HATE: Sunday Night Eternal Storm
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HATE: Sunday Night Eternal Storm

Late Sunday night HOTv aired the following footage from the COO of HOW and EVP of HOTv Productions Scott Woodson.  It was preceded with a commercial for #HATEclassics that will allegedly start to air on HOTv this coming summer of 2020.

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The HATE logo flashes on the HOTv screen as it cuts away to see Scott Woodson sitting behind his desk inside the AllState Arena.  Stacks of papers sit on one side of his desk in what seems to be an in bin.  Flanking him to his right is Damien Ryan, who is watching HOTv footage of all three Egg Bandits and even Zeb Martin.  To his left is John Hitchin who is drinking a Granville Island’s English Bay Pale Ale.

Scott Woodson: Ladies and Gentlemen… welcome to the return of Sunday Night Eternal Storm!

Holding for an applause, Scotty nods his head as if thousands are cheering for his announcement.

Scott Woodson: Please hold you HATE though… we are not coming back.  Merely using some time on HOTv to get some words off my chest since Refueled was consumed by an HOW reruns this week.

Damien Ryan: That was a new episode of Refueled Woodson.

Scott Woodson: I swear I’ve seen that Mike Best versus Lee Best War Games episode before… plus Max Kael playing games with so called lotteries and “picking” people like ring rusted Stevens to LSD Title matches.  Plus isn’t Stevens supposed to be benched til War Games?  And he gave me shit for going back on my retirement match…

John Hitchin: That was his own damn fucking fault for actually trusting you… he’s the one with supposed honor from that big state of Tex-ass.

Scott Woodson: Maybe… but this isn’t about Stevens… Max… or War Games… for now.  This is about you two who haven’t helped cause this stack of papers on my desk to be any less.  I got Damien here in a seemingly never ending loop of concussion protocols that show no signs of ending.

John Hitchin: You got a soft head there Ryan?

Scott Woodson: I wouldn’t talk John… cause after I snuck in a sweet contract for you… you failed your physical.  So now all I could salvage was a managers contract for your Canadian beer drinking buttocks.

John Hitchin: Buttocks?  As long as craft services has beer… I’ll be good.

Damien Ryan: This is a professional wrestling company… not some local Canuck bar where everyone has been drinking since one in the afternoon.

John Hitchin: Why would I ever start drinking that late?  And if that wasn’t craft services, where was I getting my beer from?

Damien Ryan: That was the concession stands… and we had to pay them afterwards so they wouldn’t call the police.

Scott Woodson: Ok!  Knock it off!  Geez….

Shaking his head, Woodson reaches into the drawer of his desk and pulls out a can as he cracks open a BrewDog Ghost Walker beer that was made with the help of Lamb of God.

Damien Ryan: What are you doing?!?

John Hitchin: About time you joined me Scotty.

Scott Woodson: Relax… it’s non-alcoholic.  But I need something to silence you two.  Now with you two sidelined for who knows how long… we need reinforcements.  So I took a look at some of our other old HATE contacts…

Damien Ryan: Who did you get?  Asesino?  Chris Jacobs?  Johnny Stevens?  Dallas Reeves?  Durian David Orthane?  Dane Rennier?  Wait… no… you didn’t get him?  You didn’t get…. Aceldama?

Woodson smirks and takes a sip of his non-alcoholic beer and places it back down on the desk.

Scottt Woodson: As much as I’d love to see the faces of everyone… especially Farthington’s… if I brought Aceldama back to HOW… that sadly isn’t the case.  No, I dug into the HATE well and couldn’t find anyone at this time.  So I found some new HATE… fresh HATE… HATE that no one has ever seen before….

Interrupted from in front of the desk we hear an unmistakable voice of someone who has been building a LEGO set on the floor of the office.  The camera pans down as Woodson just takes another drink of his “beer” and tries not to… he just tries to stay calm.

Franklin: LEGO HATE!!!

Scott Woodson: Lee would take all our eyeballs if I ever made you my tag team partner again.

Feeling his glass eyeball, Frankie just sulks back to his LEGO as the camera pans back up to the desk.

Scott Woodson: While Jilesy was interviewing ole Zeb with Snoozer, I was out finding myself a much more interesting new member to HATE.  Someone who is going to bring some new life to this group and maybe give me the kick in the butt I need to rebound back after that blindsided, gut less, no good, very bad attack by 24K.

John Hitchin: No good, very bad attack?  For fuck sakes, what have they done to you?  Where the fuck is the Scottywo….

Scott Woodson: HE died on that cross at Alcatraz!  HE is dead John!  DEAD!  Easter came and went… and HE didn’t rise from the dead like some kind of ChristPlow.  HE is gone!  Gone!  Gone!  GONE!

A dread pops loose from Woodson’s headband as he quickly tucks it back into place before taking a sip of his wannabe beer.

Scott Woodson: Sorry… now the newest HATEr will be revealed… this week at Refueled.  I want to keep Jiles on his toes… or walking on eggshells if you will.  Not knowing who will be here in Chicago ready to HATE him… to HATE Doozer… and to even HATE your veg-head coma buddy Bobby.

John Hitchin: But pot shots at coma patients… that’s not crossing the line… ok…

Scott Woodson: There is a war coming John… Damien… in just a bit more than a month’s time.  War Games… a show that has never been kind to me.  Just look at what happened last year.  But I refuse to let another War end like that.  No… this time I will be victorious… this time I will have the superior army and… and… HATE will win the WAR!

Damien Ryan: Thanks for watching Sunday Night Eternal Storm!  Next is… your local news?  Oh… no?  More bloodshed and HOWclassics?  That will do… so until Refueled twenty five… we HATE you too.

Again the HATE logo flashes across the HOTv screens as we return to the regularly scheduled programming of #HOW20 from September 22nd, 2008.