Introducing…Halitosis

A Three Act Play

ACT ONE

 

Fade from black.

Lights.

A dull murmur that gradually becomes more audible.

An arena. Roughly two-third’s full. The lower bowl and most of the floor are filled with people cheering. Blue chairs signify the majority empty seats in the upper levels.

Camera.

A lone cameraman, baseball cap turned around, one eye closed…the other focused on a small video screen, maneuvers around the outside of a wrestling ring looking for the best possible angle to get the best possible shot.

Action.

Two men battle inside the ring. They’re wrestling, moving fast, exchanging moves and counters, and reversals.

Two men watch the action from the outside…one each in opposite corners.

There’s a woman in a cowboy hat in one corner shouting encouragement to one of the contestants.

On the floor by the other corner, two women and a man who appears to be a janitorial specialist, complete with mop and mop bucket, and a small group of people totaling twenty holding up signs that reference “Les Miserables” cheer their wrestler on.

One man in a striped shirt tries to keep an eye on all the moving parts,

It’s the main event of a professional wrestling house show.

Missouri Valley Wrestling House Show
Hartman Arena / Park City, Kansas
Sunday March 10th, 2019

MVW Tag Team Champions Rah and ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay vs. ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler and ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell
Rah wears a double strapped brown wrestling singlet with ‘Rah’ proudly prominent on the front.

McAvay has simple black wrestling pants on and sports an open Hawaiian-style shirt with palm trees patterned all over.

Butler wears a black singlet with black elbow and knee pads, black wrestling boots.

Blackwell sport black wrestling trunks with an outline of the state of Texas stitched in the front and ‘Charlie Wrestling’ embroidered in cursive on the rear.

Wearing a t-shirt with ‘Texas Cowgirl’ in block letters in the front, a pair of light blue jeans, and cowboy boots, ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas adjusts her cowboy hat and tilts her body slightly to the side as McAvay rushes forward.

‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (shouts from the floor): “Watch out Charlie!”

As if he actually heard her, Blackwell dodges to the side and McAvay smacks the corner turnbuckle causing a slight vibration in the ring. McAvay whirls around. Blackwell launches his legs forward and crosses them around McAvay’s neck…bends his body back…and flips McAvay over.

Butler turns to Dallas.

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: “Did Charlie just do a hurricanrana?”

Blackwell is six foot four and not exactly known for his high flying ability.

Dallas shrugs.

‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas: “Yeah?”

Butler chuckles and shakes his head.

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: “Show off.”

On the other side, Rah claps his hands on the ring apron to fire up the Les Miserables at ringside.

West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy along with Bert the Janitor watch the match pensively outside the ring. Dark and Stormy both sport the official MVW Ray McAvay baseball jersey with “Show Up…Punch In…Shut Up…Get to Work” on the back.

Dark…aka…the new Mrs. Ray McAvay…nervously bites her nails as her man rolls out of harms way at the last second from a Blackwell springboard from the middle rope splash attempt.

McAvay tries to crawl over to Rah and ‘hot’ tag him in. Blackwell though grabs a handful of tights and pulls him back towards their corner. Blackwell lays in the boots. Then he reaches out and tags in ‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler.

Dark (from the floor): “Ray watch out!”

But before McAvay can react, Butler delivers a series of kicks to the midsection to soften him up. Butler drags Ray to his feet and goes to whip him into the corner. Ray alertly grabs on to Butler’s wrist and flings him across the ring. Butler slams into the corner turnbuckle. Momentarily stunned, Butler slumps over the top rope.

While McAvay pauses to catch his breath, some guy in a hooded jacket mysteriously appears at ringside and everyone knows when mysterious people suddenly show up in the vicinity of a wrestling ring, it usually foreshadows some type of shenanigans might be in the offing.

McAvay observes the hooded man as he walks right up to the ring and hops onto the ring apron. Cobwebs clearing from Butler’s head, he looks up and notices the hooded man staring down at him.

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: “Who the-“

Butler’s eyes widened when he recognizes the face. The man flips the hood back and confirms his suspicion. He wears a plain black lucha-style mask over his head and his shirt has a giant “H” on the front.

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: “Aw…shi-“

That’s all Butler gets out before ‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’…Halitosis takes in a deep, deep breath of air…filling up his lungs, intermingling with the noxious concoction he’d guzzled down mere seconds before coming down to the ring, and expels it into Butler’s face.

‘Cowboy’ Dan Butler: “…ack!,,,”

Butler’s skin immediately turns a dark shade of green. His eyes rolls up into his head. Legs give way and Butler melts to the mat.

McAvay immediately acts. He bolts over and rolls Butler up.

Charlie Blackwell ducks under the ropes and takes off across the ring to make the save. Rah instinctively jumps over the top rope and cuts Blackwell off at the pass, driving his shoulder into his stomach and spearing Blackwell into a nearby corner before he reaches McAvay.

The referee slides in. He slams his hand on the mat.

Referee: “ONE!”

He slams his hand down again.

Referee: “TWO!”

He slams his hand down a third and final time.

Referee: “THREE!”

The referee points to the bell guy.

Referee: “RING THE BELL!”

*             *             *      

ACT TWO

After the match…

Jill Berg: “Hello, my name is Jill Berg and I am the CEO of Missouri Valley Wrestling.”

The diminutive Berg, all five foot four, ninety-three pounds of her, dressed in a smart business suit, stands in the center of the ring and acts as an emcee for the in-ring segment.

Behind her, Dawn McGill joins McAvay, Rah, and Halitosis in the ring. McGill’s dressed in a silver mini-skirt and matching go-go boots and made up a la one of those femme fatales from an Austin Powers movie.

Jill Berg: “In the ring with me at this time are three people who have wrestled in Missouri Valley Wrestling – and the former Political Championship Wrestling – who’ve received the phone call to go up to the big leagues. High Octane Wrestling.”

Jill introduces them from left to right.

Jill Berg: “Dawn McGill- former LSD champion. While Dawn has had an impressive career down here in the independents, she will be always known in High Octane Wrestling for two words…”

McGill also mouths the name when Berg says it.

Jill Berg: “…Tim Shipley.”

The video screen comes to life…

High Octane Wrestling – January 21st, 2010 / LSD Title Match
Dawn McGill vs. Tim Shipley ©
[…McGill reaches up and grabs Shipley’s groin in a nasty Testicular Claw….which sends Shipley immediately on the defensive as McGill slowly makes her way up to her feet with Shipley’s balls in her hand….

Benny Newell: Tell me when it’s over!!!!

McGill sweeps the legs out from Shipley and he falls to the mat and McGill wastes no time in locking in a perfect figure four leg lock in the middle of the ring…

Shipley pounds the mat in pain and frustration but he doesn’t give up.

Hortega even counts several near falls when Shipley’s shoulders are on the mat but each time he gets up. He finally gets enough energy to try and roll the move over and they get halfway there but Shipley cannot take anymore and they roll back into the previous position and now it is McGill who is pounding the canvas as she tries to apply as much pressure as possibly…

Shipley falls back to the canvas in pain and Hortega starts another count….

UNO…..

DOS……

TRES!!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: SHE DID IT…SHE DID IT…SHE DID IT!!!!!

The Kallisten Coliseum goes crazy…]

Jill Berg: “And we all know what happened after McGill defeated Shipley for the LSD title, Shipley walked out of HOW a couple days later.”

The crowd applauds. McGill waves and smiles back.

Jill points at Rah.

Jill Berg: “Rah- known for being just…(shrugs)…Rah. OH! Of course, there was that time General Zod came to HOW for a special appearance.”

Again, to the video screen…

High Octane Wrestling – August 26th, 2010
The General Zod Segment
[…To Rah’s great consternation, General Zod saunters down the aisle. He climbs through the ropes and goes over to Cindy- Coppertone Tanning Bikini Girl.

General Zod: Today begins a new order. Your possessions, your very life, (Zod looks down at her breasts) your huge tracts of land, will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod. In return for your obedience, you will enjoy my generous protection.

Benny Newell: ZOD!

Rah: Wait! This simply cannot be true. You? (points at General Zod) You’re seventy three years old and you lost your superpowers in Superman II. And her? (points to Cindy)

General Zod: Yes. Cindy and I have been exclusive for several weeks now.

Cindy looks sheepishly away.

Cindy: Well? Not exactly.

The crowd gasps.

Joe Hoffman: This keeps getting better.

Cindy: I’ve…I’ve been having an affair.

Happy Mango and Bob Nye- Foot Fetish guy lean up against the ropes and watch with wonderment.

General Zod: This is mockery and treachery of the highest order. I dare say that I promise swift and ruthless executions of those responsible.

Again, everyone turns to Rah.

Rah: Stop looking at Rah. For the last time, Rah is not the father of her child nor is Rah having an affair with Cindy!

General Zod: General Zod demands to know who!

Lisa the Disgruntled Grocery Clerk steps forward. Cindy motions her towards her.

Benny Newell: YES! YES! HOT LESBIAN ACTION!

Lisa and Cindy passionately kiss and make out in the middle of the ring.

Benny Newell: YES! YESSSSSSSSS!

Rah bends down and whispers in Happy Mango’s ear.

Rah: Rah did not think this would turn into a Kirsta Lewis promo.

Joe Hoffman: Well, I can’t believe I’m saying this but…what will General Zod do about this?

General Zod slowly and methodically walks over to Lisa and Cindy. He suddenly grabs both by the hair.

General Zod: General Zod is hardcore! I’ll take them both!

Rah facepalms himself as Zod pulls Lisa and Cindy to his white haired chest and they both begin to kiss it.

The crowd begins to chant, “ZOD! ZOD!”

General Zod: Behold my power! All of you shall kneel before Zod’s mighty intergalactic jackhammer!

Joe Hoffman: I think I’m going to be sick.

Benny Newell: What? Are you pregnant, too?]

Rah’s eclectic entourage: Happy Mango, Bob Nye-Foot Fetish Guy, and the BronzeBeach Suntan Girls climb up to the ring apron to lead the applause.

Jill points at McAvay.

Jill Berg: “And last…but not least, Ray McAvay- former LSD champion…two-time ICON champion…and HOW World champion.”

The video screen comes to life…

High Octane Wrestling – June 14th, 2016 / War Games
Team Best vs. Team 4CW vs. Team Stevens vs. Team HOW Hall of Fame
[…The cameras capture 4CW owner Perry Wallace sitting back down in complete and utter shock of what he is seeing. He absent mindedly reaches into his pocket and lights up a half smoked joint he was saving and can only watch with everyone else as it unfolds.

The man is a bloody mess as all but one EPU agent exit the ring. The man is lying prone in the center of the ring on his back as the EPU agent kneels next to him and lifts his head up. It is then…and only then does he take off his helmet to reveal himself to the man. The other man in the match is literally dragged over to the center of the ring and placed on top of the EPU beaten man and Boettcher has no choice but to make the pinfall count.

1………………..

2…………………..

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The EPU agent…with helmet off…takes his place next to Lee and they both smile as they watch Matt Boettcher award the World Championship while the beaten man lies there in a puddle of his own blood.

The Beaten Man? Jace Parker Davidson

The EPU Agent? Jason Cashe

THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION? RAY MCAVAY!!!!!!!!!!

War Games comes to a close with a final shot of Ray McAvay holding the World Title…]

Jill Berg: Ray is one of six wrestlers in HOW history to have been the sole survivor at War Games with Chris America-twice, Max Kael, Evan Ward, Mike Best, and Jason Parker Davidson.

Again, the crowd applauds. McAvay raises his hand and gives them a thumbs up.

Jill Berg: And now, it’s your turn.

Berg turns to Halitosis and motions him over.

Jill Berg: “Tonight our friend Halitosis is joining an exclusive fraternity at our level. As you all know by now, he signed for HOW yesterday afternoon and that means tonight is his last official night here in Missouri Valley Wrestling.”

The twenty-nine hundred fans inside the Hartman Arena rise up to their feet to give Halitosis a standing ovation.

Halitosis nods his head and mouths ‘thank you.’

Jill Berg: “It’s not going to be easy. You will be challenged in a way that you’ve never been challenged before. But hey…if Ray McAvay can win the HOW World title then there’s hope for all of us yet.”

McAvay busts out laughing.

Ray McAvay: “Ain’t that the truth.”

*             *             *

ACT THREE

The first order of business for Halitosis post signing?

Of course, an appearance on the weekly wrestling program- The Wrestling Guys

The Wrestling Guys set is very simple in nature. Two folding chairs set off to the left of a large desk that fits two people. Fred ‘Thunderbolt’ Smith and former pro wrestler “Long Haul’ Rick Hall are the hosts. Smith is on the left and Hall to the right. Both sport polo shirts…Smith’s is black…Hall’s red…with matching ‘Wrestling Guys’ logos emblazoned on the front.

The cameraman swoops into position while a technical director cues Thunderbolt that he’s on.

Thunderbolt Smith: “And we are back. Our next guest is now a former two time Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team champion who just signed on to High Octane Wrestling. This guest carries on a tradition of HOW bringing up wrestlers from the lower levels of the wrestling world and giving them their chance.”

The camera pans over to Hall. He has a dictionary in his hands and reads from the book.

Rick Hall: “The definition of halitosis is as follows: the condition of having stale or foul-smelling breath. This guy has somehow found a way to make a living using a medical condition as his primary weapon inside the wrestling ring…”

Thunderbolt Smith: “With certain enhancements that Halitosis will explain to us in a few minutes…”

Rick Hall: “Ladies and gentlemen…HALITOSIS!”

Halitosis emerges from the back to applause from the live studio audience. He takes a wide berth around the desk and waves to both Thunderbolt and Hall while sitting down in a chair.

Thunderbolt Smith: “Congratulations.”

Halitosis (nodding back): “Thank you.”

Thunderbolt shuffles his notes.

Thunderbolt Smith: “When you got the call, what did you think?”

Halitosis rocks back and briefly looks into the air as if the answer is up there somewhere.

Halitosis: “I was a little surprised, I have to admit.”

Rick Hall: Did you expect it?

Halitosis: “I was not expecting it. When I heard the news that High Octane Wrestling was reopening, my first thought was if anything, Ray McAvay would probably go back.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Which is what we kinda all thought would happen. But he decided to stay close to home.”

Halitosis: “He did.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Were you surprised by that?”

Halitosis: “A little.”

Rick Hall: “I think what it came down to for Ray is he’s three years older now and he felt there was no conceivable way he’d be able to replicate the run he had in 2016 all over again.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “For the people watching our show, Ray McAvay held the ICON title for three months and then was the sole survivor at War Games 2016 to win the World title. He was the next to last person to hold the World title before HOW shut down.”

Rick Hall: “Ray’s always been about ‘the moment.’”

Halitosis: “You know, I spoke with him after a show…right after word started circulating that HOW might be opening up…and he told me: ‘when people think of High Octane Wrestling they think of Lee Best, Mike Best, John Sektor, Max Kael, Bobbinette Carey, Darkwing, Jatt Starr, Scottywood, Mario Maurako, Christopher America, Jason Parker Davidson, David Black, Tara Davidson, Aceldama, Chris Kostoff, and so on. I’m happy I was able to play a big part in the HOW story at the end in July 2016 and carve out my small notch in their history books. I had a remarkable run.’ So, he’s good.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Yeah. Exactly. I think he feels he’s had ‘his moment’ and Ray’s moved on in the same way that Dawn McGill moved on.”

Rick Hall: “Dawn’s also a mother now raising three children. MVW gave her a sweet deal where she works their television tapings every two weeks and only has to be on the road one weekend a month.”

Thunderbolt pulls the conversation back towards the present.

Thunderbolt Smith: “So, tell us about Halitosis.”

Halitosis fold his arms and thinks.

Halitosis: “I don’t do anything special in particular.”

Rick Hall: “Besides the breath thing.”

Halitosis: “Right. My finisher is the High Angle Senton Bomb off the top rope. I do some lucha-style things. Not very well, mind you…but I try.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Well, good enough to be a two time MVW Tag Team champion.”

Halitosis: “Yes. Rah…”

Random Guy in the Audience: RAHHHHHHHHH!

Assorted laughter follows.

Thunderbolt Smith: “Who let Benny Newell in the audience tonight?”

More laughter.

Halitosis: “Rah and I won the MVW title in August 2017 and held the belts for a couple months. Then we won the tag titles back from the Dork Dynasty last month. When I signed for HOW McAvay took my place and beat the Dorks again to retain the belts.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Will you make any changes with the move up to HOW?”

Halitosis: “Um…me personally…no. I’m going to do the same stuff there I did in MVW.

Thunderbolt Smith: “Is Regina going up with you?”

Halitosis: No. I will have a new manager in HOW since Regina McGill is staying in MVW to manage Rah and McAvay.”

Rick Hall: “Oh? Who’s it going to be?”

Halitosis: “Well, I’m supposed to meet him on your show tonight.”

This is news to Thunderbolt and Hall.

Thunderbolt Smith: “You are?”

Another backstage tech rushes on set and hands Thunderbolt a slip of paper. Thunderbolt reads the slip of paper.

Thunderbolt Smith: “Oh. Apparently he is.”

Rick Hall: “So we’re kind of breaking news here tonight.”

Thunderbolt Smith (to Halitosis): “Do you know anything about him?”

Halitosis: “Actually, no. This is all going to be new to me as well.”

Thunderbolt and Hall turn and exchange sour glances.

Thunderbolt Smith: “So without any further ado, let’s meet Halitosis’s new manager.”

The audience applauds.

Out walks ‘Cue-card Guy.’ He’s holding a series of cue-cards in front of him as he walks backward down the way.

Next out, a guy dressed in a black polo shirt and pants- presumably ‘the manager.’

He’s surrounded by the two scriptwriters who keep pointing at a ‘script’ that each hold while writing stuff down.

Random Guy in Audience: “BOOOOOOO!”

That upsets the guy in the polo shirt. He looks at the guy with the cue-card who’s pointing to his next lines.

Polo Shirt Guy (obviously reading from a cue-card): “MARK!“

Polo shirt guy then does a sweeping gesture to the audience with his hand.

Polo Shirt Guy: “YOU’RE…ALL…MARKS!”

The cue-card guy then changes the card.

Polo Shirt Guy: “KEYFABE…IS…DEAD!”

Again, Thunderbolt and Hall exchange ‘what the freakin’ hell?’ glances.

Thunderbolt Smith (accidently into the microphone): Ehhhhh?

Polo Shirt Guy walks over to Halitosis and waits for his cue-card. He leans forward to make sure he gets the words right.

Polo Shirt Guy: “Hello…I’m…Matt…your…new…manager.”

Halitosis manages a weak smile and shakes his hand.

Halitosis: “Nice to meet you.”

The cue-card guy changes the card. The scriptwriters nod approvingly.

Matt the Manager: “It’s…nice…to…meet…you…too.”

Matt pauses and then adds out of nowhere.

“…thank you.”

The handlers all stop and look at him. One guy holds up the script and points to the line.

Matt the Manager: “I ad-libbed.”

The miracle of revelation.

Other Three Guys: “Ohhhhhhhhhh!”

Guy with Script: “Good one sir!”

Thunderbolt Smith (to Matt the Manager): Do you want to explain this?

Matt holds up his hand to indicate just one second. Then he huddles with his scriptwriters. There’s a few awkward seconds of collaboration in the impromptu huddle before words are furiously scribbled on the script and then the cue-card.

Thunderbolt whistles while the process continues.

Matt then studies the script and reviews the cue-card. Then he reads right from the card…

Matt the Manager: “Yes. I…have…anxiety…induced…stage…fright…that…makes…it…hard…for…me…to…talk…in…public.”

One of the scriptwriters leans into Hall.

Scriptwriter Guy #1 (whispers discreetly): “Listen, I meant to ask earlier but…is there a master script for the show that we need to be following? Or do we need to provide our own answers here?”

Hall looks at him with an expression that implicitly suggests he’s telepathically saying you have got to be kidding me.

An awkward silence follows. Thunderbolt just stares at Matt.

Then…he suddenly turns to Halitosis.

Thunderbolt Smith: “So, you’ve been able to turn a common medical condition into a lethal weapon inside the ring.”

Halitosis: “Why yes. I’ve managed to discover a way to make a positive out of a negative…my bad breath.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “But it’s the way you go about it though. You go beyond just having bad breath. It’s like you’ve embraced it and made it work for you.”

A couple of backstage technicians come out with grocery bags and an industrial sized blender.

Halitosis: “Right. You see, there’s bad breath. And then there’s bad breath.”

Halitosis stands while the technicians then bring out a table and place it on the other side of the desk. He walks over and plugs in the blender. Then Halitosis starts sorting through the food inside the bag.

Halitosis: “So, what I like to do is start with a little garlic…jalapenos…some green peppers…banana peppers…a little curry powder…”

Halitosis sifts through the food on the table.

Halitosis: “Ahh! Some tuna and fish.”

Halitosis starts loading up the blender. First, the garlic, jalapenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and curry powder with tuna and fish.

Halitosis: “Okay. Now we add some cheeses…Brie…Roquefort…Epoisses…”

He drops the cheeses into the blender.

Halitosis: “Oooh. Here’s some bleu cheese and Stilton. Good stuff.”

Halitosis adds it to the mix.

Thunderbolt Smith: “What the hell is that stuff?”

Thunderbolt focuses in on the cheese Halitosis is meticulously placing inside the blender.

Halitosis: “This? It’s Stinking Bishop cheese- an English delicacy.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Stinking. Bishop. Cheese?

Halitosis: “The rind produces the odor and can be generously described as smelling like a pile of sweaty gym clothes.”

Rick Hall decides it’s time to move. He slips behind Thunderbolt and stands on the other side of him away from the table.

Halitosis: “And then there’s the granddaddy of stinky cheese. Limburger.”

He drops it into the blender.

Halitosis: “Germany’s smelliest cheese. Did you know that limburger is made using Brevibacterium linens?”

Rick Hall: “No I did not.

Halitosis: “It’s the exact same bacterium that gives your feet and armpits their natural air.”

Rick Hall: “And that’s why I’m staying right over here.”

Halitosis jams in the final piece of his radioactive nuclear concoction into the blender guaranteed to provide the extra paint peeling, eye-watering, mind blowing fragrance of rotting reekiness power he’s looking for.

Halitosis: “That’s probably a good idea. Okay. Now, it’s time to whip this up!”

Halitosis turns the industrial sized blender and churns up the contents inside.

Rick Hall: “Okay. Here’s the thing. He is about to drink what’s inside that blender.”

Halitosis: “And…we’re just about done.”

Halitosis turns off the blender and removes the top.

Thunderbolt Smith: “You are seriously about to drink that.”

Halitosis winks at Thunderbolt.

Halitosis: Bottoms up!

He tips his head back, he tips the container and guzzles down the content.

Hall’s hand covers his mouth.

Halitosis: “And wallah…my breath has now gone to a whole new level of malodor.”

A green haze emits from Halitosis’s mouth as he speaks. Thunderbolt waves his hands in front of him to keep the stench away.

Thunderbolt Smith: “Son of a bitch!”

Rick Hall: “I can smell it all the way over here.”

Matt the Manager’s scriptwriters get to work. They write a script. The cue-card guy writes up a cue-card. He shows it to Matt. He reads it right off the cue-card.

Matt the Manager: “Ew.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Okay. While you stay over there, let me ask you about your opponent on April 8th– Aunt Flo aka Florence Kearsay. What do you know about her?”

Halitosis shrugs his shoulders.

Halitosis: “Not a damn thing. I know she’s got a finisher that’s a variation of the Rings of Saturn. Besides that, I will need to do a little homework on her to get ready for our match.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “And if you get by Aunt Flo, HOW Hall of Famer David Black is next.

Halitosis: “I don’t know much about David Black either other than he’s a long time legend at High Octane Wrestling. He’s going to be a tough opponent to overcome if I end up wrestling him.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Any last words for our fans here tonight?”

Halitosis turns and faces the camera…which begins to tip up because the cameraman has taken a direct hit from his breath and passed out.

Halitosis steadies the camera and talks to it.

Halitosis: “Victory is only one breath away.”

Once again, Matt the Manager’s scriptwriters begin furiously working. Then they write a script. The cue-card guy writes up a cue-card. He shows it to Matt who reads it right off the cue-card.

Matt the Manager: “That’s…a…good…one. Wish…we…would…have…come…up…with…that.”

Thunderbolt Smith: “Of course, you do.”

Thunderbolt looks into the main camera.

Thunderbolt Smith: “We’ll be back with more after these messages.”

Roleplay Countdown

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