Plane Ride From HATE

What you are about to see is leaked camera phone footage which is now being described everywhere as The Plane Ride From HATE.

Pre-recorded footage:

Voice: (over tannoy) This is your captain speaking. Expected time of arrival to Oakland is four hours and thirty minutes. Please enjoy on-board refreshments and today’s feature film: Escape From Alcatraz. Thank-you.

On-board the flight is crowded with Hired Anarchist Tactical Enforcement (H.A.T.E) officers. The specialized security team recruited by Scott Woodson are taking no risks with Pikey Fuck, Hughie Freeman.

Hughie Freeman, who seems completely out of it, sat in the middle of the seating plan is shackled in handcuffs.

All of the H.A.T.E officers (about twenty in total) seem relaxed as the opening credits to Escape From Alcatraz start. The laboured soundtrack plays and as requested, refreshments arrive on a serving trolley. The majority of H.A.T.E officers take up the opportunity to pick up some selected snacks as they go by.

Suddenly, as the serving trolley goes by Hughie Freeman; he rises from unconsciousness and knocks back a shot of whiskey. Instantly, this goes straight into the bloodstream and Hughie Freeman is alive. The Famous Gypsy Warrior jumps out of his seat and back hands the nearest H.A.T.E guard incoming. The guard clatters off of the aeroplane door and nearly bashes it open. The next guard beside him gets a stiff kick to the gut as another guard is charging. Hughie quickly takes another shot of whiskey before ducking the attack. Whilst behind the officer, Hughie chokes him with his handcuffs and appears to keep him hostage.

HUGHIE: You better turn this metal bird around to France or this fucker gets it!

The guards surround Freeman but don’t seem to be engaging in any forward attacks.

HUGHIE: If Woody wants a war now, a war is what he’s gunna get!

Abruptly, from the open cockpit what appears to be the co-pilot emerges. He is dressed exactly the same as Woodson’s trusted H.A.T.E officers and without hesitation.. zaps Hughie with a taser!

The phone camera footage fumbles into blackout.