snarled as he pointed down at the folder on the table, spittle flying from his mouth as he directed his rage toward it. “Just.. ANYONE who wants to sign it? Where is the LOVE!? Where is the ART?!”


The redhead’s phone let of a soft beep causing her to scramble to pull it from her pocket. As the Minister continued to glare down at the folder she checked the message and let out a sigh of relief. The timing could have been better and so, with a deep breath she looked back up at the Minister.


“Lee will see you now.”



Oh boy, here we go again Lindsay. This is what? The third time? Maybe this is the one where you get lucky, Troy. Maybe this is the time that you finally bring all six foot twenty six inches of your self-doubt and insecurities, Super-Woman, and you’ll finally get to overthrow the big, mean, bully of a bad guy. You know what they say, third time’s the charm right? That’s the overused cliche?


I didn’t want this, I’ll be very honest with you. I figured after the last two thrashings I gave you maybe Lee might actually cut you a little slack. You got that big win over Eric Dane, woo, the same guy Darin Zion beat, you know, good for you. I mean you definitely deserve to get some top billing, you’re not a half bad wrestler, for a woman. 


Guys like Eric Dane, Brian Hollywood, Darin Matthews, “High Jack” Harmen Flyer, they all need a strong divisional lead and that’s you Lindsay. Somewhere in the high middle is where you do best and it’s where you deserve to shine.. But Lee? 


Lee told me he doesn’t want me getting in too deep on my return. See, Lee has big plans and the moment that Mike defeated me, I became a part of those plans whether I liked it or not. Unfortunately Lee decided you were my warm up, he decided you are the person that I have to set my pace with until Rumble at the Rock. You’re the sacrificial lamb that Lee demands I make to him. A pretty big sacrifice too, for a woman. 


Now, I’m not going to lie, I didn’t want this but I’m not exactly unhappy that it ended up in my lap. See, you’re the one who is kind of at blame for why this is happening. You marked yourself the moment you tried to make yourself more than you were within the Group of Death and even Max saw that. 


You decided to call yourself the Mother of GOD. You decided to sleep with Mike Best and in doing so you stained yourself with his shadow. You’ll never be better than Mike, him letting you move past him in the LBI was his way of keeping himself from ever knowing for sure and giving your victory no meaning what so ever. 


You’re just another hapless victim of the Mike Best experience and part of me is going to relish punishing you for it. Part of me is glad knowing that Mike Best put you on your back to get ahead when the Group of Death formed. Now I’m going to put you on your back to get ahead, albeit mine is a little less disturbing.. You have kids that are almost as old as Mike is for Christ’s sake.


Forgive me that last joke, I shouldn’t be slut shaming you, Lindsay Troy needs as many wins as she can get, even if she has to select them from her kid’s facebook friends list. 


I’m not interested in putting you over, Lindsay Troy, most of this federation has been doing that for the last year and you’ve still yet to hold singles gold, a feat that even MJF was able to pull off. It’s time to actually earn your spot at the table instead of expecting men like me to set the table for you. 


In closing you have been and still remain pathetic. 


Even for a woman. 


Have a blessed day.