Meet The Staff
Speculation has been running wild since the announcement last week that all current HOW staff had been let go effective immediately.
The word in the office is that several new staff deals were already close to being inked last week, but Hurricane Dorian’s bullshit path slowed everything down and left HOW Owner Mike Best stranded in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, where he was finishing the signing of the final new referee. It is with that said that HOW is proud to announce a complete new line-up of staff members for High Octane Wrestling, effective this Friday Night Chaos.
Keith Suete (Play By Play) & Mark “The Smark” Dubois (Color)
Old School Wrasslin’ meets Pissbaby Podcasting, the team in the booth are none other than returning 2014 Monday Night Mayhem commentators Keith Suete and Mark DuBois.
Keith Suete brings 20+ years of broadcast experience to the booth, calling some of the greatest matches you never saw in the early 90’s Southern United States. A consummate professional on the microphone, he calls the action as he sees it and has little tolerance for people who don’t respect the rules. He’s a fucking play-by-play guy. You know what he is. Stop acting like you don’t know what that is.
On his right, Mark “The Smark” DuBois has recorded over 2,000 wrestling related podcasts in the basement of his mother’s home in Sudbury, Ontario, Canada. If you want to know who did it first, who did it better, and why professional wrestling has been all downhill since the late 1970s, look no further than the Internet fan that everyone loves to hate. Chock full of old school wrestling references so obscure that it sounds like he might just be making them up to fuck with you, he’s the king of analyzing work rate and backstage heat while munching down on a Flaming Hot bag of Cheetos.
The Backstage Interviewers
Brian Bare (Not Pictured) & Cassie Walsh
After a short lived run in High Octane Wrestling in 2014 and a brief stint as the personal announcer for UTA’s “The Machine”, Cassie Walsh has made her name on the independent scene, interviewing the bottom of the top and the top of the bottom for the last five years. As a backstage interviewer with boobs, she has Human Relations on speed dial, and she’s all business with a smile when the microphone goes live.
Brian Bare got to keep his job because Mike Best forgot to fire him, and never bothered to hire anyone to replace him. He’s just fucking forgettable.
The Ring Announcers
Zack Taylor knows how to pronounce names real good and agreed to come back to HOW until he gets back on his feet, since he’s currently staying with his Mom and Dad in an apartment in Eastside Chicago. He swears that his vape pen is not full of weed, and he’s a fucking liar. He doesn’t have much of a personality, because he’s a fucking ring announcer.
Mike Taylor, Senior Official Rick “Even” Stevens & Chad Kinney
(From Left To Right)
Rick “Even” Stevens makes his triumph return to HOW, and he’s brought back rookie referees Mike Taylor and Chad Kinney to make sure that the rules and regulations are enforced to his liking.
The legendary referee of the HOFC Division doesn’t take any shit, and he’s not going to allow the team that he oversees to take any either. With the knowledge in mind that Michael Best has granted these officials “referee’s discretion” in the name of deciding when to start a countout or call a disqualification, we may be about to see a much more violent High Octane Wrestling.